All language subtitles for And.Now.Love.2019.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.GG - YTS.BZ]

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(inquisitive music playing)

We took off from Goose Bay
at night.

(thunder rumbles)

What we didn't know,
the storm had increased...

in pace,

and we ran smack dab
into the storm.

The chief engineer said,

"We've only got
one hour's worth of gas."

I didn't wanna believe
I was lost.

But the number
was very firm.

20 degrees.

...someone said, "It's there."

They said, "You're white.
Why are you white?"

I didn't have color in my face
for three days.

They never knew how close
we all were to dying.

Life is about survival.

(shouting in German)

...the world will never
be at peace.

Narrator:
As a lead radar navigator,

23-year-old
First Lieutenant Bernard Bail

was lucky enough
to escape death three times,

but he didn't want
to tempt fate.

Allen Weiner:
If we examine his life from
this young man

when he went
into the air force,

that whole experience
ultimately became the bedrock

for his later work
with patients,

because here he went
and had to bomb the fatherland

so he could protect
the motherland.

Narrator:
After suffering
the scourge of war,

Bail set his compass
on a different course.

His next mission, to become
a doctor and psychoanalyst

who would pioneer
a radical new theory

that strikes at the root
of all emotional illness.

Narrator:
Bail became convinced that
all mental anguish

is the unconscious offspring

of the torment
suffered by our mothers

and imprinted onto us
before we were born.

We're all traumatized.

Because we've
received an imprint,

and it split our mind,

and it changed the course
of our personal development.

So people are often
living lives

that have very little to do
with who they really are

and has everything to do
with who their forbearers were.

Narrator: Bail's theory
posits that this imprint

cuts us off from
experiencing pure love

and our true potential.

To identify this damage
suffered in the womb,

Bail uses the dream
as his north star

to navigate
his patient's unconscious

and release them
from their suffering.

Gilbert Kliman:
Dr. Bail impresses me
as a remarkable pioneer.

A rather fearless thinker.

Who speaks his mind

and speaks from the heart

and from immense
clinical experience.

An avant-garde thinker

who did not fear to tread

where Darwin had given up.

So far, hundreds
of thousands of years

have not helped mankind
being kept in the dark.

Now we're being illuminated
with a tremendous truth.

If we make use of it

there will be
a tremendous evolution.

Narrator:
Like all theories,

the path to its conclusion

was fraught with attacks
and challenges.

But to chart the course
of any development,

you have to start
at the beginning.

Woman: So I wanna start
with your mother. (laughs)

Don't you start
with my mother.

Listen, in my part of town,

don't mess with my mother,
you motherfucker.

-(laughs)
-Be careful.

Narrator:
Bernard Bail was born
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,

on November 20th, 1920,

the middle child
of Russian immigrants

Lilian and Abraham Bail.

Bail:
My mother played guitar.

I remember her singing
Mayn Shtetele Belz.

"My Home in Belz,"

and it is very sad.

It's a tribute to a lost time
and a lost place.

I knew I couldn't trust her.

Narrator: Unconsciously
searching for refuge,

though his family
was not religious,

Bail followed
an internal calling

to enroll
in Sunday school

at the local synagogue.

I thought that
was just fabulous.

...sitting on top
of the mountain,

my arms raised, saying,
"O' Manitou..."

God. "O' Manitou..."

It was great.

My aspiration was to get
the hell out of the ghetto.

Narrator: In 1942,
Bail graduated college

with a teaching degree,

but the world was at war,

and he could not turn his back
on serving his country,

so he enlisted
in the U.S. Air Force.

They called me,
and they sidelined me.

They wouldn't let me march

because I was out of step.

So I used to spend my time
watching everybody march.

I thought
that was hilarious.

Apparently, I'm out of step
with everybody.

Narrator: Bernard Bail
was one of five men

chosen to be a lead
radar navigator,

trained to operate the newest
radar technology.

This new radar was so accurate

that even with a layer
of clouds,

Bail could precisely target
where to drop the bombs.

You have to know
all the stars.

Narrator:
On June 5, 1944,

Bernard Bail, along with
his valiant crew,

took to the skies
over a dangerous area

of occupied France

and navigated
his third mission.

Bail: By this time...

Narrator: For his courageous
wartime efforts,

he received the Distinguished
Service Cross,

the French Legion of Honor,

the Purple Heart,

three Distinguished
Flying Crosses,

six battle stars,
and six air medals.

...including my pilot,

who could fly in formation...

