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♪♪
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00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,778
CROWD: [CHANTING] Brock! Brock! Brock!
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00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:17,032
Brock! Brock! Brock!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
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00:00:17,116 --> 00:00:19,483
JIM: Hey, all right!
5
00:00:19,508 --> 00:00:21,374
All right. That's very nice.
6
00:00:21,549 --> 00:00:25,721
My God, look at this sea
of Millennial faces. I am...
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00:00:25,761 --> 00:00:27,791
CROWD: Yeah! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
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I'm terrified.
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00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:31,013
Let's get right into it.
10
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I need a suggestion for a monologue.
11
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:37,742
- The one that got away!
- The one that got at away.
12
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My God!
13
00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:43,152
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
14
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Ooh!
15
00:00:46,649 --> 00:00:50,115
Wow. You people
aren't kidding around tonight.
16
00:00:50,208 --> 00:00:52,182
So much has gotten away from me lately.
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00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:55,286
I mean, friends, family... my father.
18
00:00:55,754 --> 00:00:58,555
Um, hard to narrow it down
to just one thing.
19
00:00:59,846 --> 00:01:00,867
[CLICKS TONGUE]
20
00:01:00,955 --> 00:01:01,906
Folks, you ever have something
21
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,695
so pure, just so real...
22
00:01:05,179 --> 00:01:07,131
you almost felt like
you didn't even deserve it?
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00:01:07,599 --> 00:01:09,099
Can you relate to that? CROWD: Yeah.
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00:01:09,458 --> 00:01:12,103
For me, that one thing...
25
00:01:12,622 --> 00:01:14,037
was Molly Malone.
26
00:01:14,132 --> 00:01:16,673
[LAUGHTER, CHEERING]
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- MAN: Yeah!
- [WHISTLING AND SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
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Molly Malone is a street name
29
00:01:21,639 --> 00:01:23,427
for the purest MDMA in existence.
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[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
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Yeah?
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Hi.
33
00:01:36,010 --> 00:01:37,468
Hi!
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You know, I didn't
expect to see you here.
35
00:01:40,973 --> 00:01:43,534
Or ever again, really.
36
00:01:43,930 --> 00:01:45,568
I thought it'd be creepy
if I saw your show
37
00:01:45,593 --> 00:01:47,460
and then didn't come
say "hi" afterwards.
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Right now, "creepy" doesn't
seem like such a bad thing.
39
00:01:51,661 --> 00:01:53,423
No, wait, whoa! Oh. What are you do...
40
00:01:53,509 --> 00:01:54,967
Why are you in New Orleans?
41
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:56,773
I have a layover.
I'm on my way to Colombia.
42
00:01:56,873 --> 00:01:58,876
I've been approached about
buying an ownership piece
43
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:00,302
of a winter ball team down there.
44
00:02:00,362 --> 00:02:02,382
- My flight leaves at midnight.
- Midnight!
45
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:04,087
Well, that's practically
tomorrow, isn't it?
46
00:02:04,222 --> 00:02:05,956
Come on, can... Let's grab a drink.
47
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:08,107
- That's not a good idea.
- All right.
48
00:02:08,221 --> 00:02:10,093
- Got other plans, huh?
- I do.
49
00:02:10,269 --> 00:02:12,721
The in-flight magazine said
that I can't leave New Orleans
50
00:02:12,746 --> 00:02:14,821
without getting a beignet
from Cafe Du Monde.
51
00:02:14,846 --> 00:02:15,867
Du Monde?! No,
52
00:02:15,892 --> 00:02:17,655
that's overpriced and
overcrowded, Jules.
53
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I know where the locals go.
54
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Come on. Please. It'll be my treat.
55
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Don't you have an after-party to go to?
56
00:02:23,407 --> 00:02:25,375
After-party? No, I don't.
57
00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:27,782
What, my life just seems
like one big party
58
00:02:27,807 --> 00:02:29,176
to you, huh, from the outside?
59
00:02:29,201 --> 00:02:32,449
I assure you, it's, uh...
It's very lonely, Jules.
60
00:02:32,622 --> 00:02:33,851
So, we fucking?
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That was unfortunate timing
right there.
62
00:02:36,470 --> 00:02:38,899
- So, I'm gonna say goodbye.
- Fine. Let's go.
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00:02:39,214 --> 00:02:42,035
Really? Don't give me
time to change my mind.
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00:02:42,375 --> 00:02:44,594
- Um, hello?
- He'll fuck you tomorrow.
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00:02:44,794 --> 00:02:48,599
♪♪
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JIM: So, Jules, can I ask
what you're doing here?
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JULES: I told you. I have a layover.
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00:02:52,017 --> 00:02:53,884
No, I mean what are we doing here?
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00:02:55,698 --> 00:02:57,684
Okay, can I tell you why I'm here?
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00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,305
Because I am desperate
to absorb any moment
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I can possibly get with you,
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00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,313
no matter how awkward it might be.
73
00:03:04,463 --> 00:03:06,129
Kind of like the way
Johnny The Hat would wring
74
00:03:06,157 --> 00:03:08,197
the bar mat into his mouth
after last call.
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00:03:08,596 --> 00:03:09,759
You... remember that?
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00:03:09,784 --> 00:03:12,918
The saddest part was he'd always
leave me a tip afterwards.
