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1
00:00:01,367 --> 00:00:03,100
Gott im Himmel!
2
00:00:03,465 --> 00:00:06,478
I knew it. Those damn cannibals
have taken Schmidt!
3
00:00:06,546 --> 00:00:08,970
See?
Look there, a blood trail!
4
00:00:09,038 --> 00:00:10,268
- Das ist blud.
- Armer Schmidt.
5
00:00:10,335 --> 00:00:12,243
So let's follow it
und kill those savages!
6
00:00:12,311 --> 00:00:14,854
Are you quite insane?
7
00:00:14,922 --> 00:00:16,588
There could be
scores of them,
8
00:00:16,656 --> 00:00:17,757
hundreds, even!
9
00:00:17,825 --> 00:00:19,525
Ja, with sticks
und stones.
10
00:00:19,593 --> 00:00:21,893
Ja, and maybe
poison arrows!
11
00:00:21,961 --> 00:00:23,299
- Schweinhunden!
- Mein Gott!
12
00:00:23,421 --> 00:00:25,563
We need reinforcements.
Schneider!
13
00:00:25,847 --> 00:00:28,489
Luckily, there is a
Kriegsmarine transport nearb,
14
00:00:28,557 --> 00:00:29,658
heading for Nauru.
15
00:00:29,835 --> 00:00:31,674
Hallo? Hallo!
16
00:00:31,772 --> 00:00:33,723
Agent Fucs
der Abwehr hie.
17
00:00:33,881 --> 00:00:36,377
Ich muss mit deinm
Kapitaen spreche.
18
00:00:36,445 --> 00:00:38,511
With a bit of luck,
soon we will have
19
00:00:38,579 --> 00:00:41,486
a platoon of marine
Sturmtruppen.
20
00:00:42,564 --> 00:00:43,666
Sturmtruppe?
21
00:00:43,734 --> 00:00:44,775
Damn it!
22
00:00:44,843 --> 00:00:46,814
Wait,
what are Sturmtruppen?
23
00:00:46,882 --> 00:00:48,314
It means
stormtroopers.
24
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,698
- Aw, crap.
- Yeah, that doesn't sound good.
25
00:00:50,766 --> 00:00:52,431
- Well, it is a cognate.
- What?
26
00:00:52,499 --> 00:00:55,433
Cognate. Those are words with
a common etymological origin.
27
00:00:55,516 --> 00:00:56,869
Not the word, Poindexter,
28
00:00:56,937 --> 00:00:58,354
the fact that there's a thing
called that.
29
00:00:58,421 --> 00:01:00,189
Yeah, and how many guys
in a platoon?
30
00:01:00,257 --> 00:01:02,403
- Like, 40!
- Wait, were you in the army?
31
00:01:02,471 --> 00:01:04,241
- Army Air Corps.
- Hmm.
32
00:01:04,309 --> 00:01:05,865
Well, that doesn't
do us much good.
33
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,608
Hey, neither does
your missing arm.
34
00:01:07,676 --> 00:01:09,272
- Hey!
- But if my almost
35
00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:10,960
totally nonexistent
understanding
36
00:01:11,028 --> 00:01:12,186
of military history
is correct...
37
00:01:12,253 --> 00:01:13,803
- Why would...
- Noah, shut up.
38
00:01:13,871 --> 00:01:16,526
Then I'm pretty sure we can
expect several waves of attacks,
39
00:01:16,594 --> 00:01:18,708
wherein the attackers
will steadily increase
40
00:01:18,776 --> 00:01:20,412
in both number and in skill
41
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,225
until we face a final,
climactic attack
42
00:01:23,293 --> 00:01:27,461
by a sort of ueber-attacker,
a boss, if you will.
43
00:01:28,143 --> 00:01:29,796
- Translate that.
- Uh,
44
00:01:29,998 --> 00:01:33,022
boroka handiak,boroka "boss"
45
00:01:33,090 --> 00:01:33,998
Mm.
46
00:01:34,066 --> 00:01:35,820
Wait,
was that it, or...
47
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:38,191
- Broad strokes.
- Huh. Well, now tell him
48
00:01:38,259 --> 00:01:39,668
we need to build
a network of defenses
49
00:01:39,735 --> 00:01:40,863
out of whatever's on hand
50
00:01:40,931 --> 00:01:43,381
while also training everybody...
The men, the women,
51
00:01:43,449 --> 00:01:46,879
these nubile teenage girls
I really hope are at least 18,
52
00:01:46,947 --> 00:01:48,866
maybe some
of the chubbier kids,
53
00:01:48,934 --> 00:01:51,972
I mean everybody, all of them...
