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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:11,803 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,948 ♪ ♪ 3 00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,021 Hello? 4 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,569 ♪ ♪ 5 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:34,261 ♪ ♪ 6 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,059 So it looks like what happened is this individual 7 00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:43,020 broke into your home, burglarized it, 8 00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,480 and in an apparent attempt to escape, tripped, 9 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,941 hit his head, and fell into the pool and drowned. 10 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,402 You know, I was sleeping, I don't know what-- 11 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,154 Well, I heard a noise, I woke up. 12 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,572 All right. And when you came outside, 13 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:54,948 did you see or hear anyone? 14 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,159 No. No. Nothing. Mm-mm. 15 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,411 All right. And, sir, your name is? 16 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,079 Willie Nobody. 17 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:02,956 All right. And you also live on the property? 18 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,499 Fuck yeah, I live here. 19 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,126 That's my little bungalow right there. 20 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,462 Okay, and I see you don't have your fence up around 21 00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:11,006 the perimeter of the pool, is there a reason for that? 22 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,924 What? Fence? 23 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,844 Santa Monica City Ordinance 8. 12. 150 says you must have 24 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,929 a fence around the perimeter of your pool 25 00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:19,931 of at least five feet at all times. 26 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,224 Fence? 27 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,477 I... Honestly, I don't know anything about-- 28 00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:25,312 Nobody told me anything about a fence. 29 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:26,980 I bought the house from somebody. They didn't... 30 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,440 This is the way it came, 31 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,233 and nobody said anything about a fence. 32 00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,069 Well, you are supposed to have one. 33 00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:34,404 Am I in trouble? What does this mean? 34 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:39,242 You seem like a decent guy, so I'm gonna give you a pass, 35 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:40,869 but get the fence put in. 36 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,288 Thank you so much. Thank you. 37 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:49,669 ♪ ♪ 38 00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:51,922 - [Larry David] Can you believe it? - [Jeff Greene] No! 39 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,840 [Larry] Seeing that in your pool. 40 00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:55,758 [Jeff] Who expects something-- I wouldn't even have dreamed 41 00:02:55,883 --> 00:02:57,761 - of something like that. - Imagine! You know, why me? 42 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:00,597 - Why you? - What's in my house? 43 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,349 - Hi, welcome to Netflix. - [Jeff] Hi. 44 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:05,268 Larry David, Jeff Greene to see Don Winston Jr. 45 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,270 Great. Just give me one sec. 46 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,856 - Don Jr. - Don Jr. 47 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,316 Yeah. Don Jr. 48 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,734 How do you have a name like that? 49 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,403 Must be horrible. 50 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,530 Trump has really ruined it for all Don Jrs, hasn't he? 51 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,198 I would not want that as my name. 52 00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:20,492 - Oh, my God. - All right, Larry. 53 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,119 - Jeff. - Thank you. 54 00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:24,037 - Elevators are to your right. - Thank you. 55 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:29,126 Oh, hey. You going to Albert Brooks' funeral? 56 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,502 I have no choice. 57 00:03:31,627 --> 00:03:34,715 Who throws a funeral for themselves while they're alive? 58 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,884 He does. And I have to speak. He's asked me to speak. 59 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:39,553 - No. - Yeah. 60 00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:40,887 - No. - Yeah. 61 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:43,348 - Oh, jeez. - [Larry] Yeah. 62 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,892 - [Larry] All right. You ready for my pitch? - Yeah. 63 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,186 The show is called Young Larry. 64 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:52,190 It's about my life when I was like 24, 25. 65 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:54,609 I lived in Brooklyn with my parents. 66 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:59,281 And my Uncle Mo lived upstairs with my grandmother. 67 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,158 - Mm-hmm. - Mo was in his 70s. 68 00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:02,993 He pushed racks in the Garment Center. 69 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:04,536 Would take the subway every day. 70 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,455 He never spent a nickel in his life, 71 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,207 - so he had over a million dollars saved up. - Uh-huh. 72 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:13,712 So, one day, Uncle Mo comes up to me, and he says... 73 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,798 "I'm moving into the city..." 74 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,675 "...and I want you to live with me, 75 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,928 and if you live with me, I'll leave all my money to you." 76 00:04:23,053 --> 00:04:24,473 Wow. Wow. 77 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,017 [Larry] So, in the show, I move in with Uncle Mo. 78 00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:31,813 And, uh, I do everything that I can... 79 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,357 to accelerate his... 80 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:36,651 demise. 81 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,154 So, how does he try to kill him? 82 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,741 Subtly. You know, like, giving him terrible food to eat, 83 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,284 Reuben sandwiches. 84 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,786 Oh, God! Okay! 85 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:47,662 Making him climb up six flights of stairs, 86 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,331 telling him the elevator's broken. 87 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,166 You know, things like that. 88 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,043 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Young Larry, what's going on 89 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:54,586 in his life right now? Like, what is he doing? 90 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,338 [Larry] Okay. Very good question. 91 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,130 - Thank you. - He's a private chauffeur. 92 00:04:58,255 --> 00:04:59,966 He drives for an old woman. I was a private chauffeur. 93 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,385 I drove this old lady around. She was blind. 94 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:03,637 I never cleaned the car. 95 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:04,971 She had no idea. 96 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:07,182 And so he has this huge Cadillac limousine 97 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,642 at his disposal that he uses all the time. 98 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,562 And I was a stand-- I was trying to be a stand-up comic. 99 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,440 So I was just starting out doing my act. 100 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:16,817 Oh, that's really interesting. 101 00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:18,693 You know, we'll see him do stand-up... 102 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,487 - [Don Winston Jr] Sure. - ...when he's not chauffeuring 103 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,488 or whatever and trying to kill his uncle. 