All language subtitles for mkvCinemas.Com - Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2 - 2015 Hindi Uncensored WebHD 720p Aac 2.0 Esub - mkvCinemas_track3_eng

This is Adi from Radio City 91.1.

The traffic conditions are such that if
you are traveling from ITO to India Gate,

you should be fine.

But Lajpat Nagar to Ashram
is a whole other story.

Please avoid this route if you can.

If you really want to stop
Delhi's fast-paced life

then you need only one thing,
that's a red light...

Darn you, Chauka. This is all your fault.

There was a race track here
an hour ago, right?

Why are you whining? I'm driving here.

Obviously, you would.
You're a Sikh, almost.

Today, I'm driving on the way back.

Keep dreaming.

When I am drunk, I only trust myself.

And, just slightly more than that,
I trust Chauka.

I wouldn't even let you drive sober.

Listen, I can drive drunk
better than both of you.

Have you lost it?

Are you planning to fly over the traffic?

Are people in our country fools?

As if the traffic will clear
just by honking your horn.

He's honking as if the other guy
doesn't want to move on.

I'm here to settle down
and grow roots, right?

I've just decided I am going to
hold up the traffic and stay put.

Why are you hollering?
This is all your fault.

Yes, everything in your life
is my fault, right?

Don't mind him. He'll be still saying
the same thing when he has a kid.

This is all because of you.

Man! Get a move on!

Okay.

Take the call, buddy.

Speak to your mom, she must be worried.

Forget about it. She knows where I am.
But she'll still call every single day.

Sir. Your call.

Hey? Where? What?

Tell me, quick. I can't see it.

Hurry up and tell me,
it's got to be Obama.

Please, tell me.

Awesome.

Loser, why don't you say it
loud enough so they can hear you?

We are not cheap like you.
We are admirers.

You fools are going to be
admiring away all your life.

Chauka, the day we really like some girl

and mere admiration is not enough,
we'll go to talk to her.

We'll be loving, polite.
Then the ball is in her court.

Right, buddy?

Respect, Chauka.

I am more respectful than you.

I have never looked at a girl so far.

When did you ever look at girls?

You've studies in an only boys' school.

Then you did engineering
where there are hardly any girls.

And the girls who are there
and halfway decent to look at,

they won't spare you a second glance.

They're the ones who are committed,
from the word go.

Now, you're getting the third degree
in a four by four cubicle, every day.

Sure, why don't you
join the torture squad?

It's a free for all. Join the club.

Free for all?
Isn't the company paying you?

Fool, my dad's hounding me
with his MBA chant.

They scam us big time.

In the tenth grade they said,
just one more year.

Do that, and they say just two more years.
Get through engineering.

Then they start wailing about the IITs.

Do the IIT graduates have wings
sprouting out of their backs?

Then they say, "Fine, whatever.
Just get a placement. You're settled."

But nothing doing.
Now, they want me to do an MBA.

I've been working for four years now.
I can't go back to school.

If we have relatives over,
there's more to stress out about.

His son joined this place,
his son is working in that place.

They all have a service-class,
middle-class mentality.

That reminds me. I'm getting promoted.

-An increment?
-About 30 percent.

God's justice is delayed
and denied, as well.

I do the legwork and he gets promoted.

Better to have enemies
than a friend like you.

I'm a friend, but I'm human too.

It would hurt watching
someone like him get promoted.

Okay, fine. Congratulations.

Your increment is 3 0perent, right?
You're buying the drinks from today.

What do you mean, from today?
When do you ever pay?

Did you forget who paid
for the snacks day before yesterday?

Listen, I work hard for the money.
It's not dirty money, like yours.

You can get lost.

I won't spend a penny
of my dirty money on you.

You can use your
hard-earned money for liquor.

Yes. And don't let the loser
drive the car either.

Don't stress about that. I'll drive.

What does that have to do with the car?

It does. It's a hard-earned car.

Either me or Chauka will drive my car
after drinking.

Because he's a Sikh, almost.

Buddy, half a bottle
can't get the party going.

Shame on you.

We haven't even moved out of the pub yet.

The liquor will turn to water
if it hears you say that.

It's aged for 15 years
in some box in Europe.

And it doesn't even get
the party going here.

If you can't get drunk, have some water.
Why waste good money on it?

Listen, it's got to have the feel, okay?

Sure, order mineral water
for the right feel.

Why waste good liquor?

I tell the bartender

I'm on a high, all night

Keep repeating my order

Just keep giving me neat liquor

You can go home if you want to

Just do this for me

Just hand over the keys
Of the cabinet to me

Just give me the keys

It's a one on one with me and the liquor

No matter how much I hold back
It won't let me be

It's a one-on-one
With me and the liquor

No matter how much I hold back
It won't let me be

I just hate it

I am addicted to drink

Everyone tells me to quit

This is the work of the devil

Everyone drinks
We just drink a little more.

I just hate it

I am addicted to drink

Everyone tells me to quit

This is the work of the devil

Everyone will rise up

I won't give in

I will break the empty bottle

I won't turn away from a drink

My friend lives in this alley

People love it here

I am going to drink the bottle up

And still come back for more

It's a one on one
With me and the liquor

No matter how much I hold back
It won't let me be

Yes, I do drink

It's the worst thing to do

People just sip on wine

I drink till I lose my bearings

You can go home if you want to

Just do this for me

Just hand over the keys
Of the cabinet to me

It's a one on one
With me and the liquor

No matter how much I hold back
It won't let me be

It's a one on one
With me and the liquor

No matter how much I hold back
It won't let me be

Come on, buddy.

Have you lost it?

We have better things to do.

Come on, please, bro.
Aren't you my brother?

We just have to stay for an hour.
You can drink free liquor.

And you complain that
I don't get you drinks.

Yes, right. With uncle and aunt in tow.

So, what are they going to do?
I'll be drinking, too.

Come on, buddy.
What will I do alone at the wedding?

You'll shake it.

What are you both so busy with anyway?

We didn't say we're busy.

There'll be girls too.

What's the point of me
seeing girls from Meerut?

Imagine that they are from Delhi and look.

I'll pass. You carry on.

If you find someone, give her my number.

I'll come along.

But in his car. And I'm driving.

Are you insane?

Carry on with the torture.
See if I come along next time.

When it comes to you,
you just back off completely.

You're just acting pricey
since I asked nicely.

And you. Just park that car of yours
up your ass, okay?

Come on, bro. Please?

Chiku.

-Oh, my God.
-Your sister-in-law.

-Where are you going?
-To get me some Chiku.

I'm glad you dumped him.

What?

The one you met by mistake.

I'm not available now, is it?

There's no chance of that now.

Certainly not while I am alive.

So, when are you planning to die?

Right now. Almost there.

Cheers.

9-8-1-9-4-1-7-0-3-8.

I forget stuff when I drink.

I am not something you can forget.

What do you think? Will she forget?

Let's have a Patiala.

There she is.

Priyanka is coming too.

Priyanka.

Come on, make some for us too.

Supriya. Kamal.

Siddharth.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Varun.

-How do you want it?
-Half soda, half water.

Down the hatch. Hurry up.

Sister, your brother-in-law is insane

Sister, your brother-in-law is insane

Just look at him baiting the girls

Just look at him baiting the girls

Yes, mom?

I'm on the way.

No, I'm with Siddharth's...

I'm with Siddharth.

Yes, mom.

Bye. Okay.

I'm done. You can carry on.

Sorry?

Oh, no. You're misunderstanding.

I wasn't ogling at you.

The trainer isn't here. So he asked
me to keep an eye on your form.

So, how was my form?

Well, running was 8 on 10.

I mean, it's a sure thing that eloping...

Running isn't an issue at all.

Abs, almost nine on ten.

But I'd advise you
not to do that too much.

Yes, you could have a better back.

It's a 6 on 10 right now.

Especially at this young age.

You really need a strong back.

And squats and stretching? 10 on 10.

So, how do I get a ten on ten in all?

It's not too difficult.

I can work on you...
Your form until you get 10 on 10.

And what would you charge
for your services?

A coffee and a conversation?

Costa? 5:00.

Do you want to pretend
to have a conversation?

Or do you really want
to have a conversation?

How about 7:00? My place?

So, are you going
to tell me your name, or...

Tarun.

Kusum.

Here you are. Take a bitter mouthful.

Did you ever think it would come to this?

-What happened?
-He found a girl in Meerut.

Are they getting you married?

What do you mean by that?

I found her. And she asked for my number.

She wanted to recover his data.

That's just an excuse.

And why are you getting so jealous, loser?

You should be happy for me.

Forget about him.

You tell me. How did you score?

You won't believe it.
I was in great shape yesterday.

For a moment, I thought she was
ogling me more than I ogled her.

First I was boozing with the boys,
and she came with her friend.

Then, when I noticed her a bit,
she began to smile.

I met her even while I was dancing.

I mean, we danced to the wedding song
it was like a reel-life moment.

Did you ask her properly?

I hope she's not distantly
related in some way.

Desperate boys often slip up
like that in weddings.

You be quiet.

She's not related, okay?
She was coming to Noida.

So I said, you don't have to go alone.
I'll drop you home.

It's not safe.

Protection? So you did it from
the point of view of protection?

Then did you get her to tie a rakhi

and promise to protect her forever
like a brother?