...strong, steady...

...and every one of us...

loved each other.

And would give...

his life...

for anyone as they would
give their life for me.

Don't find that anywhere...

in real life.

Narrator: Dedicated to
defeating the tyranny of evil,

Bail would lead his crew

on another
22 successful missions.

By his 25th mission in 1945,

the Germans
had developed a jet

which outpaced
the American planes.

Bail's assignment?
To bomb the jet factory.

Bail:
I remember that day...

I had my usual meal
in the morning,

three pancakes,
eggs in between the pancakes.

Gentlemen, you may expect

considerable
enemy opposition today.

I remembered I'm a Jew.

Can't wear the dog tags.

I tore them off.

Now, remember,

I didn't see the train station
from this vantage point.

But from inside.

This was all
filled with people.

I stood up,
and I saluted him.

(whistle blows)

Flyers,

really doesn't matter
about what side you're on.

You're a flyer,
therefore a comrade.

Narrator: Bernard Bail returned
to the hospital room

where he had been
a prisoner of war

for the first time
in 71 years.

It is now a school dedicated
to combating racism.

I don't even know
what to say.

I-- I can't think
of anything to say.

Down this way. Yeah.

This looks familiar.

I was thinking
I wasn't dead yet.

Is there a door here?

This is the room.

(typewriter typing)

Irmgard:
"I know that I'm not allowed
to give you this,

however it is quiet,
and I would not do anything bad.

You smiled at me,
and I had a deep joy.

And why should I not
tell it to you?

My love of country
is worth many sacrifices,

but you must promise
to destroy the paper,

for it would not be good
for you and for me

if they would be found.

And surely they will look
at your things."

Irmgard:
"Why am I speaking to you?

I wish to show you something
of our real soul.

Women are different
from men.

We remain true
to ourselves,

and, in spite of that,
we are able to give up
ourselves.

I believe that we
really find ourselves
when we have given up."

I told her that I was Jewish.

She said that
didn't matter to her.

I may be a prisoner,
but to be touched by feelings...

Irmgard: "All thoughts
which you don't say,

I know them from you.

All the pains of which
you don't speak,

they weep in me.

You are living within me
with such a great love.

Do you wish
to see yourself?

You must go to the far away
to yourself through my soul.

I believe that love
is something holy,

but that one must not
speak much about it.

One must only feel it."

I suppose she was telling me
she loved me.

Narrator:
The Germans were unable

to stem the force of defeat,

and in May, 1945,
they surrendered,

liberating the American
prisoners of war.

(flute playing)

(bell tolling)

(laughs)

Unbelievable.

It's the chimes.

Unbelievable.

I told you she's here.

She's here.

Narrator:
Bail would later write,

"During the long days
of my captivity,

Irmgard was the talisman
that saved me,

and she continued to save me
long after that.

Through Irmgard,
I slowly came to understand

that spirit sustains
and nourishes us

body and soul."

Even the enemy.

Todd Anton: For Americans,
the first people to be sent home

were our wounded,
but there was not a lot
of mental care

to prepare them
for what they were going to see,

and I've had
a lot of veterans tell me

that the trip home
was far more terrifying

than landing
on Omaha Beach.

...changes a person.

Narrator: Back home,
Bail found a world

both familiar and surreal.

Haunted by the war

and yearning for Irmgard,

he could no longer face
the dreary life

that stood before him.

I was still very jumpy.

When a car backfired,

I remember falling
to the pavement...

We had 16 million GIs

and sailors and marine
and airmen

and Coast Guard men
coming back,

and we didn't know how
to psychologically treat them.

We called it battle fatigue.

That's what I had gone
to college for.

So I went my way.

I listened to nobody.

In the course
of the interview,

he said, "Why do you wanna
be a doctor?

Why don't you
become a rabbi?"

I thought, "It's a good thing
I left my gun home."

I certainly
would have killed him.

I knew he was being
anti-Semitic.

There was a fixed quota,

and it stayed firm
every single year,

and the gentile boys
did not interact at all

with the Jewish boys.

Narrator:
Bail fulfilled his dream
of becoming a doctor

and graduated Temple University
Medical School

in 1952.

He went on to intern
at Mt. Sinai Hospital
in Philadelphia

where he graduated in 1953.

My good friend said, "You ought
to be a psychoanalyst."

I didn't really know
what that meant.

Narrator: Desperate to escape
a dead-end life in Philadelphia,

a stroke of good fortune
gave him an opportunity

to move to California.

