All language subtitles for Bipolarized.Rethinking.Mental.Illness.2014.WEBRip.x264-ION10

[music playing]

I just met this
woman that scared

the living shit out of me.

OK, so listen.

I don't know if she's
possessed or what.

[music playing]

My highs were always extreme.

I remember this one time
where I hopped in my car.

I'm driving from Los
Angeles back to Toronto.

Day two, day three
of no sleep and I

feel that euphoria
kick in again.

I'm feeling fantastic.

I'm driving through
Zion National Park.

I hit a deer at
70 miles per hour.

I totaled my car,
barely made it through.

Barely made it through,
it was really scary.

There I am, and the
car was still working,

drove home the whole way but
still feeling this euphoria.

My life wasn't always
so out of control.

My name is Ross McKenzie
Jr. When I was young,

my future looked bright.

Nice save, Ross!

Star athlete, class
valedictorian, lots of friends,

and a picture-perfect family.

Then I was robbed.

At 21, I had a psychotic
break that got me arrested

and institutionalized.

I was diagnosed with bipolar
disorder and put on lithium.

My life changed the
minute I was slapped

with that label 20 years ago.

When I was hospitalized, I
was told by psychiatrists

and by doctors,
you're going to have

to take this medication
for the rest of your life.

And probably the
worst thing they

said that was the hardest
thing to hear at the time was,

don't expect to do anything
special with your life.

You're not going to
really amount to anything

because you're going
to have to live

a very simple, quiet existence.

It's a very painful
experience to go through.

When he was medicated, he
was certainly not anything

like the son I had known.

It was very frightening.

For those of you
that aren't aware,

lithium is-- it's an
element found in the Earth,

but it's a very toxic element.

Side effects of lethargy
and weakness and brain

fog, and along with
the fact that it

starts to just wreak
havoc on all your organs

and starts to affect your
thyroid and your kidneys

and your liver.

I didn't see any emotion.

I mean, he sat in a chair
and didn't move for months.

It was horrible to watch.

He just appeared that
this was more numbness.

And all I could think
at the time was,

get your butt off that
couch or that chair.

But I knew that
he couldn't do it.

Was I bipolar?

I don't know.

What I do know is that I
felt isolated and different

from those around me.

The drugs were hurting
me more than helping.

Something didn't feel right.

I questioned my
diagnosis and the lithium

that sucked the life out of me.

I was determined to
get my life back.

Yes, so basically
what I'm looking for

is just something where I'm
going to be setting it up

on a tripod, probably
going to be measuring out

the distance at the same time.

But it's really basic
what I'm using it for.

OK, yeah, that should be
pretty simple to solve.

Full of drugs and
full of questions,

I decided to record
my journey as I

try to heal myself
naturally and become normal,

whatever normal is.

In February, 2010, I went
to an experimental clinic

in Costa Rica to safely
detox off of lithium.

I knew from experience
that to do so

without the proper
medical support

could be dangerous, even fatal.

So in the last five
years, I attempted twice

to go off of lithium.

And what I learned
is that I did it

under not safe and
not proper conditions,

and both of those
years had really

kind of disastrous
consequences, extreme lows, two,

three months of
debilitating depression

where I couldn't pick
myself up off the floor.

That was hard to watch him.

Sadness, the-- a lot of crying,
no interest in doing things

Here is the chemistry lab.

Get all cleaned up, all that
lithium that was gunking up,

trying to come out of my skin.

And at the end of the month,
I will be off lithium and drug

free.

It's February 4, so I have been
here for a couple days now.

You can see I've just got
little-- underneath here,

I've got these little electrodes
right at the top of my temples.

And again, just stimulating
currents into the brain.

Just to let you know
that I'm definitely

starting to experience
detox with lithium,

and manifesting as a
screaming headache.

It's kind of
interesting in the body

as you start to release
this stuff, the toxicity,

the body starts screaming
and actually really wants it.

Hello again.

The last few days have
been excruciating.

I couldn't wander around.

I couldn't sleep,
body aching, just

started vomiting this
stuff up everywhere,

my body rejecting it.

I literally felt like
I was going to die.

The end of this week to go
and then two more full weeks.

I can't wait to see
my mom back home

and my friends and my family.

Tonight is the last
night that I will ever

be taking lithium again
for the rest of my life.

I've been told,
I've been assured

that once it's
released and detoxed

and then the repair has taken
place that my brain function is

going to come back full force.

Ah.

OK, oh God, start again.

I can't quite imagine what
that's going to feel like,

but I know it's going
to feel fantastic.

So his journey to get
off the medication

has been a long one
and many tough times,

and he's spent a lot of
time with us during this.

And I've sort of
blanked on a lot of that

because it went on
for quite awhile

that I just blanked on
everything around that.

Go, go away.

I want to do this.

It's been about a
year and a half,

just over a year and a half
that I've been off of lithium.

And it's been amazing to feel
myself getting my life back.

This new found feeling makes me
wonder what other chemicals are

coursing through my body.

The next stop on
my journey leads me

to Dr. John Dempster,
a naturopath who

treats all kinds of conditions
from cancer to diabetes.

It's his work with
metal toxicity

that caught my attention.

I'm Dr. Dempster.

Come on in.

Excellent.

So Ross, some of
the things we're

going to be doing with you is
we're going to be assessing

has there been any residual
effect of any toxicity.

We're going to be measuring
some specific toxins with you

like metals.

We will be measuring some
neurotransmitters with you,

dopamine, glutamate,
serotonin, the chemicals that

can aggravate
anxiety, depression

if they're out of balance.

But one of the first core
things that I need to do

is actually do some
blood work with you.

I need to make sure that your
liver, your kidneys, everything

is working and processing fine,
because we want to make sure

that you're capable of handling
some of these therapies

that we're going to do with you.