Gogo, let it go. This is serious.

So, did you get the hard disk,
while you were at it?

Fuck you.
You're getting to be just like him.

You can't bear to see me happy.

It's not my fault you're not getting any.

The house seems like prison to me.

It's good I have Supriya now.

I was thinking, there's no point
in wasting time with you guys.

I remember all the stuff
dad used to say about you.

Listen, we are happy. Now tell me more.

Well, she's coming home at 4:00 p.m.

-To our house?
-Yes, loser. To our house.

The girl calls me up at 10:00 a.m.
in the morning.

She said, "Hi, this is Supriya.
Remember me, from last night?"

Supriya. Sounds so sweet just to say it.

It feels as if Lata has sung a ballad.

It feels, as if--

All right, zip it. It's a sweet name.

Don't get addicted to the sugar
or you'll get diabetes.

So, tell me. Did you get a call?

-Not yet.
-What call is he expecting?

He's not lagging too far behind.

He certainly gave his number.

Didn't he tell you?

I see, so that's it.

How can that loser tell me about it?

I already have a date
and he didn't even get a call.

No wonder. He's up early on a Sunday
and touching that phone

as if Katrina Kaif
is about to pop out of it.

That's why you're so jealous, loser.

You didn't get a call
and you're calling my girl my sister.

Listen, guys like you, who pass out
their numbers, are a dime a dozen.

Girls don't call up just like that.

You can take that from me in writing,
you won't get any calls.

-Hello?
-I was just checking.

-Are you dead yet?
-I was saved.

-By me?
-No. By Kiwi and Litchi.

Their names are Ruchi and Tina.

Those are really boring names.

I like a name like Chiku.

Full of juice. So juicy.

So what's your name? Fruity?

Anshul. Get it tattooed.

I've heard you're prone to forgetting.

Do you have dinner
or do you forget that too?

Le Bistro Du Parc?

-See you at 7:00?
-See you.

So, brothers.

There's no hard disk, there's no data.

No data recovery either.

When a boy and girl schedule
a meeting without any agenda,

it's called a date.

Awesome, my boy. You saved my image.

So, Chauka, you were
saying something to me.

Buddy, let's clean up quickly.

-Let's book you a ticket.
-For what?

He's going on a date too.
Obviously, you'll watch a movie.

Or are you going to be wandering
aimlessly outside the house?

I'm not going anywhere.

Clean this mess up,
and get out of here quietly.

Your sister-in-law
will be here at 4:00 p.m.

My date is at 7:00 p.m.
Why must I leave so early?

Gogo, don't kill me now.

Aren't you my brother? Don't I
clear out when you have company?

You would have to leave.

You seem to forget the lease
is in my name.

So that's what it's come to now.

You had to say that to me.

I called her over
since I thought it's my house too.

All right.

-I was mistaken.
-Hey, prick.

Cut the melodrama.

I'm leaving since you called me brother.

Leave for any reason, but just leave.

Then I'll tie you a rakhi
and get a tattoo saying

that you are my brother.

Hi. Come in.

Hi.

Really sorry the house is in such a mess.

Actually my friends stay with me,
I just stepped in, just now.

I see.

Will you have something?
'Cause this is going to take some time.

I can order a pizza.

I don't mind some water.

Sure, I'll get it.

-Please make yourself comfortable.
-Okay.

Water?

Can I touch it to my lips?

More?

-No, thanks.
-Okay.

So, you work at a call center?

-BPO.
-BPO.

-Cool.
-Yes.

Excuse me.

Happy anniversary, sir.

This is not mine.
Sorry you've got the wrong address.

-Mr. Siddharth?
-Yes?

It's for you, sir.

Happy Anniversary
to Mr. Siddharth and Miss Supriya.

It's not mine, buddy.
Why don't you just wait for a bit?

Listen, it's not mine.
I didn't place any order.

It's a gift for you, sir.

Listen, I told you.

Take this away. We don't want it.

It's paid for, sir. I can't take it back.

Motherfucker, did you order it?

Yes, what's the score, my brother?

Did you open the account yet?

Fucker, give the phone to Thakur.

-Two, please.
-Did sister-in-law like the flowers?

Thakur, what the hell is this?
You can't do stuff like that.

It's okay for us, why make the poor girl
feel uncomfortable?

Uncomfortable? Darn you,
you threw me out of my own house.

And you want her to feel comfortable?

Fuck off, you lot.

-"Fuck off."
-"Fuck off?"

Supriya, I'm really sorry. This...

My friends Gogo and Thakur
were just kidding...

It's okay.

Yes, brother. Is the ring tone all right?

Yes, it's fine.

Listen, just come back home.

Okay, enjoy yourself.
That was the last of it.

Oh, my. So, you told them that too?

Well, actually...

Are you going to give me some wine, or...

-Hi.
-Hey.

Thank you.

You're quite beautiful actually.

I mean, I know love at first sight
is a pretty useless concept.

But it's possible with you.

I'm not saying
that's happened to me though.

So, don't get me wrong.

But it could happen with you.

I am indeed beautiful.

How many hours did you think
and prepare to get that line right?

Why don't you hit me
with the line you rejected?

Okay, let's hear the one
which was the least bad.

You know, what was my
favorite fruit as a kid?

And?

You can't be here. You have to leave.

-Why?
-Outside eatables not allowed.

Ruchika. The name is Ruchika.

Oh, my God, that name is
a flashback to the '70s.

It's a nice name.

-Excuse me.
-Thanks.

Can you get me a naseberry soup?

Sorry, sir. We don't have that.

-Chiku salad?
-Sorry, sir.

-I'm sure you have some chiku halwa.
-Sorry, sir.

If I knew you're an engineer,

I promise you,
you wouldn't have stood a chance.

Nobody is as boring as an engineer.

Give us engineers one chance and see.

No. Engineers are boring.

Well, at least you don't
look like an engineer.

Why? What do engineers look like?

Like uncles.

Like your uncle?

No, just middle-aged men in general.

Okay, how much do I owe you for the wine?

It's okay.

No, Tarun, it's not okay.

How much for that?

And this is not boring?

It's non-negotiable for me.

I'll take it.

Let me salvage the image
of the engineers first.

What's so interesting about you?

The machines of my heart are in motion

Now that I have seen her branded walk

All my wicked, lazy desires

Are excited by the glow on her face

The machines of my heart are in motion

Now that I have seen her branded walk

All my wicked, lazy desires

Are excited by the glow on her face

All the girls, and so many of them around

Yet I've given up chasing them

Let the word get out
Fill the pages of newspapers

With all the writeups

The loverboys' hearts

Now belong to Paro

The loverboys' hearts

Now belong to Paro

Paro in the town

Her shiny stole is sheer poison
While her eyes are brown

Paro's tattoo shimmers

It's a piece of diamond

You look full-on desi, my love

But you've got an international attitude

Paro's tattoo shimmers

It's a piece of diamond

You look full-on desi, my love

But you've got an international attitude

Take a little break and look into my eyes

I am a fan of your charms

The fever is rising and getting worse

Now the loverboys are afflicted with love

The loverboys' hearts

The loverboys' hearts

Now belong to Paro

The loverboys' hearts

Now belong to Paro

Good morning.

It's certainly good for you.

-What's the matter with him?
-He's going to meet his mother-in-law.

When did that happen?

Loser, you have to leave the room
to know what happened.

-Did she inform the family?
-I guess she'll tell them today.

Or who knows?
She may have already told them.

She said she wants me to meet her parents.

When are you going to tell your family?

I will have to do that soon.

Who knows?
Aunt might bring up the marriage topic.

Besides, her family is
rather old fashioned.

There are no issues at my place. But...

Yes, right.
Why should you have any issues?

It's not as if you listen to anyone.

You can just send your dad an invite.

So what about your kitty party?

Tonight. But I'm leaving now.

I have to take Chiku and Ruchi
to the nail spa.

Are you going to apply nail polish there?

The lady is sleeping.

-Did you make the tea, Mr. Thakur?
-He did.

-Good morning, baby.
-Good morning.

And we drank it too.

So we're leaving.

Wait up. Where are you going?

Sit.

He's going to Ruchi's birthday party.

And he is going to meet his mother-in-law.

-Really?
-No, I'm just meeting her casually.

Let's all meet once.

I mean, us, Chiku, Supriya.

I also want to meet them.

Yes, of course.

Let's have dinner tomorrow
after the match.

I was just telling Tarun.

Yes.

Let's go.

Bye.

Just see to the rent. Sharma called up.

I'll pay tomorrow.

Don't you all split?

-The rent? We do.
-Yes.

I mean, we don't do the math
for every little thing, but...

I just think every little thing
may seem trivial,

but food, petrol, electricity,

all of that just adds up, right?

Don't worry about it.

It's open.

-Hello, aunt.
-Hello.

Hey.

Come in, Siddharth.

Aunt.

-What is this?
-What is what?

You should've brought along
the wedding procession.

-What do you mean?
-Why are you all dolled up?

Supriya, you told me to come
home to meet your parents.

Siddharth, I said come home.

If my parents are around,
you can meet them too.

-What do you mean?
-Siddharth.

You're here like any of my other friends.

As a friend.

-I thought--
-Siddharth, please understand.

