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1
00:00:01,569 --> 00:00:04,372
Okay. All right, hurry,
stack the cool ones.
2
00:00:05,073 --> 00:00:06,974
Hurry up!
3
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:10,078
The church bake sale
isn't until tomorrow morning.
Why are we rushing?
4
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:11,412
'Cause these are
fresh cookies,
5
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,447
and my dad
will be home soon.
6
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:15,583
They're not safe.
7
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,119
Oh. Got it.
8
00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:19,453
(DOOR CLOSES)
Oh, crap! He's home.
9
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,189
Hide the cookies!
Hide the cookies!
10
00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:24,392
KEVIN: Hello, hello?
11
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:27,061
Hey.
12
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,696
Hey.
Hey.
13
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:30,931
How's it going?
14
00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:32,666
Good.
I just got the car washed.
15
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,268
They're jacking the prices up
over there again.
16
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:35,536
I'm not even gonna go.
17
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,611
Something happened here.
18
00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:46,814
No, nothing.
19
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,082
Really?
20
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:53,087
It's still warm.
Interesting.
21
00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:00,094
That's sugar.
22
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,130
Granulated cane.
23
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,866
It's curious.
24
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,102
It's probably nothing,
so...
25
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:18,412
Mr. Gable, no.
You, no!
26
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,250
They're for
the church bake sale.
27
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:23,817
Can you please
leave them alone?
28
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,886
And I would've,
if he didn't
try to deceive me.
29
00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:28,422
Something you may want
to bring up in confession
when you explain
30
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,324
why there weren't enough
cookies at the bake sale.
31
00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:32,126
Let's go. Come on.
32
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:33,761
Fine. I made extras anyway.
I'll put them
in the cookie jar.
33
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:36,797
(SIGHS)
34
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:41,669
Oh, uh, Dad, where's...
Where's Mr. Hoot?
35
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:42,736
Mr. who?
36
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:44,538
You know, the little
owl cookie jar.
37
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,140
It's always
been right there.
38
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:48,776
Oh. I sold it
at our garage sale
six months ago.
39
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,144
Actually, to Goody.
40
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,879
What? That's been
in the family for years.
41
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,282
I know. It was old, you know?
It was missing an eye.
42
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,684
It looked like it...
It got hit in the head
with a paint can.
43
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,186
It's, like, donk.
44
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,422
I loved that thing.
45
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:03,424
I mean, don't you remember
when I was 8 years old
46
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,559
and I wrote my initials
under the lid?
47
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,795
I can't believe
you got rid of it.
48
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:11,299
Mom wanted me to have it
for my kids someday.
49
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,234
I'm sorry, sweetie.
I didn't know.
50
00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:14,935
Look, I'll...
I'll just call Goody.
51
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:16,370
I'll get it...
I'll get it back, all right?
52
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,172
Thank you.
It means a lot to me.
53
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,007
Well, you know what
means a lot to me?
54
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:21,475
They're for the church.
55
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:22,943
Yeah, I either buy 'em Sunday
or I buy 'em now.
56
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:24,445
All right?
Doesn't matter.
57
00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:29,250
* I am not your
ordinary guy *
58
00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:31,185
(DOOR CLOSES)
VANESSA: Hello?
59
00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:32,520
Hey.
We're in here.
60
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:35,656
Hey. Lemme guess.
61
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,191
You didn't fill out
the paperwork
62
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,759
like you promised
you would.
63
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,594
Aw, that's right.
64
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,463
I'm... I can't believe
I did that.
65
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,365
I'm sorry.
I totally forgot.
66
00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:45,666
Yeah,
very typical of you.
67
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,768
Yeah, I think you should
take it back.
68
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,671
(SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)
69
00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:52,740
I just wanted to see you
get all hopped up, all right?
70
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,342
See,
that's the problem with you.
71
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:56,210
You always underestimate me.
And look at me.
72
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:57,878
I got things covered.
I'm on top of it.
73
00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:00,481
Hey.
Oh, hey, Goody,
74
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,115
did you bring the owl?