104 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,992 Wow. I love this. 105 00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,619 - I think this is great. - Really? 106 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,746 I think we wanna do the show. And we're in. 107 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:30,956 - Yeah? - Yes, in! 108 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,249 You're kidding, really? 109 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,750 [Don Jr] I love that. Absolutely. 110 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,335 - [Larry] Ah! Oh, my God. - Look at that. 111 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,797 - Purell? How about that? - I'm good for now. 112 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,382 [Larry] I'm not a Purell hoarder. 113 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,509 Remember, the pandemic, the hoarders? 114 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,177 - [Don Jr] Hell yeah. - Nasty people. 115 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:45,846 - Terrible. - They're like horse thieves 116 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,764 in the old West, aren't they? 117 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:51,560 Okay. You'll find that I'm a pleasure to work with. 118 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,604 Don't give me any notes. That's all. 119 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,858 I'm not-- I'm not joking. 120 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,610 [Larry] I'm not joking. It's not a joke. 121 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,195 That's great. 122 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:06,324 ♪ ♪ 123 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,119 Hey. Thanks for lunch. 124 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,871 Oh, hell yeah. 125 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,790 Every time we sell a show that quickly, I'm buying. 126 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,293 So you're still going to, uh, Leon's girlfriend's-- 127 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,919 - What's her name? - Mary Ferguson. 128 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,754 - Mary Ferguson's dinner party? - Yeah. 129 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,339 Leon said she has a nice place. I wish he'd move in. 130 00:06:22,464 --> 00:06:25,468 - [Jeff] Bringing anyone? - Yeah. I'm taking Lucy Liu. 131 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,846 - Really? - Yeah. 132 00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:30,223 - How many dates is this? - This will be our third date. 133 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,766 Wow. 134 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,436 Hey. isn't that Dennis Zweibel? 135 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,354 [Jeff] That is Dennis Zweibel, yeah. 136 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,357 You know, he still owes me 6,000 dollars. 137 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,234 Remember, I fronted the money for that golf trip? 138 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,986 Yeah. I paid you. 139 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,113 Yeah, you did. And everybody else did except him. 140 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,616 Well, you know, I, uh... 141 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,493 I heard he's got early onset dementia. 142 00:06:51,952 --> 00:06:53,413 Yeah. 143 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,540 I better get the money now before he forgets. 144 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:58,793 ♪ ♪ 145 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,133 Hey, Dennis. 146 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,218 - Oh, hey, Larry. - Hey, nice shirt. 147 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,803 How's it going? 148 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,513 - Great. How are you? - Yeah. Pretty good. 149 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:15,143 Slightly awkward, but, uh... -Yeah? 150 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,312 Remember the golf trip six months ago? 151 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,105 - Uh-huh. - I put up money for everybody. 152 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:22,108 And just a little reminder that, uh I don't know, 153 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:26,029 you probably forgot all about it but, uh, you never-- 154 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:28,323 You never paid me the money back, so... 155 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,283 - I didn't forget. - Well, if you didn't forget 156 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,786 how come-- how come you didn't pay me? 157 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,496 What are you-- What are you doing? 158 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,748 Like, are you, like, stalking me? 159 00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:40,126 Stalking you? Nothing wrong with a little reminder, is there? 160 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,795 It's just-- it's rude. That's all. 161 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,380 It's just, you know. It's not necessary. 162 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:44,923 It's rude? I'll tell you what's rude. 163 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:46,758 - Yeah. - You know what's rude? 164 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,677 - What? What's rude? - Owing somebody 6,000 dollars 165 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,387 for six months and never mentioning anything about it 166 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,138 and not paying them back, that's rude. 167 00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:54,349 - What's wrong with you? - What's wrong with me? 168 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,768 - What is wrong with you? - I think the question is what's wrong with you? 169 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,145 - Yes, you. You'd like walk around and... - You owe somebody 6,000 dollars. 170 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,730 - You didn't forget. - [Dennis Zweibel] Is that how you see the world? 171 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,108 You walk around the world and go... 172 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,943 - And you didn't pay them. - ..."Oh, there's a guy that owes me money. 173 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,820 There's a guy that doesn't owe me money." 174 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:09,280 Yeah. The shoe's on the other foot! Everybody else paid. 175 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,991 [Dennis] "That guy might owe me money. Maybe I'll loan him money." 176 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,409 But not you. You decided not to pay. 177 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:13,743 - I know I owe you money. - Yeah. 178 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,120 When I see you at the club, 179 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,997 - I'll write you a check. - Fine. 180 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,790 And then you'll have your money, and it will be wonderful. 181 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,375 Oh. Oh, I see. Oh, I'm the bad guy here. 182 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,918 You're sick. You have-- you need help. 183 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,461 - I'm sick? - Yeah. You need help. 184 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,296 - I'm sick? - You'll get your money. 185 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,589 - I didn't do anything! - You're gonna get your money. 186 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,258 I'm not the bad guy. 187 00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:29,968 How-- How would you-- How am I the bad guy? 188 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,636 [Larry] How's it back there? Comfortable? 189 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,596 - [Jodi] Oh, it's so nice. - [Larry] Yeah? 190 00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,223 - [Albert Brooks] It's perfect. - You sure you don't want me 191 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,683 - to move up? - No. Oh, I'm great. 192 00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,434 You know what, I am so excited. 193 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,311 I can't believe I'm in a car with Albert Brooks, 194 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:43,815 Lucy Liu, and Jerry David. I just-- I can't believe 195 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,734 - we're all going. - Oh, you're so funny. 196 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,570 Oh, I got my Jews confused a little bit. 197 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,572 I got my Jews confused? 198 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,198 - She's funny, Albert. - She's funny. 199 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:54,451 - Yeah. - Yeah. Anti-Semitic, but funny. 200 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,953 [Jodi] You know, I'm a huge fan of Albert's. 201 00:08:58,078 --> 00:09:00,665 And I haven't had sex in year, so I'm really excited. 