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00:00:06,075 --> 00:00:07,352
[SAFETY ANNOUNCEMENT]:
Ladies and gentlemen
2
00:00:07,386 --> 00:00:09,009
I'd like to direct
your attention
3
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,389
to the screen in front of you.
4
00:00:10,424 --> 00:00:13,599
We'll be showing
a brief safety demonstration.
5
00:00:13,634 --> 00:00:16,016
While boarding the flight,
please keep the aisle clear
6
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:18,190
and find your designated seat.
7
00:00:18,225 --> 00:00:19,709
In the event of a water landing
8
00:00:19,743 --> 00:00:23,230
Chloe Bridges' lips can be used
as a flotation device.
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00:00:23,264 --> 00:00:25,956
Please enjoy
one complimentary drink.
10
00:00:25,991 --> 00:00:28,649
[ANNOUNCER SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
11
00:00:28,683 --> 00:00:31,686
Please stow your carry-on in one
of the overhead compartments.
12
00:00:31,721 --> 00:00:34,310
If you need to flee the aircraft
beware of sharp objects
13
00:00:34,344 --> 00:00:36,760
as they can puncture
the evacuation slide.
14
00:00:36,795 --> 00:00:38,659
We ask that all seat backs
and titty tassels
15
00:00:38,693 --> 00:00:40,937
are in their full
upright position.
16
00:00:40,971 --> 00:00:42,214
If you have to smoke
17
00:00:42,249 --> 00:00:43,560
please disable the lavatory
smoke detector
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00:00:43,595 --> 00:00:45,804
so as not to wake
the other passengers.
19
00:00:45,838 --> 00:00:47,909
The flight attendants
will now demonstrate
20
00:00:47,944 --> 00:00:49,532
proper safety procedures.
21
00:00:49,566 --> 00:00:51,913
Pull the cord
to inflate the safety chest.
22
00:00:51,948 --> 00:00:55,158
As a reminder, racial profiling
is strictly tolerated.
23
00:00:55,193 --> 00:00:57,885
Please report
any suspicious ethnicity.
24
00:00:57,919 --> 00:00:59,438
If you do not have
a selfie stick,
25
00:00:59,473 --> 00:01:01,716
one will be provided for you.
26
00:01:01,751 --> 00:01:03,994
Please keep your seat belts
fastened at all times
27
00:01:04,029 --> 00:01:07,032
as we may experience
unexpected flatulence.
28
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,931
As a reminder, there is no
crying allowed on this flight.
29
00:01:09,966 --> 00:01:11,864
Please silence your baby
at this time
30
00:01:11,899 --> 00:01:15,178
or it will be checked
to your final destination.
31
00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:20,804
Thank you for choosing Koalair.
32
00:01:20,839 --> 00:01:23,117
"Koal-ity" you can trust.
33
00:01:23,152 --> 00:01:25,775
At this time, your portable
electronic devices
34
00:01:25,809 --> 00:01:28,398
must be set to airplane mode.
35
00:01:44,725 --> 00:01:46,485
[ARIEL]: You're on
the other side of the world.
36
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,418
How can we possibly
make this work?
37
00:01:48,453 --> 00:01:49,730
Let's just make things simple.
38
00:01:49,764 --> 00:01:51,594
Like when we first met
on Chatroullette.
39
00:01:51,628 --> 00:01:52,836
When we first connected
40
00:01:52,871 --> 00:01:54,700
fell in love
and the sparks flew.
41
00:01:54,735 --> 00:01:57,565
When I asked you those deep,
personal questions, like, uh...
42
00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:01,051
What were those? Oh, yeah.
Age, sex, location?
43
00:02:01,086 --> 00:02:04,538
Hey, Logan, I'm ready
to take this to the next level.
44
00:02:07,299 --> 00:02:08,783
[LOGAN]:
Oh, yes. Here we go.
45
00:02:12,201 --> 00:02:13,443
Come on, old friend.
46
00:02:13,478 --> 00:02:15,376
Who are you talking to?
47
00:02:15,411 --> 00:02:17,171
Just a second. Freshening up.
48
00:02:20,657 --> 00:02:24,316
OK. OK, babe. Now these
are for your eyes only.
49
00:02:24,351 --> 00:02:27,319
Yeah, don't worry, babe.
It's just me.
50
00:02:27,802 --> 00:02:28,838
[BIRD CAWS]
51
00:02:31,703 --> 00:02:33,394
[ANGELS SING]
- Do you have any almond milk?
52
00:02:33,429 --> 00:02:35,155
[LOGAN SCREAMS]
- [ARIEL SHRIEKS]
53
00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:37,087
Oh... you're jerking off.
54
00:02:37,122 --> 00:02:38,503
[LOGAN]:
Come on, man!
55
00:02:38,537 --> 00:02:40,712
Shouldn't just burst into
people's rooms like that.
56
00:02:40,746 --> 00:02:42,576
And you shouldn't be jerking off
in the middle of the day
57
00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:45,268
with your door unlocked
and all your friends downstairs!
58
00:02:45,303 --> 00:02:47,857
Now, do you have almond milk
or not?
59
00:02:47,891 --> 00:02:49,099
Come on, man.
60
00:02:49,134 --> 00:02:50,549
It's next to my socks,
you know that.
61
00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:52,310
[JUANPA]:
Yo, we're drinking up!
62
00:02:52,793 --> 00:02:53,759
Gracias.
63
00:02:55,416 --> 00:02:56,900
Sorry about that, babe.
64
00:02:58,557 --> 00:02:59,489
OK.
65
00:03:00,283 --> 00:03:01,457
Who was that?
66
00:03:01,491 --> 00:03:04,080
Um, that would be Juanpa.
67
00:03:04,114 --> 00:03:05,426
My foreign exchange brother
68
00:03:05,461 --> 00:03:07,808
who's overstayed his welcome
by a decade!
69
00:03:07,842 --> 00:03:10,293
What about your real brother,
Jake?
70
00:03:10,328 --> 00:03:12,433
[LOGAN SCOFFS]
Disney got him.
71
00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:13,641
OK.
72
00:03:14,815 --> 00:03:16,955
The moment's ruined, babe,
don't you think?
73
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,646
No, no, no, babe, um, just...
OK.
74
00:03:18,681 --> 00:03:20,130
How 'bout this?
Take a deep breath.
75
00:03:20,165 --> 00:03:21,684
[HE INHALES]
76
00:03:21,718 --> 00:03:23,410
OK. Close your eyes,
close your eyes.
77
00:03:23,444 --> 00:03:24,928
That's right. OK, now...
78
00:03:25,722 --> 00:03:27,655
Imagine our second date,
remember?
79
00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:29,692
All the sexy shit
I was typing to you?
80
00:03:29,726 --> 00:03:33,005
I sent you that sexy picture
with the pineapple over my penis
81
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,352
and I blamed it on autocorrect.
82
00:03:34,386 --> 00:03:36,699
[ARIEL]: Yeah.
- It wasn't autocorrect.
83
00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:39,978
I sent it.
- OK, OK. My turn.
84
00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:41,807
Imagine we're together...
85
00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:44,120
alone...
86
00:03:44,154 --> 00:03:46,536
I'm standing right next to you.
87
00:03:46,571 --> 00:03:49,229
You can feel my body on yours.
88
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,369
And I whisper in your ear...
89
00:03:51,403 --> 00:03:53,129
Smile! You're on camera!
- Ah!
90
00:03:53,163 --> 00:03:55,269
Lele, what the actual fuck!
91
00:03:55,304 --> 00:03:57,237
Aah! This is gonna be
the best video ever!
92
00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:58,514
Delete that now!
- No!
93
00:03:58,548 --> 00:04:00,240
It's gonna get a million likes!
94
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:01,620
It's not all about likes,
you know.
95
00:04:02,552 --> 00:04:04,105
What are you, fucking stupid?
96
00:04:04,140 --> 00:04:06,384
Logan!
[LELE GROANS]
97
00:04:09,145 --> 00:04:11,423
[LOGAN CRIES IN PAIN]
98
00:04:11,872 --> 00:04:14,806
[THEY SCREECH]
99
00:04:15,082 --> 00:04:16,980
Owww!
100
00:04:18,706 --> 00:04:19,500
Delete it!
101
00:04:19,535 --> 00:04:21,778
Delete it, Lele! Delete it!
102
00:04:21,813 --> 00:04:23,539
Logan, are you alright?
103
00:04:27,681 --> 00:04:29,269
[LELE SCREAMS]
104
00:04:31,409 --> 00:04:32,893
Suck it, bitch!
105
00:04:32,927 --> 00:04:34,860
[LOGAN SCREAMS]
106
00:04:34,895 --> 00:04:36,483
[LOGAN GROANS IN PAIN]
107
00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:42,558
[SHE SHRIEKS]
108
00:04:42,592 --> 00:04:43,869
Ow!
109
00:04:43,904 --> 00:04:45,733
Delete.
- I hate you!
110
00:04:45,768 --> 00:04:48,288
I hate you.
- Your girlfriend's a computer!
111
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:49,427
Jesus.
112
00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:51,360
[LELE SCREECHES]
113
00:04:51,394 --> 00:04:53,016
Oh, my God.
[BIRD SQUAWKS]
114
00:04:53,741 --> 00:04:55,053
[DOOR SLAMS]
115
00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:56,330
Thanks, buddy.
116
00:04:57,987 --> 00:04:59,954
Sorry about that, babe.
117
00:04:59,989 --> 00:05:02,025
Oh, man, can't get any privacy
around here.
118
00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:05,132
OK.
- Hey, Logan!
119
00:05:05,166 --> 00:05:07,410
you seen the e-mail?
- Ow!
120
00:05:09,516 --> 00:05:12,553
I'll talk to you later, Logan.
- No, no, no, no, no!
121
00:05:13,589 --> 00:05:15,936
Fuck, man.
I was getting somewhere.
122
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:19,146
Bro, what are you in here doing,
man? I worry about you.
123
00:05:19,180 --> 00:05:21,700
That's not your girlfriend.
She's not a real girlfriend,
124
00:05:21,735 --> 00:05:23,184
she's a computer girlfriend.
125
00:05:23,219 --> 00:05:24,185
Huge difference.
126
00:05:24,220 --> 00:05:25,842
Real girlfriend?
[HE MOANS]
127
00:05:25,877 --> 00:05:27,637
Computer girlfriend?
[HE STUTTERS]
128
00:05:27,672 --> 00:05:28,811
You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.
129
00:05:28,845 --> 00:05:30,364
And I hate to break it down,
but...
130
00:05:30,399 --> 00:05:32,539
your girlfriend
probably got a dick.
131
00:05:32,573 --> 00:05:34,817
This convention's gonna be
the fucking tits!
132
00:05:35,265 --> 00:05:36,474
What convention?
133
00:05:36,508 --> 00:05:37,889
[BACH]: You didn't hear about
Hashtagacon?
134
00:05:37,923 --> 00:05:40,650
Bro, it's the biggest
social media convention ever.
135
00:05:42,031 --> 00:05:44,930
Yeah, man. Hashtagacon.
Everyone's gonna be there.
136
00:05:45,483 --> 00:05:46,656
It's gonna be awesome.
137
00:05:46,691 --> 00:05:48,451
How do you not know about this?
138
00:05:51,592 --> 00:05:53,732
OK. Seriously,
what is Hashtagacon?
139
00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:55,838
Who the hell cares?
People get laid at conventions.
140
00:05:55,872 --> 00:05:57,702
Did... OK.
- [PIQUES]: Yeah, they do.
141
00:05:57,736 --> 00:06:01,119
[MOUTH FULL]:
Really? Is that like a thing?
142
00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:02,396
Is that a what?
- Was that English?
143
00:06:02,431 --> 00:06:04,433
Like a thing. I'm sorry.
I was born in Mexico.
144
00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:06,296
Yeah, that's literally why they
invented conventions
145
00:06:06,331 --> 00:06:07,643
so you can fuck.
146
00:06:07,677 --> 00:06:08,678
It's like the only place you can
cheat on your wife
147
00:06:08,713 --> 00:06:10,197
and get a free gift basket.
148
00:06:10,231 --> 00:06:11,578
The gift baskets? Eh.
149
00:06:11,612 --> 00:06:13,476
But the cheating?
150
00:06:13,511 --> 00:06:16,099
So, this means...
- You can have sex, finally.
151
00:06:16,134 --> 00:06:17,722
[JUANPA]:
Aw...
152
00:06:17,756 --> 00:06:19,931
[THEY GASP]
- [JUANPA SCREAMS]
153
00:06:19,965 --> 00:06:21,691
No more virginity!
154
00:06:21,726 --> 00:06:23,383
[THEY CHEER]
155
00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:25,212
Yeah, Juanpa!
156
00:06:25,246 --> 00:06:26,489
I'm not gonna be a virgin,
Logan!
157
00:06:26,524 --> 00:06:29,699
Let's do it!
- [THEY SCREECH]
158
00:06:29,734 --> 00:06:31,529
We're all gonna be on
the same fucking flight.
159
00:06:31,563 --> 00:06:33,703
Dude, you ready, man?
- What? N-n-no. What?
160
00:06:33,738 --> 00:06:35,671
Do we... Do we have to fly?
161
00:06:35,705 --> 00:06:38,605
Y-y-yah! Yah, Logan. Yah!
162
00:06:38,639 --> 00:06:40,123
Uh... Then I can't go.
163
00:06:40,158 --> 00:06:42,919
No, Logan, por favor. Not again!
164
00:06:42,954 --> 00:06:44,369
[BACH]:
Why can't you fly, Logan?
165
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,198
[VOICE ECHOES]
166
00:06:47,545 --> 00:06:49,339
[JUANPA]:
You can do it, Logan!
167
00:06:49,374 --> 00:06:51,169
You can do it!
168
00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:53,585
It's gonna go on YouTube!
169
00:06:53,620 --> 00:06:55,587
I dunno. It looks pretty high
from up here.
170
00:06:55,622 --> 00:06:58,625
You're wearing a helmet.
Use your wings, you big pussy.
171
00:06:58,659 --> 00:07:00,523
Alright, here it goes.
172
00:07:00,558 --> 00:07:03,630
My foreign-exchange brother,
Logan, is going to fly.
173
00:07:03,664 --> 00:07:06,218
Oh, shit!
- Logan!
174
00:07:07,841 --> 00:07:09,118
How bad is it?
175
00:07:09,152 --> 00:07:10,775
You broke your femurs!
176
00:07:11,845 --> 00:07:14,503
[LOGAN SCREAMS]
177
00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:18,610
That's how I got these.
178
00:07:20,301 --> 00:07:21,717
[LELE SNIGGERS]
Wow.
179
00:07:21,751 --> 00:07:23,822
That's the dumbest story
I've ever heard.
180
00:07:23,857 --> 00:07:26,238
You ain't the fucking
Wright Brothers, motherfucker.
181
00:07:26,273 --> 00:07:28,068
Alright? And pull your pants up.
182
00:07:28,102 --> 00:07:30,242
The scars bring out
the bitch in you.
183
00:07:30,277 --> 00:07:31,865
[THEY LAUGH]
184
00:07:31,899 --> 00:07:33,418
You a nasty bitch!
185
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,731
[THEY SCREECH]
186
00:07:35,765 --> 00:07:37,318
[LELE SCREAMS]
- [LOGAN]: Stop, stop!
187
00:07:37,353 --> 00:07:40,252
Guys, I'm not going! And stop
jumping! We have termites!
188
00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:41,840
Shut the fuck up
and jump with us!
189
00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:43,428
The termites!
190
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,120
[BACH]: Termites?
What you mean, termites?
191
00:07:46,155 --> 00:07:48,675
Nobody worried about
no goddamn termites.
192
00:07:48,709 --> 00:07:50,228
[SOFA SPRINGS SQUEAK]
193
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:51,885
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]
194
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:58,167
Seriously, everyone needs
to stop jumping now!
195
00:07:58,201 --> 00:07:59,720
[SILENCE]
196
00:08:00,445 --> 00:08:03,068
Yo. Stop being a biggity bitch.
197
00:08:03,103 --> 00:08:04,414
OK?
- Sorry.
198
00:08:04,449 --> 00:08:06,658
Ain't no termites gonna chew
through this floor on my watch.
199
00:08:06,693 --> 00:08:08,315
I ain't gon' let it happen
and second off
200
00:08:08,349 --> 00:08:10,490
you ain't gon' tell a black man
that he can't jump.
201
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:13,493
I know my rights, motherfucker,
and I'm gon' jump!
202
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:16,737
I'm gon' jump! I'm gon' jump!
203
00:08:17,945 --> 00:08:19,637
[ALL GROAN]
204
00:08:21,259 --> 00:08:25,021
[NICK]: You guys good?
- How did you land like that?
205
00:08:25,056 --> 00:08:27,645
[JUANPA]: It's time to get over
your fear of flying, man.
206
00:08:27,679 --> 00:08:30,371
If you won't do it for her,
do it for my virginity.
207
00:08:30,406 --> 00:08:31,614
Please. Por favor.
208
00:08:31,649 --> 00:08:34,341
Not gonna happen, buddy.
Sorry.
209
00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:37,240
It just would've been fun
to tear up Australia with you.
210
00:08:38,621 --> 00:08:40,450
Australia?
- Yeah, but it's fine.
211
00:08:40,485 --> 00:08:42,383
I'll just call a hooker.
She can do the job.
212
00:08:42,418 --> 00:08:44,765
It's in Australia?
- Yeah, bro. Australia!
213
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,836
Imagine all the stuff
we can do there, man.
214
00:08:46,871 --> 00:08:49,563
Kangaroos, wallabies,
shrimp on the barbie!
215
00:08:49,598 --> 00:08:52,635
Shrimp on the barbie?
- Marsupials, motherfucker!
216
00:08:52,670 --> 00:08:54,119
Dingoes eating babies.
217
00:08:54,154 --> 00:08:56,605
And you get to see the girl
who lives in your computer.
218
00:08:56,639 --> 00:08:59,746
Real titties, soft nipples, huh?
219
00:08:59,780 --> 00:09:01,402
Hey, you talking about
computer titties in there?
220
00:09:01,437 --> 00:09:03,784
Hey, let me tell you something
about these Australian hoes.
221
00:09:03,819 --> 00:09:05,545
They crazy.
They're like boomerangs.
222
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:06,856
You throw 'em away
223
00:09:06,891 --> 00:09:08,755
they come right back
and suck your dick, mate.
224
00:09:08,789 --> 00:09:10,619
[IN AUSSIE ACCENT]:
Hey, can I suck your dick, mate?
