All language subtitles for Brockmire - 01x02 - Winning Streak.WEBRip.x264

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,995 --> 00:00:33,288 Oh. 2 00:00:33,448 --> 00:00:34,409 Ohh! 3 00:00:35,593 --> 00:00:36,649 Whoo! 4 00:00:36,664 --> 00:00:38,436 . Whoo. 5 00:00:40,603 --> 00:00:43,270 _ 6 00:00:46,367 --> 00:00:50,231 _ 7 00:00:52,491 --> 00:00:54,386 Mm-hmm. 8 00:01:33,139 --> 00:01:34,574 The Morristown Frackers 9 00:01:34,610 --> 00:01:37,280 would like to thank you all for attending today. 10 00:01:40,363 --> 00:01:44,467 All... oh, let's call it a dozen of you. 11 00:01:44,550 --> 00:01:46,086 Guess you lucky fans 12 00:01:46,158 --> 00:01:48,286 can just feel free to stretch your legs right out 13 00:01:48,354 --> 00:01:50,362 and enjoy your own section 14 00:01:50,437 --> 00:01:52,673 all to yourself. 15 00:01:59,551 --> 00:02:01,101 Hey. 16 00:02:01,348 --> 00:02:03,651 What, um... What are you... What are you wearing? 17 00:02:03,717 --> 00:02:05,386 Yeah, all right. I know I look ridiculous, 18 00:02:05,452 --> 00:02:08,074 but my dad wore it when they went on a winning streak in '86, 19 00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:11,187 so I figured, can't hurt. 20 00:02:11,324 --> 00:02:15,462 Is dressing badly, like, just a thing for baseball? 21 00:02:15,529 --> 00:02:17,230 'Cause that would explain his jacket. 22 00:02:17,297 --> 00:02:20,433 Superstition is a thing in baseball. 23 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,269 It's a tradition that if you're on a losing streak, 24 00:02:22,336 --> 00:02:23,871 you change everything that you're doing. 25 00:02:23,938 --> 00:02:24,939 And if you're on a winning streak, 26 00:02:25,005 --> 00:02:26,506 you don't change anything. 27 00:02:26,574 --> 00:02:28,175 Well said. Now, can you say some of that into the mic? 28 00:02:28,242 --> 00:02:29,743 I ain't paying you to talk to Charles. 29 00:02:29,809 --> 00:02:30,811 Uribe's at the plate. 30 00:02:32,813 --> 00:02:34,041 I don't need a microphone 31 00:02:34,105 --> 00:02:37,517 to chat with a dozen people at the ballpark. 32 00:02:37,585 --> 00:02:40,653 Hey, Uribe! You look slimmer! Did you lose weight? 33 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:44,325 Oh, yes, I did, Jim. Thank you for noticing. 34 00:02:45,158 --> 00:02:47,628 As long as it's into the mic. 35 00:02:51,032 --> 00:02:54,401 Pedro Uribe has lost weight. 36 00:02:54,468 --> 00:02:56,670 That is all. 37 00:02:56,736 --> 00:02:59,272 You know what's not helping my suicidal depression? 38 00:02:59,339 --> 00:03:01,509 Calling baseball games into an empty stadium 39 00:03:01,575 --> 00:03:03,743 and having my own words bounce back into my face 40 00:03:03,811 --> 00:03:07,014 like some kind of haunting metaphor for life's futility. 41 00:03:07,081 --> 00:03:09,683 Listen, my plan is gonna take time. 42 00:03:09,749 --> 00:03:11,919 Morristown has been drowning in apathy for so long, 43 00:03:11,986 --> 00:03:13,287 they... they don't even recognize 44 00:03:13,354 --> 00:03:15,122 that I'm throwing them a life preserver. 45 00:03:15,188 --> 00:03:17,343 Plus, I'm competing with dirt-cheap entertainment 46 00:03:17,413 --> 00:03:18,580 that's in every home here. 47 00:03:18,926 --> 00:03:20,161 Cable? 48 00:03:21,194 --> 00:03:23,263 - Meth. - Ah. 49 00:03:23,331 --> 00:03:25,266 But they'll all come around soon enough 50 00:03:25,332 --> 00:03:27,867 'cause I'm offering the only drug more powerful. 51 00:03:27,934 --> 00:03:29,336 Heroin. 52 00:03:29,402 --> 00:03:31,104 Nostalgia. 53 00:03:31,171 --> 00:03:33,873 I think you're wildly underestimating heroin. 54 00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:35,368 When the team starts winning again, 55 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:39,446 everyone's gonna come back so they can relive the glory days. 56 00:03:39,512 --> 00:03:40,480 What makes you think 57 00:03:40,528 --> 00:03:42,550 that that team is gonna win any ball games? 