All language subtitles for Queer.Eye.2018.S01E04.WEB.x264.eng

♪ Come on and make some noise ♪

♪ Everybody get up Come on,
and give me some love ♪

[all cheering]

[Karamo] Party time, guys.
Guys, you realize this is the first party

we've been invited to while
we've been in Atlanta?

- So excited.
- Can't wait.

The guy that we're meeting today,
his name is Anthony "AJ" Brown.

He's from Atlanta, Georgia.
He is 32 years old.

His friend Al is the
one who nominated him.

He's the one who invited us to
this party, so we can surprise AJ.

- [woman] So, next up on the stage...
- AJ.

The salon is our pregame spot.
That's where our celebrations are

and where we start.
It's my sister's birthday.

Perfect opportunity for
the Fab 5 to see him.

I wanted to nominate AJ because he
needs work in a lot of different areas.

My name is AJ Brown.

I work as a civil engineer,
and I expand airports.

It's been an ongoing thing in our group that,
you know, I need a little help.

[Al] His home is very, very interesting.

His man cave is a cave.

'Cause in a cave you find a lot of
different things that don't belong.

There shouldn't be a tire in his closet.
AJ is not the most stylish.

I call him, like, a corny schoolboy.
I do see a difference

when he's just out on his own
and when he's out with us.

I am one person at work. I am a
different person around my family.

I'm a completely different person
at home. I have a boyfriend.

- Yeah.
- Yes, I love that.

- He is a catch.
- Congratulations, AJ.

- Good for him.
- He has a boyfriend named Drey,

but he keeps his love life private
to most because he's not openly gay.

- Ah.
- I'm lying to a lot of people.

- How much you want?
- All of it. [laughing]

At times I am very
self-conscious of looking gay,

or looking like, you know,
people can tell my preference

just by my clothes or, "Oh,
this is how gay people dress."

I still haven't come out to the
people I need to come out to.

One of AJ's biggest life regrets is not
coming out to his dad before he died.

- Aw.
- Since things are getting really serious

with Drey, he wants to come out to
his stepmom. That's really great.

Our mission is to help AJ come out to
his stepmom at the end of this week.

- Yeah. That's awesome.
- Yes.

♪ Better All things just
keep getting better ♪

[all shouting]

- Close.
- Got it.

Where is the salon?

♪ Shake your body, shake your body ♪

♪ Shake your body, oh, oh ♪

Oh, they are going in.

[all cheering and laughing]

- What's up?
- How are you doing?

- I'm good.
- Hi, Tan.

[Bobby] How about some booze?

- Jonathan brought the brownies.
- What kind of brownies are those?

- Nice jacket.
- [Karamo] Thank you.

Where's his man? Come here, come here.

- What's the favorite thing he wears?
- Nothing.

[laughing]

- He wears nothing? I appreciate that.
- He looks very starched.

- Yeah.
- In a can.

Yeah. This is amazing. I can't
believe I'm meeting you already.

- Love surprising you.
- Random.

- [Bobby] It's Al's fault.
- [Antoni] He set this up.

Absolutely.

[Photronique "Party All Night" playing]

♪ Put your hands up in the air
'Cause I'm bout to bring it on ♪

♪ It's a party over here ♪

♪ Catch me on the floor cutting some rug
Lookin' like whoa, do the jitterbug ♪

♪ Girls get low, shake that thing Let
the beat flow, the music on bang ♪

We have had such a great
time partying with you all.

Unfortunately, we got work to do.
You're coming with us.

- When?
- Right now.

- [all shouting]
- Bye.

[Karamo] Yes.

You're getting in the car.
Show us where you live.

- Oh, right now? Oh, God.
- Oh, no.

- [Bobby] It's dawning on him.
- Just breathe.

[pop music playing]

♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪

♪ To the rhythm of my hearbeat ♪

[Jonathan] Oh, my God, honey.

- [Antoni] Whoa, ceilings?
- This place is really cool.

I don't think he needs
our help. Oh, never mind.

- Holy shit. What in gay hell, AJ?
- It looks like you live at a Goodwill.

How long have these been on this bed?
I'm not a fan of laundry.

But if it got that big,
give it to Goodwill.

Clearly you're not wearing
any of those clothes.

Where do you sleep?

- Living room.
- Why? You have this cool bedroom.

[AJ] I have nowhere to put stuff.

You have a closet. You don't
seem like you hang anything up.

- Heaps of space.
- Right. A ton of space in that closet.

- You have random money lying around.
- Tan, I found a dollar bill.

- Is there a reason?
- Random.

- Are you a stripper?
- I always can use a one.

[laughing]

- [Bobby] The bathtub's amazing.
- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, Princess Diana,

I'm still not over it. I'm not over it!

