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1
00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:04,438
Hey. Eggnog's ready.
Oh.
2
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,440
I put some brandy in,
3
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,776
not knowing Kendra
had already
added some rum.
4
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,979
Bottom line, it's gonna be
a very merry Christmas.
5
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:16,050
I could go for a little nog
after setting up those lights.
6
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,851
Jack, you're too young.
It's only for us adults.
7
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:20,488
Ah! Nice try, Sara.
8
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:23,191
Come on, there's kid eggnog
in the fridge.
9
00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:24,692
Let me
get this straight.
10
00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,894
You really
didn't get me a gift?
You're kidding, right?
11
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,762
No. We said
we weren't exchanging.
12
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:30,364
Yeah, but I thought we were
doing the thing where we say
13
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:32,566
we're not getting gifts,
but we do anyway.
14
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,768
Then you thought wrong.
15
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,537
Well, still,
I got you one.
16
00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:37,671
I don't want it.
17
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,173
It's a gift.
You got to take it.
18
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,509
Says who?
Says the rules.
19
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:45,546
Look, I, I got you one.
Now I want mine.
20
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:47,047
Well, then take the one
you were gonna give me
21
00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:48,316
and give it to yourself.
22
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,351
No!
I don't want golf balls!
23
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,054
By the way,
I got you golf balls.
24
00:00:56,023 --> 00:01:01,095
* I am not your
ordinary guy *
25
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,896
Hey, how we lookin' on
the lights, people?
26
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,765
We are good to go,
Mr. Gable.
27
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:06,534
All right, Jackie boy,
hit it.
28
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,602
Hey, hey!
Yeah!
29
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:09,670
There you go.
30
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,172
So, can we open
our presents now?
31
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:15,209
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Slow your roll, playa,
all right?
32
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:17,778
You know the rule.
Every Christmas Eve...
33
00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:19,247
We get one gift
from Santa.
34
00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:22,049
That's right,
and I hand them out.
Let's do it.
35
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,484
So you're saying
you're Santa?
36
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,953
No, I'm saying I'm the guy
in charge of handing out...
37
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:27,087
Do you want
to play this game?
38
00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:29,157
I do not.
Yeah.
39
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:32,126
Come in!
40
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:34,895
Hey.
Hey.
41
00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:36,964
Merry Christmas,
everybody.
42
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:39,933
I just wanted to drop a few
gifts off for the kids.
43
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,569
All right,
well, take a seat.
44
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,437
Come on. Yeah, what can we
get you to drink?
45
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,539
You want an eggnog?
A hot toddy?
46
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:46,674
What, do you have
a hot toddy?
47
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,342
I don't.
I-I just like saying it.
48
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,378
Hot toddy?
Anybody for a hot toddy?
49
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,980
Anybody
50
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:56,016
I do it every year.
Every year, I toddy it up.
51
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:57,718
That's cute.
No, I... I'm good.
52
00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,787
I just want to get home
and get into my PJs.
53
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,722
Wait. What?
But it's Christmas Eve.
54
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,257
Yeah.
It's kind of my thing.
55
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:05,393
You know,
I turn on my fake fireplace,
56
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:10,231
have some wine, karaoke
Donna Summer until I pass out.
57
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:12,566
All right, look,
it's not up for discussion.
You're staying.
58
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,968
Chale, can you do me a favor?
Can you get her a nog?
59
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,737
Come on.
All right.
Thank you.
60
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:17,871
Oh, I almost forgot.
61
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,373
Got you
a little something.
62
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,310
Ah. What is this?
63
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,011
A box of doughnuts?
64
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,079
Yeah, from the night
we met.
I'm confused.
65
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,049
Christmas Eve.
Thank you.
23 years ago.
66
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:32,453
Oh, that's why
the doughnuts.
67
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,455
I still don't get it.
68
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:35,789
How do you not get it?
69
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,825
If I say I get it,
can I just...
Can I eat the doughnuts?
70
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:41,094
I am talking about the night
we became partners.
71
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,763
I... I'm blanking.
72
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,465
Okay.
73
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:47,801
We were rookies.
We got stuck working together.
74
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,102
I... Really?
75
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:54,908
Hey. How you doing?
Vanessa Cellucci.
76
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,777
Kevin Gable.
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
77
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,347
Oh.
Happens to all of us.
78
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,581
Excuse me.
Yeah.
79
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,151
Car 217.
Uh, in service.
