All language subtitles for Brockmire - 02x06 - Broadcasters Jinx.WEBRip.x264-TBS.English.HI.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:10,393 [DOOR CREAKS] Hey. 2 00:00:10,426 --> 00:00:12,960 - There he is. - Hey! Jim! 3 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,530 - Congrats on Atlanta. - Thank you, Raj. 4 00:00:15,540 --> 00:00:17,615 You know, boy, you're a very talented young man. 5 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:18,983 You put up quite a fight. 6 00:00:19,008 --> 00:00:21,547 - I have a little something for you. - No, Jim, come on. 7 00:00:21,572 --> 00:00:22,901 Where is that thing? Where is it? 8 00:00:22,983 --> 00:00:24,082 - Here it is. - I'm excited. 9 00:00:24,106 --> 00:00:26,679 Psych! Fuck you! 10 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:27,793 I win. 11 00:00:27,818 --> 00:00:29,887 I am a major-league broadcaster! 12 00:00:30,220 --> 00:00:33,489 Aaron Thomas in his iTunes review says 13 00:00:33,490 --> 00:00:37,077 that "Jim Brockmire is a boring and rambling drunk." 14 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:38,737 One star." [JEERING] 15 00:00:38,823 --> 00:00:41,752 No, no. Thank you for the feedback, Aaron. 16 00:00:41,853 --> 00:00:43,953 And here is my response. 17 00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:47,499 [CHEERING] 18 00:00:47,602 --> 00:00:48,899 I don't know if you remember me, 19 00:00:49,035 --> 00:00:51,700 but you would not let me eat out your ass. 20 00:00:51,749 --> 00:00:53,969 I just want you to know that the joke is on you, 21 00:00:54,005 --> 00:00:57,239 because I'm a major-league broadcaster now. 22 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,840 You lose! [GRUNTS] 23 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,111 Ha! 24 00:01:00,136 --> 00:01:02,449 Can you see these babies through your mouth hole, 25 00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:04,249 you... you piece of shit?! 26 00:01:04,250 --> 00:01:08,320 - [CHEERING] - Major-league broadcaster, baby! 27 00:01:08,413 --> 00:01:09,452 [SCREAMS] 28 00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:11,839 You lose, I win! 29 00:01:11,899 --> 00:01:13,179 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 30 00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:18,120 Because I am a major-league broadcaster, baby! 31 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,999 Ha ha ha ha ha! 32 00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:22,115 That don't impress me, bitch. 33 00:01:22,201 --> 00:01:24,505 And you still can't eat this ass. 34 00:01:24,610 --> 00:01:26,106 See, I... Are you sure, though? 35 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,889 You know, 'cause the butthole and the vagina, 36 00:01:27,914 --> 00:01:29,079 they're connected in pleasure. 37 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,609 That's why they're so close together. 38 00:01:30,610 --> 00:01:32,609 It's like yin and yang, ass and tang. 39 00:01:32,748 --> 00:01:34,549 No, g... Unh! 40 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:35,810 [GRUNTS] 41 00:01:35,820 --> 00:01:37,419 I win. Major-league broadcaster. 42 00:01:37,466 --> 00:01:38,626 [GRUNTS] 43 00:01:40,186 --> 00:01:41,285 [GRUNTS] 44 00:01:41,366 --> 00:01:43,905 ♪♪ 45 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,489 [BELL DINGS] 46 00:01:45,737 --> 00:01:46,979 ♪♪ 47 00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:48,567 CHARLES: So, have you given any thought 48 00:01:48,592 --> 00:01:50,770 to what's gonna happen to me with Atlanta? 49 00:01:51,063 --> 00:01:53,445 I'm pretty sure they don't want a 19-year-old producer 50 00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:54,638 who doesn't like baseball. 51 00:01:54,663 --> 00:01:56,639 Oh, no, Charles. I got your back. 52 00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:59,169 Are you kidding me? Have I ever let you down before? 53 00:01:59,221 --> 00:02:00,639 You literally do it every day. 54 00:02:00,664 --> 00:02:03,360 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! Daddy's thirsty. 55 00:02:03,466 --> 00:02:05,135 [LIQUID SLOSHING] 56 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:06,359 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 57 00:02:06,423 --> 00:02:08,092 Congratulations! 58 00:02:08,153 --> 00:02:10,952 I just came in to drop off your Atlanta itinerary. 59 00:02:10,980 --> 00:02:13,189 - Hold. - [CHUCKLES] 60 00:02:13,228 --> 00:02:14,719 - We leave tomorrow? - Mm-hmm. 61 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,042 And I have some other amazing news. 62 00:02:17,083 --> 00:02:20,552 What if I told you that you're going to be 63 00:02:20,652 --> 00:02:22,592 a major-league broadcaster? 64 00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:26,548 I would like it. 65 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:27,763 I like it so much, 66 00:02:27,788 --> 00:02:29,664 I've been screaming it into the face of my enemies. 67 00:02:29,689 --> 00:02:31,275 Didn't you just congratulate me for that? 68 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:32,359 I don't understand what's happening. 69 00:02:32,383 --> 00:02:33,272 You didn't let me finish. 70 00:02:33,297 --> 00:02:35,312 I was pausing for dramatic effect. 