To fight.
54
00:01:52,052 --> 00:01:53,465
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Zuri gotiak boroka.
55
00:01:53,533 --> 00:01:55,894
Boroka dugu.
Zenbat ordo?
56
00:01:55,962 --> 00:01:57,832
Um, uh,
so they're eager to fight,
57
00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,418
and how much time
do we have?
58
00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:01,519
- Just a couple hours!
- Seriously?
59
00:02:01,587 --> 00:02:03,388
Yeah, so obviously,
we're gonna have
60
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,757
to montage the shit
out of this thing.
61
00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:11,268
Will you tell him
what a montage is?
62
00:02:11,336 --> 00:02:13,724
Yeah, I don't think
"montage" would translate.
63
00:02:13,792 --> 00:02:16,925
They... they don't really have
a strong filmic tradition.
64
00:02:17,024 --> 00:02:18,636
And whose fault
is that, Noah?
65
00:02:18,704 --> 00:02:21,985
- Well, I mean...
- Jesus, you are the fucking worst.
66
00:02:54,012 --> 00:02:55,988
*ARCHER (2009)
Season 02 Episode 09
67
00:02:56,056 --> 00:02:59,840
Episode Title: "Danger Island: Comparative Wickedness of Civilized and Unenlightened Peoples"
68
00:03:00,618 --> 00:03:03,251
Yeah. So, lf we've firmed up that training
and preparation
69
00:03:03,319 --> 00:03:05,290
and then sort of cut it down
to just the good parts
70
00:03:05,357 --> 00:03:07,417
and set that
to some bouncy music,
71
00:03:07,485 --> 00:03:09,509
that would've been a montage.
72
00:03:10,227 --> 00:03:12,162
I honestly wouldn't
even know where to start.
73
00:03:12,230 --> 00:03:14,441
Try Eisenstein,
you asshole!
74
00:03:14,509 --> 00:03:15,814
All right,
let's see what we got!
75
00:03:15,882 --> 00:03:17,634
Kusta dugu!
76
00:03:21,461 --> 00:03:23,179
Um, okay!
77
00:03:23,247 --> 00:03:24,179
Good job, I guess!
78
00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:25,477
Ona gudari!
79
00:03:27,215 --> 00:03:29,407
Good-looking tiger trap, ladies!
80
00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:30,482
Ona trampak!
81
00:03:30,550 --> 00:03:32,722
Don't forget to smear
those stakes with feces!
82
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:34,560
Poo-poo! Poo-poo!
83
00:03:34,628 --> 00:03:35,704
Oh, come on.
84
00:03:35,787 --> 00:03:37,545
- What?
- Hat's what they call it.
85
00:03:38,984 --> 00:03:41,426
Oh, man. Thanks, tribal elders!
86
00:03:41,494 --> 00:03:42,732
Ona zahara!
87
00:03:42,842 --> 00:03:45,920
Uh-oh, what are
Nazi Laurel and Hardy up to?
88
00:03:46,071 --> 00:03:48,303
Wow, literally
another fine mess.
89
00:03:48,383 --> 00:03:50,756
Hmm, that's not
gonna translate.
90
00:03:50,824 --> 00:03:52,307
I mean, A, it's sarcasm,
91
00:03:52,389 --> 00:03:54,275
B, they're not gonna
get the reference, and...
92
00:03:54,343 --> 00:03:56,150
And C, shut up and...
93
00:03:56,218 --> 00:03:59,729
Oh, my God, what's that big,
crazy man-killing bastard?
94
00:03:59,877 --> 00:04:01,707
Let's call it
the widowmaker!
95
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,575
Well, that's also
not gonna translate.
96
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,254
Noah, God damn it,
if you don't...
97
00:04:05,369 --> 00:04:07,752
Wait, where's
my Chub Club?
98
00:04:08,470 --> 00:04:10,852
Yeah, there they are!
99
00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:13,289
Um...
100
00:04:13,359 --> 00:04:14,358
that's okay.
101
00:04:14,426 --> 00:04:15,892
Uh, shake it off
102
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,832
and get some more
poison darts from Pam.
103
00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,064
Pozo Pamu!
104
00:04:19,132 --> 00:04:20,331
Aw, come on.
105
00:04:20,399 --> 00:04:22,791
This bullshit
is boring as balls.
106
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,267
Huh.
107
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:31,439
I wish to amend
my previous statement.
108
00:04:31,526 --> 00:04:33,252
Okay.
All right, all right.
109
00:04:33,329 --> 00:04:35,395
So, um, criticisms.
