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MUSIC: 20th Century Boy
by T.Rex
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00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,280
# Yeah
3
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,400
# Friends say it's fine
4
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,120
# Friends say it's good
5
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:27,520
# Everybody says it's just like
rock and roll... #
6
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:28,960
TYRES SQUEAL
7
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,680
SHE GASPS
8
00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,000
Whoops!
9
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:42,040
# I move like a cat
Charge like a ram
10
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,920
# Sting like a bee
11
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:48,680
# Babe, I wanna be your man
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00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,280
# Hey
13
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:56,640
# Well, it's plain to see
You were meant for me, yeah... #
14
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,880
- Oh, it's looking good, Dave.
- No worries.
15
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,480
CHURCH BELL RINGS
16
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:36,120
{\an8}MUSIC: Young Hearts Run Free
by Candi Staton
17
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,360
# What's the sense in sharing
18
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,520
# This one and only life
19
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,920
# Ending up just another
lost and lonely wife. #
20
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,520
Oh, this is just perfect, isn't it?
21
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,440
You know when the estate agent
showed me around, she said,
22
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,880
"I'm so sorry, you're going to have
to gut the place.
23
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,880
"It's not been touched
since the '70s.
24
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,200
I said, "Are you kidding, love?
It's perfect."
25
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,240
It is like a time capsule.
26
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:09,000
Just got time to get me
lucky frame up before we open.
27
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,280
MUSIC CONTINUES ON RADIO
28
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:12,640
What is that?
29
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,040
I ran away to London
when I was a teenager.
30
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:21,960
Got into hairdressing, and I was
working all the high-end salons.
31
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,760
All the top folk were coming in.
32
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:27,520
I knew 'em all and they knew me.
It were lovely.
33
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,080
And when they'd had a whizzer
and I was sweeping up after,
34
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:31,880
I'd preserve a lock.
35
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,280
Rod Stewart.
36
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,240
David Cassidy, look.
37
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:41,720
George Best.
So black, it's almost deep blue.
38
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,120
Noddy Holder.
39
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:44,760
Blondie.
40
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,720
It's The Goodies.
41
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:48,480
Kate Bush.
42
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:49,960
Parkinson himself.
43
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,440
Ah, Donna Summer.
44
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,280
That is a clip of Bjorn's beard
from ABBA.
45
00:02:56,280 --> 00:03:00,600
And my prize -
a snip of dear David.
46
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,240
Bowie.
47
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:03,680
From his Ziggy days.
48
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:07,440
Sorry, it's just, it is
eight tenths off the perpendicular
49
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,480
and a centimetre
off the vertical, so...
50
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,040
- ..may I?
- Yeah.
51
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,720
So exciting.
52
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,040
I've been researching the '70s
since I got the job.
53
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,120
I like to be thorough.
54
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,000
I noticed that at your interview.
55
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:29,280
Is that why I got the job?
Oh, hey, I do like this music.
56
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,840
CHUCKLES: That is why
you got the job.
57
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,520
- Go on, give us a twirl.
- Oh...!
58
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,720
Oh, no!
59
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,280
Be gone!
60
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,280
Go on.
61
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,760
Be...gone!
62
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,080
Scoot!
63
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,280
Dreadful woman.
64
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,520
HE SIGHS
65
00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,400
Watch out!
66
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,400
Yeah, it's mainly junk.
67
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,480
I'm gutting the place, yeah.
68
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:09,000
Having a right good clear out,
and there's one or two things
69
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,960
you might want to pass your
experienced eye over.
70
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,920
- WHISPERS:
- Mr Terry, I've got a hair appointment.
71
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,600
- What?
- A hair appointment!
72
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,240
Shush!
73
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:19,800
Sorry, Race.
74
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,360
Well, to be honest, Terrance,
75
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,600
I don't envisage there being much
for me.
76
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:27,240
And to be frank, I don't fancy
a trip out for nowt.
77
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,560
Hey! Don't be too hasty,
there's a few choice things.
78
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,040
'Ere, let me look.
79
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,560
Nice candle stick,
80
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,000
condiment holder,
81
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,560
antique cup and saucer.
82
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,120
One second, pray.
83
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,560
Er, please describe.
84
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,240
Well, it's...
85
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,840
Wait there, let me take a photo.
86
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,520
Hang on. Let me get some light.
87
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,960
Two seconds, Race.
88
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,720
MESSAGE WHOOSHES
89
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,440
MESSAGE ALERT PINGS
90
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,400
Did you get the photo?
91
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,640
Yes, yes, I got it all right.
92
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:18,720
I'm coming over.
93
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,200
Keep it safe.
94
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,280
CALL DISCONNECTS
95
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,480
Result!
96
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,200
HE HUMS TO HIMSELF
97
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:31,080
Mr Terry, we agreed that
if I worked late last night,
98
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,000
I could have a few hours off today.
99
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,800
- I'm already late -
and if I miss that bus... - Yes! Yes.
100
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,280
Go, then, toddle on.
101
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:41,880
You did say you'd try and sort
something out for the charity shop.
102
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,640
I've already donated
my Frank's stuff after he...
103
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,160
Oh, yes, yes.
104
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,320
Oh, just take that box of crap.
105
00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:51,360
It's going in the skip anyway.
Move it!
106
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,360
And get back pronto!
107
00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,200
Blooming heck, what a rush.
108
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,000
CHURCH BELL CHIMES
109
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,040
DOORBELL RINGS
110
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,800
Sorry I'm so late.
111
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,880
Sorry. So sorry.
112
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,520
- Can I leave this here?
- 'Course you can.