(upbeat music playing)

...which I finished in 1956.

My mother didn't like it.

She wanted a...
(laughs)

She wanted to say,
"My son, the doctor,

has an office
on Walnut Street."

I loved it.

It was wild,
it was free, it was open.

Everybody came
from someplace else,

so, metaphorically,
there were no rules.

Something new
could happen here.

Narrator: One evening
at Schwab's restaurant,

something new did happen,

when a chance meeting
fulfilled a desire

he had always held
close to his heart.

When I finished my dinner,

I went over
to say hello to Jim.

I really went over
to meet the girl.

You know, blonde, shapely.

Just my style.

When I do that,
I'm making fun of myself.

Get off your high horse,
Bail.

We started going out,

and we had analysis
in common,

and we said,
"Let's get married."

Perfect.

She happened to be actually
named Carolyn Adams.

We used to joke she was
related to John Adams

coming over
on the Mayflower.

And I would say,

"You ain't got nothin'.

I come from Moses.

Now, that's a lineage."

Narrator:
Bail began his analytic training

at the revered Los Angeles
Psychoanalytic Society
and Institute

in the golden age
of psychoanalysis.

It was a privilege,

because not many people
were accepted.

What I felt good about
is I was being taught knowledge

about the unconscious.

Narrator:
Bail immediately grasped

that the keys
to illuminating a life

were locked in the vast layers
of the unconscious.

As a navigator,

he had trusted the compass,
maps, and stars.

Now, the dream would be
his north star

to find the truth
of a patient's being.

At this time,
Sigmund Freud's ideas

dominated psychoanalysis.

Freud pioneered
the principle

that the unconscious mind
governs our behavior

and that the dream
was the doorway

to discovering our
unconscious motivations.

The interpretation of dreams

really brought dreams
into importance and focus

for Western medicine
and Western psychology.

Uh, certainly dreams
as important or healing

had been around in all kinds
of cultures for much longer.

Some of the ideas like
the unconscious as a motivation

had been there
in Western philosophy,

but Freud was the one

to bring them
into the treatment room

and make them
relevant to therapy.

The whole method of classical
Freudian psychoanalysis

is trying to get
at the Oedipal complex.

The idea
of the Oedipal complex

was that children attach to
their mother first and foremost

as the object
of their libido,

and that, for boys,

gradually they come
to see their father

as this rival that
has the mother's attention.

Freud had people
tell dreams,

and then
he had them free-associate
to elements of the dream.

You start
with a dream figure,

and that reminds you of someone
you knew next door in childhood,

and that reminds you
of a different person
from your childhood,

and pretty soon you're not
at anything that overtly sounds

all that related to the dream
you had last night.

Narrator: Though Freud's theory
reigned supreme,

Bail found it to be inadequate
in his own analysis.

And then
when he began practicing,

he found it not to be very
helpful to his patients.

Narrator:
Eager to explore a new method
to help patients,

Bail and his colleagues
began to read the work

of Melanie Klein,
a Viennese psychoanalyst

who, unlike Freud, explored
the uncharted territory

of an infant's mind.

Mrs. Klein began to feel

that you could
analyze children,

which was something
that was antithetical

to the idea that analysis
was about the Oedipus complex.

Narrator:
In the 1960s, several
of the British psychoanalysts

were invited
to the Los Angeles institute

to teach Klein's theories.

One of the more
esteemed analysts
was Wilfred Bion,

who had been
in training analysis

with Melanie Klein.

Narrator: Wilfred Bion was best
known for his psychoanalysis

of patients
in psychotic states

and understanding the nature
of group dynamics.

Bail took on the challenge
of inviting Bion to California

and became his first
Los Angeles patient

and remained one
for the next 12 years.

Klein's ideas began to take
root at the institute.

These ideas would spark
an intellectual firestorm

questioning the very foundation
of American psychoanalysis.

Douglas Kirsner:
The Los Angeles situation
was very complex.

There is the very exciting
climate there,

and a climate with
a lot of rewards,

both professional
and financial.

Marilyn Monroe's therapist
Ralph Greenson

was absolute center of
psychoanalysis in Los Angeles,

and he dealt all the cards,
he had all the money.

He had rich patients,
super rich patients.

He was aligned with this--
his colleague Milton Wexler,

who was a shrink to the stars.

They gave out
so many referrals.

They were the go-to people
for good referrals.

Ralph Greenson
felt that Kleinians

were destroying
psychoanalysis.