I know you've been
exposed to lithium

and you've been on
it for some time.

And I know you're off
it now, which is great.

But we need to check
to see if there's

been any residual effect
of being on lithium,

and we need to
start to understand,

has there been any
damage done to any

of your neurological tissue.

So we're seeing a little
bit of adrenal fatigue here.

What's happening is your
pupil should constrict,

and it should hold.

Yours is actually doing this.

It's actually enlargening
when the light hits the eye,

and that's not what
we should be seeing.

So what is adrenal fatigue?

What's that?

Well, it means there's
been a stress on your body.

As I started coming
out of the fog,

it was clear I had
more questions.

What are some of these
psychotropic drugs doing to us?

I drive to Austin,
Texas, for the answer.

I reunite with my
friend Gwen Olsen.

She's the one who told me
about the clinic in Costa Rica.

Gwen was the top sales rep
for some of the biggest pharma

companies.

Now she's their top critic.

Oh my gosh, you're here.

Hi.

How are you doing?

So good to see you.

It's good to see you too.

Oh my gosh, you look so good.

Aww, thanks, you too.

I cannot believe how healthy you
are since the last time I saw

you.

I know, it's a little bit
different since the last time

we caught up.

Just a tad.

I know.

No minor meltdowns, I take
it, since I last saw you.

No, that was a bit of
an interesting ride.

Before detox, I was on
lithium for 16 years.

And I know that was a long time.

Every time I bring that up,
especially people, they're

like, wow.

That's a long, long time.

16 years is a very long time,
and I understand your concern

about that.

But lithium is a
natural salt, OK.

It's highly toxic, as you know.

But it is something natural,
whereas the other drugs

are synthetics.

And you never generally
find a psychiatric patient

that's just on one or two drugs.

They're normally on a
cocktail of various drugs.

And that's where I see
the biggest problem

with those individuals
who have been

on long-term
psychiatric treatment

with a number of
different drugs.

They seem to have the greatest
difficulty in weaning off

of the drugs because of
those drugs are actually

designed to be addicting.

Right.

So those drugs are much more
difficult to get off of,

and I think that that's pretty
much a part of the agenda

that you've been on
a drug for 15 years,

and you get off of it
in two weeks' time,

you're going to go into
an absolute tailspin.

And they know that.

But then when you come
back two weeks later

and you're having
a meltdown, you're

going to be told that,
well, we're sorry,

but you're going to have to
be on these drugs for the rest

of your life because you have
a brain chemistry imbalance,

and this is what we
have to do to treat it.

Right.

So that's the way that they
keep everyone captive, everyone

prisoner in the system
and on the drugs.

So now not only do
you have depression.

Now you're so severely depressed
that you can't get out of bed.

You can't function.

You can't work.

Or not only did
you have anxiety,

but now you're having
panic attacks because

of the withdrawal
from the drugs.

And people do not identify
that as withdrawal.

What they think is that they're
having an exacerbation--

Exacerbation of their
disease or whatever.

-- of their own disease
symptoms-- exactly.

And then they freak
out, and they go back

on the drugs for the
rest of their lives.

This is a disease.

It's a spiritual disease as
much as it is anything else.

And you need to figure out what
the root cause of the problem

is.

There are so many
different things

that can lead to
psychiatric symptoms.

And people simply need
to do their homework.

So that's what I
would advise you

to do is get to
the root of it all.

And once you have, then
you'll know all the answers.

So it is 1:00 AM November
24, and you're probably

wondering what on
earth is in my mouth.

I thought it was good to
actually check in and see

that this is part of
reality, because I still

can have these waves of anxiety.

It's this excess of
energy in my body.

And where I've put that
sometimes is actually

it's gone to a behavior that's
been actually quite painful

and caused damage to
myself, like chewing my lip.

One of my goals
through this process

is to actually rid
myself of this behavior

so that when I feel
this energy come

on that know how to
move it through the body

without actually going to
a behavior that has-- yeah,

it's been a self-mutilating
obsessive compulsive behavior.

Hey Ross, good to see you.

We gave you a call
because we have

found some things we're
going to talk about, OK?

We did two tests
with you, and we

started by looking
for recent exposure

to mercury in your blood.

Have a look at this.

Two big metals that are coming
out on top of the other ones,

and that's lead and mercury.

OK.

These are neurotoxins,
and these are serious.

And what these can do, these can
actually disrupt how we feel,

how we think.

These are not only
disrupting brain chemistry,

but they have the
potential to create

serious illness such as
cancer, heart disease.

These can be the triggers into
drop into a psychotic episode.

These are environmental toxins
that we are not born with

or were not supposed
to be born with,

and that's something that we're
going to try and bring these

down with you.

And it's going to take
a number of treatments.

This may actually take between
30 and 40 IV treatments

to bring these down.

What happens is metals, if
they come into our body,

it's a very hard process
for us to get them out.

If they're stored, we
actually have to in there,

and we have to grab
them and drag them out.

And that is actually a
process called chelation.

Chelate means to grab.

Have you had some food today?

Yep.

Lots of water?

Yeah, some.

Good man.

So we're not-- we don't have
your chelator in the bag yet.

I'm going to go add
that in right now.

That whole-- that drains
in a half an hour.

Yeah.

That's fast.

Pay attention, Ross.

I learned pretty
early on and when

I was young to
keep my mouth shut.

When I would go to speak up,
it wasn't accepted very well,

and I would get shut down.

Keeping my mouth shut doesn't
work so well for me anymore,

doesn't work at all, actually.

By not speaking up, I
think that's contributed

to a lot of anxiety and
a lot of depression.

I think that's what's caused an
enormous amount of my symptoms.

I actually had moments
where I was so emotional

today where I actually I
was buying into, oh my god,

am I not well again at all?

And I know that's bullshit too.