77
00:03:13,175 --> 00:03:15,639
Just be honest with me. Please.
78
00:03:19,144 --> 00:03:22,287
Okay, fine. I set up a Google
Alert for "Jim Brockmire dead."
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00:03:22,383 --> 00:03:24,351
Jesus Christ. Everybody I know
has one of those things.
80
00:03:24,382 --> 00:03:26,152
So, when I got the e-mail
with that headline,
81
00:03:26,177 --> 00:03:28,225
I felt terrible...
Worse than when my dad died,
82
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,958
'cause the last thing I said
to him was "I love you."
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00:03:29,983 --> 00:03:32,088
Last thing I said to you...
84
00:03:32,162 --> 00:03:33,762
I don't remember exactly
what it I was, but it...
85
00:03:33,792 --> 00:03:36,259
You said, "Back up," and then
you slammed the door in my face.
86
00:03:36,295 --> 00:03:38,094
Yeah. So, for a second,
87
00:03:38,148 --> 00:03:41,198
I thought that was
our last moment together.
88
00:03:42,253 --> 00:03:44,111
And I knew I had to tell you something.
89
00:03:46,171 --> 00:03:47,436
I don't hate you.
90
00:03:47,475 --> 00:03:48,775
Boy, this is a real roller coaster.
91
00:03:48,817 --> 00:03:50,897
You're selfish,
and you did a selfish thing.
92
00:03:50,922 --> 00:03:53,503
I can hate the way you did it,
but I knew who you were.
93
00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:57,711
Okay. I mean, that's progress, I guess.
94
00:03:57,736 --> 00:03:59,980
I mean, at least I am not
dead to you anymore.
95
00:04:00,052 --> 00:04:02,698
Life is too short to hold
that kind of grudge.
96
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:05,989
- Just ask these two.
- Oh, yeah.
97
00:04:06,082 --> 00:04:10,116
You know why all the cemeteries
in New Orleans are above ground?
98
00:04:10,354 --> 00:04:12,287
'Cause we're below sea level here.
99
00:04:12,564 --> 00:04:14,162
If they actually buried their dead,
100
00:04:14,211 --> 00:04:17,141
they'd find themselves
swimming in a river of corpses.
101
00:04:17,435 --> 00:04:22,054
These monuments, they all house actual
bones and... and rotting flesh.
102
00:04:22,367 --> 00:04:25,186
So, if I don't ask
for macabre New Orleans trivia,
103
00:04:25,211 --> 00:04:26,419
just assume I don't
want to hear it, okay?
104
00:04:26,443 --> 00:04:27,912
[CHUCKLES]
Just trying to be a good tour guide.
105
00:04:27,936 --> 00:04:29,957
- Yeah, well...
- Seriously. No, speaking of which,
106
00:04:30,015 --> 00:04:32,494
right down that road there lies the bar
107
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that invented the French 75.
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[CHUCKLES]
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00:04:36,954 --> 00:04:38,555
Well, I think of you
every time I go in there.
110
00:04:38,691 --> 00:04:41,383
I do, because for some
ridiculous reason, Jules,
111
00:04:41,426 --> 00:04:42,696
that's your favorite drink.
112
00:04:42,774 --> 00:04:44,975
Because it's like a white wine
spritzer without the shame.
113
00:04:45,231 --> 00:04:47,096
Oh, God, there's so much shame.
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♪♪
115
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,733
- We have a new mascot.
- Ah.
116
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:53,810
It's an oil derrick now.
Derek the Derrick.
117
00:04:53,859 --> 00:04:56,684
Mm. Boy, you anthropomorphized
the very thing
118
00:04:56,709 --> 00:04:58,442
that will be the undoing
of the human race.
119
00:04:58,484 --> 00:05:00,703
That's... [CHUCKLES]
That's a very nice touch.
120
00:05:00,751 --> 00:05:02,317
I thought so.
121
00:05:02,381 --> 00:05:05,161
And I started a "When Harry
Met Sally" promo night...
122
00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:07,294
Two-for-one drinks
if you fake an orgasm
123
00:05:07,325 --> 00:05:09,124
- at the concession stand.
- Wow.
124
00:05:09,163 --> 00:05:11,667
It's the "I'll have what she's having."
125
00:05:12,037 --> 00:05:14,504
Nice, but I'm kind of glad
I missed that one.
126
00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:16,826
Not sure I could have
handled seeing Dale
127
00:05:16,862 --> 00:05:18,770
in the throes of pleasure like that.
128
00:05:18,997 --> 00:05:20,658
- Dale died.
- What?
129
00:05:20,683 --> 00:05:22,683
- Yeah.
- Get out of here.
130
00:05:23,028 --> 00:05:25,381
- How'd he die? He was so young.
- Meth fire.
131
00:05:25,437 --> 00:05:27,271
Meth... Yeah, well,
makes sense, doesn't it?
132
00:05:27,339 --> 00:05:29,037
You know, I-I told him.
133
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:31,446
I said, "You can cook meth as a hobby"
134
00:05:31,543 --> 00:05:33,079
or you can siphon gasoline.
135
00:05:33,145 --> 00:05:35,172
You cannot do both."
- Yeah.
136
00:05:35,281 --> 00:05:37,080
- You seeing anybody?
- Nice segue.
137
00:05:37,164 --> 00:05:39,955
[SLURPS] I know, I'm sorry.