225
00:09:10,653 --> 00:09:12,310
I'm like, yeah, you can do it.
226
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,554
But put your back into it.
227
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:17,073
Alright?
- I know I'm gonna regret this.
228
00:09:17,695 --> 00:09:19,835
But let's do it! Yeah!
229
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,941
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
230
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,219
Yeah! Come on!
231
00:09:25,254 --> 00:09:27,256
Oh! Sh... OK.
232
00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:28,671
Ah! That's amazing, babe!
233
00:09:28,706 --> 00:09:30,742
You're gonna love it here,
I promise.
234
00:09:30,777 --> 00:09:33,296
I dunno, I heard
Australia's pretty gnarly.
235
00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:34,608
What do you mean?
236
00:09:34,643 --> 00:09:36,679
Like, deadly spiders
and snakes and shit.
237
00:09:36,714 --> 00:09:38,992
Oh, yeah,
we got a lot of spiders.
238
00:09:39,026 --> 00:09:42,098
But they're not like,
everywhere, right?
239
00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:43,203
Yeah, look here.
240
00:09:45,895 --> 00:09:47,690
Ah!
- Holy sh...
241
00:09:51,211 --> 00:09:53,972
This is my spider stick.
- [HE SQUEALS NERVOUSLY]
242
00:09:54,007 --> 00:09:56,354
You're so brave for coming
to Australia, Logan.
243
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:59,460
I can't believe you're coming.
- I'm absolutely terrified.
244
00:09:59,495 --> 00:10:01,152
But I'm coming.
- [DOOR KNOCKS]
245
00:10:01,186 --> 00:10:02,912
Crikey, I have to go.
246
00:10:03,223 --> 00:10:04,189
Bye.
247
00:10:04,811 --> 00:10:06,364
[APP POWERS DOWN]
248
00:10:07,261 --> 00:10:08,677
Phew, OK.
249
00:10:08,711 --> 00:10:10,368
Time to say goodbye, old friend.
250
00:10:13,302 --> 00:10:15,304
[BOTTLE]: One more time,
for old time's sake?
251
00:10:15,338 --> 00:10:18,445
No! You're making this harder
than it has to be.
252
00:10:18,479 --> 00:10:19,929
That's what I was hoping for.
253
00:10:20,896 --> 00:10:23,450
Fine, but don't tell Ariel.
254
00:10:23,484 --> 00:10:25,970
I never would.
- Thanks.
255
00:10:26,004 --> 00:10:28,904
[BOTTLE IN DEMONIC VOICE]:
That bitch is gonna die!
256
00:10:28,938 --> 00:10:31,354
What?
- [BOTTLE]: I mean... uh...
257
00:10:31,389 --> 00:10:32,839
I always knew you could fly.
258
00:10:32,873 --> 00:10:35,635
Anyways, uh,
rub me on your cock.
259
00:10:35,911 --> 00:10:36,843
What?
260
00:10:36,877 --> 00:10:39,121
[DEMONIC BOTTLE]: Did I stutter?
- No.
261
00:10:39,155 --> 00:10:41,917
Then fucking rub me on your
fucking cock!
262
00:10:43,573 --> 00:10:45,990
[BOTTLE SCREAMS GLEEFULLY]
263
00:10:46,576 --> 00:10:48,993
[RADIO PLAYS]
264
00:10:50,028 --> 00:10:51,754
You boys want some water?
265
00:10:51,789 --> 00:10:53,273
No, thanks, man.
- No, we good, fam.
266
00:10:53,307 --> 00:10:56,034
I appreciate you.
- Maybe some cocaine?
267
00:10:56,586 --> 00:10:57,967
Sure.
- What?
268
00:10:58,002 --> 00:11:00,142
Juanpa, what the? What the fuck?
- I mean, he's offering.
269
00:11:00,176 --> 00:11:01,315
Shut the fuck up.
270
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:02,627
You're not doing cocaine
on the way to the airport.
271
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,147
Oh, shit, yo,
Vitaly's on our flight.
272
00:11:05,181 --> 00:11:07,045
Apparently he's going
to Australia to stand trial.
273
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,772
Wait, why is Vitaly going to
stand trial?
274
00:11:09,807 --> 00:11:11,809
Look, if you weren't so
knee-deep in computer pussy
275
00:11:11,843 --> 00:11:14,743
you'd know what's going on.
- [MENACING MUSIC]
276
00:11:21,646 --> 00:11:23,683
I'll take it from here,
Blindside.
277
00:11:27,445 --> 00:11:28,998
Welcome to Hell.
278
00:11:29,033 --> 00:11:30,413
[HE CACKLES]
279
00:11:31,138 --> 00:11:32,312
Ooh!
280
00:11:32,346 --> 00:11:33,416
Two for flinching!
281
00:11:34,970 --> 00:11:37,420
[WOMAN]:
Bye, Mum! Bye, Dad!
282
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,423
[MOTHER]:
Have a great trip.
283
00:11:50,848 --> 00:11:53,402
I'm gonna miss you, Mum.
- I'm gonna miss you.
284
00:11:57,061 --> 00:11:58,925
[BACH]:
Oh, that's a close family.
285
00:11:58,959 --> 00:12:01,410
Must be European.
- Must be nice.
286
00:12:01,444 --> 00:12:02,894
Must be down to fuck.
287
00:12:02,929 --> 00:12:05,690
Hey, y'all wanna
adopt a black man?
288
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,727
I'ma go shove this weed
in my ass.
289
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:09,487
I gotta check in
with immigration.
290
00:12:10,557 --> 00:12:12,455
You good?
- Not really.
291
00:12:15,217 --> 00:12:17,391
Hide your knives,
hide your drugs
292
00:12:17,426 --> 00:12:20,118
and hide your liquors cos we
searchin' everybody around here.
293
00:12:21,671 --> 00:12:23,812
[SEX TOYS VIBRATE]
294
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,094
[TSA AGENT]:
Step out.
295
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,649
Are you in possession
of any explosives?
296
00:12:33,683 --> 00:12:35,651
Nope. Just this bomb-ass pussy.
297
00:12:35,685 --> 00:12:36,997
[HE WHEEZES]
298
00:12:37,032 --> 00:12:38,896
How you doing, buddy?
That's adorable, that bag.
299
00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:40,138
Thank you.
It's actually brand-new.
300
00:12:40,173 --> 00:12:41,622
I just got it from the store.
- Oh, yeah?
301
00:12:41,657 --> 00:12:42,865
Yeah.
- Cool story, man.
302
00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:43,901
Be... be...
303
00:12:43,935 --> 00:12:45,661
[MACHINE WHIRS]
304
00:12:45,695 --> 00:12:47,801
Come on, man! What the fuck?
305
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,010
Next!
- What was that?
306
00:12:50,045 --> 00:12:51,909
Here you go.
- Whoa.
307
00:12:52,599 --> 00:12:54,118
[OLD LADY SCREAMS]
308
00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:57,259
My uterus!
309
00:12:57,293 --> 00:12:59,330
Hey, where's Juanpa?
- Immigration.
310
00:12:59,364 --> 00:13:01,194
[MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYS]
- [CHICKENS CLUCK]
311
00:13:01,228 --> 00:13:02,333
Deported.
312
00:13:03,644 --> 00:13:05,267
Hey, how are ya? Deported.
313
00:13:06,406 --> 00:13:07,614
Puta madre.
314
00:13:07,648 --> 00:13:09,581
Oh, sweet Jesus.
315
00:13:09,616 --> 00:13:10,997
Definitely deported.
316
00:13:12,999 --> 00:13:14,552
Well, hello, young man.
317
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:17,348
Are you a citizen of these
United States of America?
318
00:13:17,382 --> 00:13:18,521
Si.
319
00:13:18,556 --> 00:13:20,730
I smell bullshit. Deported.
320
00:13:20,765 --> 00:13:22,077
No! Ow! Wait!
321
00:13:22,111 --> 00:13:25,045
Look. I wanna have sex!
Just send me to Australia.
322
00:13:26,081 --> 00:13:27,599
That can be arranged.
323
00:13:28,669 --> 00:13:31,258
[CHICKEN CLUCKS]
- Whoa!
324
00:13:31,293 --> 00:13:34,537
Benny? Oh, my God!
Long time, no see.
325
00:13:36,574 --> 00:13:38,921
Um, is he supposed
to be sleeping?
326
00:13:38,956 --> 00:13:40,854
Chill, Logan.
327
00:13:40,889 --> 00:13:44,064
[AGENT SNORES]
- [MACHINE ALARM BUZZES]
328
00:13:45,445 --> 00:13:46,549
[AGENT]:
Bag check.
329
00:13:47,136 --> 00:13:48,137
What? Why?
330
00:13:48,172 --> 00:13:49,690
Sir.
- I just have a laptop.
331
00:13:49,725 --> 00:13:53,660
You've been randomly selected
by our advanced safety algorithm
332
00:13:53,694 --> 00:13:56,525
for an extensive
anal cavity search.
333
00:13:57,940 --> 00:14:00,563
I got 911 reasons
not to trust this guy.
334
00:14:00,598 --> 00:14:02,427
[HE MAKES WAR CRY]
335
00:14:02,772 --> 00:14:04,119
Whoa!
336
00:14:04,153 --> 00:14:06,155
You know you're gonna have to
X-ray that bird?
337
00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:08,709
Well, he's like a lap dog.
He can't fly.
338
00:14:08,744 --> 00:14:11,367
I don't know if that bird
is a terrorist.
339
00:14:11,402 --> 00:14:13,128
Check the damn bird.
340
00:14:13,162 --> 00:14:14,232
Thank you.
341
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,236
[BIRD SQUAWKS]
342
00:14:19,928 --> 00:14:22,758
Sir, the bird,
it's over three fluid ounces.
343
00:14:22,792 --> 00:14:24,035
You're gonna have to check it.
344
00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:25,865
Come on, he's got scoliosis.
345
00:14:26,693 --> 00:14:28,488
Ma'am, no twerking
in my machine.
346
00:14:28,522 --> 00:14:30,904
I wasn't twerking.
- I'm just making sure.
347
00:14:31,353 --> 00:14:32,802
[GLASS SHATTERS]
348
00:14:32,837 --> 00:14:34,114
[BIRD CHIRPS]
349
00:14:36,013 --> 00:14:37,669
[MENACING MUSIC]
350
00:14:37,704 --> 00:14:39,671
[DISTORTED DEEP VOICES]
351
00:14:41,604 --> 00:14:43,952
[DISTANT CHILDREN GIGGLE]
352
00:14:45,056 --> 00:14:46,333
[FIREWORK BANGS]
353
00:14:47,472 --> 00:14:49,302
[DISTORTED VOICE]:
No!
354
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,064
No! No! Don't make me!
355
00:14:53,099 --> 00:14:54,859
You can't make me!
356
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,966
No! No! No! No!
357
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,796
Ah! Ow! Ah! OK.
358
00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:02,902
OK. I was kidding.
359
00:15:03,764 --> 00:15:05,352
[LELE]:
Wait, guys! Wait for me!
360
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:08,597
[LELE GROANS]
361
00:15:11,186 --> 00:15:12,428
Wait!
362
00:15:12,463 --> 00:15:13,947
Stop! Hey!
363
00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:16,122
Wait!
364
00:15:17,019 --> 00:15:18,331
[HE EXHALES]
365
00:15:19,470 --> 00:15:21,541
Ugh. As passengers
in the emergency row
366
00:15:21,575 --> 00:15:23,025
are you willing and capable
to assist
367
00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:24,682
in the event of an emergency?
368
00:15:27,029 --> 00:15:28,203
Alright. Good enough.
369
00:15:28,893 --> 00:15:31,206
No! No, I'm fucking not!
370
00:15:32,069 --> 00:15:33,173
Well, luckily for you
371
00:15:33,208 --> 00:15:34,692
the passenger in 2E
just passed away
372
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,901
so I can upgrade you
to first-class if you like.
373
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,799
Passed away?
- Mm-hm.
374
00:15:38,834 --> 00:15:40,318
What do you mean, passed away?
375
00:15:40,353 --> 00:15:42,251
[TENSE MUSIC]
376
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,775
[BRUCE]:
One for you.
377
00:15:48,809 --> 00:15:50,225
There you are.
378
00:15:51,398 --> 00:15:52,917
Hi. There you go.
379
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,056
[GIGGLING]:
Alright.
380
00:15:54,091 --> 00:15:55,437
There you are, sir. Uh-huh.
381
00:15:56,231 --> 00:15:58,647
Hey, Juanpa. You made it!
382
00:15:58,681 --> 00:16:00,580
They searched my cavities, man.
383
00:16:00,614 --> 00:16:02,651
I've never been to a dentist
like this before.
384
00:16:02,685 --> 00:16:04,860
Alright, move it along.
Here we go. Keep going
385
00:16:04,894 --> 00:16:06,551
All the way back.
- Gracias.
386
00:16:06,586 --> 00:16:08,519
My last taste of America!
387
00:16:10,383 --> 00:16:11,660
[PHONE CHIMES]
388
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,115
Oh, shit.
389
00:16:23,706 --> 00:16:24,707
Oh!
390
00:16:26,330 --> 00:16:27,331
Ah!
391
00:16:27,883 --> 00:16:29,298
Autocorrect?
392
00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:31,507
Are you looking at naked
pictures on your phone?
393
00:16:31,542 --> 00:16:32,577
No!
394
00:16:32,612 --> 00:16:35,891
Yeah. Yeah, you were.
- No, I... I mean...
395
00:16:35,925 --> 00:16:37,444
Yeah, I was, but it's my mum.
396
00:16:37,479 --> 00:16:39,757
You're staring at a naked photo
of your mum?
397
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,414
[HE WHISPERS]:
No. Yes. I...
398
00:16:41,448 --> 00:16:42,794
Oh, my gosh.
399
00:16:42,829 --> 00:16:44,969
Technically, yes, it was my mum,
technically, yes, she was naked
400
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,868
but it's not like... Fuck.
401
00:16:47,903 --> 00:16:49,560
I don't think we've met.
Hi, I'm Logan.
402
00:16:51,527 --> 00:16:52,252
Jenna.
403
00:16:52,287 --> 00:16:54,082
Hi, Logan. I'm Jenna.
404
00:16:54,392 --> 00:16:55,324
What?
405
00:16:55,773 --> 00:16:57,119
OK, well, I'm...
406
00:16:58,879 --> 00:17:00,364
I think we got off
on the wrong foot.
407
00:17:00,398 --> 00:17:02,297
Cool.
408
00:17:02,331 --> 00:17:04,540
Really looking forward
to the next 17 hours of this.
409
00:17:04,575 --> 00:17:05,645
Yeah, me too.
410
00:17:06,784 --> 00:17:09,373
OK. Let me just move in...
- If that helps...
411
00:17:16,483 --> 00:17:19,797
[LISPING]: Welcome aboard
Koalair flight 1524
412
00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:21,799
to Sydney, Australia.
413
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:24,457
"Koal-ity" you can trust.
- Trust.
414
00:17:24,491 --> 00:17:28,633
This is your captain, Thrustle,
with co-pilot "Peness."
415
00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:32,361
[CO-PILOT]: First of all,
it's pronounced "Penis".
416
00:17:32,396 --> 00:17:34,605
I come from
a proud Celtic heritage.
417
00:17:34,639 --> 00:17:37,263
I'd like to thank you
for choosing Koalair.
418
00:17:37,297 --> 00:17:39,541
We know you have many choices
in air travel
419
00:17:39,575 --> 00:17:42,578
and we are always surprised
when you choose us.
420
00:17:42,613 --> 00:17:44,856
[CO-PILOT GROANS]
- I think that went pretty well.
421
00:17:44,891 --> 00:17:46,858
That was killer enunciation,
bro.
422
00:17:46,893 --> 00:17:49,896
You know, I've been taking this
new speech therapy class
423
00:17:49,930 --> 00:17:52,209
and I think my lisp is gone.
424
00:17:52,243 --> 00:17:53,658
[LISPING]:
I can barely notice it.
425
00:17:53,693 --> 00:17:57,766
You're so handsome.
You look just like your daddy.
426
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,113
Even though he ran off
with that cheating whore.
427
00:18:00,148 --> 00:18:01,873
But you're so cute!
428
00:18:01,908 --> 00:18:04,842
Yes, you are. We're gonna
find you a new daddy.
429
00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:07,534
Yes, we are.
With way more money.
430
00:18:07,569 --> 00:18:10,054
So, uh, you going to
the social media convention?
431
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,609
Oh, no, I'm visiting my
sweetheart from the war.
432
00:18:13,644 --> 00:18:16,267
Aw.
- He's on his death bed and...
433
00:18:16,302 --> 00:18:19,443
Oh, I'm sorry.
- I promised him one more
434
00:18:19,477 --> 00:18:21,755
ride on the merry-go-round.
435
00:18:21,790 --> 00:18:23,205
Oh, cool.
436
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:27,002
Oh, by the way,
I don't mean to scare you
437
00:18:27,036 --> 00:18:30,730
but I sleep with my eyes open.
438
00:18:30,764 --> 00:18:32,214
[HE LAUGHS]
439
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,287
Hello?
440
00:18:36,874 --> 00:18:38,013
Oh!
- Oh.
441
00:18:38,047 --> 00:18:40,981
Oh.
- Lick your lips.
442
00:18:41,016 --> 00:18:42,811
Oh!
-Uh-oh.
443
00:18:44,502 --> 00:18:46,021
Whoa. Fucking A!
444
00:18:46,055 --> 00:18:49,921
And I was left with
these bad boys.
445
00:18:50,681 --> 00:18:52,096
Oh, my God.
446
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,098
You probably think I'm an idiot.
447
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,306
Check this out.
448
00:18:55,927 --> 00:18:57,757
[LOGAN]:
Oh, my God!
449
00:18:57,791 --> 00:18:58,999
You have femur scars!
450
00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:02,244
Matching femur scars!
- We have matching femur scars.
451
00:19:02,279 --> 00:19:03,797
This is weird.
- It is weird.
452
00:19:03,832 --> 00:19:05,937
Most people don't even know
what a femur is!
453
00:19:05,972 --> 00:19:07,180
Shh, shh...
- How do...?
454
00:19:07,215 --> 00:19:08,561
[BABY CRIES]
- [MAN]: Keep it down up there!
455
00:19:09,113 --> 00:19:11,288
How did you get yours?
456
00:19:11,322 --> 00:19:13,773
Not to freak you out, but...
plane crash.
457
00:19:15,395 --> 00:19:17,673
Like a... like the fucking...