Somehow we've gotten
to this point in time

where emotions are not cool,
and if you have emotions,

that somehow that
needs to be diagnosed,

and you need to be
medicated with it.

Let's just get to the root
cause of these issues.

Let's find out so people
that buy into this,

I have this disease.

I'm told I'm going
to have to kind

of deal with these
symptoms and manage

these symptoms for
the rest of my life,

but no room for transformation,
no room for healing.

And actually, I found myself
getting really pissed off

about that.

Where does the personality
end and the disease begin?

Life getting you down?

Do you ever feel like
nothing makes you smile?

Don't feel motivated?

Just can't find
anything good on TV?

Addictarin can help.

Addictarin will add
bounce to your step.

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Turn that frown upside down.

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Addictarin, it's your
turn to be happy.

Side effects may include
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attacks, fainting, seizures,

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mouth, drooling, night sweats,

dry heaves, hair loss, insomnia,
unusual risk taking behavior,

decreased inhibitions, no
fear of danger, weight gain,

weight loss, hallucinations,
unusual thoughts, death,

and halitosis.

I thought it was
appropriate, given

that we're doing a
film on mental illness

and mental health that I would
dress up as the Mad Hatter.

I'm about to go out
with my lovely lady,

and we're about to go out
and hit a little Halloween

festivities.

That is that for October
31, 2011, Halloween.

Ross went to the lithium
clinic in San Jose, Costa Rica,

which is where I
lived for 12 years.

I showed up to sell
some of my products,

and he was at breakfast.

I made handmade soap,
cream, mud masks.

There was Ross and
a friend of his,

and we sat down and
had breakfast together.

You're like, uh,
yeah, you don't need

to bring your whole computer and
hardware in to deal with that.

I think he's one of the kindest,
most loving people I've ever

met in my life.

One of his major
journeys in life

is to make everybody around
him comfortable and happy.

So I think we're
fortunate in the fact

that in our relationship,
we've both done a lot of work,

whether that's psychological
work, whether it's

interpersonal work, whether
it's spiritual work.

And so we're very
open with each other.

And then they're just
like, [inaudible].

We all know somebody who's going
through some very deep pain

and who unfortunately
has turned that pain

into some sort of
action that got labeled.

And I think Ross now
sees it more as his duty

to say, hey,
there's more avenues

to talk about that pain.

Letting go of some
of the symptoms

that come along with having
18 years of suppressing

regular emotions, I think
that's very struggling.

I've definitely
seen him depressed.

I've definitely seen him
go through not wanting

to be around people
and just disappear.

It took me a long time to
realize that Ross actually

believed that he had things
he needed to let go of,

and he needed help
letting go of them.

Parmenio's a gentleman
who lives in Cartagena.

He's a naturopathic
doctor by trade,

and he has an ability to
contact spirits and work

with them to do psychic surgery.

He's worked with my dad, my mom.

So [inaudible], I was
just going to ask you too,

you know this journey I'm on
of self-healing and I've been

medicated with lithium
for quite a long time,

and so I've just wondered if
there's-- you get any sense,

like do you think when it comes
to that he may be able to help

me out?

I can not tell you
what to do, but I

think that it would be good for
you to try something like this

because I think he has
helped a lot of people.

And also, he was
born with this gift

that he is able to
talk to spirits.

And I don't know if
the word is channeling,

but maybe that's what he does.

I mean, I have seen
miracles happening.

So for you in your
case, he probably

will do a detox in
the spiritual world.

It's important for me not
to be afraid of the anxiety.

The freak outs are
real, and the freak outs

are not because I'm sick
but because I'm human.

I get to feel upset.

I get to feel sadness.

I get to feel anger.

I really like the fact that I
get to feel all of my emotions.

It's a very new
experience for me,

because when I was on
lithium, I was completely

deadened and flatlined where
I didn't have access to that,

not allowing or creating
the ability to heal.

My father died before
I started this journey.

He never got to see
me off the drugs.

Parmenio, can you
explain what we'll

be doing today in
today's treatment?

[speaking spanish]

I was wondering if, today if
you were working my father's

spirit for the treatment.

[speaking spanish]

OK, muy bueno.

[music playing]

[speaking spanish]

[music playing]

[speaking spanish]

Lithium?

[speaking spanish]

It's January 25, 2012, and I had
my first session with Parmenio

today.

I noticed when the
session first started,

I could feel my
father's presence

and felt myself
getting emotional.

Just as my father was
getting ready to pass on

and those last couple
months of his life,

and one of the last
conversations that we had

was me really asking him.

I said, I need your help
when you cross over,

and whatever you can
do in the other realms

and the other dimensions
to help me sort this out.

But I think what was the
most amazing part was just

how Parmenio, at the end,
I just, I said thank you.

And he responded back to me.

He said, don't thank me.

Thank your father.

Even though I felt great,
part of me was skeptical.

I detoxed off of
lithium two years ago.

How could it
possibly show up now?

So I turned to Dr. Dempster.

Hey, Ross, come on in.

Yeah.

We just got the
results in from--

They came in.

--the cotton ball that we
had tested with the lab.

Right.

Truthfully, I was very
skeptical of the treatment

you were doing down there.

Right.

And I've got to show you.

The lab sent back
the results, and not

only did it detect mercury,
but it detected lithium.

What's interesting about that
as well is that I brought back

a little tiny piece of after
the treatments were done.

But there was a big
jar, and so there

was a huge amount of that
cotton that was discolored.

So this is just kind of a
fraction of what was pulled.

So--

This is very interesting to us.

Wow.

Even the lab was interested.

Everyone's just sort of
scratching their head

on this one.

It was worth the
trip to Colombia.

That's right.

Good job.

So it's February 8, 2012.

It's actually officially mental
health day here in Canada.

The days keep rolling, rolling.

We're living in a wacky
world, that's for sure.