[Antoni groans] Crusty underwear.

Those underwear don't
move when you lift them.

- [grunts]
- Really, the only things I could keep,

that I like, I do like this,
we can keep this. I got my keep pile.

- I need to wash my hands.
- Ok.

There's a stereotype that gay
men are all expert designers,

perfect at color coordination,
but not all know how to do that.

I'm giving you Beyoncé, hold up. Yes.

Whoa, what is--? What is this?

- Is this for like a themed party?
- [Tan] This is the '90s, but come on.

No, I think that's for like a
leather-daddy sexy party type thing.

It is?

Am I right? Your arms just
crossed. Am I right? Wait--

- Tell me you got more.
- What else do you have?

- Yes, I wanna see.
- [Antoni] There must be other stuff.

- This is crazy.
- Look, there's a swing.

Oh, push me, daddy.
Watch out, watch out.

It's gonna support us. You can do it.

[singing] What have we got?
Things are about to get gay

Super gay, leather gay Leather,
leather, leather gay

[laughing]

[Jonathan] I heard that, girl.

- [Antoni] Who's trying it on?
- Me.

- You start from the back.
- Feels nice.

Super comfy. It's like sweatpants.

- That a harness?
- It is.

- I love a harness situation.
- There you go.

- Now I understand the swing--
- Yeah.

- Now I understand the swing.
- It's hot.

- Come here.
- Bring it over here. [laughs]

This is opening up all new doors
about this little "shy" AJ.

You into some freaky shit.
You ain't fooling nobody.

Where's your clippers?
I've never seen a black man

- that does not have clippers.
- I saw clippers.

- There's clippers.
- Where?

- You didn't dig around. Gotta go deep.
- Honey, I love...

- How often do you use this?
- Never.

- You never use this?
- No. Mm-mm.

- What?
- Come on. This is--

I don't wanna mess up.
Best thing I can do is not touch it.

- I got you. We'll sort that out.
- [AJ] Ok.

Oh, wow.

- You have nine containers of almond milk.
- Yeah.

I use them in my shakes, cereal,
and I just like to drink almond milk.

Borderline obsessive.

- [AJ] Want me to make you something?
- Yes. Wanna make me a smoothie?

- Yeah.
- Make me a protein smoothie?

So, what are dishes you
had when growing up?

- We would have a lot of, like, Tex-Mex.
- Yep.

Um, a lot of Mexican-inspired foods,
like enchiladas, tamales.

And this is with your father and your...

My stepmom, she's Mexican.

She always makes tamales.

When I go over there,
she gives me a whole bag.

The only time I eat a real meal
is when I go to her house.

Come on, you're a grown man.
You have to know how to make your own food.

- What's in here?
- It's, uh...

It smells a little herbaceous.

- Mm. Tasty.
- It's like if you took a chalk

and if you crushed it into
powder form, it's very textural.

- Ok.
- This is really weird.

What is the reason why you're
not using your bedroom?

I like sunlight when I wake up,

so, I come out here and I can
wake up to the sun, rather than:

[mimicking alarm]

So, when the sun comes up, you wake up?

- Yeah.
- I wish that worked for me.

But would you rather wake up to natural
light or have a functional space

- that you could use?
- Functional space.

So, I can have friends over,
everybody comes here, and like:

"There's a bed in your
living room." [chuckles]

- [Bobby] The swing.
- Yeah, it's a good stress-reliever

and my friends get on it--

- You want this to stay?
- Yeah.

- Yeah?
- Yeah. Or some form of it somewhere.

- A swing somewhere.
- In the bedroom?

Hey.

[both laughing]

[Tan] In the ideal world,
if you were out to everybody,

would these be the
clothes you're wearing?

I could dress better. I would wear more
form-fitting clothes, nicer shoes.

Mm-hm. I wanna get you into
more street, younger style

because this is an outfit that
somebody much older would wear.

I want you to actually
feel sexy, look sexy.

- And hopefully Drey--
- I feel I look...

- Yeah.
- I feel sexy.

I love that you have confidence,
but I wanna turn it into swaggy sexy.

Yeah. Just don't make me look feminine
or just some regular guy on the street.

- Keep me original, still.
- I like that.

I wanna mention one word
you said. Feminine.

Why are you concerned about that?
And it's a concern for a lot of gay guys.

[sighs] My friends are more free with
what they wear and I couldn't do it.

I'm hoping you'll spend time with
us and get used to the fact that

you being your true self isn't
going to offend anybody.

People won't cause you an issue
because you're being yourself.

And if they're concerned,
that's on them. You're happy.

[Karamo] This is such
a beautiful painting.

Um, this is a painting
my dad had in his house.

Um, after he passed,
I ended up getting it.