113
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,960
I've got to get it down
the charity shop.
114
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:25,600
Then after that, straight on the bus
and back to work.
115
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,200
Sorry.
116
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,720
That painting's a bit
circa 1970s, innit?
117
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:34,040
Oh, have it if you like.
It was destined for the skip.
118
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:38,000
Just don't ask me
which way up it goes.
119
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,200
She's struggling for lolly,
poor love.
120
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,840
Ooh!
25% off.
121
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:45,520
Welcome is that.
122
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,640
- How did you know?
- I'm a hairdresser. Read the cut, kid.
123
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:52,160
- What?
- She's Mutt and Jeff in her left ear as well.
124
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:53,840
You're our first-ever customer.
125
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:56,800
- Pardon, love?
- You're our first-ever customer.
126
00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,960
Oh, sorry, love, I'm bit hard of
hearing in this blinking side.
127
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,520
- Sorry.
- She has the hair always pushed back over the left ear.
128
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,760
You can see the permanent kink.
129
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,480
I'm Val, by the way.
130
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,520
Valerie Stromboli, isn't it?
131
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:15,520
It is, love. There hangs a tale.
132
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,880
I remember me first cut here
as a girl.
133
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,800
Me mother brought me.
134
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,800
It's exactly the same.
135
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,600
In fact, I think that very track
was playing.
136
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,640
- Oh, it's lovely, isn't it?
- Clary's a convert!
137
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,760
So, please take a seat
in Sir Swivel.
138
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,720
SHE GASPS
139
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,720
Are you all right?
140
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,560
I never look in a mirror for
more than a second or two lately.
141
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,120
Look at the sorry, sorry state
of me.
142
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,880
Are you sure you're all right?
143
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,480
Can I get you a tea? Or a coffee?
144
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,960
Ever since my Frank went...
145
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,400
..I've let meself go.
146
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,480
SHE SOBS
147
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,480
Hey, you're with us now.
148
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,200
Leave yourself in my hands.
149
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,600
DOORBELL TINKLES
150
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,720
I'm here for my appointment.
151
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,560
Sorry, at... At what time was it?
152
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,560
- Now.
- Now.
153
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,400
I've got nothing in my book,
I'm afraid.
154
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,960
Every third month,
I have it on this time on this date.
155
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,520
I'm sorry, the last owner's
sold up, love.
156
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,040
- But it's no problem if you can wait.
- No!
157
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,880
Oh, dear!
158
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,440
Don't give her any mind.
That's Miss Pru.
159
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,520
No need to explain.
160
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,200
Those with straight fringes that go
thataway are always like that.
161
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,520
- What do you mean?
- They've no patience.
162
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,280
She moves around the town like that.
163
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,200
That's bob on. They call her
Miss Pru Never Queue.
164
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,240
Yeah, she lives alone,
165
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,600
she was in the teaching profession,
probably,
166
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,200
and she is not popular with anyone.
167
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,080
Yes! How did you know?
168
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,640
Oh, she's like
the Hairdressing Holmes.
169
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,240
Elementary, my dear Clary.
170
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,680
Got the whole blinking lot there,
all right,
171
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:11,440
except she's no time for anyone
except her titchy dog.
172
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,760
And even she can't stand her!
173
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,480
Spinster of the parish?
174
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:16,680
Oh, not quite.
175
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:19,680
I could tell you a few things
about old Pru
176
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:23,240
and a certain gentleman
antique dealer.
177
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,560
Ooh! Hanky panky?
178
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,720
Well, let's just say
179
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,680
furtive conversations
in darkened corners.
180
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,400
Ooh, I'm sorry.
181
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,920
I'm so sorry.
182
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:43,160
I can't settle until I've got
that box to the charity shop
183
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,920
and back to work.
184
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:48,720
- Don't you worry about that,
I'll nip it up in me break. - Ooh!
185
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:49,760
Thanks.
186
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,160
She's not moving!
187
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,200
Ooh! She's scary, her.
188
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,320
Let me get my maddy baddy face on.
189
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,920
Not yet!
190
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,480
It's on the sign!
191
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:23,720
Never fails.
192
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,200
SHE CHUCKLES
193
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,640
Oh, there's another one.
194
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:27,840
Oh!
195
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,040
Not....
196
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,560
Oh, my God! It's her, it's her!
197
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,920
It's you, the new hairdresser
in town.
198
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,200
You're not supposed to be in
cos of the sale.
199
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,680
- Oh.
- But sod it sideways. Come on in. Come in!
200
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:46,160
- I was just bringing a box...
- Put the box down there.
201
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,680
- Ta, dove.
- Thanks. And would you mind terribly...
202
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,080
- Oh, what's these leaflets?
- Well, you know.
203
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:56,080
Well, welcome
to the Harrods of hand-me-downs,
204
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,640
as it's known!
205
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,640
HE LAUGHS
206
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,880
Here, let's get
these product placed.
207
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,520
Ooh! 25% off.
208
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:05,960
- Get this, Dobbie.
- Oh, I'll have some of that.
209
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,440
THEY ALL LAUGH
210
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,720
What brought you here, dear?
211
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:13,080
Oh, a place of my own, somewhere
quiet, doing what I love best.
212
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,240
- What about you?
- Same. Samesies.
213
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,920
I danced all over -
214
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,840
cabarets, casinos, cruises -
215
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,600
till me tendons screamed out
for mercy.
216
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:26,080
And I find me calling here,
among the cast-offs.
217
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,520
- Aw!
- Don't encourage him.
218
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:32,560
He'll be giving his story via means
of interpretive dance in a minute.
219
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:35,560
Where do you come from?
