Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:31,061 --> 00:00:34,118
Space.
What is it?
2
00:00:34,227 --> 00:00:37,540
The simple answer is,
we don't know.
3
00:00:37,549 --> 00:00:40,342
Or at least,
we didn't know until now.
4
00:00:40,351 --> 00:00:42,184
Hello, I'm Douglas Reynholm.
5
00:00:42,193 --> 00:00:45,586
And I'm not a scientist, but I
do have a better understanding
6
00:00:45,595 --> 00:00:49,428
of what space is than any
scientist living today.
7
00:00:49,437 --> 00:00:52,791
Where did I gain these insights?
From this man.
8
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,797
The founder of Spaceology,
Beth Gaga Shaggy, no relation
9
00:00:57,479 --> 00:01:02,757
to either Lady Gaga or Shaggy,
is the founder of Spaceology.
10
00:01:02,766 --> 00:01:05,159
A religion, not a cult.
11
00:01:05,168 --> 00:01:07,200
In other words,
when it comes to space,
12
00:01:07,209 --> 00:01:09,642
he's the man with his
head screwed on tight.
13
00:01:09,651 --> 00:01:13,649
This is what he told me when I
met him on holiday two weeks ago.
14
00:01:13,770 --> 00:01:17,772
Space is invisible mind dust
and stars are but wishes.
15
00:01:19,013 --> 00:01:21,050
I mean, think about that!
16
00:01:21,059 --> 00:01:24,012
That means every star you
can see in the night sky
17
00:01:24,021 --> 00:01:26,373
is a wish that has come true.
18
00:01:26,382 --> 00:01:28,094
And they've come true
19
00:01:28,103 --> 00:01:31,457
because of something he
calls Spacestar Ordering.
20
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:35,463
Spacestar Ordering is based on
the twin scientific principles
21
00:01:36,065 --> 00:01:38,101
of star maths
and wishy thinking.
22
00:01:38,110 --> 00:01:42,108
If you'd like to know more, there
are thousands of Spaceology centres
23
00:01:42,950 --> 00:01:44,586
all over the UK.
24
00:01:44,595 --> 00:01:46,867
If that doesn't convince you,
25
00:01:46,876 --> 00:01:50,874
well, then, maybe you just don't
deserve to get what you want.
26
00:01:53,236 --> 00:01:56,033
Wow. You're a genius, Ray!
Love the special effects!
27
00:01:56,042 --> 00:01:58,635
How did you do that thing
where I'm spinning around?
28
00:01:58,644 --> 00:02:02,278
Well, in that bit, you're
actually spinning around.
29
00:02:02,287 --> 00:02:04,228
Well, I'm glad you like
the website, Mr Reynholm,
30
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,820
I did spend quite a
lot of time on it.
31
00:02:05,929 --> 00:02:09,442
It's brilliant, and well
worth every penny of the £50.
32
00:02:09,451 --> 00:02:11,604
£100... Didn't we say £100?
33
00:02:11,613 --> 00:02:14,366
I never would have
agreed to that.
34
00:02:14,375 --> 00:02:18,368
Ah, Jen! Guess who wanted a
helicopter this time last week
35
00:02:18,377 --> 00:02:22,375
and now, thanks to
Spacestar Ordering, has one?
36
00:02:22,496 --> 00:02:23,972
You?
37
00:02:23,981 --> 00:02:27,979
I'll give you a clue--
It ain't these chaps!
38
00:02:28,981 --> 00:02:30,457
You?
39
00:02:30,466 --> 00:02:33,258
You're a sceptic, Jen.
You should be more like these.
40
00:02:33,267 --> 00:02:36,821
They can't get enough of
my Spacestar Ordering story.
41
00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:40,828
Yes, yes, I noticed you've been
coming down here a lot more often
42
00:02:40,909 --> 00:02:42,945
because of all the questions.
43
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:46,627
So, Mr. Reynholm, how did the
cosmos grant you a helicopter?
44
00:02:46,636 --> 00:02:49,910
Well, I visualised
the thing I wanted.
45
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:53,672
In my case, it was a helicopter.
I drew a picture of the helicopter
46
00:02:53,681 --> 00:02:57,515
on a piece of paper, then I
stood with my back to space,
47
00:02:57,524 --> 00:03:01,317
threw the paper over my
shoulder and wished really hard.