75
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,117
So, Didi reminded me
that we gave it
76
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,919
to my cousin
as a wedding gift.
77
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:10,491
Wait. You gave a $5 cookie jar
as a wedding gift?
It was used.
78
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:11,959
That's why I rinsed it.
79
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,094
It was missing an eye.
80
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:16,397
That's why I wrapped it.
81
00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:17,598
All right, well,
can you call your cousin
82
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:18,932
and have him
send it to us?
83
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,668
'Cause it's...
It's important to Kendra.
84
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,237
I would, but he doesn't
have it anymore.
85
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,606
He sold it to a pawnshop
in Utica.
86
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:28,642
He pawned a used,
one-eyed cookie jar?
87
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,177
I don't have to explain
my family to you.
88
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:33,247
Wow. It's like that.
89
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,783
(SCOFFS)
But I got good news.
90
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:38,185
I called the pawnshop,
and they still have it.
91
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,420
That's great.
Let's get it shipped.
92
00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:40,888
Well, I tried,
but they don't ship.
93
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:43,257
Why not?
'Cause it's not
Williams Sonoma.
94
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:45,693
It's a pawnshop in Utica.
95
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,829
All right.
I guess I'm driving upstate.
96
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:51,499
Dad, are you sure? I mean,
that's like a four-hour ride.
Yeah.
97
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,667
Look, if it's important
to you, I'm going.
98
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:55,436
Aww.
99
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:57,871
It is important to you, right?
Yes, it is.
100
00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,773
Okay.
101
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,110
And they definitely
don't ship?
They don't ship.
102
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,945
And it's definitely
important to you?
103
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:07,080
CHALE: Um, I hate to be
the voice of reason here,
104
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,483
but, uh, isn't it a bit silly
sending your father
105
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,285
all the way upstate
for a cookie jar?
106
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:12,820
Why is it silly?
107
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:16,690
Because I just found them
online for less than $10.
108
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,293
Sending your father up there
is a little bit crazy.
109
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,661
So now I'm crazy?
110
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,162
Oh, boy.
Well, what is it?
111
00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:23,731
Am I silly,
or am I crazy?
112
00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:25,366
Calm down.
113
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:26,834
Calm down?
114
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,802
I'm out.
KEVIN: All right,
we got to go.
115
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:34,575
(IMITATING CHALE)
"I hate to be
the voice of reason here."
116
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,677
(NORMAL VOICE)
You are one dumb man.
117
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:38,646
What was I supposed to do?
118
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,314
She was being unreasonable.
119
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:41,682
Okay, well, you don't say
"calm down"
120
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,050
when they give you
that look.
121
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,352
It's like running into
a bear in the woods.
122
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,719
You play dead.
123
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,588
I thought you were
supposed to get big
124
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,089
and jingle your keys
and yell,
125
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:50,223
"Bear, bear,
there's a bear!"
126
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,725
No.
127
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:53,894
That's for a grizzly.
128
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,863
Or is it a black bear?
I don't know.
129
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,532
I don't know.
One you play dead,
the other you get big.
130
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:02,536
Then you got koalas
and pandas. I think
you can just hug them.
131
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:05,072
I guess I still have
a lot to learn about marriage.
132
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:08,008
But we do have a four-hour
car journey ahead of us.
133
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:10,611
Maybe you can impart
a little more wisdom.
134
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:12,312
Oh. That's actually
a good idea.
135
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,314
(LAUGHS)
Or...
136
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:16,283
(RADIO TURNS ON)
LOU ON RADIO: How ya doin'?
Lou from Staten Island.
137
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:19,520
Listen, I think the Mets
are having a fantastic year.
138
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,456
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
139
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,492
Hey.
Hi.
140
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:25,926
Can you do me a favor?
Yeah.
141
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,095
When your dad gets home,
could you have him
142
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,763
re-sign
where the tabs are,
143
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,933
and tell him this time
not to get jelly on it?
144
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,234
Yeah, see, getting food
145
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:35,903
all over important paperwork
is kind of his thing.
146
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:37,971
My birth certificate
still has Cheeto dust on it.