220
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:37,360
Worked in London most of my career.
221
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,960
Oh! I got a taste of t'smoke an all.
222
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,640
- A drag review off Piccadilly.
- Oh!
223
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,160
# I'm wearing
224
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,720
# Second hand hats
225
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,560
# Second hand clothes
226
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:55,080
BOTH SING: # Never had
a single thing that's new. #
227
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,000
We had Danny La Rue
in our shop once.
228
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,200
Don't tell me, was you working
at Sassoon's,
229
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,840
and Leonard of Mayfair,
all that lot?
230
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,600
Yep.
231
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,320
Be still, my beating heart.
232
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,960
That must have been marvellous.
233
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,760
Here you are, meet the mob.
234
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,440
- Lonnie.
- Lily.
235
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:17,080
And on ironing and pricing
and everything else, we have...
236
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,520
Dobbie!
237
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,520
THEY LAUGH
238
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,080
Our Gran Friday. She does the lot.
239
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:25,560
Oh, and on sorting
and sullen grunts,
240
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,680
we have The Bad Lads in the back.
241
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,920
- WHISPERS:
- Community service. - Right, right, right, right.
242
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:30,960
Lads!
243
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,840
- BOTH:
- 'Ey up.
244
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:39,040
They won't be requiring your
25% off, as you may have noticed.
245
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,840
Good thing you've come
when you've come.
246
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,680
We're about to lower the drawbridge.
247
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,200
- God save us.
- Mmm!
248
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,320
Hang on to everything
that's not nailed down.
249
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:49,320
- Dobbie's bingo dobber went
last time, didn't it, love? - Yeah.
250
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,480
Here, you'll be losing this one
an' all.
251
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,280
Initialled an' all.
252
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:55,920
Me lucky dobber.
253
00:12:55,920 --> 00:13:01,080
Dobbie's bingo barmy. Goes nowhere
without her dobber, do you, dovelet?
254
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,240
Oh! Ha-ha!
255
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,000
Cheeky!
256
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,080
I had a lipstick that hue in '72.
257
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,800
THEY LAUGH
258
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,880
God love us, what a mess!
259
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,440
Dear, oh, dear.
260
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:15,880
Terrance!
261
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,640
All right, Race? Hey? Yeah?
262
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:22,480
All right, yes. Just brushing off
the dust and the past.
263
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,200
Too many memories, you see.
264
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,120
I recall this establishment
in its heyday.
265
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,680
I bet you do!
266
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,880
The last owner just took off.
267
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,360
I got it as a job lot.
268
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:35,360
- Oh, yeah?
- So much junk.
269
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:36,880
Hey, let me show you that teacup.
270
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,400
Oh, yes, yes, yes!
271
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,720
Oh!
272
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,400
Oh, wait.
273
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,720
Daft mare's taken the wrong box.
274
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:52,280
Right, before we go any further,
this was definitely it?
275
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,080
- 'Course it bloody were!
- Right, sorry, where is it?
276
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,800
The charity shop.
277
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:01,480
You do realise it was worth 35
at least?
278
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:02,760
Oh, great!
279
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,680
That's 35 quid down the Swanee.
280
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,000
No.
281
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,800
35,000!
282
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,200
I'm sorry I'm late.
283
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:15,920
Do you like me hair?
284
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,120
What?
285
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:22,960
Here!
286
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,160
- What a haul.
- I know.
287
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,880
It was like Raiders of the Lost Ark,
though I did get out by a whisker.
288
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,200
- What?
- The charge of the four-for-two tsunami.
289
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,680
Hey, and guess who was at the head
of it, elbowing like a good 'un?
290
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,240
- Who?
- Miss Pru.
291
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,440
She glared at me with,
"Get out of my way or die!"
292
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,000
And the corners on that trolley...
293
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,480
Ow!
294
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,000
Like the daggers
on Boudicca's chariot wheel.
295
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,120
Come on, Val,
step out for goodness' sake.
296
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,080
- I'm so sorry!
- Hurry up! - Hop in the back.
297
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:52,800
GEARS GRIND
298
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,440
OK. Right hand, red.
299
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,200
DOORBELL TINKLES
300
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,800
Oh, Val, your beautiful barnet.
301
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,200
The box! Have you still got
that box?
302
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,680
What?!
303
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,360
LILY AND CLARY SHRIEK
304
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,440
- Where's the teacup!
- Sorry?
305
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,800
- The teacup, man!
- Sorry, what?
306
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,560
It was in the box I brought.
307
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,320
Oh, that box.
It's still by the door.
308
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:25,680
- Shift!
- Ooh!
309
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,120
Shift!
310
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,480
Nothing here.
311
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:31,680
It must have been sold, then.
312
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,720
Didn't see it go, no.
313
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,160
I never miss a sale or a receipt.
314
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:39,160
Whatever the siege,
no teacup passed by me.
315
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,040
Listen here, you,
I need that teacup back.
316
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,640
And listen here, foghorn,
no teacup was sold.
317
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,280
- You saying it's been nicked?
- Must have been.
318
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,520
I want this place turning over,
you hear me?!
319
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,080
I want my teacup back!
320
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,240
It's been turned over.
Everything's gone.
321
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,160
There's been tons of people
through this place.
322
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,720
It could be anywhere.
323
00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,040
- I want it!
- Hey. Hey!
324
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,120
Calm down. Calm down, old boy.
325
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,760
Someone must have
seen something, right?
326
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,840
I'm letting you know,
I will get that cup and saucer back
327
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,800
if it kills me
or I have to kill someone!
328
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:14,000
And you're sacked!