So, now it hangs in my house.

Were you close with your father?

Yeah, we're really close,
but he didn't know a big part of me.

My dad, he always acted a certain way,
and it sort of translated to me.

I feel like I needed to put
up the traditional front.

Makes sense. Everything you're saying,
you touching right here, like--

I'm talking about you're literally
hitting home with me, you know...

Not to say about others,
but in the black community,

- we walk the world already as black.
- We already have strikes against us.

I wish I did tell my dad, but I just
couldn't say it. Now I regret it.

Mm-hm. Yeah. So, that's why
it's very important for you

to share with your
stepmother that you're gay.

[sighs]

- You took a deep breath. What's going on?
- It's always a point of anxiety.

And I haven't told her for
this long for a reason.

I feel like that our relationship
will shift negatively.

That could have implications
for the rest of my life,

- and change the course of my life.
- A lot of fear

- about the unknown?
- Exactly, yeah. Yeah.

I need to take this step to move
forward. I plan on having a family

- and I want her to be a part of it.
- I'm happy to hear you say that.

By saying, "I wanna let you know
I'm inviting you into my life,

and I want you to be a part of it,"

- is the healthiest thing you can do.
- Exactly. [laughs]

Fellas. Let's take a seat over here.

I have a clear plan of how
I know I wanna help AJ.

- How are you guys feeling?
- There'll be a lot of change going on

and what better way to celebrate that
than to have a little cocktail party?

- That'd be great.
- Will your stepmom be there?

It's about time for me
to show her my life.

- This is a time for celebration and pride.
- It's integration station.

It's integration station! [shouting]

[AJ] Let's do it.

- Yeah.
- All right, good.

[pop music playing]

I've been comfortable with
being gay a long time.

So, sometimes I forget people need
help coming out of their cocoon.

[Karamo] I came out at 15.

Being an openly gay black man
in the South was hard for me.

People told me, "You're not
gonna be able to do that.

You're too black. You're too gay."

If my gay black ass from
the South could do it,

your ass can do it.
So, just believe in yourself.

[Jonathan] Not an option for me to
be closeted or to keep it to myself.

Sky's blue, grass is green.
Can't fight it.

[Tan] Not all of us
are in the spotlight.

Some of us fight the fight
by our daily action.

It doesn't always have to be out
and loud. It can be out and proud.

My father made a comment about,
"You certainly lead a discreet life."

So, I did like any boy would,
and I text him, "Hey, Dad,

so, I'm gay, and this is ok."

- [Bobby] We're heading to your stepmom's.
- Ok. All right.

You and Antoni and your stepmom's
gonna make some tamales.

- My hands are getting sweaty.
- What--? Oh!

- We're getting close.
- We're not telling her now.

- She doesn't even know what show this is.
- No. Let's make one thing--

You're telling your stepmom today
that you're on a makeover show.

They're making over your
fashion, your apartment.

We're here to make tamales. I'm glad
we had this conversation to clarify.

Bye.

-Hey. [laughs]
-Hey. How you doing?

Good to see you. This is Antoni.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- These are for you.
- [Haide] Thank you.

- Of course.
- They smell nice.

- [Antoni] What's going on in here?
- [Haide] I was making some tamales.

- Who do you make all these tamales for?
- Me.

[laughing]

Every time he comes, "You want
to take some home?" "Yes."

- I make sure.
- I take all the tamales.

I love that. She likes to
make them for you, right?

I really enjoy it.

Can you show me what you
have going on in these pots?

[Haide] We're gonna add the
pork and the garlic. Oregano.

- Mexican oregano?
- Yes.

I want him to spend time
and learn these lessons,

and start doing this
in his home as well.

So, the husks are ready.
We already have the masa.

[Haide] We use the leaf from
the corn and then you--

[Antoni] So, it's a thin layer.
You don't put too much?

Then we just put the meat in.
We're just gonna...

- [Antoni] It's a little like a cigar.
- Yeah.

- You fold this part?
- Yeah, you fold.

- Wow, perfecto.
- Perfect. Yeah.

I wanna know about AJ
when he was 12 years old.

- What kind of a boy was he?
- He's a really good kid. Quiet, smart.

- [AJ] I was smart?
- Yes. I mean, you still.

If it wasn't for my dad,
I really probably would've dropped out

- and went to the Army.
- Really?

Every time I was having a bad time,
he said, "Dig through it,

and do your best," and
that's just what I did,

even though there were times
when I wanted to just quit.

It sounds like he was a
really positive figure.

When Anthony Senior passed,
your relationship with AJ,

did you guys get closer to each other?

- We got closer.
- [AJ] He told me, "Take care of Haide,

and make sure, um,
she doesn't have any problems."