147
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,272
(LAUGHS)
148
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,742
KYLE: Hey, Kendra, is, uh,
my duct tape out there?
149
00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:42,976
Oh, uh, no.
150
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,878
No, I don't see it.
Your Uncle Kyle's here?
151
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:47,047
Yeah, he's fixing
our furnace.
Oh, okay, I'm gonna run,
152
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:48,782
'cause every time he sees me,
he hits on me.
153
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,418
Which is weird
'cause he sucks in his gut,
154
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,119
so he can only talk
in these short bursts.
(LAUGHS)
155
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,286
I'll see you later.
Okay, bye.
156
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,623
Tape was in my bag.
(LAUGHING) Hey.
157
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,058
How you doing, girl?
(CLEARS THROAT)
158
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,226
Take a breath, idiot.
159
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:00,761
I'm breathing.
Okay.
160
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,129
(STRAINED) Maybe we can go see
a movie or something?
161
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,531
(CLEARS THROAT)
162
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,098
Look, Kyle,
like I told you yesterday
163
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,935
and pretty much every day
before that,
164
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:10,270
this is not happening, okay?
This is a no-go.
165
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,372
Okay, sorry.
You know, I just...
166
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,007
You're the...
You're the whole package.
167
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,544
Okay, uh, thank you.
That is very sweet.
168
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:19,146
But come on, Kyle.
You're a nice guy.
169
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,914
I'm sure there are
plenty of women
170
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,916
out there for you.
Yeah, well, you'd think.
171
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:25,519
But, you know, I hit
a little bit of a dry patch,
that's all.
172
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,955
Around, uh, about '97.
173
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:28,922
Oh.
174
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,691
Well, what about
online dating?
175
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:34,061
Nah. Tried 'em all.
Except for FarmersOnly.com.
176
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,129
They sniffed me out
pretty quick.
177
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,297
Maybe it's your profile.
178
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,132
No, no.
Profile's rock solid.
179
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,370
"Part-time cage-fighter."
180
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:45,939
"The inventor
of the airline pillow."
181
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,576
No, no, no.
I said I was on the team
182
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,210
that invented
the airline pillow.
183
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,545
Okay, Uncle Kyle,
184
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,180
maybe you should
just redo your profile,
185
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,682
and this time,
don't lie so much.
186
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,250
Yes, I'm sure there are
a lot of things about you
187
00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,052
that women find attractive.
188
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:00,353
Like what?
189
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,556
Me? Oh, okay. Um...
190
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:05,826
Well,
you're a firefighter,
191
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:07,628
which means you have
great dental coverage.
192
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,196
Yeah, a very good plan.
Dr. Weisman. Yeah.
193
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,198
See?
But, you know,
everybody exaggerates
194
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,566
on the dating profiles.
195
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:13,867
Well, yeah,
but not everybody won
196
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,870
the 2016 Pan American
Jiu-Jitsu Competition.
197
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,075
This place is wild.
198
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,277
Look, tomorrow night,
they have
an arm wrestling tournament
199
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:26,046
and "Taco Madness." Fun!
200
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,081
Okay, Chale,
you got to stop it, all right?
It's not fun.
201
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,650
You know... You know what
fun would have been?
202
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:31,218
Getting to the pawnshop
before it closed,
203
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,386
getting our owl,
and driving home, okay,
204
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,022
instead of staying
in a motel
205
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:37,157
next to a burned-down
Panda Express.
206
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:41,028
Once again,
I apologize, Mr. Gable.
207
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,631
I set my GPS to scenic,
because I thought we could
208
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,298
take in all
of the fall foliage,
209
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,535
which, please admit it,
it was spectacular.
210
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,637
(IMITATING CHALE)
It wasn't spectacular.
211
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,305
(NORMAL VOICE)
It's a bunch of leaves.
212
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:53,507
By the way, we got
a whole bunch in our lawn.
213
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,175
Feel free to rake 'em up.
214
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,646
Nice job. All right.
215
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,147
'Scuse me, ma'am.
Oh!
216
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,316
You're gonna want to keep
your hands to yourself!
