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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,271
Hey, did we get new towels?
2
00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:04,505
'Cause the one I just used
3
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:07,808
was like drying off
with a wicker basket.
4
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,977
No.
No, I got new fabric softener.
5
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,679
It's supposed to be good
for the environment.
6
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:14,048
All right, we got to go
through this again?
7
00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:16,250
"Good for the environment"
means it sucks.
8
00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:17,851
"Recyclable" --
It falls apart.
9
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:22,056
"Organic" -- You pay twice as
much, and it tastes like crap.
10
00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:23,624
That's a nice run, Dad.
Yeah.
11
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,559
Yeah. That's right up there
with your, uh,
12
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:29,597
"you burn more calories driving
than walking" theory.
13
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,433
It's about adrenaline.
14
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:35,336
Sweetheart.
Our results are here.
15
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,471
Results?
Yeah, we took one
of those DNA tests.
16
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:38,972
With just a little bit
of saliva,
17
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:40,674
they can unravel your DNA
18
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:44,378
and solve the mystery of your
ancestry for generations back.
19
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:47,915
I'm 98% English.
20
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,385
Whoa. Wait.
21
00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:54,588
According to this,
I'm 16% Viking?
22
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:55,956
Viking?
Hold the cheese.
23
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,692
Let me see that thing.
24
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,594
Whoa.
This is incredible.
25
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:03,531
If you're 16% Viking,
that makes me, uh...
26
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,966
I guess -- I mean, you double
it up for the parent, right?
27
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,901
So you'd be -- Double it up.
That would be, uh...
28
00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:10,704
You just bang it up twice.
You go, "Boom, boom."
29
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,308
Why --
I'm totally blanking on this.
30
00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:15,343
Why am I blanking?
I don't e--
31
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,077
It's 32%.
32%.
32
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:18,879
32%.
That means I'm 1/3 Viking.
33
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,549
Great. I've already played three
sports, and now I'm a Viking?
34
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:22,783
Boys will never talk to me.
35
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,952
Yeah.
It's 'cause you're a Viking.
36
00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:28,356
Hey, be proud of your
Nordic heritage, all right?
37
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:29,457
We're Vikings.
38
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:32,493
We're brave, we're strong,
and we are fearless.
39
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,895
Do you still want me
to pick up new fabric softener?
I do.
40
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,430
Uh, and get the one
with the little teddy bear
41
00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:38,399
that rolls around
in the towels. Thanks.
42
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,435
Snuggles. That's what
all the Vikings used.
43
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:46,374
* I am not your ordinary guy
44
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:47,708
Vanessa:
Morning, Rootger.
45
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:51,179
Listen, a, uh -- A local
magazine is doing a story on me,
46
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:52,346
and they're gonna be
coming by,
47
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:53,881
taking pictures of me
in the office.
48
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,483
Oh, great. Yeah.
Yeah.
49
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:57,951
But if Kevin calls, you don't
need to mention it to him.
50
00:01:57,985 --> 00:01:59,353
I'll handle it.
Just tell him I'm busy.
51
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:00,354
Got it.
Okay, great.
52
00:02:00,388 --> 00:02:01,422
All right.
Thanks.
53
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,924
-Kevin!
54
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,459
Vanessa's busy.
Huh?
55
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:08,729
Hey!
Uh...you're here.
56
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,964
I thought you were tailing
Mr. Martin all day today.
57
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,065
I did.
Uh-huh.
58
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,934
Uh, it turns out he's cheating
with the FedEx lady.
59
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,603
I didn't even have
to get out of the car,
60
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,571
which is great 'cause I had
a bagel sandwich going.
61
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,207
Nice, nice.
Little...
62
00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:22,009
Th-- The thing is, I --
63
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:22,810
Hey, Vanessa.
Hey...
64
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,345
uh, Kristen.
65
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:27,748
Um, this is Kristen
from Long Island Insider.
66
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:29,917
She wrote a story
about Monkey Fist.
67
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:32,786
So, this is Kevin,
and this is Rootger.
68
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,955
So, do you want
to just set up?
69
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,124
Yeah. I was thinking we
could shoot you on the couch
70
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,126
with the logo
in the background?
Great.
71
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,928
Photo shoot.
Heads-up would've been nice.
72
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,963
Not loving what I'm wearing,
but let's do it.
73
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,131
Let's make it happen.
74
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,999
There you go.
75
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:47,401
Uh, okay.