I just... I-I gotta know.
138
00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:41,247
You know, it's all I can think about
139
00:05:41,272 --> 00:05:42,863
since the moment I saw you.
140
00:05:43,101 --> 00:05:44,907
I'm seeing a few people.
141
00:05:46,260 --> 00:05:47,832
Not as many as you, probably.
142
00:05:47,857 --> 00:05:49,991
Oh, no, no, no. Wait a minute now.
143
00:05:50,246 --> 00:05:51,774
At first, I, uh...
144
00:05:52,007 --> 00:05:54,050
dated attractive, age-appropriate women
145
00:05:54,099 --> 00:05:56,166
as kind of a substitute for you. I did.
146
00:05:56,191 --> 00:05:57,196
[INHALES SHARPLY]
147
00:05:57,221 --> 00:06:00,093
Desperately aping the magic
of our relationship
148
00:06:00,118 --> 00:06:02,251
like Woody Allen trying
to boil a lobster
149
00:06:02,276 --> 00:06:05,477
with whoever that
non-Annie-Hall-type person was.
150
00:06:05,585 --> 00:06:07,318
Now, I just, uh...
151
00:06:07,478 --> 00:06:10,612
I stick to the
one-night-stand groupie well.
152
00:06:10,648 --> 00:06:12,865
I mean, it's transactional,
but at least it's honest.
153
00:06:12,917 --> 00:06:14,591
You poor baby.
154
00:06:14,652 --> 00:06:16,557
So many women jumping on your dick.
155
00:06:16,647 --> 00:06:18,580
[GULPS] It's not easy.
156
00:06:18,656 --> 00:06:20,618
Hey, I gotta get going. My flight is...
157
00:06:20,658 --> 00:06:23,393
No, no... Hey, no. Come on.
Don't get on that plane.
158
00:06:23,444 --> 00:06:26,263
Seriously, just... stay.
159
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,104
♪♪
160
00:06:28,474 --> 00:06:29,740
Stay for what?
161
00:06:29,787 --> 00:06:31,521
Jules, you haven't had a beignet yet.
[CHUCKLES]
162
00:06:31,614 --> 00:06:33,847
No, you can't visit New Orleans
and not have a beignet.
163
00:06:33,872 --> 00:06:35,614
That's like...
That's a slap in the face
164
00:06:35,651 --> 00:06:37,751
to the editors of Delta Sky Magazine.
165
00:06:37,782 --> 00:06:40,500
- [SCOFFS] Okay.
- Really?
166
00:06:40,581 --> 00:06:41,703
Well, don't make me overthink it.
167
00:06:41,728 --> 00:06:43,240
I'm pretty sure I'm making a mistake.
168
00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:46,086
[STAMMERS] Well...
[LAUGHING] No, you're not.
169
00:06:46,137 --> 00:06:48,671
Since I'm staying,
you can buy me another drink.
170
00:06:49,213 --> 00:06:51,207
[GULPING]
171
00:06:51,509 --> 00:06:54,710
♪♪
172
00:06:54,925 --> 00:06:57,326
This one's done.
173
00:06:57,429 --> 00:06:59,022
I really missed you.
174
00:07:01,559 --> 00:07:04,050
Hey, Pasquale. Yo, how you doing?
175
00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,924
Double for me, usual.
176
00:07:06,123 --> 00:07:08,191
Pint glass full
of White Zin for the lady.
177
00:07:08,266 --> 00:07:09,464
You heard that right.
178
00:07:09,647 --> 00:07:11,194
[LAUGHS]
179
00:07:11,442 --> 00:07:14,404
Kind of a regular here.
Don't like to brag.
180
00:07:14,485 --> 00:07:16,818
No, I know. You mentioned it
on your podcast.
181
00:07:16,848 --> 00:07:18,114
This is where you like to take a woman
182
00:07:18,139 --> 00:07:19,814
when you really want to impress her.
183
00:07:20,021 --> 00:07:21,889
- I did?
- I believe your exact words were
184
00:07:21,932 --> 00:07:23,732
"put a napkin down
or it's gonna look like
185
00:07:23,761 --> 00:07:26,865
there was a snail race
on that barstool."
186
00:07:27,126 --> 00:07:29,329
- Get out of here. I said that?
- Yeah, you did.
187
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,124
You broadcast it to
anyone who'd listen.
188
00:07:31,149 --> 00:07:32,441
Oh, my goodness.
189
00:07:32,483 --> 00:07:34,950
Well, Ol' Blackout Jimmy is just
full of surprises, isn't he?
190
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,119
But you know, my...
Thank you, Pasquale.
191
00:07:37,175 --> 00:07:39,642
My takeaway from that story
is...[CHUCKLES]
192
00:07:39,768 --> 00:07:42,621
you're a regular listener
to my podcast.
193
00:07:42,894 --> 00:07:45,733
I gotta have something to do
while I'm folding the laundry.
194
00:07:45,810 --> 00:07:47,654
- Oh, don't we all.
- Hey, I gotta pee.
195
00:07:47,679 --> 00:07:49,662
Uh, I'm assuming you've had sex
in the ladies' room.
196
00:07:49,687 --> 00:07:51,620
- Oh, you know that I have.
- Is it gross?
197
00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:53,441
- No, it's not bad at all.