217
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:04,985
Sorry, I just...
I was just getting a napkin.
218
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,520
Oh, I know what
you're trying to get.
219
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:08,656
Look,
I am seeing someone, okay?
220
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,958
Promise ring. Bam!
You see that? Uh-huh.
221
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,793
Chunky, why are your eyes
down here?
222
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,895
They're supposed
to be up here.
223
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,897
I was just following
where your finger
was pointing.
224
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:20,200
I know you're not talking
all sexy about my finger now.
225
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,401
Wait. What? What? What?
226
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:23,336
Clyde!
Clyde?
227
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:26,073
There a problem?
It's not a problem,
Clyde, all right.
228
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:28,275
Listen, I'm gonna pay our tab
and we'll get out of here.
229
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,810
Huh.
Yeah, all right.
230
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,612
Mm-hmm. He was making
unwanted advances.
231
00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:32,780
Oh, yeah?
Mm-hmm.
232
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:33,814
Uh, I think
what we have here
233
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,649
is a classic comedy
of errors.
234
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:36,984
You see,
we're from out of town.
235
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,687
Where you from?
You sound funny.
236
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:42,690
I'm from England.
And to me, you sound funny.
237
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,124
Wait. We sound funny?
238
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,559
Huh.
Did you hear that,
Clyde?
239
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,060
Yeah. Did you hear
what he called you?
240
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:48,762
Uh-huh.
Oh, no, no. I didn't
call him anything.
241
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,030
Yeah, but you wanted to.
242
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:52,933
I'm...
I have to leave now.
243
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,367
It's okay.
I saw what happened.
244
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:55,502
We're cool.
Okay.
245
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:56,570
Yeah, yeah.
But before you go,
246
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:57,771
I wanna make things right.
247
00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,106
Right in your face!
248
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,178
Ladies, you were right.
249
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,648
I changed my profile,
went fully honest,
250
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,583
and got my first match
of the night.
251
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:12,586
And she is a keeper.
252
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:15,055
Wow. Kelly, huh?
She's cute.
253
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,557
Yeah, it's been
less than a day,
254
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:20,127
but I think we're
talking soul mate.
255
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,863
Wait, wha...
You haven't even met her yet.
256
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,698
There are plenty of women
out there.
257
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:25,866
No. They had their shot,
all right?
258
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,701
Honest Kyle,
off the market.
259
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,337
I'm putting all my apples
in the Kelly basket.
260
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,139
So, if you'll excuse me.
261
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,009
Aww. Wow.
262
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,577
I can't believe
he found someone.
263
00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:39,713
He didn't.
That's a fake profile.
264
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,115
The picture of Kelly
is of my hairdresser.
265
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:45,886
You're catfishing him?
266
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,454
No.
267
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,589
Technically, yes.
268
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:51,892
But only because I felt bad
about yesterday,
269
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,593
and I just wanted
to build up his confidence.
270
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:54,995
He won't even look
at another woman
271
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:56,529
if he thinks he has
a shot on this one.
272
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,666
Okay, you know what?
You're right.
273
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,701
I will have Kelly
let him down easy.
274
00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:03,036
Yes. Oh, but just be
nice about it.
275
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,304
I will.
276
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:07,240
(HUMMING)
277
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,476
Do you always make that noise
when you're texting?
278
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,044
Only when
I'm breaking hearts.
279
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:15,649
Okay, done.
280
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,217
And I did it
in a very nice way.
281
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,153
KYLE: No!
282
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,693
Ugh! Bad news.
283
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,928
Ugh. It's over.
284
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,562
Kelly moved to Australia.
285
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,198
Australia?
286
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:34,367
Wow. That seems
unnecessarily far away.
287
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,637
(BELL JINGLES)
288
00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:38,772
That's what was weird,
because I didn't
289
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,507
feel any pain
in the moment.
290
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:41,909
It was only a... Ow!
291
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,277
Oh, Mr. Gable, how...
How does my eye look?
292
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,379
Like a tiny man
head-butted you.
293
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,482
That's all right.
I don't care.