202 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,792 Pull over. I'm done. 203 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,669 [Jodi] Oh, no, no! 204 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,504 So, Albert, uh, Larry told me that you're having a funeral 205 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:09,631 - for yourself? - Yeah. I call it a live funeral. 206 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,801 - [Jodi] Right. Oh, that's great. - So what is that about? 207 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:16,097 So in the last three years, I've been to five real funerals. 208 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,390 Oh, God. 209 00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:18,975 The idea that people get together and friends 210 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,602 get together and say wonderful things 211 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,855 should be done to a person who can hear it. 212 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,523 - I love that idea. - Yeah. 213 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,442 [Albert] And so it's just a different way 214 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,069 of thinking about it. 215 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,696 I can't stand that all this praise is going 216 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,364 to somebody in a box. 217 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,867 You can't stand that the praise is going to somebody else. 218 00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,370 [Albert] I will bet money this catches on. 219 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,206 [Larry] Okay! You're on! 220 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,044 [Jodi] Wait a second. So he was dead in the pool? 221 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,088 Dead. Completely dead. 222 00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,506 How does the guy get in the pool? 223 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:50,840 Don't you have a fence? 224 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,093 - Mm-mm. - [Albert] That's city code. 225 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,928 [Mary Ferguson] That's right. It's actually a law. 226 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,097 In Santa Monica, you have to have a fence. 227 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,973 All right. Can we talk about something else? 228 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,519 So-- Oh, everybody, uh, announcement to me. 229 00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,355 Mary and I are going on a trip to Asia. 230 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,357 - [Jeff] Really? - Wow! 231 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,192 - [Lucy Liu] That's great. - Yeah. In a few months. In a few months. 232 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,277 We already got our seats picked out already 233 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:12,612 - on the plane. - Yeah. 234 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,155 Uh, reservations already made. 235 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,574 - And where? China? - All over that motherfucker. 236 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:17,867 - Everywhere. - Everywhere. 237 00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:20,410 By the way, expensive trip, no? 238 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:23,206 Fuck yeah, it was. Had to do a little GoFundMe. 239 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,166 What did you tell them? 240 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:29,129 - You must have had a sad story? - I said I'm taking my baby... 241 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:32,215 my baby to Asia. 242 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,259 That was it? And people gave you money? 243 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,261 - Fuck yeah. - I think it's brilliant. 244 00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,096 - I'm gonna try it. - Come on. 245 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:40,974 Really. My baby has never seen a Ferrari. 246 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:44,309 Please, if you wanna send us to Italy 247 00:10:44,434 --> 00:10:46,479 to pick it up from the factory... 248 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,816 Gosh. Look, I'm gonna go check on dinner, okay? 249 00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,484 I'll come and help you. 250 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,611 Susie, I've been looking at your bracelet since I got here. 251 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,363 - Can I... - isn't it stunning? 252 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,823 Oh, it's incredible. 253 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:59,450 I got this at Dennis Zweibel's jewelry store. 254 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,578 - [Larry] Oh, my God. - [Susie Greene] It looks like an antique. 255 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,246 - [Larry] Dennis Zweibel? - [Susie] Yeah. 256 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,248 The guy owes me 6,000 dollars for six months. 257 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:08,083 I asked him for the money. He got completely offended. 258 00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:09,752 You don't need to ask him for money. 259 00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,171 I mean, how long do I have to wait? 260 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,089 Six months, a year, ten years? 261 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,549 When are you allowed to ask a person for their money back? 262 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,384 [Jodi] I don't know. Nine months? 263 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,386 I'm not the bad guy here. I didn't do anything wrong. 264 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,971 I loaned him the money! Maybe you're not the bad guy, 265 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,806 but you need to learn some compassion. 266 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,725 Oh, my God! 267 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,184 - [Susie] Wow. - [Albert] Oh, jeez. 268 00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:27,395 What did you do? What did you do? 269 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,147 What did I do? You plopped down on the couch. 270 00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:30,982 - I didn't plop. - You plopped. 271 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,151 You are so fucking skinny, your arms can't even hold 272 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:34,861 - a fucking glass. - Oh, get out of here. "Skinny"! 273 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,571 - Puny, puny, puny. - You plopped down. 274 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,239 You don't know how to sit on the couch. 275 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,741 - [Susie] I didn't plop. - Did she plop? 276 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:42,243 - Oh, like I'm gonna say. - Did she plop? 277 00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,037 I'm not taking sides on this. 278 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:46,122 - Oh, my God. What happened? - [Albert] The couch is ruined. 279 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,249 - What in the world? - He was unsteady in his hand 280 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,210 - and it just... - She plopped down on the couch 281 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,879 - and it spilled. - It's gonna stain. 282 00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:54,964 - It's gonna stain. - You know what, we'll pay for it. 283 00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,799 What? Excuse me. Excuse me. 284 00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,927 - No "we". You'll pay for it. - No, no. We will chip in. 285 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,179 - I didn't do a fucking thing. - You're completely responsible 286 00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:03,473 - for that stain! - Hey, I got a great idea. 287 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,058 Why don't you two start a GoFundMe page? 288 00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:07,184 - Oh, fuck you, Albert. - Fuck me? 289 00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:09,312 - Yeah. - All right. I'm going with plop. 290 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:11,689 Okay. Look. Everybody, look, there's dinner outside 291 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,482 on the patio, let's have a good time. 292 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:14,859 - [Susie] Okay. - Okay? 293 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,444 Sorry. 294 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,239 She plopped. 295 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,616 - [Albert] That was very nice, Mary. - Oh, my God. Total plop. 296 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,493 From beginning to end! Are you kidding me? 297 00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:25,662 Oh, what the fuck, Larry? 298 00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:28,122 [Albert] Oh, my God. 299 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,208 - [Lucy] Larry? - [Leon Black] Holy shit! 300 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,335 - [Albert] Is he all right? - You okay? 301 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,671 - [Lucy] That's glass, Larry. - Fuck! 302 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,714 [Leon] Oh, my gosh. 303 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,508 Shit, Larry. 