80
00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:06,654
Sorry for the delay.
Was awaiting partner.
81
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,989
We're moving now.
15 minutes late.
82
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:11,559
Due to Cellucci.
83
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:12,893
Ready to do this?
84
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,027
Wow.
85
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,263
One second.
86
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:17,731
(SIREN CHIRPING ERRATICALLY,
BUTTONS CLICKING)
87
00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:20,934
What...
88
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:22,336
What are you...
What are you doing?
89
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:25,506
Just testing the equipment.
I like to give it a
roundabout.
90
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:27,841
I'm pretty...
I'm pretty sure it works.
91
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:30,344
I'll decide if
and when she works.
92
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,681
It works.
93
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,783
Thank you.
I feel so much safer now.
94
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,151
Sandwich?
No, thanks.
95
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,787
Training. For the NFL.
96
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,658
Oh, you're serious.
97
00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:46,660
Deadly.
98
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,497
So, that's your plan?
Professional football player?
99
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,898
That is the plan.
100
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:53,867
Epic 10-year career
on the gridiron,
101
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,570
then circle it back
to law enforcement.
102
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,840
FBI or
this stays in the car...
103
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,475
CIA.
104
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,545
This doesn't
stay in the car.
105
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,213
You're outta your mind.
106
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:08,816
You know what?
This engine is fueled
107
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,752
by other people's put-downs,
so just keep me gassed up.
108
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:13,554
It's fine.
All right.
109
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:16,890
Come on.
110
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:20,594
Um, what are you...
What are you doing?
111
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,262
Just these pagers.
112
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:25,466
Sometimes you got to move 'em
around to get a signal.
113
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,968
Um, that's not how it works,
but okay.
114
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:30,371
You know what? If you're gonna
keep staring at that thing
115
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:34,241
while you're behind the wheel,
you might as well
let me drive.
116
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:36,276
Why would I do that?
117
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:39,613
Everybody already knows
I'm the best wheelman
at the precinct.
118
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,483
Well, that changes now.
119
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,485
'Cause I'm here.
120
00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:47,555
Oh, right.
Forgot, 1994.
121
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:50,057
Women's lib.
122
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,461
Whatever you want
to call it,
123
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:55,729
I'm just...
I'm a better driver.
124
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,331
You're...
You're a better driver?
125
00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,533
I'm a better driver.
Okay. Okay.
126
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,801
O-Okay.
127
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,169
All right, you know what?
128
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:03,571
We could just
settle this right now.
129
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,738
You want to do it now?
130
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,139
Yeah,
before the Jets call
131
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,509
and your big football career
takes off, of course.
132
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:09,643
I mean...
133
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,212
Let's do this.
134
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,314
Wait, was he really
that annoying?
135
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:16,350
I haven't even gotten
to the annoying part yet.
136
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,586
Please, it's called
being a good cop.
137
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,154
Yeah, great story.
Can I have my present now?
138
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:23,123
Jack take it easy.
139
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,892
It's Christmas, I'm 12.
140
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,126
I wanna open something.
141
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:28,261
All right, here you guys go.
Okay?
142
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,997
Now, please tell me
you're not doing that thing
143
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,899
where you give us a bad gift
and then the good gifts.
144
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,100
No, I'm not doing anything.
145
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,135
I'm just following
Santa's instructions.
146
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,671
Batteries?
I got the same thing.
147
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:40,207
Oh. I guess that's what
you guys got this year.
148
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,442
Enjoy it!
149
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:43,711
Dad, I hate this game.
150
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,513
Can we just go ahead
and get the good gift?
151
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,615
Okay, right there, see,
that is the poor attitude,
because you know what?
152
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,818
You never know
what those batteries
might be for!
153
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,119
Huh?
154
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,823
A drone! What?
155
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:58,058
Headphones! Thank you.
156
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,393
But these
don't need batteries.
157
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,761
Classic fake-out.
158
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,630
Okay, back to the story.
159
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,532
I'm still confused.
Where do the doughnuts
come in?
160
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,166
I am getting to that.
161
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:07,267
You ready?
162
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:10,704
Pfft. Born.
163
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,172
All right,
before we do this, what...
164
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:13,774
What is the deal
with the pager?
165
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,410
It's a private matter,
all right?
166
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:17,711
It doesn't pertain to you.
167
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:19,613
It's a girl.
I didn't say that.
168
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,014
You didn't have to.
What's her name?