71 00:02:35,379 --> 00:02:36,797 Well, it just seemed like you were done. 72 00:02:36,822 --> 00:02:37,842 Yeah, thank you, Charles. 73 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,879 I do pride myself on my ability to honor 74 00:02:39,935 --> 00:02:41,282 the flow of conversation. 75 00:02:41,307 --> 00:02:42,636 What if I told you that you're gonna be 76 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,718 a major-league broadcaster tomorrow? 77 00:02:44,766 --> 00:02:47,465 Tomorrow? But that's the last game of the season, isn't it? 78 00:02:47,490 --> 00:02:49,024 That's Art Newlie's last game. 79 00:02:49,066 --> 00:02:51,526 And he's going to call it with you. 80 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:55,204 I pitched a co-booth as a symbolic passing of the torch. 81 00:02:55,233 --> 00:02:58,054 From a PR standpoint, it doesn't really get much better. 82 00:02:58,079 --> 00:02:59,882 [GASPS] Oh, my God! 83 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,131 This view. 84 00:03:01,156 --> 00:03:02,914 Oh, you can see that new Starbucks 85 00:03:02,939 --> 00:03:04,739 - where they have the wine! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 86 00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:07,795 - Oh! Oh, oh! - Oh, God! Oh, God! Help! 87 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:09,539 Here. Flush it out with some water. Here you are. Oh! Oh! 88 00:03:09,540 --> 00:03:11,109 - Why's it burning? - Here you go, here you go. 89 00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:13,049 - Flush it out. - Oh! Oh, God, that hurts worse! 90 00:03:13,050 --> 00:03:14,716 Wait, no, no! That's the gin! That's the gin! 91 00:03:14,741 --> 00:03:16,190 - That's the gin! - Oh, God damn it! 92 00:03:16,215 --> 00:03:17,224 Where's the water? 93 00:03:17,249 --> 00:03:19,187 - Here you go, here you go. That's water. - Here. This... 94 00:03:19,219 --> 00:03:21,307 Oh, God. Oh, my God, Jim. 95 00:03:21,353 --> 00:03:22,822 Oh, my God! 96 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,675 Jim, have you been drinking?! 97 00:03:24,729 --> 00:03:26,002 Oh, my God! 98 00:03:26,056 --> 00:03:28,657 Have you been drinking in the booth all season? 99 00:03:28,826 --> 00:03:30,775 Are you... Are you drunk right now? 100 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,100 Is this... Is this who you are?! 101 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,192 Yes, yes, yes... 102 00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:39,905 ...and yes. 103 00:03:39,976 --> 00:03:41,645 I wasn't pausing for dramatic effect there. 104 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,149 I was genuinely deliberating. 105 00:03:43,305 --> 00:03:45,409 This... [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] This is who I am. 106 00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:47,420 No, no, no, no, no. I told them 107 00:03:47,453 --> 00:03:48,879 that you were under control. 108 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,419 This... This is not "under control." 109 00:03:51,420 --> 00:03:54,531 This... This is the definition of "out of control"! 110 00:03:54,556 --> 00:03:56,619 Whoa, wa... Whoa! That's some top-shelf hiding whiskey 111 00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:58,220 you're... you're waving around there. 112 00:03:58,230 --> 00:03:59,544 Jim... 113 00:03:59,623 --> 00:04:02,223 my reputation is on the line. 114 00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:05,441 You cannot drink in the booth with Art. 115 00:04:05,489 --> 00:04:08,504 Well, we have faced this problem one time before, 116 00:04:08,529 --> 00:04:10,229 and we came up with a very elegant solution. 117 00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,769 You see, we soak a tampon... 118 00:04:12,885 --> 00:04:16,193 Stay with me... in whiskey, and then we insert it... 119 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:17,840 No. It's all right. I don't mind. 120 00:04:17,976 --> 00:04:20,039 I can even jog with that baby in there. 121 00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:22,685 Okay. No alcohol! 122 00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:25,119 If Art sees you drunk in this booth, 123 00:04:25,220 --> 00:04:27,450 this whole thing is over, okay? 124 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:32,178 You have to promise me that you will call this game sober. 125 00:04:33,686 --> 00:04:36,611 W-Well, it's... this is the single most important game 126 00:04:36,636 --> 00:04:38,929 of my career, so, of course, Whitney, 127 00:04:38,954 --> 00:04:40,654 I will definitely call it sober. 128 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,485 Good. 129 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:51,600 ♪♪ 130 00:04:52,097 --> 00:04:53,227 [EXHALES SHARPLY] 131 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,879 This is a bad time, but, um... 132 00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:58,653 tomorrow's not gonna work for me. 133 00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:01,689 JIM: Look, you're coming to Atlanta, Charles. 134 00:05:01,724 --> 00:05:02,919 I'm sorry, but I need you there. 135 00:05:02,944 --> 00:05:04,271 Charles: I have a meeting with a potential sponsor 136 00:05:04,295 --> 00:05:05,384 for the podcast. 