He had said
a number of times

that he would wanna--
he'd kill the Kleinians.

You could hear them say,
"Kill the Kleinians!

Kill the Kleinians."

It made my blood turn cold.

In 1973,

the American
Psychoanalytic Association

did a routine site visit
to the Los Angeles institute,

and what they found
was this kind of dissension

and these new ideas
being taught,

and they were not
happy about it.

The American was going through
a crisis of paranoia,

and it frightened
the candidates.

Your analysis may not
be acceptable.

Only if it's traditional
American psychoanalysis.

I asked the chairman
of the committee,

"Define that for me.

I don't know what that is."

It was a ploy.

They were on some kind
of witch hunt, really,

to close down the institute.

And they never defined
what on earth

these standards were.

What they meant,
it would appear,

was Freudian analysis.

They asked the Southern
California institute

to give them a list
of analysts who were Kleinian.

Was a bit McCarthyite.

And the Southern California
institute

responded by saying that they
only had a list of analysts

and here it was,

and they didn't have Kleinians
or Freudians or whatever.

Bail: So somehow
out of all this turmoil

the dean picked me to remove
from my post of teaching.

That I was corrupting
the young.

That's the words they used.

I thought, "Thank you."

They put me and Socrates
in the same boat.

Thank you very much.

It was hilarious,
except it wasn't.

It was dead serious.

I never said
I was a Kleinian.

I never was.

But I'm for free speech.

Free mind.

To believe what I want.

My friend of many years
called me one night and said,

"They're out to get you."

He was at a meeting.

They talked about
getting rid of me.

He said, "I'm sorry,
I can't talk to you.

If I associate with you,

I won't be sent patients.

Bye-bye."

They felt themselves
totally entitled.

They felt as though
they didn't have any boundaries.

Whatever they said was the way
psychoanalysis should be.

Dr. Bail, having faced death
in the war,

had a great deal of courage,

and he wasn't going to take
this kind of...

what he felt was oppression.

Bail was seen
as very formidable.

He was seen
as very militant.

Bail:
I consulted a lawyer.

The lawyer said,
"Since they removed you
without due process,

we'll sue the hell
out of them.

The institute, the American,
and the international."

I had them,
and they knew it.

A judge was actually
brought in

to talk to this issue
with the Los Angeles institute,

and he told them that they
could not restrict

what was being taught
by the training analysts

unless they made themselves
a private club,

because they were
a public institution.

The American
deplorably denied

that they had ever
made this recommendation.

Narrator: In 1977,

at the International
Psychoanalytic Conference
Meeting in Jerusalem,

it was determined that
the matter was settled.

Dr. Bail became a kind of
persona non grata

at the institute.

Never mind that in '63

I gave the institute
three quarters of a million dollars

because a dying patient
I undertook to analyze
was grateful.

Nobody had ever
done that before.

Most analysts at that time

would not analyze
a dying patient.

Dr. Bail had the courage to go
deeply with her into death.

Who should get the best help
if not the dying?

Narrator:
Because of Bail's courage,

analyzing a dying patient

is now an accepted practice
in psychoanalysis.

Kirsner: The threatened lawsuit
was very important,

because part of this was
a right to free speech.

Because if it could happen
with Kleinians in LA,

then couldn't it happen
in other places?

But this was the good--

the good part of this story,

because it freed him,
I believe,

from being part of the group

so that he could discover
new things.

That navigational experience

was central in navigating
his way through

the institute,
which was hostile

and tried
to gun him down,

just like Germany
tried to gun him down,

and he prevailed,
and he kept flying,

until he became clear in his,
you know, his work

to bring something new
to mankind.

Narrator: Devastated
by the betrayal of his peers

and the demise
of his marriage,

Bail realized that after
12 years with Dr. Bion,

his own analysis had failed.

I felt that
he already intuited

that psychoanalysis
with a Freudian paradigm

had come to the limits
of its efficacy.

Dr. Bail says that Bion
taught him how to think.

Narrator:
In 1979, Wilfred Bion
returned to England,

and shortly afterwards
passed away.

Losing his beloved mentor

and disillusioned about
the work he had dedicated
his life to,

Bail would now have
to navigate his own darkness.

...and gave me
the room internally

to pursue the next phase
in my life.

Narrator:
In 1985, divorced and wondering
about the course of his life,

Bail attended
the International

Psychoanalytic
Association Conference

in Hamburg, Germany.

Knowing this
was Irmgard's city,

he mounted a search
to find her.