Feeling very rough today
and very emotional.

Incredible challenges
with the woman

who I love dearly
and loves me dearly.

And yeah.

Just causing a lot of anxiety
and a lot of stress and just

the fear or being alone and
actually taking care of myself.

I'm done for now.

I'm tired.

And yeah.

I got the phone call from Ross.

He was in New York City at the
time on the student exchange.

His voice was sped up.

He wasn't sleeping.

And I knew that the behavior
and what I was hearing

wasn't the brother that I knew.

Hey, hey, can I buy you dinner?

I know you don't know me.

I don't know you.

I'm serious.

Let's go right now.

Come on, come on, just come on.

Come on, come on.

I'm on the streets, brother man.

I'm hungry and
I'm homeless, man.

OK, OK.

He told me he was feeding people
in the soup kitchens all night,

and he was giving away
his clothes and his money.

Here, you need some money?

Here, just take it.

Take it.

And then when I heard he thought
he could fly off the Empire

State Building and land safely
was when I said, are you

willing to come home?

Hey, hey, hey.

If I went right up there to
the top, I could totally fly.

If I could do it, I would do it.

I'd fly.

I'd just fly.

When he arrived at the airport,
I picked him up, and he-- you

know, at Toronto
International Airport

where you have that border
that you walk through.

Well, he jumped over it and
landed in front of me, big hug,

and his eyes were glazed.

And he had lost, I don't know,
30 pounds and just sped up.

Planned an intervention
at Grant Valley Hospital.

Everybody's world was
rocked because here's

this prodigal son
excelling at everything,

and then all of a
sudden something's off.

The state he was in, the
amount of weight he had lost,

I just said, you
could be in jeopardy

of having a heart attack.

Will you come to the
hospital with me?

So he said, oh my
god, yeah, of course.

And we went into the hospital,
and the whole family was there.

The doctor was there,
and it was clear

that they needed to admit him.

There were pieces of
Ross that came out

that I'd never witnessed before.

I remember him turning
to my dad and going, so,

what the fuck do
you think of me now?

I'm a big chick magnet.

I drive a convertible.

Fucking proud of me now?

So the truth was coming out.

And my dad, he didn't
know what to do with this.

Ross somewhat got trapped
in the mirror of my father,

if that makes any sense.

There was a lot of pressure in
terms of being the number one

athlete, in terms of whether
it was scholastically,

whether it was socially.

I think Ross felt
a lot of pressure

to live up to whatever
it was my dad expected

of him, which was a lot.

So it's May 3, 2012, and we're
on our way to Philadelphia

to the American Psychiatric
Association Conference.

It's at the headquarters
in Philadelphia.

And there is also going to be a
global demonstration going on.

I have no idea of the
numbers, what to expect.

But I know that
it's been promoted

for the last few months.

[music playing]

It's taking me a long
time to find my voice.

But once in Philly,
I find others

who aren't afraid to speak up.

Laura Delano was diagnosed
bipolar as a teenager.

She treated her
symptoms with drugs

and quietly accepted her
condition, until now.

Hi.

Hi.

It is an honor to be
able to call myself

a psychiatric survivor,
especially one representing

my generation.

My generation has
grown up believing

that if we can't
focus on our work

because we're distracted by
the boy we have a crush on,

by the upcoming game
we're playing in,

or by the constant bombardment
of media from which we can't

escape, we have a brain disease
and subsequently medicated

with brightly colored capsules
and bitter tasting pills.

During my 13 years in
the mental health system,

I believed that I was
broken and incapable

of being fixed, that
I needed psychiatry

to create a life that came
anywhere close to being

considered normal, that
my emotional suffering was

due to something wrong with
my brain and not the fact

that I was a young girl trying
to make sense of herself

in a culture based so much
on performance achievement

and perfection, that the
emptiness I felt inside

was because I was
severely borderline.

I kept waiting and
waiting for the day

to come when my psychiatrists
and my medications

would give me a
life worth living,

and that day never came.

Instead, my life became
lonelier, emptier, and number

than it had ever been before.

The profound anger I
have today for those

still labeled and still trapped
within the biomedical paradigm

of psychiatry is a healthy one
that fuels me and motivates

me to do whatever I
can to make a change.

We got some labels.

Get your labels, hot labels.

Anyone else want an ADHD?

Yes please.

Bipolar!

We've got bipolar.

Human rights.

When do we want them?

Now!

Human rights.

When do we want it?

Now!

You're on the wrong
side, psychotic.

Now he's labeled psychotic.

Label charts.

Not people.

Label charts.

Not people.

I'm here today as a
psychiatric survivor.

I'm a psychiatric survivor.

I'm a psychiatric survivor.

The first time I ever
met the psychiatrist,

he gave me six prescriptions.

Prozac, Zoloft,
trazodone, TOPAMAX,

which I ended up overdosing on.

I had lithium
toxicity at age 16.

Wellbutrin, trazodone,
and Lamictal.

I'm a licensed psychologist.

Two-year-olds who
have temper tantrums

are told that they
have bipolar disease,

and they're medicating
young children,

and they're absolutely
destroying lives.

My favorite label of all
of them was an at-risk.

Hey, hey, APA, how many
kids did you kill today?

You know, I don't know
what they're protesting.

If they're protesting being
labeled, say, like bipolar,

it would be like
saying somebody's

labeled because
they have cancer.

And is that a label?

I don't think it's
a label per se.

I think it's a
condition of the mind,

and it's eminently treatable.

So that's what
psychiatrists tries to do.

It tries to resume--
restore normal functioning.

What do we want?

Human rights.

When do we want it?

Now!

I've traveled 600 miles.

It's the first time I've
travel alone in 11 years.

It's that important to me.

I'm here today to rip
up my bipolar label.

Yeah.

I am not a label.

And the day I stop apologizing
for myself is right now.