48
00:03:01,326 --> 00:03:03,661
But, when you say that you
stood with your back to space...
49
00:03:03,687 --> 00:03:05,768
- Yes.
- ...how exactly did you achieve that?
50
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:08,403
I waited till night time.
51
00:03:09,012 --> 00:03:10,844
Of course.
52
00:03:10,853 --> 00:03:13,766
Couple of days later,
bought myself a helicopter.
53
00:03:13,775 --> 00:03:15,887
Explain that one, if you can!
54
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:19,650
I wish the cosmos would make it
slightly harder to find our office.
55
00:03:19,659 --> 00:03:21,971
Don't worry, Jen,
you'll get your wish,
56
00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:25,978
just as I one day,
I'll get my robot hand.
57
00:03:26,659 --> 00:03:29,817
Scientific mind, believes
in Spacestar Ordering.
58
00:03:29,826 --> 00:03:33,823
Who's getting the
robot hand first?
59
00:03:36,986 --> 00:03:38,586
Hey, you're still up
for tonight, right?
60
00:03:38,611 --> 00:03:40,264
I'll go if Moss goes.
61
00:03:40,273 --> 00:03:44,270
Sorry, Jen. I find music
confusing and annoying.
62
00:03:44,351 --> 00:03:47,148
Roy invited me to a gig once.
I didn't really enjoy it.
63
00:03:47,157 --> 00:03:50,390
You went to the wrong address.
You went to a swimming pool.
64
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,152
Are you sure it's
not swimming pools
65
00:03:53,161 --> 00:03:56,875
that you find confusing
and annoying?
66
00:03:56,884 --> 00:03:58,516
You're right.
67
00:03:58,525 --> 00:04:02,078
It's not music I hate,
it's swimming!
68
00:04:02,087 --> 00:04:06,085
You know what?
I will come, Roy.
69
00:04:13,571 --> 00:04:16,973
Where's Moss? I can't believe
he's missing out on this.
70
00:04:17,774 --> 00:04:19,376
Where are they?
71
00:04:27,180 --> 00:04:28,860
I'm going to have to
go dance at the front.
72
00:04:28,885 --> 00:04:31,178
Aren't you a bit
old for the front?
73
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,699
I'm 31!
74
00:04:32,708 --> 00:04:36,706
Good for you, mate!
75
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:49,634
Careful! My foot!
76
00:04:50,036 --> 00:04:53,133
You chill out, man!
77
00:04:55,724 --> 00:04:57,121
Jesus!
78
00:05:23,338 --> 00:05:25,895
Get out of town! You hooked
up with someone from the band?
79
00:05:25,904 --> 00:05:27,816
- Wow, who was it?
- Norman.
80
00:05:27,825 --> 00:05:30,058
Norman?
Oh, he's the drummer, right?
81
00:05:30,067 --> 00:05:32,560
The keyboard player.
82
00:05:32,669 --> 00:05:35,162
The keyboard player?
83
00:05:35,471 --> 00:05:36,462
OK.
84
00:05:36,471 --> 00:05:38,183
What?
85
00:05:38,192 --> 00:05:39,224
No, it's just...
86
00:05:39,233 --> 00:05:41,826
The keyboard player?
Really?!
87
00:05:41,835 --> 00:05:43,067
Yeah.
What?
88
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:46,309
It's just he's a bit geeky, isn't he?
I didn't think he was your type.
89
00:05:46,318 --> 00:05:49,191
Jen's going out with a geek!
90
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:52,033
Are you sure it's not just
because he's in a band?
91
00:05:52,042 --> 00:05:55,155
Yes.
I really am that shallow, Roy!
92
00:05:55,164 --> 00:05:56,716
I know you are.
93
00:05:56,725 --> 00:05:58,677
Yeah, I'm that shallow.
94
00:05:58,686 --> 00:06:01,159
You are, though. I mean,
you really, really are.
95
00:06:01,168 --> 00:06:03,240
Look, I like him.
96
00:06:03,249 --> 00:06:07,247
He doesn't say a lot, he's more of
a thinker. I think he's really cool.
97
00:06:07,648 --> 00:06:10,845
It's because he's in a
band! Oh, flippin' hell.
98
00:06:10,854 --> 00:06:12,046
Is this your back again?
