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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:02,920 Previously on WandaVision... 2 00:00:03,004 --> 00:00:04,755 We are an unusual couple, ya know? 3 00:00:07,425 --> 00:00:09,343 My wife and her flying saucers. 4 00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:12,054 My husband and his indestructible head. 5 00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:14,891 Hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right. 6 00:00:14,974 --> 00:00:16,726 You're like a walking computer. 7 00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:18,352 What? I most certainly am not. 8 00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:21,272 Dinner with Mr. Hart and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart. 9 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,356 What brought you here? 10 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,734 - How long have you been married? - Why did you come here? 11 00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:26,068 Damn it, why? 12 00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:28,946 Stop it. Stop it. 13 00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,574 Vision, help him. 14 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,745 What was that? 15 00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:27,505 Wanda? 16 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,589 Yes, dear? 17 00:01:28,673 --> 00:01:31,259 Are you using your powers to turn on the light? 18 00:01:31,342 --> 00:01:32,718 Yes, dear. 19 00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:34,553 Allow me, sweetheart. 20 00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:41,185 What do you see? 21 00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:43,813 Only your lovely rose bushes. 22 00:01:44,689 --> 00:01:45,940 That's all? 23 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:48,234 Are you using your night vision, Vision? 24 00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:50,569 I assure you, my love, I see nothing amiss. 25 00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,822 You have absolutely no reason to be frightened... 26 00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:58,744 You were saying? 27 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,872 Actually, I did overhear a couple of lads at work 28 00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:05,042 remarking on a few unsavory characters settling in the neighborhood. 29 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:08,129 Now, who knows what those ne'er-do-wells might be up to? 30 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,256 Robbing houses, vandalizing property. 31 00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:13,009 Walking through walls, moving objects without touching them. 32 00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:16,637 Wanda, darling, you can't be suggesting my colleagues were referring to us. 33 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:23,769 One of us should really determine the source of that sound. 34 00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:26,480 Yes, one of us should. 35 00:02:27,857 --> 00:02:30,067 This is getting ridiculous. 36 00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:32,111 I'm going to take a look. 37 00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,821 God! Darling! 38 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,203 Well, I think we handled that well. 39 00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:43,539 Yes, I must say I'm rather proud of myself. 40 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:47,668 And look how you seized on the opportunity to redecorate. 41 00:02:47,752 --> 00:02:50,379 This is better, isn't it? 42 00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:54,300 Wanda, darling? 43 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,551 Yes, dear? 44 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,845 Get the light. 45 00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,239 WandaVision! 46 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,751 WandaVision! 47 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:43,307 WandaVision Wa-WandaVision 48 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:45,643 WandaVision Wa-WandaVision 49 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,896 WandaVision Wa-WandaVision 50 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:51,607 WandaVision! 51 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:58,114 Ladies and gentlemen, for my final trick, 52 00:03:58,197 --> 00:04:02,827 I bring you the Cabinet of Mysteries. 53 00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:07,706 - Darling, that's your cue. - You said, "Cabinet of Mysteries?" 54 00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:11,794 I said, "The Cabinet of Mysteries." 55 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,088 That's my cue. 56 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,507 Holy Toledo! 57 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:20,302 Darling, do all the other acts in the talent show 58 00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:22,930 have such elaborate props? 59 00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:24,807 Are you kidding? 60 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,475 Fred and Linda are building a moat 61 00:04:26,559 --> 00:04:29,395 and a fully-functioning portcullis and no one even knows why. 62 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,312 Let's keep going. 63 00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:32,606 Yes, yes. Where was I? 64 00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:36,318 Watch closely as I, Illusion, Master of Enigma, 65 00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:39,989 make my captivating assistant, Glamour, disappear. 66 00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:45,703 You really are very dashing. 67 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,121 Thank you, darling. 68 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,457 Fear not, Glamour. 