458
00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:20,469
Uh... What the fuck?
459
00:19:20,504 --> 00:19:22,747
What the fuck is...?
- [HE BREATHES HEAVILY]
460
00:19:22,782 --> 00:19:24,956
Ha-ha! I'm kidding, I'm kidding,
I'm kidding.
461
00:19:24,991 --> 00:19:26,682
No one survives those. No.
462
00:19:26,717 --> 00:19:27,925
[NERVOUS LAUGH]
463
00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:30,099
I like to play out in your head,
though, that was funny.
464
00:19:30,134 --> 00:19:32,274
OK. Ahhh!
- [SHE LAUGHS]
465
00:19:32,309 --> 00:19:34,414
No.
- Ah... You got me good.
466
00:19:34,449 --> 00:19:37,176
You got me good. You have
a weird sense of humour.
467
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,591
But I like it.
468
00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:41,559
But how'd that happen actually?
- Drug deal went south.
469
00:19:41,594 --> 00:19:43,251
They brought hammers, so...
470
00:19:45,045 --> 00:19:47,289
You... What kind of drugs?
471
00:19:47,324 --> 00:19:48,842
Wow, look at all this leg room.
472
00:19:48,877 --> 00:19:52,329
It's crazy. I can't even reach
my tray table.
473
00:19:52,363 --> 00:19:54,227
[HE GRUNTS AND LAUGHS]
474
00:19:55,055 --> 00:19:56,264
Jesus Christ!
475
00:19:56,298 --> 00:19:57,748
[MAN LAUGHS]
476
00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:00,992
Hey, fucking stop having fun!
477
00:20:02,822 --> 00:20:05,273
[UPBEAT TECHNO MUSIC]
478
00:20:21,565 --> 00:20:24,982
[BRUCE, VO]: Mm, look at you, my
little floppy-haired Cub Scout.
479
00:20:26,708 --> 00:20:28,123
Ooh...
480
00:20:28,157 --> 00:20:29,814
Am I following along
at the right place?
481
00:20:29,849 --> 00:20:31,540
[BRUCE, VO]: That seat back
isn't gonna be the only thing
482
00:20:31,575 --> 00:20:33,680
in the upright position.
[HE GASPS]
483
00:20:34,474 --> 00:20:35,889
I dunno.
484
00:20:35,924 --> 00:20:37,857
[BRUCE, VO]: I'm gonna break you
in like a new pair of sneakers.
485
00:20:37,891 --> 00:20:39,376
Vans. Damn, Daniel.
486
00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:40,860
I'm gonna ride you
like a pogo stick
487
00:20:40,894 --> 00:20:43,242
and fill you up
like you forgot to say when.
488
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:46,728
I'm gonna fist you at the Four
Seasons pool in broad daylight.
489
00:20:46,762 --> 00:20:49,765
I'll stretch your tight little
ass like a goat-skin drum.
490
00:20:50,697 --> 00:20:52,458
I can hear you.
491
00:20:52,492 --> 00:20:55,046
[DISTANT PA ANNOUNCEMENT]
492
00:21:00,362 --> 00:21:01,674
[HE SCREAMS]
493
00:21:04,884 --> 00:21:06,299
[SHE PURRS]
494
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,889
Aww.
- Oh, wow.
495
00:21:10,752 --> 00:21:12,271
Stop. Stop!
496
00:21:15,032 --> 00:21:15,998
Hey.
497
00:21:17,137 --> 00:21:18,760
You can do this.
498
00:21:21,763 --> 00:21:23,696
Don't be a little bitch,
alright?
499
00:21:23,730 --> 00:21:27,803
Please turn your cellular
and electronic devices
500
00:21:27,838 --> 00:21:30,668
to airplane setting.
501
00:21:30,703 --> 00:21:31,738
Hey, fuck that!
502
00:21:31,773 --> 00:21:33,464
I'd rather die
than turn my shit off.
503
00:21:33,499 --> 00:21:34,741
[PASSENGERS CHEER]
504
00:21:34,776 --> 00:21:36,329
I'd rather die, so you kill me,
motherfucker.
505
00:21:36,364 --> 00:21:38,124
Quick, while we still have
service!
506
00:21:38,158 --> 00:21:39,470
[THEY SCREECH]
507
00:21:39,505 --> 00:21:41,748
[MUSIC: "Live Forever" by Hyper]
508
00:21:41,783 --> 00:21:43,750
♪ The world knows it
Your girl knows it ♪
509
00:21:43,785 --> 00:21:45,476
♪ You not one of them
top dudes ♪
510
00:21:45,511 --> 00:21:47,271
♪ We watch you
We know the type ♪
511
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,204
♪ Loud mouth
Like a motorbike ♪
512
00:21:49,238 --> 00:21:50,999
♪ I don't know
Why we let you live ♪
513
00:21:51,033 --> 00:21:52,449
♪ Chalk it up to an oversight
514
00:21:52,483 --> 00:21:54,105
♪ A real man makes up his mind
515
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:56,280
♪ He don't cry about it
He don't lie about it ♪
516
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,178
♪ Real men live forever
517
00:21:58,213 --> 00:21:59,973
Oh, shit.
We're going the wrong way.
518
00:22:00,008 --> 00:22:01,285
Oh, my goodness.
519
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,114
I believe we are
going in the wrong direction.
520
00:22:03,149 --> 00:22:05,876
We gotta flip a bitch.
- We will now flip a bitch.
521
00:22:05,910 --> 00:22:09,397
The aviation term for
turning the plane around.
522
00:22:09,845 --> 00:22:10,950
Coming about!
523
00:22:10,984 --> 00:22:13,332
[MONKEY SQUEAKS]:
524
00:22:13,366 --> 00:22:15,299
Ay! Como estan?
525
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,301
Ah, it's a video!
Got your dumb ass.
526
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,096
I fly all the time.
527
00:22:21,616 --> 00:22:24,204
I can't talk right now, Mum,
I'm on a fucking plane!
528
00:22:24,239 --> 00:22:25,758
What the hell is going on?
529
00:22:25,792 --> 00:22:28,519
What? Did you spill
on the console again?
530
00:22:28,554 --> 00:22:29,934
No, I didn't spill, Dad!
531
00:22:31,660 --> 00:22:33,179
Nos vemos en Australia!
532
00:22:33,213 --> 00:22:35,630
We are getting major satellite
interference for some reason.
533
00:22:35,664 --> 00:22:38,564
No, there's no satellite
interference. Wait...
534
00:22:38,598 --> 00:22:40,117
Do you think that they...
535
00:22:40,151 --> 00:22:41,429
It's their cellphones!
536
00:22:41,463 --> 00:22:43,362
[THEY GIGGLE]
537
00:22:45,018 --> 00:22:46,641
They didn't turn off
their cellphones!
538
00:22:46,675 --> 00:22:50,265
Everyone knows that you put
your phone in Airplane Mode.
539
00:22:50,299 --> 00:22:52,301
Don't be so fucking naive,
"Peneese"!
540
00:22:52,336 --> 00:22:55,546
My name is Penis!
It is a Celtic name!
541
00:22:55,581 --> 00:22:57,790
Goddamn it!
What the hell is going on?
542
00:22:57,824 --> 00:23:00,275
Hey, you motherfuckers,
turn off your fucking...
543
00:23:00,309 --> 00:23:01,725
[ALARM RINGS]
544
00:23:01,759 --> 00:23:02,726
No!
545
00:23:06,833 --> 00:23:08,766
[ALARM RINGS]
546
00:23:08,801 --> 00:23:10,734
♪ We're gonna live forever
547
00:23:12,494 --> 00:23:14,600
[CHAOTIC NOISE FADES]
548
00:23:21,641 --> 00:23:23,402
Flyin' ain't so bad.
549
00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:25,473
Hey, look at my little doggie.
550
00:23:25,507 --> 00:23:26,819
Aw.
- Isn't he cute?
551
00:23:26,853 --> 00:23:28,165
He is.
- Yeah.
552
00:23:28,199 --> 00:23:29,925
That's my baby.
- He's cute.
553
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,341
Whoa, whoa, yeah.
- Oh, no, um...
554
00:23:32,376 --> 00:23:33,860
Who's that shirtless hunk?
555
00:23:33,895 --> 00:23:36,449
I'm getting as far away from
that cheating prick as possible
556
00:23:36,484 --> 00:23:37,761
hence Australia.
557
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,902
Oh, damn. My bad.
558
00:23:43,111 --> 00:23:45,872
You know, I know what it's like
to be cheated on.
559
00:23:45,907 --> 00:23:47,253
Yeah, this one time,
during midterms
560
00:23:47,287 --> 00:23:50,049
this Asian girl kept looking
over at all my answers.
561
00:23:50,083 --> 00:23:52,223
Which is ironic, you know,
because she's Asian.
562
00:23:52,258 --> 00:23:53,984
I should be cheating off of her.
563
00:23:55,364 --> 00:23:56,745
But I see how that's different
564
00:23:56,780 --> 00:23:59,955
now that the words have
come out of my mouth.
565
00:23:59,990 --> 00:24:01,474
What's your Instagram?
566
00:24:02,130 --> 00:24:03,442
I don't have social media.
567
00:24:04,304 --> 00:24:06,065
What do you mean
when you say that?
568
00:24:06,099 --> 00:24:08,723
I mean, like, I'd rather just be
living my life instead of
569
00:24:08,757 --> 00:24:11,484
worrying if people are gonna
like and comment on it.
570
00:24:12,002 --> 00:24:13,037
Wow.
571
00:24:13,072 --> 00:24:15,592
Are you with the
"Hashtag-omegacon" thing?
572
00:24:15,626 --> 00:24:17,835
Kind of. No. No.
- Wow.
573
00:24:17,870 --> 00:24:19,078
I'm actually going to Australia
574
00:24:19,112 --> 00:24:20,424
to visit my girlfriend
for the first time.
575
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,081
[LELE]:
Your girlfriend's a computer!
576
00:24:22,115 --> 00:24:23,496
Fuck you, Lele!
577
00:24:23,531 --> 00:24:25,394
Check out how pretty she is.
Home screen.
578
00:24:25,429 --> 00:24:27,466
[JENNA]:
Whew. Home screen official.
579
00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:29,260
Yeah. She's... she's gorgeous.
580
00:24:32,022 --> 00:24:33,506
[TAPS ON DOOR]
581
00:24:36,129 --> 00:24:37,476
Hey, boys.
582
00:24:37,993 --> 00:24:39,236
Oh, my God.
583
00:24:39,270 --> 00:24:41,238
Whoa. I am so sorry.
584
00:24:41,272 --> 00:24:43,102
Oh, Jesus. Sorry!
585
00:24:43,136 --> 00:24:44,310
Sorry about that. OK.
586
00:24:44,344 --> 00:24:45,587
[SHE GRUNTS]
587
00:24:49,004 --> 00:24:50,937
This would happen to me
on my first day.
588
00:24:51,766 --> 00:24:53,492
[SHE SIGHS SHARPLY]
589
00:24:54,251 --> 00:24:55,528
[SHE SQUEALS]
590
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:01,741
[STEWARDESS]:
Attention, all passengers
591
00:25:01,776 --> 00:25:04,503
we have reached our cruising
altitude of 38,000 feet.
592
00:25:04,537 --> 00:25:06,884
It is now safe
to unfasten your seatbelts.
593
00:25:06,919 --> 00:25:07,954
Unfasten?
594
00:25:07,989 --> 00:25:09,542
You mean... turn up?
595
00:25:09,577 --> 00:25:11,510
[ALL CHEER]
596
00:25:20,829 --> 00:25:23,004
♪ Come, here we go
Do the rigmarole ♪
597
00:25:23,038 --> 00:25:25,351
♪ You ain't got a lotta ass
You got a little bit though ♪
598
00:25:25,385 --> 00:25:28,043
♪ I press ignore on my phone
When I'm sick of a hoe ♪
599
00:25:28,078 --> 00:25:29,666
♪ I take a white bitch
Back home ♪
600
00:25:29,700 --> 00:25:31,115
♪ Into my nose
601
00:25:35,844 --> 00:25:38,537
♪ Silva's in the back seat
Louis riding shotgun ♪
602
00:25:38,571 --> 00:25:40,918
♪ Girl on the rebound
I'm Dennis Rodman ♪
603
00:25:40,953 --> 00:25:43,093
♪ These girls getting mad
When they chasing me ♪
604
00:25:43,127 --> 00:25:45,785
♪ True Hollywood story
Let's take some E ♪
605
00:25:45,820 --> 00:25:48,305
♪ Friends try to cockblock
Like Chris Hansen ♪
606
00:25:48,339 --> 00:25:50,928
♪ Straight to the bathroom
I'm done dancin' ♪
607
00:25:50,963 --> 00:25:53,621
♪ Roses in the stall
Cos I bring the romance in ♪
608
00:25:53,655 --> 00:25:56,555
♪ I'm on the girls, a 69
Like Charles Manson ♪
609
00:26:01,145 --> 00:26:03,665
♪ Beat's getting louder
Sounds like a bullet ♪
610
00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:06,116
♪ Nose full of powder
Mouth full of bullshit ♪
611
00:26:06,150 --> 00:26:08,774
♪ Dick never prouder
Slathered in girl's spit ♪
612
00:26:08,808 --> 00:26:11,224
♪ Tits fallin' outta
Don't stop, it's working ♪
613
00:26:11,259 --> 00:26:13,917
♪ Undress us with your eyes
And you can't stop drooling ♪
614
00:26:13,951 --> 00:26:15,988
♪ Keep it in your pants, girl
Who are you foolin'? ♪
615
00:26:16,022 --> 00:26:19,094
♪ Let your man give you a flight
You'll never forget ♪
616
00:26:19,129 --> 00:26:21,027
[WOMAN MOANS]
617
00:26:27,793 --> 00:26:29,795
[BRUCE, VO]:
You can't hear my thoughts.
618
00:26:29,829 --> 00:26:31,348
Yes, I can, Bruce!
619
00:26:31,382 --> 00:26:32,694
[BRUCE, VO]:
Stop it.
620
00:26:33,937 --> 00:26:35,628
[SHE HUMS]
621
00:26:39,183 --> 00:26:40,115
Ooh.
622
00:26:41,047 --> 00:26:41,979
[SHE GASPS]
623
00:26:42,014 --> 00:26:44,948
Oh, score! Oh, my God.
Alright, well...
624
00:26:46,812 --> 00:26:48,020
Ugh!
625
00:26:48,054 --> 00:26:50,367
Hey, Bulimic, get out of there.
That stuff costs money.
626
00:26:50,401 --> 00:26:52,749
What am I...
- [HE MOCK-STUTTERS]
627
00:26:52,783 --> 00:26:53,991
I speak goat, too.
628
00:26:54,026 --> 00:26:55,648
[IMITATING A GOAT]:
You are a basic bitch.
629
00:26:55,683 --> 00:26:57,892
What if I let you lick
one of my nipples?
630
00:26:57,926 --> 00:27:00,653
I wouldn't fuck your brother,
even if he was hot.
631
00:27:00,688 --> 00:27:02,828
OK, what about if I told you
I had a penis?
632
00:27:02,862 --> 00:27:06,072
Here's the deal. You are, um, a
skinny, ratchet-ass basic bitch
633
00:27:06,107 --> 00:27:07,936
who goes to Cancun
for spring break
634
00:27:07,971 --> 00:27:09,869
and will put anything
in her mouth, got it?
635
00:27:09,904 --> 00:27:12,734
What?
- Take your brunette extensions
636
00:27:12,769 --> 00:27:15,910
your skinny, weird, Selena Gomez
lookalike bullshit
637
00:27:15,944 --> 00:27:18,637
go get on your phone
and go find a cock to suck.
638
00:27:18,671 --> 00:27:19,914
Well...
- Shh.
639
00:27:19,948 --> 00:27:21,950
You're a basic bitch.
Get out of my liquor.
640
00:27:23,607 --> 00:27:25,126
[BABY BABBLES]
641
00:27:39,554 --> 00:27:42,419
Coffee, sir?
- Yes, please.
642
00:27:42,453 --> 00:27:44,317
OK, and how would you like it?
643
00:27:44,352 --> 00:27:47,907
Like I like my women.
Black and full of cream.
644
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:53,016
You kiss like my dad.
645
00:27:53,050 --> 00:27:55,328
Let's just pretend
you didn't say that.
646
00:27:55,363 --> 00:27:56,295
OK?
- OK.
647
00:27:56,329 --> 00:27:57,779
[COFFEE POURS]
648
00:27:58,780 --> 00:27:59,919
There you go.
649
00:28:01,438 --> 00:28:02,681
The fuck?
650
00:28:07,789 --> 00:28:08,928
You're next.
651
00:28:10,723 --> 00:28:13,553
Hey, guys, just wanted to let
you know I didn't see anything.
652
00:28:13,588 --> 00:28:15,072
You're still going?
653
00:28:15,107 --> 00:28:16,936
You're still going at it?
OK, sorry.
654
00:28:16,971 --> 00:28:18,697
I still didn't see anything.
655
00:28:20,629 --> 00:28:22,010
[MOTHER]:
Oh!
656
00:28:22,459 --> 00:28:24,461
There you are!
657
00:28:24,495 --> 00:28:29,121
Oh, you're an escape artist,
just like your daddy.
658
00:28:29,155 --> 00:28:30,467
Mmm. Huh?
659
00:28:30,985 --> 00:28:32,020
Yeah.
660
00:28:32,676 --> 00:28:34,057
Oh, I'm sorry.
661
00:28:34,091 --> 00:28:37,301
Where are my manners? You must
be hungry, comrade, huh?
662
00:28:37,336 --> 00:28:38,786
You want some banana? Huh?
663
00:28:38,820 --> 00:28:40,926
You want a little banana?
Here you go.
664
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,135
Why don't you eat that, huh?
There you go.
665
00:28:43,169 --> 00:28:45,793
Why don't you take that all?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
666
00:28:45,827 --> 00:28:47,346
That's what I thought.
667
00:28:47,380 --> 00:28:50,107
You want some cheese, pal?
You got cheese in Russia?
668
00:28:50,142 --> 00:28:52,696
Oh, you got a built-in cheese
grater right there. Look at you.
669
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:55,457
Look at you. What does
that taste like, borscht?
670
00:28:55,492 --> 00:28:57,977
What else? Oh. Choco Taco, huh?
671
00:28:58,012 --> 00:29:00,566
I hope you're not dairy
intolerant there, Ruski.
672
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,775
How's that? Oh, yeah!