- Oh.
198
00:07:53,491 --> 00:07:55,091
Straight back that way.
199
00:07:55,220 --> 00:07:57,558
- Thank you.
- Oh, sure. Enjoy.
200
00:07:57,661 --> 00:08:01,063
♪♪
201
00:08:01,226 --> 00:08:03,716
There you are. I had a
feeling I'd find you here.
202
00:08:03,741 --> 00:08:06,153
What are you doing here? Well,
I came down to let you know
203
00:08:06,178 --> 00:08:09,312
that word's coming in
from Atlanta this weekend.
204
00:08:09,434 --> 00:08:11,219
- This weekend?
- Yeah.
205
00:08:11,321 --> 00:08:13,434
This weekend's almost over, isn't it?
Exactly.
206
00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:16,339
And I'm pretty sure
no news is not good news.
207
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:19,758
Right. Yeah, okay. I'll see.
208
00:08:19,968 --> 00:08:22,573
- You gonna be okay?
- Yeah, Charles.
209
00:08:22,648 --> 00:08:24,802
You know, if Atlanta
doesn't happen, it...
210
00:08:25,050 --> 00:08:27,059
- It wasn't meant to be.
- Okay.
211
00:08:27,186 --> 00:08:28,634
Okay.
212
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,325
What's going on with you?
213
00:08:30,388 --> 00:08:32,797
Nothing is going on with me.
What's going on with you?
214
00:08:32,864 --> 00:08:35,931
- [LAUGHING] Hey! I missed you!
- Oh, my God!
215
00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:37,967
- I missed you so much!
- This...
216
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:39,608
This is great!
217
00:08:39,670 --> 00:08:41,403
It's like my parents
are getting back together.
218
00:08:41,463 --> 00:08:43,431
Except, you know, I actually
want this to happen.
219
00:08:43,468 --> 00:08:45,264
- Just relax.
- Where's your girlfriend?
220
00:08:45,323 --> 00:08:47,456
Girlfriend? This guy
doesn't have a girlfriend!
221
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:50,152
I had to bribe this guy
just to have sex with somebody.
222
00:08:50,275 --> 00:08:51,749
[LAUGHS]
223
00:08:51,877 --> 00:08:55,421
You know what it does have,
though, is someplace else to be.
224
00:08:55,446 --> 00:08:56,476
Right. Got it.
225
00:08:56,501 --> 00:08:59,162
I'll leave you two to catch up.
226
00:08:59,283 --> 00:09:02,186
- [QUIETLY] It's happening!
- Nothing is happening!
227
00:09:02,211 --> 00:09:03,877
- Okay!
- Stop it.
228
00:09:04,048 --> 00:09:05,696
I mean, something...
Something's happening.
229
00:09:05,733 --> 00:09:06,956
I just don't want to label it,
230
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:09,202
because that will kill what's
happening... whatever that is.
231
00:09:09,227 --> 00:09:10,393
- Shut up.
- All right.
232
00:09:10,505 --> 00:09:11,900
Cheers.
233
00:09:12,163 --> 00:09:14,898
["WHEN THE SAINTS GO
MARCHING IN" PLAYS]
234
00:09:14,948 --> 00:09:17,100
You know what... do you have...
You don't have saxophones?
235
00:09:17,269 --> 00:09:24,654
♪♪
236
00:09:24,843 --> 00:09:26,191
Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
237
00:09:26,243 --> 00:09:27,897
Is there, like, another saxophone guy?
238
00:09:27,952 --> 00:09:30,252
I will take two trumpets
if that's all you got.
239
00:09:30,348 --> 00:09:31,781
Here. Cheers.
240
00:09:31,945 --> 00:09:39,675
♪♪
241
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,920
♪♪
242
00:09:44,162 --> 00:09:46,165
Oh, yeah. See, that's good.
243
00:09:46,230 --> 00:09:47,697
You can taste the jazz!
244
00:09:47,866 --> 00:09:52,318
♪♪
245
00:09:52,570 --> 00:09:54,751
Oh! Oh, shit!
246
00:09:54,932 --> 00:09:56,065
Oh, are you all right?
247
00:09:56,254 --> 00:09:58,387
- No!
- Oh, shit!
248
00:09:58,412 --> 00:10:00,727
- God damn it! God!
- [LAUGHS]
249
00:10:00,778 --> 00:10:02,878
How's that ankle doing?
Still smarting back there?
250
00:10:02,927 --> 00:10:06,232
It hurts. And my head hurts.
251
00:10:06,464 --> 00:10:08,864
Oh, are you sobering up?
No. Can't have that.
252
00:10:08,889 --> 00:10:10,221
We gotta get you another drink.
253
00:10:10,595 --> 00:10:11,883
[CHUCKLES]
254
00:10:11,956 --> 00:10:13,432
I used to keep up with you.
255
00:10:13,468 --> 00:10:16,105
- What's happened?
- I... Oh!
256
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:19,134
Uh, I may not be in the major leagues,
257
00:10:19,217 --> 00:10:22,151
but I've really upped my game
when it comes to my alcoholism.
258
00:10:22,266 --> 00:10:23,799
Yeah, New Orleans is...
259
00:10:23,835 --> 00:10:25,428
It's really the place to go pro.
260
00:10:25,529 --> 00:10:28,832
And you know who has
an up-and-coming bar scene?