We cannot be stopped.

We cannot be stopped.

We cannot be stopped.

This book is the root cause
of the protesters' anger.

It's the book that
creates all these labels,

the Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders,

or the DSM for short.

It's often referred to as
the Bible of psychiatry.

Published by the American
Psychiatric Association,

it's used by clinicians
and psychiatrists

to diagnose
psychiatric illnesses.

The current edition
has 365 diagnoses

and defines the ways
our brains can go awry.

Once a label gets
dispensed, that

means drugs can be
prescribed to treat it.

For Robert Whitaker, the
labels didn't make sense.

So he made a career
debunking what

he calls the myths
behind mental disorders.

There's sort of a
story that has come out

of the APA over the past
30 years in a form of care

and a belief in what's possible.

And I think a meeting
like this is really

looking for perhaps a different
vision of what's possible.

I've read his bestselling
books, Mad in America

and Anatomy of an Epidemic.

I wanted him to
explain to me why

we're seeing more people
diagnosed with mental illnesses

than ever before.

I wanted to first ask
as a journalist, how

did this topic of mental
health, how did it

become such a passion for to
research and write about it?

From 1994 to 1998,
I had a company

that reported on
the business aspects

of bringing new drugs to market.

Came upon studies by the
World Health Organization

that found that patients
diagnosed with schizophrenia

in the poor countries of the
world did better, much better

than in the rich
countries of the world.

And so I wanted to know why.

I found that patients
in the poor countries

weren't being maintained on
medications long term, most

of them.

And this belied everything
I knew as a journalist

to be true.

Because my understanding
was anybody diagnosed

with schizophrenia needed
to be on the meds for life

because they were like
insulin for diabetes.

And then once I began reporting
on it and researching,

it became clear to me that
the story we as a society

were telling ourselves
about making great advances

in understanding the
biology of mental disorders

and great advances in
treating mental disorders,

it wasn't a true story.

And that myth,
that delusion, was

causing a great deal of harm.

Why do you think we're seeing
such an increase in psych

labels and psych medications?

The only real way
to understand it

is through a capitalistic lens.

So you make drugs,
what do you want to do?

You want to increase
the market, right?

So the way you
increase the market

is you expand the definitions
of who needs the drug, right?

I remember calling up someone
at a pharmaceutical company

and asking them about the
chemical imbalance theory.

And he says, well,
it's not really true.

And I said, what do
you mean it's not true?

Uh, we say that to get
people to take the drugs.

He said that to you.

Yeah, and I'm like,
well, I didn't know that.

It's a business success story.

What are your thoughts today
with the DSM-V coming out?

What are your
thoughts on the DSM-V?

Listen everybody's going to be
in DSM-V. Every single person

can find themselves
in DSM-V. Actually, I

think they can find
themselves in DSM-IV.

But trust me, you'll be in
DSM-V. I'll be in DSM-V.

And it means--

I'm already in DSM-III and IV.

OK, you're already
in III and IV.

Technically.

But what I'm saying
is, we've allowed

so many categories of
feelings, emotions,

moods that if you
go to a psychiatrist

or actually if you go to
your doctor complaining

of some unease, you will
be eligible for a diagnosis

and a treatment.

Here's what is really,
really exciting

about what just got discovered
and what's going on.

A man by the name of Allen
Frances, who is literally

lead editor of the fourth
edition of the psychiatric

Diagnostic and
Statistics Manual,

he is actually coming out
to say that what he has done

and the manual that he created,
he is actually mortified by it.

And I want to just
read a quote because I

think it's really important.

This is Allen Frances quoted as
saying, "We made mistakes that

had terrible consequences
with the Diagnostic Statistics

Manual number four.

Diagnosis of autism, attention
deficit hyperactivity disorder,

and bipolar disorder
skyrocketed."

And Frances thinks
that his manual

inadvertently facilitated these
academics and in the bargain

fostered an increasing tendency
to chalk up life's difficulties

to mental illness and then treat
them with psychiatric drugs.

Again, this isn't about
an attack on everyone.

This is about, let's
create the awareness.

Let's actually get things
right, and let's move forward

in creating a new reality
so we can get people help

and not actually get people
into a situation where there's

more and more sickness
and illness being created

that actually isn't even
real and doesn't even exist.

When he was young, seeing the
doctor at CAMH and saying he

still wanted to come off
lithium, and the doctor said,

oh no, he can't.

And Ross said, why don't you
try it and see how it feels?

And with that, the doctor
walked into the door,

and that was the last time
I think he saw the doctor.

I'm not knowledgeable enough
about the whole disease.

But seeing him the
way he is now--

Any other questions?

--I think there may
be some misdiagnosis.

I think there's a possibility.

I'm feeling better
and better each day,

and I'm really happy about that.

I am so delighted now
to see the changes.

And I've had people recently
ask me how Ross is doing,

and I said amazing.

Much more focused.

I go back to the place
I call the battlefield

of my fight over my
bipolar disorder.

I was a patient at the Centre
for Addiction and Mental

Health, CAMH for short.

I wanted to be off my drugs.

My psychiatrist
wanted me on them.

It was a struggle that ended
when my doctor delivered

the final blow, accept the
treatment or leave his office.

I've gone through a lot
of changes since them,

but what about the system?

I reach out to Dr.
David Goldbloom,

the senior medical
advisor for CAMH

and the chair of the Mental
Health Commission of Canada.

Now, along my journey,
I've met people

who have been
prescribed medications.

Right.

And then with that,
then they're prescribed

more medications to kind
of deal with the side

effects of those medications,
getting into like a cocktail.

I don't think we
are over medicating

with psychotropic medications.

If you look in
community surveys,

most cases of depression are
still missed in the community.

So if you've got
depression in Canada,

the greatest likelihood is
you're not going to be treated.