137 00:05:05,409 --> 00:05:06,911 You gotta cancel it, Charles. I'm s... 138 00:05:06,936 --> 00:05:08,959 Wait, I'm gonna level with you, okay? 139 00:05:09,011 --> 00:05:10,357 When I get nervous, 140 00:05:10,382 --> 00:05:12,621 I have a little bit of a drinking problem. 141 00:05:12,670 --> 00:05:14,899 [LAUGHING] I have never seen you sober. 142 00:05:14,975 --> 00:05:17,054 That's maintenance, right? That's medicinal. 143 00:05:17,079 --> 00:05:18,747 But under high pressure, I just... 144 00:05:18,772 --> 00:05:20,800 I ratchet it up, like, 12 notches. 145 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,433 Well, then d-dip off to the bathroom 146 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,720 and take a few nips between innings. 147 00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:27,445 No, no. Once you pop, you just can't stop. 148 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:28,855 Like... Pringles? 149 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,155 No, more like poppers, Charles. 150 00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:31,649 Like amyl nitrate. 151 00:05:31,802 --> 00:05:33,427 See this little bad boy right here? 152 00:05:33,452 --> 00:05:36,321 This both raises the libido and acts as a muscle relaxant. 153 00:05:36,346 --> 00:05:38,888 This is the Bo Jackson of sexual aids. 154 00:05:38,913 --> 00:05:42,343 Just... don't drink for one half day. 155 00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,505 Do you hear yourself? Do you hear how insane you sound? 156 00:05:44,530 --> 00:05:46,629 Charles! I am an addict, all right? 157 00:05:46,630 --> 00:05:48,436 It's taking every ounce of restraint I have 158 00:05:48,461 --> 00:05:50,445 not to sniff this entire bottle right now. 159 00:05:50,470 --> 00:05:51,860 If I don't drink in that booth, 160 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,754 I'm gonna get antsy, I'm gonna get the shakes. 161 00:05:53,810 --> 00:05:56,378 I'm liable to rip Art Newlie's head right off. 162 00:05:56,403 --> 00:05:59,809 Be real easy, too. I'll just grab the loose, old skin around his neck, 163 00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:01,210 and I'll just... [POPS LIPS] 164 00:06:01,264 --> 00:06:03,419 Okay! I will go with you to Atlanta. 165 00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:07,089 I will make sure you get into the booth sober and not murdery. 166 00:06:07,245 --> 00:06:08,665 Thank you. Thank you. 167 00:06:08,730 --> 00:06:12,330 But as soon as you're settled, I'm on a plane. 168 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,255 I know you don't care about podcasting, but I do. 169 00:06:16,773 --> 00:06:18,473 Fine! Whatever. 170 00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:23,758 Ooh! 171 00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:26,885 Uh... I'm gonna wanna make a quick stop 172 00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:28,998 on Craigslist casual encounters 173 00:06:29,023 --> 00:06:30,979 before we hit the airport. 174 00:06:31,039 --> 00:06:33,939 [CHUCKLES] Ooh. 175 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:43,980 ♪♪ 176 00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:53,630 ♪♪ 177 00:06:54,570 --> 00:06:56,976 This is one of Art's game day traditions. 178 00:06:57,029 --> 00:06:58,359 He shakes everyone's hand 179 00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:01,116 and makes each person feel valuable. 180 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:03,779 Hey, Jim Brockmire. How are you, friend? 181 00:07:03,819 --> 00:07:05,126 - Art. - Oh! 182 00:07:05,151 --> 00:07:07,855 I'm so pleased to be sharing the booth with you today. 183 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:11,449 I cannot think of a better way to tie a bow on this career. 184 00:07:11,506 --> 00:07:14,472 Well, Art, I am just so honored to be a part of this. 185 00:07:14,590 --> 00:07:17,464 - This is my friend Charles. - Charles. 186 00:07:17,530 --> 00:07:20,444 I heard you made quite an impression on my production staff. 187 00:07:20,530 --> 00:07:22,490 You really know the ins and outs of it all, don't you? 188 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,059 Thank you. I try. 189 00:07:24,134 --> 00:07:26,029 Hi, Whitney. Pleasure, as always. 190 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,675 Uh, please excuse me. 191 00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:31,099 I've got to run down to concessions and say my howdies 192 00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,862 and, sadly, a couple goodbyes. 193 00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:35,570 Jim, I'll see you in the booth. 194 00:07:35,650 --> 00:07:37,480 Yes, you will, Art. [CHUCKLES] 195 00:07:39,424 --> 00:07:40,962 So long, Art. 196 00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:42,949 We should probably get going, too. 197 00:07:42,987 --> 00:07:44,665 I want to show Jim the production booth 198 00:07:44,690 --> 00:07:46,125 before I have to leave. 199 00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,366 [SNIFFS] Hm. 200 00:07:48,490 --> 00:07:50,889 Sober, old-man breath... good. 201 00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:52,381 Let's keep it that way. 202 00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:56,544 - Here are your benzos. - Shh, shh, shh, shh! 203 00:07:56,660 --> 00:07:59,445 Take one during the sixth inning, and you should be fine. 204 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,399 No shakes, no crankiness. 