110
00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:37,503
I think we maybe could've
spent a little more time
111
00:04:37,571 --> 00:04:38,993
practicing actual combat
112
00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:41,542
and a little less
making the Nazi logs,
113
00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:44,516
but overall,
great job, everybody!
114
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:46,829
Ona lanara!
115
00:04:47,728 --> 00:04:49,141
Okay, Noah,
tell the chief
116
00:04:49,209 --> 00:04:50,767
the most important thing
to remember is...
117
00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:52,877
- Sterling?
- Wh...
118
00:04:53,705 --> 00:04:54,787
Mother?
119
00:04:54,855 --> 00:04:56,662
What in the hell
are you wearing?
120
00:04:56,769 --> 00:04:58,004
I-I mean...
121
00:04:58,072 --> 00:04:59,437
Master Coconut!
122
00:04:59,505 --> 00:05:01,687
Pam, shut up.
What are you doing here?
123
00:05:01,762 --> 00:05:03,270
Well, we came to rescue...
124
00:05:03,343 --> 00:05:04,909
The sacred idol!
125
00:05:04,977 --> 00:05:05,584
- What?
- Nuh-uh!
126
00:05:05,652 --> 00:05:07,232
God damn it!
127
00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:09,402
We're searching
for the sacred idol!
128
00:05:09,498 --> 00:05:11,231
What is wrong
with you?
129
00:05:11,299 --> 00:05:12,414
What's wrong
with you?
130
00:05:12,482 --> 00:05:13,812
And who the hell
told you about...
131
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,099
Oh, you goddamn
blabbermouth bird.
132
00:05:16,167 --> 00:05:17,433
They already knew
about it!
133
00:05:17,505 --> 00:05:19,648
And they were gonna
leave you in the quicksand
134
00:05:19,716 --> 00:05:20,687
while they looked for it.
135
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:21,348
- What?
- Nuh-uh!
136
00:05:21,416 --> 00:05:22,263
Damn it, bird!
137
00:05:22,370 --> 00:05:23,896
Are you...
Mother, is that true?
138
00:05:23,964 --> 00:05:25,247
You were just gonna
let us die?
139
00:05:25,318 --> 00:05:26,812
Oh, please,
what do you think
140
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:27,947
we're doing here?
141
00:05:28,015 --> 00:05:29,218
We came to rescue you
142
00:05:29,286 --> 00:05:31,551
from these
bloodthirsty cannibals.
143
00:05:31,619 --> 00:05:32,703
Which...
144
00:05:32,771 --> 00:05:35,240
- Oh. Yeah, no, they're cool.
- Well...
145
00:05:35,308 --> 00:05:36,992
Mother, this is
the cannibal chief.
146
00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:39,526
Chief, my lying
and scheming mother.
147
00:05:39,594 --> 00:05:41,427
Charmed, I'm sure.
148
00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:42,773
So they're not cannibals?
149
00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:44,364
Oh, no,
they're totally cannibals,
150
00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:45,927
but we've temporarily
teamed up
151
00:05:45,995 --> 00:05:47,484
to fight some
Nazi stormtroopers.
152
00:05:47,552 --> 00:05:49,003
- Wait, what?
- Mon Dieu!
153
00:05:49,071 --> 00:05:50,354
Stormtroopers?
154
00:05:50,422 --> 00:05:52,268
- It's a cognate.
- Noah!
155
00:05:52,359 --> 00:05:53,425
Mua Mua:
Kalua. Kalua. Kalua.
156
00:05:53,492 --> 00:05:55,183
And what is happening
right now?
157
00:05:55,251 --> 00:05:56,289
Kalua.
158
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:57,448
What is kalua?
159
00:05:57,516 --> 00:05:59,778
It means... goddess.
160
00:06:00,479 --> 00:06:01,559
Wow!
161
00:06:01,627 --> 00:06:04,541
Okay, that's embarrassing.
162
00:06:04,610 --> 00:06:06,536
Tell them I'm not
an actual goddess
163
00:06:06,604 --> 00:06:08,517
but merely a direct
descendant of, um,
164
00:06:08,611 --> 00:06:10,524
who's-its, their god, um,
what's-his-face.
165
00:06:10,658 --> 00:06:12,679
No, no, no, no, no,
they... they don't mean you.
166
00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:14,086
They mean her.
167
00:06:14,245 --> 00:06:15,276
- Oh, boy.
- Zut alors.
168
00:06:15,344 --> 00:06:16,752
Oh, for the love.
169
00:06:16,823 --> 00:06:19,937
- Wow, that is embarrassing.
- Oh, shut up.