Does that mean that the
right people are always

getting the right medication?

No it doesn't.

Inevitably, some people
have been misdiagnosed.

That's abundant throughout
all of medicine, right?

When I make a
diagnosis, I'm often

doing so at a 90 degree
angle to the trajectory

of somebody's life.

You're not with them
before they got ill.

You're not with them
necessarily a year or two later.

You're coming in at
a 90 degree angle.

I guess at this point, I wanted
to talk about the mental labels

and the manual
responsible for them.

You know, the DSM is now
going into its fifth edition.

And it started out to
be a shared language

of communication so that health
professional A could talk

to health professional
B about a patient

and know that they were talking
about the same phenomenon--

Right, speaking
the same language.

--that they were seeing,
a shared language.

So I wonder if you could walk
me through the process of how

a new disorder is actually
entered into the manual.

Firstly, they have a
kind of open process

where people can
lobby, if you will,

for clinical concerns
that they have

that they think
should be considered

as a possible diagnosis.

For every one of the groups
of psychiatric disorders,

they have an expert panel,
psychiatrists, psychologists,

social workers,
people with expertise

in that particular area.

And some diagnoses
will make the cut,

and some will not make the cut.

And I think that
they've been actually

quite scrupulous in trying
to control and contain

the influence of
pharmaceutical companies.

The challenge is that
some of the people who

sit on the DSM committees
have affiliations

with drug companies.

When he first was
admitted, I know

that they misdiagnosed
him, and they

thought he might
be schizophrenic.

He did not want to be in there.

He was pretty angry
with me too because I

was the catalyst
in getting him in.

And when he escaped,
that was the worst night.

My boyfriend Luke is
picking me up tonight.

Because really there's
nothing wrong with me.

It's just I have
all these tears.

They just keep
falling and torturing

and falling and torturing.

Do you know what it feels like?

Mm-mm, no.

It's hell.

And no one is helping me.

And there's different
kinds of tears.

There's tears of sadness like
when something really bad

happens to me like
my grandma died.

And I was crying because I knew
I would never see her again.

Then there's flower tears.

And flower tears are
the shapes of petals.

But it's the acid tears.

Can you protect me
from the acid tears?

They burn holes in my skin.

Hello?

Hi there.

I just need--

Can I help you?

--need to use the phone.

Oh, [inaudible].

I just met this
woman that scared

the living shit out of me.

I don't know if she's
possessed or what,

but I need to get to
the Toronto airport,

and I need to get
to South America.

So I need you to help me.

Look, I will pay you back.

I [inaudible].

I need to leave tonight.

Look, I'll be at the corner
of Young Street and Lake Shore

Boulevard.

Please, I just need
you to do this, OK?

I'll see you there.

OK, bye.

Excuse me.

Wait a second.

Excuse me!

Yes, a man just broke into my
house wearing hospital garb.

Yeah, everyone's OK.

Just that whole sense of
not having any control

over anything, which I
guess none of us do anyways.

But when you love
somebody so much

and you know they're
in trouble and they're

somewhere out in the streets,
and they won't let us anywhere

near him, and they
had the police

looking for him and
dogs looking for him,

and then to later find
out they beat him up

because he was resisting--
he was panicked.

Somebody in the hospital was
saying they were the devil

and they were going to kill him.

I mean, he was panicked.

Excuse me, sir.

Can you give me a
lift to the airport?

I just need to get
to the airport.

So that's I guess when they
put him in the straitjacket

in the white padded room,
wouldn't let us see him.

I just can't imagine
what he went through

or anybody goes through.

What I know now if I'd
known then, it's horrifying.

When I witnessed what
was happening for Ross,

unfortunately I
looked at my parents,

and I went, what the hell?

And you're surprised?

Just coming to Laguna Beach now.

I'm going to see
my sister Laura who

has been here for
more than 10 years.

I have lot of memories here.

My parents had to
get a place here.

My dad came out on business and
fell in love with it so much.

It was amazing to
spend my summers here.

Yeah, and just a lot
of incredible memories.

And this is a place
that-- where I,

probably one of the places that
I feel my dad's spirit most

strongly resides.

Oh my god, you're here.

Welcome.

Now I'm getting a
chance for the weekend

just to relax and
visit my sister, Laura.

She's one of my best
buds, and kind of just

be able to chill
out for the weekend.

It's been a while since
I've done a class,

but I did a yoga class.

Yoga's a huge part
of what's really

important to my own personal
practice and staying grounded

and saying well and
staying balanced.

And it's just something that's
so important to keep up.

It's amazing.

This is like a moving, sweating
meditation that is so good.

And the benefits of just
staying consistent with it

is huge of just staying
grounded and focused

when, you know, the
world can just be nuts

and swimming around.

It is September 21,
2011, and I'm here

getting my second
chelation treatment.

It is my eighth
chelation session today.

17th chelation
treatment right now.

I have at this points done
20 chelation sessions.

So it's January 10, 2012,
super freaking stressed today.

It's actually a great
challenge for me

because I have to constantly
get better and better.

Things are heating
up, and this process

is getting more stressful.

And stress is not a
good thing for me,

and I start to feel unbalanced.

And coming through
this whole ride

and being able to
manage and stay balanced

is probably my biggest
stress challenge to date

as far as any kind of work
environment I've been in.

And today I'm not
feeling as grounded,

and you can probably see that.

We're bombarded.

We're bombarded.

I'm just feeling
really out of sorts.

I just had a complete
explosion and blowout.

Bombarded.

This thing happened so quick.

Phone call, it was an email,
and I didn't do the reply all.

And then frick, are we
at this place again?

Like it goes both ways.

I'm a fricking bonehead.

I think the tension in your
head, tension in your jaw,

really, really intense.

You start to feel unbalanced.

But you know what?

This is also being human.

I embrace that too.