329
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:14,000
VALERIE SOBS
330
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:19,120
Just to explain his rather
over-temperate reaction.
331
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,920
This is a piece dating from
the 18th century.
332
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,080
Oh, swipe me sideways!
333
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,120
I mean, it is what you might call
most collectable.
334
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:29,920
Here, see.
335
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,560
Oh, that's beautiful.
336
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,520
Exquisite.
337
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,920
Oh, I like that. It's lovely.
338
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:40,040
And it is worth �35,000.
339
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,560
EVERYONE GASPS
340
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:46,320
But cup must come with saucer.
341
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,440
Only the best for you.
342
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,840
It was crazy.
343
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,000
And Lonnie turned the whole shop
over again once they'd gone
344
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,840
and it wasn't there.
345
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,840
CAR HORN BLARES
346
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:06,160
Oh!
347
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,480
The van just missed her.
348
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,120
It was going hell for leather.
349
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:19,240
Oh! She's terrified, poor thing.
350
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,560
Let's have a look
at the identification.
351
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,680
Miss Prudence Snook.
352
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,400
114, Chapel Street.
353
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,080
I reckon that's that Miss Pru
that came in here.
354
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:33,680
- They did say she had a dog.
- Ooh. - Poor baby.
355
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:36,720
We better get her back.
356
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:47,280
It's OK.
357
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,600
Oh!
358
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,720
- Oh, no!
- Guess it must be that one. - It must be that one.
359
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,640
LILY LAUGHS
360
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:16,760
Lily!
361
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,440
We can't just...
362
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,360
Miss Pru!
363
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,800
- We found your dog.
- Lily!
364
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,880
We can't just...
365
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:29,680
Miss Pru?
366
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,240
- Clary.
- Yeah?
367
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,200
DOG WHIMPERS
368
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,000
That's what I've heard anyway.
369
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,440
Take care.
370
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,360
And if you hear anything else,
you know...
371
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,840
Miss Pru was known to the police.
372
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,720
- She was diagnosed as a kleptomaniac.
- Blimey!
373
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,480
We were watching her but assured
by her doctor that she was cured.
374
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,840
Obviously not.
375
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,400
I mean, it looks like a simple and
sad accident waiting to happen.
376
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,920
There's way too much stuff here,
377
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,920
she was climbing the ladder
and fell.
378
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,960
- I'm sorry, you can't come in here.
- Oh, sorry.
379
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,920
What's going on?
Just on me way back from bingo,
380
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,680
saw the police car and that.
381
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,440
I'll have to ask you to leave,
thank you.
382
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,080
There's been an accident.
383
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,480
It's Miss Pru. She's dead.
384
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,360
WOMAN GASPS
385
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:35,120
Terrible accident,
according to the undertakers.
386
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:37,280
Crushed to death by her own spoils.
387
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:40,160
Now, please, ladies,
I really need everyone....
388
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,760
She was a kleptomaniac, it seems.
389
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,040
Eh?
390
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,880
Isn't that like a thief
who's not a thief?
391
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,240
Kleptomania is the inability
to resist the urge to steal items,
392
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,480
usually for reasons other than
personal use or financial gain.
393
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,760
She got stuff from all over
the village, by the looks of things.
394
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,200
- Crushed, you say?
- Mmm...
395
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,920
Right there.
396
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,360
God, what a way to go.
397
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,440
Seen quite a few things
from the charity shop.
398
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,880
Right, please, madam,
both of you will have to leave now.
399
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,160
I recognise that sun dial.
That's from the park.
400
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,680
Yes, yes, out you go, please.
401
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,720
Nothing too large or too small,
it seems.
402
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,960
Oh, look, there.
403
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,120
Those curling tongs!
They're ours, aren't they?
404
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:24,760
Yes, they are. She must have taken
them when she came in the shop.
405
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,160
God, she was quick and crafty,
all right.
406
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,760
- Blimey!
- Best not to touch anything yet.
407
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,720
Oh, right. Yeah.
408
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,960
CLATTERING, SMASHING
409
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,800
LOUD SNEEZE
410
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,760
I'm allergic to dogs.
411
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,440
That's me gone.
412
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:52,760
Where's...?
413
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,680
News Flash?
That's what we call Wincey.
414
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:59,160
She'll be off now. It'll be
all over the village in a trice.
415
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,160
I don't know
if this is the right time,
416
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,280
but can you book me in
for 10.00 tomorrow?
417
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,080
- You got that, Clary?
- Yeah, I will do.
418
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,160
Bye, all. So, so sad.
419
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,560
LOUD SNEEZE
420
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,000
Lily, she's all on her own.
421
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,640
What's going to happen to her now?
422
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,200
- She'll be put in a pound over night.
- Oh, the poor little thing.
423
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,640
Clary, get her food and some tins.
We'll take her overnight.
424
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,560
Oh, I'm not sure the protocol...
425
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,200
Yeah... Yeah...
426
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,400
I'll just....
I'll just make a note of it.
427
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,560
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
428
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:40,440
There might be more to this
than meets the eye?
429
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,840
Can't think on an empty stomach.
430
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,920
Let's settle the dog
and then I'll treat you to a meal.
431
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,840
- WINCEY:
- What I'm hearing is that she was one of those klepto-thingys...
432
00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:59,680
Not actually eaten here before.
433
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:01,400
- Cheers, mate.
- Hail! - Hail!
434
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,720
- Hail.
- Now I come to think of it,
435
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,680
I were always a box of wooden forks
down when she'd been by.
436
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,400
Yeah, it's like everything
she'd stolen just turned on her.
437
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:14,040
- Pru.