76
00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:48,969
I guess you can just stand
next to Vanessa.
77
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,170
Yeah, right?
This will be good.
78
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:51,839
Maybe I'll go, like, arms
folded or something.
79
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:55,509
Really pop the biceps out.
A little Superman style, huh?
80
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,010
Yeah. Very cool.
81
00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:58,646
Hey, uh, Kristen,
call my name.
82
00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,913
Old photography trick.
Watch this.
83
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,282
Kristen, call my name.
I'm sorry?
84
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:02,683
You got to call my name --
When I --
85
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,084
When I'm back, like, this way,
you got to call my name.
86
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,419
He's not gonna shut up
until you do it,
87
00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:06,587
so you just might
as well do it.
Yeah.
88
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:07,955
Okay. Kevin?
Yeah, what's up?
89
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,223
Take it. Snap it.
90
00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:10,991
Snap that shot.
91
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,626
You got it? Shabang!
92
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,362
And -- And, Kevin,
let's do one
93
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:15,796
where you move back
just a little bit.
94
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,931
Sure, absolutely.
Let's make it happen here.
95
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,800
Just move back
one more step.
96
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:20,834
Sure, no problem.
97
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,102
Perfect.
98
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:23,471
Hey, Kristen,
call my name again.
99
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:24,672
Do it again. Yeah.
Kevin.
100
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,809
**
101
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:29,943
Oh. Hey, babe.
102
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:32,012
Can you remind me what
we're doing tomorrow night?
103
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,715
Oh, that's right -- "Dear
Evan Hansen" on Broadway.
104
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,918
Rhetorical question.
Boom!
105
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,687
Actually, I just read
a bad review,
106
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,622
and I was thinking
we should skip it.
107
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:44,392
What?
Joke from Chale! Boom!
108
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,429
Actually, it's not a joke.
We do have to skip it.
109
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,897
I, um
110
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,032
You remember I said my
Aunt Tracy was coming to visit?
111
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,634
Yeah, you said
that was next week.
112
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,102
I might've got
the dates mixed up.
113
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:57,271
So we have to miss
the hottest show on earth
114
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,307
because you have
to babysit your aunt?
115
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:02,976
Yes, and --
How do I say this nicely?
116
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:06,414
She's not quite right
in the head.
117
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:09,550
So unless we can find someone
to look after her,
118
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,751
we're stuck.
119
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:11,752
All right.
120
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:12,853
Fixed the dryer.
Dove right in.
121
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,788
I took
the whole thing apart.
122
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:18,392
Turns out it was just unplugged,
so you live, you learn.
123
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,596
Hey, Uncle Kyle,
124
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:25,165
how would you like to go on
a date with an English lady?
125
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,668
I'm in.
So, give me the lady deets.
126
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:30,571
Well, she's my aunt, Tracy.
127
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,508
Yeah, the whole "aunt" thing
doesn't work for me.
128
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,810
I, uh, took
my buddy's aunt out once.
129
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,078
They said she was fun,
130
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:41,081
which apparently meant
she had skin like a lizard.
131
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,383
Okay, you know what,
Uncle Kyle?
132
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:43,717
I didn't wanna have
to do this,
133
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:44,785
but if you don't help us out,
134
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:47,220
I will never hem
your fireman pants again.
135
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:49,222
But I'm odd-shaped.
136
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:51,559
With my wide hips
and my crazy inseam,
137
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:52,793
I can't go
to a regular tailor.
138
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,395
Well, that's not
my problem.
139
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:55,863
Fine.
140
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,130
When are we talking?
141
00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:59,299
Tomorrow night.
Ah, can't do it.
142
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,668
Oh, crap.
Oh, sorry.
143
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:01,935
I was looking at 2014.
144
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,036
I'm back in.
145
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:06,540
**
146
00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:07,841
Kevin:
147
00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:09,710
Hey, Rootger.
148
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,311
Okay, you caught me.
149
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,313
I was trying
to read the magazine.
150
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,515
W
151
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,550
Okay,
you beat it out of me!
152
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,787
The article
they did on us.
153
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:20,988
You're not going
to like it.
154
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:26,960
"Vanessa Cellucci, the gutsy,
street-smart former cop
155
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,796
who runs Monkey Fist.
156
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,498
She's charming,
she's sassy as"...
157
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,132
Is this -- Is this whole thing
about Vanessa?
158
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,635
No, you're in there.