And the last thing I want
to do is be numbing out

from the intensity
of what's going on,

because it's really important
to be on, right on it.

It is not an easy road.

And just because maybe some
side effects of medications

are released, you know, I still
find I'm managing, like again,

right now I'm
managing stress loads.

And it's something
that's really important

to know that you have
to have your tools.

You have to have
your tools in place.

If you don't, jeez,
I mean, things

could just get--
things can go haywire.

As tension builds in the body,
it takes time to chip away

and release that tension again.

Why don't I show you
where we were before?

This will be the easiest way.

Yep.

So this is where we were when
we first did our test, right?

This is where our mercury was.

This is where our lead was.

Look at where we are now.

Wow.

You've done very well.

That's huge.

And we've gone from a level
of 17 in mercury down to 7.1.

That's huge.

Yeah.

So less than half.

And these, again, these
are powerful neurotoxins

that we want to get down.

Right.

And we want to get you
down into the green,

so we've got a little
bit more to go,

but you've done very well.

The lead generally takes
longer to get down,

but it's still coming
down very nicely,

and we've gone from
an 11 to a 4.6.

OK.

I'm impressed with this.

I'm happy with your
progress right now.

What I'm noticing now is
that I'm allowing myself just

to live life and experience
normal ups and downs.

And yeah, I get
stressed out sometimes,

and I deal with that.

But the difference now is that
a huge difference from what

it used to be
before is that when

I was diagnosed
bipolar and medicated,

I spent every second questioning
every mood, every thought.

And I was always in a
state of, am I too high?

Am I too low?

Am I too sad?

Am I too this?

Am I too that?

And I couldn't even live life.

To be in this place now is a
huge, huge different shift,

and I'm just going to just
ride with it because I'm

enjoying this new
state of being.

OK, thanks for the--
bah, excuse me.

Thanks for the pink flamingos.

They're great.

Between dad's bad mood, my
mom overflowing the Jacuzzi,

they're not bad, and I've
had a good life with them

And I'd like to thank
them much, and I

hope they bring me up
well, because [mumbling]

OK, I can't do it on my own.

Thanks very much, and I've got
to go because I'm very nervous.

OK, thanks, bye.

When Ross was really
young, I saw him

as this really
sensitive person who

everything affected
him really deeply.

And he didn't really show
his emotions all that much.

I mean, he'd go and hide to
show-- to express his emotions.

So I always felt really
protective of him.

It's like I was always watching
and making sure he was OK.

And it wasn't easy
growing up in our family.

We talked about everything,
but how we felt about things

wasn't always OK.

So we kind of had to
keep that to ourselves

or be told that we were wrong
for feeling the way we felt.

Whatever move we
made, we were always

going to get in
trouble for something.

I feel like I'm making
up for some growth.

I realized I was asleep at
the wheel for a long time.

I spent so many
years on auto pilot.

I think there's times I denied
what I'm actually feeling.

I spent a lot of my life going
outside of myself for answers.

And I think what
I'd like to learn

is this concept of going within.

I have to fix myself.

I know someone who can help
me confront my feelings,

feelings that I've
buried for so long.

Dr. Charles Whitfield
is a physician

based in Atlanta,
Georgia, and specializes

in psychological
trauma and recovery.

We met last year at a
mental health conference

and have been in touch since.

In his 30 years of
research, Whitfield

found that most of his
patients were misdiagnosed

with some form of
mental illness.

So Dr. Whitfield, I'm
here today because I've

been reading some of
your books, and it's

been starting to get me
to ask a lot of questions

just about my own experience.

You talk a lot about post
traumatic stress and all that,

and I'm curious to
learn more about that.

Well, what I've noticed with
my countless number of patients

over the decades is that when
I take a careful history,

including a drug intake
and a trauma history,

probably more than half have
in fact PTSD-- Post Traumatic

Stress Disorder.

But when I hear the term post
traumatic stress disorder,

I'm think-- like immediately
my brain goes to, like, people

that have come back from the
war and veterans and things

like that.

So how does that
relate even to me?

Well, it sounds
like you certainly

had a series of acute
traumatic stress

experiences in your history
that you just told me.

But what about before that?

In your childhood growing up,
what was your family of origin

like, and how did your
parents and siblings

and other people
around you treat you?

[cheering]

My father wanted a son forever.

So we always called
Ross the golden child.

He always had this sensitivity.

I mean, we loved him from the
day he came into the world.

And he grew up in a pretty
overpowering family,

a very strong domineering father
who liked to take up space.

I've also been blessed with
three wonderful children.

I don't tell them
this enough, and I

want to tell it to them
in front of all of you.

I'm particularly
proud because not only

are they sensitive to
people-- all three of them--

but in their own way,
they're carving out

their own personalities.

And they believe in
what they believe.

And it isn't always what
Donna and I believe,

but they have the
strength and the courage

to go ahead and do it anyway.

He viewed us as a reflection
of him and an extension of him.

So when we didn't
measure up-- and he

was a very tough
man on himself--

if we didn't quite measure
up, then that scared him.

If Ross excelled, my dad
felt OK about himself.

There was a lack of a
separation of where my dad ended

and Ross began.

You stupid fucking idiot.

What is your problem?

He could be verbally abusive.

He could be physically abusive.

He could be emotionally abusive.

He did that a lot with Ross.

He'd be running back and
forth across the ice screaming

and yelling every
time my brother even

let a shot get close.

I guess Ross just
really never spoke up.

I mean, he kind of
just squashed it in.

God dammit Ross, in the
first half on the breakaway,

I told you to shoot
left, and you shot it

straight at him,
completely open net.

You've practiced that a million
times, and you missed the net.

You're 10 feet away.

What is wrong with you?

I scored both goals.

But you didn't win.

Two off the post,
one off your head,

how many opportunities
are you going to miss?