He hoped to find the love
that had been his savior

so many years ago,

but in the heat of war,

he had never learned
Irmgard's last name.

Narrator: He contacted
another former nurse,

praying for a clue
to Irmgard's location,

but she was unwilling
to meet with him.

Irmgard: Do you wish
to see yourself?

You must go to the far away
to yourself from my soul.

Narrator:
Wandering the streets,

reading and rereading
Irmgard's letters,

he searched for her
in every woman's face.

Then, a package arrived
at his hotel.

Narrator: The love he had hoped
to recapture was gone.

Heartbroken, Bernard Bail
returned to Los Angeles

and immersed himself
in his work.

Determined
to fulfill his mission,

to find the key that would
unlock the torments

of a person's soul.

Bail:
Do you wish to see yourself?

You must go to the far away
to yourself through my soul.

That's what analysis is.

Dr. Bail
was really on his own.

And he decided to just listen
to the dreams of his patients

without any theory.

Narrator:
No analyst was thinking

the way Bail was
beginning to think.

And though he was
in the depths of darkness,

he was beginning to see
in the dark.

None of the other
therapies have a beginning,

and, in science,
there's gotta be a beginning

to truly follow
a development.

Narrator:
For the next ten years,

Bail captured
his patient's dreams,

listening, interpreting,

chipping away
at their suffering

like a Michelangelo
of the soul.

Dream by dream, like a compass
needle finding north,

they all began to point
in the same direction.

Woman: I was really,
in my mother's life,

to be the mother
she never had.

Man: My mother was a pretty
unhappy person.

Woman: My sister and my father
were as hateful to me...

Man: My mother was not really
present in many ways

when I was a child.

Man: My mother put up
with terrible beatings.

At one point, he broke--
he broke her arm.

Narrator: Every interpretation
he made pointed to the mother.

Every complaint
was about the mother.

In every dream, patients talked
about pleasing their mothers,

understanding their mothers,
saving their mothers.

But why the mother?

And where did it all begin?

Konrad Lorenz, a Nobel-Prize
winning ethologist,

discovered that birds
and other species

are imprinted during important
developmental stages.

He found that newborns

bond to the first
moving object they see,

and take on
their characteristics.

...unbeknownst
to the young.

Narrator:
Unbeknownst to the young.
Unconscious.

But what was it that a mother
passed down to her baby?

To confirm his findings,
Bail recorded his own dreams

and saw the same patterns
emerge.

And then he received a key
piece of information.

He had a patient
who delivered a baby,

and she was having a very hard
time with this newborn.

And she brought the baby
to his office.

The baby was crying and crying

and when he made an
interpretation to the mother

based on her dream,

the baby quieted down.

And he realized at that point
that speaking to the mother

was speaking to the baby.

I would say, according
to my research,

all the important events
happen in infancy.

There's no such thing
as adult psychoanalysis

because all of our analysis

deals with the traumas
of infancy and childhood.

In order for us to really
understand a human being,

we have to start
in the womb.

Bail:
Imprints are very simple.

Things like: You are not
to succeed in life.

You are not to be happy.

You are to kill yourself.

You are not to be rich.

You cannot free yourself

unless you know

or have an idea
about your imprint,

because it has tentacles
everywhere.

Narrator:
Bail's theory goes
all the way back

to preconception
and fetal life.

In over 60 years
of clinical work,

he discovered that every
fetus is imprinted

with its mother's unconscious,
unbearably painful feelings.

Everything that a mother
experiences while she's pregnant

impacts the fetus.
Everything.

A lot of times
people wanna just assume
it's-- it's blissful,

or the fetus doesn't
know anything.

But a fetus knows feeling.

In fact, it's all feeling.

There have been many studies
that have looked at

if the pregnancy is wanted
or not wanted

or if there's a state
of anxiety in Mom,

and there absolutely
is an associated risk

for that developing baby
to then

have higher risk of affective
disorders,

neuropsychiatric disease,
throughout its life.

We now know there are

forms of genetic transmission

which are called epigenetic.

Tracy Bale:
Epigenetics at its most basic

really just means aspects
that affect gene expression

that are not changes
in the DNA sequence.

Things in the environment
can influence how genes
can be expressed

by placing really biochemical
markers on the DNA,

and that changes how that gene
might be expressed.

So some epigenetic marks
can increase the expression
of a gene,

and those can be inherited,

and some epigenetic marks will
actually repress or decrease

and those also
can be inherited.