- Does anyone know any more? No. Well, listen to this.
438
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,200
Apparently, she stormed out
of the charity shop earlier.
439
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,720
She stormed in and out of here.
440
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,480
Dobbie from charity shop were in
buying everyone a chippy tea
441
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,560
to cheer 'em up. I mean,
it's been chaos down there today.
442
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,040
Oh, aye, yeah - the incident
with That Terry's tea cup. Yeah.
443
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,080
Hey, hey, listen, go on about Pru,
444
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,760
because this might have been
her last sighting.
445
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,480
Dobbie saw Pru sidling
into the front of the queue,
446
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,600
but Dobbie said something to her.
447
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:43,360
- What was it?
- "I saw you," I think she said.
448
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,560
She didn't half leg it.
449
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,400
She stormed out of our shop too.
450
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,200
You're her, aren't you?
451
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,040
You're the new hairdresser,
aren't you?
452
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,840
- CUSTOMERS:
- Ooh! - Yeah. Who's asking?
453
00:22:55,840 --> 00:23:00,320
- It is her, yeah. She's from London.
- Do you do walk-ins?
454
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,400
Everyone welcome.
455
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,680
- Do you mind?
- 25% off!
456
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,600
Here you go, Kev.
457
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,240
Get serving, lad.
458
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,480
That's another one mad for you.
459
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,440
You what?
460
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,000
Look at the size of your chips
compared to mine!
461
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:24,880
And...that young copper
from before, too.
462
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,040
Constable "Uh-huh".
463
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,120
Smitten.
464
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,240
You honestly don't know, do you?
465
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:35,960
Mmm.
466
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,320
These are the best chips in the
known world, though, aren't they?
467
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,200
- So what you thinking, Clary?
- Hmm?
468
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,800
The trajectory looked off to me.
469
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:52,920
- What do you mean?
- The body.
470
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,360
How it had...fallen.
471
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,920
WHISPERS: I used to cut
for the head of CID.
472
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:08,880
And he said,
"Every corpse tells a story."
473
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,400
It didn't look right
for a fall from a height.
474
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,040
The intersections of points
and plane relating to the body's
475
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,760
postulate configurations,
it did not, to me,
476
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,680
indicate a fall from a height.
477
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,400
- Loose ends.
- Loose ends.
478
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,720
- Lily?
- Hmm.
479
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,640
Have you solved crimes before?
480
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,280
LILY CHUCKLES
481
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,840
Let's just say...I used to help
sort things out sometimes.
482
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,040
Hairdressers.
483
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,880
- Charity shop.
- Mmm.
484
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,200
- Chippy.
- Uh-huh.
485
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:50,720
Then...brown bread.
486
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,960
Pru Never Queue,
and everybody knows that.
487
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:59,520
So what was it
that sent her running off like that?
488
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:00,640
Loose ends.
489
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,080
Lopsided. Got to clip it up neat.
490
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,440
Who wanted her...
491
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:08,520
..dead?
492
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:11,520
Half the blinkin' village, it seems.
493
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:14,640
Clary...
494
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,560
..it's murder.
495
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,000
BELL TOLLS
496
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:23,880
So...
497
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:26,640
..what are we after?
498
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,880
Oh, I don't know.
499
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,840
Just a tidy up.
500
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,080
I always have the same.
501
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,760
Well, I think we can improve
on that, don't you, Clary?
502
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,320
- Aye.
- Ooh!
503
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:45,040
So, any more news on Miss Pru?
504
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,480
Only that the police think
it was an accident.
505
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,200
Aye, waiting to happen,
by the looks of things.
506
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:54,000
Still, what a way to go, hey?
507
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,360
You must have been
one of the last people to see her?
508
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:57,920
Aye, I suppose I was.
509
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,400
Shot out of that chippy door
like lightning.
510
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,480
What on earth did you say to her?
511
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,240
Oh, I don't know, really.
512
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,560
Just letting her know
I'd seen her pushing in.
513
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,560
Any news on that cup and saucer,
Dobbie?
514
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,200
No, not hide nor hair.
515
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,200
Where was everyone in the shop?
516
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,560
Well, Lonnie and me was on the till,
517
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,480
but I was mainly in the back room
with the Bad Lads,
518
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:21,360
sorting like billy-oh.
519
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:25,200
They're such good lads those too,
you know.
520
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:26,800
Just got off to a bad start.
521
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,040
I had a neighbour like that once -
Bess.
522
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,920
- Been inside but a diamond.
- Yeah?
523
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:38,240
I'd come home and I'd find her
siting in my front room
524
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:42,160
slurping tea and watching Countdown!
525
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:43,800
She could get in anywhere!
526
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,440
She showed me once too,
when I locked meself out.
527
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:48,800
Oh, yeah?
528
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,960
- Easier than you'd think.
It was like slicing cake. - Right.
529
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,400
You got any idea
what's happened to them, Dobbie?
530
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:55,480
Well...
531
00:26:56,480 --> 00:27:02,320
..biggest mistake, dear, was putting
the box unpacked near the door.
532
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,960
Bess always said,
"Thieves grab what's at hand.
533
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,440
"Put stuff well away."
534
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:12,880
So I checked that painting out
535
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,760
and nobody's heard of the artist,
Dranur, anywhere.
536
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,640
It's totally worthless.
537
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:20,960
So, what happened
to this cup and saucer?
538
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,120
We know it made it
to the charity shop, you,
539
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:26,040
- you dropped it off and
you placed it down by the door. - Mmm.
540
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,200
An inside job?
541
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,720
So, we have Dobbie and Lonnie.