304 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,969 - Can you stand up on your own? - Yeah. I'm okay. 305 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,220 - [Lucy] Okay. - Okay. 306 00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:43,763 - So this is glass. - Yeah. Yeah. 307 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,306 And there's an opening right here. 308 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,141 - Okay. - [Lucy] Just hold my hand. 309 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,684 - [Larry] Yeah, yeah, yeah. - [Lucy] Okay. 310 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,477 There's a step down. Step down. 311 00:12:50,602 --> 00:12:53,106 Two feeble things in a fucking row, the fucking wine, 312 00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:54,941 and now he walked into a fucking glass. 313 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,567 He got one more left. 314 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,194 I'mma drop his ass off at a nursing home. 315 00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:02,615 ♪ ♪ 316 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:03,992 [Larry] All right. 317 00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:05,743 So, uh... 318 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,203 Yes, I had a really nice night. 319 00:13:08,328 --> 00:13:10,748 And, um, you know what, text me when you get home, okay? 320 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,500 So I know you got home safe and everything. 321 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,711 - Text you when I get home? - Get some rest, 322 00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:17,422 and then we'll talk later, okay? 323 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:18,923 What? Wait a second. 324 00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,342 I thought I would, uh... 325 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,178 - Uh... - Yeah... yeah. 326 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,054 - You know what, you've had a big night... - Go on, go ahead. 327 00:13:26,179 --> 00:13:28,683 ...and, you know, I just feel like it was... 328 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,352 it was a lot for... for you. 329 00:13:32,477 --> 00:13:34,564 - No. It wasn't a lot. - No. You fell. 330 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:37,025 I mean, you hit your-- -Oh yeah, yeah. So what? I got a very-- 331 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,735 - You hit your face. - I got a hard head, yeah. 332 00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,445 It's not a big deal. 333 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,739 Just go home. Take a bath. Relax. Put your feet up. 334 00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,407 Do you have a hot blanket you can turn on? 335 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,159 - Yeah. - Put that on, 336 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,910 - and then just, like, get cozy. - Can I knit as well? 337 00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,456 All right. I'm gonna go. 338 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:52,832 - Goodnight. Okay. - Okay. 339 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,586 Okay. 340 00:13:56,711 --> 00:14:01,006 ♪ ♪ 341 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,476 Whoo! 342 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,936 What's going on in there? 343 00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,563 The fuck you think going on there? 344 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:17,690 That's where you're going? 345 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,067 This is the bathroom I use 346 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,194 to drop the kids off at the pool. 347 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,779 Why don't you use your own pool? 348 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,322 I can't drop kids off at the pool 349 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:25,907 in that little-ass bathroom. 350 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,658 Now if you don't want me to use this fucking bathroom 351 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,369 all the time, I'll move around. 352 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,496 We got plenty of pools in this big-ass house. 353 00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:34,874 You can use any of the pools on that side of the house, okay? 354 00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,834 Any of the pools down here. 355 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:41,172 There's one pool, though, that's completely off limits. 356 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,965 - Okay? - Mm. 357 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,592 - And that pools where? - And that pool is up there. 358 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,011 The resort pool is not available to me? 359 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:48,888 It's not available to you ever. 360 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,014 How about when you're not there? 361 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:52,183 No. Never. Never. 362 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,434 - Never? - Never. 363 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,103 - I feel you, though. - Okay. 364 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,270 Keep your pool to your fucking self. 365 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,897 - Absolutely. - Okay. 366 00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,190 Oh, that's Albert. 367 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,402 - Albert! - Hey. 368 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:03,945 AB! 369 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,988 - Hey, Leon. - [Leon] Hey, hey. What's up, AB? 370 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,032 Thanks for inviting us. That was fun. 371 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,534 Fuck yeah. Took care of your ass, didn't I? 372 00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,244 - [Albert] Great time. - Huh? 373 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:13,329 Listen, I just stopped by to pick up a photo 374 00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,540 of you, me, and Marty Short taken at Lincoln Center 375 00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:18,167 that I want for the memorial. Can I borrow it? 376 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,545 - Sure. - That's all. 377 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,839 - Yeah. Yeah. It's in there. - Thank you. 378 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,008 This memorial! 379 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,845 [Albert] Yeah, that's it. I love this. 380 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:32,807 Hey, uh, what's the dress code for... the event? 381 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,561 Like any funeral, the dress code is a dark suit. 382 00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,229 Can I bring Mary? 383 00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:42,108 Yeah. Is she a fan? Has she seen any of my movies? 384 00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:43,651 To be honest, AB, 385 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,528 I haven't even seen any of your fucking movies. 386 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:46,863 Okay. Well, there's two on Netflix 387 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,614 if you wanna watch them before you come. 388 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,908 By the way, what about you? Are you all right? 389 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,035 - How's your head? - I'm good. 390 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,580 - Did you get an MRI? - Why? Why do you say that? 391 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,082 - You know what a brain bleed is? - I don't care. 392 00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,709 - You don't care? - [Larry] Yeah. I don't care. 393 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:00,960 Drop dead. 394 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,628 Hey, then we could have a real funeral! 395 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:04,672 - A real one, okay? - Okay. 396 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:07,383 And people will say all these wonderful things about me. 397 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,802 Yes! Let's keep our fingers crossed. 398 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,220 - [Albert] All right. - Maybe I'll die 399 00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:12,555 and it'll be a real one. 400 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,806 And then you'll see the difference. 401 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,099 You're through? 402 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,727 - Yeah. I guess. - [Albert] Okay. 403 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:19,896 - How's Lucy Liu? - [Larry] Not good. 404 00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:23,691 Something's off. Something is very off. 405 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,234 - Yeah. - [Larry] I'm telling you 406 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,403 she doesn't look at me as a sexual being anymore. 