I can't take the risk of them saying no.

I want them to get to know you first.

They should start liking you.

Then I will tell them at the right time.

Yes.

Come along, meet my friends.

-That's Siddharth.
-Hey, hi.

I'm waiting in the car.
I won't wait on the road.

Do you see a white pillar?

-Keep moving.
-Just a moment, sir.

-Why do you need a moment?
-She'll be here.

-Who's coming here?
-Look at her. There she is.

-I can't see you.
-The fat lady, the ugly kid.

Okay, I see you.

There she comes.

Where is she going?

Gogo, tell me. Whose nails are better?

Gogo?

Cheating.

Gogo?

-Look at them.
-Chiku, they're nice.

Really?

I hate them.
I specifically told her periwinkle.

She ruined my style on purpose.

But she said it'll look better
when it dries up.

No, it won't. I'm a 110 percent sure
it just won't happen.

See, Gogo? Do you think this
will match periwinkle blue?

Chiku, where's my phone?

-I don't know.
-Oh, no!

-Give me a call.
-Check your bags.

-My nails are wet, Gogo.
-Her nails are wet, Gogo.

No, no, no.

-Tina.
-Tina.

My bag.

Gogo, you check.

-Take a look.
-Make a call.

-Yes, Chiku.
-Make the call.

-Make the call.
-Chiku.

What's happening?

It's ringing.

It must be on silent mode.

It's not vibrating either.

It's in silent mode, Gogo. Let's go back.

Chiku, I'm going to stop for a bit
and check.

No, I'm sure I left it back there.
Let's go back.

-Gogo, let's turn back.
-Yes, Chiku.

-Gogo, turn back.
-Yes, Chiku, I need to get to a U-turn.

We need to get to a U-turn.

When is the U-turn expected to turn up?

Where's everybody else?

-Aunt, Arjun has a shift.
-I see.

-Uncle, this is Siddharth.
-Hello, uncle.

I haven't seen you before.

-Uncle, I--
-Uncle, he doesn't have any time.

We keep asking him to meet up.

What do you do, son?

I work in TCS, as a software engineer.

He repaired sister's hard drive
from the wedding.

Really? Thank you.

We were worried about that.

Your printer is not working either, right?

-Can you take a look, son?
-Yes, aunt.

Right now?

-Eat your food, first.
-Okay.

-The rice, son?
-No, that's enough, thank you.

Pass me the rice.
Supriya's dad will eat some.

Don't you think, when uncle
and aunt will find out later,

they will be all the more upset
that you lied?

Siddharth. I know my parents.

It's difficult for them to accept
that I'm dating someone.

Specially for dad.

My family isn't like your family.

If dad finds out, I'm doomed.

I will have to quit working
and socializing.

Do you trust me?

Absolutely.

-Happy Birthday!
-Hey.

-Baby.
-It's my...

What happened?

No one loves me.

I love you, Tina. I love you.

I also love you, right?

Tina, I love you.

See? Anshu also loves you.

I love you too.

-I'll drive.
-Yes, Tina will drive.

Baby. Baby.

-Anshul, let's go.
-Baby, she's drunk.

-I'm not drunk.
-Come, no...

Do you think I'm drunk? I'm not drunk.

I love being a queen.

-Dance. It's her birthday.
-Yeah.

Watch it, watch the side...

-Sunny.
-Sunny.

Happy Birthday, Ruchi.

-Thank you.
-Sunny, say hi to Anshu.

-Hi, Anshu.
-Hi, Sunny.

-No, no, no...
-Go, go, go...

No!

-Hi.
-Hello.

You're shameless. Four overs are done.

Don't blame him, Sid.
We got held up at the car garage.

See?

He retired.

-Yeah, Gogo?
-Yeah, baby.

-What happened?
-Sachin retired.

-What about the car?
-Nothing much. Just a bit--

You won't believe what happened yesterday.

Tina was so drunk
she completely passed out.

And when Tina drinks drinks,
then I don't think anyone can stop her.

Right, Gogo?

Yes.

Then what?

Then Tina wanted to drive.

-She said, "Give me the keys."
-Then what?

Then Gogo couldn't refuse.

I mean, it was Ruchi's birthday.
And we were all so high.

Right, Gogo?

-Yes, since it was her birthday, so...
-Yes.

You won't believe how fast we drove.

-Really?
-We touched 110, I think.

Or was it 120, Gogo?

It was around 70, I think.

No, Gogo. How would you know?
We were in the back seat.

Tina told me it was 120.

But, Sid, despite how fast we were going
nothing happened.

-And do you know when we crashed?
-When, Gogo?

While parking.

I mean, isn't that hilarious?

Nothing happened the whole way
and we crashed while parking.

How stupid.

Very stupid.

Yeah. Match.

Four runs!

Four runs!

Four runs!

Four runs!

-Four runs!
-Yes.

All right, they'll win easily.

I'll see you tonight?

-Where?
-At the club.

Tina told you in the morning.

Aren't we all going for dinner today?
I told you, remember?

Yeah, right. I forgot.

Cool. See you guys.

-I'll drop you.
-No.

I have a driver.

-Bye.
-I could still drop you.

She'll go, Gogo.

See you.

Motherfucker, you don't let me so much
as touch the keys after drinking.

And Tina was burning the tires
at 120 since it was Ruchi's birthday.

While you were romancing in the back seat.

He can let drunk women drive the car.

But even if I have a hangover,
I take a rickshaw.

He doesn't care for anyone.

I tell you, let's pack his stuff up

and toss him out of our house
at this very moment.

What's your problem, fool?
He lets you drive it.

And "our house"?
You seem to forget I signed the lease.

Loser, I am not fighting for myself.
I'm not selfish like you.

I am fighting for the rights of all
friends who have friends like him.

But you won't get it.
You're useless, loser.

He's totally pathetic, man.

If a man can be late for
an India-Pakistan match, he's lost to us.

Look at me. On principle,
I haven't missed a single toss.

The world may turn topsy turvy.

Some rules in your life
aren't broken for anyone.

It may be your parents,
your boss, the best of friends--

Yes, Supriya?

Yes, Supriya.

Yes, Supriya.

Yes, Supriya.

Supriya and her mom want
to go to Gaffar Market.

They want to buy a printer.

Six runs!

Yes.

Yes, Siddharth chose a printer.

It's nice.

It's the perfect price. Should I buy it?

All right.

-Please pack this.
-Okay, ma'am.

Shall we leave, aunt?

Yes, there is a dress shop next door.
Let's go there.

Who does she think she is?

-Shall we go?
-Already?

Let's have another round of the same.

I have a shift actually.

Call center?

BPO.

Just let it go.

What do you mean by that?
What is she trying to prove?

That we're all cheap?

I didn't say anything, because of you
and your equation with Tarun.

Otherwise, I'd buy the restaurant
and hit her in the face with it.

Witch.

We're splitting, right?

It's okay.

No, Tarun, it's not okay.

We'll split. It's not on you.

I'll take it later from you.

Here.

It's okay.

I'll let Gogo and Chauka
know about each one's share.

Right.

-Why did you have to do that?
-What do you mean?

Why are you getting into it?

Gogo, Chauka, and I
have our own thing going.

And why are you even
getting into money matters?

Why? Because I'm a girl...

that's why I'm not supposed
to get into money matters?

I don't agree with it.

I did what I thought was right.

Yes, you could have done that later.

Why did you involve everyone in it?

I didn't involve everyone.

I said, I'm splitting.

Now, it's on them if they felt guilty
and got their cards out after I said it.

That's bound to happen
if you insult everyone.

Who did I insult?

I did what I always do.

And I won't be apologetic about it.

You know this has always mattered to me.

It's non negotiable for me.

I am not forcing anyone.

But I will not participate
in this exploitation

in the name of friendship.

And if you have a problem with it,
then fine.

I won't go out with your friends.
Anyways I barely know them.

-Kusum...
-Just decide.

Am I the kind of girl you want
in your life who speaks her mind?

Or am I too uncomfortable for your world?

Call me when you're sure.

Thakur, come in, Thakur.

Thakur.

Yes.

What did the lady say?

What did Chiku say?

She said she'd buy the restaurant
and hit her in the face with it.

You whine over the cost
of a plate of snacks, fool.

Supriya seemed quite upset.

That's just the way she looks.

Don't worry so much.

She is new to our lives.

She'll need some time to figure it out.

Those who really care say things
that make people uncomfortable.

Otherwise, why should she care?

Girls have to feel that their boyfriends
support their ways and methods.

Take the call, support her.

I'll do it later, fool.

It's not like you.
We have an understanding.

We understand each other
without a word being said.

Thanks for not picking up my phone.

I've understood,
I will never bother you again. Bye.

Over and out.

Understood what?

Anshu, I've realized.

Chiku, what have you realized?

-That I am better off alone.
-What?

Anshu, no. I've decided.

Decided what, baby?

That I don't need you all.

I can be happy alone, I don't need anyone.

Chiku, baby.

You all think I'm dependent on you all.

That I won't be able to live
without any of you.

But you're so wrong.
I don't need any one of you.

At least tell me what happened?

I clearly told Ruchi
we can't go out clubbing today.

That we can go tomorrow.

So, how is that my fault?

Did you ask me before making
the dinner plan "with Kusum"?