542
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:30,920
Unlikely.
543
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,960
Well, Dobbie, who claims
she was in the back the whole time,
544
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,960
- which seems plausible.
- True.
545
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,040
So the Bad Lads?
I mean, they have records,
546
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,320
and I don't mean K-tel's
greatest hits.
547
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,120
What about Miss Pru?
548
00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:44,440
LILY GASPS
549
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:45,880
She's a kleptomaniac.
550
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,360
And don't forget That Terry.
551
00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:51,120
Yes! He's a ruthless and determined
little beggar by all accounts.
552
00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:56,800
What if Miss Pru took it
and Terry found out?
553
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,920
He could have gone up to hers
to get it back.
554
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,240
And then there's Race Runard,
the antiques dealer.
555
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:05,440
Yes. Now, Val hinted that he and Pru
knew each other in some way.
556
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:10,720
What if his interest in the tea cup
and in Pru somehow smashed together?
557
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:17,040
Oh, dog, if only you could tell us
what happened to Miss Pru.
558
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,200
At the moment, it's only us
that think it could be murder.
559
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,000
So, with all that in mind...
560
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,280
..where's me next loose end
coming from?
561
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,440
Wait! That name.
562
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:36,000
Look at in the mirror backwards.
563
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,600
The artist's signature.
564
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,080
Yes! That there.
565
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,160
Dranur becomes...
566
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:43,720
Runard.
567
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:48,360
- Mmm.
- Yes, so lamentable about the teacup and saucer.
568
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:52,360
I even made a space for it
in the cabinet over there, you see.
569
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:56,520
I don't suppose
we will ever see it again.
570
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,760
By the way, that is me
571
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:03,960
with the Honourable Teacup Society
of Japan.
572
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:09,600
Do you think anyone who was around
knows of its whereabouts?
573
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:10,640
Like whom?
574
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,400
BOTH CHUCKLE
575
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:22,320
I wonder if I might call on you
to appraise an item for me?
576
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,560
Well, of course, indeed you may.
577
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:27,360
Would you know...
578
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,000
- ..if this is worth anything?
- No.
579
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:37,440
No, that's not my field,
I'm afraid, no.
580
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,280
Strange.
581
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,800
Cos I'm a hairdresser, I could read
War and Peace quicker in the mirror
582
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:44,360
than I could the right way round.
583
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,200
And if you look
at the artist's signature there,
584
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,960
if you read that in a mirror...
585
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,640
..it says Runard.
586
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:57,680
Yes.
587
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,640
So, what are you going to do?
588
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:03,120
Oh...
589
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,480
I mean, if it's out, it's out.
590
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,760
Truth be told, I'm glad.
591
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,000
You see, it was a joke.
592
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,880
It's always been my weakness,
I'm afraid.
593
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,800
I've always been
the practical joker.
594
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,920
The pricker of pomposity.
595
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,680
- Just couldn't help it.
- So...
596
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,320
..how did the painting end up
in the hotel?
597
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:30,560
Ah, the owner of the hotel,
a veritable pontificating prig,
598
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:35,440
he reckoned himself to be
a connoisseur of modern art.
599
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:39,080
So, I, I hatched a ruse, you see.
600
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,920
I created paintings with a...
601
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,400
..with a toothbrush
and a kid's paint palette.
602
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,520
I invented an artist.
603
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,760
And, yes, yes, I did give him
a clue, to be fair.
604
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:52,280
I did give him that signature
605
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,960
and then I charged him a shed load
of wonga.
606
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:57,360
Oh, I see.
607
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,120
Well, I mean,
I was going to return it,
608
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:02,960
once his humiliation was complete.
609
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:06,720
- What happened?
- It backfired.
610
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:10,400
That ferreting Miss Pru
discovered that they were fake.
611
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,960
And she told him.
And what did he do?
612
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:17,680
Well, he did not see the funny side.
613
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,200
No, in fact, he went completely mad.
614
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,120
I had to return the money twice over
615
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,360
in order to keep him
from the police.
616
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,480
Because even though I'd made good,
617
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:31,840
in my game, any whiff of fakery
could have ruined me.
618
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:33,160
Mmm.
619
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,840
And Miss Pru?
620
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:36,000
Ah.
621
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:39,120
Well, she blackmailed me,
stalked me, fell for me!
622
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,440
I'm not quite sure
which of those was worse.
623
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,120
So I hated her, yes, I did.
624
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,760
And I must admit I looked to my
beloved blunderbuss more than once.
625
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:51,920
Joke!
626
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,040
Yes. See, there I go again.
627
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,720
So, yes, a sad end, ultimately,
628
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:03,760
but being vanquished by her own swag
629
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,560
does have a sort of poetic justice,
doesn't it?
630
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:10,080
And it's blinking handy.
631
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:16,040
ECHOEY SPEECH: So, this cup and
saucer, turns out it's worth about
632
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:17,520
35 grand.
633
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,760
So we think that
there's a very good reason
634
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,680
why a kleptomaniac such as Miss Pru
635
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,760
might have come to ill
for taking it.
636
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:32,080
Well, I find it all a bit far
fetched, girls, I'm sorry to say.
637
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,400
Pru stole it and then
somebody murdered her for it?
638
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,520
Our investigations point to
nothing of that nature.
639
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:41,200
It was clearly an accident.
640
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:52,080
'Ey, Lil, what keeps you
so young-looking?
641
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:58,000
Oh! What you doing?
642
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,560
The first exercise
in the ancient and secret
643
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,640
Five Tibetans.
644
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:07,000
Oh? What you on about?
645
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,400
Bit mystical.