407 00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,947 Yes, because you walked into a door. 408 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,366 Big deal. She could've walked into a glass door. 409 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,993 Well, she didn't, and you did. 410 00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,536 And that's what the Three Stooges did, 411 00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,872 and they didn't get laid either, so... 412 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,499 You're right, man. 413 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,167 That little fat motherfucker, who run on the floor, 414 00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,419 like in circles, going... 415 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,338 - [Albert] He never got laid. - That motherfucker never got no ass. 416 00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:48,090 - I guarantee you. - Once they see you in that way, 417 00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,800 like a cripple... 418 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,303 - Mm. - ...there's no sex anymore. 419 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,763 You know, it throws them off. 420 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,097 Well, I mean, you don't know what to do. 421 00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,474 Do you take care of them? 422 00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,476 I thought they liked taking care of you. 423 00:16:58,601 --> 00:16:59,727 - Women love taking care of men. - That's not true 424 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,479 [Larry] No, I disagree. 425 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:04,315 There's a Munchausen thing that they have 426 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,484 where they want you sick in bed and you can't do anything with anybody. 427 00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,403 They don't want you to have fun with anybody else. 428 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,489 And this is it. And now you're trapped in the bed. 429 00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:14,242 - They love that. - That's your concept of women? 430 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,368 - Yes. - [Albert] Okay. 431 00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,078 - Yeah. - Well... 432 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,163 A normal woman doesn't wanna take care of you. 433 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:22,542 She wants to feel you can... You know. 434 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:25,461 Hey, a lady wants you to tap that ass, know what I mean? 435 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,130 I'll tap. I can tap. Give me a chance to tap. 436 00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:32,218 You tapped the door. You're never gonna tap her. 437 00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:34,512 Okay. Get out. Get out. 438 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:37,598 Please come. Don't worry about the movies. 439 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,268 Although, if you wanna see Concussion, 440 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,645 - that one is on Amazon Prime. - [Larry] He's a doctor, yeah. He's-- he's a doctor, yeah. 441 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,147 - [Leon] Okay. Coolio. - [Larry] Yeah, Concussion. 442 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,734 You got a delivery or something. 443 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:49,986 Oh, yeah. 444 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,071 Hey, wear a tie. 445 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:54,991 [Larry] Okay. 446 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,577 ♪ ♪ 447 00:17:58,828 --> 00:17:59,954 What's this? 448 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:01,955 Uh... 449 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,458 Shit. 450 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,378 Santa Monica Municipal Code, fencing regulations. 451 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,839 "Every swimming pool shall completely surround 452 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:12,883 such body of water or property with a fence 453 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:16,971 five feet above the adjacent grade at all places." 454 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:18,763 "Let's talk." 455 00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:21,726 Holy shit. 456 00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,728 Yeah. I know what the fuck that is. 457 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,855 Someone's trying to come up. Someone's trying to get paid. 458 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:28,482 It's extortion. 459 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:33,112 ♪ [Mexican music playing] ♪ 460 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:51,964 Larry David. 461 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,090 At your service. 462 00:18:54,215 --> 00:18:57,261 I'm Marcos. This is my taqueria. You want a taco? 463 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,096 Uh-- 464 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:00,306 Anyways let's get down to business. 465 00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,350 Yes. Let's. 466 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,435 Ah, you just seem like a nice guy. 467 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,938 I'm a living doll, as my mother would say. 468 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:11,817 My brother was a nice guy too. But now he's dead. 469 00:19:12,859 --> 00:19:14,528 Yeah, sorry. 470 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:19,157 It's not your fault that he drowned in your pool. 471 00:19:19,282 --> 00:19:21,160 I mean, I know it. You know that. 472 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,413 But do the courts know that? 473 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:27,583 Then I started thinking about all the fees and litigation 474 00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,961 and attorneys and possible jail time. 475 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,672 That's a lot to handle. 476 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:36,133 But, you know, you lucked out. You scored a friend. 477 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,177 - Lucky me. - Yeah. 478 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:41,388 But looking down that tunnel, it's like nothing but money 479 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,641 emptying out of your pockets. 480 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:45,935 Unless... 481 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,854 Unless what? 482 00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,356 - My daughter. - Ah. 483 00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:52,358 - She wants to be an actress. - Oh, does she? 484 00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:55,820 She's great. Maria Sofia! There she is. Hi, baby. 485 00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:58,656 She'd be perfect for your new show. 486 00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,616 What? Her? 487 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:05,287 "Larry David pilot in dev at Netflix." 488 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:06,747 - Right? - [Larry] Look. 489 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,374 There's nothing for her in the show. 490 00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,000 There's no... there's no part for her. 491 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,753 "Casting the role of Marsha Lifshitz." 492 00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,506 That's a Jewish girl from Brooklyn 493 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,090 who's an aspiring ballerina. 494 00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:19,343 - Maria. Maria Sofia. Come here. - [Larry] What? 495 00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,512 [Marcos] You gotta meet her. 496 00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,431 - Hi, baby. - Hey. 497 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,849 This is Larry David. 498 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,726 - How are you doing? - How you doing? 499 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,477 Tell him about your high school plays. 500 00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:31,021 Dad. Yeah, well, I played Juliet in high school. 501 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,898 I mean, it was amazing. You should have seen it. 502 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:34,233 Oh, sorry I missed it. 503 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:36,609 - And she also dances. - Yeah. 504 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,529 - Show him how you dance, baby. - [Maria Sofia] Oh, okay. 505 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:39,905 No, no, no. You don't need to show me how you dance. 506 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,407 Okay go. One, two, three. 507 00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:47,997 Re-re-rewind. 