58 00:03:42,617 --> 00:03:46,687 Our luck is gonna change. We're due! 59 00:03:46,754 --> 00:03:48,989 The team, me, even you. 60 00:04:00,801 --> 00:04:04,104 Oh, yeah, laugh at my hope. 61 00:04:04,170 --> 00:04:07,942 I'm sorry, it's just... You actually believe that? 62 00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:11,044 Yeah, and I put my money where my mouth is when I got my loan. 63 00:04:13,213 --> 00:04:14,881 You know what? Let me take a look at this. 64 00:04:14,949 --> 00:04:16,550 - No, wait, 'cause it's... - No, no! Come on. 65 00:04:16,617 --> 00:04:18,519 No! It's turtle racing starting soon. 66 00:04:18,586 --> 00:04:20,287 - Stacy. - Come on, hey, let me see it. 67 00:04:20,354 --> 00:04:21,722 I know a thing or two about loans. 68 00:04:21,789 --> 00:04:24,223 I did a bunch of commercials for reverse mortgages 69 00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:25,660 back in the Philippines. 70 00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:28,661 Is it big enough? 71 00:04:28,728 --> 00:04:31,164 Uh, I'm gonna need you to top me off, though, first. 72 00:04:31,232 --> 00:04:34,635 Jesus, you're blowing through all my good whiskey. 73 00:04:36,103 --> 00:04:37,403 Care for some... 74 00:04:38,538 --> 00:04:40,039 ... Sambuca? 75 00:04:50,785 --> 00:04:53,020 You have a balloon payment due 76 00:04:53,086 --> 00:04:55,188 after the first month of the season? 77 00:04:55,248 --> 00:04:57,917 Yep. Hey! No nudging the turtles! 78 00:04:59,927 --> 00:05:01,795 Yeah, wait till you get to page 47. 79 00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:03,263 No, I saw that. 80 00:05:03,329 --> 00:05:05,999 The team has to finish above .500. 81 00:05:09,869 --> 00:05:13,139 Why in the world would you agree to all this crap? 82 00:05:13,206 --> 00:05:15,009 I couldn't just let the team die. 83 00:05:15,076 --> 00:05:17,544 It would be like losing a limb. 84 00:05:17,610 --> 00:05:21,486 My dad played first base for Morristown from '81 to '87. 85 00:05:22,449 --> 00:05:26,619 Shit, I lost my virginity in the visitors' bullpen in '88. 86 00:05:26,687 --> 00:05:29,189 I did what I had to do. 87 00:05:29,256 --> 00:05:31,859 Here's to giant, life-altering mistakes. 88 00:05:31,925 --> 00:05:34,861 We both know them well. 89 00:05:34,929 --> 00:05:37,131 We surely do. 90 00:05:39,365 --> 00:05:41,934 Ugh! This shit is disgusting. 91 00:05:42,002 --> 00:05:43,603 - It does the trick. - Mm-hmm. 92 00:05:43,670 --> 00:05:46,139 Christ's sakes, you're starting to look good to me, 93 00:05:46,206 --> 00:05:47,874 and you're a goddamned disaster. 94 00:05:47,942 --> 00:05:50,110 Well, thank you for the half-compliment. 95 00:05:50,177 --> 00:05:51,545 And for the record, 96 00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:54,281 you looked good to me when that bottle was still full. 97 00:05:54,348 --> 00:05:56,884 I'll give you one shot. 98 00:05:56,951 --> 00:05:58,485 Woo me. 99 00:05:58,552 --> 00:06:01,188 I may not be the best in any room, 100 00:06:01,254 --> 00:06:04,057 but I am definitely the best in this room. 101 00:06:10,598 --> 00:06:12,566 - Get it off! - I'm getting it off! 102 00:06:12,632 --> 00:06:14,798 Aah! 103 00:06:14,901 --> 00:06:16,336 All right, for those of you just joining us, 104 00:06:16,403 --> 00:06:18,105 I got a good one going here. 105 00:06:18,172 --> 00:06:19,540 Brockmire taking no chances, 106 00:06:19,607 --> 00:06:21,008 starting right off in the missionary. 107 00:06:21,074 --> 00:06:22,375 Okay, shh. 108 00:06:22,442 --> 00:06:23,810 - He's trying to find his rhythm. - Okay, okay, shh. 109 00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:25,312 Ho! 110 00:06:25,379 --> 00:06:28,581 Julia James with a surprise finger in the keister! 111 00:06:28,648 --> 00:06:30,516 And Brockmire is into it. 112 00:06:31,819 --> 00:06:33,319 Oh, man! 113 00:06:33,386 --> 00:06:36,089 The old fastball sign makes for a real snug butt plug. 114 00:06:36,156 --> 00:06:37,857 Okay, folks. 115 00:06:37,925 --> 00:06:40,494 Bott... 116 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:41,994 Bottom of the 9th. 117 00:06:44,197 --> 00:06:45,765 Frackers have runners on the corners, 118 00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:47,167 and I'm just gonna... 119 00:06:47,233 --> 00:06:50,369 I'm gonna rest my eyes for just a little bit. 120 00:06:50,437 --> 00:06:53,006 Sambuca. 