That's sweet. Do you feel like
you can rely on this guy?

- Oh, yes. Always.
- [Antoni] Yeah?

I can call him anytime I need
him and he'll be here, yeah.

- [AJ] Yeah.
- That's really lovely.

Yes. Very, very. I mean...

They both have this unconditional
love for AJ's father,

that's what brings them together,
but it's from the boundary distance.

Imagine if they were able to be
open and honest with one another.

It would take the relationship
to the next level.

So, Haide, I'm having a, um,
party and I have a lot to show you,

sort of the new me.

You'll come?

All right, ok. Sure. [laughs]

Good, good.

- [Antoni] Maybe he'll cook for you.
- Can you?

- Yeah.
- All right.

- Right?
- Yes, yes, yes.

I wanna see that.

[pop music playing]

The reason why I brought you in here is
because I wanna show you ways of dressing

that is still relatively conservative,
but also I wanna give you

pops of new color, new print that
actually makes sense for you.

- These cargo shorts.
- I wear them every day.

Are they utilitarian? Do you use
those pockets for something?

[AJ] Yeah, they're full of stuff.

These are as tight as jeans can get,

and I put my sunglasses,
my cell phone and a full wallet in.

- You don't have these thighs, so...
- Hold on a second, all right?

This adds bulk in a weird place,
so it makes you look shorter.

Footwear, I wanna get you simple
white trainers, go with everything.

- And then polos.
- I actually do wear polos.

Oh, you do? Ok. How do you
feel about a pop of color?

I stay with just the darker,
more formal colors.

Not orange, not yellow, or even a pink?

- [AJ] I like the dark green.
- [Tan] Good, me too.

So, let's get you in the fitting room.
Come with me, all right?

- [AJ] All right. Got it.
- [Tan] Thank you.

- Ok, AJ.
- All right.

[Antoni] Oh, my God. You are so ripped.

This is your size,
this is your fit. This is it.

[AJ] I like the shirt,
the pants are too tight.

- Too tight?
- Yes.

- Really?
- If you had baggier jeans,

it just won't go with this
that you have going on here.

Let's talk about the fit.
I wouldn't go any bigger, any smaller.

It shows off your arms.
You've got the body, show it off.

- I like this.
- He's smiling.

- You like the way that you look in this.
- Yeah. I like this.

[Tan] Good.

This conservative,
masculine life he wants to live,

I think is more what society expects of
him than what he truly feels inside.

I want an outfit that actually
represents the true AJ, who deep down,

truly wants to be the guy who's out.

- It's showing off all of my assets, too.
- [Tan] That's what you want.

Still conservative. I can do this look.

I know you want to be
conservative and masculine.

However, I don't want that to limit you.

I think a large part of it is,
I do have a better-than-average body,

- so, I do try to hide it.
- Why? I wanna understand.

I associate a lot of gay people
showing off all of their bodies

and, you know, focusing
really hard on their looks.

- Those things don't matter to me.
- He's also conservative in his fashion.

He doesn't wear crazy colors.
You're not into crazy prints.

Yeah, I keep it really simple,
it's about good-fitting jeans and T-shirts.

Sexuality, it's always been
the secondary part of me.

Not that it was unimportant,

but it wasn't at the forefront
of how I present myself.

So, did the way you presented yourself
change after you came out or...?

In my first relationship with a guy,
I certainly experimented a little more.

We went on trips to Mykonos
and I wore brighter colors.

And shorter bathing suits.

- Is that what you wanted?
- [Antoni] I played with it.

I went a little extreme at first,
'cause I thought I had to,

cause I was immersed in gay
culture, which was so new.

I didn't know gay people before.

Um, I realized, I took a
step back and I was like,

"This isn't me, this doesn't work."

And now there are other parts of
me that are more interesting,

that when I present myself
that sort of come out.

I think we go from one
extreme to another

because we're out and we feel like
we should be who we wanna be.

That doesn't mean it's who you
settle into. Find what works.

It doesn't have to be uber-conservative
if that's not who you truly are.

It's not. I like to have fun,
I like to experiment, I like to, you know...

If I had to do it over again,
I'd probably be more true to myself.

[AJ] Where are we? [laughs]

You've been saying you're ready
to embark on this journey,

but you have fears.

Telling your stepmother,
coworkers that you're gay.

I wanted to take you somewhere
where you can get over those fears.

- Don't worry. Don't worry.
- [laughs] I'm scared.

-Hey there, Sean.
-Sean?

[Sean] Nice to meet you.

Welcome to Treetop Quest.
Ready to zip-line an obstacle course?

- How high are these zip lines?
- [Sean] Like 40-ish feet.

You conquer the fear.
Exposure therapy's what we call it.