Halfway down.
159
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,203
"Vanessa has
a motley crew of assistants.
160
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:37,571
There's Kevin Gable,
161
00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:40,273
the husky, hyperactive guy
who never stops talk--"
162
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,543
Husky?
What am I, 12?
163
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:43,911
Hey, guys. What's up?
164
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:44,845
Oh, nothing.
165
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,246
Just playing
a little game
166
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,982
called "Find Kevin
in the Magazine Article."
167
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,784
I don't seem to be
in here at all.
168
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,285
Hey, maybe I'm
in a picture.
169
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:54,888
Oh, yeah, there I am.
Nope. That's the printer.
170
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:59,427
Look, she wanted to do
an article about me.
171
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:02,696
I didn't know
what to say, okay?
172
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,834
Here's what you say --
We're partners, okay?
173
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,669
I'm not
your "husky assistant."
174
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:09,970
And by the way,
I've lost weight.
175
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,539
I don't know
if you noticed at all,
176
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:13,741
but I've been hitting the gym
like three, four times a week.
177
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,443
Not this week,
'cause I tweaked my back,
178
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,511
but next week, I'll probably
hit it four or five, maybe,
179
00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:20,013
depending on
how busy Thursday is.
180
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,215
Did you even read
the article?
181
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:23,250
I mean, look.
182
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,952
"Forty under Forty:
183
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:27,888
Up and Coming Business Owners
of Long Island."
184
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,957
"Forty under Forty"?
Yes!
185
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,893
40 entrepreneurs
that are under 40.
186
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:35,863
So obviously
I had to leave you out.
187
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,731
But you're over 40.
188
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,332
Right, yes.
189
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:41,134
Okay.
By a couple of years.
190
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:44,304
You're over 45
by a couple of years.
191
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:47,007
By the way, people mistake me
for being under 40 all the time.
192
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:47,875
Oh, really? Name one.
193
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,543
Uh, how about Freddy
at the car wash?
194
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:51,645
Just this morning, he was like,
"What are you "
195
00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:53,747
And I'm like,
"No, but thank you, Fred."
Mm.
196
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:55,749
These eye crinkles
that you got going on?
197
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:56,750
Dead giveaway.
198
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,085
My eye crinkles?
Yes.
199
00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,920
By the way, what do you got
going on the side of your eyes?
200
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,021
'Cause if you're done
using 'em,
201
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,089
I'd like
to rake the leaves.
202
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,957
That's what I like to do
with those.
203
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:07,595
Okay,
before this turns ugly --
204
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:10,063
or just after --
205
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,165
I am sorry that I went
behind your back, okay?
206
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,433
Okay. Yes.
207
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,769
This article can really put
Monkey Fist on the map.
208
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,337
And I agree.
All right, look.
209
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:20,508
I'm sorry I said the comment
about your eye crinkles
210
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:21,842
and -- and
your turkey-neck thing.
211
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,011
Turkey neck?
What turkey
212
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,614
I never said that out loud,
did I?
No, you did not.
213
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,249
Point is, I'm sorry. That's
what I'm basically saying.
214
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,018
Okay.
I'm sorry.
215
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,420
You should stop talking
at this point.
Okay. Yeah, good point. Okay.
216
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,996
Here is the Casey file.
217
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:46,466
Anything else you need
from your husky assistant?
218
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,603
Oh, come on.
I thought you let this go.
219
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:50,671
Let what go?
220
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:54,041
It was one article
in a local magazine.
221
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,509
Nobody cares.
222
00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:57,044
Hey, where do you want me
to hang this up?
No, no.
223
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,146
No, no, no, no, no.
224
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,581
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
It's nothing.
225
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:01,682
What's that?
It's nothing.
226
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:04,084
Everybody in the article
got a plaque. It's...
227
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:05,252
Okay, can I see that,
please?
Yeah.
228
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,587
Thank you. Oh!
229
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,121
Wait a minute.
"Vanessa Cellucci.
230
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:11,358
Founder and C.E.O.,
Monkey Fist Security.
231
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:12,593
'Forty under Forty.'"
232
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,161
I don't see my name on here.
233
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:17,831
I guess that's all right,
'cause it's a plaque of lies!
234
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,466
Come on.
You're just jealous now.
235
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,401
J
Are you kidd--
236
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,770
Let me set something
straight here.
237
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,304
Do you have any idea
how many plaques
238
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,706
I turn down
on a daily basis?