121 00:06:55,708 --> 00:07:00,012 Hey, am I wrong? Is the winning point at bat? 122 00:07:00,079 --> 00:07:02,815 The winning run is up, yes, 123 00:07:02,882 --> 00:07:04,217 but he hits the ball 124 00:07:04,285 --> 00:07:06,487 like he's trying to wake it up from a little nap, 125 00:07:06,554 --> 00:07:09,656 so I'm just gonna take it easy until he makes the final out. 126 00:07:09,723 --> 00:07:10,924 Okay, whatever, 127 00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:12,425 as long as you stop talking about... 128 00:07:12,492 --> 00:07:15,228 Oh, my God, last night was some of the best sex I ever had. 129 00:07:15,295 --> 00:07:18,098 No. No, you didn't stop talking about it. 130 00:07:18,165 --> 00:07:20,333 There was an improvisational quality to it. 131 00:07:20,401 --> 00:07:23,069 It... It was like every surface in her apartment 132 00:07:23,127 --> 00:07:25,262 - was a workbench upon which... - No. 133 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,502 Yeah, upon which 134 00:07:26,531 --> 00:07:27,815 - we constructed our sexual art. - Please. 135 00:07:28,074 --> 00:07:31,110 Hey, Jim? Please stop, okay? 136 00:07:31,177 --> 00:07:32,612 Jules is like my mom, 137 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,014 and you've been talking about having sex with her 138 00:07:35,081 --> 00:07:36,149 for the past three hours. 139 00:07:36,216 --> 00:07:37,683 - I just... - It's messed up! 140 00:07:37,751 --> 00:07:39,853 I just... I have to end things with her 141 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,156 before everything gets messy, 142 00:07:42,223 --> 00:07:44,258 metaphorically and literally. 143 00:07:44,324 --> 00:07:46,592 We went through half a tube of lube last night. 144 00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:47,828 Aaaah! 145 00:07:47,910 --> 00:07:49,144 Stop it! Stop, shh! 146 00:07:49,196 --> 00:07:50,998 This wasn't about vaginal moisture. 147 00:07:51,064 --> 00:07:52,533 She has that in spades. 148 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,701 It was strictly a friction issue. 149 00:07:54,768 --> 00:07:56,336 Shut up! 150 00:07:58,538 --> 00:08:00,173 Lazy fly ball to left field. 151 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,642 This should do it, folks. 152 00:08:02,877 --> 00:08:03,877 Whoa! 153 00:08:03,944 --> 00:08:05,379 No! It falls! 154 00:08:05,446 --> 00:08:08,549 And now Maldonado kicks it like it owes him money. 155 00:08:08,615 --> 00:08:11,517 And now they're sprinting around the bases. 156 00:08:11,584 --> 00:08:14,120 - Go, go, go! - It's a Little League home run! 157 00:08:14,187 --> 00:08:15,855 The Frackers win! 158 00:08:17,057 --> 00:08:19,559 The Frackers win! 159 00:08:21,528 --> 00:08:23,864 Yeah! Whoo! 160 00:08:31,271 --> 00:08:33,039 Uh... 161 00:08:35,074 --> 00:08:37,543 Uh... for the record, 162 00:08:37,610 --> 00:08:39,879 Sambuca tastes better on the way out, folks. 163 00:08:42,416 --> 00:08:43,884 Ohh. 164 00:08:43,951 --> 00:08:46,687 Look, I'm disaster on about 17 different levels, all right, 165 00:08:46,754 --> 00:08:49,255 so I just think any more hanky panky between us 166 00:08:49,322 --> 00:08:51,524 would, well, probably be a mistake. 167 00:08:51,591 --> 00:08:52,826 Huge mistake. 168 00:08:52,893 --> 00:08:55,394 For Christ's sakes, you say things like "hanky panky." 169 00:08:55,461 --> 00:08:56,896 Trust me, sleeping with you 170 00:08:56,964 --> 00:08:58,365 was one of the biggest regrets of my life, 171 00:08:58,432 --> 00:09:00,834 and I have a tattoo of a dream catcher on my ankle. 172 00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:02,549 To be clear, okay, I... 173 00:09:02,612 --> 00:09:04,580 Hey, I do not think that I am capable 174 00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:07,144 of having a successful adult relationship anymore. 175 00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:09,776 Yeah, no. That's... abundantly clear. 