-But I told you, right?
-See? You told me.

Why should I live my life
according to you.

Why should I snuff out every one
of my wishes for all of you?

I wanted to go clubbing
and they went without me.

I didn't want to go out for dinner.
But I had to go for Kusum.

I went there and was told
me and my boyfriend are cheap.

I am sorry, baby.

Of course, you can't live
your life for anyone else.

-Who's it?
-Ruchi.

Do not pick her call.

-Chiku.
-You want to take her call?

Fine, you go to her.

Don't even mention that witch.
She ruined your mood.

I don't even want to look at her.

Damn right, you won't.
I won't speak to her and neither will you.

You know what? Text her.

Text her, right now.

"What you did today..." No.

After the way you treated Chiku today...
don't ever expect me to talk to you again.

Ever. Like, never. Ever, ever.

Text that, Gogo.

-Sent.
-Good.

The dinner bill.

Please pay it on time,
it's a non-negotiable.

-Yes, Supriya?
-It's mom's birthday today.

Buy a cake.

-Pick me up after the shift.
-Yes, Supriya.

Your mom's birthday.

Wish her first, in the morning.
Don't forget. Save a reminder.

I thought I'd come up now--

It will look odd
if you come up at this time.

Pink? Pink, pink, pink, pink, pink.

No, Anshu. Concentrate.

Salmon pink, old rose pink,

carnation pink, hot pink, magenta.

Come, now we'll choose reds.

Looks nice, right?

-Hey, what's the matter?
-It's too expensive.

Tarun, I told you
I didn't want you to buy it.

Can't I get you a gift?

Promise me, no expensive gifts after this?

Yes, sure.

So, is it done?

Yes, uncle. Almost done.

-What is it?
-Nothing.

-Hi!
-Is the patch up done?

You tried to make sure it didn't happen,
but it is done.

Let's go out.

Your choice. It'll be my treat.

Don't forget to take it from me.

Why don't you buy a new one?

I'm saving up for an iPhone.

I just have to use this
for a couple of months.

Tarun, I am not taking this. Seriously.

-Gray or silver, sir?
-Gold.

When will you tell them?

I will tell them when the time is right.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

Yeah, baby.

You were just waiting to drop me
and go back to your friends, right?

Yeah, baby-- No, baby.

It's been two hours
since you dropped me home.

You still haven't called me.

-Yeah, baby.
-No, baby.

You know, sometimes I feel
one must have a credit card.

What if you need cash suddenly?
What if you have to buy something online?

I've applied twice. I just can't get it.

I can get you an add on on my card.

No.

Seriously, no.

-Yes, uncle.
-I hit the one billion lottery.

-I got an email.
-A one billion lottery?

Who sent you the email?

It's from Coco Cola, Germany.

Uncle, actually that's a scam.
Everyone gets that.

What do you mean by that?

-I got it, there must be something to it.
-Right, uncle.

-Come home at once.
-Yes, right away, uncle.

I told my mom about us.

She likes you.

What are you trying to tell me
by saying that?

-I am just telling you that I told mom--
-Do you know how guilty I feel?

You think I don't want to tell them.

I never said that.

Do you trust me?

Isn't this dress a bit too revealing?

Typical boyfriend.

Anshu, please. I know you think I'm dumb.

But just because you're my boyfriend
doesn't mean

that you are going
to teach me how to dress.

Such a rip off.
I told you, it's unnecessarily overpriced.

And the food's so not worth it.

Next time you want to burn up some cash,
give it to me.

I'll make better food at home.

Anshu, your facebook
status is still single.

You don't want to tell people
you're with me?

I don't even remember the last time
I logged in on Facebook,

and you're talking about my status.

It's just... Chiku's status is committed,
in a relationship,

and your status is single.

Don't you think it's weird?

-It is.
-It is?

Don't you know we are together?

Yes, but what's the problem
with changing the status?

Tell me the password.

Let me login.

You don't trust Chiku?

Don't ask again.

D-O-N-'T...

ask again.

So, guys,
the demo for the next sale is on.

They are coming over at 7:30 p.m.
tomorrow evening.

Check the UI thoroughly
one last time in the morning.

Okay?

Tarun, it will be really great for us
if you could attend this meeting.

Even after office hours.

Yeah.

-Hello?
-Good morning.

-Urgent?
-What?

Is it something urgent?

-I mean, I just--
-I'll call you back later.

-What are you doing?
-Come in.

Sit down.

Look at this.

I want to make a site.

For this, too.

Uncle, we have to create a profile
after signing up.

-Then, do it.
-For whom?

For her.

For Supriya, who else do you think?

Hi. When did you arrive?

Dad called him.

We wanted to check the matrimonial
website on the Internet.

Father's name. You know that.

Height?

5'6".

Put that in.

And weight?

Fifty-eight.

Put that in.

-Complexion?
-Fair.

No, very fair.

Drink, no. Smoke, no.

The profile is ready.
Start looking for boys.

I was going to tell you.

But you thought I'm not ready.

Siddharth, please.
Don't stress me out anymore right now.

Seriously? I find out from
your parents, just by chance,

that they are scouting for boys for you
and you are stressed.

I am 25.

At this age,
all the parents start looking.

And it's not like they
know I have a boyfriend.

-They are bound to look, right?
-What does that mean?

They aren't going know
unless someone tells them.

I know, Siddharth, but...

the point is that it is complicated now.

How can I tell them suddenly
after you've become so close to them?

They'll feel cheated.

Now, they'll feel worse thinking
you always had bad intentions.

What is that supposed to mean?

I want to marry you.

Since when is that a bad intention?

Siddharth, you may or may not believe it,
but I want to marry you, too.

Supriya.

I'll be there.

I was calling you.

Anything urgent?

Baby, I was a bit stressed out
due to work at the time.

Yes.

The boss is hounding me these days.

Tarun, that's what a boss is meant to do.

At least you should have listened to me.

I'm sorry.

-It was something urgent.
-What was it?

It's done now.

Okay, but what was it?

What can you do about it now?
It's all done.

Still, tell me.

Why?

You want to know
since you don't believe it was urgent.

No. Anyways, forget about it.
It's done, right? So why the fuss?

No, Tarun. That's not the point.

You always act as if you
are the only one who works.

Kusum, they pay me 300,000 a month.

-You don't--
-Okay, so say what you mean.

Your job is more important
since you earn more than me.

What about me? I earn just 50,000.

So, of course, I can spare time for you.

My work doesn't really matter.

Baby, all I am saying is,
the higher the salary,

the more employers expect from you.

I am doing this for both of us.

But I can't help it. I'm under pressure.

On top of that, my boss doesn't like me.

I'm just sick of this job.

Then why are you doing it? Quit.

It's not like I haven't thought of it.

But it's not so easy.

We need it.

And we have to plan a lot.

I am doing that.

But it will take some time.

I've planned to start something on my own.

But first I have to set up the base.
I have to create financial security.

-Hi.
-Who's Neha?

She was my ex-girlfriend.

We never discussed her,
so there was nothing to tell.

I never thought about deleting the mails.

So, do you still read them?

Here, let me delete them.

All done? Happy, now?

Happy? I'm not that shallow.

So, this is why you
didn't change your status.

As long as she's "single",
you can't change your own status.

You've already changed it.
And you logged into my mail, too.

You know it's not right.
Did I say anything about it?

Logging in is such a cardinal sin.

We aren't even talking about
what I found after logging in.

I'm so sorry.

Please change your password.

Change it for Gmail too.

You'll have to change it
for Skype, Yahoo, everything.

Neha, what is this--

Did you just call me Neha?

What?

What did you just say?

I said the topic about Neha
is done, right?

Don't you lie to me.

You stored those lousy mails,
you called me Neha.

And then you're lying to me.

Baby, I just mixed up two
sentences in a hurry, I swear.

It was just a casual
relationship with her.

You're so insensitive.

No wonder she left you.

Chiku, she didn't leave me.

We had a--

Why are we talking about her?

Do you still miss her?

What do you want from me?
Should I get her to talk to you?

I'm sorry I dated someone else before you.

I didn't know that I was going
to date Chiku at some point.

If I knew,
I wouldn't have dated anyone else.

How many other girlfriends are
you in touch with on Facebook?

And we are back.

There is no one else.

Neha and I aren't in touch either.

Please, trust me.

Don't you talk to me about trust.

I found the mails in your account,
and you called me Neha.

Baby, why don't you
just delete my account?

Yes, so you can reactivate it
in case we break up.

How did you manage to make this
about our breakup?

Since when is Facebook so important?

Post your picture on my profile.

Send yourself public messages
from my account

about how much I love you.

Why are you so bothered
about a casual relationship?

Do you think I'm that desperate?

You're going to say that about me
to your next girlfriend, right?

"Casual relationship"?
"I was just having fun"?

Baby, I love you.

And how will I say it since
there won't be anyone after you?

Because I am not going to let you go.

Do you even know why I called you?

It was because of Neha.

No. See? That's what you think of me.

I called because

Ruchi is going home for two weeks.

So the house is going to be empty.

You can come and live with me,
if you wish.

But now, I think I'm going to ask Tina.

No, baby, why call Tina? I'm still around.

No, Gogo. Just let it be.

Don't do this, Chiku.

I'm sorry, Chiku. I love you, baby.