- A little nervous?
- Yeah.

It's the fears that you have that has
kept you from doing what you need to do,

and live your life authentically
and open to others.

You'll conquer that now.

- By throwing me off a cliff? Ok.
- [Karamo] Yes.

AJ, he's one of those individuals that's
so ready to stay in their comfort zone.

[Sean] Hold this part
for me, right here.

I'll take care of getting
your belt tightened.

Anything that's gonna take him out
of that is gonna make him scared,

make him feel fear.

No point of holding on to fear
when you have love for yourself

and a love of a community
that's around you.

- Any last words for Drey before we go?
- Last words?

[both laughing]

- We get to go over there?
- Like, where the kids are?

[AJ laughing] Yeah.

[Karamo] Sorry, homeboy. This is
all you getting challenged today.

You got this. Just leading you to
where it gets easy and smooth sailing.

Oh, heck, no.

[laughing]

You can do it.

- [AJ] They progressively get scarier.
- Hold it steady. You got it.

- [Karamo] Um...
- [AJ] Now, this is the test.

Oh!

[Karamo] Good job.

[shouting]

Ah, shoot. Who'd ever think of this?
I'll just jump from the plank.

- Hold on. You know what?
- [laughs] What?

We need to make this more
special to show you have faith.

How? Oh, wow. [laughs]

- That's freaky.
- Exactly.

This is it. This is that leap of faith

for your stepmother,
it's that leap of faith for

- Ok.
- A better AJ.

- Wait a minute.
- I got you.

- Right here.
- Where's the edge?

[Karamo] You're near the edge.

Falling can sometimes be hard,
and falling blind can even be harder.

But if he can trust himself
and face that fear,

he's gonna be showing up for himself
in a way he probably never has.

Every time I start,
I just wanna like... [laughs]

Listen. Leap of faith.

[AJ shouting]

This is how OGs do it.

[shouting]

[AJ] I got you.

[both laughing]

- Great job.
- Yeah.

[Bobby] Just like his condo,
he's got great bones.

And the way I wanna show him is by
showing him how cool his home can be

to match how cool he is.

Tile looks good. How long you have
till I can start setting the kitchen?

- An hour.
- Thank you.

There wasn't one space in AJ's place

that was being used for what it
was supposed to be used for.

So, I needed to make every
single space function

where he can have sleepovers with
his significant other in the bedroom

and basically really start living
his life as his true self.

[Jonathan] I've brought you to see
my barber Sam, he does all my edges.

- What are edges?
- Like, your edges?

Oh, ok.

You didn't know what an edge was?

Jump into the hot seat.
My vision for you is this.

I wanted to see you with
a little temple fade.

- A more of a wave length on top.
- Yeah.

You've been trying to grow the beard in.
I feel like I miss your face.

- Are you telling me to cut my beard?
- I don't wanna get rid of it all.

- Let's shape it up, but keep the shadow.
- Cool.

Here's the thing, I'm just giving
AJ the confidence he needs

to get the F out from
behind that dang beard.

Boy, you're giving me so much sexy face
right now. I can't even handle it.

This is how he always was supposed
to look, always have felt.

Are you ready to see?

Wow.

[all laughing]

Face is slay to the gods.
Thank you. Everything is just lit.

I have a chin. I don't
even recognize myself.

[laughing]

You look handsome AF.

Yes. Wow.

Shit, I look sexy.

- You look amazing.
- Thank you.

You're welcome, babe. Aw.

-[Karamo] Hey.
-[AJ] Hey, Karamo.

[Karamo] You look amazing.

- So do you.
- Tan already dressed you.

- Yeah?
- Phenomenal. Look at your body.

[AJ] Thank you.

[Karamo] Guys, he's here. Welcome home.

What is this? Oh, my God.

[Bobby] Welcome to your home.

[AJ] Where am I? This is not my place.

We're on the wrong floor.
This is not mine.

Now you've got an adult man sofa.

You and Drey can lay out,
more room for friends.

You can actually have dinner parties.
And that amazing painting,

- that was your father's.
- Wow.

The black frame, it used to
be gold. I painted it black

because it makes the painting pop.

Down at the bottom left
corner, see the blue?

- [AJ] Oh, yeah.
- It's your pillows. It's your curtains.

Wow, I keep looking around here
just like there's so much here.

[Bobby] I gave you some more work space
because this kitchen wasn't functional.

- I love the colors, and how you used my--
- Yeah, you had amazing countertops.

- And we put open shelves.
- Oh, my God. This is amazing. Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- I love it.

[Bobby] I had a good canvas
to work with. We all did.

- Oh, and you kept my swing.
- [Bobby] I wouldn't get rid of that.

It's unique.

And then in here, if you
don't use this bedroom now...