176 00:09:09,842 --> 00:09:13,145 Well, getting emasculated in front of America 177 00:09:13,212 --> 00:09:14,581 caused me to chase ass like a Kennedy, 178 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:18,055 but, you know, you're not just some fling in a bar. 179 00:09:18,102 --> 00:09:19,219 You happen to be my boss. 180 00:09:19,286 --> 00:09:21,154 So... What... What... What are you doing? 181 00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:23,322 Are you serious? 182 00:09:23,389 --> 00:09:24,857 They won. 183 00:09:24,924 --> 00:09:28,227 So... unfortunately for both of us, 184 00:09:28,294 --> 00:09:31,831 we're gonna have to repeat everything we did last night. 185 00:09:35,133 --> 00:09:36,982 Ho, what the hell. All right. 186 00:09:37,021 --> 00:09:38,772 Uh, just keep that dream catcher tattoo covered up, 187 00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:41,374 because I have to maintain an erection over here. 188 00:09:41,442 --> 00:09:43,210 I actually don't think that's gonna be a problem. 189 00:09:43,277 --> 00:09:45,012 I call bottom this time! 190 00:09:48,615 --> 00:09:50,549 I can believe you went down on me three times. 191 00:09:50,616 --> 00:09:52,101 Oh, I can do it again. 192 00:09:52,149 --> 00:09:53,119 You still haven't experienced 193 00:09:53,194 --> 00:09:56,517 what I like to call the conference on the mound. 194 00:09:56,526 --> 00:09:57,820 - Okay, shh. - You know, it's kind of a... 195 00:09:57,915 --> 00:09:59,724 Shut up. 196 00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,194 Is that the finger that you put in my ass? 197 00:10:02,786 --> 00:10:03,820 Shh. 198 00:10:05,106 --> 00:10:06,661 Hope you folks are all enjoying 199 00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:09,009 "Free Cold Medicine Day" here at the ballpark. 200 00:10:09,070 --> 00:10:12,071 Quick reminder... Go ahead and have another gel pack. 201 00:10:12,138 --> 00:10:13,606 The Frackers won't judge you 202 00:10:13,674 --> 00:10:16,197 like those snooty pharmacy assholes. 203 00:10:16,276 --> 00:10:18,112 All right, now, listen up. 204 00:10:18,179 --> 00:10:19,480 We got a good one going here. 205 00:10:19,546 --> 00:10:20,882 Look at the field now, 206 00:10:20,948 --> 00:10:22,316 because the Frackers are threatening 207 00:10:22,382 --> 00:10:23,550 here in the bottom of the 8th 208 00:10:23,617 --> 00:10:25,185 with runners on the corners. 209 00:10:27,021 --> 00:10:28,822 And here comes the pitch. 210 00:10:30,291 --> 00:10:31,452 Whoo! 211 00:10:31,524 --> 00:10:35,928 Some might call that Istanbul, but I call it Constantinople! 212 00:10:35,996 --> 00:10:37,801 The Frackers take the lead! 213 00:10:37,857 --> 00:10:39,599 My gosh, what a comeback. 214 00:10:39,666 --> 00:10:44,937 So, a Sambuca-fueled Brockmire is still struggling mightily 215 00:10:45,004 --> 00:10:46,205 with the button-fly jeans. 216 00:10:46,272 --> 00:10:47,974 Come on, now! 217 00:10:48,041 --> 00:10:49,810 All right. Here comes the payoff pitch from Grant. 218 00:10:50,978 --> 00:10:53,180 Deep fly ball to center field. 219 00:10:53,247 --> 00:10:54,615 Back at the warning track. 220 00:10:54,681 --> 00:10:56,616 He makes the grab, 221 00:10:56,684 --> 00:11:01,355 and the Frackers miraculously escape a bases-loaded jam. 222 00:11:01,421 --> 00:11:03,324 My goodness! 223 00:11:04,724 --> 00:11:05,558 Proceed. 224 00:11:07,261 --> 00:11:09,063 Oh, my God. Just shoot me. 225 00:11:09,129 --> 00:11:10,196 Frickin' shoot me. 226 00:11:10,263 --> 00:11:11,731 Oh, my goodness. 227 00:11:11,799 --> 00:11:14,134 He dropped the ball. That's a balk! 228 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,604 A walk-off balk 229 00:11:15,628 --> 00:11:18,071 gives the Frackers their fifth win in a row. 230 00:11:18,138 --> 00:11:20,340 Now I have seen everything. 231 00:11:20,407 --> 00:11:21,474 Cheers. 232 00:11:25,378 --> 00:11:27,046 Oh, it's happening. 233 00:11:27,113 --> 00:11:29,016 - No, he's not! - It's happening. 234 00:11:29,083 --> 00:11:31,285 No! Oh, yes! 235 00:11:31,352 --> 00:11:34,355 All right! Go, Brockmire! 236 00:11:34,421 --> 00:11:36,356 Oh, my God! 237 00:11:36,424 --> 00:11:37,624 Ladies and gentlemen, 238 00:11:37,688 --> 00:11:42,663 Brockmire showing the crowd why naked men should never run. 239 00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:48,868 Your dick and balls look like they're having a fistfight! 