646
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,080
Once upon a time,
many, many years ago,
647
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,400
I gave a mammoth strim
to a hairy old Shaman-type,
648
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,120
claimed to be 80.
Honestly, looked 45 or less.
649
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,360
- Never?
- He was so pleased, he gave me a tip.
650
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:23,480
"Do this every day." And he passed
me a tatty dog-eared booklet -
651
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,360
- The Fountain of Youth.
- Oh!
652
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,920
So the ancient secret
to the fountain of youth
653
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,640
is spinning round and round?
654
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,160
And you do that
every Saturday night.
655
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,600
Oh, good God! You're going to
live forever.
656
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,320
Hey, watch it, I might.
657
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,720
I touch me toes twice a week
and I bomb around town most days,
658
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,440
and when I can afford it,
I sup an eggnog.
659
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,040
Yes, youth. A core tenant
of maintaining it
660
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,880
is a strong social circle
and a positive mindset.
661
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,760
Well, there you go,
that's hairdressing.
662
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:53,920
Do summat. Save me.
663
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:57,120
Hey, you're going to be
inundated now.
664
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,680
Inundated.
665
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:03,320
Yeah, it's all over the town how you
took 25 years off Val with that cut.
666
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:04,720
Dobbie, too.
667
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:06,640
- Yeah!
- It is all over town.
668
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:08,480
Wonder how that is?
669
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,320
Mmm, well, they say good news
travels fast.
670
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:12,920
Yeah, it does.
671
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:17,360
Good and bad news with you -
the Pony Express.
672
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,720
I don't know
what you're insinuating,
673
00:34:19,720 --> 00:34:21,200
I really don't.
674
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,200
Well, whatever it is,
we're grateful.
675
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,040
THEY SING ALONG TO RECORD
676
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,280
# La, la, la, la, la
677
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:30,880
# Doo, do, do, do, do-oo
678
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:34,560
# Arrrrghhh! #
679
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:35,600
Hey!
680
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,040
You haven't got any Country,
have you?
681
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,400
- What?
- Country and Western.
682
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:45,800
Here she goes. Every second Friday,
she's down the Rose and Crown,
683
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:49,520
plastered, singing
Harper Valley PTA.
684
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,200
Will you shut it, Shirl? I meant
'70s Country and Western.
685
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:54,920
Dolly, Willie, Kenny, Tammy?
686
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,520
Oo! You're talking
my very language there. Hey!
687
00:34:57,520 --> 00:34:59,200
Shall we get you up.
688
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,920
Hey, Lil, this
cup and saucer business,
689
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:04,040
what's it like? Have you seen it?
690
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,040
I've seen a picture.
691
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:11,040
Yeah, so, well, the saucer,
delicate, goldy.
692
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,400
Yeah, it's got all this
gorgeous gold around the rim.
693
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,160
Like that there?
694
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:20,600
It is the very one.
695
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,680
Oh, my God!
696
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,560
How could we not see that?!
697
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:27,000
God o' mercy!
698
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,320
What next?
699
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,080
- They need bringing together.
- The cup and the saucer.
700
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:39,880
Oh, it'll be all over town
in a millisecond.
701
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,040
Wincey, she can't wait.
702
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,960
She's like a town crier
on roller blades.
703
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,160
DISTORTED SPEECH ON PHONE
704
00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:56,280
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
705
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,720
The cup and saucer,
she could have been
706
00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:01,320
killed for them.
707
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,960
All right, listen,
I'll pop by tomorrow, all right.
708
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,120
Will Clary be about, by any chance?
709
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,440
POLICE RADIO BEEPS
710
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,440
Oh, look, I'll have to go.
711
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:09,800
I'll have to go.
712
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,000
He'll be round first thing.
713
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:16,040
So...Pru had them all along.
714
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,760
Someone would stop at nothing.
715
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:22,560
Hey, I'm getting worried for you
all on your own.
716
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,480
Oh, come now.
717
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:25,520
Why?
718
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:27,760
35,000 reasons.
719
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,560
Oh, I am. I'm scared for you
all alone.
720
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:32,720
Well, who knows
who Wincey's told by now
721
00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:35,040
or what the value's
been exaggerated to.
722
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,000
I'm going to call Adam back.
723
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,040
He'll be round first thing
in the morning,
724
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:41,480
and I've stashed the saucer safe.
725
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,080
Well, then I'm staying with you.
726
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,600
No, you are not.
Away with your bother.
727
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,360
Hey, I've seen David Carradine
in all the Kung Foos.
728
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:49,960
- I'd really rather stay.
- No.
729
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,400
- Yes.
- No. - Yes.
730
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:52,960
- Yes.
- No. Away with you!
731
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,000
- I just think...
- You're going to miss the last bus.
732
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,440
Shoo! Or I'll give you a bowl cut!
733
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,240
I will.
734
00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:01,120
You know I'm not lying. Out you go.
735
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,840
No, no, no, no! Excuse me!
736
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:19,920
Oh!
737
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:29,840
Can I give you a lift?
738
00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:02,480
RUSTLING
739
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,040
BANGING
740
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:26,240
Oh!
741
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,400
DOG BARKS
742
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,680
BANGING ON DOOR
743
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:49,880
CLATTER
744
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,760
- You all right?
- Yes. That way.
745
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:55,960
Oh, Lily, I was too worried
about you.
746
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,720
- I had to get him to call in now.
- I'm all right. I'm all right.
747
00:38:58,720 --> 00:39:00,440
Hey, come on.
748
00:39:10,720 --> 00:39:12,800
LOUD SNEEZE
749
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,800
They've vanished without a trace.