So a woman is exposed
to trauma

or infection or famine,

for instance,
dietary challenge.

These sorts of stressors
in the environment

can influence the germ cells,
and these may be lasting.

Then it becomes
transgenerational.

So it can be passed
from grandparent

down to grandchild,
and so on.

My grandmother had learned

many years earlier

that fifteen members of her
little village in Russia

had been exterminated.

What my grandmother went through
still affected me

two generations later.

Psychologically,
I know that my grandmother

was terribly
and unreasonably

afraid that I would die.

So if people want to think
that the next generation
isn't going to feel

what we're all doing today,
they're just wrong.

Every baby born...

feels it all.

I'm now in the midst
of a project for

Native American
preschoolers,

and I'm pretty well convinced

that they're reacting
to the massacres,

which occurred
hundreds of years ago,

but have been imprinted
in the psychological

if not the genetic memories

of their forbearers.

Mothers do more than
turn genes off or on.

They tell you what kind of life
you will have.

Loren Weiner:
We're talking about
the unconscious world.

So this is beyond what most
people are really perceiving

is happening.

That in this unconscious world,

everyone is carrying around

the imprint they received
from their mothers.

See, this has been going on
for millennia.

So we've got mother after mother

passing down all of this
information

She doesn't know
she's passing down.

All of this unwanted material.

All of these things
that are so hard to feel.

"I don't feel good enough,
I don't feel loved."

But now that baby, that fetus,
took in the same feeling.

Loren Weiner:
Even in the nicest
of environments,

you will still have this
going on,

and the reason it's so important
is that it is the root

of all psychopathology.

And really, of all pathology,
physical and mental.

Allen Weiner:
The baby, in the beginning,

is really kind of
an energetic essence

that is very loose
and very free.

It is very vulnerable
to turbulence.

Now, the imprint,
which is unconscious,

when it is driven into
that bubble of energy,

damage is done.

Profound damage to that
energetic field is done.

So for survival's sake,
a fetus will say,

"I will take all of this
burden for you.

I will relieve you, Mom.

Therefore you will do better

and you'll guarantee
that I live."

But now we've got a fetus
that doesn't have access

to all of itself.

So it will split off
this toxic material

from the mother.

Once it's walled off,

the fetus does everything it can
to not touch it again.

Narrator: For the fetus,
walling off the pain meant
walling off feelings,

leaving the child powerless.

From this weakened place,

all the power rests
with the parents,

especially the mother.

This is why this work
is very difficult.

Because people feel threatened
that they will return

to a time
of excruciating pain

about which
they can do nothing.

MAN: My father comes home
from his office Christmas
party drunk,

brandishing a loaded pistol...

...saying to my mother,
"I'm gonna kill you.

But first I wanna kill your--
your mother."

He went looking
for my grandmother.

She hid from him in a closet.

That was the kind of thing

that happened frequently
in our house--

violence,
threats of murder.

Loren Weiner:
Our adult lives are actually

replicating our experiences
in the womb.

And after a while,
you'll start to hear that

the complaints sound
like that of a baby.

My girlfriend didn't
do this for me.

My boyfriend
didn't do that for me.

I didn't get taken care of.

I didn't get loved
the right way.

Dana Gardiner:
My past relationships
had all been destroyed

pretty much by my own
philandering that I did.

But it really wasn't until

I got to experience
Doctor Bail's philosophy

that, uh,

that allowed me
to see that...

the very need for contact

that had kept me from loving,

was, in a sense,

exactly the same need
within my mother

that led her

to seduce a little
five-year-old boy.

What we see is that a fetus
is not only trying to save
the mother,

it's really saying,
"I'm going to become you."

Cheryl Pappas:
My mother's health was varying,

and I was always saving her
from death, I thought.

I simply mirrored my mother's...

condition.

I fought for her.

I had no other purpose in life.

I knew my mother's life.
I didn't know mine.

But I knew hers.

The imprint,
since it's unconscious,

can best be seen
in the physical world

by the idea
of a marionette.

Whereas the strings that go
to the appendages

really go to the mother's
unconscious,

and therefore the mother's
unconscious

controls the freedom
of the baby.

Death at an early age
was the script the imprint
had for me.

If I had not gone
into analysis,

I would have been dead
by the age of 30.

Someone comes in in pain,

because, "I hate being,"
let's say, an attorney.

"I wanna be an artist.

Well, but I can't,
because internally
I don't feel right

if I make the move
to be an artist."