240 00:11:49,903 --> 00:11:51,337 Home run... Frackers! 241 00:11:51,405 --> 00:11:53,540 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 242 00:11:53,607 --> 00:11:56,276 That's their sixth win in a row. 243 00:11:56,343 --> 00:12:01,348 ♪ And the rockets' red glare ♪ 244 00:12:01,415 --> 00:12:06,547 ♪ The bombs bursting in air ♪ 245 00:12:06,627 --> 00:12:08,746 ♪ Gave proof through the... ♪ 246 00:12:08,777 --> 00:12:10,023 Where have you been?! 247 00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:11,206 Charles got T-boned by 248 00:12:11,294 --> 00:12:12,988 an ambulance on the way here. 249 00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:16,363 I-I... It was full of blood for a blood drive. 250 00:12:16,430 --> 00:12:17,731 I kept slipping in it. 251 00:12:17,764 --> 00:12:19,381 - Wait, so that's not your blood? - No. 252 00:12:19,453 --> 00:12:21,033 - Get out. Get out. - I don't know whose blood this is. 253 00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:23,403 - I don't know whose blood this is! - Close the door. 254 00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:25,938 She's already singing. We don't have any time. 255 00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:28,108 Shit, shit, shit. 256 00:12:28,175 --> 00:12:30,077 ♪ ... wave ♪ 257 00:12:30,143 --> 00:12:31,512 Come on, Brockmire! 258 00:12:31,579 --> 00:12:32,914 All right. I'm hurrying. I'm hurrying I am. I am. 259 00:12:32,979 --> 00:12:36,950 ♪ ... land of the free ♪ 260 00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:39,486 ♪ Oh ♪ 261 00:12:39,552 --> 00:12:42,455 ♪ And the home ♪ 262 00:12:42,522 --> 00:12:47,728 ♪ Of the brave ♪ 263 00:12:47,795 --> 00:12:50,397 Lay it down. 264 00:12:59,940 --> 00:13:01,474 My goodness. You were right. 265 00:13:01,541 --> 00:13:03,743 These people... They are high on nostalgia. 266 00:13:03,810 --> 00:13:05,045 Jules! 267 00:13:05,112 --> 00:13:06,413 - Jules. - Hey! 268 00:13:06,479 --> 00:13:09,282 Who's that haircut with teeth? 269 00:13:09,349 --> 00:13:10,683 Um, that's Gary. 270 00:13:10,751 --> 00:13:12,486 - Gary. - He's the point person around here 271 00:13:12,552 --> 00:13:14,620 for Pennsylvania Shale Oil and Gas. 272 00:13:14,687 --> 00:13:16,322 We kind of had a thing for a bit. 273 00:13:16,389 --> 00:13:17,356 Did you now? 274 00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:19,860 Look at this crowd. 275 00:13:19,926 --> 00:13:22,796 I'm so proud of you. Your dream's coming true. 276 00:13:22,863 --> 00:13:24,198 Mm. 277 00:13:24,264 --> 00:13:25,731 Thank you. 278 00:13:25,799 --> 00:13:27,468 Um, Gary, I want you to meet... 279 00:13:27,535 --> 00:13:29,269 Jim Brockmire. 280 00:13:29,335 --> 00:13:30,870 Wow. I'll tell you what. 281 00:13:30,937 --> 00:13:33,882 I am a big fan of your work in Kansas City. 282 00:13:33,945 --> 00:13:35,875 - I don't like you. - What? 283 00:13:35,978 --> 00:13:38,177 Something about your essence is just rubbing me the wrong way, 284 00:13:38,343 --> 00:13:39,213 so I'd appreciate it if you'd just... 285 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:40,347 just keep your distance from me. 286 00:13:40,413 --> 00:13:42,482 Uh, Jim... 287 00:13:42,564 --> 00:13:45,535 Gary is a friend. 288 00:13:45,601 --> 00:13:47,780 He's the one who helped me get my loan 289 00:13:47,874 --> 00:13:48,707 so I could buy the team. 290 00:13:48,801 --> 00:13:49,563 - Really? - Yes. 291 00:13:49,581 --> 00:13:50,476 'Cause I read that loan, 292 00:13:50,524 --> 00:13:52,092 and no true friend would ever let you sign it. 293 00:13:52,713 --> 00:13:54,581 Come on. The guy is obviously up to something. 294 00:13:54,647 --> 00:13:57,151 The man works for a gas company, for crying out loud. 295 00:13:57,218 --> 00:14:00,187 Never trust a man who sucks Satan's dick for a living. 296 00:14:00,253 --> 00:14:01,555 All right. 297 00:14:01,622 --> 00:14:03,589 Nice to meet you. Stay the hell away from me. 298 00:14:03,656 --> 00:14:06,993 Don't be sorry. Everybody gets jealous. 