Do you know,
I've prayed so hard for this very day?

I wanted Ruchi to go home.
I made so many plans.

Just like girls plan for their honeymoon.
Exactly like that.

You can't survive
without Chauka and Thakur.

-Without whom?
-Chauka and Thakur.

Chauka and Thakur who?

Yes.

I just hope those idiots hate me.

Which fools? The three fools?

-The boy's family.
-Which boy's family?

The people who came home on Sunday.

I told dad how much I hated--

The boy's family came to meet you?

The boy's parents came over.
It was a first meeting.

Are you kidding me?

Why did you tell me so soon?
Why not on the wedding day?

-Well, I did tell you.
-After meeting them.

Siddharth, I told you myself.
I could have hidden this from you.

Besides, you don't have to behave
as if you don't know anything.

How would I know?

-Who created the profile?
-Your dad made me do it.

Dad is looking at profiles.

Obviously the boy's family
is going to come to meet me.

What is so astounding about that?

So, do the horoscopes match?

The wedding date is set
and the invites have been printed.

It's just a different boy.

Don't worry.
You can officiate as the priest.

What's all this about
waiting for the perfect time?

Is she going to release a rocket to Mars?

Is she consulting an astrologer
about when to tell her family?

Should I call the astrologer
and have an oblation?

What's wrong?

Seriously, don't they get it?

I mean, I'm a young boy with a good job.

I've quit boozing and my friends
to languish at home.

Obviously, it's for their daughter.

Why else would I want to
change bulbs and mend printers?

It's not as if he's Bill Gates
and I love grocery shopping for him.

What do I get out of it? I have parents,
they have birthdays.

Do they, by some chance, feel that

an orphan child is looking
for his parents through them?

No, come on. Once uncle even asked me
about my dad's profession.

I figured I hit the jackpot.

Then he tells me,
"If your dad needs insurance let me know.

I have a friend who is an agent."

So, even if I go ahead and say it,

"Uncle, Supriya and I are
going to elope," he won't listen.

He will say, "Really?
Pay the power bill, as you leave."

-Is the Tata website not working?
-What?

The power website.

Fucker, it's an expression.
It's a figure of speech.

He's not actually going to say that.

Who's listening to you anyway?
Both my cards were declined.

How should I know?
Check the statement, fucker.

Am I under contract to do
odd jobs for everyone?

I never paid a bill in my own house,
and all of you have turned me into a maid.

All that's left is cleaning loos,
soon they'll ask me to do that too.

"Sid, the maid hasn't come home.
Can you come over?

Listen, pick up some toilet cleaner
on the way. Son, son, son..."

This says it's maxed out.

The second one is maxed out, too.

You never know
where money goes these days.

Go out for dinner
and you spend 2,000 to 2,500 easily.

In that case, I have to have dinner
thrice a day to max out my card.

What's the limit?

Both together amount to 620,000.

Hey, kiddo. Did you break the bed,
or just your back?

Don't ask.

My will is shattered.

Cry. Let it all out.

It's a night for tears.

I went there thrilled to bits.

I thought I'd give Chiku a tiny surprise.

Catch me.

Anshu, what are you doing?

Sunny.

I thought you'd catch me.

My cutie pie fell down.

Where does it hurt?

That bitch.

-Who?
-Shruti.

Who?

Sunny's girlfriend, Anshu. Ex.

I just don't get it.
How can any girl leave Sunny?

He's been crying for two weeks straight.

Since his parents were worried
in Chandigarh, he came to Delhi.

He checked into a hotel
since Tina told him of our plan.

I said, "Are you insane?"

Me and Anshu can do this anytime.

Should we take care of him or have fun?

I dragged him out of there
and got him to check out.

How can I leave him alone
when he needs a friend, right?

Right.

I knew you'll understand.

Okay, listen.

I don't think your being here
will help him.

You saw it, right?

You and I will only remind him
of him and Shruti.

-I love you.
-I love you, too.

So, let's say Chiku is your "want"
and Sunny's "need."

So, technically, this is all right.

How can girls manage to
have boys for best friends?

Have you ever heard of me
being a girl's best friend?

Or does Thakur have a female BFF
he chatters with on the phone?

Who are these boys we don't see?

Where do they hide? When do they meet?
What do they do?

I mean, look at a boy and tell me
how can he become a girl's best friend?

They look like us and move amongst us too.

All it takes is just one heartbreak.

After that they cry like girls.

Then the girls feel sorry for them.

Then, sympathy, empathy, and sensitivity.

They become girls and cling to the girls.

-Babes, I was thinking
-Yes?

I simply hate seeing you do
something you don't want to.

-Yes?
-But I understand.

So I've got a plan.

We're going to start saving, okay?

-Yes?
-Tomorrow I'm opening us a joint account.

We will save 20% of our
salaries in it every month.

And this we won't touch at all, okay?

-Yes.
-This is like our future money.

Like our first step
towards our future, okay?

Good plan, baby.

Isn't it? I knew it.
Okay, I'll talk to you later.

I'll do some research on which
bank offers the best interest rate.

Good night, baby, love you.

I know what 20% from you would be.
What about her?

Twenty percent of my 20%.

A man's mind is meant to absorb
the knowledge of the world.

But some fools use it
to absorb a woman's nonsense.

If you squeeze the mind of a man
in a relationship, and then look at it,

you will find a bucketful of nonsense.
So much nonsense

that it is enough to make you sick.
In fact, very sick.

My name is Chauka.

I have been in a relationship
for the past year.

I have lost my mind ever since
I have been in a relationship.

I have stopped breathing.

I don't think I can live for too long.

You know, Tarun, we were
discussing something serious.

But I don't think he heard a word.

He was just staring at me all the time.

I was so frustrated. I was like,
"At least listen to me first.

Then I'll stand up for five minutes
and you can get an eyeful."

Don't forget to take it from me.

You know, they use organic veggies.
It's really good for health.

I think we should start that at home too.

I mean, they're a bit expensive,

but so much healthier
and, like, more natural.

What's on your mind?

Kusum, I have decided.
I am quitting my job.

I've thought a lot about it.

There will never be a right time.
This is the time.

The later it gets, the more
I'll get caught up in all of it.

Then it will be very difficult
to get out of it.

And the market's right.
I have a good feeling about this.

We will have a bit of a money crunch
for the first few months.

Nothing too serious.
I have planned for it.

But from now on,
let's control our expenses.

We can cut back on everything, you know.

You think I should take the metro to work?

What? Why?

No, I just thought, it's not that bad.
A lot of people travel by it.

I'm talking about the extra expenditure.

How much can you save on traveling?

Yeah.

Yes. You're right.

Tarun, I am going to make a budget.

And we'll spend strictly
according to that for everything.

Big, small, food, petrol, everything.

In fact, let's forget about
the organic stuff for now.

Let's eat normal food.
We have been doing that so far.

And these people? Rs. 600 for a salad.

Waste of money.

I'm not talking about this.

Shut up, Tarun.

You're not alone in this.

I'm doing it because I want to.

I'm doing it for us.

Hey.

Now you look like my Sunny.

It's a one-day match, right?

Not live. Sachin's greatest innings show.

-Change it.
-Do it.

Good evening and welcome to Comedy Nights.

Sir?

Anyways Sachin is overrated.

Yes, Sunny doesn't like Sachin.
Right, Sunny?

The fool plays only for himself.

What are you saying? Look at his record.

Yes, he has so many hundreds.

But India never wins
when he scores a hundred.

Never? I mean, check the record.

I also don't like Sachin. I like Kohli.

If you guys going to sit together
by yourselves,

I'll go to the market
and get some vegetables.

-Baby, sugar?
-One spoon.

Thank you, sweetie.

You're up shit creek without a paddle.

Tell me.

Which color?

-No.
-Tell me.

Pink.

Baby pink, or...

Liar. It's got an orange strap.

Be quiet, Sunny.
You're not supposed to listen.

You should be sulking.

What will it take for you sit quietly?

It's been an hour.

She said she'd tell him she's not
interested in marriage in ten minutes.

Does it take so long
to say one little thing?

Two hours. You said it would take
15 minutes when you brought me here.

My girlfriend is at a coffee shop,
while I sit 20 feet away,

watching her arrange her wedding,
and you are the one whining.

Fool, I'm sitting here with you,

while my girlfriend is
watching a movie with Sunny.

I even booked the tickets for the show.

The rascal can go for movies and dinner.

Doesn't he see other couples out there?

But when he sees me and Chiku,
he acts as if

he'll drown in his sorrows and die.

And the next time we go
husband hunting for your girlfriend,

let's find an AC joint.

Talk to Chiku and convince her.

Wow. I swear you should be
the Love Guru on the radio.

You're paying for this one, fool.

Why? Won't you pay for the muffin
you stuffed down your throat?

Sorry, you even pay
for Sunny's diapers now.

-Fuck off.
-Why didn't you get the finger bowl?

Which coffee shops hand out finger bowls?

This one will hand them out from today.

No.

I think the horoscopes match.

It appears all aspects are in harmony.

She looks so happy.

Now she's going to leave
only after planning their family.

What the fuck is this?
How does this look like a rejection?

Where are they off to?

She texted, "Pankaj will drop me home.
Don't wait for me."

Motherfucker. What kind
of a name is Pankaj?