99
00:06:12,055 --> 00:06:14,568
When did mosh pits
become so unruly?
100
00:06:14,577 --> 00:06:16,449
I told you,
you should get a massage.
101
00:06:16,458 --> 00:06:18,811
Oh, I've never enjoyed
having massages.
102
00:06:18,820 --> 00:06:21,693
I don't like being naked
in front of strangers,
103
00:06:21,702 --> 00:06:25,699
and I can never relax if I think
someone might play Norah Jones.
104
00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:30,258
Who wants to hear another
Spacestar Ordering success story?
105
00:06:30,267 --> 00:06:31,939
Oh, wait, wait! Yeah, yeah.
106
00:06:31,949 --> 00:06:34,501
OK, OK.
107
00:06:34,510 --> 00:06:36,062
Go!
108
00:06:36,071 --> 00:06:40,069
Last week, I decided I wanted
to learn how to do tattoos.
109
00:06:40,310 --> 00:06:41,826
So, I did the business.
110
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,747
Bought a book on tattoos, read it,
111
00:06:43,756 --> 00:06:46,429
and now I know how to do tattoos.
Look!
112
00:06:46,438 --> 00:06:48,471
My helicopter!
113
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,192
Oh, that's brilliant.
114
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,172
Let me see it... Ow!
115
00:06:51,181 --> 00:06:54,034
What the bloody hell's
wrong with you?
116
00:06:54,043 --> 00:06:55,555
I have a really bad back.
117
00:06:55,564 --> 00:06:57,437
You should see a masseuse.
118
00:06:57,446 --> 00:07:00,078
Don't see a masseuse!
119
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:04,085
They're the biggest
con of the 20th century.
120
00:07:04,126 --> 00:07:08,128
I had a bad back, and I cured it,
thanks to the techniques outlined
121
00:07:08,889 --> 00:07:12,891
in this groundbreaking expose
of the massage industry.
122
00:07:19,577 --> 00:07:22,013
Go like this.
123
00:07:22,022 --> 00:07:23,855
And push your back up.
124
00:07:23,864 --> 00:07:25,976
Oh, for fuuu...!
125
00:07:25,985 --> 00:07:28,338
That's worse!
That's way worse.
126
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:29,698
It's terrible, isn't it?
127
00:07:29,707 --> 00:07:31,580
You told me that would
make it better!
128
00:07:31,589 --> 00:07:35,586
No, no, no! That's how I
originally injured my back.
129
00:07:42,376 --> 00:07:43,148
You all right?
130
00:07:43,157 --> 00:07:45,989
Yeah, feels so much
better already!
131
00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:48,671
So that's why I ended up
joining the parachute regiment.
132
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,353
Ah, yeah, the Paras.
133
00:07:51,362 --> 00:07:54,035
That's the one I
would have joined.
134
00:07:54,044 --> 00:07:57,157
But you know, fear of heights...
135
00:07:57,166 --> 00:07:59,278
Were you in the army?
136
00:07:59,287 --> 00:08:03,285
No.
137
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:09,205
Right, I have to do a bit
of work on your thighs.
138
00:08:09,214 --> 00:08:13,212
Hey, you do what
you need to do.
139
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:23,979
Did you see that ludicrous
display last night?
140
00:08:24,741 --> 00:08:26,817
What was Mancini thinking, eh?
141
00:08:26,826 --> 00:08:30,299
The thing about Arsenal is,
they always try and walk it in.
142
00:08:30,308 --> 00:08:31,660
Arsenal?
143
00:08:31,669 --> 00:08:33,702
Whoever we're talking about.
144
00:08:33,711 --> 00:08:35,743
Right...
145
00:08:35,752 --> 00:08:36,784
nearly done.
146
00:08:38,154 --> 00:08:42,151
Oh, thanks again, man, this
really does feel so much better.
147
00:08:43,553 --> 00:08:44,589
Right.
148
00:08:44,598 --> 00:08:45,990
Oh, yeah!
149
00:08:45,999 --> 00:08:47,997
There we are.
All finished.
150
00:08:53,951 --> 00:08:57,951
♪ I love him I love him,
I love him so. ♪
151
00:08:59,432 --> 00:09:01,827
Goodness me!