69 00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:54,128 For I, Illusion, vow to bring you back exactly as you are. 70 00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,882 Abracadabra! 71 00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:02,678 Ta-ta... 72 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:09,977 Yes, Wanda, you're not at all worried 73 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:14,023 that the audience might just see through this little charade? 74 00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:15,733 Well, that's the whole point. 75 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,444 In a real magic act, everything is fake. 76 00:05:19,612 --> 00:05:23,824 Darling, the talent show fundraiser is the most important event of the season 77 00:05:23,908 --> 00:05:26,410 and it's our neighborly duty to participate. 78 00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:29,997 Plus, it's our chance to appear as normal as possible while doing so. 79 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:33,042 Well, I don't think that should be a problem. 80 00:05:33,918 --> 00:05:35,294 This is our home now. 81 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:38,797 I want us to fit in. 82 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:42,176 Darling, we do. We shall. 83 00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:45,513 And we're gonna knock their socks off, 84 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:49,808 especially with you wearing this. 85 00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:52,019 That's actually the rest of your costume. 86 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,398 Well, I better get going 87 00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:58,609 If I'm gonna make the planning committee meeting. 88 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,736 That's me off as well, actually. 89 00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,571 There's a gathering of the neighborhood watch 90 00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:03,989 at the public library. 91 00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,950 And after last night's excitement, 92 00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:09,370 I want to make sure this town's security is up to snuff. 93 00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:11,413 That's a swell idea. 94 00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:15,251 You tell those tree branches who's boss. 95 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:17,962 Would you look at us? 96 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,923 Wanda and Vision, Westview fitter-inners. 97 00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:24,802 I'll see you at curtain call. 98 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:38,834 Look, it's the star o' the show. 99 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,461 Agnes. 100 00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:42,963 I'm sorry. What did you say? 101 00:07:43,047 --> 00:07:46,133 I brought my pet rabbit. For your magic act. 102 00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:50,429 Yes, of course! Thank you, Agnes. 103 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:53,766 We will take good care of him. 104 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:56,518 Señor Scratchy just loves the stage. 105 00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:59,396 He played baby Jesus in last year's Christmas pageant. 106 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,110 Morning, Dennis. 107 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,612 Morning, Agnes. 108 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:07,780 Stick 'em up. 109 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,367 Don't shoot. I'm just a messenger. 110 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:13,202 Pew-pew! 111 00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,917 - Shall we? - We shall. 112 00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:28,217 So, are you ready to meet Queen Cul de Sac and her Merry Homemakers? 113 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,761 Agnes, Dottie can't be as bad as you say. 114 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:34,890 Well, you'll notice her roses bloom under penalty of death. 115 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:41,397 Wanda, can I give you a bit of friendly advice? 116 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,190 Is it about the way how I'm dressed? 117 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,234 Yes, but it's too late for that. 118 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,154 Dottie is the key to everything in this town. 119 00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:52,950 Country club memberships, parties, school admissions... 120 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,244 Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. 121 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:59,206 You get in with Dottie and it'll be smooth sailing from here on out. 122 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:02,584 Just mind your P's and Q's and you're gonna do just fine. 123 00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:06,547 Or maybe I could just be myself? More or less? 124 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,429 Wanda, that's good. 125 00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:18,475 Everybody, hurry up please. 126 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:23,105 Hiya, Dottie! Your roses are divine. 127 00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:24,690 Well, thank you. 128 00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:36,660 The Rotary Club is finishing the stage set-up as we speak. 129 00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:39,079 They've given the gazebo a fresh coat of paint 130 00:09:39,163 --> 00:09:42,958 and will be installing the final decorations all through the town square. 131 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,877 And if you recognize the antique footlights, 132 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,129 it's because they're from my store. 133 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:48,714 And the chairs? 