- This is your room. No longer...
- [shouting]

- [AJ] This is me?
- [all] Yeah.

[all laughing]

Oh, my God. This is amazing.

- [Bobby] There you go, let it out.
- [Antoni] Let it out.

- You think you can sleep in here now?
- I'm not leaving this room.

You said you slept in there because
you like to be woke up by the sun.

So, I've installed two of these.

And you set it to come
on at a certain time,

and it wakes you up with sunlight.

It's like a-- Oh, man,
a piece of art in here.

Your closet not only was unfunctional,
but it made the room feel smaller.

I wanted to give you an
exposed closet, metaphoric.

Yes, queen!

So, that way you keep it organized.

An old door in this cool
building that wasn't being used,

so I turned it into a bookcase.
Put some books, pictures of your family.

My God. Some of these I
haven't even seen before,

like this one of me and my dad together.

Wow.

I love it.

- It reminds me of home.
- It doesn't remind you of home.

- It is your home.
- Oh, ok.

- You're home.
- Yes. Wow.

This is so much more than I ever
thought it could be. I am overwhelmed.

[Antoni] We're gonna be making
this beautiful spread of

arepas con queso fundido
on grilled vegetables.

Queso is cheese, as you know.

- Fundido, it's melted.
- Yeah, fondue.

Grab one of these. Put grated
cheese, two whole blocks.

You put it in the oven at 400 degrees.

This is gonna take about
seven minutes to cook.

While the cheese is in the oven,
grill some veggies.

Indoor grill pan.

- It's infrared on the sides.
- It's a grill? Wow.

So, you take a bit of oil, a bit of salt.
All right, let's try it out.

[sizzling]

That's the sound that I like.
You hear a little sizzle.

This cheese is ready to take out.
And here we have arepas.

So, now you can grab
one of those, cheese.

Piece of asparagus, like,
shove that in there.

- That is real good. Mm-hm.
- This is 30 minutes of your life.

When you have friends over for drinks,
it's something they'll talk about.

I can't wait to see the
look on their faces

when they have a meal that I've made.
And I didn't order from somewhere else.

[chuckling]

- How's it going?
- Good. Oh, man, I feel great.

- This is amazing.
- So, I know tonight's party

is not only to celebrate your
friends, but it's also for you

- to come out to your stepmom.
- Yes.

I'm feeling good. There's a plan,
I don't wanna put it out just yet.

- Ok.
- Yeah.

I support that. This is all about how
you want to orchestrate your journey

as you start to let these
people into your life.

[sighs]

My energy coming into this,
I wanna just be-- Just good.

Just good and light.

And, um, you know, I can't do that if
I potentially think this goes south.

That's what the whole leap of faith was.
Do not let that fear hold you.

Don't let it hold you anymore.
You are the epitome

of what it is to be a strong,
beautiful black gay man.

You know, it's rare that I hear that.

And, you know, it was my father
that really kept lifting me up.

You know, kept encouraging me.

And just those words are
something I haven't heard

in a minute, so it's, um...

I just really needed this.
I really needed to hear it.

- Give me a hug.
- All right.

[chuckles]

- Listen, I'm proud of you.
- Yeah.

- You've no idea how proud I am of you.
- Thank you.

[Jonathan] When it comes to edges,

for guys that are a bit
scared of edge work,

haven't done it, the important thing
to remember is when you go like...

[whooshes] You're committing
to making a new line.

That's where you can hurt yourself.

You have such a clean line to follow.
All I would do is come in

and work up to the line,
once you get close to it, let it go.

And then, for your chin,
the rule of thumb here is,

put your finger on your Adam's apple,
that's where your line should start.

That's just for your own maintenance.

When you need to get it
cleaned up over your ears

and you need to get work done,
that's when you go in to Sam.

This is your closet.
There's no hidden doors.

I'm done with the doors.

Everything is nice and neat,

and it has to be 'cause
it's out in the open.

Getting dressed should be this easy.

A pair of jeans and something
else to complement it, a top,

which is a T-shirt,
a polo, a button-up shirt.

I've given you a lot of color.

- Ready to try on clothes?
- Yes.

Karamo, your lashes are open.
Did you get a perm?

- Did you get a lash perm?
- There's a lash perm?

- Ready for the first look?
- [all] Yeah.

AJ, come on out.
You're gonna love this outfit.

[Karamo] Whoa!

-Yeah, you model one.
-Hey!

Come on.

Yeah!

Yes, daddy.

You look sexy as hell.

[Tan laughing]

Gorgeous, slippery and sloppy.

- Honey.
- [Tan] What you think?

That looks so big and gorgeous.
You know what I mean? [shouts]

Kind of like that.

[Tan] I love that you refuse
to smile the whole time.