Well, you've got to help
them understand

that's not you,

that's you really up against
a mother who wants you to be
an attorney.

My son, the attorney.

So psychoanalysis,
really in the main,

is identifying these strings
and cutting them

by making you conscious.

Bail:
The goal of analysis

is not surmounting
the Oedipal complex,

it's really knowing
what your imprint is

and getting all the trash
from your mind

out of your mind.

Loren Weiner:
The dream is the vehicle
you'd use

to do the entire treatment.

It tells you what happened
in your life,

because everybody has
an unconscious.

So the unconscious
is recording everything.

Everything.

Everything you've
ever been through,

felt, seen, learned.

And if we can correctly
understand that dream,

it relieves the mind
and it lets the person grow.

Narrator:
Unlike Freud, Bail's method
deciphers the dream

listening for
the mother's story.

Uncovering the associations
in the dream

that will reveal
the mother's imprint.

My mother was holding
this monkey.

And the monkey is sitting
there screaming

and I'm kind of
watching it.

Now, you know,

how are you gonna interpret
that dream?

I was the little
screaming baby

that was trying to reach her

and couldn't

because she wasn't comforting
the baby at all,

she was just holding
this little monkey.

And by seeing myself
in the monkey,

I came to recognize that

on the very deepest level,

that there were
a lot of feelings

of abandonment

and a lack of connection
to my mother

that I was carrying
throughout my life.

Dr. Bail's theory

really goes where
Freud stopped.

He continues,
and he's really saying,

"Look, we can't just
understand dreams
as wish fulfillment.

We have to go further."

It's not about sleeping
with my mother.

It's about understanding
which parts of my mother

I wanna give up

and which parts of my mother
are unconsciously

operating in the background,

which I can discover
and then put aside

and find my own self.

If you don't
get the imprint,

you don't fight against
your imprint,

it's like mowing weeds.

You think you've got them,
but you haven't got them.

You've got to go and pluck
every single weed out.

Nobody knows what
they're fighting.

And because they don't know
what they're fighting,

they'll lose the battle,

as they have for the past
100,000 years.

I was both the doctor
and the patient in this dream.

There was a, um,

figure on a gurney
in an emergency room

which I was looking at,

but I felt that I was
the figure as well.

I had a pelvis and a head,
but nothing else.

And Dr. Bail interpreted that,
I think correctly,

as meaning that the way
I was living,

I was-- my intellectual side
was alive

and I had a lot
of sexual feeling,

but no-- no heart.

No, uh, capacity for...
for love.

(sobbing)

And, uh,

that has come only
with time

and with treatment
with him.

Loren Weiner:
Little by little, each dream

that removes
a piece of toxin

that isn't the person,

you're getting back to the
essential nature of yourself.

You're getting back
to your full potential.

I kept looking for women
who were like my mother.

And my mother hated me.

And I married them, uh,
three times in succession.

Loren Weiner:
You have to say at some point,

"Imprint, thank you.
You saved me, I thought.

But it's so time
to let you go."

Maybe down the line
when people are more accustomed
to this idea, right?

When little kids grow up
just knowing, "Oh, you know,
I got an imprint.

I'm gonna have to work on this,
because I'm not really
a bad kid.

I got loaded down with a bunch
of junk that isn't me."

(tango music playing)

The woman is the main act,
and that's how it should be.

The great sorrow
that women have endured,

and the abuse
women have endured,

the "no place at the table"
that women have endured,

and men are jealous of women,
ultimately,

because women can do
the one thing no man can do.

They can't produce a baby.

This creates the situation

that makes the imprint

so debilitating.

Is that there's centuries
and centuries

of female oppression
that gets passed

to every baby that's born.

The masculine forces really run
things for far too long.

It, you know,
has great intellect,

but it really doesn't
have the sensitivity,

the feeling, that's feminine.

These are forces that are
contained within each person.

And the optimal state
is that a person has them
in balance.

Balance, love,

is the only thing that works.

And women must have
a place at the table

if there's to be peace.

(tango music playing)

But if you're not sexual,

then you're not really alive.

Life is sex, sex is life.

It's that simple.
That's how life should be:
simple.

Yes.

(thunder rumbles)

I never expected, uh,

to get in touch with
the spiritual side of myself.

Indeed, the deeper one gets
into oneself,

the more spiritual
one becomes.

Judith Parker:
Dr. Bail says once you
clean up the unconscious

from all the detritus
of past generations,

the angels come,

and I have seen the angels
in dreams.