134 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,927 I'm sorry, Dottie. I didn't ask about the chairs. 135 00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:57,973 So you better not ask me if you can chair any committees in the future. 136 00:10:01,477 --> 00:10:03,479 The devil's in the details, Bev. 137 00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:05,939 That's not the only place he is. 138 00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:08,150 As you all know, the talent show 139 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:11,069 is the sole fundraiser for Westview Elementary. 140 00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,154 This might help. 141 00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,907 In the eight years since I founded our little club, 142 00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:18,243 this event has gotten bigger and better every season. 143 00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:21,121 Say, those pants are peachy keen. 144 00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:22,748 Do you really think so? 145 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,083 The other ladies are in skirts. I was worried. 146 00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,169 We only have a few hours until show time, 147 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:30,422 so a little less cross chatter and a little more focus. 148 00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:32,716 Okay. 149 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,469 Those little boys and girls are counting on us. 150 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,347 All of this is for the children. 151 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:39,765 "For the children." 152 00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:42,392 "For the children." 153 00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:49,817 So, I want you all to give yourselves a big hand... 154 00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:55,447 ...at the appropriate time, of course. 155 00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:58,992 But first let's review event etiquette. 156 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,995 Dress code is upscale garden party... 157 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:05,165 The only reason I didn't clap is because I'm afraid to move. 158 00:11:05,249 --> 00:11:06,291 Yeah. 159 00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,627 I actually don't know what I'm doing here. 160 00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:11,922 I'm starting to feel that way myself. I'm Wanda. 161 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:16,260 - I'm, Geraldine. - Hi. 162 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,303 And I'm irritated. 163 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:24,101 Tickets for tonight are completely sold out. 164 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,103 Now, you can clap. 165 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,356 And stop. 166 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,443 Really, how is anybody doing this sober? 167 00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:45,330 - Let's say green. - Yeah. 168 00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:47,165 I mean, the other side could be dirt. 169 00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:50,294 Pardon me. Is this the neighborhood watch meeting? 170 00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,547 Hiya, Vision. 171 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:56,133 Didn't expect to see you here. 172 00:11:56,967 --> 00:12:00,762 This is sort of a "members only" type deal. 173 00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:03,765 Certainly. Right. Well... 174 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,977 I'll just stay here and be as quiet as a church mouse 175 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,187 till you open up the floor for new business. 176 00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:12,399 Well, in truth, we were just getting to new business. 177 00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:15,319 Splendid! Could you tell me how often you rotate security patrols? 178 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,821 Do you interface directly with local law enforcement? 179 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,157 What are your protocols for threats such as burglary, 180 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,408 graffiti, and reckless driving? 181 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:24,536 - No, Vision. - I know these are indeed grave matters. 182 00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:28,081 "New business" actually means another round of Danish. 183 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:31,543 Raspberry or cheese-filled? 184 00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:34,546 Neither for me, thank you. I don't eat food. 185 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:44,389 What I mean to say is that I don't eat food in between meals but at mealtimes. 186 00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:47,059 I'm a regular eating machine. 187 00:12:50,062 --> 00:12:52,481 Hey, fellas. Vision here has got a point. 188 00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:56,443 Now, listen up. I got some top secret intelligence for you. 189 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:57,569 Excellent. 190 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,072 Now, you know how Johnson's been braggin' 191 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,782 about that treehouse he built for his kids? 192 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:02,991 Yeah. 193 00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:05,077 It's a prefab job. 194 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:08,830 That blockhead can't even swing a hammer. 195 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:10,624 I can do you one better. 196 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,710 You know those bowling trophies Arthur's always polishing? 