152
00:09:01,836 --> 00:09:05,831
What-what-what would you
term what just happened there?
153
00:09:06,592 --> 00:09:09,268
Norman says my voice
is extraordinary.
154
00:09:09,277 --> 00:09:11,588
He's right.
155
00:09:12,997 --> 00:09:14,908
This is it, you know.
156
00:09:14,917 --> 00:09:16,628
This is the guy.
157
00:09:16,637 --> 00:09:18,308
This is the big one.
158
00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:21,590
There's nothing about
him I don't like.
159
00:09:21,599 --> 00:09:24,830
When he's asleep,
he makes this sound...
160
00:09:24,839 --> 00:09:28,470
a lovely, little, gentle purr.
161
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,996
Oh, this is a long song.
162
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:45,193
You know, the last few
days has been indescribable.
163
00:09:45,202 --> 00:09:49,196
Good.
164
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:07,755
Hi, Roy!
165
00:10:07,764 --> 00:10:09,435
Hi, Roy.
166
00:10:09,444 --> 00:10:11,935
What?
167
00:10:12,444 --> 00:10:14,536
You OK?
168
00:10:15,045 --> 00:10:17,096
What?
169
00:10:17,405 --> 00:10:19,500
Are you all right?
170
00:10:27,166 --> 00:10:30,237
Is your back still hurting?
Didn't you go to see the masseuse?
171
00:10:30,246 --> 00:10:32,738
Yes, I did.
172
00:10:33,247 --> 00:10:35,378
Did it help?
173
00:10:35,687 --> 00:10:37,518
No.
174
00:10:37,727 --> 00:10:39,438
Are you OK?
175
00:10:39,647 --> 00:10:42,919
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, fine.
176
00:10:42,928 --> 00:10:46,923
It's just you'vegot the same face
you have when you eat vegetables.
177
00:10:51,365 --> 00:10:53,264
OK.
178
00:10:56,526 --> 00:10:58,960
Something happened.
179
00:10:58,969 --> 00:11:01,481
Something happened?
180
00:11:01,490 --> 00:11:05,486
Yes. When I was getting the
massage, the masseuse did something.
181
00:11:08,927 --> 00:11:11,327
Go on.
182
00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:17,167
OK, I'm going to tell you,
but you have to promise
183
00:11:17,208 --> 00:11:21,163
not to laugh at me, because this
whole thing has left me very shaken.
184
00:11:21,172 --> 00:11:25,168
- OK. I promise I will not laugh.
- OK.
185
00:11:27,329 --> 00:11:30,128
He kissed me on the arse.
186
00:11:36,850 --> 00:11:39,606
Sorry, I may have
misheard you there, Roy.
187
00:11:39,815 --> 00:11:41,965
What did you just say?
188
00:11:41,974 --> 00:11:44,406
I was enjoying the massage,
189
00:11:44,415 --> 00:11:47,526
everything had gone very, very well,
190
00:11:47,535 --> 00:11:51,531
but then at the end
he just leaned down,
191
00:11:51,732 --> 00:11:55,732
and he gave me a big
kiss on the arse.
192
00:12:01,534 --> 00:12:05,532
And you thought I'd
find that funny?!
193
00:12:05,733 --> 00:12:07,889
Well, yeah, I suppose I did.
194
00:12:07,898 --> 00:12:11,609
On what planet would
that be funny?
195
00:12:11,618 --> 00:12:14,689
Whereabouts on the
arse did he kiss you?
196
00:12:14,698 --> 00:12:16,209
I don't know,
197
00:12:16,218 --> 00:12:19,970
just to the left of the... the
line that goes down the middle.
198
00:12:19,979 --> 00:12:21,650
The cleftal horizon.
199
00:12:21,659 --> 00:12:23,731
Is that what it's called?
200
00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:26,771
Yes, it is, but never mind
that, what happened next?
201
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:30,611
Well, then I just got
dressed and I left.
202
00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:34,052
OK. Have you told Jen this?
203
00:12:34,061 --> 00:12:36,452
No, I was really afraid
she'd laugh at me.
204
00:12:36,461 --> 00:12:39,332
Do you think Jen's a monster?!
205
00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:41,693
She wouldn't laugh--
This man crossed the line!
206
00:12:41,702 --> 00:12:45,093
He is a member of the medical
profession. Roy, look at me.