508 00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,500 That's very good. Very good. Bravo. Yes. 509 00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,544 - Excellent. Good job. Very good. - Oh, thank you, thank you. 510 00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,421 That's not the whole thing. There's a flip at the end. 511 00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:56,714 Yeah. I'm sure. I'm sure. Yeah. 512 00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,840 Okay. Go ahead to the table. I'm gonna talk to Larry. 513 00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:03,596 - Uh, talented girl, for sure. - Thank you. 514 00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:07,516 Thing is, even if she's the best actress in the world, 515 00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,059 which she very well could be, 516 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:10,853 but just not right for this part. 517 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:13,731 But I know Marsha Lifshitz is that girl right there 518 00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,608 eating those leftover tacos. 519 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:17,276 [Larry] Look, we'll find her something else. 520 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,111 I'll send her picture and resume 521 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,405 to a bunch of agents I know, we can get her started. 522 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:24,700 That'd be so great. 523 00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,994 I just don't know if you have all the time in the world, 524 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,873 you know, with the lawsuits and possible jail time coming. 525 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,376 What do we do? 526 00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:38,464 Well, okay, she can, you know... 527 00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,467 - She can audition. - Hmm. 528 00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:44,011 - I'll give her an audition. - I got you. 529 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:48,474 We'll take that audition. And then see you on set. 530 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:54,313 Suppose I cast her and then, you know, the show gets cancelled? 531 00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:56,190 Shows get cancelled all the time. 532 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:59,193 As long as you cast her, we're good. 533 00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:03,155 ♪ ♪ 534 00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:07,034 It's extortion, Jeff! Total extortion. 535 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:09,161 What-- what are you gonna do? This is crazy. 536 00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:11,872 I mean, you know, he could sue me for everything. 537 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,874 And he could bring criminal charges. 538 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,709 So is his daughter gonna audition? 539 00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:17,169 [Larry scoffs] "Audition"! 540 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:19,129 We'll go through a charade of an audition, 541 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:21,757 but it's not an audition really. 542 00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:25,803 - She's got the part. - This is a nightmare. 543 00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:27,847 ♪ ♪ 544 00:22:28,888 --> 00:22:31,851 - Oh. Hey, Dennis. - Hi, Larry. 545 00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:33,477 [Larry] What are you doing? You going out? 546 00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:35,813 - Yeah. You? - I just quit. 547 00:22:35,938 --> 00:22:37,690 [Dennis] Oh. Not for good, I hope. 548 00:22:37,815 --> 00:22:39,233 Uh, maybe. 549 00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:40,984 - So sick of it, you know. - Yeah. 550 00:22:41,109 --> 00:22:44,864 Hey, so the last time I saw you, you said, 551 00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:46,991 the next time you see me at the club, 552 00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:48,784 - which is now... - Uh-huh. 553 00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:52,663 ...to remind you about the 6,000 dollars you owe me 554 00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:56,166 and that you would, uh, have a check and pay me. 555 00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:57,501 That's close, Larry. 556 00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,336 Uh, you saw me and you reminded me 557 00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:02,840 of the 6,000 dollars, and I pulled out my checkbook, 558 00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:06,051 and I wrote you a check for 6,000 dollars. 559 00:23:06,176 --> 00:23:07,511 - What? - Yeah. 560 00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:08,971 - I paid you at the farm shop. - No. No you didn't. 561 00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:10,222 Of course I did. 562 00:23:10,347 --> 00:23:12,433 Dennis, you didn't pay me at the farm shop. 563 00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:14,226 I paid you. I wrote a check to you for 6,000 dollars. 564 00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:16,186 No, you did not. You didn't. 565 00:23:16,311 --> 00:23:18,647 I would remember that, okay, if you paid me. 566 00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:19,982 I remember what you wore. 567 00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:21,942 You wore a green sweater, tan pants, 568 00:23:22,067 --> 00:23:23,694 a blue and white checkered shirt. 569 00:23:23,819 --> 00:23:25,863 You had an almond decaf latte and a bran muffin. 570 00:23:25,988 --> 00:23:27,698 Now if I know all that, don't you think 571 00:23:27,823 --> 00:23:29,532 I would know if you paid me? 572 00:23:29,657 --> 00:23:31,660 - Why would I lie about that? - I'll tell you what else. 573 00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:33,494 I complimented you on that shirt. 574 00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:35,623 - You didn't compliment me. - I most certainly did. 575 00:23:35,748 --> 00:23:37,583 You've never complimented me in your life. 576 00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:39,084 There's never anything to compliment you about. 577 00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:40,586 Ask around and see if anyone else remembers 578 00:23:40,711 --> 00:23:42,212 being complimented by you. 579 00:23:42,338 --> 00:23:43,923 I compliment people's outfits all the time. 580 00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:46,008 - You're a bad guy, Larry. - I'm not the bad guy! 581 00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:48,218 - You are the bad guy! - You're the bad guy! 582 00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:49,720 - No. I pay my debts! - It's true. You didn't pay anything! 583 00:23:49,845 --> 00:23:51,472 - I pay my debts! - Larry, Larry, 584 00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:52,932 - leave the guy alone. - Come on, man. 585 00:23:53,057 --> 00:23:54,808 - What are you doing, man? - [Larry] What? 586 00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:56,352 What are you, hassling him for money? 587 00:23:56,477 --> 00:23:57,978 - He's got dementia. - So what? 588 00:23:58,103 --> 00:23:59,605 Dementia's not a license to steal, is it? 589 00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:01,273 Well, how do we know you didn't forget? 590 00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:02,942 What are you talking about? 591 00:24:03,067 --> 00:24:05,611 We heard that you ran into a sliding glass door recently. 592 00:24:05,736 --> 00:24:07,780 Yeah. I walked into the door. I didn't see the door. 593 00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:09,657 How could I? It looks like air. 594 00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:12,451 Everybody's done it. Hey, let me ask you a question. 595 00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:15,162 Have I ever complimented you two guys on anything? 596 00:24:15,996 --> 00:24:17,580 - No. - No. 597 00:24:17,705 --> 00:24:19,667 I didn't tell you I liked your new PING driver? 598 00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:21,001 No, you didn't. 599 00:24:22,002 --> 00:24:23,963 Oh. Must've been somebody else. 600 00:24:24,088 --> 00:24:27,007 ♪ ♪ 601 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,134 [Larry] Maybe this Maria Sofia will be okay. 602 00:24:29,259 --> 00:24:32,554 Maybe she won't be as bad as we think. Who knows? 603 00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:34,263 I know. 604 00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:36,058 But it's acting. It's not so hard. 605 00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:38,143 I think anybody can do it. What's the big deal? 606 00:24:38,268 --> 00:24:41,647 What do you do? You say the words, you make a face. 607 00:24:41,772 --> 00:24:43,773 There's-- there's nothing to it. 608 00:24:43,898 --> 00:24:48,487 We're fucked. It's a big bowl of fucks. 609 00:24:48,612 --> 00:24:50,823 - Where's Lucy? - Oh, she's gonna meet us there. 610 00:24:50,948 --> 00:24:53,200 - What's the matter with you? - What are you talking about? 611 00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:57,121 What are you, harassing poor Dennis Zweibel? 612 00:24:57,246 --> 00:24:58,830 You think I don't hear about these things? 613 00:24:58,955 --> 00:25:00,582 - Oh, please. - He's impaired. 614 00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:02,792 I waited six months to ask him for that money. 615 00:25:02,917 --> 00:25:04,920 Six months. I should've asked after a month, 616 00:25:05,045 --> 00:25:06,380 but I was being really nice. 617 00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:08,882 This keeps catching on the chiffon. 