197 00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:17,422 He bought 'em all at a yard sale in Hackensack. 198 00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:20,550 I knew it. I've never once seen him down at the lanes. 199 00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:25,472 I too have some top secret gossip to share. 200 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,102 Norm here's a Communist. 201 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,155 Vision, you're a real cut-up. 202 00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:44,366 You know, I always thought you were kind of a square. 203 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:48,036 Me? No, I'm as round as they come. 204 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,081 Hey, care for a stick o' Big Red? 205 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,333 Well, hold on there a second. 206 00:13:53,417 --> 00:13:55,544 Didn't you hear the man? He doesn't eat food. 207 00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,087 Is gum food? 208 00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,132 Well, my understanding is that it's purely for mastication. 209 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,217 No, I don't do that. 210 00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:06,138 Well, when in Westview... Cheers. 211 00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:09,307 Who knew you were such a funny guy? 212 00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:13,895 And to think you came here all hot and bothered about protocols and nonsense. 213 00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:16,523 We actually thought you were serious. 214 00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:28,285 He's funny. All right, so, back to this barbeque. 215 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:38,503 That is why you never do a seating chart on an empty stomach. 216 00:14:38,587 --> 00:14:41,631 Golly, you're a whiz at all this committee stuff, Dottie. 217 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:45,594 Thank you for choosing me to help you clean up today. I feel so lucky. 218 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,512 You are. 219 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,061 I can't help but wonder if you and I 220 00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:56,480 haven't gotten off on the wrong foot, Dottie. 221 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:59,691 And I would like to correct that if I can. 222 00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:01,485 And how would you do that? 223 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:07,074 I've heard things about you. 224 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,203 You and your husband. 225 00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:15,540 Well, I don't know what you've been told, 226 00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:22,255 but I assure you I don't mean anyone any harm. 227 00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:25,592 I don't believe you. 228 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:34,643 Wanda. Wanda, can you read me, over? 229 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,771 - Wanda? - Who is that? 230 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,397 Wanda? 231 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,611 Who are you? 232 00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:47,155 Wanda? 233 00:15:47,239 --> 00:15:49,533 Wanda. 234 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,076 Who is doing this to you, Wanda? 235 00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:55,497 Wanda? Wanda? Wan... 236 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,961 Dottie! 237 00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:07,425 You... 238 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,225 Pop quiz, Wanda. 239 00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:19,688 How does a housewife get a bloodstain out of white linen? 240 00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:23,900 By doing it herself. 241 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:37,664 They say a man is never fully-dressed without two important accessories. 242 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,624 His special lady... 243 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,171 and his Strücker. 244 00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:53,180 Strücker. He'll make time for you. 245 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,616 Glad I don't have to follow this guy. 246 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,242 What? 247 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,369 But you're gonna be great. 248 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,707 What time is it now? 249 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,626 Two minutes after the last time you asked. 250 00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,921 I don't know where he could be. 251 00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:32,219 Is that him? 252 00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:35,555 Well, it looks like he's got a little hitch in his giddy-up. 253 00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:45,065 Wanda, my little cabbage, you look smashing! 254 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,238 Vis. 255 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:52,697 Where have you been? 256 00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:54,699 Well, me and the boys were playing 257 00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:57,619 a rather thrilling game of horses with shoes. 258 00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:58,870 No, that's not it. 259 00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:00,872 Shoe horses! No. 260 00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:03,291 Horse's shoes. 261 00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:07,504 Listen, something strange happened with Dottie. 262 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:11,967 Well, something strange happened before that, too. It's hard to explain. 