Wanting to be everything that
you could be for yourself

and to make this
man proud of you

and always feeling
that you never

could achieve that is
like a no-win situation.

So he ragefully, verbally, and
psychologically, emotionally

abused you then, it sounds like.

Jeez, I think young Ross
has got one on there too.

He does.

Yeah.

I had-- yeah.

There was quite a bit of that.

And see, that's the most
common cause of child abuse,

except that it's more subtle,
and it's harder to remember

and it's harder to put
together and realize

that that was really abuse.

And what you likely experienced
was an age regression,

and that's when we suddenly
feel little, small, and totally

insignificant, and we
zone out completely.

That's two big bits of
trauma that you experienced,

it sounds like.

Father son traumatic
experience and abused

mentally, emotionally,
and physically

by the Canadian
mental health system,

it sounds to me like you
probably don't have bipolar.

So that I-- I
wasn't dealing with

and I wasn't bipolar at all.

I was actually dealing
with post-traumatic stress.

Correct.

Ah.

Hm.

They burn holes.

They burn holes.

They burn holes.

I just need you to do this, OK?

And my dad, I know he came from
a really dysfunctional family.

And he was just this really
sweet guy with this huge heart,

but he was troubled.

Looking back at the
relationship with my father,

it makes sense to
me that I may have

suffered post-traumatic stress.

And it's a condition I feel
I can work through naturally.

It is really a
special day today.

Today is the day we're
actually driving to San Diego

to see Peter Levine.

Peter Levine is a person who's
created somatic experiencing.

The core of this
work is about trauma

and it's about releasing trauma
from the body that actually

gets held and stuck in the body.

And there's a lot of anger
still sitting in the body.

And it makes sense
to me because what

I learned from a very young age,
it wasn't OK to express anger.

And so, you know, when I would
have situations like that,

I would just
constantly swallow it.

What I'm realizing now is
actually swallowing that energy

every time and that
energy sits in the body

and can cause issues.

Do you want to say a little
bit about your anger?

Growing up, it wasn't
OK to express it.

Yeah.

And how is it to be with it
now, with the aggression?

It's OK.

I still notice that it's
a scary place to go to.

Yeah.

So let's just go inside
for a little bit now,

and just explore your
inner experience,

and just report what
you're noticing.

That I just-- I just
remember the terror.

Do you see yourself
with your father?

Yeah.

Pay attention, Ross!

I see a very large man
who was sitting in shame.

This is really
important that you're

able to see that, the shame
that's underneath this rage.

And now maybe see if you're
able to allow an image

to come up to see your father
around the age of seven,

to see him as a child
around that same age.

I see it.

You see it.

Can you also imagine
seeing you at that age

also together there with
your father at age seven?

Yeah, we look like twins.

We're both at that age.

You look like twins.

Yeah, we're actually enjoying
each other's company.

Yeah, really the enjoyment
just to be together.

Yeah.

And he's encouraging.

Encouraging, yeah.

Yeah, he must've been really,
really proud, proud of you.

I also noticed too
just that exercise

of going back and having
my seven-year-old play

with my father's
seven-year-old was--

there was a real
shift in compassion.

Exactly.

Exactly.

It started to develop right
when you could see him

as struggling with
his own being shamed.

And you can certainly
easily imagine his father

doing similar things or worse.

And his mother always
told him how much

she hated him every day.

And his father was
alcoholic and very abusive.

It's actually quite remarkable
the man that he turned out--

with his flaws-- considering
what he went through.

Yes, right, and to know from
that place of compassion

that he did the
best that he could.

Yep.

Looks like you
have another tool.

Mm-hmm.

Just got to have my final
visit with Dr. Dempster

and get the results
from all the work

that I've really been
focused on doing with him.

And the results were just more
than I could have asked for.

I've been feeling
amazing, especially

these last few months.

More focus, more concentration,
the ability to get things done

and stay focused for long
periods of time, something

I never-- last year at
this time wasn't even

a possibility for me.

The most important
thing of all of it

has been about healing
the stuff with my dad

and I, this incredible,
incredible guy,

and we had our
stuff to work out.

And so as I come to the
end of this journey,

we're going to go back to where
my sisters and I delivered

my father's ashes and his
favorite fishing hole.

And so to get to go back
there and pay tribute

and to go out in the ocean and
have a moment is just-- gosh,

it's a dream come true.

I feel so blessed to be able
to finish things off this way.

So I'm getting ready to go.

So that's it.

Bye.

As I look at root causes
of what I went through,

what was causing symptoms,
I think a big part of it

was the relationship
with my father

and actually healing
with my father.

This was a place where we
spent a lot of time together.

It was kind of like a
ritual coming up here.

And because this is where
I feel him the strongest,

this would be a great
place to have closure

and to be able to
really move forward.

All the challenges, all the
stuff I was working through,

all the anger that I
had for so many years

doesn't feel like it's
a part of me anymore.

It's surreal being back here.

It's a real feeling of wow,
you know, we really did it.

My dad loved fishing, so
we would come out here,

and he'd be up at like 5:30 AM.

And I would have a
hard time waking up.

For a lot of the years when
we were coming up here,

I was still on lithium in that
foggy, drug-induced state.

I think because he
loved it so much,

there's a part of me that just
really got into it as well.

In the beginning, I found
it really challenging

to be out there in
the cold for so long.

But as time went
on, I really started

to enjoy the ritual of it all.

Being out on the
water for 12 hours,

there would be
hours that would go

by where we wouldn't say a word.

It was almost meditative.

This is my favorite
picture of us.

We're both kind of
laughing and smiling,

and that's how I want to
remember the relationship.

I know he knows what
I'm doing right now.

And I know he-- he's
in-- he's in-- I

know he's in full support.

Everything's on the right
path, and it feels good,

and it's emotional.

Yeah.

[music playing]