205 00:08:01,799 --> 00:08:04,269 And that's almost everything. 206 00:08:08,668 --> 00:08:10,361 That's one tennis shoe. 207 00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:11,940 It's my lucky sneaker. 208 00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:13,749 I've had this in the booth with us 209 00:08:13,789 --> 00:08:15,049 since we got to New Orleans. 210 00:08:16,216 --> 00:08:18,665 So, what, is it, like, really expensive? Is that why it's good? 211 00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:21,777 No. It's not... It's not about the money. 212 00:08:21,890 --> 00:08:24,227 I got these right before I met you... 213 00:08:24,323 --> 00:08:26,822 Before everything in my life started changing for the better. 214 00:08:26,870 --> 00:08:28,669 So, I-I'm supposed to wear it? 215 00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:31,427 No, you're not... not supposed to... 216 00:08:31,452 --> 00:08:32,787 You know what? 217 00:08:34,876 --> 00:08:36,892 - Good luck. - Whew! 218 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,832 Don't shit the bed. 219 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,539 I shall try. 220 00:08:41,927 --> 00:08:44,126 - So, I don't wear it? - Don't wear it. 221 00:08:44,206 --> 00:08:45,206 Okay. 222 00:08:47,980 --> 00:08:55,980 ♪♪ 223 00:08:57,762 --> 00:08:59,092 [SIGHS] 224 00:08:59,176 --> 00:09:01,769 [KNOCK ON DOOR, DOOR OPENS] 225 00:09:02,449 --> 00:09:04,429 Are you ready to call a ballgame? 226 00:09:04,555 --> 00:09:06,209 Ohh, ready as I'll ever be. 227 00:09:06,263 --> 00:09:07,802 [LAUGHING] All right. 228 00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:11,572 Hey, listen, Jim, I'm not usually one for spirits, 229 00:09:11,632 --> 00:09:14,485 but the grounds crew chipped in 230 00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:17,247 and got me this bottle as a retirement gift, 231 00:09:17,343 --> 00:09:20,942 and I would truly love to share a drink with you 232 00:09:20,967 --> 00:09:23,406 as my way of passing the torch along. 233 00:09:23,450 --> 00:09:25,103 Oh, Art, that's so kind. 234 00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:26,994 Oh, but I... no, I have to politely decline. 235 00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:28,193 - Oh, now. - No, 236 00:09:28,218 --> 00:09:29,743 I never touch it when I'm on the clock. 237 00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:32,079 It's just... it's kinda who I am. [CHUCKLES] 238 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,430 What's one drink? 239 00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:37,857 And besides, you cannot deny a man his last wish. 240 00:09:37,932 --> 00:09:39,401 - Hmm? - Well... 241 00:09:39,605 --> 00:09:40,639 Um... 242 00:09:40,676 --> 00:09:42,092 Hm. 243 00:09:42,904 --> 00:09:45,179 Oh, that... that smells like good bourbon, too. 244 00:09:45,272 --> 00:09:46,732 Bourbon, right? I don't... Mm. 245 00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:49,776 ...know all the names of the... of the drinks. 246 00:09:50,563 --> 00:09:52,193 JIM: McCalpin working with two outs 247 00:09:52,218 --> 00:09:53,963 and a full count here in the top of the fourth. 248 00:09:53,988 --> 00:09:55,449 And here comes a pitch. 249 00:09:55,588 --> 00:09:58,042 Strike three swinging. My goodness. 250 00:09:58,086 --> 00:10:00,125 Chillcut pathetically waved at that one 251 00:10:00,150 --> 00:10:02,732 like he just recognized his ex-girlfriend across the bar, 252 00:10:02,837 --> 00:10:04,506 - didn't he, Art? - [LAUGHS] 253 00:10:04,531 --> 00:10:06,130 Oh, that's great. 254 00:10:06,159 --> 00:10:08,289 Straight zeroes across the board, folks. 255 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,761 Looks like fate has decided to give us a game 256 00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:12,441 that we're gonna remember. 257 00:10:12,576 --> 00:10:13,929 Stay with us, would ya? 258 00:10:14,056 --> 00:10:15,351 [LAUGHING] Oh. 259 00:10:15,444 --> 00:10:18,252 That's a great call, Jim. That's real fun. 260 00:10:18,340 --> 00:10:20,602 Yeah, I could tell you were a real baseball man. 261 00:10:20,627 --> 00:10:23,677 Oh, Art, I am. I tell you, I just... I love this game. 262 00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:25,447 Oh, good. That's gonna work out just fine. 263 00:10:25,472 --> 00:10:26,500 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 264 00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,776 And hey, how about McCalpin's arm today? 265 00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:30,219 - What? - My G... Hey. 266 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,149 He throws a no-hitter on your final game, 267 00:10:32,201 --> 00:10:34,243 this stadium is gonna lose their minds. 268 00:10:34,283 --> 00:10:35,883 - Wouldn't that be something? - Oh. 269 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,219 But, hey... Shh, shh, shh, shh. 270 00:10:37,244 --> 00:10:39,195 Let's just let that lie, shall we? 271 00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:41,261 Of course. No, no, no. Say no more. 272 00:10:42,116 --> 00:10:43,415 - Hey! - [LAUGHING] All right. 