It sounds fine to me.

He asked me where I was headed.
I told him I'm going home.

So he said, "Come, I'll drop you."

Tell me, what was I going to say?

"No, it's fine. I'll manage."

He wasn't bad, you know?

He was educated in the US,
he's settled down over there.

He's ideal husband material.

What do you think about him?

Siddharth? What's the matter?

-Supriya.
-Siddharth...

You have to trust me.

Honestly, right now I don't.

-What is the matter?
-The matter is that I'm a dumbass.

I make a girl's matrimonial profile.
I go to meet her future husband with her.

Just chill. She's just meeting the boy.

It's not as if that implies
she is going to marry him.

If she can leave you high and dry
while dating you,

give her enough credit
to do that to the other boy.

Fuck, she can do whatever she wants.
I don't want anymore coffee.

I don't like coffee.
Why should I drink coffee?

Pankaj wants to meet the girl
where he likes.

Why should I spend my money
to drink coffee?

Your money, fool?

What kind of a name is Pankaj?

Thakur, I was thinking

about taking Chiku on a vacation
somewhere abroad next weekend.

Take her or send her with Sunny?

You guys bring Supriya and Kusum
along too.

It will be like a relationship-spa
type of thing.

Yeah, dumbass. I'm quitting my job
and you want to go abroad.

That too with the girls in tow.

My girl is loaded.
And she has her own credit card.

And in case you boys forgot,

this is the first first date anniversary
for all of us.

Oh, my. Calendar boy,
you're rocking the kitty party now.

Fool, I'm just reminding you.

Or I'm going to be the one
patching you up when you take a hit.

That's not a bad idea.

It'll be a two-day break
from the family circus.

Where can we go?

Anywhere. Let's ask the ladies
about the rest.

Are you insane?

They might just plan their own holidays.

They may end up going
to three separate locations.

I'll talk to Supriya about a vacation.

We have a good rapport.

And sisters-in-law listen
to their brothers-in-law.

Baby, Gogo and Chauka are planning
a holiday with Chiku and Supriya.

I think we are frustrated since
we don't get quality time together.

Okay, how's Sunny doing now?
Still depressed?

You know these things take time, right?
But he's better than before.

You know, he's coming with me
to the gym also.

Really?

I know you've been saying
I can't spare any time for you.

And I know you're right.

Baby, she is going to be with Thakur.

We decided that once we get there,
we are going to stay apart.

It's been so long
since we spent any time together.

And now that Sunny
is also feeling better...

And it's our first
first date anniversary too.

And I really wanted our
first one to be extra special.

How could you imagine that I would forget?

Of course, baby. We so need a holiday.

-Where are we going?
-Let's go to Krabi. Done.

Let me write a story about myself

Surreptitiously on your body

I'll hide away your shadow

Then the world can search for us

I've given up everything
To ask for you

I've given up everything
To ask for you

I don't belong to myself anymore

My love, you're my love

My love, you're my love

My love, you're my love

My love, you're my love

To lose myself in your dreams

That's how much I love you

I could be part of your story

If you just say the word

I've forgotten everything
To be with you

I've forgotten everything
To be with you

You are my passion

My love, you're my love

My love, you're my love

My love, you're my love

My love, you're my love

-Kusum.
-Yes?

I've given my notice at the office.

What do you mean?

I mean I am going to quit my job.

Already?

Yes, I told you, right?

What is it?

You made it sound like you
would quit after some months.

I didn't make it sound like anything.

Don't I get to have any say in this?

Of course, you have a say in it, Kusum.

Then wait. Don't do it.

I've already handed in my notice.

So I don't have a say.

Siddharth, what is it?

Do you seriously expect me to answer that?

I took you along with me to meet him.

I tell you everything that I do.

I lied to my parents
to come here with you.

And I am sitting with you right now.

But you have ignored all of that
and all you can see is

that he sent me a text.

Sunny, wait a moment.

Anshu, say hi to Sunny.

Hi.

Happy first first date anniversary, buddy.

-Did you eat?
-Yeah.

-Did you go to the gym?
-Yeah.

Pretty chicks?

Did you meet Tina?

You knew I'm planning my website.

I told you I'm quitting my job.

-You could have told me then, that I--
-Where's the plan?

Where is the model? Where is the research?

Some ground work has been done.

And that's why I handed in my notice.
I will do all of that now.

So this isn't called a plan.
Are you going to plan now?

And anyways do whatever you want.

But don't ask me when my opinion
obviously doesn't matter.

Why did you tell me to save money?

Why did you tell me to make a budget?

-Why did you tell me to monitor expenses?
-You wanted to do that.

Right.

I am your assistant, right?

Please?

It's our first holiday.

Let's not spoil it.

Siddharth.

I know we are on a holiday.

And it's the first time
we are staying together.

But I don't want to do some things yet.

You know?

No, I don't know.

What are you saying?

It's not as if we are marrying
after four years. We can wait.

-You, again...
-I'm just being polite.

Should I start ignoring it?

No. Carry on with the texting.

Siddharth.

This is not gossip, Sunny.

Come on. It's Tina. This is...

Mute it for a moment.

Hold on one second.

When are we going for lunch?
We're quite late.

Let's order in.

This is why we came here on a holiday.

So we could spend some time together.

If we had to have
an anniversary lunch with Sunny

we could have stayed back there.

Anshu. It's Sunny. He's my best friend.

And me? Who am I?

-Sunny, wait one second.
-I thought you had...

Why will I mute it?

What's wrong if he hears it?

Sunny, be quiet for one moment.

Un-freaking-believable.

I told you to wait.

Sisters-in-law listen to brothers-in-law.

Tell me, if he was talking
to you on a holiday like this,

would I mind? Tell me.

You here just now, right?

Do you think, I would refuse to let
him go with you if he were here?

He sent me ten text messages.
Then I reply to one.

You tell me. Should I ignore him?

What if dad finds out?
Won't he get suspicious?

I'm just worried about him.

I will help him.

There's you, there's Chauka.

I really think
he's taking a hasty decision.

I never enjoyed watching the match.

I could see that you knew that even then.

Only Anshu and Tarun didn't know.

So, I sat through India's
batting innings, right?

It is a big deal for me to lie
to my family and come here.

You are his best friend, right?
Talk to him.

That it's such a silly decision.

I'm going to whack him.

Why are you crying?
Wait, let him get here. I'll slap him.

I will talk to him.

He gets upset really quickly.

Okay, wipe your tears.

The lady can cry too.

Don't get so stressed out.
I'm here. Don't worry.

She's just a bit concerned about you.

She cares for you.

It's not her fault that you don't
have a girl for a best friend.

Why don't you trust her?

-Yes, uncle?
-Come home at once.

Dress up well.

It's important.

Okay, uncle.

This is Siddharth.

He is Supriya's friend.

But you can consider him as our son.

Offer him something to eat.

So, he's like an adopted brother.

Well, it's implied that he is a brother.

I have decided how I will tell dad.

Siddharth.

Dad didn't say yes to them yet.

-And I said I will tell him--
-Don't tell him.

It's not the right time yet.

-Siddharth--
-Listen, just marry him.

-Are you crazy?
-Uncle is ready to get you married.

But he's not willing to hear about me.

-How fucked up is that?
-Don't talk to me in this language.

Listen, you decide whether
you want to tell him or not.

When, how and what language you will use.

Just call me after you have told him.

Siddharth, I haven't
yet agreed to the wedding!

Siddharth...

Isn't she up yet?

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

You're up late today.

Brilliant. Sunny not at home?

Hey, man.

Why was he in your bedroom?

What?

Did he sleep with you?

Yes, so what?

We went off to sleep
while chatting at night.

Sunny, will you give us five minutes.

Yes, sure. I'll be in the bedroom.

If one person gets sleepy while chatting

then the other person could
have slept in the other room.

Enough, Anshu.

I'm not even going to dignify this
with a discussion.

A boy slept with you in your bed.

And you're telling me
you won't dignify my question

with an answer?

Stop making it sound
like I slept with him.

He's my best friend.

I've had enough
of this best friend charade.

What the hell is wrong with you?

He's my childhood friend.

If I was interested in him,
why would I even date you?

All right, so he's your
childhood best friend.

But there is a relationship, right?

If he is more important than me,
why am I here?

And your childhood is past you.

There is a time for everything,
when things seem right.

He may have wrestled with you as a kid.

Can he do that even now? No, right?

What's wrong? Is everything all right?

No. Everything is not all right.

Anshu, don't talk to me in this tone.

Leave him out of this,
this is our problem.

Right, this is "our" problem.

Ours. Do you understand what that means?

What is the matter? Just tell me.

He's upset that we slept together.

Oh, no, Anshu.

You know there is nothing
of that sort going on.

We are just good friends.

You should trust Chiku at least that much.

Exactly.

Do you seriously not get it?

Or you guys are just playing dumb?

Forget about the trust.

There is a difference between
being trusting and being a dumbass.

Do whatever you want and then
expect me, in the name of trust,

not to have any issues with that.

I'm seriously done with this.

You can elope if you want.

We won't stop you.

You shouldn't have told them so soon.

You should have taken some more time.

We didn't wait for the right time.

Revealing things too quickly
can cause problems.

Do you think if we had waited longer
they would believe us?