673
00:29:02,810 --> 00:29:04,466
Oh, yeah!
674
00:29:06,814 --> 00:29:08,436
What the fuck you looking at,
Aladdin?
675
00:29:08,470 --> 00:29:09,782
Nothing. What's your problem?
676
00:29:09,817 --> 00:29:11,680
I got no problem,
I'm just racist.
677
00:29:11,715 --> 00:29:14,925
I do respect the queers, though.
They've been through a lot.
678
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:16,478
Now you got that gay marriage.
679
00:29:16,513 --> 00:29:17,997
Used to be
what they do is illegal.
680
00:29:18,032 --> 00:29:19,654
Now they got shows about it.
681
00:29:19,688 --> 00:29:20,828
I binge-watch 'em.
682
00:29:20,862 --> 00:29:22,036
OK, dude.
683
00:29:23,727 --> 00:29:25,315
Is he still looking?
- Yeah.
684
00:29:29,595 --> 00:29:32,874
And that's how I lost 15%
of my right testicle.
685
00:29:32,909 --> 00:29:35,808
Yep. A dwarf in a Godzilla
costume. Can you imagine?
686
00:29:35,843 --> 00:29:36,913
I don't have to imagine.
687
00:29:36,947 --> 00:29:38,742
You just told me every
last detail.
688
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:41,469
There's nothing more I could
possibly learn about your balls.
689
00:29:41,503 --> 00:29:42,850
Oh, you'd be surprised.
690
00:29:42,884 --> 00:29:45,059
They could do a whole 60-minute
special on my balls.
691
00:29:45,093 --> 00:29:46,508
Does your Internet girlfriend
know about
692
00:29:46,543 --> 00:29:48,545
your deflated testicle?
693
00:29:48,579 --> 00:29:50,098
It's not deflated.
694
00:29:50,133 --> 00:29:52,135
And, no, we have not crossed
that bridge yet.
695
00:29:52,169 --> 00:29:53,964
Alright,
I'm sorry, I gotta ask
696
00:29:53,999 --> 00:29:57,002
how can you love someone
you've never actually met?
697
00:29:57,657 --> 00:29:59,142
She makes me snort.
698
00:29:59,832 --> 00:30:01,075
What?
699
00:30:01,109 --> 00:30:02,697
She's funny. She's got
a great sense of humour.
700
00:30:02,731 --> 00:30:03,940
I know it's cheesy, but--
701
00:30:03,974 --> 00:30:05,942
Bro, I could make you snort
in two seconds.
702
00:30:05,976 --> 00:30:07,253
No, you could not. OK?
703
00:30:07,288 --> 00:30:09,428
It's practically impossible
to make me laugh.
704
00:30:09,462 --> 00:30:12,396
It takes someone creative.
It takes someone original.
705
00:30:12,431 --> 00:30:14,329
You gotta make a good joke
to make me laugh.
706
00:30:15,917 --> 00:30:17,885
Oh!
[LOGAN GIGGLES]
707
00:30:18,644 --> 00:30:20,853
[HE SNORTS]
708
00:30:20,888 --> 00:30:23,442
Aw, does this mean
that you love me?
709
00:30:23,476 --> 00:30:24,477
Uh...
710
00:30:25,237 --> 00:30:26,410
[LOGAN SNEEZES]
711
00:30:31,588 --> 00:30:33,279
By the way
712
00:30:33,314 --> 00:30:35,592
thanks for pepping me up
earlier.
713
00:30:35,626 --> 00:30:37,939
You know, it may not have seemed
like much, but it really helped.
714
00:30:37,974 --> 00:30:39,492
Yeah, yeah, no problem, Logan.
715
00:30:39,527 --> 00:30:41,909
Alright, I'm going to try to get
some sleep
716
00:30:41,943 --> 00:30:43,772
and hopefully not dream of
"Dwarfzilla."
717
00:30:43,807 --> 00:30:45,050
Or swollen balls.
718
00:30:45,084 --> 00:30:46,603
Yeah.
- Am I right?
719
00:30:47,362 --> 00:30:49,502
OK. Goodnight.
720
00:30:49,537 --> 00:30:54,059
I'm gonna... nominate
your shoulder as my pillow. OK.
721
00:30:54,093 --> 00:30:55,405
[SHE CLEARS THROAT]
722
00:31:07,003 --> 00:31:09,522
Did you really just wipe
your snot on my shoulder?
723
00:31:10,627 --> 00:31:11,593
No.
724
00:31:12,353 --> 00:31:13,492
Is this shit?
725
00:31:15,528 --> 00:31:17,013
Oh, OK, thank God.
726
00:31:17,047 --> 00:31:19,532
[INTENSE ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC]
727
00:31:22,259 --> 00:31:23,502
[BABY GURGLES]
728
00:31:34,202 --> 00:31:37,447
Hey, I have noticed that the
seat belt sign has been off
729
00:31:37,481 --> 00:31:38,793
for the last several hours
730
00:31:38,827 --> 00:31:40,415
and I just think that...
Oh!
731
00:31:40,450 --> 00:31:44,212
That it's very unprofessional,
and unsafe, and...
732
00:31:44,247 --> 00:31:45,869
Jesus Christ, are you gonna
suck his dick
733
00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:47,802
all the way to Australia?
734
00:31:47,836 --> 00:31:49,321
Fuck it. I'll finish him off.
735
00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:51,392
[SHE SCREAMS]
736
00:31:52,082 --> 00:31:54,395
[SHE SCREAMS]
Oh, my God!
737
00:31:54,429 --> 00:31:56,224
[SHE PANTS HYSTERICALLY]
738
00:32:00,780 --> 00:32:02,921
[SHE PANTS]
739
00:32:07,477 --> 00:32:09,272
We need your assistance
in the cockpit, sir.
740
00:32:09,306 --> 00:32:10,721
Are you fucking kidding me?
741
00:32:10,756 --> 00:32:14,656
Sir, we really need your
assistance in the cockpit.
742
00:32:14,691 --> 00:32:17,383
You're crazy if you think I'm
gonna let this Soviet psychopath
743
00:32:17,418 --> 00:32:18,937
sit back here alone.
744
00:32:18,971 --> 00:32:22,112
Sir, with all due respect,
this is more important.
745
00:32:22,147 --> 00:32:23,734
Do you know
what this guy's capable of?
746
00:32:23,769 --> 00:32:26,013
He's the reason why you have
your privates scanned
747
00:32:26,047 --> 00:32:27,186
at the airport.
748
00:32:27,221 --> 00:32:29,257
And I hate having
my privates scanned!
749
00:32:29,292 --> 00:32:32,295
I had my dick lopped off
by a pottery wheel!
750
00:32:32,329 --> 00:32:34,711
Now my dick looks like the stump
at the end of "The Giving Tree."
751
00:32:34,745 --> 00:32:35,746
Oh...
752
00:32:37,817 --> 00:32:39,267
If you so much as flinch
753
00:32:39,302 --> 00:32:42,201
I will make you a member
of the dick stump club.
754
00:32:43,789 --> 00:32:45,239
There are three of us.
755
00:32:47,034 --> 00:32:48,345
We meet on Wednesdays.
756
00:32:49,001 --> 00:32:50,106
Damn it.
757
00:33:10,126 --> 00:33:11,506
What the fuck is on his mouth?
758
00:33:11,541 --> 00:33:13,163
I thought they were just making
oral love!
759
00:33:13,198 --> 00:33:15,614
I had no idea that they were...
- You had no idea?
760
00:33:15,648 --> 00:33:17,064
You had no idea?
- No.
761
00:33:17,098 --> 00:33:19,307
TSA article 1219 clearly states
762
00:33:19,342 --> 00:33:21,585
no pilot shall engage in
dick suckery
763
00:33:21,620 --> 00:33:22,897
without a spotter!
764
00:33:22,931 --> 00:33:24,347
What?
- Dick suckery?
765
00:33:24,381 --> 00:33:26,590
How would I know that?
- Cos that's your job!
766
00:33:26,625 --> 00:33:28,144
Is everything OK?
- Hey, go back to your seat.
767
00:33:28,178 --> 00:33:29,352
Sir, please
go back to your seat.
768
00:33:29,386 --> 00:33:31,043
Now or I'm gonna taze you
till you shit.
769
00:33:31,078 --> 00:33:32,355
What happened to the pilots?
770
00:33:32,389 --> 00:33:33,597
Hey, look, just be quiet, OK?
771
00:33:33,632 --> 00:33:34,943
We don't want the rest
of the plane to know
772
00:33:34,978 --> 00:33:36,635
the pilots are dead,
and we're fucked.
773
00:33:37,532 --> 00:33:39,189
The pilots are dead?
774
00:33:39,224 --> 00:33:40,742
I came in here...
- Holy fucking shit!
775
00:33:40,777 --> 00:33:41,985
and I found them like that
776
00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:42,986
and I was like, "Oh, my God,
what do I do?"
777
00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:44,263
And then I went and got him.
778
00:33:44,298 --> 00:33:45,540
Listen. Shut up. Shut up.
- And now it's...
779
00:33:45,575 --> 00:33:47,473
Both of you calm down, OK?
Listen to me.
780
00:33:47,508 --> 00:33:49,096
Hey, over here. Over here.
- OK.
781
00:33:49,130 --> 00:33:50,545
Over here. Listen to me.
782
00:33:50,580 --> 00:33:52,858
OK? I'm trained
for situations like this.
783
00:33:52,892 --> 00:33:56,379
You, go get me a car battery,
a tourniquet and a bendy straw.
784
00:33:56,413 --> 00:33:58,795
I'll have these zombie pilots
flying in no time.
785
00:33:58,829 --> 00:34:00,072
Sir...
786
00:34:00,107 --> 00:34:02,385
We don't have
any more bendy straws!
787
00:34:02,419 --> 00:34:03,455
Fuck!
788
00:34:04,145 --> 00:34:05,560
Alright.
- We're so fucked.
789
00:34:05,595 --> 00:34:07,666
I'm just gonna have to
land this plane myself.
790
00:34:07,700 --> 00:34:08,736
You can fly?
791
00:34:08,770 --> 00:34:10,772
There are two things in my life
that I love.
792
00:34:10,807 --> 00:34:12,360
Flying jets and pottery.
793
00:34:12,395 --> 00:34:14,190
I gave my dick for it.
- Oh.
794
00:34:14,224 --> 00:34:17,089
I'm gonna land this plane.
We're gonna be just fine.
795
00:34:17,124 --> 00:34:18,504
[SHERIFF GRUNTS]
796
00:34:18,539 --> 00:34:20,265
[SHE GASPS]
797
00:34:20,782 --> 00:34:22,508
[LOGAN]:
Holy shit!
798
00:34:22,543 --> 00:34:24,062
[LOGAN GROANS]
799
00:34:30,620 --> 00:34:31,966
Ah!
- Hey, boss.
800
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:35,107
Had a bit of radio silence from
flight 1524 from Los Angeles.
801
00:34:35,142 --> 00:34:37,903
Oy! Well, you know what
they say, silence is golden.
802
00:34:37,937 --> 00:34:40,043
Huh?
Especially from Los Angeles.
803
00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:41,562
Bunch of fuckin' hippies.
804
00:34:41,907 --> 00:34:43,460
Hipsters.
805
00:34:43,495 --> 00:34:45,428
What the fuck is Coachella
anyway?
806
00:34:47,223 --> 00:34:48,638
Where's my baby?
807
00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:50,398
[BABY GURGLES]
808
00:34:53,021 --> 00:34:54,471
Is that a babby?
809
00:34:55,162 --> 00:34:56,887
Is that a bab...?
810
00:34:58,441 --> 00:35:00,270
Oh, shit.
811
00:35:00,305 --> 00:35:01,754
Have you seen my baby?
812
00:35:01,789 --> 00:35:03,204
A bab!
813
00:35:06,483 --> 00:35:07,346
A baby.
814
00:35:07,381 --> 00:35:09,245
Have you seen my baby?
815
00:35:09,279 --> 00:35:10,867
Have you seen my baby?
816
00:35:10,901 --> 00:35:12,489
What did I find?
817
00:35:13,041 --> 00:35:15,423
Oh, you look starving.
818
00:35:16,010 --> 00:35:17,253
Come on.
819
00:35:19,047 --> 00:35:19,945
Sir.
820
00:35:19,979 --> 00:35:21,222
S... Sir? Hi.
821
00:35:21,257 --> 00:35:22,810
As much as I love
that Versace blouse
822
00:35:22,844 --> 00:35:25,537
you cannot breastfeed that baby
right here.
823
00:35:26,193 --> 00:35:27,608
[MAN]:
Really?
824
00:35:27,642 --> 00:35:30,818
Well, I think I can breastfeed
this random baby
825
00:35:30,852 --> 00:35:33,338
wherever the fuck I want.
826
00:35:33,372 --> 00:35:34,580
No, you can't.
- OK.
827
00:35:34,615 --> 00:35:36,341
No, you can't.
- God gave me nipples.
828
00:35:36,375 --> 00:35:39,067
And I'll be damned
if I don't use them, OK?
829
00:35:39,102 --> 00:35:40,448
OK, well,
little science lesson
830
00:35:40,483 --> 00:35:42,554
men don't produce breastmilk,
incidentally, so...
831
00:35:42,588 --> 00:35:43,589
Oh!
832
00:35:44,072 --> 00:35:45,212
No...
833
00:35:45,902 --> 00:35:47,835
It's a miracle.
834
00:35:47,869 --> 00:35:49,319
Oh, God. You're a squirter.
835
00:35:49,354 --> 00:35:51,977
Yeah, yeah. Milk facial.
836
00:35:52,011 --> 00:35:53,323
Who wants a milk mask?
837
00:35:53,358 --> 00:35:55,083
I did not... Eugh.
Sir, I didn't realise.
838
00:35:55,118 --> 00:35:56,326
Open your mouth one more time.
839
00:35:56,361 --> 00:35:58,604
[MAN GRUNTS]
- Oh, oh, OK.
840
00:35:58,639 --> 00:36:00,848
[MAN]: What's that?
That's not Diet Coke, bitch.
841
00:36:00,882 --> 00:36:02,436
Oh. A little in the mouth.
842
00:36:02,470 --> 00:36:04,369
OK. Never mind. Thank you.
843
00:36:04,783 --> 00:36:05,818
Idiot.
844
00:36:08,096 --> 00:36:09,374
Hi, how are you?
845
00:36:09,857 --> 00:36:10,961
This is my baby.
846
00:36:12,998 --> 00:36:15,173
You want some milk?
847
00:36:15,207 --> 00:36:17,244
I got two of these motherfuckers
right here.
848
00:36:17,278 --> 00:36:19,038
[BRUCE WHISTLES A TUNE]
849
00:36:19,073 --> 00:36:20,868
[DISTANT TECHNO MUSIC]
850
00:36:25,079 --> 00:36:26,770
[HE MUFFLES WORDS]
851
00:36:27,461 --> 00:36:28,945
[HE MUFFLES SCREAMS]
852
00:36:30,981 --> 00:36:32,707
[LOGAN SNORTS AND BELCHES]
853
00:36:34,122 --> 00:36:36,194
Oh, shit, I have a boner.
854
00:36:37,988 --> 00:36:39,542
Oh, no, no, no, no.
855
00:36:40,612 --> 00:36:43,097
Oh, no, no.
856
00:36:43,131 --> 00:36:45,237
No, sir. Please wake up, sir.
857
00:36:45,272 --> 00:36:46,928
Please wake up, sir.
858
00:36:46,963 --> 00:36:48,965
Please wake up, si... Ah!
859
00:36:48,999 --> 00:36:50,898
Oh, God, sir! OK.
860
00:36:50,932 --> 00:36:53,280
OK. Come on. Please wake up.
861
00:36:56,179 --> 00:36:58,837
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven.
862
00:36:58,871 --> 00:37:00,977
Please wake up, please wake up,
please wake up.
863
00:37:03,324 --> 00:37:08,226
Oh, God! No, no, no, no, no!
864
00:37:08,260 --> 00:37:09,917
OK! OK!
865
00:37:09,951 --> 00:37:11,781
Sir, please wake up!
866
00:37:11,815 --> 00:37:12,920
Please wake up, sir.
867
00:37:12,954 --> 00:37:15,785
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight.
868
00:37:19,996 --> 00:37:21,169
[HE INHALES DEEPLY]
869
00:37:21,204 --> 00:37:23,206
[HE BLOWS INTO FACE]
870
00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:24,932
[HE SOBS AND BLOWS]
871
00:37:25,312 --> 00:37:26,934
[HE MOANS]
872
00:37:29,316 --> 00:37:31,559
Please, sir!
873
00:37:32,180 --> 00:37:34,424
Please!
874
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:38,980
Fuck!
875
00:37:39,015 --> 00:37:40,879
[AFRICAN MUSIC PLAYS]
876
00:37:40,913 --> 00:37:42,363
[BABY GURGLES]
877
00:37:44,054 --> 00:37:47,023
Someday,
all of this will be yours.
878
00:37:54,651 --> 00:37:56,135
[MAN]:
Get on top of my shit!
879
00:37:56,170 --> 00:37:57,482
Come here! Yeah...
880
00:37:59,380 --> 00:38:01,244
Juanpa.
- What do you want?
881
00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:02,487
It's getting
to the best part!
882
00:38:02,521 --> 00:38:04,282
She's putting the tongue...
oh, look at it.
883
00:38:04,316 --> 00:38:05,835
Oh, yeah.
884
00:38:05,869 --> 00:38:08,596
Damn it, Loge.
What do you want, bro? Carajo!
885
00:38:08,631 --> 00:38:10,046
[MAN]:
Can I get that crowbar back?
886
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:11,427
Juanpa, we need to talk.
887
00:38:12,151 --> 00:38:13,291
Now.
888
00:38:13,705 --> 00:38:14,637
Now.
889
00:38:16,086 --> 00:38:17,329
[JUANPA]:
Oh, shit.
890
00:38:20,470 --> 00:38:23,162
You're taking a selfie?
- Yeah, it's lit.
891
00:38:23,197 --> 00:38:26,304
Oh... Should we try CPR?
892
00:38:26,338 --> 00:38:28,409
No, man, I already tried that.
893
00:38:28,444 --> 00:38:30,238
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
894
00:38:30,273 --> 00:38:32,448
So this means
you made out with a guy?
895
00:38:32,482 --> 00:38:35,071
Juanpa, this is not the time.
- Was it nice?
896
00:38:35,105 --> 00:38:36,314
What?
- Must be nice.