169
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:24,885
If you must know,
her name's Nunya.
170
00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:27,220
Nunya?
Nunya business.
171
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:28,689
Now get to driving.
172
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,524
All right, buckle up.
173
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,998
Slow down a little bit.
Getting a little...
getting a little unsafe.
174
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,301
Pull up your skirt, Mary.
175
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,885
Okay. All right.
176
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,587
Okay, wait!
177
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:03,390
Slow down!
178
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,195
Okay!
179
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:12,700
Big finish!
180
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:13,801
No, no, no!
181
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:22,009
And...there.
182
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,844
You said something
about my driving?
183
00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:28,982
Oh, sounds like
Ms. Vanessa
184
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:32,620
has some mad skills
behind the wheel, yo.
185
00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:38,559
Sorry, I was trying out
a new thing.
186
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,662
Wow, Dad.
So she beat you?
187
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:45,432
Look at me.
You think she's gonna beat me?
188
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:47,635
Can you just
drive already?
189
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,436
Gonna give you a little
Knight Rider
190
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:52,740
with a splash of
Beverly Hills Cop II.
191
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,374
Okay.
By the way,
how's it taste?
192
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:55,509
How does what taste?
193
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,344
Muh dust!
194
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,371
And that's
how it's done, son.
195
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,007
Car's rolling.
What's that?
196
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,909
Car...is...rolling.
197
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,220
You drove a cop car
into a ditch?
198
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:43,156
No, what happened
was my driving was sick.
199
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,258
And then I got out
of the car and, yeah,
200
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,460
i-it rolled into a ditch.
So that did... It happened.
201
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,062
All right, you know what?
Let's just, uh,
keep in moving.
202
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,330
What do you say
203
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:52,132
Uh, Kendra and Chale,
here you go.
204
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,101
Oh! Thank you.
Huh?
205
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:57,905
Oh, batteries.
I love it.
206
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,673
I wonder what
these could go with.
207
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,174
Oh, no.
You're doing it wrong.
208
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,176
It's supposed to be,
"Ooh, batteries! I love it.
209
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:04,712
"I wonder what these
could go with."
210
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,515
Oh, what
211
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,450
This is actually awesome.
Thank you, Dad.
212
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:11,952
Yeah.
213
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,354
Oh, a power strip!
214
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:16,724
I wonder what I could
plug into this.
215
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,894
Whatever you want, guy.
216
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:24,965
So, excuse me. Will there...
There will be a
companion gift?
217
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,300
No. That's all Santa
wanted you to have.
218
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:31,504
He knows you're into
electronics and pluggy things,
so go crazy.
219
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,606
Oh.
220
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:35,375
Oh, uh, there is
a surge protector,
221
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:37,144
so that's very thoughtful.
222
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,545
Thank you.
KEVIN:
You're very welcome.
223
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:39,647
All right. Come on.
Dad.
224
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,348
What? He's happy.
KYLE: Hold up.
225
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,151
So, Chale gets an
awesome power strip,
and I get nothin'?
226
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:45,786
This is a joke.
227
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:51,424
Uh, okay, so what happened
with the car in the ditch?
Did Dad get in trouble?
228
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:53,894
Uh, well,
you could say that.
229
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:57,230
Well, sir, currently the car
is un-driveable.
230
00:09:57,297 --> 00:10:00,834
I don't know.
You might have to talk
to Officer Gable about that.
231
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:03,871
Yes, he is.
He is so that.
232
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,675
He is so that.
233
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,343
Okay,
thank you so much, sir.
234
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,412
They can't get to us
for another couple of hours.
235
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,614
Okay, what was all that about?
You sold me out?
236
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,249
Oh, yeah.
You see how it feels?
237
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:19,219
"Uh, we're a minute late
because of Cellucci.
Uh, 215..."
238
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,721
All right. Fine.
239
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,055
We're even, okay?
All right.
240
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,490
It doesn't matter anyway.
241
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,659
I called my brother. He's got
a truck with a winch on it.
242
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,494
He can pull us
out of the ditch.
How long?
243
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:28,796
I don't know,
about an hour.
244
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:31,164
Ugh.
So, we're stuck here.
245
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:34,067
Let's see, I might do
a little moo shu pork.
246
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:37,104
That sounds good.
Or a little beef lo mein.
247
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,573
You know, maybe
I'll get insane
in the lo mein.
248
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:42,409
Ooh.