239
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,174
Uh, probably none?
240
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,209
Wha-- No. No. No.
241
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,678
A lot, right?
242
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,179
A lot. Yeah, yeah.
Really?
243
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,313
But you know what I do?
244
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,048
I turn them down
because I'm a team player.
245
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,383
Mm.
That's -- Yeah.
246
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,552
But now that I know that
we're lone wolves in this thing,
247
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:40,353
maybe I'll reconsider
my policy.
248
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:41,622
Okay.
Change it up, right?
249
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:43,624
Fine with me.
Start taking 'em.
250
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:46,694
Plaque it up, buddy.
I -- Oh, I will.
251
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:47,795
I will. I will.
252
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:50,163
Good. I don't care.
I really don't.
253
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,464
All right.
Who cares about this?
254
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:53,300
It's not even
a caring-about thing.
Okay.
255
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:56,403
Hey, Rootger.
256
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:59,673
When I say stuff like
"I get plaques offered daily,"
257
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,709
gonna need you
to back me up, okay?
258
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,078
Then we need
some sort of signal, guy.
259
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:07,047
'Cause I never know
what's going on.
260
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,217
**
261
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:13,253
So, Tracy, do you know
what you'd like to eat?
262
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:16,456
Yeah.
How 'bout some tequila shots?
263
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:19,693
Get this party started.
264
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:20,928
Wow.
265
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,763
Chale told me you were
a bit of a wild child.
266
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:23,797
Well, I'm on holiday.
267
00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:25,799
Just wanna get
a little crazy.
268
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,467
I guess
I'm with the wrong guy.
269
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,537
I can get a little cray cray.
270
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,707
Yeah, just last week
at Karaoke, I sang a duet.
271
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,743
By myself.
272
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:37,010
Do you want to take a minute
273
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,546
and think about
what you just said?
274
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,481
I do not.
Oh, I get it.
275
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:44,417
They stuck me with you
because you're a wet blanket.
276
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:46,253
I am a firefighter.
277
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,255
Sometimes the only thing
between life and death
278
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:49,522
is a wet blanket.
279
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:52,592
I know your type.
280
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:53,627
Creature of habit,
281
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:56,496
going day to day
without really living.
282
00:09:56,529 --> 00:10:01,835
But deep inside,
there's a young, fearless...
283
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,004
What's your name again?
Kyle.
284
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,839
A young, fearless Kyle,
285
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:08,475
wishing he'd taken
more risks in life.
286
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,543
Wow, you're good.
287
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,980
**
288
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,247
No, no, no.
289
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,983
I, uh --
I understand, Father Philip.
290
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,251
You don't give out plaques
for attending Mass.
291
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,653
Yep.
292
00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:21,054
I-I respect that.
I do.
293
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,422
It's just that --
You know what it is?
294
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,957
I've been really consistent
lately, and I -- Yep.
295
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:26,359
No, I got it. Yeah.
296
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:27,494
Yeah, it does go
against humility.
297
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:29,262
Yes.
298
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,464
Okay, see you Sunday.
Bye.
299
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:32,632
He said no.
300
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:34,467
All right, you know what?
301
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:37,637
I'm a Viking, and --
and Vikings don't give up.
302
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,506
Right? They throw on
their furry boots,
303
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,541
they strap on
their helmet with the horns
304
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:42,810
and the -- the metal piece
that comes out
305
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:45,512
and blocks the nose
right there, and they fight.
306
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,547
I'm getting myself
a plaque.
307
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,416
I'll go with you.
I love it.
308
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:52,219
Uh...I have to forward the
calls to my cellphone, though.
309
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,054
What was it again?
What it star
310
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:57,157
Uh, star-seven --
I'll see you in the car.
311
00:10:58,525 --> 00:10:59,927
I'm sorry.
312
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,261
Uh, the lady up there
313
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:04,531
said that this is the
Long Island Viking Society?
314
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:05,833
Yeah, yeah.
We used to have an office,
315
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,267
but it's super expensive,
316
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,670
so my mom was cool enough
to let us do it down here.
317
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,573
Uh, well, I'm Kevin.
This is Rootger.
318
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:16,143
Hey.
I'm Ragnar the Wise.
319
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,577
That's Jim the Red.
320
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,680
We got Medieval Mike,
and that there is Kimmy.
321
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:23,984
Hey, everybody.
322
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,152
Viking power.