294
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,084
I'm actually quite proud.
295
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:54,021
Hey, here we are.
This is it.
296
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,155
Yes, yes!
297
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,557
Yep. We're good to go.
"KG," there it is.
298
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:58,992
Well, well, well.
299
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,261
If it isn't the white
Flavor Flav and Heavy D.
300
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,896
Welcome to my pawnshop.
301
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:05,632
You own the place?
302
00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:08,836
Why else would I welcome you,
dummy?
303
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:12,205
Okay, well, look, um,
first off, I wanted to say
304
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,842
that there is no excuse
for his behavior last night,
305
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:17,177
and, uh, we are both
very, very sorry.
306
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,246
So, you know,
we're just gonna get this owl
307
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:20,647
and we'll get out
of your hair.
308
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:23,116
Great.
The price is $1 million.
309
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,518
What?
I'm just messing with you.
310
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,054
$800,000.
311
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:31,258
She's coming down.
That's a good sign.
312
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:34,027
Okay, look, I understand
you're mad, all right,
313
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,496
but I really want
to buy this, okay?
314
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:37,898
So, can you give me
the real price?
315
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,633
$5,000.
316
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,469
Come on.
I'm serious.
317
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,571
This is no ordinary
cookie jar.
318
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,840
It was owned
by a celebrity.
319
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:49,609
You see this? "KG."
320
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:52,946
Kelsey Grammer.
Yes! Ow! Mm!
321
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,381
No, see,
that's a misunderstanding.
322
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,716
That "KG" is my daughter.
It's Kendra Gable.
323
00:11:56,784 --> 00:11:58,518
Nice try, buddy.
Uh-uh.
324
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:01,588
That cookie jar
has been in my family
for years, all right?
325
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,090
And... (SIGHS)
326
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,325
I sold it, and I...
And I shouldn't have done it.
327
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,560
I'm sure you can understand
what I'm going through.
328
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:09,797
Baby, I understand.
329
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:12,032
Man,
we all make mistakes.
Yes.
330
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,301
You see that guitar
over there? That's a mistake.
331
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,103
That bowling ball over there?
That's a mistake.
332
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,871
This whole place
is a mistake.
333
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,473
It should be named
Yvette's House of Mistakes.
334
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,576
I like it.
It's got pizzazz.
335
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,913
(CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY)
Okay.
336
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,782
Bottom line, I can only go
as low as $5,000.
337
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,150
But I don't have $5,000.
338
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:32,485
Then you don't have
Frasier's cookie jar!
339
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:35,522
Love what I do!
340
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:39,526
I'll admit it,
I like her.
341
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,094
She got
a zest for life.
342
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:42,462
It's a
job satisfaction kind of...
343
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,932
Shut up.
344
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,002
I figured out how
we're gonna get that money.
345
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:55,142
"Arm wrestling tournament.
Grand prize, $5,000."
346
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,878
Shabang.
347
00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,813
You really think
I can win?
348
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,555
CHALE: You sure about this,
Mr. Gable?
349
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,091
KEVIN:
You're looking at the best
arm wrestler at the precinct.
350
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,827
I was known as Iron Wrist.
351
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,362
We're getting that...
(ECHOING) ...owl.
352
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:19,867
* Running through the night
353
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,936
* Running to survive
354
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,505
* We're gonna show 'em
355
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:28,508
* That they're the best
they'll ever find
356
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,980
* We'll never surrender
357
00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:36,083
* We'll never give in
358
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,252
* We'll always remember
359
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,189
* To never forget
360
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,558
* We fight until we win
361
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,162
* We fight until we win
362
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:53,000
* We fight until we win
363
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,669
You ready, Mr. Gable?
Oh, yeah.
364
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,071
Plus, I already
cut my sleeves off,
365
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,473
so there's
no turning back.
366
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:04,777
All right, your first opponent
is right over there.
367
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,779
Him? I'll snap
his arm right off.
368
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,849
Oh, that is the
eye of the tiger!
(BELL DINGS)
369
00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:11,151
First match,
370
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:15,555
Man Eater McGraw
versus Glorious Gable.