897
00:38:36,348 --> 00:38:37,936
Dude! Focus, please!
898
00:38:37,970 --> 00:38:39,317
Yeah, um...
899
00:38:44,529 --> 00:38:45,806
They're actually dead, bro.
900
00:38:46,772 --> 00:38:48,567
Oh, nah, nah, nah.
901
00:38:50,258 --> 00:38:51,846
Wh... What should we do?
902
00:38:51,881 --> 00:38:54,677
I don't know.
Maybe someone else has a plan.
903
00:38:54,711 --> 00:38:57,680
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's a good idea, Loge.
904
00:38:57,714 --> 00:38:59,509
Who should we get?
Brittany Furlan?
905
00:38:59,544 --> 00:39:02,547
Who wants a body shot?
- [MEN]: Me!
906
00:39:02,581 --> 00:39:04,928
Or the guy who makes me doubt
my sexuality, huh?
907
00:39:04,963 --> 00:39:06,551
[ROMANTIC MUSIC]
908
00:39:06,585 --> 00:39:08,415
Maybe King Bach.
He's your buddy, right?
909
00:39:08,449 --> 00:39:10,417
[RHYTHMIC MUSIC]
- Ah! Ah! Ah!
910
00:39:10,451 --> 00:39:12,108
Think straight!
- You're right.
911
00:39:12,142 --> 00:39:13,351
Everyone will panic.
912
00:39:13,385 --> 00:39:14,835
[JUANPA]: I need you
to figure this out. OK?
913
00:39:14,869 --> 00:39:19,080
I need to put my seed into a
woman's vagina before I die.
914
00:39:19,115 --> 00:39:20,427
You go do that. You go do that.
915
00:39:20,461 --> 00:39:22,394
Because I'm probably gonna
crash this plane.
916
00:39:22,429 --> 00:39:24,741
OK, one of us has to succeed,
OK?
917
00:39:24,776 --> 00:39:26,467
Yeah. OK.
- One of us will.
918
00:39:26,502 --> 00:39:28,193
OK.
- One of us.
919
00:39:28,227 --> 00:39:29,574
Yes.
- Probably you.
920
00:39:29,608 --> 00:39:31,852
[UPBEAT TECHNO MUSIC]
921
00:39:47,488 --> 00:39:48,731
Brittany!
922
00:39:50,042 --> 00:39:51,319
I wanna take a body shot.
923
00:39:51,354 --> 00:39:52,700
OK, come here, bitch.
924
00:39:55,841 --> 00:39:56,842
[LOGAN]:
Jenna?
925
00:39:58,223 --> 00:39:59,604
Hey.
926
00:39:59,638 --> 00:40:01,502
Jenna?
- [SHE SNORES]
927
00:40:01,537 --> 00:40:03,193
Hey.
- Oh, hey, stranger.
928
00:40:03,228 --> 00:40:05,264
Where you been?
- Um...
929
00:40:05,299 --> 00:40:07,128
Can we talk for a second?
930
00:40:09,959 --> 00:40:12,962
Are you seriously asking if you
can say something to me?
931
00:40:12,996 --> 00:40:15,205
You're talking to me
while you say this.
932
00:40:16,172 --> 00:40:17,691
So can we or...?
933
00:40:19,796 --> 00:40:21,004
[IMITATES RADIO]
934
00:40:21,039 --> 00:40:23,421
Amber Alert. We got a missing
personality in seat 2E.
935
00:40:23,455 --> 00:40:25,768
Suspect looks like
he's been crying.
936
00:40:25,802 --> 00:40:27,079
I'm not crying.
937
00:40:27,563 --> 00:40:30,186
[LOGAN SOBS]
938
00:40:32,084 --> 00:40:34,432
Vitaly killed him and both of
the pilots are already dead
939
00:40:34,466 --> 00:40:35,778
and I'm really scared right now
940
00:40:35,812 --> 00:40:37,538
cos no one is flying
this plane right now, Jenna
941
00:40:37,573 --> 00:40:38,781
and I'm really scared.
942
00:40:38,815 --> 00:40:40,507
You're the only person
I can trust to help.
943
00:40:40,541 --> 00:40:42,267
OK, that's adorable
and a really good story
944
00:40:42,301 --> 00:40:44,096
but we land in a few hours,
so I'm gonna try to sleep
945
00:40:44,131 --> 00:40:46,167
and you're gonna try to get
your shit together.
946
00:40:46,202 --> 00:40:49,101
Please, please, please, Jenna.
Please, just follow me, OK?
947
00:40:50,724 --> 00:40:52,622
You need to see this.
948
00:40:52,657 --> 00:40:54,521
These pilots better be dead.
949
00:40:55,211 --> 00:40:57,731
[DRAMATIC SINISTER MUSIC]
950
00:40:58,352 --> 00:41:00,078
Oh, shit.
951
00:41:00,112 --> 00:41:02,149
I jinxed it.
- I know, right?
952
00:41:02,183 --> 00:41:03,702
What are the odds?
953
00:41:03,737 --> 00:41:06,256
Hey, you wouldn't by chance know
how to drive a 767, would ya?
954
00:41:08,155 --> 00:41:11,330
We're all gonna die!
- Calm down! Calm down!
955
00:41:11,365 --> 00:41:13,609
[SHE SCREAMS]
- Calm down. Calm down.
956
00:41:13,643 --> 00:41:16,163
Do you know how to drive a 767?
957
00:41:16,197 --> 00:41:18,959
You unlucky bastard!
- OK.
958
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:20,616
Ah!
959
00:41:20,650 --> 00:41:21,962
OK, breathe, Jenna, breathe,
breathe, breathe, breathe.
960
00:41:21,996 --> 00:41:24,482
OK. Namaste.
- Namaste. Yeah, yeah.
961
00:41:24,516 --> 00:41:25,793
That's right. That's good.
962
00:41:26,932 --> 00:41:28,555
There's a murderer on this plane
963
00:41:28,589 --> 00:41:30,039
and I'm gonna have to die
with this loser
964
00:41:30,073 --> 00:41:32,386
and all his loser friends
but it's fine.
965
00:41:32,420 --> 00:41:33,525
Oh, my God, it's not fine.
966
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,458
I'm not even having
a good hair day.
967
00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:36,942
What about my open casket?
- Jenna.
968
00:41:36,977 --> 00:41:38,357
This plane will probably fuck my
face up!
969
00:41:38,392 --> 00:41:39,427
I need my face!
- Jenna! Jenna!
970
00:41:39,462 --> 00:41:40,359
What?
- Jenna!
971
00:41:40,394 --> 00:41:42,085
We need to figure this out.
972
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:44,191
Now, for the last time
973
00:41:44,225 --> 00:41:48,229
do you know how to drive a 767?
974
00:41:48,264 --> 00:41:52,371
No, I don't know how to fly
a 767.
975
00:41:52,406 --> 00:41:53,511
Come on.
976
00:41:53,545 --> 00:41:55,064
So, I'm just gonna go
back to my seat
977
00:41:55,098 --> 00:41:57,515
and look at pictures of my dog
until we crash.
978
00:41:57,549 --> 00:41:59,309
[WORD "CRASH" ECHOES]
979
00:42:00,103 --> 00:42:01,484
Hey, buddy.
980
00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:03,831
I heard you took
quite the little crash.
981
00:42:03,866 --> 00:42:05,799
OK, let's see
what the problem is.
982
00:42:08,595 --> 00:42:10,666
You puked on my bones!
983
00:42:10,700 --> 00:42:12,012
[DOCTOR]:
I'm so sorry.
984
00:42:13,185 --> 00:42:14,842
I don't know what came over me.
985
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:16,637
Ugh...
986
00:42:18,018 --> 00:42:18,984
Are you OK?
987
00:42:20,227 --> 00:42:22,678
[LOGAN FARTS]
988
00:42:24,334 --> 00:42:25,577
What was that?
989
00:42:25,612 --> 00:42:28,062
The flight attendants!
They'll know what to do.
990
00:42:28,994 --> 00:42:29,995
Did you just fart?
991
00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:33,102
But where did they go?
992
00:42:33,136 --> 00:42:34,310
We gotta find 'em.
993
00:42:37,969 --> 00:42:39,349
[THEY GROAN]
994
00:42:40,385 --> 00:42:42,525
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
- Surprise!
995
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,216
[MUFFLED SOBS]
996
00:42:48,945 --> 00:42:50,602
What the hell is wrong with you?
997
00:42:50,637 --> 00:42:52,949
What's wrong?
You don't like pranks?
998
00:42:52,984 --> 00:42:55,158
We don't like what?
I couldn't understand you. What?
999
00:42:55,193 --> 00:42:58,092
Amber Alert, somebody's missing
a sense of humour
1000
00:42:58,127 --> 00:42:58,955
down in the luggage!
1001
00:42:58,990 --> 00:43:00,681
Amber Alert was my drag name.
1002
00:43:00,716 --> 00:43:02,096
[BRUCE SCREAMS]
1003
00:43:02,441 --> 00:43:04,029
OK.
1004
00:43:04,064 --> 00:43:06,169
So, the flight attendants
are nowhere to be found.
1005
00:43:06,204 --> 00:43:07,757
But I'm sure everything's gonna
be fine, right?
1006
00:43:07,792 --> 00:43:10,001
How is it gonna be fine, Logan?
- I dunno.
1007
00:43:10,035 --> 00:43:11,554
But they're probably figuring
out how to save the day.
1008
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:12,935
We're in an emergency right now.
1009
00:43:12,969 --> 00:43:14,799
You can't just sit there.
We need to do something.
1010
00:43:14,833 --> 00:43:17,111
Press this button and
the flight attendants will come.
1011
00:43:17,146 --> 00:43:18,388
Don't press the button.
1012
00:43:18,423 --> 00:43:20,149
That's not for emergencies.
That's for fucking water!
1013
00:43:20,183 --> 00:43:21,806
Holy shit.
- Wow. OK.
1014
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:23,980
At least I have
the balls to do something.
1015
00:43:25,395 --> 00:43:30,746
Oh, my God.
I just hit the jackpot.
1016
00:43:30,780 --> 00:43:33,300
How is this all free?
- You're a mother!
1017
00:43:33,334 --> 00:43:35,060
Oh, fuck!
- Give me these.
1018
00:43:35,095 --> 00:43:38,201
Jesus!
- Damn, you have a baby.
1019
00:43:38,236 --> 00:43:40,618
I was supposed to have seven
of those, but, you know
1020
00:43:40,652 --> 00:43:42,930
taking care of business.
1021
00:43:42,965 --> 00:43:45,001
[JUANPA, VO]:
You can do it, Logan!
1022
00:43:45,036 --> 00:43:46,278
You can do it!
1023
00:43:46,313 --> 00:43:47,935
If you won't do it for her,
do it for my virginity.
1024
00:43:47,970 --> 00:43:49,661
Use your wings, you big pussy!
1025
00:43:49,696 --> 00:43:51,387
[WORD "PUSSY" ECHOES]
1026
00:43:52,975 --> 00:43:54,355
[JENNA]:
What are you doing here?
1027
00:43:54,390 --> 00:43:56,012
I'm gonna drive this plane.
1028
00:43:57,186 --> 00:43:58,118
Oh.
1029
00:44:03,710 --> 00:44:05,608
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you
even know what you're doing?
1030
00:44:05,643 --> 00:44:07,679
No, but I'm a fast learner.
1031
00:44:12,684 --> 00:44:15,618
Great, well,
I hope that wasn't important.
1032
00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:19,380
Hey, hey, check it out, I...
I think I figured out the radio.
1033
00:44:19,415 --> 00:44:21,762
[BENJI]: Air Traffic Control
to Flight 1524.
1034
00:44:21,797 --> 00:44:23,764
Air Traffic Control
to Flight 1524.
1035
00:44:23,799 --> 00:44:25,766
Oh, my God. You're there! Hello.
1036
00:44:25,801 --> 00:44:27,043
Oy! Benji here!
1037
00:44:27,078 --> 00:44:28,838
Been trying to talk
to you guys for ages.
1038
00:44:28,873 --> 00:44:30,598
Yeah, Benji, we're here, man.
1039
00:44:30,633 --> 00:44:32,221
[BENJI]:
I take it you're not the pilot.
1040
00:44:32,255 --> 00:44:34,499
Uh, no. No.
My name is Logan Paul.
1041
00:44:34,533 --> 00:44:35,949
You're not a terrorist, are you,
mate?
1042
00:44:35,983 --> 00:44:40,885
No, I'm a...
social media sensation.
1043
00:44:40,919 --> 00:44:43,473
We're a bit full of ourselves,
aren't we, mates?
1044
00:44:43,508 --> 00:44:45,993
Why don't you stroke the tip
a bit more? Ooh! Wah!
1045
00:44:46,304 --> 00:44:47,201
What?
1046
00:44:47,236 --> 00:44:49,065
What happened
to the pilots, mate?
1047
00:44:49,100 --> 00:44:50,377
They're dead.
1048
00:44:50,411 --> 00:44:52,759
No worries, mate. What happened
to the flight attendants?
1049
00:44:52,793 --> 00:44:53,967
They're missing.
1050
00:44:54,001 --> 00:44:55,623
[BENJI]: Slight worries,
but don't worry
1051
00:44:55,658 --> 00:44:56,901
we'll take care of you.
1052
00:44:56,935 --> 00:44:58,178
Really?
1053
00:44:58,212 --> 00:45:01,284
Amber Alert, missing flight
attendants on Flight 1524.
1054
00:45:01,319 --> 00:45:02,596
[BENJI LAUGHS]
1055
00:45:02,630 --> 00:45:04,356
What was that?
- Aussie joke, mate.
1056
00:45:04,391 --> 00:45:05,668
You wouldn't get the reference.
1057
00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:08,636
OK. It appears you guys
are a bit off course.
1058
00:45:08,671 --> 00:45:11,294
So, I'm gonna punch in
some new coordinates.
1059
00:45:11,329 --> 00:45:13,331
All you have to do is
engage the autopilot
1060
00:45:13,365 --> 00:45:15,954
and the plane will literally
land itself.
1061
00:45:16,852 --> 00:45:18,301
That's great news! Yeah!
1062
00:45:18,336 --> 00:45:19,855
[BENJI]:
You'll be a bloody hero, mate.
1063
00:45:19,889 --> 00:45:22,927
Ah! Yeah! Ha-ha!
1064
00:45:22,961 --> 00:45:24,929
Now you've gotta raise
the autopilot lever
1065
00:45:24,963 --> 00:45:26,447
and engage the system.
- OK.
1066
00:45:26,482 --> 00:45:28,656
What does it look like?
- Big orange stick, mate.
1067
00:45:28,691 --> 00:45:29,796
Can't miss it.
1068
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:33,972
Um...
1069
00:45:34,939 --> 00:45:36,423
Can you be
a little more specific?
1070
00:45:36,457 --> 00:45:40,047
It literally says "autopilot"
right on the thing-o, mate.
1071
00:45:41,048 --> 00:45:41,980
Um...
1072
00:45:43,499 --> 00:45:44,776
Is that all it says?
1073
00:45:45,950 --> 00:45:48,366
Big orange lever!
1074
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,818
Centre console.
Are you bloody colour blind?
1075
00:45:51,852 --> 00:45:55,028
It's the only thing between you
and certain death.
1076
00:45:57,237 --> 00:45:58,272
I broke it.
1077
00:45:59,135 --> 00:46:00,171
I'm sorry, what?
1078
00:46:00,205 --> 00:46:03,001
I broke off the autopilot
by accident.
1079
00:46:08,696 --> 00:46:09,801
Sir?
1080
00:46:10,871 --> 00:46:12,010
Sir, are you there?
1081
00:46:14,495 --> 00:46:15,945
[BENJI]:
Crikey.
1082
00:46:15,980 --> 00:46:19,086
It would appear there are now
a few more worries
1083
00:46:19,121 --> 00:46:22,055
than my original estimate
of no worries.
1084
00:46:23,263 --> 00:46:24,574
How bad is it?
1085
00:46:24,609 --> 00:46:25,644
You're fucked, mate.
1086
00:46:25,679 --> 00:46:28,026
Oh, fuck.
- Oh, my God.
1087
00:46:29,027 --> 00:46:31,374
Oh, my God!
- What do you mean, I'm fucked?
1088
00:46:31,409 --> 00:46:32,720
That's a great question.
1089
00:46:32,755 --> 00:46:36,414
Well, you're all types
of fucked!
1090
00:46:36,448 --> 00:46:37,795
You're totally fucked!
1091
00:46:37,829 --> 00:46:39,589
You're completely fucked.
1092
00:46:39,624 --> 00:46:41,177
You're like a parrot
getting raped.
1093
00:46:41,212 --> 00:46:42,765
[BENJI SQUAWKS]
You're fucked!
1094
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:44,042
[MIMICKING PARROT]:
I'm fucked!
1095
00:46:44,077 --> 00:46:45,872
You're a little boy
in a windowless van.
1096
00:46:45,906 --> 00:46:47,632
You're fucked
and you're gonna die.
1097
00:46:47,666 --> 00:46:50,428
Speaking of which, I don't
like talking to dead people
1098
00:46:50,462 --> 00:46:51,670
it really bums me out.
1099
00:46:51,705 --> 00:46:54,156
So I'm gonna cut out early
for lunch, if no one minds
1100
00:46:54,190 --> 00:46:56,330
and grab a quick bite, right?
1101
00:46:56,365 --> 00:46:58,436
Feeling a bit peckish.
- I mind!
1102
00:46:58,470 --> 00:47:00,300
I definitely do mind!
- Well, too bad.
1103
00:47:00,334 --> 00:47:02,509
You're gonna be dead soon.
Benji out.
1104
00:47:03,475 --> 00:47:05,132
Alright, who wants tacos?
1105
00:47:07,514 --> 00:47:08,549
What a dick.
1106
00:47:08,584 --> 00:47:09,827
How could you break
the autopilot?
1107
00:47:09,861 --> 00:47:11,587
Hey, it's not like
I did it on purpose.
1108
00:47:11,621 --> 00:47:13,623
Oh. Oh, you didn't do it
on purpose?
1109
00:47:13,658 --> 00:47:16,005
Well, that's great. Everything's
just fine then, right?
1110
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,421
Cos Logan didn't do it
on purpose.
1111
00:47:18,456 --> 00:47:20,044
Give me this damn thing.
1112
00:47:20,561 --> 00:47:22,356
No, no, no, no, no!
1113
00:47:22,391 --> 00:47:25,704
[LISPING]: Pay no mind
to the sound of struggle.