323
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,553
I don't know.
Should I do, like, a sign?
324
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:27,855
Do you guys do, like,
something like that, or --
325
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:28,856
Oh, like a "V." Yeah!
Yeah.
326
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,791
We should do that.
Yeah.
327
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,125
Yeah.
Wow.
328
00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,460
Look at
that Nordic dome.
329
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,262
That's a Viking
if ever I've seen one.
330
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,997
Actually, I'm Dutch.
331
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:37,998
He's the Viking.
332
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,400
Oh. Okay.
Yeah.
333
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:44,571
Well, uh,
I hate to be that guy,
334
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:45,873
but I'm gonna need
to see some proof.
335
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,640
Oh! Yeah, no.
Way ahead of you.
336
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,977
Uh, here you go.
Right there.
337
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,645
Wow. 16%?
338
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,547
I'm only 14%.
Oh, no, no, no.
339
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,516
That's actually
my daughter's test.
340
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,018
I'm -- I'm 32%, so...
341
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:01,688
Shut. Up.
342
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,757
So, anyway, what do you guys
do at these meetings?
343
00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,893
You're looking at it.
344
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:08,728
Don't you do, like,
Viking stuff,
345
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,597
like, uh -- I don't know --
give out awards
346
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:11,664
or -- or plaques
or anything?
347
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:13,500
Sometimes we go to Chili's.
348
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,003
Let me ask you this.
349
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,838
You ever think about
giving out awards or plaques
350
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,640
or anything like that?
No, not really.
351
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,943
Okay, you know, I'm just gonna
stop beating around the bush,
352
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,012
and I think you guys
should give me a plaque.
353
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:27,514
What for?
Well, I don't know.
354
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:29,649
I mean, I came up with this
pretty much, right?
355
00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:31,651
And then, um, I'm 32%.
356
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,553
I'm kind of your leader,
in a way.
357
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,555
Uh...
Good stuff. Good stuff.
358
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:37,457
Right?
359
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,259
Well, uh, we don't have
any plaques,
360
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:42,495
but I might have a scroll of
valor laying around somewhere.
361
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:43,997
S
362
00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:45,132
Mm-hmm.
363
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,633
Get it.
364
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:48,435
**
365
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,571
-Hey, guys.
-Hey.
366
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,540
What's going on?
367
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:54,942
Mm, nothing.
368
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,576
Just hanging around.
369
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,378
Right?
370
00:12:58,411 --> 00:12:59,579
Okay.
371
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,481
Obviously you two morons
372
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,217
want to talk about that stupid
thing hanging on the wall.
373
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,219
What is it?
Oh, this?
374
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:09,422
Nothing. Just, uh,
my Scandinavian brethren
375
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,258
just bestowed upon me
376
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,493
the highest honor
for personal achievement,
377
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,795
but whatevs.
378
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:19,266
Okay, why do you have to make
everything a competition?
379
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,433
Me?!
Yeah.
380
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,701
You're the one
who started this, all right?
381
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,603
By doing that article
behind my back.
382
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,207
Okay. Again, I should've
told you about it.
383
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,541
I am sorry.
384
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:31,244
From now on, we do
everything together as a team.
385
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:32,745
Okay, yeah.
All right.
386
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,514
Thank you.
You're welcome.
387
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,249
Right after the ceremony,
we start fresh.
388
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,719
Ceremony?
Yeah.
389
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,554
There's a "Forty under Forty"
awards dinner,
390
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:42,522
and they asked me
to make a speech
391
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,257
after one of the honorees
was disqualified
392
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:47,394
'cause she wasn't really under
40, so it's just -- just...
393
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:50,663
You're not really
under 40.
394
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:51,899
Okay.
395
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,600
Totally different.
396
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,436
The girl was stupid enough to
post her birthday on Facebook.
397
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:59,572
Grandma deserved
what she got.
398
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:00,540
So, you're just gonna
get up there
399
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,309
and take the credit
for everything, right?
400
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,944
And you don't care
that I have something to say.
401
00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:05,578
'Cause I have a lot
of stories to tell.
Do you?
402
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:06,813
Heroic ones about me.
Yeah. I --
403
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,216
"Heroic" stuff?
Oh, yeah. Very heroic.
404
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:10,517
Okay. Like?
405
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,920
Okay, how 'bout the time we
were locked in a meat locker?
406
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,287
You remember that?