249
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,577
Ooh, I didn't see you,
number 13
250
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,180
with your spicy noodles
coming 'round the outside,
251
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,082
'round the outside.
252
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:52,419
What are you gonna get?
Soup.
253
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,787
Soup.
254
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,824
Oh, boy.
255
00:10:56,890 --> 00:11:00,093
Okay, you know what? I have
spent about an hour with you,
256
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,030
and I-I pretty much understand
why she is not paging you.
257
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,365
I don't even know
if they know we're here.
I'll be right back.
258
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:07,500
This guy is killing me.
259
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,371
Hey, sir, can we,
uh, get a waiter...
260
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,173
I'm sorry, sir,
it's $8.50.
261
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,508
If you don't have it,
you gotta go.
262
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:17,177
Well, you can take
the won tons out.
263
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,112
How much then?
How much then?
264
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,214
You know what?
Do me a favor.
265
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,084
Um, you can just put that
on our tab.
266
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,219
Oh, thank you very much.
267
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,021
Yeah, no problem.
And, hey, here.
268
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,790
Have a merry Christmas,
okay?
269
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,327
Can you get us a waitress
over there? Thanks.
270
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,529
Dad, that's so sweet
you helped that guy out.
271
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:37,865
Yeah, he gave him $18.
272
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:40,033
$18?
That's a weird amount.
273
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:43,570
Well,
that's all he had on him.
He gave him every penny.
274
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:47,140
And that's when I realized
that your dad was
a decent guy.
275
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,376
I mean, he's done a lot
of other stuff since then
276
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,311
to reverse that, but...
277
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,482
Yeah, kinda like now.
278
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:56,950
Why would you
do that to Chale?
279
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,219
Oh, no, darling.
I love this.
280
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:01,254
It... It has seven plugs.
281
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,090
That's like seven
different gifts.
Mm-hmm.
282
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,393
Well, if you don't say
something, I will.
283
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:09,029
I don't want
to ruin Christmas.
284
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:12,732
Okay, uh, Vanessa,
we have a homeless man,
285
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,035
$18, and a car in a ditch.
286
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:17,570
I'm all in. Let's go.
287
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,907
Where is this brother
of yours?
288
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:23,043
Well,
he's getting off of work.
He'll be here soon.
289
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:26,179
Oh, yeah.
Fortune cookies.
290
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,681
I wonder what
my future holds.
291
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,417
Yeah.
What does yours say?
292
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,619
"Always make sure your car
is in park"?
293
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,087
Ha!
294
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,923
Come on, man.
That's funny.
295
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:40,027
"All your fingers
can't be the same length."
296
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,895
What? I don't even know
what that means.
297
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:44,264
All right, you know, this one,
this one is yours.
Okay.
298
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,836
Oh, my God,
again with the pager?
299
00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:50,904
What is it with this girl?
All right, look.
300
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,540
I met her last week
at Mulcahy's, all right?
301
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,309
We connected. I'm...
I'm waiting for her to call.
302
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:57,644
So call her.
303
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,047
I don't have her number.
She asked for mine.
304
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,648
Oh, boy.
305
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:03,616
But it's a good thing.
306
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:06,119
Yeah, no.
No, it's not a good thing.
307
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,855
Okay, walk me
through the night
that you met her.
308
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:10,824
All right, well, first off,
I walked up to the bar,
309
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:14,828
saw my buddy Scotty
and was like, "Wazaaaaaa."
310
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:18,598
And he was like,
"Wazaaaaa."
311
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:22,602
I saw my buddy Gerard,
he was like, "Wazaaa..."
312
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:24,471
Okay. Okay, all right.
313
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,506
Not the...
I don't need the whole...
the whole night.
314
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:29,176
Just get to the part where you
talked to her, please.
315
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,144
Okay, so I, I
walk up to her...
Yeah.
316
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:34,681
And I thought about saying,
"Wazaaaa," but I didn't.
317
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,416
Good. Good call.
318
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,518
I decided right then
I was gonna just say,
319
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,153
"You look nice."
320
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,822
And, uh,
I, I bought her a drink.
321
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,724
Okay.
And then, uh, you know,
322
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:46,459
she asked me
if I was seeing anybody.
323
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,929
And I said,
"Uh, nobody serious."
324
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:50,297
Oh, boy.
What?
325
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:52,900
I wanted to let her know
I had other fish on the line.
326
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,467
Do you have other fish
on the line?
327
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,103
I might.
You never know.