299 00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:09,863 Jea... Uh, whoa. Excuse... 300 00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:12,132 Now, why would I be jealous, sweetheart? 301 00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:13,434 Well, it's only natural. 302 00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:15,302 When two people spend this much time together, 303 00:14:15,368 --> 00:14:16,637 feelings bubble up. 304 00:14:16,704 --> 00:14:18,771 Darlin', I don't have feelings for you. 305 00:14:18,839 --> 00:14:20,941 I don't have feelings for anybody. 306 00:14:23,611 --> 00:14:25,679 Just out of curiosity, though, 307 00:14:25,746 --> 00:14:29,049 um, how long did you and Gary date for, anyway? 308 00:14:29,116 --> 00:14:31,651 We went out two or three times. 309 00:14:31,718 --> 00:14:33,653 Did you, uh, have sex with him? 310 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:35,755 Seven and a half... 311 00:14:35,823 --> 00:14:39,126 Depends how you... I mean, eight times, probably. 312 00:14:39,208 --> 00:14:40,876 Wow. Seven and a half. 313 00:14:40,927 --> 00:14:41,643 Half a time? 314 00:14:41,679 --> 00:14:43,114 That should have been interesting. All right. 315 00:14:43,731 --> 00:14:45,432 Just... I'm sorry. I can't... I... Really? 316 00:14:45,498 --> 00:14:48,334 'Cause I can't believe you actually had sex with that guy. 317 00:14:48,401 --> 00:14:49,836 Why? He's very nice 318 00:14:49,904 --> 00:14:51,183 and knows a lot about wine 319 00:14:51,192 --> 00:14:52,221 - and isn't diabetic. - Oh. 320 00:14:52,284 --> 00:14:54,074 And around here, that makes him the catch of the frickin' century. 321 00:14:54,141 --> 00:14:55,843 And you know what? You have no right to judge me. 322 00:14:55,910 --> 00:14:58,679 You've admitted to having sex with prostitutes 323 00:14:58,746 --> 00:15:00,146 all over the world. 324 00:15:00,214 --> 00:15:02,382 Hey, I was helping those ladies find a new life 325 00:15:02,449 --> 00:15:03,483 20 bucks at a time. 326 00:15:03,550 --> 00:15:04,718 20 bucks? 327 00:15:04,785 --> 00:15:06,987 Oh, the dollar's very strong right now. 328 00:15:07,054 --> 00:15:08,756 You know what? You're an asshole. 329 00:15:08,823 --> 00:15:10,924 I can't even look at you. Tonight, blindfolds. 330 00:15:10,991 --> 00:15:12,391 No, we're not. You know why? 331 00:15:12,459 --> 00:15:13,926 'Cause I'm tired of treating my dick 332 00:15:13,993 --> 00:15:15,294 like some kind of a lucky 333 00:15:15,367 --> 00:15:16,136 - rabbit's foot. - Oh. 334 00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:17,263 No, the idea that our sex 335 00:15:17,330 --> 00:15:20,032 is actually helping the Frackers win ball games is... 336 00:15:20,099 --> 00:15:21,067 It's ludicrous. 337 00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:23,369 So, if you don't believe in the streak 338 00:15:23,436 --> 00:15:25,638 and you don't have any feelings for me, 339 00:15:25,705 --> 00:15:26,873 why have we been having sex 340 00:15:26,940 --> 00:15:28,541 every night for the last two weeks? 341 00:15:28,608 --> 00:15:30,444 Because I thought my only other option 342 00:15:30,518 --> 00:15:32,762 was talking to that asshole all night. 343 00:15:32,810 --> 00:15:33,516 But you know? 344 00:15:33,578 --> 00:15:34,587 - No, maybe I made a mistake. - Oh. 345 00:15:34,627 --> 00:15:36,049 Hey, friend? Excuse me. 346 00:15:36,116 --> 00:15:37,184 What's your story? 347 00:15:37,251 --> 00:15:38,786 Oh. Well... 348 00:15:38,853 --> 00:15:41,387 I was born two days prematurely. 349 00:15:41,454 --> 00:15:42,823 No, no. 350 00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:44,725 Clearly, I was right to have sex with you instead. 351 00:15:44,731 --> 00:15:46,459 So, all right. How about this... 352 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:47,928 Ehh... 353 00:15:47,994 --> 00:15:50,062 I don't really feel like it anymore. 354 00:15:50,130 --> 00:15:52,499 I mean, I didn't feel like it half the times we did it. 355 00:15:52,565 --> 00:15:55,134 Your personal grooming is... 356 00:15:56,603 --> 00:15:58,238 It's atrocious, and you smell like weird herbs. 357 00:15:58,305 --> 00:15:59,906 Oh, that's the Sambuca. 