407
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,723
And -- Yeah, and I got us out
with a broom handle
408
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,358
and -- and --
and a stick of gum.
409
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,627
Okay.
You used the broom handle
410
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:23,463
to break the glass
while you were chewing gum.
411
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:26,299
Got us out, didn't I?
412
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,301
I'm doing this
for the team, okay?
413
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:30,537
There's -- There's gonna be
300 people there.
414
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:31,571
We all win.
415
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,540
Please,
stop being a baby now.
416
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,742
300, huh?
Yes.
417
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:38,345
Yeah, that's a --
418
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:43,250
That's a lot of eyeballs
looking down on someone who's...
419
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,285
not really under 40.
420
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,687
A lot of hot lights
and everything.
421
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,290
I'm just saying,
that's a lotta lotta.
422
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,093
You know?
423
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:54,928
Okay. I know
what you're trying to do.
424
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,596
I'm not trying
to do anything.
Not gonna work.
425
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,498
You know what?
I'm serious.
426
00:14:58,531 --> 00:14:59,967
I'm -- I'm sure you're
gonna be fine. I just --
427
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,101
I'm gonna be great.
Okay.
428
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,202
Thanks so much.
Yeah, all right.
429
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,237
Not worried about it, bud.
430
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:09,876
**
431
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,250
Oh. Whoa!
432
00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:19,286
Ooh.
Yeah, how's it look?
433
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:23,256
Am I, uh, a little too, uh,
male model
434
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:24,624
Hmm...
435
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,193
No, I don't think
that's gonna be an issue.
436
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,360
But you look good.
Yeah.
437
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,162
Oh! And you're finally
wearing the shirt
438
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:30,597
that I got you
for Father's Day!
439
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:31,631
Yeah, don't read into it.
440
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,934
The only shirt in my closet
with buttons.
441
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,003
Where are you going?
Ah.
442
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,704
Vanessa's winning
a stupid award,
443
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,306
so I gotta go
to some stupid hotel
444
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,975
and listen to her give
some stupid speech.
445
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:45,678
A better friend
there never was.
446
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,214
What's the award?
447
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,649
Ah, Long Island
business owners under 40.
448
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,051
Under 40 what?
449
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:53,086
Exactly.
450
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,354
**
451
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:55,755
Where is Vanessa?
452
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,690
She was supposed to be here
a half-hour ago.
453
00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,994
I have to say, coming here
to support Vanessa like this?
454
00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:04,231
Classy stuff.
It's something new
I'm working on.
455
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,499
You know -- putting
the needs of others before me.
456
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,001
Nice.
Did you get four shrimp?
457
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,270
'Cause I only got three.
458
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,171
I don't know.
459
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,806
But don't you?
I mean, I think you'd...
460
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,642
You'd know how many shrimp
you had, right?
461
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:17,744
Oh.
I think Vanessa's up next.
462
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:20,247
Ladies and gentlemen,
from Monkey Fist Security,
463
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,281
Vanessa Cellucci.
464
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,218
I didn't even get
a chance to talk to her.
465
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:27,587
I wanted to say I'm sorry
for what I did.
466
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,256
I'll just do it tomorrow.
467
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:30,957
We'll talk
face-to-fa-a-ce.
468
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:35,895
"Forty under Forty!"
469
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:38,698
We made it!
470
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,103
Whoo!
471
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:46,206
**
472
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:48,541
Guys, you gotta save me.
473
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,077
That chick
is more than a handful.
474
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:53,180
I'm talking about three
straight days of crazy here.
475
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:56,049
She made me drive through
the Holland Tunnel blindfolded.
476
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:57,517
They have cameras.
477
00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:00,053
Any idea what
that ticket's gonna be like?
478
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:01,288
I told you
this would happen.
479
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,223
She does this to men.
480
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,891
Yeah, yeah. I-I can't
hang out with her anymore.
481
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:07,760
I have a job, a pension,
model train set.
482
00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:09,296
I just ordered
new mountains.
483
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,498
I wanna be alive
when they arrive.
484
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,235
Oh, that's her!
485
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,142
-Hi.
-Hi, guys.
486
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:23,543
Oh, Aunt Tracy.
How are you?
487
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:24,544
Where's Kyle?
488
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,246
He's -- Oh, not here.
489
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,381
His Subaru
is parked out front.
490
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,183
Okay, look, Aunt Tracy.