273 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:45,139 I think this thing must be working. 274 00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:47,127 - It was a gift. - Oh? 275 00:10:47,152 --> 00:10:50,041 From my friend Charles. He said it was good luck. 276 00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,620 Yeah, that young friend of yours sure seems like a hard worker. 277 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:55,109 I tell you what, you lucked out. You picked a good 'un. 278 00:10:55,201 --> 00:10:57,064 Oh, don't I know it. Don't I know it. 279 00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:59,033 You know, they say they're all lazy and entitled, 280 00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,151 but not Charles. 281 00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:02,229 That's 'cause their fathers don't stick around. 282 00:11:02,254 --> 00:11:03,423 - Is that right? - Mm. 283 00:11:03,448 --> 00:11:04,690 I hadn't heard that about Millennials. 284 00:11:04,714 --> 00:11:07,535 No. Millennials? I'm talking about the coloreds. 285 00:11:08,721 --> 00:11:09,995 Oh. 286 00:11:11,257 --> 00:11:13,256 You know, Art, I-I'm not sure I can remember the last time 287 00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:16,397 I heard that term used, uh, uh... "coloreds." 288 00:11:16,461 --> 00:11:18,391 Yeah, well, the term is antiquated, 289 00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,600 but so am I. 290 00:11:20,694 --> 00:11:23,863 Yeah, I just don't care for this PC nonsense. 291 00:11:24,071 --> 00:11:26,652 It's like, what is this country coming to? 292 00:11:26,707 --> 00:11:31,116 You know, they almost put a sand jockey in my seat. 293 00:11:31,397 --> 00:11:32,885 Boy, howdy. 294 00:11:33,437 --> 00:11:34,906 Bottom of the fourth, 295 00:11:34,931 --> 00:11:38,631 and we have got a doozy on our hands. 296 00:11:42,867 --> 00:11:44,724 Atlanta's got something cooking here 297 00:11:44,758 --> 00:11:48,264 in the bottom of the eighth of this very special game. 298 00:11:48,677 --> 00:11:51,845 And that ball is hit very right out to right-center field. 299 00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:54,999 And, like Ben Affleck's depressing directorial debut, 300 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:58,351 that one is gonna be "Gone Baby Gone"! Mm! 301 00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:01,592 Burnett with the big bat puts Atlanta out in front 302 00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:04,488 - by a count of 4-0. - Yeah, but it's a shame 303 00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:07,217 he had to do a bat flip there, isn't it, Jim? 304 00:12:07,272 --> 00:12:09,940 Just another poor display of sportsmanship. 305 00:12:09,965 --> 00:12:11,495 [CHUCKLING] Oh, I don't know, Art. 306 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,522 Seems like a young man just enjoying himself 307 00:12:13,547 --> 00:12:15,015 on the final game of the season to me. 308 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,439 Well, call me a purist, Jim, 309 00:12:16,482 --> 00:12:18,982 but I-I say play the game the right way. 310 00:12:19,204 --> 00:12:21,675 Well, that... that really is important to you, isn't it, Art? 311 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,621 I mean, things being pure. 312 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,743 Hernandez chops one to first, 313 00:12:25,768 --> 00:12:27,107 and that will be... 314 00:12:27,152 --> 00:12:29,151 out number three. 315 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,309 The ninth inning when we return, folks. 316 00:12:31,499 --> 00:12:33,109 [CHEERING] 317 00:12:33,192 --> 00:12:36,813 Jim, let me ask you something, and feel free to say "no." 318 00:12:36,966 --> 00:12:38,765 Oh, please. What can I do for you, Art? 319 00:12:38,913 --> 00:12:41,913 Well, these next three outs may be the last of my career, 320 00:12:41,938 --> 00:12:45,267 and I would just love to bring this one home on my own. 321 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,659 - Would you mind? - Oh, no problem. 322 00:12:47,823 --> 00:12:51,136 Well, appreciate it and mighty white of you, sir. 323 00:12:51,590 --> 00:12:52,929 [LAUGHS] 324 00:12:53,297 --> 00:12:54,589 Would you pardon me for just one moment? 325 00:12:54,613 --> 00:12:56,113 Mm! 326 00:12:57,142 --> 00:12:59,071 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 327 00:12:59,186 --> 00:13:01,455 ♪♪ 328 00:13:01,536 --> 00:13:02,866 [GROANS] 329 00:13:03,010 --> 00:13:08,609 ♪♪ 330 00:13:08,973 --> 00:13:10,091 WHITNEY: Jim! 331 00:13:10,345 --> 00:13:12,949 Can you believe this?! This is so exciting! 332 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:16,419 Art's last game, and McCalpin is three outs away from a no-hitter. 333 00:13:16,449 --> 00:13:18,667 Oh, my God. Is it a jinx if I say it, or just if you say it? 334 00:13:18,692 --> 00:13:20,021 How does the broadcaster's jinx work? 335 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,382 You know what... I'm saying it. 336 00:13:21,407 --> 00:13:23,536 I'm saying it! It's storybook perfect! 