328
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,404
Do you have other fish
on the line?
329
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:58,571
It depends on
how you categorize...
Okay.
330
00:13:58,638 --> 00:13:59,739
Do you have other fish
on the line?
331
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:01,841
Just answer the question!
No! I don't.
332
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:05,678
I don't know why guys do this.
This never works.
333
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,380
I hate to be
the bearer of bad news,
334
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,749
but this girl is never
going to call you.
335
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,618
Like, ever.
336
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,254
This is the saddest
Christmas story ever.
337
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,156
No, you sitting there
with a power strip,
338
00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:17,357
not speaking your mind
339
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,226
is the saddest
Christmas story ever.
340
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,661
You know what?
I can't take it.
No, no. Darling. Darling...
341
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,130
Dad, you need to understand
something.
342
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,098
Darling, darling. Don't.
She's three eggnogs in.
No.
343
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,599
Everybody in the family
344
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,535
gets a bad gift
and then a good gift.
345
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,770
Chale's in the family,
and all he got was a bad one.
346
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:33,106
Really? Well,
maybe you wanna look again.
347
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,075
Oh, he's right.
348
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,709
We may need
to return this.
349
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,578
It's only for use
in Europe.
350
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,347
Why would Santa
give you something
351
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,749
you can only use in Europe?
Weird.
352
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:46,719
I don't know. I, I just wish
none of this was happening.
353
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:50,357
Maybe because he's giving you
a trip...to Italy!
354
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:52,525
What?
Uh!
355
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,061
You're both going
to the honeymoon
356
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:56,329
you never had in Rome,
okay?
357
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,898
Oh! Thank you, Dad!
All right? Okay.
358
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,067
Ahh!
359
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,135
It's Christmas.
Just make it fast.
360
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,071
All right, there you go.
There you go.
361
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,306
Rome, huh? Fancy.
362
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,711
Hold on. Wait a second.
I just thought of something.
363
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,981
Mulcahy's?
Didn't you meet Mom
at Mulcahy's?
364
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,148
I did.
365
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:17,284
So, she's the girl
in the story?
366
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,419
Yep.
367
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:23,890
Oh, this story just got
mad interesting, yo.
368
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,562
I tried it again. I thought
the second time would save it.
369
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,798
It didn't. It doesn't work.
It doesn't.
370
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,436
All right,
you're good to go.
371
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,938
Hey, never doubt the power
of the Suzuki Samurai.
372
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:40,974
More than just
a chick magnet.
373
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,176
Thanks.
Now I'm gonna
do you a favor.
374
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:44,644
Hey, dude,
what are you...
375
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:46,113
How'd you know
that was a clip
376
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,180
I didn't.
377
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:52,052
Wow. What's the deal
with this little filly?
378
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,721
Eh, a little thick on the
bottom. I'm diggin' it.
379
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,290
Kyle Gable. FDNY.
380
00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:59,659
Vanessa Cellucci. NGH.
381
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,861
NGH?
Never gonna happen.
382
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:06,166
Wazaaa!
383
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,271
You know what?
Car's been in a ditch
for a couple hours.
384
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:12,939
Probably should test
the equipment,
385
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:14,074
make sure
it's operational.
386
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,976
Touch the sirens
and I cut your hand off.
387
00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:19,612
I'm sure it's fine.
388
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,114
So this girl,
you really like her, huh?
389
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,418
I don't know, just, uh,
390
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,355
something different about her.
391
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,123
I know
it's gonna sound crazy,
392
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,092
but I just think
she might...
393
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,462
She might be the one.
I don't know.
394
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,998
Okay. And your plan
to get her is what?
395
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:40,933
Sit back and wait for her
to call you?
396
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,070
You know, when you say it like
that, it sounds kinda lame.
397
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,038
Yeah, okay.
398
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:48,141
What're you doing?
Okay, we're here.
Get out.
399
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:51,111
We're where?
Your girl's house.
400
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:54,747
You told me her name,
so I ran it through dispatch.
401
00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:56,549
There were two.
One was 96.
402
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:58,551
Now, I don't know your type,
but I...
403
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:00,653
I took a guess and went
with the younger one.
404
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,493
Okay. So, this is the part
where you get out
405
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,827
and you go up there.
406
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,629
Yeah, I am. Okay?
I am. I...
407
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,164
I'm gonna go.
I'm just gonna...
408
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:13,133
Just gonna...