491
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,852
The truth is,
Uncle Kyle really likes you,
492
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,221
and he thinks
you're a lot of fun.
493
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:37,090
I just think you might be
a little too much for him.
494
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,958
Oh.
That's too bad.
495
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:42,129
He was such a sport,
doing all the things I wanted.
496
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:45,332
I thought I'd surprise him
with two V.I.P. tickets
497
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:48,101
to the model train show
at the Javits Center.
498
00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:49,169
Oh, well.
499
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:50,670
I'm back in.
500
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,071
Forget what I said.
501
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:54,341
Those tickets
are impossible to get.
502
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,143
We're going to make
a quick pit stop.
503
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:57,510
Great. Where?
504
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,212
Atlantic City.
505
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,183
**
506
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:07,187
You may be wondering
how I got here.
507
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,188
Do you think
there's any way
508
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,956
they can turn down
the lights a little?
509
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,358
Just focus on her ear.
510
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:14,361
It's the only part
that still seems human.
511
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,963
Uh, luck and persever--
512
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:19,499
pers-- persev...
513
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,202
persever-- perseverance.
514
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:26,506
One second.
515
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,210
Mm!
516
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,416
All right, I can't.
I can't do this.
517
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,950
I have to be honest
with all of you.
518
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:41,053
What -- What Vanessa's
not being honest about
519
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:44,257
is the fact that she went
undercover this afternoon
520
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:45,558
at the Long Beach Aquarium,
521
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:50,697
and a jellyfish just
attached itself to her face.
522
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,401
And I'm guessing laid
quite a bit of eggs.
Okay.
523
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,102
Uh, but...
524
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,671
but she still wanted
to power through
525
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:01,508
and be here for you tonight,
and she did.
526
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,709
And I got to say,
that's a --
527
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:05,077
That's a true mark
of bravery right there.
528
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:07,247
Let's hear it
for Vanessa Cellucci.
529
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,249
Vanessa Cellucci, huh?
530
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:10,383
Yeah.
531
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:15,121
Yeah.
532
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,789
You know,
speaking of bravery...
533
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:17,890
No, no, no.
Yeah, don't...
534
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,592
No, no.
535
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,661
Let me tell you about
a story of one man's quest
536
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,129
to get himself out
of a meat locker
537
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,265
with nothing
but a piece of gum
538
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,133
and a broomstick handle.
539
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,868
**
540
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:36,409
**
541
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,981
Hey. Pretty nice night
after all, huh?
542
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,416
Oh, okay.
543
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:44,917
Your...story --
544
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:45,952
Your st-- Okay.
545
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,387
Your story...
I'm -- Ye-- Oh.
546
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,389
Your -- You don't get --
I'm -- I'm not
getting any of it.
547
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,390
You're not? Okay.
Yeah.
548
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,992
Okay. Oh. Oh.
Mm.
549
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:56,429
Man: Your story went on
and on. And on. And on.
550
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:57,464
Oh, really?
551
00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:58,965
Well, it seemed like
the whole crowd enjoyed it.
552
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,401
Oh, please.
So boring.
553
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,636
Z-Z-Z-Z-Z.
554
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:05,472
All right.
555
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,974
I don't need
any of this crap.
556
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:09,442
I'll just go
in the other room.
557
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:10,543
Fine.
Fine.
558
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:11,711
Fine.
Fine!
559
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:13,012
Fine.
560
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:19,486
Kevin.
561
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,422
Kevin.
562
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:25,191
Kevin. Kevin.
563
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,593
Kevin. Kevin.
564
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:29,429
Kevin. Kevin. Kevin.
What?!
565
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:31,764
Thank you.
566
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,667
Look.
567
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,769
You don't have to thank me,
all right?
568
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,871
And by the way,
I got to tell you,
569
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,540
you don't need
any of this stuff.
570
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,475
You look fine without it.
571
00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:44,911
Really?
Yes, really.
572
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:49,316
I'm trying so hard to smile,
but I don't think I can.
573
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:53,520
Oh, let's just get
back to work, then.
574
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:56,723
* Don't want no sweet perfume
575
00:20:56,756 --> 00:21:00,393
* Shake your thing,
go bust your move *
576
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,629
* Do, do, do, do, do
577
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,063
* Do, do, do, do
578
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:07,634
* Ohhhhhh, yeah
579
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,703
* Don't want
no high-heel shoes *
580
00:21:10,737 --> 00:21:13,573
* I just don't want no...
38776
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