337 00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:26,172 National networks are doing live look-ins. 338 00:13:26,197 --> 00:13:27,596 This is huge for me. 339 00:13:27,621 --> 00:13:29,620 For you. For us. For baseball. 340 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:30,745 Most... Mostly me. 341 00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:32,030 [GIGGLES] 342 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:33,777 Are you drunk? 343 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,397 I started taking nips from your binoculars to calm my nerves, 344 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:37,909 but then when things started going so well, 345 00:13:37,910 --> 00:13:39,439 it turned into a celebration. I mean... 346 00:13:39,635 --> 00:13:41,534 [INHALES SHARPLY] ...this is the kind of night 347 00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:44,049 that careers are built on. 348 00:13:44,103 --> 00:13:45,682 - [GIGGLES] - Yeah, that's great. 349 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,010 Are you aware that Art is insanely racist? 350 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:51,226 Yeah. I mean t-that's why we're in such a... such a hurry to push him out. 351 00:13:51,251 --> 00:13:52,965 But the only way that Art will go quietly 352 00:13:52,990 --> 00:13:55,965 is if we promise to hand the booth over to a "baseball man," 353 00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:58,472 which is Art code for "a white guy." 354 00:13:58,678 --> 00:13:59,896 [GIGGLES] 355 00:14:00,202 --> 00:14:02,845 What are you telling me... that I didn't really earn this job, 356 00:14:02,870 --> 00:14:04,696 that I didn't actually beat out Raj? 357 00:14:04,836 --> 00:14:06,765 [LAUGHING] Oh, no. Of course not. 358 00:14:06,793 --> 00:14:08,375 I mean, Raj is the best! 359 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,459 I gotta go. 360 00:14:09,519 --> 00:14:12,522 The... The binocular whiskey's going right through me! 361 00:14:12,639 --> 00:14:13,898 [LAUGHS, ECHOES] 362 00:14:14,136 --> 00:14:15,740 [DOOR CLOSES] 363 00:14:15,824 --> 00:14:17,988 ♪♪ 364 00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:20,080 - [CROWD CHEERING] - [MUTTERING] 365 00:14:24,301 --> 00:14:26,410 [DOOR CLOSES] 366 00:14:26,759 --> 00:14:27,759 Hey. 367 00:14:27,916 --> 00:14:29,587 Did your boy steal my wallet? 368 00:14:29,684 --> 00:14:31,089 I... Wha... I'm sorry? 369 00:14:31,335 --> 00:14:32,655 Well, I don't blame him. 370 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,009 It was my fault for leaving it out when he was around. 371 00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,175 - [CHUCKLES] - You know... I don't... 372 00:14:37,242 --> 00:14:40,299 - No, Charles didn't steal your wallet. - Oh, really? 373 00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:42,332 - Yeah. - How can you be so sure? 374 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,342 Uh, because Charles is the most honest and hardworking person 375 00:14:45,380 --> 00:14:46,875 - I've ever met in my life. - Oh. 376 00:14:46,910 --> 00:14:49,507 I mean, I'm bringing him on as my producer next season. 377 00:14:49,532 --> 00:14:51,662 Oh, a producer? Here? 378 00:14:51,872 --> 00:14:53,662 Well, I won't let that happen. 379 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:55,922 Only real baseball men allowed in this booth. 380 00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:57,519 We'll talk about it later. 381 00:14:57,721 --> 00:14:58,781 Art, I... 382 00:14:58,890 --> 00:15:00,589 Boy, howdy, folks. [PILLS CLATTERING] 383 00:15:00,615 --> 00:15:03,709 A big ARTlanta hello to our national viewers. 384 00:15:03,739 --> 00:15:06,175 Still zeroes across the board for New York. 385 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,099 Let's see if our boys can bring this one 386 00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:10,356 on home for supper. 387 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,030 Folks, you know what's funny? 388 00:15:12,127 --> 00:15:14,469 The younger generation, they always love 389 00:15:14,524 --> 00:15:16,986 to talk about the elephant in the room, 390 00:15:17,011 --> 00:15:21,280 the one thing best left unsaid in situations like this. 391 00:15:21,584 --> 00:15:27,005 Call me a traditionalist, but I say let a sleeping dog lie. 392 00:15:27,287 --> 00:15:29,002 I don't know, Art. Some conversations, though, 393 00:15:29,027 --> 00:15:30,327 they really do need to be had. 394 00:15:30,352 --> 00:15:32,733 I mean, some sleeping dogs, they need to get woke. 395 00:15:32,758 --> 00:15:33,835 [PILLS CLATTER] 396 00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:36,048 Sometimes you gotta call a spade a spade. 397 00:15:36,096 --> 00:15:38,927 This is not one of the times. It's a tradition. 398 00:15:39,003 --> 00:15:40,164 - Folks, som... - Yeah, but some traditions, 399 00:15:40,188 --> 00:15:41,472 shouldn't they die, Art? 400 00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:44,277 For example, racism in this country. 401 00:15:44,379 --> 00:15:45,848 Jim, now's not the time... 402 00:15:45,876 --> 00:15:48,206 Did you or did you not just recklessly accuse 403 00:15:48,231 --> 00:15:50,221 my friend Charles of stealing your wallet? 