1114
00:47:25,739 --> 00:47:27,637
We are flying as smooth as silk.
1115
00:47:27,672 --> 00:47:30,330
[JENNA]: No, they need to know!
- Jenna, no, they don't.
1116
00:47:30,364 --> 00:47:33,091
I know you're probably terrified
right now and I am, too
1117
00:47:33,126 --> 00:47:35,266
but what you're doing
is not helping.
1118
00:47:36,163 --> 00:47:39,718
So, just give me the intercom.
1119
00:47:39,753 --> 00:47:40,858
Just, hey...
1120
00:47:41,341 --> 00:47:42,687
Fuck!
1121
00:47:42,721 --> 00:47:45,932
Hey, guys, if you look to your
right and also to your left
1122
00:47:45,966 --> 00:47:49,349
you'll notice the vast expanse
of the Pacific Ocean.
1123
00:47:49,383 --> 00:47:53,215
Oh, the ocean.
That's so romantic!
1124
00:47:53,249 --> 00:47:54,975
OK, take your fucking shot,
Juanpa.
1125
00:47:56,114 --> 00:47:58,737
Woo-woo-woo-woo-wooooo!
1126
00:47:58,772 --> 00:48:01,430
We have to do something!
- Yeah.
1127
00:48:01,464 --> 00:48:03,535
Yeah. I mean,
it can't be that hard, right?
1128
00:48:04,951 --> 00:48:06,228
Well, first,
we can move these bodies.
1129
00:48:06,262 --> 00:48:07,954
They're really starting
to smell.
1130
00:48:08,609 --> 00:48:10,059
Yeah. Off we go.
1131
00:48:10,094 --> 00:48:13,373
Wow. I'm impressed.
- Yeah, moving corpses is easy.
1132
00:48:13,407 --> 00:48:14,892
[LOGAN GAGS]
1133
00:48:14,926 --> 00:48:16,617
Oh, no, just dry heaves.
1134
00:48:16,652 --> 00:48:18,378
OK.
- I don't throw up.
1135
00:48:18,412 --> 00:48:19,758
[BRITTANY MOANS]
1136
00:48:19,793 --> 00:48:22,313
[SHE BURPS AND FARTS]
- I'm sorry.
1137
00:48:22,692 --> 00:48:23,659
Nice.
1138
00:48:31,839 --> 00:48:33,462
Out of my way.
1139
00:48:33,496 --> 00:48:35,257
Have you seen my baby?
1140
00:48:35,291 --> 00:48:36,465
No?
1141
00:48:36,499 --> 00:48:37,811
Oh, your breath stinks.
1142
00:48:37,845 --> 00:48:39,295
Have you seen my baby?
1143
00:48:41,125 --> 00:48:44,128
Oh, sir!
Have you seen my baby?
1144
00:48:45,232 --> 00:48:46,785
Your baby's missing?
- Yeah.
1145
00:48:46,820 --> 00:48:48,166
[HE GASPS]
1146
00:48:48,201 --> 00:48:51,480
I know your plight.
I'm a new mother myself.
1147
00:48:51,514 --> 00:48:52,584
Oh.
1148
00:48:52,619 --> 00:48:54,207
I'll help you find him.
What does he look like?
1149
00:48:54,241 --> 00:48:56,485
Uh... he's a baby.
- Right.
1150
00:48:56,519 --> 00:48:59,591
And he's white,
and he's got little arms.
1151
00:49:00,523 --> 00:49:01,697
Is this your baby?
1152
00:49:04,182 --> 00:49:05,114
Hey.
1153
00:49:05,839 --> 00:49:08,946
Um... I don't think so.
1154
00:49:09,739 --> 00:49:11,500
"I don't think so."
1155
00:49:11,534 --> 00:49:14,848
Look, lady, I'm not Dog
The Fucking Baby Hunter.
1156
00:49:14,882 --> 00:49:16,229
OK, this baby that I found
1157
00:49:16,263 --> 00:49:18,231
simply doesn't have the
wherewithal to raise itself
1158
00:49:18,265 --> 00:49:19,749
and that's where I come in.
1159
00:49:19,784 --> 00:49:21,199
That really looks...
1160
00:49:21,234 --> 00:49:22,821
Why you touch baby?
1161
00:49:22,856 --> 00:49:24,409
Who do you think you are?
1162
00:49:24,444 --> 00:49:27,723
Walking around drunk
around this plane losing babies?
1163
00:49:27,757 --> 00:49:29,794
You smell like
Jack Daniels's dick.
1164
00:49:29,828 --> 00:49:31,071
I'm so sorry.
1165
00:49:31,106 --> 00:49:32,970
You get the fuck out
of our face.
1166
00:49:33,004 --> 00:49:34,523
And you leave us alone.
1167
00:49:35,351 --> 00:49:37,698
Why do men hate me so much?
1168
00:49:37,733 --> 00:49:39,804
Because it's so easy.
1169
00:49:39,838 --> 00:49:41,047
[SHE SOBS]
1170
00:49:41,081 --> 00:49:43,981
Boo fucking hoo!
1171
00:49:44,015 --> 00:49:46,190
[FLIGHT ATTENDANTS WHIMPER]
1172
00:49:46,224 --> 00:49:49,469
Do you know what would be
a hilarious prank?
1173
00:49:51,022 --> 00:49:52,230
[THEY SCREAM]
1174
00:49:52,265 --> 00:49:55,716
If we poison every passenger
on this plane.
1175
00:49:55,751 --> 00:49:57,028
No! No!
1176
00:49:57,063 --> 00:49:59,997
Tell me where the emergency
oxygen supply is.
1177
00:50:00,031 --> 00:50:01,343
Never.
- Never?
1178
00:50:01,377 --> 00:50:03,241
Never. Never.
- Never?
1179
00:50:05,554 --> 00:50:06,762
Never?
- No.
1180
00:50:06,796 --> 00:50:08,971
Tell me how I access the oxygen
1181
00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:11,525
or I'll feed this dog cat food.
1182
00:50:12,457 --> 00:50:14,045
No!
- No!
1183
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:15,322
Oh, my God! No!
1184
00:50:15,357 --> 00:50:18,084
No! Oh, my God, you wouldn't!
1185
00:50:18,118 --> 00:50:20,741
Oh, God! That poor dog!
1186
00:50:21,259 --> 00:50:22,640
No!
1187
00:50:22,674 --> 00:50:25,022
[VITALY]:
Good doggy. Mmm.
1188
00:50:25,056 --> 00:50:27,886
No! No, he's not supposed
to eat that! No!
1189
00:50:27,921 --> 00:50:29,992
It's in the safety glass
by the door!
1190
00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:31,925
No, why did you tell him,
you bitch?
1191
00:50:31,959 --> 00:50:33,961
You're gonna pay for that.
- Thank you.
1192
00:50:33,996 --> 00:50:35,066
Thank you.
1193
00:50:35,101 --> 00:50:36,826
[BRUCE]:
You're gonna pay for that.
1194
00:50:36,861 --> 00:50:38,104
[BRUCE SOBS]
1195
00:50:41,624 --> 00:50:43,385
Oh, God, no!
1196
00:50:43,419 --> 00:50:45,352
[FLIGHT ATTENDANTS SCREAM]
1197
00:50:46,112 --> 00:50:47,596
One for me!
1198
00:50:47,630 --> 00:50:48,804
[THEY SCREAM]
1199
00:50:50,737 --> 00:50:52,152
One for you.
1200
00:50:52,187 --> 00:50:54,223
[BRUCE]:
What are you doing?
1201
00:50:56,191 --> 00:50:59,711
By the way, it was dog food
the whole time! Ha!
1202
00:50:59,746 --> 00:51:03,198
What kind of a man feeds a dog
cat food?
1203
00:51:04,026 --> 00:51:05,027
[BRUCE]:
No!
1204
00:51:05,062 --> 00:51:07,719
How sick do you think I am?
1205
00:51:09,825 --> 00:51:11,206
[HE SCREAMS]
1206
00:51:11,240 --> 00:51:13,932
It's just a prank! Ha!
1207
00:51:13,967 --> 00:51:16,211
You're probably not gonna
believe me when I tell you this
1208
00:51:16,245 --> 00:51:17,557
but...
- What?
1209
00:51:17,591 --> 00:51:20,801
You know, most people think
I'm this huge slut.
1210
00:51:20,836 --> 00:51:22,458
[SHE CHUCKLES]
1211
00:51:22,493 --> 00:51:24,943
But I've actually never even
been with a man before.
1212
00:51:24,978 --> 00:51:26,255
Really?
- Mm.
1213
00:51:26,290 --> 00:51:27,877
Maybe I can help you with that.
1214
00:51:27,912 --> 00:51:30,052
I've got some experience
in that arena.
1215
00:51:30,087 --> 00:51:31,364
[SHE SNORTS]
1216
00:51:32,882 --> 00:51:35,333
Aren't you, like, 16?
- 17.
1217
00:51:35,368 --> 00:51:39,337
Oh, sorry, 17.
My God, you're still illegal.
1218
00:51:39,372 --> 00:51:40,821
Hey, so what?
We're all gonna die!
1219
00:51:40,856 --> 00:51:42,029
What?
1220
00:51:42,064 --> 00:51:43,893
OK, look,
my dick can't handle any more.
1221
00:51:43,928 --> 00:51:46,310
The pilots are dead
and Logan's flying the plane.
1222
00:51:46,344 --> 00:51:48,588
[SHE LAUGHS]
- What?
1223
00:51:48,622 --> 00:51:51,038
You're so cute, and funny,
and Mexican.
1224
00:51:51,073 --> 00:51:53,144
It's not funny.
I took a picture.
1225
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:57,493
Who's flying the plane?
1226
00:51:57,528 --> 00:52:00,393
Logan's flying
the fucking plane, alright?
1227
00:52:00,427 --> 00:52:03,361
Listen, we've got nothing else
left to lose.
1228
00:52:03,396 --> 00:52:05,363
This is either the most
elaborate pick-up line
1229
00:52:05,398 --> 00:52:07,710
I've ever heard
or we are really all gonna die.
1230
00:52:07,745 --> 00:52:09,333
Either way, you're fucked.
1231
00:52:10,023 --> 00:52:11,024
Good point.
1232
00:52:11,058 --> 00:52:13,302
[UPBEAT MEXICAN MUSIC]
1233
00:52:19,550 --> 00:52:20,758
Oh, my God!
1234
00:52:22,863 --> 00:52:24,348
[CONSOLE BEEPS]
1235
00:52:28,214 --> 00:52:30,181
The fuck is going on back there?
1236
00:52:33,115 --> 00:52:34,737
Man, how the fuck
you sleeping through this?
1237
00:52:34,772 --> 00:52:35,635
Wake your ass up.
1238
00:52:35,669 --> 00:52:37,188
We 'bout to go down
in this bitch.
1239
00:52:37,223 --> 00:52:39,984
Wait, wait. I'm not on the pill.
1240
00:52:40,018 --> 00:52:41,503
Neither am I. Neither am I.
1241
00:52:42,711 --> 00:52:44,609
[SHE MOANS]
1242
00:52:45,541 --> 00:52:46,542
Oh!
1243
00:52:46,887 --> 00:52:47,819
Ah!
1244
00:52:49,062 --> 00:52:51,098
[BACH SCREAMS]
1245
00:52:51,133 --> 00:52:55,379
Ay, cabron! Ay, papi!
- Te amo, te amo!
1246
00:53:00,315 --> 00:53:01,937
[ALL SCREAM]
1247
00:53:18,195 --> 00:53:20,127
[THEY SPEAK SPANISH]
1248
00:53:20,162 --> 00:53:21,991
There's a solution
to any problem.
1249
00:53:22,026 --> 00:53:24,339
A wise woman once said,
"Shake it off."
1250
00:53:24,373 --> 00:53:25,754
[SHE SCREAMS]
1251
00:53:28,964 --> 00:53:30,448
Simba!
1252
00:53:30,862 --> 00:53:32,209
Ay, Tapatio!
1253
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:35,004
No!
1254
00:53:35,039 --> 00:53:36,765
Give this video a thumbs up!
1255
00:53:47,431 --> 00:53:49,156
Gimme that selfie stick!
1256
00:53:49,191 --> 00:53:50,468
Gimme that selfie stick!
1257
00:53:50,503 --> 00:53:52,229
This is what
panicking looks like!
1258
00:53:52,263 --> 00:53:54,334
[THEY CROSS-TALK]
- [LOGAN YELLS]
1259
00:53:54,369 --> 00:53:56,612
[ALL SCREAM]
1260
00:53:58,373 --> 00:53:59,926
[ALARM BUZZES]
1261
00:54:03,516 --> 00:54:07,382
Yo, Flight 1524! We out here!
1262
00:54:07,416 --> 00:54:09,660
Your boy, King Bach!
It's the movie star!
1263
00:54:09,694 --> 00:54:11,558
Follow me on Twitter! At me...
1264
00:54:12,939 --> 00:54:14,043
Fuck you, Vitaly!
1265
00:54:17,219 --> 00:54:18,324
Brittany?
1266
00:54:18,876 --> 00:54:19,911
Brittany?
1267
00:54:19,946 --> 00:54:21,327
Brittany, wake up.
1268
00:54:21,361 --> 00:54:22,707
Wake up, wake up.
1269
00:54:24,122 --> 00:54:25,641
You're being selfish!
1270
00:54:25,676 --> 00:54:28,023
I need this!
I can't die a virgin.
1271
00:54:28,057 --> 00:54:29,611
[HE SHOUTS]
1272
00:54:29,645 --> 00:54:32,061
Jesus, Maria!
Are you there?
1273
00:54:32,096 --> 00:54:34,305
Leave Brittany alone!
1274
00:54:42,002 --> 00:54:43,625
Hey, guys, Nick Bateman here.
1275
00:54:43,659 --> 00:54:46,800
Now, all my life,
people have been telling me
1276
00:54:46,835 --> 00:54:48,008
I'm really good-looking.
1277
00:54:48,043 --> 00:54:49,941
That I turn straight guys gay
1278
00:54:49,976 --> 00:54:51,149
lesbians straight
1279
00:54:51,184 --> 00:54:53,255
gay guys... gayer.
1280
00:54:53,290 --> 00:54:54,739
But you know what?
1281
00:54:54,774 --> 00:54:57,224
There's more to me
than just a pretty face.
1282
00:54:57,259 --> 00:54:59,986
I'm also a junior pilot.
- [PASSENGERS GASP]
1283
00:55:00,020 --> 00:55:02,229
Now, I don't know what's going
on back there
1284
00:55:02,264 --> 00:55:03,921
but I'm either gonna
save the day
1285
00:55:04,749 --> 00:55:05,888
or die trying.
1286
00:55:05,923 --> 00:55:07,131
Fuck yeah, man!
1287
00:55:07,165 --> 00:55:08,615
Fuckin' do it!
1288
00:55:08,650 --> 00:55:10,652
Hoo-rah!
- [ALL]: Hoo-rah!
1289
00:55:10,686 --> 00:55:13,586
Yeah! Let's do this!
Let's do this!
1290
00:55:19,385 --> 00:55:20,627
[HE SNIFFS]
1291
00:55:24,597 --> 00:55:26,668
[VITALY]:
Hey, you. Yakuza!
1292
00:55:26,702 --> 00:55:28,808
Did you see anything? Hmm?
1293
00:55:29,843 --> 00:55:30,948
Jackie Chan?
1294
00:55:30,982 --> 00:55:32,018
Jackie?
1295
00:55:32,052 --> 00:55:33,778
You? You see anything?
1296
00:55:33,813 --> 00:55:35,332
No? Shh.
1297
00:55:47,861 --> 00:55:49,138
[VITALY ON INTERCOM]:
Hello, everybody
1298
00:55:49,173 --> 00:55:51,244
it's the homosexual
flight helper.
1299
00:55:51,278 --> 00:55:53,729
The cabin pressure's
still so low.
1300
00:55:53,764 --> 00:55:56,353
Please put your oxygen masks
back on.
1301
00:55:56,387 --> 00:55:57,526
Thank you.
1302
00:56:09,331 --> 00:56:10,608
What...?
1303
00:56:10,643 --> 00:56:11,920
[BRUCE, VO]:
Don't do it, Logan.
1304
00:56:11,954 --> 00:56:14,578
Vitaly Cosby-ed
the oxygen supply.
1305
00:56:14,612 --> 00:56:16,580
God speed, my little cream pie.
1306
00:56:16,614 --> 00:56:18,513
Jenna, wait, don't put that on.
1307
00:56:18,823 --> 00:56:19,721
Why?
1308
00:56:19,755 --> 00:56:21,136
Something's wrong
with the oxygen.
1309
00:56:22,240 --> 00:56:23,414
How do you know?
1310
00:56:23,897 --> 00:56:25,140
I hear gay people.
1311
00:56:28,315 --> 00:56:29,834
I have to go find him.
1312
00:56:29,869 --> 00:56:31,422
Logan, no! Please!
1313
00:56:31,836 --> 00:56:32,768
Don't!
1314
00:56:34,977 --> 00:56:35,909
Damn it.
1315
00:56:37,635 --> 00:56:39,154
Hey, you!
- [LOGAN GROANS]
1316
00:56:41,846 --> 00:56:43,814
[AIR HISSES]
- [VITALY GRUNTS]
1317
00:56:47,576 --> 00:56:48,957
[LOGAN YELLS]
1318
00:56:49,785 --> 00:56:50,717
Ah! My dick!
1319
00:56:52,132 --> 00:56:53,410
[BOTH YELL]
1320
00:56:56,274 --> 00:56:57,552
[BOTH YELL]
1321
00:57:03,420 --> 00:57:04,559
Ha!
1322
00:57:10,254 --> 00:57:13,222
Ah! My asshole! My asshole!
1323
00:57:14,431 --> 00:57:17,295
Ow!
I think it turned inside out!
1324
00:57:17,330 --> 00:57:18,573
Oh, my God!
1325
00:57:24,164 --> 00:57:25,200
Nick!
1326
00:57:27,167 --> 00:57:29,135
[THEY MOAN AND GRUNT]
1327
00:57:36,487 --> 00:57:37,833
[BOTTLE SMASHES]
1328
00:57:39,076 --> 00:57:40,111
Not the vodka!
1329
00:57:40,146 --> 00:57:42,182
Ow! Wha...!
1330
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:45,082
Oh, shit!
1331
00:57:45,116 --> 00:57:47,740
Holy shit!
What the hell are you doing?
1332
00:57:47,774 --> 00:57:49,604
Completing my master prank.