618 00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:10,801 It's ruining my whole outfit. 619 00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:13,053 You know what? You're petty. You're just petty. 620 00:25:13,178 --> 00:25:14,680 - [Larry] You think I'm petty? - [Susie] Yeah. 621 00:25:14,805 --> 00:25:18,726 Huh? Can I tell you a real example of petty? 622 00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:22,061 You plopped down on that couch, spilled the wine on it, 623 00:25:22,186 --> 00:25:23,772 I got charged for the cleaning, 624 00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:26,275 and you didn't even offer to chip in. 625 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:27,943 Because I didn't plop. 626 00:25:28,068 --> 00:25:30,863 Oh, no. You plopped. You're a plopper. 627 00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:33,657 - You've always been a plopper. - Jeff, did I plop? 628 00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:35,492 - Don't ask me. - [Larry] Yeah, you plopped. 629 00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:37,786 Here's what you did. You went like this. You went like this. 630 00:25:37,911 --> 00:25:41,582 ♪ ♪ 631 00:25:47,838 --> 00:25:51,592 Oh, my God. I didn't ask for a reenactment. 632 00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:56,388 Ah! Ah! Stone missing. Stone missing. 633 00:25:56,513 --> 00:25:58,432 How are we gonna find it? It's tiny. 634 00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,976 - Do you see it, huh? - I'm looking. 635 00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:02,644 [Susie] Jesus Christ, Larry. 636 00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:05,773 They ricochet all over the fucking place. 637 00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:07,775 - [Larry] Move your foot. - [Susie] You know what, Larry... 638 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:09,276 - You see it? - No. 639 00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:10,903 All right. You know what, Larry? Forget it. Just get out. 640 00:26:11,028 --> 00:26:12,404 I don't wanna drive you to the funeral. 641 00:26:12,529 --> 00:26:14,198 - What? - Just drive yourself. 642 00:26:14,323 --> 00:26:15,574 I don't wanna look at your face in the rearview mirror. 643 00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:16,825 Just get the fuck out. 644 00:26:16,950 --> 00:26:18,118 - What? - Out! 645 00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:20,788 Fine. Fine. Fine. I'll drive myself. 646 00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:22,998 Who the fuck wants to go with you anyway? 647 00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:25,917 And let me tell you something, okay? 648 00:26:26,042 --> 00:26:29,880 I am not a bad guy. Not a bad guy. 649 00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:33,801 A good guy. A very good guy. 650 00:26:34,635 --> 00:26:38,388 ♪ ♪ 651 00:26:58,909 --> 00:27:00,077 Hey. 652 00:27:01,161 --> 00:27:02,287 How you doing? 653 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:04,540 Why so sad? 654 00:27:04,665 --> 00:27:06,125 Why so sad? It's-- 655 00:27:06,917 --> 00:27:08,502 I mean, too soon. 656 00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:11,338 He's upstairs. What's this thing? 657 00:27:12,798 --> 00:27:14,258 The shiva-- The Shavuot. 658 00:27:14,383 --> 00:27:15,968 The rending of the clothes. This is-- 659 00:27:16,093 --> 00:27:18,345 Oh, you're really going Jew-ey here, aren't you? 660 00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:21,682 Oh, that reminds me. Uh, I wrote a few things down. 661 00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:24,518 Is Bashert a word that I could use? 662 00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,103 What's the context? 663 00:27:26,228 --> 00:27:30,065 "I'm feeling Bashert at the loss of our friend, Albert." 664 00:27:30,190 --> 00:27:32,317 No. Bashert, it means "fate." 665 00:27:32,442 --> 00:27:35,612 I think you wanna say, "I'm feeling a lot of tsuris." 666 00:27:35,737 --> 00:27:36,989 tsuris? How do you spell that? 667 00:27:37,114 --> 00:27:38,824 T-S-U-R-I-S. 668 00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:41,743 - tsuris? - Yeah. 669 00:27:41,869 --> 00:27:44,163 Hey whatever happened to the movie where you were playing me? 670 00:27:44,288 --> 00:27:45,914 - Oh, God. - The character was based on me. 671 00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:47,541 You would... 672 00:27:48,375 --> 00:27:50,002 Yeah, it went away. 673 00:27:50,127 --> 00:27:52,004 They tested it and the audiences didn't really respond 674 00:27:52,129 --> 00:27:53,797 - to the main character. - Really? 675 00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:55,507 They fill out cards with the feedback. 676 00:27:55,632 --> 00:27:58,385 The word that kept reappearing was "repugnant." 677 00:27:58,969 --> 00:28:00,512 Repugnant? 678 00:28:00,637 --> 00:28:02,013 There wasn't much they could do to fix it. 679 00:28:02,138 --> 00:28:03,432 I mean, I thought it was-- 680 00:28:03,557 --> 00:28:05,267 It's possible it was a performance thing. 681 00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:07,227 It's interesting, 'cause they were very specific. 682 00:28:07,352 --> 00:28:10,898 They loved the performance. They hated the character. 683 00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:13,692 Was it a hatchet job on me? What was it? 684 00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:15,569 I think it was pretty true to life. 685 00:28:15,694 --> 00:28:17,988 - Hey, you know what? - Yeah. 686 00:28:18,739 --> 00:28:19,781 It's Bashert. 687 00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:22,784 - See, I pick it up. - Yeah. 688 00:28:22,910 --> 00:28:24,661 I pick it up. tsuris. I'm gonna do tsuris. 689 00:28:24,786 --> 00:28:26,455 Speaking of, um, when am I going up? Uh-- 690 00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:28,749 - Yeah. You're after me. - All right. 691 00:28:31,667 --> 00:28:33,545 - [Albert] Look, there's Larry! - [Jodi] Oh, he looks nice. 692 00:28:33,670 --> 00:28:35,088 [Albert] He wore a tie. 693 00:28:35,214 --> 00:28:36,632 It's a good crowd. Everybody came. 694 00:28:36,757 --> 00:28:38,217 Oh, my God. 695 00:28:38,342 --> 00:28:40,427 I never thought I would live to see this day. 696 00:28:43,180 --> 00:28:44,556 - [Lucy] Larry. - [Larry] Oh, hey. 697 00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:46,308 Hey. I got you a glass of water. 698 00:28:46,433 --> 00:28:48,018 Oh, water? 699 00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:50,854 Yeah. Just to make sure you're not impaired 700 00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:53,023 - when you're up on the podium. - Mm-hmm. 701 00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:56,151 Okay. Something's going on here with you. 702 00:28:56,276 --> 00:28:58,278 Since I walked into the glass door, 703 00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:01,531 you're treating me like I'm a-- like an invalid. 704 00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:04,368 Things changed when that happened. 705 00:29:04,493 --> 00:29:05,827 - Oh, did they? - Yeah. 706 00:29:05,953 --> 00:29:07,621 I don't see you in a sexual way anymore, so... 707 00:29:07,746 --> 00:29:09,831 Hey, I'm as virile as I was three days ago. 708 00:29:09,957 --> 00:29:13,502 And I was plenty virile then. And I'm plenty virile now. 709 00:29:13,627 --> 00:29:15,712 And I can prove it to you. Let's go upstairs. 710 00:29:15,837 --> 00:29:17,798 Come on. I'll prove it to you. You wanna test it? 711 00:29:17,923 --> 00:29:19,591 - You wanna test it? - No. I don't wanna test it. 712 00:29:19,716 --> 00:29:21,843 Test me. Test me. Come on. I dare you. 713 00:29:21,969 --> 00:29:23,470 - Take care. - [Larry] Test me! 714 00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:25,430 Watch out for glass. 715 00:29:25,555 --> 00:29:28,058 Hey, one day, you're gonna run into glass. It's unavoidable! 716 00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:29,977 I think we should go. 717 00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:33,939 Larry, let's go. Thanks for the tie. 718 00:29:35,732 --> 00:29:38,443 Okay. Hey, everybody. Let's get started. 719 00:29:38,568 --> 00:29:41,947 ♪ ♪ 720 00:29:43,282 --> 00:29:45,742 Welcome, everyone. Thank you for coming. 721 00:29:45,867 --> 00:29:49,746 It saddens me personally to be here today. 722 00:29:49,871 --> 00:29:52,582 Mainly because my dear friend, Albert Brooks, 723 00:29:52,708 --> 00:29:54,167 is very much alive. 724 00:29:55,669 --> 00:29:57,296 Oh, don't do that. 725 00:29:57,421 --> 00:30:00,048 It would've given Albert tremendous satisfaction 726 00:30:00,173 --> 00:30:02,426 to see all these people gathered here 727 00:30:02,551 --> 00:30:04,928 to pay their last respects to a man 728 00:30:05,053 --> 00:30:07,180 they will see again in less than an hour. 729 00:30:07,306 --> 00:30:09,516 Come on, man. 730 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:13,812 I'm very sorry that Albert is faux dead. 731 00:30:13,937 --> 00:30:15,480 Get the next person, please. 732 00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:18,317 'Cause I was going to leave him some faux money. 733 00:30:19,776 --> 00:30:25,365 And know this, nobody loved Christ more than Albert. 734 00:30:27,034 --> 00:30:28,660 Big Jesus guy. Big. 735 00:30:28,785 --> 00:30:31,079 Is that true? Have you accepted Christ into your heart? 736 00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:32,497 Are you crazy? 737 00:30:32,622 --> 00:30:34,958 Albert is the one who inspired me 738 00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:37,419 to become a stand-up comedian. 