371
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,491
Glorious Gable?
372
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,360
They asked for a nickname
and you were in the bathroom.
373
00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:23,030
I told you,
I'm Iron Wrist.
374
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,098
Oh, sorry. I forgot.
375
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,733
It was five minutes ago.
376
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:29,169
All right, boys,
lock 'em up.
377
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,305
I just want you to know,
I'm about two things...
378
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,507
That's chewing gum
and snapping arms.
379
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:37,210
And guess what,
I'm all out of gum.
380
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,948
Actually,
you're chewing gum right now.
381
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:44,184
And I'm just telling you that
because it's a choke hazard.
382
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:49,656
Uh, he's probably right.
Um, anybody got...
383
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,191
You got a napkin?
Anybody?
384
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,194
Chale. (SPITS)
385
00:14:57,864 --> 00:15:01,534
Okay, boys,
you know the rules.
386
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,836
(ROCK ANTHEM MUSIC PLAYS)
387
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,172
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
388
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:09,109
Let's do this.
389
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,078
Aah!
390
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,955
I feel like I had him
for a second, right?
391
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:27,560
I shouldn't have turned
the hat around.
392
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,130
Sure. That was the problem.
The hat.
393
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,167
I can't go back to my wife
empty-handed.
394
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,768
Chale, that's gonna happen
in a marriage.
395
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,471
Sometimes you gotta go home,
you look your wife
396
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,507
right in the eye,
and say,
397
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,809
"The pawnshop blew up
because of a gas leak,
398
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,944
"and the owl was lost
in an inferno."
399
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,482
I will never lie to Kendra.
Yeah.
400
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:52,852
Unless you got 5 grand
for a $5 cookie jar,
401
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:54,154
I don't know
what to tell you.
402
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,125
Wait, that's it.
403
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,660
That's it. I've got it.
$5,000.
404
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:03,463
Mr. Gable, I've got to go back
to the pawnshop.
Ch... Chale.
405
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,598
Have you been sitting on
$5,000 this whole time?
406
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:08,001
I'll literally...
I'll punch you
right in the mouth.
407
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:19,546
Kelly?
408
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,148
Excuse me?
409
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,615
I can't believe this.
410
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:25,085
I ran into you before
you left for Australia?
411
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,420
I'm sorry.
Do I know you?
412
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,956
Oh, uh, of course.
I'm Kyle.
413
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:31,624
Sexy firefighter.
414
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,995
I don't know what
you're talking about.
415
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:37,430
Wow.
416
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,067
So, you're gonna do me
like that?
417
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:41,734
That's cold-blooded.
418
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,037
You're making me
uncomfortable.
Can you please leave?
419
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:47,407
Are you kidding me?
I should spit in your face
right now.
420
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,177
But I can't,
because I still love you.
421
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,912
And I think you know me
well enough to know that...
422
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,281
I will always love you.
423
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,849
All right, I'm warning you,
I've got mace.
424
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,919
Hey, Mommy!
Noah, Mommy needs you
to wait for her
425
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:02,122
by the car. Now.
426
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,093
So you got a kid?
Is that the problem?
427
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,460
I mean,
you could've told me.
428
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,628
(SIGHS)
429
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:11,198
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.
430
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,133
I dig kids.
431
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,502
(SCREAMING)
432
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,105
(BELL JINGLES)
433
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:20,273
Hey, hey, hey.
What's the plan?
434
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,509
Mr. Gable, I've got this.
You can wait in the car.
435
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,511
I really need to do this
on my own.
436
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,979
I need to make things right
with Kendra, so...
437
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,215
All right.
438
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:30,350
Well, look,
if anything happens...
439
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,619
I'm just gonna say you went up
in the gas explosion.
440
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,156
Fair enough.
Good. Okay. All righty.
441
00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:37,990
(BELL JINGLES)
442
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,426
Oh, you're back.
443
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,761
Yes, and I would like
to buy that owl, please.
444
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:46,099
And I have $5,000
of American cash,
445
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,101
which I believe
was the asking price?
446
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,770
You're believing correctly.