170
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,366
I'll tell you
what's embarrassing
171
00:06:21,434 --> 00:06:23,756
is getting slaughtered by a
bunch of Nazi stormtroopers,
172
00:06:23,824 --> 00:06:25,861
so... can we all
please focus, Noah?
173
00:06:25,929 --> 00:06:27,033
Tell them to focus!
174
00:06:27,101 --> 00:06:28,134
Uh...
175
00:06:28,202 --> 00:06:29,851
uzuka, bita kuju.
176
00:06:29,929 --> 00:06:32,296
Bita kuju!
177
00:06:33,772 --> 00:06:34,812
Aww!
178
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:35,960
Well, on the bright side,
179
00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:37,838
if you don't get murdered,
maybe you can move here
180
00:06:37,905 --> 00:06:39,713
and be worshipped
as a goddess.
181
00:06:39,781 --> 00:06:44,242
What mere mortal
dare speak to Kalua?
182
00:06:45,225 --> 00:06:46,257
Mm, okay.
183
00:06:46,325 --> 00:06:47,380
Okay!
184
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:48,581
Listen up!
185
00:06:48,649 --> 00:06:50,364
These savage cannibals
have murdered
186
00:06:50,432 --> 00:06:51,583
and by now,
let's be honest,
187
00:06:51,650 --> 00:06:53,994
probably eaten
one of your Kameraden.
188
00:06:54,185 --> 00:06:56,669
So we are going to destroy
their village
189
00:06:56,737 --> 00:06:58,166
and everyone in it,
190
00:06:58,234 --> 00:06:59,643
men, women, and...
191
00:06:59,775 --> 00:07:02,142
You there!
What are you eating?
192
00:07:08,617 --> 00:07:11,072
Well, did you bring
enough for everyone?
193
00:07:12,621 --> 00:07:14,789
Well, then what are
you waiting for?
194
00:07:14,857 --> 00:07:16,040
Pass them out!
195
00:07:16,780 --> 00:07:19,463
- Now, any questions?
- Umm...
196
00:07:20,611 --> 00:07:23,306
It's just something
we're doing.
197
00:07:23,665 --> 00:07:24,931
I forget why.
198
00:07:25,038 --> 00:07:26,203
And also, shut up.
199
00:07:32,872 --> 00:07:34,145
Psst. Noah.
200
00:07:34,239 --> 00:07:35,655
You told them
to hold their fire
201
00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:37,164
until the Krauts
are in close, right?
202
00:07:37,238 --> 00:07:38,756
- Mm-hmm.
- And to fall back
203
00:07:38,824 --> 00:07:39,976
when they start
to get overrun?
204
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,161
- Mm-hmm.
- And to...
205
00:07:41,229 --> 00:07:42,514
Wait, what is wrong
with you?
206
00:07:42,582 --> 00:07:44,098
What, are you kidding?
I'm scared!
207
00:07:44,166 --> 00:07:46,592
Oh. Well, yeah,
I mean, that's normal.
208
00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:48,483
Uh, no, I think
I'm scared-er than that!
209
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,991
Trust me, however scared
you think you are, it's...
210
00:07:51,059 --> 00:07:52,613
I pissed in my pants, man.
211
00:07:52,684 --> 00:07:54,530
Still well within normal.
212
00:07:54,598 --> 00:07:56,480
Nobody else pissed
in their pants.
213
00:07:56,582 --> 00:07:59,095
Well, but remember,
they're not wearing pants.
214
00:07:59,165 --> 00:08:01,295
- That's not...
- Plus, there's no way
215
00:08:01,363 --> 00:08:04,084
they can possibly imagine
the unspeakable things
216
00:08:04,152 --> 00:08:06,902
that modern firearms can do
to the human body.
217
00:08:07,012 --> 00:08:09,131
So... try not
to get shot.
218
00:08:09,199 --> 00:08:11,057
That's it?
That's your advice?
219
00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:12,615
That's really good advice!
220
00:08:12,683 --> 00:08:14,029
Isn't this exciting?
221
00:08:14,096 --> 00:08:15,647
What, being held
against our will
222
00:08:15,715 --> 00:08:17,097
while we get attacked
by Nazis?
223
00:08:17,165 --> 00:08:19,225
Or discovering
the one culture on Earth
224
00:08:19,293 --> 00:08:21,928
that lacks a basic knowledge
of fermentation?
225
00:08:21,996 --> 00:08:24,308
I don't know.
I guess all of it.
226
00:08:26,141 --> 00:08:29,060
Hmm, now,
what have we here?
227
00:08:29,252 --> 00:08:30,709
I could've found
that stupid idol
228
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:32,769
and been halfway
to New York by now!