404 00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:51,407 Art? 405 00:15:51,442 --> 00:15:53,841 - [CHUCKLES] - Hm? 406 00:15:54,097 --> 00:15:56,696 Folks, what happened is, my wallet went missing, 407 00:15:56,728 --> 00:15:59,831 and Jim's little friend was the only kid in the booth. 408 00:15:59,856 --> 00:16:02,354 Yeah, no, he means the only black kid in the booth, folks. 409 00:16:03,144 --> 00:16:04,192 WHITNEY: Oh, God. 410 00:16:04,217 --> 00:16:05,319 For the record, I happen to have a beautiful 411 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,804 - relationship with the blacks. - Oh, my God! 412 00:16:07,858 --> 00:16:10,118 Do you hear yourself anymore? I mean, are you joking?! 413 00:16:10,149 --> 00:16:11,548 All right, cool off there, Sparky. 414 00:16:11,573 --> 00:16:13,302 This Atlanta heat's got you beat. 415 00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:15,974 Hey, Art, would that be your wallet? 416 00:16:16,116 --> 00:16:19,245 - Well, whoopsie-doopsie! - "Oopsie-doopsie!" 417 00:16:19,319 --> 00:16:21,918 Really? That's all you have to say for yourself? 418 00:16:21,946 --> 00:16:23,215 Oh, my God! 419 00:16:23,276 --> 00:16:25,476 Jim, uh, let's you and I agree to disagree 420 00:16:25,501 --> 00:16:26,519 - and get back to the game. - No, how about we 421 00:16:26,543 --> 00:16:27,742 disagree to agree, Art? 422 00:16:27,810 --> 00:16:30,220 Because, you know, I can't speak for all the people of color in this country. 423 00:16:30,244 --> 00:16:33,115 I'm just one old white guy telling another old white guy 424 00:16:33,140 --> 00:16:35,822 that we will not stand this kind of hatred anymore. 425 00:16:35,926 --> 00:16:37,657 [JEERING] Oh, my God! 426 00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:41,844 Racism is the fist that's punching American right in its own dick, Art. 427 00:16:41,878 --> 00:16:44,089 That's the conversation we really should be having. 428 00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:46,472 Nobody cares about your stupid no-hitter. 429 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:47,899 [BAT CRACKS] 430 00:16:47,945 --> 00:16:50,015 Oh, shit. There goes a no-hitter. 431 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,697 [SLURRING] And here comes the pitch. 432 00:16:54,936 --> 00:16:56,916 Oh! It's in the dirt! 433 00:16:57,096 --> 00:17:01,165 And nobody cares, God damn it, because it's bourbon. 434 00:17:01,190 --> 00:17:02,555 It's not even a baseball. 435 00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:04,181 Shit. Why'd I spill that out? 436 00:17:04,206 --> 00:17:06,236 [SIGHS] There you are. 437 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,418 - Brockmire, you... - Wow! Hey, oh! 438 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,221 - Son of a bitch! - Hey! H-Hey! 439 00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:11,447 Okay, okay! 440 00:17:11,472 --> 00:17:13,532 I knew I shouldn't have trusted you. 441 00:17:13,586 --> 00:17:14,946 You couldn't even stay sober 442 00:17:15,011 --> 00:17:16,909 - for one game! - Oh, I was sober. 443 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,104 I was definitely sober. I swear to God. 444 00:17:19,129 --> 00:17:21,760 I'm not now, but I-I called the game sober. 445 00:17:21,770 --> 00:17:24,759 - Then why?! - Why?! 446 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,611 Art... I mean, he pretends to be "Cosby Show" Bill Cosby, 447 00:17:28,636 --> 00:17:30,905 but he's actually "hide your drinks" Bill Cosby. 448 00:17:30,930 --> 00:17:32,990 I mean, God damn it, I had to say something. 449 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:34,952 No! No, you didn't! 450 00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:38,279 All you had to do was stay silent for three outs, 451 00:17:38,362 --> 00:17:40,210 but you couldn't do that, could you? 452 00:17:40,283 --> 00:17:43,280 I'm sorry. I am very sorry. I really am. I... 453 00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:45,619 Hey, at least Raj gets the job now. 454 00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:47,289 - Isn't that what you wanted? - No. 455 00:17:47,290 --> 00:17:49,220 They won't hire Raj now 456 00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:51,940 because it'll look like they're "caving to pressure." 457 00:17:51,965 --> 00:17:56,804 And they needed a scapegoat for this televised pig fuck, 458 00:17:56,882 --> 00:18:00,142 [VOICE BREAKING] and they fired me! 459 00:18:00,686 --> 00:18:01,928 [SOBBING] 460 00:18:01,970 --> 00:18:04,983 All right, just give me two of your best shots with that thing. 461 00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:07,946 Come on. 462 00:18:14,479 --> 00:18:16,839 [DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE, HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO] 463 00:18:16,990 --> 00:18:21,389 ♪♪ 464 00:18:21,776 --> 00:18:23,004 Charles, Charles, oh, my God. 465 00:18:23,029 --> 00:18:24,929 Look, look... You're trending on Twitter. 466 00:18:25,009 --> 00:18:26,929 ♪ CharlesWalletJinx. 467 00:18:27,082 --> 00:18:32,725 ♪♪ 468 00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:34,552 Oh, no. 469 00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:36,669 [BOTTLES RATTLE] 470 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,845 ♪♪ 471 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,451 Uh, Charles? 