[all laughing]

I like that better.

I feel like you've been
communicating with your pecs.

- It feels good just to pop one.
- Totally, pop it.

- Stop the ogling, next look, a real one.
- [Jonathan] Yes.

I'm still sweaty, I need a soda.

- That made you really uncomfortable?
- [Antoni] No,

just made me feel-- Want anything
to drink? Is anyone thirsty?

[laughs]

I didn't make any money.

[both laughing]

- All right.
- All right.

- Boys, you ready?
- Yes, honey.

- Yeah. The little smile.
- Oh, you look phenomenal.

Let me tell you why we've done
it this way. It's conservative.

But he wants a look that
takes him to his job.

He's on a construction site.
Don't want anything crazy.

We still want him to look cool,
but conservative.

Then he wants to go to a bar
or a club, or whatever else.

- Here's a way of doing it where...
- [Jonathan] Yes, God, yes.

he's still keeping his style, his swag,

and I would happily tap
that at the bar or club.

He'd be the first guy
I'd go up to. Fantastic.

- Really?
- Yeah, man. Oh, my God, yeah, man.

- Thank you.
- [Tan] You look amazing, truly you do.

When this week started, I expected
more of an external transformation.

But what I didn't realize was
this was a transformation inside.

I just wanna thank you, guys.
My life is forever changed.

And you guys have made, like,
a hard situation so much better.

I never want people to feel like that
they're not gay enough or straight enough.

It's about what's in your heart.
What's in your heart is like...

You are amazing, just the way you are.

Hearing your stories that you've
been through the same thing,

and you guys survived.

So, I'll probably survive, too.

- No problem.
- You'll thrive.

There's no right or wrong way to be gay.
No right or wrong way to come out.

It's your journey,
do it the way you wanna do it.

It is time for us to go.

[Bobby] Oh! Been such a fun week.

Enjoy your new home. Have fun tonight.

-I'm so proud of you.
-[Tan] Bye, we'll miss you.

[Karamo] AJ, you kill it!

- Love you the best. Bye-bye.
- [AJ] Bye, guys.

[pop music playing]

- [Karamo] We need to watch AJ.
- [all] Yes.

- Antoni, will you get me a drink?
- Uh-huh.

- He's probably freaking.
- He was.

- Oh, AJ. You're not worried.
- Thank you.

- Let's see our baby AJ.
- [Jonathan] Oh, my God.

[Antoni] Yeah.

[Jonathan] I love this peach on him.

[Antoni] Maybe he wants
to wear the tank top.

You can't really, like, come out
in a wife-lover tanky to your mom.

[all laughing]

We can tell this is our first gay because
he's taking forever to get ready.

Let's see, what would Tan do?
What would Tan do?

- This is massive, what he's doing.
- Yes.

It's not about the outfit,
it's about what he'll do.

[Karamo] Yeah.

- I love a man in the kitchen.
- [Antoni] He even put an apron on.

- I know.
- I didn't even tell him that.

It's like a dang farmer's
market in there.

[all] Aw...

Your future hubby's at the door.

-Hey.
-Hey.

What's up? [laughs]

- Walk me through.
- All right.

Show me everything. Love the
colors. Some color in here.

- Look at the curtains.
- Sensible TV.

- Making use of the space.
- Check out the couch.

The bed has gone.
It's a real living space.

- [laughing]
- [Fab 5] Aw...

- I love them together.
- [knocking on door]

-Hey.
-Hey, what's up?

Look at you, all clean-shaven.

- Twirl, do a twirl.
- Let me see your jeans.

- You don't look like an insurance man.
- Old skinty jeans.

[AJ] Let me give you
guys the grand tour.

Oh, wow.

This is...

This is me right here.

[all laughing]

I think I'm gonna cry.

- Look at these.
- Look.

- You actually get to sleep in your room?
- This one doesn't move.

Oh.

- Come on, freak.
- Tell us more about that.

Is something burning?
I hear it beeping over-- What?

- What is that?
- What that might be?

It's my arepas.

Let it cool a little bit.

I don't know how to act really 'cause
I've never seen you cook, ever.

I thought it was unwise to
have the friends there,

- but they calm him.
- That is his best group of friends.

AJ, we are so proud of you
for going through this.

We love and support
anything that you do,

but we hope you will transform from
the inside out. The out is fabulous.

I know.

So, to AJ, to friends and lovers.

- Fuck the others. Cheers.
- Cheers.

[all laughing]

- Can you help me?
- Yes.

Thank you. Grill some veggies
and add the veggies into that.

- So, are you in charge of cooking now?
- Well, I have gotten special instructions.

- This is called grilling vegetables.
- [woman] Ok.