447
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:53,740
Oh, wonderful.
Well, then, just, uh,
wrap that up for me
448
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:56,809
and, uh, include
the certificate
of authenticity,
449
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:57,944
and I'll be on my way.
450
00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,546
The wha...
451
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,481
Surely, you have
some form of proof
452
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,916
that, uh, it once belonged
to Kelsey Grammer?
453
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,652
Um, I maybe think...
454
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:07,787
(STAMMERING) Or just,
uh, maybe a photograph
455
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:10,757
of, uh, Mr. Grammer
enjoying a cookie
from the jar,
456
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:13,860
perhaps a-a snickerdoodle
on the set of Cheers?
457
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,428
I don't have any of that.
458
00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:18,598
Oh, well, then you don't
have any of this.
459
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:23,936
I have the initials.
(SCOFFS)
460
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:28,575
Yvette, those initials
were written
by an 8-year-old girl
461
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,144
called Kendra Gable.
My wife.
462
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:34,214
You're married to
an 8-year-old girl?
That's sick.
463
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:37,217
No. I'm...
She's not eight now.
464
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:40,487
Look, Clyde
said it was real.
465
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,522
And I'm guessing
he also told you
466
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,624
that diamond on that ring
is real?
467
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,360
It is real.
468
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,696
Isn't it?
Oh, Yvette.
469
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:53,600
(LAUGHS) We got it!
470
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:56,303
That's it! That's amazing.
How'd you do it?
471
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,538
I bluffed,
and she blinked.
472
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:00,373
That... I didn't think
you were gonna...
It's incredible.
473
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,908
I know. I know.
I feel fantastic.
474
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,311
Kendra's gonna be
so proud of me
when she finds out.
475
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,978
It's not just Kendra, man.
476
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,347
(STAMMERING)
I got to tell you,
I'm proud of you, too.
477
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,048
I really am.
You know what?
478
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:11,184
In fact, bring it in.
You got to bring it in.
Come on.
479
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,852
Oh.
That was awesome. Yeah.
480
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,154
(GRUNTS) Ahh!
481
00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:16,789
(LAUGHS)
482
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,325
(ENGINE STARTS)
483
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,858
I think maybe the hug
disoriented me and I...
484
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:54,461
(RADIO TURNS ON)
MAN ON RADIO: Coming up next,
we'll have Knicks Coach
485
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,564
Jeff Hornacek calling in
for an exclusive one-on-one...
486
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:04,003
Hey.
Hey, did you guys get it?
487
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:05,372
What happened
to your eye?
488
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:08,040
I'm afraid we've got
some bad news.
489
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:11,478
There was a gas leak
at the pawnshop.
The whole place blew.
490
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,315
What?
Are you kidding me?
491
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,083
That's how
this baby happened.
492
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:18,918
I took a brick
to the face.
493
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,456
The owl was
lost in the rubble.
It's just a mess.
494
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:24,991
We're gonna get
a couple brews.
495
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,827
Yeah,
we're pretty shaken.
Yeah.
496
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,397
Yeah, I mean, who cares
about the stupid owl?
497
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,399
I'm just... I'm glad
you guys are okay.
498
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:33,766
Yeah,
we're getting there.
499
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,101
Couple Heinekens
ought to take care of it.
500
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:37,604
Couple of Heinis.
501
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:38,838
You don't believe that story,
do you?
502
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,840
Not a word.
That's his go-to.
503
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:44,010
When Jack was 6,
my dad told him
the tooth fairy blew up.
504
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,346
Well, technically, her car,
but, you know, she was in it.
505
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,680
(SCOFFS)
506
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,585
(DOOR CLOSES)
KYLE: Vanessa,
507
00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:54,020
met your hairdresser.
508
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,659
* Don't want no sweet perfume
509
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:03,195
* Shake your thing,
go bust your move
510
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,432
* Do, do, do, do, do
511
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,133
* Do, do, do, do
512
00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:10,603
* Oh, yeah
513
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:13,673
* Don't want
no high-heel shoes
514
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,309
* I just don't want no...
35488
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