229
00:08:32,837 --> 00:08:33,872
Oh, no!
230
00:08:33,949 --> 00:08:35,803
That idol's
all mine, missy.
231
00:08:35,871 --> 00:08:38,394
Yeah, well,
we'll see about that.
232
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,590
Outta the way,
Blimpkins!
233
00:08:40,879 --> 00:08:41,973
Are you...
234
00:08:42,126 --> 00:08:43,628
You are serious.
235
00:08:43,769 --> 00:08:45,519
Hey, can you please
tell him to move?
236
00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:50,184
Who calls upon
the almighty Kalua?
237
00:08:50,340 --> 00:08:53,434
Yeah, that's not
already old.
238
00:08:53,664 --> 00:08:55,449
Your Almightiness,
did I hear you say
239
00:08:55,518 --> 00:08:57,940
you were hungry
for oysters?
240
00:08:58,223 --> 00:08:59,428
Yes!
241
00:08:59,496 --> 00:09:02,543
Mortal, fetch me
some bivalves.
242
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,162
Budge up, big un.
243
00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:05,840
- What?
- Back in a jiff!
244
00:09:06,132 --> 00:09:07,902
Toodles!
245
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:09,863
Pam:
Any sign of 'em?
246
00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:11,842
No, because I don't have
binocular vision!
247
00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:13,412
I'm totally wasted here!
248
00:09:13,488 --> 00:09:16,147
Me too!
Well, not totally, but...
249
00:09:16,215 --> 00:09:17,676
No, and stop that!
250
00:09:17,744 --> 00:09:19,983
I should be in the air,
like a reconnaissance plane.
251
00:09:20,051 --> 00:09:21,553
Yeah, right,
like you'd come back.
252
00:09:21,621 --> 00:09:23,897
Wh...
I came back! I'm here!
253
00:09:23,965 --> 00:09:25,902
Yeah, nice
decision tree, bird.
254
00:09:25,970 --> 00:09:27,210
And where the hell'd
you get that?
255
00:09:27,277 --> 00:09:28,879
- Made it.
- What? When?
256
00:09:28,919 --> 00:09:30,707
I don't know.
A minute ago.
257
00:09:30,919 --> 00:09:33,307
Whatever's in these
crazy bastards is, like...
258
00:09:33,769 --> 00:09:35,391
really helping me focus.
259
00:09:35,499 --> 00:09:37,018
It's poison.
260
00:09:37,086 --> 00:09:38,547
So's booze.
261
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:40,292
What's up your dickhole?
262
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,360
I just... all these people
put their trust in me,
263
00:09:42,430 --> 00:09:44,016
and what if I fail them?
264
00:09:44,146 --> 00:09:46,175
What if...
What if I get them all killed?
265
00:09:46,243 --> 00:09:49,641
I mean, they were
gonna eat us, so...
266
00:09:49,750 --> 00:09:50,820
That's a fair point.
267
00:09:50,929 --> 00:09:52,768
Hey, you know,
people eat birds all the time.
268
00:09:52,836 --> 00:09:53,721
Why is that okay?
269
00:09:53,789 --> 00:09:55,130
'Cause birds
are delicious.
270
00:09:55,197 --> 00:09:56,612
Well, you're probably
not, but...
271
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,198
I bet I'm totally delicious.
272
00:09:58,267 --> 00:10:01,227
Oh, please,
you were born in the 18...
273
00:10:01,438 --> 00:10:03,271
What the hell was that?
274
00:10:03,339 --> 00:10:04,238
Mortar!
275
00:10:04,306 --> 00:10:06,406
Fuchs:
Fire!
276
00:10:12,770 --> 00:10:14,508
My God, listen to that!
277
00:10:14,578 --> 00:10:17,274
You can hear their women
scream from here!
278
00:10:18,586 --> 00:10:21,086
So I hope someone
brought potatoes.
279
00:10:21,172 --> 00:10:22,485
Whoo-hoo!
280
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:24,556
Fire!
281
00:10:28,577 --> 00:10:29,680
Merde!
282
00:10:29,789 --> 00:10:32,332
Doudou, devrions-nous courir?
283
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:35,546
Jésus, tu es le pire putain.
284
00:10:36,305 --> 00:10:38,088
Nazi punks!
Fuck off!
285
00:10:38,156 --> 00:10:39,635
We gotta take out
that mortar!
286
00:10:39,703 --> 00:10:41,002
Yeah, but how?
287
00:10:41,070 --> 00:10:43,427
I'm gonna charge it.