750
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,480
Are you sure you're OK?
751
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,840
- I think we'd better get you
checked out. - No.
752
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:31,720
Just shook up, that's all.
753
00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:33,320
Good thing Clary got me to check in.
754
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,160
I was going to leave it
till morning.
755
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,000
Did you get a look at who it was?
756
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,240
Dog and Sir Swivel saved me.
757
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:46,880
CHURCH BELL CHIMES
758
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,880
So, we have...
759
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:01,360
..the fury of That Terry.
760
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:02,720
The blackmail of Race.
761
00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:08,960
That sneeze.
762
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:15,600
- BINGO CALLER:
- We will be playing our yellow cards this afternoon,
763
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:18,520
for our national matinee prize bank.
764
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:22,440
So, get your dobbers at the ready
and get yourselves settled in
765
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:26,600
and we'll be with you
in just a few ticks.
766
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:27,640
Doris Briggs?
767
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:29,960
What?
768
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:35,960
I need to speak to you in relation
to the death of Prudence Snook.
769
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:37,400
I don't understand.
770
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,440
Can you explain this?
771
00:40:42,720 --> 00:40:44,520
It's a bingo dobber.
772
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:47,440
It has your initials on it
and it was found at the crime scene.
773
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,320
That Pru must have stolen it.
774
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:54,320
We had it fingerprint tested and
yours are on it and Pru's weren't.
775
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:57,280
We have your fingerprints on the
police database from the time that
776
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,800
you were convicted of a burglary
in Birmingham a number of years ago.
777
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:01,120
Oh.
778
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,480
We'll be conducting a search
of your house.
779
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,080
I'm so sorry.
780
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,640
So sorry.
781
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:26,280
So here we go! Eyes down looking
for this afternoon's Big One.
782
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:31,200
We are hooked up all around the
world, and the prize is enormous!
783
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:32,800
Glad it's out.
784
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,080
Such a burden it's been.
785
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,000
What happened, Dobbie?
786
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,000
25, duck and dive.
787
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,960
Number 25.
788
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,400
Me lucky dobber dobbed me in, eh?
789
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:48,240
I realised I'd dropped it,
went back for it
790
00:41:48,240 --> 00:41:50,480
but couldn't get to look,
you lot there.
791
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,000
Number 71, seven and one.
792
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,680
71.
793
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:57,600
Hoped for the best, that it would
get rolled in with everything else,
794
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,440
but not to be.
795
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,360
What happened? Why?
796
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:07,240
13. Unlucky for some!
797
00:42:07,240 --> 00:42:08,560
13.
798
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,480
I'm in massive debt
due to bingo addiction.
799
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:16,240
Six and seven. 67.
800
00:42:16,240 --> 00:42:18,800
Here or online, I can't stop!
801
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:20,000
Eight and two..
802
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,800
When I heard the worth of it,
teacup and saucer,
803
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,520
saw that Pru in the chippy,
804
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,720
put two and two together.
805
00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:30,720
I didn't know it was her
that stole it, but
806
00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:35,120
I took a chance and said to her
in the chippy queue, "I saw you."
807
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,360
Then I knew for sure.
808
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:43,040
Got in through the back door,
like Bess taught me.
809
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:44,960
But only the cup were there.
810
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:46,400
I couldn't find the saucer.
811
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,360
Six and four. 64.
812
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,600
If I could have found the saucer,
I'd have been out of there.
813
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,960
Who'd have known
it were full of dog food?!
814
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:57,080
Number 52. Five and two.
815
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:02,480
Then Pru came back unexpectedly,
816
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:05,640
threatened me,
went to call the police.
817
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:07,840
I pushed over one of the piles.
818
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:09,680
It fell down on her.
819
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:13,280
I panicked.
820
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:15,920
Saw a step ladder, put it down,
821
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,720
made it look like an accident.
822
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,480
Fled.
823
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,280
Number 11. Legs 11.
824
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,000
Number four. Knock at the door.
825
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:31,520
Number four.
826
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,840
Seven and eight, 78.
827
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,600
There's �80,000 at stake.
828
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,920
We must be getting close
to a winner now.
829
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:47,400
Number three, on its own,
Cup of tea!
830
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:48,760
Number three.
831
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,960
Three and five, 35.
832
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,880
- Bingo!
- And there we have a winner!
833
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,560
# Get up, everybody, and sing
834
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,760
# We are family... #
835
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:09,280
There he is.
836
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:10,880
Stunning!
837
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:14,440
I'm telling ya -
Juliet Bravo, Cagney and Lacey
838
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:18,240
and every Charlie's Angels
got nothing on you, Lily.
839
00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:22,240
You are a veritable crimper
and crime buster.
840
00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:23,800
Oh, steady on.
841
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:26,920
I wouldn't have got anywhere without
double-o apprentice here!
842
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:28,760
Eh? Come on.
843
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,840
Anyway, Val, go on,
what were you saying?
844
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:39,400
So, That Terry got paid by Race
and even gave me some severance pay!
845
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:41,440
EVERYONE: Ooh!
846
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,240
- Lonnie, are you with me?
- Am I?!
847
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:55,960
# We are family... #
848
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:57,600
Go on, girl, here we go!
849
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:00,480
# I got all my sisters with me
850
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,480
# We are family... #
851
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:05,800
Come on!
852
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:08,360
# Get up, everybody, and sing
853
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:14,000
# We are family
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
854
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,160
# I got all my sisters with me
855
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,280
# We are family
856
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:25,920
# Get up everybody and si-i-i-ing
857
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,640
# We are family! #
858
00:45:28,690 --> 00:45:33,240
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