263 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:14,552 I was just playing with his shoes. 264 00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,263 What is going on? 265 00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:17,430 You are! 266 00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:22,227 I want to thank you all for coming out 267 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:26,606 to support Westview Elementary, "For the children." 268 00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,441 "For the children." 269 00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,193 And for our final act... 270 00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:34,197 I give you, Wanda and Vision. 271 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,300 Hey! Hey! You're up, Cowboy! 272 00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:54,926 What? 273 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,471 Yeah! I've to go! 274 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:02,684 Hello, Westview! Good afternoon. 275 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,144 It's so lovely to be... 276 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,688 I'm so sorry. Excuse me. 277 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,941 I am Glamour and this is my delightful assistant, Illusion. 278 00:19:10,025 --> 00:19:14,362 I am Glamour and he's Illusion. 279 00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:17,449 Yeah, what she said. 280 00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:23,663 Today, we will lie to you and yet you will believe our little deceptions 281 00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:25,540 because human beings are easily fooled 282 00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:29,085 due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe. 283 00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:31,129 Flourish! 284 00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:33,256 You just do it, you don't say it out loud, honey. 285 00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:38,386 And now my wife and I will delight 286 00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:41,097 in your dumbstruck little faces. 287 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,850 Flourish! 288 00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,992 See there? He's using a rope. 289 00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:05,663 Wanda, what's... No! No! Wanda, please! 290 00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:08,166 Darling, let me down! 291 00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:12,003 I'm feeling pukey! 292 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:18,718 What's next? 293 00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:21,930 Yeah, this is... This is gonna be great! 294 00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:25,100 A staggering feat of strength. 295 00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:34,192 Illusion... 296 00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:39,864 - Illusion, Master of Enigma, allow me. - Yeah? 297 00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,325 What? 298 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:49,290 You weren't supposed to see how we did that trick. 299 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,837 That was my grandmother's piano. 300 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:58,341 Sherbert! Yeah, this is my old mate, Sherbert. 301 00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:00,927 Stand up, Sherbert. Say hello to the crowd. 302 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:02,387 It's Herbert, Herb. 303 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:06,516 Pipe down, Sherbie, and pick a card. Any card. 304 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,017 Yeah, put it back in the deck. 305 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:12,772 I'm not looking. All right. Watch this. 306 00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:15,984 Is this your card? 307 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:18,528 No. 308 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,738 I beg to differ. 309 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,659 Really? Is this your card? 310 00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:26,870 Vision... 311 00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:32,083 Is this your card? Is this your card? Is this your card? Is this your card? 312 00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:34,461 Is this your card? 313 00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:36,463 Is this your card? Is this your card? 314 00:21:36,546 --> 00:21:38,131 - No. No. No. No. - Is this your card? 315 00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:40,925 Is this your card? Is this your card? Is this your card? Is this your card? 316 00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:42,218 Is this your card? 317 00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:43,511 It is! 318 00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:44,679 It is what? 319 00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:45,930 It's my card. 320 00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:49,350 Well, pardon me, Herb. Have it back. 321 00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:51,936 No, you did the trick right. 322 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:54,522 Well, of course I did the trick right! I'm Illusion! 323 00:21:54,606 --> 00:21:55,607 Flourish! 324 00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:01,905 And now, for my next trick... 325 00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,615 Goodness me. 326 00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:05,950 Who stole my hat? 327 00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:07,952 Stop that rabbit! 328 00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:10,830 I gotta need to pull a hat out of it. 329 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:14,959 Señor Scratchy's got real star quality, don't you think? 