261
00:10:28,866 --> 00:10:30,112
Morristown.
262
00:10:30,201 --> 00:10:32,334
Oh, yeah, Morristown has its charms.
263
00:10:32,429 --> 00:10:34,359
- It does.
- Mm-hmm.
264
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:35,925
Ooh, Jules, you know what
265
00:10:35,950 --> 00:10:37,916
- night I always think about?
- Mmm, which one?
266
00:10:37,951 --> 00:10:40,857
- The time that we drank Sambuca...
- [GASPS]
267
00:10:40,919 --> 00:10:43,490
- ...at home plate there.
- Oh, babe, me, too.
268
00:10:43,534 --> 00:10:45,400
But this time,
can we have sex in a bed,
269
00:10:45,425 --> 00:10:47,025
'cause I don't want to pick dirt
270
00:10:47,050 --> 00:10:48,659
out of my ass crack for two weeks.
271
00:10:48,686 --> 00:10:50,953
I don't, either.
Sure thing! I'm gonna run.
272
00:10:51,075 --> 00:10:56,312
♪♪
273
00:10:56,381 --> 00:10:57,874
Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait.
274
00:10:57,936 --> 00:10:59,202
[CHUCKLES]
275
00:10:59,278 --> 00:11:01,204
You just have this
hotel room all the time?
276
00:11:01,393 --> 00:11:03,199
Oh, yes, this is where
I take the strange
277
00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:05,106
I don't want to bring home.
278
00:11:05,477 --> 00:11:08,224
Charles can be a real judgy
little prick sometimes.
279
00:11:08,249 --> 00:11:10,464
I see. So, am I the strange?
280
00:11:10,561 --> 00:11:12,829
Oh, yes, you are. You're...
You are the strange.
281
00:11:12,904 --> 00:11:14,369
- Yes!
- Yeah, you are.
282
00:11:14,405 --> 00:11:16,098
- Your slut.
- [CHUCKLES]
283
00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:17,513
So...
284
00:11:17,562 --> 00:11:19,588
did you have a-a good time tonight?
285
00:11:19,694 --> 00:11:21,324
Are you kidding? I'm in love.
286
00:11:24,361 --> 00:11:26,428
- With New Orleans.
- [SIGHS]
287
00:11:26,631 --> 00:11:28,510
- Please!
- Ugh.
288
00:11:28,767 --> 00:11:30,138
No, well, I am, too.
289
00:11:30,163 --> 00:11:32,733
God, you terrified me there.
290
00:11:33,204 --> 00:11:36,405
I mean, you know, it's nice to
finally find a home, you know,
291
00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:37,536
and...
292
00:11:37,602 --> 00:11:39,068
finally settle down.
293
00:11:39,110 --> 00:11:41,283
All it took was the love of a good...
294
00:11:41,713 --> 00:11:43,163
city.
295
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:46,513
- I don't believe in a soul.
- Okay.
296
00:11:46,538 --> 00:11:49,095
I think it's just a delusion
that masks the fact
297
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,174
that we're all just lumpy sacks of meat
298
00:11:51,215 --> 00:11:53,676
marching towards
our inevitable obsolescence.
299
00:11:53,768 --> 00:11:56,139
Can we dispense with the graveyard
300
00:11:56,164 --> 00:11:57,639
- play-by-play...?
- Since I don't believe in a soul,
301
00:11:57,663 --> 00:11:59,692
I can't say that I believe
in a soul mate, Jules.
302
00:11:59,717 --> 00:12:01,050
But I'll tell you something.
303
00:12:01,143 --> 00:12:03,749
Uh, I do know that the connection
304
00:12:03,774 --> 00:12:06,809
that I feel between the two
of us... I'm serious now...
305
00:12:09,474 --> 00:12:11,819
It's the most profound thing
I've ever known.
306
00:12:20,938 --> 00:12:23,285
I just messed it up, didn't I?
307
00:12:23,354 --> 00:12:24,752
- No.
- I did.
308
00:12:24,808 --> 00:12:27,687
No, I-I know what you mean.
309
00:12:27,845 --> 00:12:29,578
Usually when someone hurts me,
310
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:33,032
I could cut them out of my life
like the tumor they are, but...
311
00:12:33,724 --> 00:12:36,089
[SIGHING] oh, with you, I can't.
312
00:12:36,181 --> 00:12:38,237
Okay, so to me, you're a profound love,
313
00:12:38,262 --> 00:12:39,972
- and to you, I'm a tumor?
- Yeah.
314
00:12:40,037 --> 00:12:43,839
You're a tumor. Tumor I like.
Like a benign one.
315
00:12:43,868 --> 00:12:46,395
You know what? I'll take it.
316
00:12:47,231 --> 00:12:49,631
At this point, I'll take it.
317
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:52,890
Am I still the only person you've
ever had sex with on home plate?
318
00:12:53,056 --> 00:12:55,489
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
319
00:12:56,923 --> 00:12:59,608
Although Uribe and I did
jerk off on the pitcher's mound.
320
00:12:59,642 --> 00:13:01,476
- Now you ruined it.
- [CHUCKLES]
321
00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:02,769
How about that beignet?
322
00:13:02,794 --> 00:13:05,929
Oh. I-I-I don't have any clothes.