207
00:12:45,102 --> 00:12:47,694
Look... at... me!
208
00:12:48,103 --> 00:12:51,798
There is nothing
funny about this.
209
00:12:52,979 --> 00:12:56,575
I think he crossed the line.
I don't think it's funny.
210
00:12:56,584 --> 00:13:01,179
I mean, I was so relaxed, and then
that just tensed me right up again.
211
00:13:02,221 --> 00:13:04,835
My hands were like
that for an hour.
212
00:13:04,944 --> 00:13:08,456
I couldn't get them in
to my pockets to pay him.
213
00:13:08,465 --> 00:13:10,416
You paid him?!
214
00:13:10,425 --> 00:13:14,377
Roy, I've got to tell you, I
think you've got grounds to sue.
215
00:13:14,386 --> 00:13:16,357
Really?
216
00:13:18,266 --> 00:13:19,697
What is that?!
217
00:13:19,706 --> 00:13:21,738
That's Jen.
218
00:13:21,747 --> 00:13:24,217
That's what she does now.
219
00:13:24,226 --> 00:13:26,778
You should tell her.
You should tell her.
220
00:13:26,787 --> 00:13:27,898
What?
221
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:30,018
Listen to this.
222
00:13:30,027 --> 00:13:32,099
Jen, you know that I
went for that massage?
223
00:13:32,108 --> 00:13:34,940
Yeah. You are not going
to believe this.
224
00:13:34,949 --> 00:13:38,180
The bloke who did it
kissed me on my arse.
225
00:13:42,825 --> 00:13:46,300
No, Jen, my masseuse
kissed me on my bum!
226
00:13:46,309 --> 00:13:49,261
My body went into spasms!
227
00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:52,381
My hands were like
this for an hour!
228
00:13:52,390 --> 00:13:54,422
Stop it! You're killing me!
229
00:13:54,431 --> 00:13:58,425
You've got to spread
that kind of material out!
230
00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:01,743
I can't believe this!
231
00:14:01,752 --> 00:14:05,746
So what's the problem? I know!
He doesn't write, he doesn't call!
232
00:14:09,069 --> 00:14:11,944
What, did you think he was
coming on to you? I don't know!
233
00:14:11,953 --> 00:14:15,948
Maybe he's like the Michelangelo
of physical therapists
234
00:14:16,149 --> 00:14:19,385
and that was his signature.
Maybe he does it to everybody.
235
00:14:19,394 --> 00:14:23,145
Look, to be honest,
I don't care why he did it.
236
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,785
All I know is that
I was vulnerable.
237
00:14:25,794 --> 00:14:29,790
I was naked, and he
kissed me on my bottom.
238
00:14:29,871 --> 00:14:33,586
I'll tell you something, this is
not the last he has heard of me.
239
00:14:33,595 --> 00:14:36,826
As God is my witness, no
man shall ever have to be
240
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:40,427
kissed on the bottom unexpectedly
because of this man ever again.
241
00:14:40,436 --> 00:14:44,432
Will you stop laughing?!
242
00:14:46,273 --> 00:14:49,268
This is the first time
I've left before you.
243
00:14:49,277 --> 00:14:52,828
We're looking up legal precedents
of Roy being kissed on the arse.
244
00:14:52,837 --> 00:14:56,188
Don't sue him, Roy.
You'll get on the news.
245
00:14:56,198 --> 00:14:58,149
- Don't listen to her.
- Everyone will laugh!
246
00:14:58,158 --> 00:15:01,629
No-one will laugh! Come on, Jen, help
us bring this monster to justice!
247
00:15:01,638 --> 00:15:05,634
I can't. The band are playing a new
song tonight, they want my opinion.
248
00:15:05,675 --> 00:15:07,775
You know to just say,
"It's great", right?
249
00:15:07,875 --> 00:15:10,474
Roy, I am a person.
With thoughts and opinions.
250
00:15:11,316 --> 00:15:13,671
No. You're not.
251
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,991
Jen, please, just say,
"It's great".
252
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,955
When people like that
ask you what you think,
253
00:15:17,981 --> 00:15:20,021
all they want to hear is
that they're geniuses.
254
00:15:20,677 --> 00:15:22,476
Goodbye.