[Smudge Mason & Cut One's
"Show Me Where I Belong" playing]

♪ I can't do it alone ♪

♪ Your silhouette on the horizon ♪

♪ A guiding light To
show the way back home ♪

♪ Calling me home ♪

[people laughing]

[AJ] Hey. How you doing?

- I brought tamales.
- Thank you, thank you.

Give me a hug.

- This is my friends.
- Hi.

- How you doing?
- Haide brought tamales.

[AJ laughing]

- I'm Marcus.
- Haide, nice to meet you.

- Haide.
- Andre, nice to meet you.

I don't think she realizes
he's his partner.

- She doesn't.
- He's introducing both of his worlds.

I love your kitchen. It's nice.

- Did you see the, uh...?
- Yeah, I see the frame of it.

- I see, like, the colors more bright.
- Yeah.

More dramatic.

[Haide] Oh, my gosh. Look at this.

- [AJ] Yeah.
- Look at all those pictures.

Nice.

Yeah. I wish Dad were
here to see it, though.

[AJ sighs]

I think about it every day,
and I miss him a lot,

and...

Like, I wish I would have talked
to him more, and, you know...

- [sobbing] I know he's proud of you.
- Yeah.

It's ok. It's ok.

All right.

Well, I wrote a letter that...

you know, I felt like me,
sort of just talking to him,

like he can hear.

Can I read the letter
that I wrote to him?

- Yes.
- Ok. All right.

I'd love to.

[sighs]

Ok.

"Dear Dad... it hasn't rained in a week,

but as I reflect on you,
the sky has suddenly opened

and poured out everything
it can no longer hold.

Yesterday and countless other days,
I am overwhelmed by emotion

and it, too, pours out.

Through it all, I know you would
want me to live my fullest life,

carrying on your name and legacy
even further than you did.

And if what people say is true,

our loved ones really do
look down on us from heaven.

Then you already know that
I'm well on my way...

being what you want of me.

If what people say is true,

then you also know that I am gay.

These three words have been
an enormous wall between us.

I'm sorry for not tearing
down the wall sooner.

You were an incredible dad and
didn't deserve to be left out.

Love, your son."

So...

I thought it was important
to tell you, um, my truth

that I am gay.

I wish I could share
this moment with Dad

and see how happy...

Happy I am.

And...

I'm happy for you.

[both crying]

- I'm sorry for keeping it from you.
- That's fine.

But the past six or seven years,

they've been... a trying time for me.

I've dealt with so much stuff
that I couldn't talk about.

And I shouldn't have hid it from you.

I don't think I would
have been here today

if I didn't have some of the people,
friends and family like you.

Not being honest and, um...

I mean, I can't be just like-- I
don't know, it just felt like a lie.

I don't have much family here,

and you are my family and
I don't wanna lose you.

Oh, you won't. I'm always
gonna be there for you.

- You are?
- Like I know you gonna be here for me.

Yes.

Ok, I'm relieved.

[both laughing]

- Come on.
- Thank you.

Good job.

Do you know I have a boyfriend?

No.

[both laughing]

- I'm very happy.
- Is he here?

He's here. I just feel
really good about him.

And I'm thinking about possibly
getting married, maybe.

- This is supposed to be a party.
- Ok.

Let me get myself together.

Ok. Thank you.

This changes everything.

Hello.

- That's him?
- Yeah.

- Is that him?
- [AJ] Yeah.

This is Andre.

[Haide] Nice to meet you...

I feel like I've made a lot of
stride towards my truer self.

Just get that weight off my shoulders,

'cause that was very oppressive
for a very long time.

Now I just live my life
because I'm worth it.

[all shouting]

- What?!
- What?

- He's taken it from one to 100 with her.
- Yeah.

I can't tell you the feeling I
have to see AJ on this journey.

I'm so proud of him.
I just really hope that AJ knows

that who he is... is so phenomenal

and that it's going to inspire
people to be their authentic self.

We all know that feeling,
that conversation,

so we know how big this was.
So, cheers to him.

- Yeah, cheers, cheers to AJ.
- Cheers. Yeah.

[Jonathan] Coming out is
really hard, even for me.

Did I get chased with
pitchforks? Absolutely.

Did it make me a really
hard worker? For sure.

Was I the first male cheerleader in
my high school's history? Uh-huh.

Did that go over well?

Yes.

[Widelife's "All Things (Just
Keep Getting Better)" playing]

No, it didn't, it was a mess.

♪ You came into my life ♪

♪ And my world never looked so bright ♪

♪ It's true You bring
out the best in me ♪

♪ When you are around ♪

♪ Things keep getting better ♪

♪ Things keep getting better ♪

♪ Things keep getting better ♪

♪ Things keep getting better ♪