288
00:10:46,092 --> 00:10:47,374
What?
289
00:10:48,659 --> 00:10:49,874
What did you say?
290
00:10:52,828 --> 00:10:53,945
No!
291
00:10:54,171 --> 00:10:56,007
Fire!
292
00:10:56,075 --> 00:10:58,486
Okay, Noah, you're gonna
go back to the States,
293
00:10:58,554 --> 00:11:00,002
and you're gonna tell Dad
he was right,
294
00:11:00,069 --> 00:11:01,843
and you're gonna take
that job at...
295
00:11:02,257 --> 00:11:04,093
At Uncle Mort's modeling agency,
296
00:11:04,161 --> 00:11:05,166
and guess what.
297
00:11:05,234 --> 00:11:06,900
You're just going
to have to start
298
00:11:06,968 --> 00:11:09,843
slathering tanning oil
on Swedish bikini models.
299
00:11:10,609 --> 00:11:11,973
That's it, I'm going for it!
300
00:11:12,041 --> 00:11:12,809
- Mm-kay.
- Good luck.
301
00:11:12,877 --> 00:11:13,538
That's it?
302
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,249
- I mean... - I mean...
- Sterling!
303
00:11:15,317 --> 00:11:16,612
What are you doing
running around?
304
00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:18,648
The air's, like, 50% metal!
305
00:11:18,734 --> 00:11:21,536
Well, exactly,
and speaking of percentages,
306
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,171
you seem to have this
whole thing pretty well in hand,
307
00:11:24,239 --> 00:11:25,809
so I thought
I'd just tootle off
308
00:11:25,877 --> 00:11:28,457
and see if I can't find
that pesky idol.
309
00:11:28,525 --> 00:11:29,817
- Are you...
- For us!
310
00:11:29,885 --> 00:11:31,325
Me and you, 50/50!
311
00:11:31,460 --> 00:11:33,020
- I...
- He has partners, you know.
312
00:11:33,088 --> 00:11:33,955
Oh, my God.
313
00:11:34,023 --> 00:11:35,222
Well, if he wants
to give you
314
00:11:35,290 --> 00:11:37,684
half of his half,
that's his business, but...
315
00:11:37,752 --> 00:11:39,692
What half?
What happened to thirdsies?
316
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,981
Yeah, what did happen
to thirdsies?
317
00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:43,871
Wait, since when
was it thirdsies?
318
00:11:43,939 --> 00:11:46,020
Oh, my God!
First of all, we...
319
00:11:46,088 --> 00:11:47,582
Wait, what are you drinking?
320
00:11:47,650 --> 00:11:49,832
Apparently,
it's some kind of beer
321
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:53,020
made from some jungle fruit
these people chew into a paste
322
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:56,369
and then spit into
these gourds to ferment.
323
00:11:57,537 --> 00:12:00,517
It's a bit like
a phlegm sangria.
324
00:12:01,340 --> 00:12:03,103
Hmm. Is it good?
325
00:12:03,751 --> 00:12:04,853
You know...
326
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,176
Son of a...
327
00:12:06,244 --> 00:12:08,158
That was my only gourd!
328
00:12:08,297 --> 00:12:09,396
Give me that!
Wh-
329
00:12:09,483 --> 00:12:10,752
What are you...
330
00:12:16,545 --> 00:12:19,568
Nazi sons of bitches.
331
00:12:22,302 --> 00:12:24,351
She took out
the whole mortar team!
332
00:12:24,419 --> 00:12:26,091
Wh...
I was gonna do that!
333
00:12:26,159 --> 00:12:27,340
Okay.
334
00:12:27,408 --> 00:12:28,260
Yeah, right.
335
00:12:28,328 --> 00:12:30,462
- Here, I think it's broken.
- I...
336
00:12:30,530 --> 00:12:33,169
And look,
the natives are rallying!
337
00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:49,007
Ja! Ja!
338
00:12:49,075 --> 00:12:50,759
Schiesse diese Scheisse!
339
00:12:50,827 --> 00:12:52,447
Schneider,
radio the ship!
340
00:12:52,515 --> 00:12:54,263
Tell them we need...
341
00:12:54,722 --> 00:12:56,721
Well, a new Schneider, for one.
342
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:04,521
Batu baruka!
Batu baruka!
343
00:13:09,796 --> 00:13:11,696
Because I don't want
to die in a hut,
344
00:13:11,765 --> 00:13:13,632
defiled by
Nazi stormtroopers!
345
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:15,735
Well, I can't die.
I'm immortal.
346
00:13:15,806 --> 00:13:17,686
But even though time
is meaningless to me,
347
00:13:17,779 --> 00:13:19,806
what is taking so long
with these oysters?