255
00:15:24,877 --> 00:15:28,393
She... is... evil.
256
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:32,797
Spacestar ordering
success story number three.
257
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:37,758
My tattoo got infected, so
they've had to cut off my arm!
258
00:15:39,118 --> 00:15:42,818
I am getting a robot hand!
259
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,395
♪ In the war... ♪
260
00:15:48,404 --> 00:15:52,399
♪ I am beautiful... ♪
261
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,596
Beautiful.
Really beautiful.
262
00:15:55,605 --> 00:15:56,636
Thank you.
263
00:15:56,645 --> 00:16:00,640
It's just a great song.
Really, really great.
264
00:16:12,003 --> 00:16:14,609
If you put a gun to my head and
forced me to give one criticism,
265
00:16:14,635 --> 00:16:16,602
it'd be that maybe
it goes on just a bit too long.
266
00:16:16,603 --> 00:16:19,759
- Apart from that, perfect.
- OK.
267
00:16:19,768 --> 00:16:22,365
Listen, Tim, Mary's not
going to make it tonight.
268
00:16:22,391 --> 00:16:24,188
What'll we do about
backing vocals?
269
00:16:28,929 --> 00:16:31,480
I'd love to!
270
00:16:31,489 --> 00:16:34,041
Moss, can I ask you a question?
271
00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:35,681
Sure.
272
00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:39,081
Do I have to testify?
273
00:16:39,090 --> 00:16:42,121
I can't make that
decision for you, Roy.
274
00:16:42,130 --> 00:16:44,281
You've just got to ask
yourself one thing...
275
00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:45,982
if you don't take the stand,
276
00:16:45,991 --> 00:16:48,762
how many more unsolicited
bum kisses will be administered
277
00:16:48,788 --> 00:16:51,112
by that lip-happy bastard?
278
00:16:51,607 --> 00:16:54,522
No, you're right, I know you're
right. I do want to testify.
279
00:16:54,531 --> 00:16:57,764
I'm just afraid that
they're going to laugh at me.
280
00:16:57,773 --> 00:17:00,083
What if they're all...
what if they're all like Jen?
281
00:17:00,092 --> 00:17:02,124
They're not going to laugh, Roy.
282
00:17:02,133 --> 00:17:04,204
No-one's like Jen.
283
00:17:04,213 --> 00:17:05,844
No-one.
284
00:17:05,853 --> 00:17:09,849
I've come to realise she's
actually a very odd person.
285
00:17:12,453 --> 00:17:14,685
Well, good luck tonight, everyone!
286
00:17:14,694 --> 00:17:16,434
Are you a big Stevie
Nicks fan, Jen?
287
00:17:16,460 --> 00:17:17,845
Stevie Nicks?
Yeah, yeah.
288
00:17:17,854 --> 00:17:21,850
Oh, God. Thanks so much for
this, guys, I'm so excited.
289
00:17:22,091 --> 00:17:25,126
I've never done anything
like this before.
290
00:17:25,135 --> 00:17:29,131
I can't believe you want me
to do it! I won't let you down.
291
00:17:44,134 --> 00:17:46,729
So, Norman, we've had a talk.
292
00:17:46,738 --> 00:17:50,329
And we think we're going to go back
to not having a keyboard in the band.
293
00:17:50,338 --> 00:17:51,769
Oh, no!
294
00:17:51,778 --> 00:17:54,930
Yeah, I'm sorry, but we'll
see you both again soon, yeah?
295
00:17:54,939 --> 00:17:58,234
Wait! I'm out too?
296
00:18:09,177 --> 00:18:12,092
And the defendant
gave no indication
297
00:18:12,101 --> 00:18:16,096
that he had any intention
of kissing you on the bottom?
298
00:18:16,298 --> 00:18:18,549
No indication whatsoever.
299
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:21,422
He just kissed me on my bottom.
Out of nowhere.
300
00:18:23,378 --> 00:18:24,693
What was the result?
301
00:18:24,702 --> 00:18:28,454
Well, I had nightmares about it.
302
00:18:28,463 --> 00:18:31,059
And I can't stop washing my bottom.
303
00:18:32,540 --> 00:18:35,439
And I find it hard to trust masseurs.
304
00:18:37,580 --> 00:18:41,336
Where exactly did he kiss you?