323
00:13:06,103 --> 00:13:10,039
You spilled Curaçao all over
my... my... my... my shirt.
324
00:13:10,112 --> 00:13:12,267
You ripped my pants.
My bag is at the airport.
325
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,346
- I mean...
- I got you covered.
326
00:13:13,371 --> 00:13:15,137
Why are there so many bras?
327
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,414
Are women in that big
of a hurry to leave afterwards?
328
00:13:17,476 --> 00:13:20,568
Hey, my love life's kind of
like the airport TGI Fridays.
329
00:13:20,605 --> 00:13:22,838
It is all about turning those tables.
330
00:13:22,863 --> 00:13:24,988
Look at this. I feel like
I'm in Filene's Basement.
331
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:26,278
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
332
00:13:26,351 --> 00:13:28,738
Oh, shit, I've gotta take this.
333
00:13:28,834 --> 00:13:30,566
- Brockmire.
- It's Whitney.
334
00:13:30,597 --> 00:13:33,626
- Is this a good time?
- Well, uh, you tell me.
335
00:13:34,305 --> 00:13:35,937
[WATER RUNNING]
336
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:39,996
♪♪
337
00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:42,402
Hi. I was interested
in changing my flight.
338
00:13:42,427 --> 00:13:44,761
I have a flight tonight,
and I was wondering
339
00:13:44,786 --> 00:13:47,386
what your policy is
about getting reimbursed.
340
00:13:47,484 --> 00:13:49,484
I reviewed the data,
and, overwhelmingly,
341
00:13:49,574 --> 00:13:51,400
it seems like the greatest
benefit to the franchise
342
00:13:51,442 --> 00:13:53,100
would be to go with Raj.
343
00:13:53,697 --> 00:13:55,364
Okay. [SIGHS] That's...
344
00:13:55,439 --> 00:13:59,073
- pretty much what I figured.
- But I was overruled.
345
00:13:59,737 --> 00:14:01,135
What?
346
00:14:01,886 --> 00:14:03,085
[GAGS]
347
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:04,994
My flight got canceled.
348
00:14:05,784 --> 00:14:07,484
[CONFUSED] My flight got canceled.
349
00:14:09,751 --> 00:14:10,924
Hey.
350
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,509
You're not gonna believe this,
but my flight got canceled.
351
00:14:13,611 --> 00:14:14,740
Jules, I got it.
352
00:14:14,805 --> 00:14:18,090
I got the job! I am...
I'm going to Atlanta!
353
00:14:18,363 --> 00:14:21,164
- Yeah!
- Wait, what?
354
00:14:22,335 --> 00:14:23,639
How is this possible?
355
00:14:23,664 --> 00:14:25,398
You never mentioned there was
a chance you were leaving.
356
00:14:25,422 --> 00:14:26,826
Jules, I didn't think there was,
357
00:14:26,851 --> 00:14:28,151
but I gotta get to Atlanta
358
00:14:28,176 --> 00:14:29,989
and press the flesh of my benefactors.
359
00:14:30,014 --> 00:14:32,080
- When?
- Now.
360
00:14:32,275 --> 00:14:33,417
You're meeting them today?
361
00:14:33,442 --> 00:14:35,061
Well, the meeting's not till Wednesday,
362
00:14:35,086 --> 00:14:36,446
but I'm taking the next flight.
363
00:14:36,471 --> 00:14:38,426
- Well, change it.
- Oh, Jules, I would love to.
364
00:14:38,499 --> 00:14:40,479
No, I really would, but, you know,
365
00:14:40,537 --> 00:14:42,280
I-I-I kind of like
to tool around a city
366
00:14:42,305 --> 00:14:45,055
and get to know it for a couple
of days before I represent it.
367
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,514
I mean, you know... kinda my process.
368
00:14:47,618 --> 00:14:49,518
Your process? What are you, Basquiat?
369
00:14:49,543 --> 00:14:50,876
You report things that people
370
00:14:50,901 --> 00:14:52,533
can already see with their own eyes.
371
00:14:52,603 --> 00:14:54,428
Well, some people would say
there's kind of an art
372
00:14:54,472 --> 00:14:56,821
- to what I do.
- I changed my flight for you!
373
00:14:57,061 --> 00:14:58,864
You told me it was... It was cancelled.
374
00:14:58,889 --> 00:15:01,412
I lied! Obviously!
375
00:15:02,113 --> 00:15:04,276
Jesus, just... Yeah. Call a taxi.
All right.
376
00:15:04,342 --> 00:15:06,141
No, no, no, no, no.
I'll... I'll push my flight.
377
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:08,800
- Don't do me any favors.
- Ple... I want to. I do.
378
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,191
Of course, I wanna push my flight, J...
379
00:15:10,234 --> 00:15:12,701
Hey, come on. Please don't leave now.
380
00:15:17,729 --> 00:15:18,995
Why not?
381
00:15:22,219 --> 00:15:23,610
Well, beignets.
382
00:15:23,735 --> 00:15:26,778
♪♪
383
00:15:27,103 --> 00:15:28,464
- What will it be?
- Two beignets,
384
00:15:28,506 --> 00:15:30,306
we know that for sure, and...
385
00:15:30,374 --> 00:15:31,677
A chicory coffee.
386
00:15:31,757 --> 00:15:34,114
No, uh, regular.
Two regular coffees, please.