348
00:13:19,873 --> 00:13:21,675
Well, don't ask him,
349
00:13:21,742 --> 00:13:23,396
'cause he sure as hell
doesn't have any.
350
00:13:23,464 --> 00:13:25,531
- Meaning?
- He's a eunuch?
351
00:13:25,863 --> 00:13:27,639
Oh, come on!
He has no testicles!
352
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,561
Ew. And also, so?
353
00:13:29,629 --> 00:13:31,165
So what do you think
354
00:13:31,233 --> 00:13:32,801
these people use
for oysters?
355
00:13:32,869 --> 00:13:35,163
Uh, presumably oysters?
356
00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:36,506
Balls.
357
00:13:36,574 --> 00:13:38,540
Wait, what?
Why would they eat...
358
00:13:38,608 --> 00:13:39,659
Because they're cannibals.
359
00:13:39,727 --> 00:13:41,959
Cannibals don't
only eat people!
360
00:13:42,062 --> 00:13:44,225
I'm sure they have...
side salads!
361
00:13:44,294 --> 00:13:45,715
You think he eats
a lot of salad?
362
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:48,717
I think if I tell him to,
he'll eat you.
363
00:13:49,776 --> 00:13:50,935
I take your point.
364
00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:52,659
Muh-muh-muh-muh.
365
00:13:57,515 --> 00:13:59,849
Fall back!
Fall back! Fall back!
366
00:14:00,063 --> 00:14:01,229
Where the...
367
00:14:01,334 --> 00:14:02,901
Noah! Noah?
368
00:14:03,077 --> 00:14:04,206
Y-yeah?
369
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,774
What are you doing, Noah?
370
00:14:05,842 --> 00:14:07,925
Oh, I-I'm hiding
under this corpse.
371
00:14:07,993 --> 00:14:09,555
- But otherwise...
- I mean...
372
00:14:09,623 --> 00:14:10,889
Well, then can you
please tell them
373
00:14:10,956 --> 00:14:12,195
to fall back
so we can lure
374
00:14:12,263 --> 00:14:13,992
these Nazi pukes
into our killing zones?
375
00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:15,793
Oh, yes, yes,
of course.
376
00:14:15,829 --> 00:14:16,938
Oh, now! Sorry.
377
00:14:17,032 --> 00:14:19,266
Uh, atzera! Atzera!
378
00:14:19,469 --> 00:14:23,084
Atzera!
Batu baruka atzera!
379
00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:24,870
And how do you say,
"Get ready"?
380
00:14:24,938 --> 00:14:26,938
Um...
381
00:14:27,073 --> 00:14:28,091
- Noah?
- Oh, no, sorry.
382
00:14:28,193 --> 00:14:29,419
Kokatu. Kokatu.
383
00:14:29,487 --> 00:14:30,818
- Thanks, idiot.
- Yep!
384
00:14:30,886 --> 00:14:33,920
Kokatu! Kokatu!
385
00:14:35,414 --> 00:14:37,581
Kokatu! Kokatu!
386
00:14:37,649 --> 00:14:38,900
They are retreating!
387
00:14:38,968 --> 00:14:40,560
Attack! Attack!
388
00:14:40,628 --> 00:14:42,326
Vorwaerts!
389
00:14:44,608 --> 00:14:48,760
Kokatu! Kokatu! Kokatu!
390
00:14:49,251 --> 00:14:52,197
What is that?
What is he screaming?
391
00:14:52,493 --> 00:14:53,999
"Here come the Krauts."
392
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,142
Ugh, finally.
393
00:14:56,768 --> 00:14:58,701
They might have schnapps.
394
00:15:10,087 --> 00:15:11,673
Yeah!
395
00:15:11,741 --> 00:15:13,774
Aw, man, did you see that?
396
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:16,479
Yeah, that was the pits!
Am I right?
397
00:15:16,547 --> 00:15:17,590
- Eh.
- Eh.
398
00:15:17,658 --> 00:15:20,126
- Oh, whatever.
- Shut up, bird.
399
00:15:22,528 --> 00:15:23,996
Nein! Nein!
400
00:15:24,064 --> 00:15:26,898
Was ist los? Was ist los?
401
00:15:33,451 --> 00:15:35,915
It's working!
402
00:15:36,043 --> 00:15:38,423
- Chief, it's working!
- Mm.
403
00:15:38,498 --> 00:15:40,142
Chief, you are
a tough room.
404
00:15:40,210 --> 00:15:41,307
Was machen wir?
405
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,143
Umgruppieren!