305
00:18:41,545 --> 00:18:44,976
- It was in the middle.
- In the middle of your bottom?
306
00:18:44,985 --> 00:18:48,937
Well, just to the left
of the cleftal horizon.
307
00:18:48,946 --> 00:18:51,616
In layman's terms,
please, Mr. Trenneman.
308
00:18:51,625 --> 00:18:55,621
Oh, I'm sorry, your Honour.
Just to the left of the bum line.
309
00:18:57,062 --> 00:18:59,138
Just above the thigh?
310
00:18:59,147 --> 00:19:01,258
Well above the thigh.
311
00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:03,658
It was on my bottom.
312
00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:05,978
Although it is true, is it not,
313
00:19:05,987 --> 00:19:09,983
that what some people call their
bottom, others might call their hip.
314
00:19:11,264 --> 00:19:14,419
No, he kissed my bottom, sir.
315
00:19:14,428 --> 00:19:17,824
- But is it not true...
- He kissed me on my bottom!
316
00:19:23,625 --> 00:19:26,501
Why is no-one laughing?
317
00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:29,741
It's no laughing matter, Jen.
318
00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:33,746
We Spaceologists take this
kind of thing very seriously.
319
00:19:33,867 --> 00:19:36,021
Are all these people
Spaceologists?
320
00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:39,822
Yes, this trial could bring the
massage industry to its knees.
321
00:19:39,831 --> 00:19:43,827
And you'll find they take this
case with the gravity it deserves.
322
00:19:45,308 --> 00:19:49,307
Perhaps Mr. Trenneman might be able to
help us with the aid of this diagram.
323
00:19:53,229 --> 00:19:57,229
Could you please place this
picture of the defendant...
324
00:19:59,269 --> 00:20:03,269
on the area where
you say he kissed you?
325
00:20:17,071 --> 00:20:20,667
That was where the
incident happened.
326
00:20:20,676 --> 00:20:23,547
- I think that's accurate.
- Oh, you think that is accurate?
327
00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:27,428
Yes. Only a moment ago you were
quite sure, yet now you only think.
328
00:20:27,437 --> 00:20:29,348
You're twisting my words.
329
00:20:29,357 --> 00:20:32,495
Is it not true that this
may simply be an artist,
330
00:20:32,521 --> 00:20:34,877
proud of his work,
signing off with a flourish?
331
00:20:35,153 --> 00:20:37,229
That is not the point.
332
00:20:37,238 --> 00:20:39,309
Yes, thank you, Mr. Trenneman.
That will be all.
333
00:20:39,318 --> 00:20:41,269
My arse is not a canvas!
334
00:20:41,278 --> 00:20:43,790
I said, that will be all,
thank you.
335
00:20:43,799 --> 00:20:46,390
My bottom is not a
kissing post, sir.
336
00:20:46,699 --> 00:20:49,715
OK, you can dress this up however
you like, with your fancy words,
337
00:20:49,741 --> 00:20:52,395
with your fancy words,
but the truth remains
338
00:20:52,416 --> 00:20:56,715
that that man, sitting there,
kissed me on my bike rack
339
00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:00,231
and I was not expecting it
340
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,312
and it rendered an expensive
massage worthless.
341
00:21:03,321 --> 00:21:04,392
Your Honour, please.
342
00:21:04,401 --> 00:21:08,397
And I am here today so that no man
need be kissed on his sweetmeats
343
00:21:09,317 --> 00:21:11,842
by this man ever again,
344
00:21:11,868 --> 00:21:14,442
unless they have arranged it
beforehand for some reason.
345
00:21:14,558 --> 00:21:17,553
- Will you be silent?
- I will not be silent!
346
00:21:17,562 --> 00:21:19,434
I will never be silent!
347
00:21:19,443 --> 00:21:23,075
I will not stop until
those lips are behind bars!
348
00:21:23,084 --> 00:21:25,594
How dare you?
349
00:21:25,603 --> 00:21:29,599
I trusted you. My trouser
hams are not for sale, sir!
350
00:21:31,881 --> 00:21:34,980
I put my arse in your hands.
351
00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:39,021
I rest my case.
352
00:22:28,727 --> 00:22:31,622
I'd have used my
robot hand for good.
353
00:22:54,130 --> 00:22:55,629
Wake up!
27040
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.