What do you want from me?

I'm asking for too much.

I am so sorry.

I know you told uncle
and he didn't listen.

So, what can you do about it?

It's not all that simple.

You know it doesn't seem so
when I look at you.

It doesn't seem like
it's a problem for you.

The way you're giving up so easily

it doesn't seem like
it ever mattered to you.

Do you think it's easy for me?

All right then. I'll talk to uncle again.

No, you're not going to do that.

It can't be done.

I know it won't happen.

I always knew it.

I don't know why I loved you.

I've ruined your life too.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry. Great.

What else could I want?

Siddharth. Please understand me.

What should I understand?
Where should I shove that apology?

What should I do with that?

After one and a half years you
realize you shouldn't have done it.

That it was a mistake.
What should I do with that apology?

By God.

I've never felt so fucked up.

And mind you, I already felt
I was pretty fucked up anyway.

But not like this.

Go on.

Go.

I know you're avoiding me.

I tried not to tell you.

But I am two weeks late.

I'm really nervous, Tarun.

-And now?
-This was negative too.

But these tests are not too reliable.

Yes, but all five tests can't be wrong.

How do you know, Tarun?
Are you pregnant or me?

I'm just saying you could be late
because of stress.

I read on the Internet it's quite common.

Were you hoping I was not pregnant?

Weren't you hoping for that too?

Yes. Perhaps.

I guess.

But I don't know.

For a moment I thought this felt right.

I was nervous too, but in a good way.
Didn't you feel the same?

Kusum, what is this sudden--

What if the test was positive?

We would have discussed that
in that scenario.

What do you mean?

Imagine I'm pregnant.

In that case, I am with you
no matter what you decide.

Tarun.

I don't know, Tarun.

I just feel I'm ready to be a mother.

But a while ago, that thought scared you.

I was scared at the thought
of being alone.

But now that you are here,
I felt it could be done.

It's a partnership deed. Go through it.

Chauka, do you see that?

The boy is doing accounts now.

Loser, don't misunderstand this.
I am the boss.

Yes, you are, but--

Then take my signature and do the job,
like employees do.

You're talking nonsense.
Did you transfer the money?

I'll get it done by tomorrow.

The money can be arranged.
Just read it once.

Gogo, I tell you,
this guy has hatched an evil plan.

He's into the ownership
of everything these days.

That's what happens
when a girl is in your life.

I just don't get it. What's the problem?

The problem? The fact that
she is a girl is the problem.

What else could be the problem?

The problem is we don't want
any problems in life.

But if we don't have any problems in life,

then that is the biggest
problem of their lives.

Basically, there is a time
in every girl's life

when she realizes that her life

is impossible without
a driver, a bodyguard,

a servant, and an ATM.

Every girl can't afford
all of those things, right?

So girls look for boyfriends.

They try you out. If they like your work,

then the job is permanent
and you get married.

The most important thing
about marriage is fulfilling needs.

And men are supposed to
fulfill a woman's every need.

You barely finish the paperwork
after losing a job and the girl vanishes.

Office folks don't ask for the ID card
as fast as they ask for a divorce.

Basically, if a girl has to pay once,
she vanishes.

Their purses contain
the legendary vanishing watch.

Just wear it and vanish.

If you really want to pay, then pay.
Don't pretend like you want to pay.

Don't pay as per the amount of
the bill, pay every single time.

Listen, girls just pretend to
give up in front of their parents.

It's never the case
that you're earning 200,000

and she gets pressured into
marrying someone who makes 50,000.

She fights her parents only so long

as they can find a boy
to compare with you.

Then she won't just break up
and go away from your life.

She will discuss the why
and wherefores for ten days.

Suddenly she will be worried
whether you've eaten.

If you are so concerned why leave him?

Basically what she wants is

for you to ask whether she ate,
so she can say no.

Then you will request her to eat
and she will cry.

And it will be established that they are
the biggest victims in the break up,

which is happening
due to their foolishness.

All of them are selfish.

Just take the girl from
the Titanic, for example.

And say one person could
fit on the wooden plank.

Why didn't they do 15-minute rotations?

All right, you clambered on first.

Who asked you to fall asleep?
She slept to her heart's content.

How did you decide that he is dead?

Are you a doctor? Did you check his pulse?
He could have fainted.

He didn't say, "Good morning, baby,"
so he's dead.

She tossed him overboard and went off.

They want to talk before sleeping,
after sleeping...

Isn't the day enough? Can't a man
rest in peace before sleeping?

And what is this "talk me to sleep"?

Let's say I would even do that
to get her to sleep.

But what is it that occurs
while they sleep

that they want to start
talking as soon as they wake up?

"Baby, it's been an hour,
you didn't call me."

I need an hour just to wake myself up.

Then you go to the loo, brush your teeth,
take a bath.

You think about the day ahead.

Every man has a fundamental right
to think while taking a shit.

But, no. They want to talk
to you even over there.

Why do married men
always get late to work?

Because the ones who get up on time,
get late due to talking.

And the smart guys get up late.

So, it's wake up, get ready, and run.
That way you don't have to talk.

And after putting up with all that,
the biggest fuck-up is

they want to talk after sex too.

Are you insane? Sex is what it is
because it's the ultimate.

Why do they say, "to climax"?
Because that's the end of the film.

Who on earth drinks soup
after eating dessert?

You know sometimes I think they
want you to talk them to orgasm.

Girls only need two things from men.
"I love you" and "sorry."

If you say I love you,
they ask you, "Why do you love me?"

They want to know every two months
why you love them?

"I love you, but give me five reasons
why you love me."

Are you crazy?
Who the hell thinks so much?

Didn't you ever hear
that love is a feeling?

And the biggest fuck-up of all is "sorry."

Because, eventually, every man
gets tired and has to say sorry.

But it doesn't end after apologizing.

The real story starts after the apology.

"Do you know why you said sorry?"

"You don't even know why you said sorry."

"I am saying sorry
for what we are arguing about."

Try explaining to them, but no way.
They won't get it.

Just let their best friend
explain the same thing

they understand it in a trice.

Sooraj Barjatya started this
nonsense about best friends.

The best friend scam is perpetuated

with lines like,
"No sorry or thanks in friendship."

In friendship there is no "please,"
no asking,

and there is no limit to anything.

When it comes to friendship,
a boy can come to a girl's house

and stay as long as he wants.

A girl can sit on her guy friend's lap,
and it's platonic.

A girl can get drunk and kiss
her guy friend, and it's platonic.

A girl can change in front
of her guy friend, that's okay too.

I guess, even sex is
platonic between friends.

Say one word about their clothes
and suddenly they behave like feminists.

"You can't tell me what to wear."

If you can tell me what I should wear,

how does my telling you suddenly
bring in equality, liberty, individuality,

freedom, sovereignty into the mix?

And the phone is man's worst enemy.

See, there is a stage
in every relationship

when you know, while talking on the phone,

that this conversation will
result in a fight after a point.

But you can't disconnect.

Because girls don't think you
should have disconnect buttons.

They can disconnect as it's their right.

Or if they want to watch MasterChef.
But not you.

Because, Airtel is now here to torture you

on not just the phone, but the TV as well.

"Record the match and watch it later."

Women are convinced
that is a genuine proposition.

Which self-respecting man
records a match to watch it later?

Earlier the service providers
slashed call rates and destroyed us.

When they were done,
the smart phone guys showed up.

Now tell me why do you
need to create an app

which tells someone your location?

I stop to buy a cigarette on the road

and I get a call at once.
"Baby, are you fine?

I saw you standing somewhere
for three and a half minutes.

I figured, I should call and ask you."

Woman, if I call you so many times
while driving

I am going to die anyways.

Even if a man is dying, he will
probably have to call and tell her.

"Baby, I'm dying. Death is here for me."

Even then they won't bother
that the man is dying.

They will still ask, "Where are you,
how are you dying?

You didn't tell me
you had plans to die today.

Who is dying with you?

Really? So now you're dying with him too?"

That's how Sati got her husband
back from the God of Death.

She must have fucked his happiness.

She must have bombarded
him with questions.

I bet the Lord of Death handed
the husband back with an apology.

Another bullshit story is
girls say they love surprises.

Whereas the fact is that
women hate surprises.

They just love the opportunity
to pretend to be surprised.

They should know
you have planned a surprise.

They should know what you have planned.

But not through you. Through someone else.

Then their real joy is concealed
in the fact that

they may know the surprise,

but you have to go up to them
and yell, "Surprise!"

And give them a chance to say, "Aww!"

There is always another question
concealed behind every question they ask.

There are layers.

You may think she is asking
you how the chickpeas taste.

If you like them, that's okay.

But, God forbid, you find any flaws.

Then the recipe will be the one
passed down by her mom.

And if you don't like chickpeas
made by her mom's recipe

that means you hate her entire family.

Why do girls feel that their
parents are God's incarnation?

You can only learn something
of value from her parents.

And she can mouth off about
your parents, it's totally cool.

You can't say a word against her parents.

They will wage the third and fourth
World War all at once.

You can call my mom "manipulative",
that's no biggie.

If I call your mom slightly "touchy"

she gets so touched,
you can't touch her for weeks on end.

Despite all of this,
we are still with girls.

And those who aren't
are desperately seeking out girls.