Umgruppier...
406
00:15:43,842 --> 00:15:45,260
Gott im Himm...
407
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:48,010
Rueckzug! Rueckzug!
408
00:15:49,039 --> 00:15:51,565
Was ist...
409
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:57,871
Whoo! Chub Club!
410
00:15:58,065 --> 00:15:59,262
That was the last
of 'em!
411
00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:02,512
Yeah! Take that,
you Nazi bastards!
412
00:16:02,580 --> 00:16:04,682
Well, don't just
stand there and gawk.
413
00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:07,283
Go loot their corpses
for schnapps!
414
00:16:24,979 --> 00:16:26,369
Huh.
415
00:16:26,437 --> 00:16:28,215
Mua Mua:
Dugu! Nik andu! Dugu! Nik and!
416
00:16:28,283 --> 00:16:29,380
What are they chanting?
417
00:16:29,466 --> 00:16:31,300
- Death to whites!
- No offense!
418
00:16:31,368 --> 00:16:33,450
- Death to whites!
- No offense!
419
00:16:33,518 --> 00:16:34,449
- Huh.
- Yeah.
420
00:16:34,517 --> 00:16:35,981
Again, they're super racist.
421
00:16:36,049 --> 00:16:38,314
- But also weirdly polite.
- Eh.
422
00:16:38,403 --> 00:16:41,139
We showed those
German bastards, eh?
423
00:16:41,207 --> 00:16:43,330
What "we"?
Where the hell were you?
424
00:16:43,408 --> 00:16:46,455
Fighting!
Those German bastards!
425
00:16:46,523 --> 00:16:47,655
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah, right.
426
00:16:47,723 --> 00:16:50,065
I shot maybe ten
German bastards.
427
00:16:50,133 --> 00:16:52,634
Okay, well, as long
as I get the credit
428
00:16:52,702 --> 00:16:54,533
for the winning
battle plan, I...
429
00:16:54,601 --> 00:16:56,504
Victory is mine!
430
00:16:56,572 --> 00:16:59,642
All hail Kalua!
431
00:16:59,710 --> 00:17:01,541
Uh, you don't.
432
00:17:19,816 --> 00:17:21,015
Huh?
433
00:17:22,961 --> 00:17:25,662
Way to go,
toothless old lady!
434
00:17:26,562 --> 00:17:29,714
And now I think
it's feast o'clock!
435
00:17:29,843 --> 00:17:31,925
Hey, shouldn't we, um,
go make sure
436
00:17:31,993 --> 00:17:33,878
that guy's, like,
dead or whatever?
437
00:17:33,946 --> 00:17:36,747
No, dummy. Why do you think
they call it the widowmaker?
438
00:17:36,815 --> 00:17:37,856
Well, yeah,
but you made that up.
439
00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,725
Probably won't get credit
for that either.
440
00:17:39,793 --> 00:17:43,565
Teko! Besta!
Teko! Besta!
441
00:17:43,633 --> 00:17:45,738
Teko! Besta!
442
00:18:08,095 --> 00:18:09,738
Whoo!
443
00:18:09,806 --> 00:18:12,660
Oh, man, are feasts
not the best?
444
00:18:12,728 --> 00:18:14,792
Not this one.
Don't eat that!
445
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:16,279
Come on, try it!
446
00:18:16,347 --> 00:18:17,699
It tastes like chicken!
447
00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:19,183
I don't eat chicken!
448
00:18:19,370 --> 00:18:22,120
Yes! Finally!
Oysters!
449
00:18:22,223 --> 00:18:24,138
Oh, fun fact:
even though they serve those
450
00:18:24,206 --> 00:18:25,355
on oyster shells,
451
00:18:25,423 --> 00:18:27,217
they're actually
human testicles.
452
00:18:27,285 --> 00:18:28,769
Ha!
453
00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:31,958
Well, I mean,
at this point...
454
00:18:32,026 --> 00:18:33,355
you know?
455
00:18:34,262 --> 00:18:36,636
- Oh, wait!
- Oh, thank God.
456
00:18:36,704 --> 00:18:38,991
Noah, how do you say
"mignonette"?
457
00:18:39,059 --> 00:18:40,743
Oh, it's the same.
"Mignonette."
458
00:18:40,811 --> 00:18:41,876
- Seriously?
- What?
459
00:18:41,944 --> 00:18:43,493
Yeah, it's a loanword.
460
00:18:44,294 --> 00:18:46,130
Just the worst.
461
00:18:47,780 --> 00:18:51,576
Synchronized by srjanapala
462
00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:19,998
Made in Georgia.
31961
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