1333
00:57:49,638 --> 00:57:51,916
There is no social media
convention.
1334
00:57:51,951 --> 00:57:53,297
With all of you dead
1335
00:57:53,331 --> 00:57:55,264
all of your followers
will be mine.
1336
00:57:55,299 --> 00:57:56,473
Imagine the power.
1337
00:58:03,583 --> 00:58:05,482
Wait! You've been pranked.
1338
00:58:05,516 --> 00:58:06,828
What are you talking about?
1339
00:58:06,862 --> 00:58:10,003
It was just all a prank, bro.
Look closely.
1340
00:58:10,038 --> 00:58:12,212
All these people are acting.
See?
1341
00:58:12,972 --> 00:58:14,111
Look at this guy.
1342
00:58:15,319 --> 00:58:20,151
"Hallo. I'm OK.
You have been pranked."
1343
00:58:20,186 --> 00:58:21,256
Nick?
- See?
1344
00:58:21,290 --> 00:58:22,947
Even that girl's in on it.
1345
00:58:29,747 --> 00:58:31,093
[LOGAN]:
Fuck you, Vitaly!
1346
00:58:32,163 --> 00:58:34,096
[EARS RING]
1347
00:58:37,790 --> 00:58:40,137
Oh, shit. I have a boner.
1348
00:58:40,171 --> 00:58:42,173
Wake up, you chiselled brute.
1349
00:58:42,208 --> 00:58:43,727
We are so fucking Mcfucked.
1350
00:58:43,761 --> 00:58:45,625
This crazy Russian, he's gonna
crash the plane
1351
00:58:45,660 --> 00:58:48,076
and he threw out
all the parachutes except one.
1352
00:58:48,110 --> 00:58:49,180
Holy shit.
1353
00:58:49,836 --> 00:58:51,666
Is that dog eating cat food?
1354
00:58:54,013 --> 00:58:56,636
Logan, baby...
1355
00:58:56,671 --> 00:58:59,190
it's dog food in a cat food can.
1356
00:58:59,225 --> 00:59:00,295
Oh, thank God.
1357
00:59:01,745 --> 00:59:02,815
Mm.
1358
00:59:02,849 --> 00:59:05,162
With a hint of Nick Bateman.
1359
00:59:05,196 --> 00:59:06,922
It's just a prank, bro.
1360
00:59:06,957 --> 00:59:10,857
But I can assure you,
your death will be very real.
1361
00:59:10,892 --> 00:59:13,826
Thanks for covering my tracks,
Logan Paul.
1362
00:59:14,723 --> 00:59:15,966
I owe you one.
1363
00:59:17,277 --> 00:59:19,279
No, no, no, no. Not the button.
1364
00:59:19,314 --> 00:59:21,247
No! Oh, God, no! No!
1365
00:59:21,281 --> 00:59:23,111
[BRUCE SCREAMS]
1366
00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:35,123
If I die, I'm taking you
with me, you fuck!
1367
00:59:35,157 --> 00:59:36,711
[LOGAN SCREAMS]
1368
00:59:37,988 --> 00:59:41,647
Oh, God! I'm only 23! Sorta. Oh!
1369
00:59:42,130 --> 00:59:43,752
[BOTH YELL]
1370
00:59:43,787 --> 00:59:45,582
I can't hold on anymore!
1371
00:59:45,616 --> 00:59:47,376
[LOGAN SCREAMS]
1372
00:59:53,279 --> 00:59:56,627
Tell my boyfriend Steve
to hide all the pornography!
1373
00:59:57,904 --> 00:59:59,665
[LOGAN]:
Maverick! No!
1374
00:59:59,699 --> 01:00:00,907
Maverick!
1375
01:00:02,150 --> 01:00:04,152
Maverick!
1376
01:00:08,397 --> 01:00:10,607
That's my bird!
1377
01:00:11,331 --> 01:00:13,333
[ALARM BUZZES]
- [BIRD CHIRPS]
1378
01:00:14,576 --> 01:00:16,405
Oh, God, thank you!
1379
01:00:17,544 --> 01:00:18,925
We're all together.
1380
01:00:20,409 --> 01:00:22,515
Hey, hey. It's OK. Hey.
1381
01:00:22,549 --> 01:00:24,759
[BRUCE, VO]:
Save the day, cum sponge.
1382
01:00:26,657 --> 01:00:28,866
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]
- Hey, Bruce.
1383
01:00:29,902 --> 01:00:32,145
Any final advice
on how to land this plane?
1384
01:00:32,180 --> 01:00:35,079
If you can get to the cockpit,
engage the autopilot.
1385
01:00:35,114 --> 01:00:38,186
The plane
will literally land itself.
1386
01:00:40,326 --> 01:00:42,362
OK.
- [NERVOUS LAUGH]
1387
01:00:45,089 --> 01:00:46,712
[ALARM BUZZES]
1388
01:00:49,300 --> 01:00:50,785
Vitaly, where's Jenna?
1389
01:00:52,200 --> 01:00:53,339
[HE YELLS]
1390
01:00:54,754 --> 01:00:57,205
[PLANE ENGINE ROARS]
1391
01:01:03,314 --> 01:01:05,144
[HEROIC MUSIC]
1392
01:01:06,283 --> 01:01:07,353
[JENNA SCREAMS]
1393
01:01:09,148 --> 01:01:10,701
Nice try. Ha!
1394
01:01:12,599 --> 01:01:13,946
Jenna, I am so sorry!
1395
01:01:13,980 --> 01:01:16,086
I thought I could jump-kick
Vitaly and save the day
1396
01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:18,778
and it'd be really...
- Just shut up and stop him!
1397
01:01:21,091 --> 01:01:22,023
Here.
1398
01:01:23,127 --> 01:01:24,370
[LOGAN YELLS]
1399
01:01:25,371 --> 01:01:26,821
I hope you die!
1400
01:01:27,511 --> 01:01:29,996
This is just a flesh wound.
1401
01:01:30,031 --> 01:01:32,827
Have a safe flight... Captain.
1402
01:01:34,035 --> 01:01:35,174
Eugh!
1403
01:01:35,208 --> 01:01:36,175
Oh, shit!
1404
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:49,360
You'll be missed!
1405
01:01:51,362 --> 01:01:53,054
Do you get it?
1406
01:01:53,088 --> 01:01:55,504
The jet engine turned him
into mist!
1407
01:01:57,334 --> 01:01:58,335
OK.
1408
01:02:02,063 --> 01:02:03,858
You've got a plane to land.
1409
01:02:04,617 --> 01:02:05,756
I got this.
1410
01:02:08,966 --> 01:02:11,728
I don't got this!
- Oh, no, you do got this.
1411
01:02:11,762 --> 01:02:13,074
I don't know if I got this.
1412
01:02:13,108 --> 01:02:14,592
I mean, if you don't got this,
then who got this?
1413
01:02:14,627 --> 01:02:16,353
I guess I'ma need
to get this!
1414
01:02:16,387 --> 01:02:17,837
Oh, this best gon' get got then!
1415
01:02:17,872 --> 01:02:19,321
Well, if it's best gon' get got
1416
01:02:19,356 --> 01:02:22,186
then ain't nobody better to go
and get this then, get me?
1417
01:02:22,221 --> 01:02:23,670
You gotta get it
while the goin's good.
1418
01:02:23,705 --> 01:02:24,810
Oh, the goin's good
1419
01:02:24,844 --> 01:02:26,121
and I'ma get it
while the good is get.
1420
01:02:26,156 --> 01:02:28,399
You gotsta get it!
- I'm gon' get it!
1421
01:02:28,434 --> 01:02:31,230
What the fuck
are you people talking about?
1422
01:02:32,956 --> 01:02:34,026
Get out there. Come on.
1423
01:02:34,060 --> 01:02:35,993
I'ma get it.
- You're gonna get it.
1424
01:02:39,790 --> 01:02:42,344
[ALARM BLARES]
- [PASSENGERS SCREAM]
1425
01:02:47,729 --> 01:02:49,213
OK.
1426
01:02:49,248 --> 01:02:51,112
[JUANPA, VO]:
You can do it, Logan!
1427
01:02:51,146 --> 01:02:52,354
You can do it!
1428
01:02:52,389 --> 01:02:54,909
You're not supposed
to look down.
1429
01:02:54,943 --> 01:02:56,427
Just do it.
1430
01:02:56,462 --> 01:02:59,430
It's gonna go on YouTube.
1431
01:02:59,465 --> 01:03:01,570
[WORD "YOUTUBE" ECHOES]
1432
01:03:01,605 --> 01:03:03,296
You two! You two!
1433
01:03:03,331 --> 01:03:05,747
You two need to land
this fucking plane!
1434
01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:07,887
I did not get laid, Logan!
1435
01:03:07,922 --> 01:03:10,338
[JUANPA SPEAKS SPANISH]
1436
01:03:11,166 --> 01:03:12,650
Jenna, do you have service yet?
1437
01:03:12,685 --> 01:03:13,893
Uh... Yeah.
1438
01:03:13,928 --> 01:03:15,446
Yeah, yeah. Here.
1439
01:03:15,481 --> 01:03:17,138
Oh, this is great service.
1440
01:03:19,968 --> 01:03:21,970
Go and get the last scoop
out of the carton.
1441
01:03:22,005 --> 01:03:24,835
With the Squatty Potty, you get
complete elimination.
1442
01:03:24,870 --> 01:03:26,975
Well, skip the ad!
- I can't! It won't let me!
1443
01:03:27,010 --> 01:03:28,874
Yes, it will give you
the best poop of your life.
1444
01:03:28,908 --> 01:03:29,909
Guaranteed.
1445
01:03:29,944 --> 01:03:32,187
Ah! If I die cos of this
shit...!
1446
01:03:32,222 --> 01:03:34,603
Mm, they're good at pooping.
1447
01:03:34,638 --> 01:03:35,777
Hey, guys, it's Connor.
1448
01:03:35,812 --> 01:03:37,227
Today,
I'm gonna be teaching you
1449
01:03:37,261 --> 01:03:38,918
how to land a passenger jet.
1450
01:03:39,436 --> 01:03:40,506
Flying is easy
1451
01:03:40,540 --> 01:03:42,197
and with the right education
and guidelines
1452
01:03:42,232 --> 01:03:44,579
almost anyone can learn
the secrets of flight.
1453
01:03:44,613 --> 01:03:45,994
Amazing.
- It's easy.
1454
01:03:46,029 --> 01:03:47,513
All you have to do is
pay attention and--
1455
01:03:47,547 --> 01:03:49,446
No one's gonna watch
your stupid video.
1456
01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:50,585
Leave me alone, Becky!
1457
01:03:50,619 --> 01:03:52,483
Fuck you, Becky!
1458
01:03:52,518 --> 01:03:54,244
I'm telling Mum
about your abortion!
1459
01:03:54,278 --> 01:03:55,279
Fuck you!
1460
01:03:55,314 --> 01:03:57,212
[CONNOR]:
Cool. OK. Here are the basics.
1461
01:03:57,247 --> 01:03:59,249
This is the yoke,
it's like the steering wheel.
1462
01:03:59,283 --> 01:04:00,767
But here's the thing
you need to know.
1463
01:04:00,802 --> 01:04:03,391
The controls are inverted,
so up is down
1464
01:04:03,425 --> 01:04:04,426
and down is up.
1465
01:04:04,702 --> 01:04:05,876
Oh.
1466
01:04:06,981 --> 01:04:08,775
This knob controls the flaps.
1467
01:04:08,810 --> 01:04:10,501
The flaps give the plane lift
and drag.
1468
01:04:10,536 --> 01:04:13,125
When landing, you want the flaps
fully extended.
1469
01:04:13,159 --> 01:04:15,921
Remember, we're going for
maximum air resistance.
1470
01:04:15,955 --> 01:04:17,543
Turn the knob.
- OK. OK.
1471
01:04:20,339 --> 01:04:22,824
The most important part of
landing is, of course, the...
1472
01:04:22,859 --> 01:04:25,862
Connor, your sister said you're
looking at anime porn again.
1473
01:04:25,896 --> 01:04:28,243
She's lying.
- That's gross.
1474
01:04:28,278 --> 01:04:30,142
Goddammit, Connor!
- Fuck you, Becky.
1475
01:04:30,176 --> 01:04:32,144
When you get your own house,
you can masturbate then.
1476
01:04:32,178 --> 01:04:34,353
OK, let's just skip ahead here.
- Yeah, skip ahead.
1477
01:04:34,387 --> 01:04:37,356
Once you've done that, it's time
to engage the autopilot.
1478
01:04:37,390 --> 01:04:39,945
The plane will literally
land itself.
1479
01:04:39,979 --> 01:04:41,256
How cool is that?
1480
01:04:43,672 --> 01:04:44,881
It's OK.
1481
01:04:46,779 --> 01:04:48,470
Ah, my phone!
1482
01:04:48,505 --> 01:04:49,816
OK.
1483
01:04:49,851 --> 01:04:51,404
Hey, what's that? What...?
1484
01:04:52,578 --> 01:04:54,994
[PLANE WHIRS]
1485
01:04:55,029 --> 01:04:56,962
[BENJI, VO]:
By the grace of Steve Irwin
1486
01:04:56,996 --> 01:04:58,998
you're still magically
on course.
1487
01:04:59,033 --> 01:05:01,449
Way to go, mate!
- Benji? Is that you?
1488
01:05:02,036 --> 01:05:03,554
Sure is, mate.
1489
01:05:03,589 --> 01:05:06,281
And by the look of it, you're
still not out of the woods yet.
1490
01:05:06,316 --> 01:05:07,317
What?
1491
01:05:07,351 --> 01:05:09,560
You're still quite fucked.
- How fucked?
1492
01:05:09,595 --> 01:05:11,493
Mate, you're missing an engine,
you're running out of fuel
1493
01:05:11,528 --> 01:05:14,082
and you're dropping like
a dead albatross with diabetes.
1494
01:05:14,117 --> 01:05:15,532
Normally, I'd say...
1495
01:05:15,566 --> 01:05:17,637
"Check the cross winds
20 knots from the southeast,"
1496
01:05:17,672 --> 01:05:18,984
but I bet my last dollareedoo
1497
01:05:19,018 --> 01:05:20,157
you don't understand
a word of that.
1498
01:05:20,192 --> 01:05:22,159
Yeah, no shit I don't, Benji!
1499
01:05:22,194 --> 01:05:24,230
Just try to land on
the white line, fly straight
1500
01:05:24,265 --> 01:05:26,577
and pray you don't explode
on contact.
1501
01:05:26,612 --> 01:05:28,614
And Logan.
- [LOGAN]: What?
1502
01:05:28,648 --> 01:05:29,856
You owe me a dollaredoo.
1503
01:05:29,891 --> 01:05:31,720
I fucking hate you, Benji!
1504
01:05:31,755 --> 01:05:33,343
Oy, lose the 'tude, mate.
1505
01:05:33,377 --> 01:05:36,208
Benji, I swear to God,
if I survive this, I'm gonna...
1506
01:05:36,242 --> 01:05:37,761
[BENJI]:
Oy! Wait a second.
1507
01:05:37,795 --> 01:05:38,900
Would you look at that?
1508
01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:40,902
That koala looks like
Hugh Jackman!
1509
01:05:40,937 --> 01:05:42,904
I gotta go bag me that koala!
1510
01:05:42,939 --> 01:05:44,526
Man the fort, Hansen!
1511
01:05:46,425 --> 01:05:49,048
Fuck the baby.
I don't want to die.
1512
01:05:49,083 --> 01:05:51,050
[PASSENGERS SCREAM]
1513
01:05:52,672 --> 01:05:54,605
[LOGAN YELLS]
1514
01:05:55,365 --> 01:05:56,504
[BOTH SCREAM]
1515
01:06:08,585 --> 01:06:09,689
[LOGAN SCREAMS]
1516
01:06:11,174 --> 01:06:14,591
Get this fucking monkey off me!
1517
01:06:14,625 --> 01:06:16,455
[JENNA SHRIEKS]
- [LOGAN]: Don't touch her!
1518
01:06:16,731 --> 01:06:17,663
Ow!
1519
01:06:20,804 --> 01:06:23,462
[PASSENGERS SCREAM]
1520
01:06:36,993 --> 01:06:38,960
Oh, my God, Logan! Logan!
1521
01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:40,617
Logan, we landed!
- What?
1522
01:06:40,651 --> 01:06:42,343
We landed!
- Oh, shit!
1523
01:06:42,377 --> 01:06:44,552
We're on the ground!
- [JENNA SCREECHES]
1524
01:06:45,104 --> 01:06:46,416
We did it!
1525
01:06:48,418 --> 01:06:51,214
Wait, we're not stopping.
Why aren't we stopping?
1526
01:06:51,248 --> 01:06:53,112
All you have to do...
- [BOTH]: Connor!
1527
01:06:53,423 --> 01:06:54,458
OK.
1528
01:06:54,493 --> 01:06:55,942
Once you've landed,
you're gonna wanna
1529
01:06:55,977 --> 01:06:58,324
hit the brakes with both feet.
1530
01:06:58,359 --> 01:07:00,671
Air brakes.
- [BOTH SCREAM]
1531
01:07:04,986 --> 01:07:06,815
[LOGAN SCREAMS]
1532
01:07:06,850 --> 01:07:09,784
Thanks for watching and
don't forget to subscribe.
1533
01:07:09,818 --> 01:07:11,682
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS]
1534
01:07:18,758 --> 01:07:20,208
Oh, my God. You did it!
1535
01:07:23,004 --> 01:07:25,351
No, Jenna. We did it.
1536
01:07:25,386 --> 01:07:28,285
Please don't ruin the moment
with your cheesy bullshit.
1537
01:07:33,739 --> 01:07:35,534
[EXPLOSION]
1538
01:07:38,606 --> 01:07:40,056
We should probably
get off this thing.
1539
01:07:40,090 --> 01:07:42,575
Following a hijacking
and an engine failure
1540
01:07:42,610 --> 01:07:44,612
onboard flight 1524
1541
01:07:44,646 --> 01:07:47,856
an incredible chain of events
has led to the rescue...
1542
01:07:47,891 --> 01:07:49,479
Fuck her right in the pussy!
1543
01:07:50,756 --> 01:07:52,482
[LELE SCREAMS]
1544
01:08:01,594 --> 01:08:02,733
[BENJI]:
Oy, mate!
1545
01:08:03,113 --> 01:08:04,183
Benji?
1546
01:08:04,218 --> 01:08:05,909
You're actually alive!
1547
01:08:05,943 --> 01:08:07,911
I owe you a dollareedoo.