We are supposed
to be in contact,
through our unconscious,

with the Divine.

That is pure love.

So when a baby's mind
is split,

and part of its connection
to the Divine is cut off,

it's now got less connection
to pure love.

They have choices

where they couldn't
see before.

So it's a new world.

They see with different eyes.

Sharon Weiner:
I had been in other therapy
for a few years,

and it wasn't going anywhere
and I started feeling worse,

and I'm an artist and it was--
it's very easy to sort of

watch the progression
with my artwork

and, um, the work became

more and more minimal--
in a bad way.

Dr. Bail has helped me
with all of that because it's--

with my imprint,
it was to be not visible,

and things just started
to change dramatically.

Before Dr. Bail, I was a person
that had difficulty loving.

I think the issue for me
and my own errors,

uh, philandering
within relationships,

has to do with the feeling
of wanting desperately

to be seen.

I think Dr. Bail
takes that deeper.

Then it's about the feelings
that you felt,

either as a very young child

or as a fetus
within your mother,

uh, and it's those feelings

that--
that you have to feel

as opposed to intellectually

try to understand.

I was a very cold person.

All I cared about was
money, power for myself,

uh, I looked upon others
as people to use
for my own benefit.

And, um,

that's something that
I never would have known

had it not been for my
treatment with Dr. Bail.

It's the only means I know
of really, uh,

addressing unhappiness

and effecting
personality change.

Uh, you won't get in from drugs,

you won't get it from any other
kind of talking therapy.

The truth is the light.

And the truth
is so relieving.

Ah! It's like taking
a deep breath...

and actually not having
to work so hard.

When you are living a lie,
it takes so much work.

Narrator:
At 96,

Bernard Bail
has found his balance.

And the love he's been searching
for since Irmgard.

Group:
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ And many more... ♪

Woman:
Yay!

(clapping)

(laughter)

I have been

deeply in love
with this man for

two years.

This is the first time
I have ever allowed myself

to be held.

Most people fall in love
at a much younger age.

But I recognize

that I-- I can't do anything
but love him.

He tells me he's going to live
another 100 years.

Here at the end of his life,

he says...

I'm just his gift
from God.

He's my gift.

Narrator:
Today, Bernard Bail still
practices the work he loves.

And continues to share his
theory at conferences worldwide.

He wrote and published
The Mother's Signature,

and in-depth accounting of his
theory of the mother's imprint,

a memoir, Irmgard's Flute,

and hundreds of essays
exploring his theory,

dreams, and prenatal
and infant mental life.

His greatest wish is that
everyone has access

to the information
in his discovery

and takes it
into their hearts,

knowing that it's the key
to unlocking

the love in themselves
and the planet,

one person,
one dream at a time.

So, I think
the time is right.

I think one day people
will look back

and really realize
the implications of this.

That if this can be understood
and things can change,

everything can change.

And everything
can get better.

And everybody can have love.

♪ Head in the clouds ♪

♪ You circle high ♪

♪ Here under roots ♪

♪ I watch you fly ♪

♪ And as if in a balloon ♪

♪ My heart floats to you ♪

♪ My heart floats to you ♪

♪ With body bound ♪

♪ In gravity ♪

♪ This weightless love ♪

♪ Breaks free ♪

♪ So as if in a balloon ♪

♪ My heart floats to you ♪

♪ My heart floats...♪

♪ I'll send you all I got ♪

♪ Pop it when you want ♪

♪ Untie the bottom knot ♪

♪ Just don't let it drop ♪

♪ And hold it to your chest ♪

♪ Let it be your jets ♪

♪ And far beyond our heads ♪

♪ Let's propel each other up ♪

♪ Your mind's too young ♪

♪ And mine not old enough ♪

♪ Without a common language
to speak with ♪

♪ We've built a wall ♪

♪ But as if in a balloon ♪

♪ My heart floats with you ♪

♪ My heart floats with you ♪

♪ My heart floats with you ♪

♪ I'm sending you all I have ♪

♪ I'm sending you
all I have to give ♪

♪ Maybe someday wings
will burst out my back ♪

♪ And I'll float with you ♪

♪ I'll send you all I got ♪

♪ Pop it when you want ♪

♪ Untie the bottom knot ♪

♪ Just don't let it drop ♪

♪ And hold it to your chest ♪

♪ Let it be your jets ♪

♪ And far beyond our heads ♪

♪ Let's propel each other up ♪

Captioned by
Post Haste Digital