Why? Because they bribe us.

Bribe is an institution started by women.

Because the bribes they can offer
will never end.

And we bribe-takers are getting ruined
by the minute.

Won't it be better to get married
to one's own hand?

I am getting relieved
from the office next week.

The engagement is in
the first week of March.

I'll get married after three months.

I'll leave right away after the wedding.

I don't want to marry him.
I don't want to.

I don't want to.

I love you, Siddharth.

I love you.

I know I can't have you for life.

But till I can...

I want to.

I want to.

I think I'll have to withdraw
the savings from our account.

I can't support the website without that.

That's going to happen if you
keep spending on Anshul and Chauka.

Kusum, there you go again.

Why discuss it when you don't
know the understanding between us?

If there is such a deep understanding,

why don't you ask them for the money?

Anyway it's your money. It's your career.

Take your half from the account.

My half? I thought that is our money.

So you want to use up all the savings?

Kusum, I am talking about
withdrawing the money

that I would have saved
for my website anyways.

Now I get it.

I thought we were saving
equal portions of our salaries.

We are investing equally.

But I didn't realize you are
keeping track of our contributions.

Kusum, I am not keeping track
of anything. I need your support.

I'm sorry, Tarun.
I'm not able to support you financially.

Support isn't only financial, Kusum.

You can support in some way or the other.

At least don't be so negative
if you can't be supportive.

What do you want me to say?

It's a great idea?
It's a successful business plan?

You're going to become Mark Zuckerberg
with this website.

Foolish.

Sunny left.

So?

We need to talk.

Can you come home?

I know you've had problems with Sunny.

But you should know he kept telling me
that you are right.

And I should examine it
from your perspective,

that it would make
any boyfriend uncomfortable.

I know.

What we do without Sunny?

Stop being sarcastic.

He's gone now.

I'm leaving then.

Stay here.

Please?

I know you left because of me.

I am sorry.

Are you crazy? Chill.

I need you to understand.

Even if Anshu is here,
you're still important to me.

I know.

You know how important you are to me?

I'll talk to him.

He'll have to understand.

When you were here,
I felt there was someone with me.

Since you left, I feel so alone.

I know. Me too.

I miss you.

I miss you too.

He's only half asleep, he may wake up.

Good night. Sweet dreams.

Sweet dreams.

Oh, you fool

For how long?

Oh, you fool

For how long?

Why didn't you accept

What you figured out, you fool?

You fool

You fool

Oh, you fool

The bird pecked at your harvest
And pooped on you, for good measure

Your wretched decency
Has messed up your life

You are left standing high and dry

You are left standing high and dry

She used you to climb
And then walked all over you

Run away, you are so lucky

Run away, you are so lucky

Why are you lying unaware
In the grave you have dug?

This romance of yours
Is a cesspool of lies

Accept it, wake up

Get a move on, run away

You are truly caught

When will you wisen up?

You fool

Hi.

Hi.

Who were you talking to?

What?

I was calling and it was on hold.

Who were you talking to?

Tina.

Let me see your phone.

What the fuck?

Don't worry, I'll understand.

I'll have to understand.

Right?

You checked my phone.

How dare you?

Is that such a cardinal sin?

We aren't even talking
about what's in the phone.

Did he hug you while sleeping?

What? Seriously?

What kind of a question is that?

Were you snuggled up
in the same comforter?

How will knowing that help you Anshu?

I don't know, I just want to know.

Fuck off! Seriously, fuck off!

Don't forget to tell her
how much you hate me.

Anshu, just let it go. Forget it.

I would have done it if I could.

I left my phone behind.

I told you he's not worth it.

How dare he ask you this?

How cheap is that?

Why do you take so much nonsense, Chiku?

You're better than this.
Why do you let him treat you like this?

Siddharth, I have decided.

I want to marry you.

Listen, court marriages happen overnight
only in movies.

In reality, there's a whole
lot of rigmarole involved.

You have to apply.

You can't go there in the morning
and get married on the spot.

Anyways you better think this over.

Let's see in the morning.
You handle Supriya.

Yes, Kusum?

Are you with Tarun?

No.

What the fuck are you guys teaching him?

Why are you both doing this?

I know you're the ones
teaching him all this.

He's been blinded.

He can't see how he's ruining his life.
But can't you see it either?

And you call yourself friends.

You know I even discussed this idea
with my boss.

And what he had to say?

That Tarun is being childish.

He's talking like a child, okay?

He doesn't value anything that I say.

But if someone so senior said that,
obviously something is wrong.

I am telling you.

I will not be a part of this, seriously.

If he wants to ruin his life like this,

then I have no interest
in being a part of such a life.

I am not going to ruin my life
for his insanity.

Supriya!

Uncle says Supriya came over for a party.

And we forced her to stay.

That we spiked her drink.

Thakur, this is such a load of nonsense.

Tell him to ask her directly.

The girl is agreeing
to everything her dad is saying.

Sir, she came home at night.

She asked him to marry her,
in my presence.

Sir, we were there. It's true.

Listen, buddy, you know that,
and I know that.

The girl knows, the Inspector
knows and her dad knows.

She came of her own free will.

But I have never seen it
in 20 years of duty.

No girl tells the truth here.

Often, they back off.

Do you want to go ahead with this,
or give a warning and settle it?

You know the truth and so do I.

She is agreeing with you right now.

What if she backs off in the court?

Forget about the court.

Since it has come to this,
it is going to become public.

I will speak too. The truth will emerge.

What will Pankaj think?
So, let's forget about it.

I can guarantee this much.

You can marry her off happily.
I won't ever see her again.

And, of course, thank you for saving me.

If I'd married her,
my life would have gotten fucked.

Siddharth, I...

You're such a liar.

This is the account closing form.

I have signed it.

What happened? Did Gogo talk to you?

No. Why?

Did you say anything to him?

No.

I am closing this account as well.

Is it about the money?

Yes. It's about the money.

Tarun, forget what I said.

You can withdraw all the money
from the account.

I didn't know that

such a small amount of money
would become such a huge deal.

That's what I find really surprising.

You just didn't know it.

I would have convinced myself
if you did know.

That you were two-faced.

That you were always a two-faced bitch.

But you didn't know.

And since I know how much you
hate taking any favors from others,

just thought I'd let you know.

You owe me 850,000.

Approximately.

Sorry.

I know you're angry.

But just let it go, please?

We are good together.

I love you.

Say that again.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you...

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you, Tina.

I love you, Anshu.

I love you.

-I love you.
-I love you.

-I love you.
-I love you.

-I love you.
-I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you...

I love you...

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I told you he's not worth it.

How dare he ask you this?

How cheap is that?

Why do you take so much nonsense, Chiku?

You're better than this,
why do you let him treat you like this?

He absolutely doesn't trust me.

It's always the same thing.

Like I slept with Sunny till the end.

See? I told you Sunny likes you.

He even liked you before dating that girl.

He still likes you.

I never understood
what you ever saw in Anshu.

Yes, but--

But what?

Tell me, what does Anshu
have that Sunny doesn't?

Who understands you better?

Sunny.

Who have you known for a longer time?

Sunny.

Who cares for you more?

Sunny.

Who doesn't care for you at all?

Who is rude to you?

Who makes you cry? Anshu.

I don't know why I'm with him.

I just don't know. I don't know anything.

Do you think I should break up with him?

It's your call.

But I feel bad to see you, so...

I love you.

These three words are so cheap and fake.

Anyone can write them up, at any place.

Anyone can say them to anyone.

You can forget them at any time.

I love you.

Yes, mom? Greetings.

-How are you?
-I'm just saying.

-A mother's love...
-I'm with Gogo and Thakur.

...is the greatest love of all.

-How do moms do it?
-Are you well?

-Meerut?
-Without asking for anything.

-Without wanting anything.
-How did that happen?

-Unconditional.
-Meerut is a nice place.

I'm going now. I've had too much to drink.

-Hello, Mom?
-Meerut?

-Nothing, just missing you.
-Oh, there.

I love you.

I'm not drunk. I just wanted to say it.

I didn't break up. No way.
I just wanted to say it.

I don't need money.

So tell me more.

No, I am not drinking.

-I won't eat. Don't worry.
-I'm just about to drink.

Stop scolding me.

-What was he saying?
-I just love you, mom.

-He won't be coming, right?
-I miss you.

Nothing.

-He said it would be after two months.
-Just like that.

No, I'm coming.

-No, there's no hassle.
-I will be coming next week.

Yes, baby. Sorry, yeah, Gogo.

Don't blame him, Sid. The car was late...

He checked into the hotel because...

Sorry. I forgot the next line.
What is the dialog?

Basically, if the girl has to pay
the purse vanishes. It goes away.

Where is he going?
On whose shoulder is he crying?

If you lean against their shoulder,
you will be be...

Even after drinking...

One moment, something went into my eye.

-There's no water.
-No one said "tring".

Sorry.

I mean, she...

A man who can't be there
for India-Pakistan...

Oh, no.

Sir, I don't know what's going on.

Ask Supriya.

Sir, sorry.

I am saying no.

You can't...

Is it a successful business plan?

It's a success...

Sir, he's laughing again.

No, I'm just saying...

Support isn't only financial, Kusum.

Goge and Chauko...

Goga and Chaga.