1548
01:08:07,945 --> 01:08:09,085
Quiet back there.
1549
01:08:09,119 --> 01:08:11,363
Genuinely surprised
to see you alive.
1550
01:08:11,397 --> 01:08:13,572
Took a lot of guts to do
what you did today.
1551
01:08:13,606 --> 01:08:14,745
Midnight oil!
1552
01:08:20,337 --> 01:08:22,512
Hey, buddy!
- Hey, man.
1553
01:08:22,788 --> 01:08:23,720
So?
1554
01:08:25,618 --> 01:08:27,206
I failed, Loge!
1555
01:08:27,724 --> 01:08:30,002
Aw.
- I failed.
1556
01:08:30,036 --> 01:08:32,867
Aw, come on.
- I guess blue balls is real.
1557
01:08:32,901 --> 01:08:34,386
It hurts! It hurts, man.
1558
01:08:34,420 --> 01:08:36,940
Hey. Hey, don't say that, man.
1559
01:08:36,974 --> 01:08:39,563
You're still alive.
- I guess.
1560
01:08:39,598 --> 01:08:43,705
Your foreign exchange brother
is still a virgin!
1561
01:08:43,740 --> 01:08:44,775
Nah, man.
1562
01:08:45,535 --> 01:08:47,364
My brother is still a virgin.
1563
01:08:50,850 --> 01:08:52,680
Such a tender moment.
1564
01:08:52,990 --> 01:08:53,922
Hey.
1565
01:08:54,889 --> 01:08:55,855
Hey.
1566
01:08:56,856 --> 01:08:58,237
Por que?
1567
01:08:59,652 --> 01:09:01,344
[HE YELLS]
1568
01:09:01,378 --> 01:09:04,968
Eugene! Is that really you?
1569
01:09:05,002 --> 01:09:07,073
It's been 70 years.
1570
01:09:07,108 --> 01:09:09,766
The last orgasm I had
was in Normandy
1571
01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:10,836
in your mouth.
1572
01:09:10,870 --> 01:09:13,701
Consider it VD Day!
1573
01:09:19,293 --> 01:09:21,605
Bombs away!
- Ah-ha!
1574
01:09:22,951 --> 01:09:26,748
Uh, so Australia's pretty nice,
huh?
1575
01:09:26,783 --> 01:09:27,715
[BRITTANY]:
Yeah.
1576
01:09:29,786 --> 01:09:30,787
Yeah...
1577
01:09:32,685 --> 01:09:34,929
Um... Does that, like, hurt?
- Ow.
1578
01:09:34,963 --> 01:09:36,517
Oh.
- No, I'm fine.
1579
01:09:36,551 --> 01:09:37,725
I got a bandage.
1580
01:09:38,657 --> 01:09:40,486
You did good,
driving that plane.
1581
01:09:40,521 --> 01:09:44,663
Thanks. Couldn't have done it
without my co-pilot.
1582
01:09:44,697 --> 01:09:46,803
What did I tell you
about being cheesy?
1583
01:09:46,837 --> 01:09:49,875
To just not be cheesy.
- Yeah. Definitely stop.
1584
01:09:49,909 --> 01:09:51,463
[BABY CRIES]
1585
01:09:53,465 --> 01:09:56,053
So I've looked everywhere and...
1586
01:09:56,088 --> 01:09:57,572
I can't find him.
1587
01:09:58,124 --> 01:09:59,885
Oh.
1588
01:09:59,919 --> 01:10:03,164
I think it's safe to say that
your baby's gone.
1589
01:10:03,199 --> 01:10:04,959
[EMOTIONAL MUSIC]
1590
01:10:06,650 --> 01:10:08,583
Have you considered adoption
maybe?
1591
01:10:10,033 --> 01:10:11,828
I mean, no, I...
1592
01:10:11,862 --> 01:10:14,486
I thought I'd find him
on the plane, you know?
1593
01:10:14,520 --> 01:10:15,556
Right.
1594
01:10:16,004 --> 01:10:17,489
That's horrible.
1595
01:10:17,523 --> 01:10:19,939
Well, here's some good news.
1596
01:10:19,974 --> 01:10:24,392
When that plane was going down
and I thought we were all dead
1597
01:10:24,427 --> 01:10:28,638
I had one split-second to
ejaculate into this Tupperware
1598
01:10:28,672 --> 01:10:31,330
so I could let my seed live on.
1599
01:10:31,365 --> 01:10:33,263
I made this out of my penis.
1600
01:10:33,298 --> 01:10:34,885
Put it in your vagina.
1601
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:36,301
Make a new baby.
1602
01:10:37,578 --> 01:10:39,407
Oh, my God.
1603
01:10:39,442 --> 01:10:42,445
This is the nicest thing
any man's ever done for me.
1604
01:10:42,479 --> 01:10:43,791
It's pretty great.
1605
01:10:43,825 --> 01:10:44,792
Thank you.
1606
01:10:46,276 --> 01:10:48,382
But it still doesn't bring
my baby back.
1607
01:10:49,279 --> 01:10:51,281
What, your old baby?
- Yeah.
1608
01:10:51,316 --> 01:10:52,869
This is a brand new baby.
1609
01:10:53,559 --> 01:10:55,699
You ungrateful "fitch".
1610
01:10:55,734 --> 01:10:58,288
Give me my seed back.
You don't deserve it.
1611
01:10:58,323 --> 01:10:59,841
You do not deserve...
1612
01:11:01,084 --> 01:11:02,292
Ahh.
1613
01:11:02,327 --> 01:11:04,398
No, I'm sorry! Spit it out!
Spit it out!
1614
01:11:04,432 --> 01:11:06,020
Put it back in my vagina!
- Too late!
1615
01:11:06,054 --> 01:11:07,539
It's too late!
- I'm sorry!
1616
01:11:07,573 --> 01:11:10,542
You wasted my seed!
- No! I'm sorry!
1617
01:11:10,576 --> 01:11:13,648
Put it back in my vagina,
please!
1618
01:11:13,683 --> 01:11:15,581
Please! Please!
1619
01:11:15,616 --> 01:11:16,755
[HE LAUGHS]
1620
01:11:17,963 --> 01:11:20,034
It's going back into my penis.
1621
01:11:20,068 --> 01:11:21,415
I can feel it.
1622
01:11:21,449 --> 01:11:24,349
I have nothing else to live for.
1623
01:11:24,901 --> 01:11:26,696
I'm getting hard!
1624
01:11:27,421 --> 01:11:29,354
So I guess this is goodbye.
1625
01:11:29,388 --> 01:11:32,702
Yep, I hope everything works out
with your girlfriend.
1626
01:11:32,736 --> 01:11:35,705
That was really brave.
Come here. Let me see.
1627
01:11:35,739 --> 01:11:36,913
Bye.
1628
01:11:36,947 --> 01:11:39,018
[MAN]: Thank you so much.
I woke up on the toilet.
1629
01:11:39,053 --> 01:11:40,019
Jenna, wait.
1630
01:11:40,054 --> 01:11:41,642
[JUANPA]:
Thank you so much.
1631
01:11:42,677 --> 01:11:44,058
I don't even know you people.
1632
01:11:44,092 --> 01:11:45,887
I'm your brother.
- I know you.
1633
01:11:55,103 --> 01:11:57,071
[LOGAN]:
OK. Here we go.
1634
01:12:01,869 --> 01:12:02,973
You're excited?
1635
01:12:04,872 --> 01:12:06,114
Yeah.
1636
01:12:06,149 --> 01:12:07,806
This is it, right?
- This is it.
1637
01:12:07,840 --> 01:12:08,910
This is it.
1638
01:12:12,293 --> 01:12:13,812
Are you sure about this?
1639
01:12:15,814 --> 01:12:18,437
I've never been so sure
about anything in my life.
1640
01:12:20,128 --> 01:12:22,165
Logan!
1641
01:12:22,199 --> 01:12:25,582
Hey! Yeah, it's me!
I'm... Logan.
1642
01:12:26,342 --> 01:12:28,654
Wait, you're not Logan.
1643
01:12:29,586 --> 01:12:31,588
You sound different.
1644
01:12:31,623 --> 01:12:32,900
Yeah.
1645
01:12:32,934 --> 01:12:35,937
I'm his foreign exchange
brother, Juanpa!
1646
01:12:36,593 --> 01:12:37,698
Mexico.
1647
01:12:37,732 --> 01:12:39,182
So?
1648
01:12:39,216 --> 01:12:40,908
And I have an accent.
1649
01:12:41,495 --> 01:12:42,875
[HE CLEARS THROAT]
1650
01:12:43,289 --> 01:12:44,774
[SHE SIGHS]
1651
01:12:44,808 --> 01:12:46,292
[BOTH SCREAM]
1652
01:12:46,327 --> 01:12:47,432
What?
1653
01:12:47,466 --> 01:12:49,468
No, I can't understand you,
though.
1654
01:12:49,503 --> 01:12:51,919
Can you say that again?
- [BONGO DRUMS PLAY]
1655
01:12:51,953 --> 01:12:54,439
One more time.
Just say it one more time.
1656
01:12:59,305 --> 01:13:01,100
OK, don't say anything cheesy.
1657
01:13:02,170 --> 01:13:03,448
Jenna?
1658
01:13:03,482 --> 01:13:05,173
It took me travelling halfway
around the world
1659
01:13:05,208 --> 01:13:06,416
to realise the person I love...
1660
01:13:06,451 --> 01:13:07,797
[JENNA]: Sorry, your accent
is just gnarly.
1661
01:13:07,831 --> 01:13:09,350
Can you please
just repeat yourself?
1662
01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:13,423
Uh... I guess you worked out
everything with your boyfriend.
1663
01:13:13,458 --> 01:13:16,633
Oh, yeah, the guac is extra.
I got it.
1664
01:13:16,668 --> 01:13:18,221
I got it. I got it.
1665
01:13:18,255 --> 01:13:21,914
[SHIRTLESS MAN, VO]: Who was
that guy? He was fucking hot.
1666
01:13:24,434 --> 01:13:26,022
You're gay.
1667
01:13:26,056 --> 01:13:27,610
You're a gay man, yeah!
1668
01:13:27,644 --> 01:13:29,681
Oh, my God! So are you!
1669
01:13:29,715 --> 01:13:31,683
No, no. I'm here for her.
1670
01:13:31,717 --> 01:13:33,029
Logan?
1671
01:13:33,063 --> 01:13:35,031
[SHIRTLESS MAN, VO]: Wait!
Just one kiss. It's all I ask.
1672
01:13:35,065 --> 01:13:36,273
OK. Fine.
1673
01:13:36,308 --> 01:13:37,723
But then you have to leave.
1674
01:13:39,484 --> 01:13:41,451
[SHIRTLESS MAN, VO]:
Again.
1675
01:13:41,486 --> 01:13:42,866
Wait, how did you hear
my thoughts?
1676
01:13:48,458 --> 01:13:49,942
[BONGO DRUMS PLAY]
1677
01:13:49,977 --> 01:13:52,358
Wow, yeah, I guess I always
thought you were a little bit--
1678
01:13:52,393 --> 01:13:54,153
[UPBEAT TECHNO MUSIC]
1679
01:14:00,988 --> 01:14:02,714
[THEY MOAN AND GROAN]
1680
01:14:04,612 --> 01:14:06,580
Yeah! Take it off!
- Yeah.
1681
01:14:06,614 --> 01:14:08,098
Hurry up.
- I will, I will.
1682
01:14:08,133 --> 01:14:09,824
[ARIEL MOANS]
1683
01:14:10,653 --> 01:14:12,793
Holy shit.
- Hurry up!
1684
01:14:12,827 --> 01:14:15,899
Why can't you get it off?
- Yeah, yeah, I got it.
1685
01:14:15,934 --> 01:14:16,935
[SHE SHRIEKS]
1686
01:14:16,969 --> 01:14:19,489
Wait, it's... ooh, wait, stop.
- Sorry.
1687
01:14:20,628 --> 01:14:21,767
Is this the right hole?
1688
01:14:21,802 --> 01:14:23,804
No, no, no, no, no.
- No? No? No? Yes?
1689
01:14:23,838 --> 01:14:25,668
No? OK.
- There it is. Yeah!
1690
01:14:25,702 --> 01:14:27,739
No? This one? OK.
- Right there.
1691
01:14:27,773 --> 01:14:29,050
OK. OK.
1692
01:14:29,085 --> 01:14:31,915
Ah...
- Jampa. Jampa!
1693
01:14:31,950 --> 01:14:32,985
Oh!
1694
01:14:33,020 --> 01:14:35,298
This feels amazing!
- I love your accent.
1695
01:14:35,332 --> 01:14:36,748
I love youraccent.
1696
01:14:36,782 --> 01:14:39,233
Talk dirty to me in Mexican.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1697
01:14:39,267 --> 01:14:40,372
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
1698
01:14:40,406 --> 01:14:42,270
[IN SPANISH]:
1699
01:14:44,134 --> 01:14:46,102
[ARIEL REPEATS IN SPANISH]
1700
01:14:47,586 --> 01:14:50,002
[ARIEL REPEATS IN SPANISH]
1701
01:14:53,247 --> 01:14:55,007
[ARIEL REPEATS IN SPANISH]
1702
01:14:55,042 --> 01:14:56,077
Yeah!
1703
01:14:59,460 --> 01:15:01,048
Wait, I have to know.
1704
01:15:01,082 --> 01:15:03,084
What happened?
Like, did she have a penis?
1705
01:15:03,119 --> 01:15:05,017
[ARIEL SCREAMS LOUDLY]
1706
01:15:05,052 --> 01:15:06,640
[SHE CACKLES]
1707
01:15:07,088 --> 01:15:08,573
What the fuck?
1708
01:15:08,607 --> 01:15:11,645
Daddy! I thought you were gone!
1709
01:15:11,679 --> 01:15:14,199
Ah! Oh, my God,
your dad is black!
1710
01:15:14,233 --> 01:15:16,615
I mean, that's cool. He's black.
1711
01:15:17,064 --> 01:15:18,099
I can't stop.
1712
01:15:18,134 --> 01:15:19,204
I can't stop!
1713
01:15:19,238 --> 01:15:22,690
[HE GROANS AND GRUNTS]
1714
01:15:22,725 --> 01:15:25,003
[ARIEL]: Daddy!
- [JUANPA YELLS]
1715
01:15:25,037 --> 01:15:27,384
Your dad is black!
- I'm adopted.
1716
01:15:27,419 --> 01:15:29,041
Oh, my God. I'm adopted, too.
1717
01:15:29,076 --> 01:15:31,181
We have so much in common.
- Yeah!
1718
01:15:31,216 --> 01:15:32,700
I'ma kill your adopted ass!
1719
01:15:32,735 --> 01:15:35,669
I love you, Jampa!
- It's pronounced "Juanpa"!
1720
01:15:35,703 --> 01:15:38,568
I'll "whompa" your ass!
- Run, Jampa! Run!
1721
01:15:38,603 --> 01:15:41,364
Daddy, stop! Run! Go, go!
1722
01:15:41,398 --> 01:15:42,710
Deuces!
1723
01:15:43,815 --> 01:15:46,093
[JUANPA GROANS]
[HE SCREAMS]
1724
01:15:46,127 --> 01:15:48,267
Get it off! Please!
1725
01:15:52,789 --> 01:15:56,655
I love you, Jampa!
1726
01:15:56,690 --> 01:15:58,381
I love you, my Aussie princess!
1727
01:15:58,415 --> 01:15:59,624
You're just like your mother.
1728
01:15:59,658 --> 01:16:01,246
I love you so much!
- Put your clothes on.
1729
01:16:01,280 --> 01:16:02,385
I have clothes on!
1730
01:16:02,419 --> 01:16:03,904
Nice to meet you, sir!
1731
01:16:03,938 --> 01:16:06,527
I'm gonna cut your dick off
and feed it to the drop bears.
1732
01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:07,942
Motherfucker,
I'm gonna kill you!
1733
01:16:07,977 --> 01:16:10,220
Daddy, stop it!
- Get back here!
1734
01:16:10,255 --> 01:16:13,223
Run, Jampa! Run!
1735
01:16:14,121 --> 01:16:15,467
[JENNA SIGHS]
1736
01:16:15,501 --> 01:16:16,710
Well, not bad.
1737
01:16:16,744 --> 01:16:18,884
[MUSIC: "Turn It Up"
by Raphael Lake]
1738
01:16:22,232 --> 01:16:23,199
♪ Turn it up
1739
01:16:26,685 --> 01:16:27,893
♪ Turn it up
1740
01:16:28,894 --> 01:16:31,103
Mr Kangaroo, I just had sex!
1741
01:16:31,138 --> 01:16:33,865
Go tell all your kangaroo
friends I just had sex!
1742
01:16:33,899 --> 01:16:35,901
Come on, give me a fist bump.
1743
01:16:35,936 --> 01:16:37,938
Alright, let's go!
Let's go, baby! Let's celebrate!
1744
01:16:47,292 --> 01:16:49,363
Today, we're gonna learn how
to make a hang glider
1745
01:16:49,397 --> 01:16:51,917
out of cardboard, duct tape,
and a chin-up bar.
1746
01:16:51,952 --> 01:16:54,851
No one's gonna watch
your stupid videos, Connor!
1747
01:16:56,957 --> 01:16:59,476
Logan Paul!
- You're a fucking hero, Connor.
1748
01:16:59,511 --> 01:17:01,444
Oh, my God, Logan!
- Shut up, Becky!
1749
01:17:01,478 --> 01:17:03,204
Let's make
that hang glider, buddy.
1750
01:17:03,860 --> 01:17:06,035
Yeah!
1751
01:17:06,069 --> 01:17:08,140
[CONNOR SCREAMS]
1752
01:17:08,175 --> 01:17:10,453
Ah! My femurs!
1753
01:17:10,487 --> 01:17:13,007
I can see my bones!
1754
01:17:14,043 --> 01:17:15,009
♪ Turn it up
1755
01:17:18,392 --> 01:17:19,358
♪ Turn it up
1756
01:17:22,776 --> 01:17:23,880
♪ Turn it up
1757
01:17:27,297 --> 01:17:28,229
♪ Turn it up
1758
01:17:55,705 --> 01:17:57,707
[HE SCREAMS]
1759
01:17:57,742 --> 01:17:59,951
Whoo!
[HE LAUGHS]
1760
01:18:00,917 --> 01:18:02,125
Oh...
1761
01:18:05,646 --> 01:18:07,268
Bitch, you saved my life!
115877
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