330 00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:18,505 Maybe we leave the poor bunny out this one, shall we? 331 00:22:18,588 --> 00:22:21,883 Well then, I will just have to pull this hat... 332 00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:24,802 ...out of myself. 333 00:22:26,888 --> 00:22:28,014 Vision, no. 334 00:22:28,097 --> 00:22:29,724 I'm doin' it. 335 00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:40,944 If only you all knew our secret. 336 00:22:43,947 --> 00:22:45,865 Is that how mirrors work? 337 00:22:45,949 --> 00:22:47,158 Shut up, Bev. 338 00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:52,705 And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our grand finale. 339 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:57,835 I bring you, The Magnet of Crysteries! 340 00:22:57,919 --> 00:22:59,295 The Cabinet of Mysteries! 341 00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:01,297 Yeah, yeah. What she said. 342 00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:05,677 I will now make my wife... 343 00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:08,763 ...disappear. 344 00:23:10,598 --> 00:23:15,562 Are you sure you don't want an audience volunteer named "My husband Ralph?" 345 00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:23,611 No. Abracadabra! 346 00:23:25,947 --> 00:23:28,324 - Sweetheart? - Yeah? 347 00:23:29,242 --> 00:23:31,703 Hi. 348 00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:35,206 What's in the box? 349 00:23:35,290 --> 00:23:38,668 What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? 350 00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:40,086 Yeah, what's in the box? 351 00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:42,922 What's in the box? What's in the box? 352 00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:46,009 What's in the box? What's in the box? 353 00:23:55,310 --> 00:23:56,477 Yes! 354 00:23:56,561 --> 00:23:58,062 Flourish. 355 00:24:05,194 --> 00:24:06,195 Let's get outta here. 356 00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:08,406 Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 357 00:24:08,489 --> 00:24:09,907 - I'm so stupid. - Vis? Vis, it's all right. 358 00:24:09,991 --> 00:24:12,368 It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. 359 00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:13,786 But what is going on with you? 360 00:24:13,870 --> 00:24:17,915 I have no idea. I've been feeling weirdy all day. 361 00:24:17,999 --> 00:24:20,335 Okay. Okay. Okay. 362 00:24:32,347 --> 00:24:34,349 Would you look at that? 363 00:24:34,432 --> 00:24:36,643 That really gummed up my works, didn't it? 364 00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:42,523 I'm not as funny without it, am I? 365 00:24:42,607 --> 00:24:45,652 Well, you're back to yourself and that's all I care about. 366 00:24:45,735 --> 00:24:47,236 Now, let's get out of here before Dottie 367 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,948 and the planning committee string us up for ruining the show. 368 00:24:59,374 --> 00:25:02,251 You two, stop right there. 369 00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:08,883 Nothing like what you two just did up here 370 00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:12,887 has ever happened in the history of our talent show. 371 00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:17,475 Dottie, we are so... 372 00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:19,018 Hilarious. 373 00:25:21,646 --> 00:25:25,108 That was the most hilarious act we've ever seen. 374 00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:27,110 Wouldn't you all agree? 375 00:25:27,193 --> 00:25:28,861 Yeah. 376 00:25:30,530 --> 00:25:32,907 Yes. 377 00:25:32,990 --> 00:25:34,784 You two, come on up. Come on. 378 00:25:37,704 --> 00:25:40,206 On behalf of the planning committee, 379 00:25:40,289 --> 00:25:41,457 I would like to award you 380 00:25:41,541 --> 00:25:46,003 with the inaugural Comedy Performance of the Year. 381 00:25:46,087 --> 00:25:47,630 Thank you. 382 00:26:03,438 --> 00:26:04,564 I have to ask. 383 00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:09,318 One second, I'm backstage and in the next, I'm in a dark cubby hole. 384 00:26:09,402 --> 00:26:10,403 How'd you do it? 385 00:26:10,486 --> 00:26:12,447 A magician never reveals his secrets. 386 00:26:12,530 --> 00:26:14,323 He leaves that to his assistant. 387 00:26:14,407 --> 00:26:16,576 And she's not talking. 388 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,204 I had a feeling you'd say that. 389 00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:25,251 "For the children!" 390 00:26:25,334 --> 00:26:27,545 "For the children!" 391 00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:35,887 You were tremendous, Glamour. 392 00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:39,140 As were you, Illusion. 393 00:26:41,517 --> 00:26:43,895 I don't know what I was so worried about. 394 00:26:44,479 --> 00:26:47,356 It wasn't so hard to fit in after all. 395 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,443 And all we had to do was be ourselves. 396 00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:53,404 Well, with a few modifications. 397 00:26:53,488 --> 00:26:56,699 - And it was all for the children. - For the children. 398 00:26:57,408 --> 00:27:00,495 Well, I think the children might need some popcorn. 399 00:27:01,454 --> 00:27:02,455 Wanda. 400 00:27:02,538 --> 00:27:04,207 What? 401 00:27:08,336 --> 00:27:11,923 Vision... Is this really happening? 402 00:27:15,051 --> 00:27:16,469 Yes, my love. 403 00:27:17,094 --> 00:27:18,387 It's really happening. 404 00:27:20,723 --> 00:27:26,270 If it's that damn tree again, I am going to rip it out by the roots! 405 00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:35,238 I don't see anything. 406 00:27:46,707 --> 00:27:48,709 What is that? 407 00:27:55,633 --> 00:27:57,093 Wanda. 408 00:28:11,941 --> 00:28:13,192 No. 409 00:28:22,243 --> 00:28:27,331 Vision... Is this really happening? 410 00:28:28,249 --> 00:28:30,501 Yes, my love. 411 00:28:31,294 --> 00:28:33,629 It's really happening. 412 00:28:46,392 --> 00:28:47,935 Vision... 413 00:29:20,593 --> 00:29:25,056 Wanda? Who's doing this to you, Wanda? 414 00:29:25,139 --> 00:29:26,557 Wanda? 30091

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