387
00:15:34,249 --> 00:15:35,554
Allow me to explain.
388
00:15:35,646 --> 00:15:38,180
Um, chicory was originally marketed
389
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:40,940
as kind of a filler
to make coffee go farther.
390
00:15:40,965 --> 00:15:43,364
It's kind of like
it's a dried up old beet root
391
00:15:43,389 --> 00:15:44,922
with absolutely no caffeine in it.
392
00:15:44,975 --> 00:15:47,525
Drinking chicory coffee
when regular coffee is available
393
00:15:47,550 --> 00:15:51,952
is kind of like seeing a bong full
of fresh Jack Herer and going,
394
00:15:52,002 --> 00:15:53,735
"Nah, no, thanks. I'll just, uh..."
395
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,317
I'll take that half-smoked spliff
396
00:15:55,342 --> 00:15:57,777
"out of that ashtray
over there." [SNIFFS]
397
00:15:57,868 --> 00:16:00,634
- Do you ever shut up?
- I do not, no.
398
00:16:00,704 --> 00:16:02,689
But, hey, you knew that, didn't you?
399
00:16:04,219 --> 00:16:06,378
- I'm such an idiot!
- No...
400
00:16:06,403 --> 00:16:08,202
You're not an idiot. You didn't know.
401
00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,272
Chicory is real popular around here.
402
00:16:14,471 --> 00:16:15,938
Jules!
403
00:16:17,608 --> 00:16:20,008
[CELLPHONE CLICKS]
404
00:16:20,214 --> 00:16:21,814
- What's up?
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
405
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:28,095
I started thinking,
"I like it here, and...
406
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,605
I like being with Jim."
407
00:16:32,770 --> 00:16:34,515
If I don't buy into this team,
408
00:16:34,571 --> 00:16:36,417
that's five months
during the off-season.
409
00:16:36,442 --> 00:16:37,970
Maybe I could split my time between...
410
00:16:37,995 --> 00:16:40,711
Well, yes. We... Why can't we do that?
411
00:16:40,864 --> 00:16:42,655
An hour ago, it was New Orleans.
412
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,452
Now it's Atlanta. What's it
gonna be in six months?
413
00:16:44,482 --> 00:16:47,347
- I can't just follow you around!
- Why not?
414
00:16:47,391 --> 00:16:49,959
Jules, I am... I am very delightful.
415
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,015
I have a life in Morristown,
416
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,067
- in case you forgot.
- No, I know.
417
00:16:53,091 --> 00:16:54,557
I know better than
to ask you to leave there.
418
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,225
- But, look, Jules...
- Then what are you saying?
419
00:16:56,273 --> 00:16:58,926
I am saying I've been
doing some thinking, too.
420
00:16:59,095 --> 00:17:01,817
Tonight was amazing.
I mean, it was just...
421
00:17:01,885 --> 00:17:03,885
Right? It was unbelievable. [SNIFFS]
422
00:17:04,054 --> 00:17:05,780
Why can't we meet up once a month
423
00:17:05,860 --> 00:17:07,249
at one of my road games?
424
00:17:07,290 --> 00:17:09,898
Could be in Miami or St. Louis,
Cincinnati, wherever.
425
00:17:09,923 --> 00:17:11,923
The point is, it will be
a night just like tonight,
426
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,948
we'll be two people,
we won't know anybody.
427
00:17:13,973 --> 00:17:15,689
We'll be free
to just explore a new city.
428
00:17:15,714 --> 00:17:17,807
We can just drink and dance and just...
429
00:17:18,255 --> 00:17:20,055
screw and...
430
00:17:20,104 --> 00:17:22,833
We can just... We can disappear, Jules.
431
00:17:26,658 --> 00:17:28,084
So, a bender?
432
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:31,189
No, okay, yes... no.
But, yes, all right.
433
00:17:31,214 --> 00:17:32,881
Well, just think about it,
just for a second.
434
00:17:32,906 --> 00:17:35,140
All highs, no lows. Right?
435
00:17:35,165 --> 00:17:37,900
We'll never have to fight over
who empties the dishwasher
436
00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:39,457
or pick up each other's dry cleaning
437
00:17:39,483 --> 00:17:42,351
or ask each other,
"How was your day, hon?"
438
00:17:42,407 --> 00:17:43,583
Jules, I'll never have to pretend
439
00:17:43,608 --> 00:17:45,051
that I didn't just hear you fart.
440
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:47,143
Okay, think about that.
No, wait... no, really!
441
00:17:47,168 --> 00:17:49,302
We just cut out all
the mundane bullshit
442
00:17:49,327 --> 00:17:52,361
and get right to
the perfect relationship.
443
00:17:55,872 --> 00:17:58,706
The "mundane bullshit"
is a relationship.
444
00:17:58,789 --> 00:18:01,058
Yeah, but I know, but why settle
for that when we can...
445
00:18:01,083 --> 00:18:02,509
You know, we can make up our own rules!
446
00:18:02,534 --> 00:18:05,266
Because I'd still be settling.
447
00:18:05,449 --> 00:18:07,015
I want someone to have
a night like tonight with
448
00:18:07,063 --> 00:18:09,029
who'll also be there
when I wake up in the morning.
449
00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:10,301
I want to have adventures with someone,
450
00:18:10,325 --> 00:18:13,160
but I also want someone
to pay the bills with and...