409
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:18,638
Hiyah.
La la la la. Laaa.
410
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,006
Buy me a red
leather yellow...
411
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:22,142
Okay.
Yeah, I'm...
I'm gonna go, okay?
412
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:24,811
I'm just... You just got
to give me a second.
413
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:30,950
Yaaaa. Yaaaa.
414
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:33,420
You're not singing
the National Anthem,
415
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,422
you're just going
to talk to a girl.
416
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,056
Now let's go.
I'm going, okay?
417
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,858
Just, would you gimme
a second, please?
418
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:40,460
Wow. You are scared.
419
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:42,395
I'm not...
I'm not scared, okay?
420
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:44,997
There's a lot of pressure,
and I don't want to look bad.
421
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,100
Yeah, that's scared.
422
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:51,504
Now, come on.
We drove all the way here.
423
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:54,174
One of us is leaving with
this girl's phone number.
424
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:58,178
And I guess
it's gonna be me.
425
00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,646
Where you go...
Where you going?
426
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,214
Hey! Hey!
427
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,082
Put in a good word for me!
428
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,552
Okay, wait.
So, if Vanessa hadn't
dragged you over there,
429
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,320
you and Mom would've never
gotten together?
430
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,689
Yes. Yes!
Oh, my God.
431
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,091
So, all of this?
You are welcome.
432
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:14,093
Oh, are you...
Are you out of
your mind
433
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:15,228
No, I'm the one
who got us together.
434
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,996
She just...
She set the table.
435
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,766
So what happened?
All right, you're fine.
436
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:20,967
All you gotta do
is go up there.
437
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,335
What...
What'd you say?
438
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:23,936
Well, I told her
you were an idiot.
439
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,037
What?
440
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,707
Uh, trust me,
that was not breaking news.
441
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,975
Why would you
say that?
442
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,378
Okay, but then
I told her
443
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,846
that underneath
all that stupidity,
444
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,882
there's like...
three more layers
of bad stuff,
445
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,017
but underneath all that,
446
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:39,719
there's actually
a decent guy under there,
447
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,087
and she should
give you a shot.
448
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,457
You really
said that about me?
Yeah.
449
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,593
And then we talked about
the night you guys met
450
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:50,630
and how you did this weird,
crinkled eyebrow thing
451
00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,232
with the muddle mouth.
452
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:53,666
I don't know
what you're talking about.
I don't even do that.
453
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:54,767
She...kind of like it.
454
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,669
Really?
Yeah.
455
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,137
That's the one.
That is.
456
00:18:58,205 --> 00:18:59,672
There it is.
I can see it.
457
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,208
All right, well then I...
Yeah. I knew it worked.
458
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,709
Get up there.
Get up there.
All right, I'm going.
459
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,010
Hey. Cellucci, thank you.
460
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,111
You're welcome.
461
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:06,713
Oh, and that
muddle
462
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:09,148
Yeah.
Like,
small doses maybe.
463
00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:10,250
I disagree.
464
00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:18,458
I can't believe you forgot
everything Vanessa
did for you.
465
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,827
You're right.
I totally forgot.
466
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:24,697
Or...did I?
467
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,899
Stop. Come on.
468
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,303
"Vanessa, thanks for being
a great partner.
469
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:34,674
"And remember, all of
your fingers can't be
the same length. Kevin."
470
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:38,845
I also got you a gift card
for a mud-mask for your face.
471
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:41,748
Aww, guys,
this is actually
really sweet.
472
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,683
All right,
hold the phone.
473
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:46,786
Lest we forget,
without my Suzuki Samurai,
474
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,555
none of us would
be here right now.
475
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,657
And once again,
I've been overlooked.
476
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:53,260
Kyle, we made an agreement.
We're not exchanging gifts.
477
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,627
It was your idea!
478
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,563
All right, well, I'm leaving
with something, okay?
479
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:59,165
Uh,
these doughnuts right here?
Yeah, these are mine now.
480
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:02,769
Merry Christmas,
and to all a good night.
481
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,337
Peace out!
482
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:11,210
Vanessa,
you're blocking me in.
483
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:16,015
* Don't want no sweet perfume
484
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:19,686
* Shake your thing,
go bust your move
485
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,921
* Do, do, do, do, do
486
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,523
* Do, do, do, do
487
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:27,026
* Oh, yeah
488
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:30,162
* Don't want
no high-heel shoes
489
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,432
* I just don't want no...
33767
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