472 00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:44,322 Why does my apartment look like young, black Google? 473 00:18:44,382 --> 00:18:46,257 You weren't supposed to be back this early. 474 00:18:46,319 --> 00:18:48,893 Oh, well, when you shit the bed, you kinda have to find 475 00:18:48,918 --> 00:18:50,447 a new place to sleep, and I did that. 476 00:18:50,509 --> 00:18:54,364 Ooh, I took an ungodly dump on my hotel bed. 477 00:18:54,499 --> 00:18:56,020 Figured I'd come on home early. 478 00:18:56,045 --> 00:18:58,518 What i... What's going on in here? 479 00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:01,001 I'm starting a few other podcasts. 480 00:19:01,202 --> 00:19:03,472 You did all this in the last 12 hours? 481 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,480 The last three months, actually. 482 00:19:06,570 --> 00:19:07,967 Wow! 483 00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,454 So, this is our staff, huh? 484 00:19:10,710 --> 00:19:12,170 Hey, Two Hands. 485 00:19:12,423 --> 00:19:14,304 Hi, yes. Hi. 486 00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:16,321 Do me a favor... Get me a Bloody Mary, please. 487 00:19:16,346 --> 00:19:18,209 My head is just pounding. 488 00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:20,719 Uh, actually... 489 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,489 Jim, this is my team. 490 00:19:23,342 --> 00:19:24,801 You can't be involved. 491 00:19:24,988 --> 00:19:27,359 What do you mean, I can't be involved? Why not? 492 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,278 Well, it's called Gradient. 493 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,522 And it's a podcast media company. 494 00:19:31,660 --> 00:19:34,765 It's gonna be podcasts by people of color... 495 00:19:34,989 --> 00:19:37,420 for people of color. 496 00:19:38,509 --> 00:19:40,719 Well, um, what about that guy? 497 00:19:42,341 --> 00:19:43,750 Oh, that's Garret. 498 00:19:43,829 --> 00:19:45,577 He's just cool. 499 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,234 - Well, I can be cool. - No, you can't. 500 00:19:49,504 --> 00:19:53,567 Yeah, he's actually right. You can't be cool. Sorry. 501 00:19:53,592 --> 00:19:55,039 Um, who the hell is that? 502 00:19:55,146 --> 00:19:56,776 This is Yvonne. 503 00:19:58,196 --> 00:19:59,665 She's my girlfriend. 504 00:19:59,690 --> 00:20:01,219 Your girl... You have a girlfriend? 505 00:20:01,244 --> 00:20:02,660 - And you didn't tell me about it? - I'm sorry. 506 00:20:02,684 --> 00:20:05,090 You were supposed to go to Atlanta and stay. 507 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,457 What was I gonna do? I started my own thing. 508 00:20:07,517 --> 00:20:09,560 Well, I didn't get Atlanta 509 00:20:09,570 --> 00:20:11,769 'cause I was too busy sticking up for you! 510 00:20:11,854 --> 00:20:13,430 I didn't ask you to do that! 511 00:20:13,609 --> 00:20:18,194 If I was there, I would have told you 100% do not do that. 512 00:20:18,219 --> 00:20:19,856 Art was on his way out. 513 00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:21,639 What could you possibly have accomplished? 514 00:20:21,719 --> 00:20:24,849 I was protecting you from racism, Charles! 515 00:20:25,092 --> 00:20:27,052 WOMAN: Ohhhh. 516 00:20:27,153 --> 00:20:28,929 Mm, mm, mm. 517 00:20:29,089 --> 00:20:30,889 It... It's actually kinda cute. 518 00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:32,189 I've heard enough out of you, Yoko. 519 00:20:32,452 --> 00:20:33,919 Actually, Yoko was a very talented, 520 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,120 avant-garde performance artist. 521 00:20:35,154 --> 00:20:36,989 I-I don't know what you are. 522 00:20:37,042 --> 00:20:41,081 I experience racism every day. 523 00:20:41,372 --> 00:20:43,981 I have to deal with racism before I deal with my morning wood. 524 00:20:44,262 --> 00:20:46,350 It's something I'm used to. 525 00:20:46,504 --> 00:20:48,605 I can handle it. 526 00:20:48,740 --> 00:20:51,811 You experience racism one time, 527 00:20:51,893 --> 00:20:54,922 and you flip out and throw everything away. 528 00:20:54,947 --> 00:20:56,609 I threw every... I did?! 529 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,479 You're the one who's jumping ship first chance you get. 530 00:20:59,533 --> 00:21:01,279 And I gotta tell you something, Charles, 531 00:21:01,346 --> 00:21:02,972 you would be nothing without me. 532 00:21:02,997 --> 00:21:05,126 Without me, you would still be in Morristown. 533 00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:07,759 Oh, that is absolutely true! 534 00:21:07,881 --> 00:21:13,196 ♪♪ 535 00:21:13,453 --> 00:21:15,187 All right, look, I want you and your friends 536 00:21:15,212 --> 00:21:17,099 out of here right now. 537 00:21:17,175 --> 00:21:18,944 I own this loft. 538 00:21:19,021 --> 00:21:20,123 Not you. 539 00:21:21,726 --> 00:21:23,266 So, I'm gonna ask you to leave. 540 00:21:25,803 --> 00:21:27,423 Fine. 541 00:21:27,580 --> 00:21:28,709 [SCOFFS] 542 00:21:28,809 --> 00:21:30,954 ♪♪ 543 00:21:31,563 --> 00:21:32,849 I have to get some clean underwear. 544 00:21:32,876 --> 00:21:35,049 I wasn't kidding about that ungodly dump. 545 00:21:35,202 --> 00:21:37,442 ♪♪ 546 00:21:37,673 --> 00:21:41,673 synced & corrected by PopcornAWH www.addic7ed.com 40451

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