451
00:18:13,415 --> 00:18:14,702
go grocery shopping
452
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:17,327
and tell me when it's time
to wash my smelly jeans.
453
00:18:17,414 --> 00:18:19,704
- And I deserve all that.
- Jules, you do.
454
00:18:19,870 --> 00:18:21,819
Dear God, you do.
455
00:18:22,914 --> 00:18:25,000
It's all I can offer you
right now, though.
456
00:18:26,817 --> 00:18:29,263
You have a choice, and
you're not choosing me...
457
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:30,322
- again!
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
458
00:18:30,347 --> 00:18:33,117
Come on. That's a very
harsh way to put it.
459
00:18:33,490 --> 00:18:35,824
What are you doing? I was gonna
take you to the airport.
460
00:18:36,028 --> 00:18:39,096
I won't subject you
to that mundane shit, hon.
461
00:18:39,415 --> 00:18:42,177
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]
462
00:18:42,386 --> 00:18:44,353
Your beignets are ready.
463
00:18:46,909 --> 00:18:48,843
[CHUCKLES]
464
00:18:49,579 --> 00:18:51,480
[DISCORDANT JAZZ PLAYS]
465
00:18:51,622 --> 00:18:53,995
♪♪
466
00:18:54,112 --> 00:18:57,170
[GIGGLES]
467
00:18:59,150 --> 00:19:00,750
[CLICKS TONGUE]
468
00:19:01,042 --> 00:19:08,178
♪♪
469
00:19:10,762 --> 00:19:18,762
♪♪
470
00:19:19,883 --> 00:19:21,816
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
471
00:19:21,906 --> 00:19:24,640
♪♪
472
00:19:28,138 --> 00:19:29,471
Hey.
473
00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:32,274
- I'll have what he's having.
- What?
474
00:19:32,569 --> 00:19:34,517
It's a callback, asshole.
475
00:19:34,785 --> 00:19:36,684
Give me a Sazerac, neat.
476
00:19:37,527 --> 00:19:40,200
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
477
00:19:41,792 --> 00:19:44,932
Well, everybody, I want you
to enjoy yourselves!
478
00:19:44,962 --> 00:19:47,162
Soak up every last moment
of New Orleans
479
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,187
that you possibly can. Why?
480
00:19:49,267 --> 00:19:51,892
Because the sea levels,
they are rising faster
481
00:19:51,917 --> 00:19:55,018
than even the most dire
predictions, and nobody,
482
00:19:55,043 --> 00:19:58,850
and I mean nobody in power
seems to give a shit about that.
483
00:19:59,043 --> 00:20:01,310
Two generations. Two.
484
00:20:01,358 --> 00:20:04,028
All the above-ground cemeteries,
they're gonna be underwater.
485
00:20:04,128 --> 00:20:07,377
So, uh... yeah, we're all
just playing a fiddle
486
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,418
while Rome drowns, aren't we?
487
00:20:09,554 --> 00:20:11,420
So salud.
488
00:20:11,542 --> 00:20:16,679
[WOMAN LAUGHS]
489
00:20:16,847 --> 00:20:18,092
What's so funny down there?
490
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:20,518
Oh, nothing, Al Gore.
491
00:20:20,698 --> 00:20:23,845
Thanks for the climate-change lecture.
492
00:20:23,894 --> 00:20:25,860
I'll be sure to buy a Prius.
493
00:20:25,983 --> 00:20:27,550
Not saying we should try to stop it.
494
00:20:27,575 --> 00:20:30,701
I'm saying we should embrace it.
Just embrace the futility.
495
00:20:30,775 --> 00:20:32,554
[CHUCKLES]
496
00:20:32,910 --> 00:20:36,404
You sound like a junior-high kid
who just discovered Nietzsche.
497
00:20:36,506 --> 00:20:39,614
Yeah, well, it's not my first
nihilist rodeo, I assure you.
498
00:20:39,710 --> 00:20:41,110
[CHUCKLES]
499
00:20:44,989 --> 00:20:50,456
So you really think
our actions are meaningless?
500
00:20:50,628 --> 00:20:52,308
That...
501
00:20:52,956 --> 00:20:55,090
consequences don't matter?
502
00:20:57,287 --> 00:20:58,608
Prove it.
503
00:20:59,757 --> 00:21:01,971
And how would you like me to do that?
504
00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:07,609
- [SCREAMS]
- Oh, shit!
505
00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:09,851
[MAN GROANING]
506
00:21:12,550 --> 00:21:15,796
- What the hell are you doing?!
- Looking for my Tide Pen.
507
00:21:16,239 --> 00:21:18,239
Jesus Christ!
508
00:21:18,597 --> 00:21:21,290
When you're really ready to go
down the rabbit hole,
509
00:21:21,369 --> 00:21:23,089
call me.
510
00:21:23,354 --> 00:21:25,354
All right, okay.
511
00:21:25,416 --> 00:21:26,749
Shit.
512
00:21:26,831 --> 00:21:31,367
♪♪
513
00:21:31,617 --> 00:21:33,650
Are you... Are you all right?
514
00:21:33,744 --> 00:21:35,544
[STRAINING] Mm-hmm.
515
00:21:35,751 --> 00:21:37,138
♪♪
516
00:21:37,353 --> 00:21:41,120
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