358 00:15:59,973 --> 00:16:03,743 Only reason I did it was because it was my civic frickin' duty. 359 00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:06,680 But I would rather lose every game from here on in 360 00:16:06,747 --> 00:16:09,416 than have sex with you again. 361 00:16:09,483 --> 00:16:12,185 Fi-Fine. Okay. 362 00:16:12,252 --> 00:16:15,855 I'll bet we win tomorrow's game by... 363 00:16:15,922 --> 00:16:18,790 And with the score 18-0, 364 00:16:18,858 --> 00:16:20,761 looks like the fairy tale is over 365 00:16:20,828 --> 00:16:22,863 and the Frackers have turned back into a pumpkin 366 00:16:22,930 --> 00:16:24,231 through no fault of anyone's 367 00:16:24,297 --> 00:16:27,266 other than the players on the field, of course. 368 00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:38,819 All right. Frackers are down to their final out. 369 00:16:38,886 --> 00:16:40,521 Here comes the pitch. 370 00:16:40,588 --> 00:16:42,290 Good slider there, 371 00:16:42,357 --> 00:16:45,693 and the count goes to 0-2 now to Uribe. 372 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,062 Hey, Brockmire! 373 00:16:47,129 --> 00:16:49,999 You want to party with Uribe tonight? 374 00:16:52,367 --> 00:16:54,435 Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm free. 375 00:16:54,502 --> 00:16:55,736 Strike! 376 00:16:55,804 --> 00:16:57,838 I guess I'm free now. 377 00:17:00,308 --> 00:17:03,010 So, is you dating anyone? 378 00:17:03,078 --> 00:17:05,579 No. Why do you ask that? 379 00:17:05,646 --> 00:17:08,416 Oh, I think maybe you and Miss Jules. 380 00:17:08,483 --> 00:17:10,217 No, no. Hey, no. 381 00:17:10,284 --> 00:17:13,254 Nothing going on between me and Miss "Hools." 382 00:17:13,321 --> 00:17:15,890 What about you? You... You got anybody special? 383 00:17:15,958 --> 00:17:18,360 Ha. Uribe never marry. 384 00:17:18,426 --> 00:17:21,796 No one ties me down, not even my 13 kids. 385 00:17:21,864 --> 00:17:23,832 13 kids? 386 00:17:23,898 --> 00:17:25,166 I'm Catholic. 387 00:17:25,233 --> 00:17:27,468 Condoms are sin, and I hate to pull out. 388 00:17:27,536 --> 00:17:29,805 I hear you. Very difficult to leave the party 389 00:17:29,872 --> 00:17:31,239 when it is just getting good. 390 00:17:31,306 --> 00:17:33,434 Child support is why I still play, 391 00:17:33,538 --> 00:17:35,376 even though I only 29. 392 00:17:35,443 --> 00:17:38,446 American kids are so expensive. 393 00:17:38,513 --> 00:17:40,381 The Dominican ones, not so much. 394 00:17:40,449 --> 00:17:41,883 The dollar is very strong right now. 395 00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:43,818 Oh, hey. You... You don't have to tell me. 396 00:17:45,753 --> 00:17:47,655 Ooh-ha! 397 00:17:47,722 --> 00:17:49,691 Ah. 398 00:17:49,758 --> 00:17:52,828 And as my guest... 399 00:17:52,895 --> 00:17:55,364 you can pick. 400 00:17:55,431 --> 00:17:56,598 Oh. Well, uh... 401 00:17:56,665 --> 00:17:58,833 Well, let's just... We'll let the girls pick. 402 00:17:58,901 --> 00:18:00,068 You're cute. 403 00:18:00,135 --> 00:18:02,636 You remind me of my favorite stepdad. 404 00:18:02,703 --> 00:18:05,507 I... Oh... Well, you know, I get that a lot. 405 00:18:05,513 --> 00:18:08,279 - Um, Uribe. - Hmm? 406 00:18:08,350 --> 00:18:09,811 Pedro? 407 00:18:09,877 --> 00:18:11,379 Um... 408 00:18:11,446 --> 00:18:14,382 How likely is this to become a group-sex situation? 409 00:18:14,450 --> 00:18:15,984 No, because, in the fog of war, 410 00:18:16,050 --> 00:18:17,586 sometimes things get a little chaotic, 411 00:18:17,653 --> 00:18:19,788 so I think we should set some ground rules. 412 00:18:19,855 --> 00:18:21,056 Oye. 413 00:18:21,123 --> 00:18:23,091 I am no cigua, okay? 414 00:18:23,157 --> 00:18:26,060 If my dick is inside of a woman, 415 00:18:26,127 --> 00:18:28,963 whatever you do to me is not gay, 416 00:18:29,030 --> 00:18:30,365 so do a lot of it. 417 00:18:32,835 --> 00:18:34,302 A lot! 418 00:18:34,368 --> 00:18:35,538 A lot. 419 00:18:37,439 --> 00:18:38,340 Hey. 420 00:18:38,406 --> 00:18:40,509 Let's make things interesting. 421 00:18:40,576 --> 00:18:41,710 Oh. 422 00:18:43,511 --> 00:18:44,980 Mmm. 423 00:18:45,047 --> 00:18:47,048 They're already pretty fascinating. 424 00:18:49,851 --> 00:18:51,585 - Who is it? - Brockmire. 425 00:18:54,423 --> 00:18:56,324 I thought you were with Uribe. 426 00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:59,846 I was, I was, but I think I realized 427 00:18:59,885 --> 00:19:01,228 that I don't want to be that guy anymore. 428 00:19:01,296 --> 00:19:03,198 Maybe I never was that guy, but I just... 429 00:19:03,264 --> 00:19:04,899 I wanted to be because then that would mean 430 00:19:04,966 --> 00:19:07,468 I couldn't be hurt again or something. 431 00:19:07,536 --> 00:19:08,904 I just... 432 00:19:08,971 --> 00:19:10,439 I know that I like you. 433 00:19:10,505 --> 00:19:13,407 I like that you see the world for the shit pile that it is, 434 00:19:13,474 --> 00:19:15,443 but that just makes you shovel faster. 435 00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:18,078 Most of all, I like that we seem to have 436 00:19:18,145 --> 00:19:20,949 the same exact level of functional alcoholism. 437 00:19:21,016 --> 00:19:22,918 I don't want to be getting gross and high 438 00:19:22,984 --> 00:19:24,218 with a bunch of strangers. 439 00:19:24,286 --> 00:19:27,222 I want to... I want to be here with you. 440 00:19:27,289 --> 00:19:28,857 Are you high right now? 441 00:19:28,924 --> 00:19:30,826 A little bit, yes. I-I'm not prude. 442 00:19:30,893 --> 00:19:32,494 I had a couple toots. Come on. 443 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,868 You know, the thing is, is you and me... 444 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:36,832 It's just not a good idea. 445 00:19:36,898 --> 00:19:39,266 This is a terrible idea, but... 446 00:19:40,668 --> 00:19:43,938 I looked into your eyes for a long time the other night. 447 00:19:44,005 --> 00:19:46,474 I know that you're feeling the same things I am. 448 00:19:46,541 --> 00:19:47,542 I know it. 449 00:19:48,141 --> 00:19:50,044 Baseball makes me want to exist. 450 00:19:50,112 --> 00:19:54,339 You... You make me want to live. 451 00:19:55,183 --> 00:19:59,020 God... damn it. 452 00:20:22,961 --> 00:20:23,903 As many of you know, 453 00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:26,150 it was our plan to encourage a bankruptcy 454 00:20:26,217 --> 00:20:27,819 of the Morristown baseball team 455 00:20:27,886 --> 00:20:29,620 so that we could demolish the stadium 456 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,889 and build a long-needed wastewater pit. 457 00:20:31,956 --> 00:20:34,191 Well, unfortunately, attendance is much higher 458 00:20:34,259 --> 00:20:35,647 than, uh, our models predicted, 459 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,694 so, uh, it is my position 460 00:20:37,774 --> 00:20:41,114 that we take a much more... aggressive stance. 461 00:20:41,154 --> 00:20:43,534 Um, all in favor? 462 00:20:43,601 --> 00:20:45,137 Okay, good. 463 00:20:45,195 --> 00:20:49,398 Last but certainly not least. 464 00:20:52,878 --> 00:20:55,147 Sweet, sweet Deb. 465 00:20:55,214 --> 00:20:57,081 My favorite memories of you will always be 466 00:20:57,140 --> 00:20:59,495 from the 2013 retreat in Mazatlán. 467 00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:00,952 You were a diamond 468 00:21:01,019 --> 00:21:02,954 that glittered for us all that weekend, 469 00:21:03,021 --> 00:21:04,522 and call me sentimental, 470 00:21:04,589 --> 00:21:07,037 but I'd like to see you glitter one more time. 471 00:21:07,108 --> 00:21:10,762 So, Deb, do you remember... 472 00:21:10,829 --> 00:21:12,397 the Margarita Men? 473 00:21:15,434 --> 00:21:18,003 Look at her face! We love you, Deborah Gortley! 474 00:21:18,070 --> 00:21:19,538 Whoo! 475 00:21:19,605 --> 00:21:21,272 Mazatlán! Mazatlán! 476 00:21:21,339 --> 00:21:22,441 Mazatlán! Mazatlán! 477 00:21:22,508 --> 00:21:24,009 This is Pennsylvania Shale right here! 478 00:21:24,076 --> 00:21:25,777 This is why we do what we do! 479 00:21:27,212 --> 00:21:28,480 Look at her! Look at here! 480 00:21:30,929 --> 00:21:34,996 Synced and corrected by Dragoniod for - www.addic7ed.com - 34055

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