739 00:30:37,544 --> 00:30:38,795 And that, more than anything, 740 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:40,756 makes me wish he was really dead. 741 00:30:40,881 --> 00:30:43,800 I hate him. 742 00:30:43,925 --> 00:30:47,763 And now I'd like to bring up another friend of Albert's 743 00:30:47,888 --> 00:30:51,808 who was also coerced into doing this, Mr. John Hamm. 744 00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:54,811 - Ah. Okay. - I'm so excited. 745 00:30:54,936 --> 00:30:56,229 I can't believe you know Jon Hamm. 746 00:30:57,147 --> 00:30:58,357 I... 747 00:30:59,399 --> 00:31:03,320 So much tsuris. 748 00:31:05,906 --> 00:31:07,574 They say laughter is the best medicine. 749 00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:10,035 And if that is the case, then... 750 00:31:11,078 --> 00:31:14,081 Albert overmedicated us all. 751 00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:15,832 - That's sweet. - He's funny. 752 00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:17,417 - I know. - I'm sure many of you 753 00:31:17,542 --> 00:31:19,544 will stand up here and praise the genius 754 00:31:19,669 --> 00:31:22,506 of this inward-gazing comedy savant. 755 00:31:22,631 --> 00:31:24,424 And you'd be right to. 756 00:31:24,549 --> 00:31:29,012 He was my absolute, hands-down, favorite comedian of all time. 757 00:31:29,137 --> 00:31:33,767 And now he's been taken from us far too soon. 758 00:31:33,892 --> 00:31:36,061 Albert was one of the great American filmmakers 759 00:31:36,186 --> 00:31:39,648 of his or of any generation. And... 760 00:31:39,773 --> 00:31:42,109 - Where are you going? - Bathroom. 761 00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:43,235 - I'm after you. - [Larry] Okay. 762 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,986 Don't let anybody else go in. 763 00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:47,489 [Jon Hamm] That was the movie I always wanted to make 764 00:31:47,614 --> 00:31:48,824 about jealousy. 765 00:31:48,949 --> 00:31:50,742 That is how much his art resonated with audiences. 766 00:31:52,536 --> 00:31:53,745 [Jon] Before I got a chance to know him as a friend, 767 00:31:53,870 --> 00:31:55,288 I was just a fan. 768 00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:57,124 I wish I had one more chance just to tell him 769 00:31:57,249 --> 00:32:00,085 how much Lost in America resonated with me. 770 00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:02,838 Oh, my God. 771 00:32:04,881 --> 00:32:07,676 He's a COVID hoarder. 772 00:32:08,802 --> 00:32:10,554 Albert Brooks is a COVID hoarder. 773 00:32:10,679 --> 00:32:12,889 He's a fucking COVID hoarder. 774 00:32:13,014 --> 00:32:15,684 - Albert's a COVID hoarder. - Are you kidding me? 775 00:32:15,809 --> 00:32:17,394 - [Susie] Look at this, Jon Hamm! - [Jon] What the fuck? 776 00:32:17,519 --> 00:32:19,396 What are you doing in the closet? 777 00:32:19,521 --> 00:32:20,730 [Jon] What's going on here? 778 00:32:20,856 --> 00:32:22,149 [Larry] Look at all that toilet paper. 779 00:32:22,274 --> 00:32:23,775 And Purell! 780 00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:25,735 First responders could have used all of that stuff. 781 00:32:25,861 --> 00:32:27,279 Why are people in that closet? 782 00:32:27,404 --> 00:32:29,614 Wait a minute. Are you really a COVID hoarder? 783 00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:30,824 Hey, hey! 784 00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:32,284 This is unacceptable. 785 00:32:32,409 --> 00:32:33,785 What's going on in here? 786 00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:35,328 The fuck is wrong with you? 787 00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:36,872 You're sitting over there with a closet 788 00:32:36,997 --> 00:32:38,582 full of fucking toilet paper? 789 00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:40,167 Jesus Christ! 790 00:32:40,292 --> 00:32:41,960 - [Jon] Unbelievable. - Have you no shame, Albert? 791 00:32:42,085 --> 00:32:43,712 - Have you no shame? - shanda! A shanda! 792 00:32:43,837 --> 00:32:47,716 I just moved in here. This used to be a CVS. 793 00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:49,801 You know what? I hope you really die. 794 00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:53,346 Jon, this was beautiful! Come back! 795 00:32:53,472 --> 00:32:54,931 Come on, Jeff. We're out of here. 796 00:32:55,056 --> 00:32:56,475 This is a mistake! 797 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,393 You disgust me. 798 00:32:58,518 --> 00:32:59,978 Shame on you, Albert Brooks. 799 00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:04,274 Come back. I've got flu shots. 800 00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:10,906 Maybe we'll try again next year. 801 00:33:11,615 --> 00:33:12,949 Yeah. 802 00:33:13,074 --> 00:33:15,160 ♪ ♪ 803 00:33:15,285 --> 00:33:17,662 - Fucking Albert! - I know, right? 804 00:33:17,787 --> 00:33:19,206 - Let's get out of here. - Yeah. 805 00:33:19,331 --> 00:33:20,749 Oh, hey, babe, I left my coat outside. 806 00:33:20,874 --> 00:33:22,375 Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. 807 00:33:24,753 --> 00:33:26,213 [Leon] The fuck? 808 00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:28,548 Oh, shit. 809 00:33:36,431 --> 00:33:37,891 [Leon] I'm done with her, man. 810 00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:39,518 Once you do that shit, you can't go back. 811 00:33:39,643 --> 00:33:41,228 You can't unsee that shit. 812 00:33:41,353 --> 00:33:43,021 You can't think of the person any other way. 813 00:33:43,146 --> 00:33:44,940 I'm sure Lucy Liu felt the same way. 814 00:33:45,065 --> 00:33:47,025 Even in the fucking animal world, 815 00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:49,361 when pigeons fly into a motherfucking glass, 816 00:33:49,486 --> 00:33:51,279 motherfucking office buildings and shit, 817 00:33:51,404 --> 00:33:53,740 they ostracized from the other pigeons and shit. 818 00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:56,034 You see a whole school of these motherfuckers, 819 00:33:56,159 --> 00:33:57,953 whether pigeons or geese or whatever. 820 00:33:58,078 --> 00:34:00,163 They fucking flying, and there's one motherfucker back there. 821 00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:01,831 You know why? Because that goofy motherfucker ran 822 00:34:01,957 --> 00:34:03,458 into a goddamn building last week, 823 00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:04,918 and they don't fuck with him no more. 824 00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:06,127 Huh. 825 00:34:06,253 --> 00:34:08,129 That's why Mary Ferguson had to go. 826 00:34:08,255 --> 00:34:10,465 Well, what are you gonna do? You paid for the plane ticket. 827 00:34:10,590 --> 00:34:12,175 It's got Mary Ferguson's name on it. 828 00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:14,553 It's nonrefundable. What are you gonna do, eat it? 829 00:34:14,678 --> 00:34:18,515 [Leon] No. I'm gonna find me another Mary Ferguson. 830 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,183 What are you talking about? 831 00:34:20,308 --> 00:34:21,810 [Leon] I'mma put an ad out. I'm gonna get them all here. 832 00:34:21,935 --> 00:34:24,062 I'm gonna audition a bunch of Mary Fergusons. 833 00:34:24,187 --> 00:34:26,565 Find the one I like and take her ass to Asia. 834 00:34:26,690 --> 00:34:29,359 [Larry] What random Mary Ferguson is gonna go to Asia 835 00:34:29,484 --> 00:34:32,696 with some stranger who's probably a sociopath? 836 00:34:32,821 --> 00:34:34,573 You're forgetting one key thing here. 837 00:34:34,698 --> 00:34:37,409 Free. Who wouldn't wanna go to Asia for free? 838 00:34:37,534 --> 00:34:39,244 They'll take that chance waking up dead 839 00:34:39,369 --> 00:34:41,121 for a free trip to Asia. I promise you. 840 00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:42,914 I think you might have something. 841 00:34:43,039 --> 00:34:45,333 Okay. I'm gonna take me a little dip in the pool. 842 00:34:45,458 --> 00:34:47,669 There was a dead body in there just a couple of days ago, 843 00:34:47,794 --> 00:34:50,130 - just so you know. - It ain't in there now. 844 00:34:50,255 --> 00:34:53,300 ♪ ♪ 845 00:34:55,385 --> 00:34:56,719 [Dennis] Oh, yeah, Susie. 846 00:34:56,844 --> 00:34:58,430 Boy, you popped this right out of there. 847 00:34:58,555 --> 00:35:00,348 - [Susie] I know. - [Dennis] How did you do that? 848 00:35:00,473 --> 00:35:02,392 - Oh, Larry. You know Larry. - Yeah. I'm not a fan. 849 00:35:02,517 --> 00:35:04,436 Yeah. Well, he plopped and then it went flying 850 00:35:04,561 --> 00:35:07,439 in the air and then it came out and I couldn't find the stone. 851 00:35:07,564 --> 00:35:09,899 But then I remembered, you gave me a lifetime guarantee. 852 00:35:10,025 --> 00:35:12,527 - So here I am. - A what? A lifetime-- 853 00:35:12,652 --> 00:35:14,904 A lifetime guarantee, Dennis, you don't remember? 854 00:35:15,030 --> 00:35:16,781 I mean, Susie, I don't have to remember. 855 00:35:16,906 --> 00:35:20,201 We don't-- We've never given lifetime guarantees. 856 00:35:20,327 --> 00:35:22,120 Well, you gave me one. 857 00:35:22,245 --> 00:35:23,622 No, Susie, I never said that. 858 00:35:23,747 --> 00:35:25,582 - Yes, you did, Dennis. - [Dennis] I didn't-- 859 00:35:25,707 --> 00:35:27,459 Why would I say that? 860 00:35:27,584 --> 00:35:29,419 - I don't know why. - That doesn't sound like something I would say. 861 00:35:29,544 --> 00:35:30,795 Maybe 'cause I buy so much fucking jewelry here. 862 00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:32,714 [Dennis] We appreciate that. 863 00:35:32,839 --> 00:35:34,924 But, Susie, I'm sorry, I just have no memory of that. 864 00:35:35,050 --> 00:35:36,676 Let me tell you something, dementia boy, you gave me 865 00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:38,428 a lifetime guarantee, and I don't care 866 00:35:38,553 --> 00:35:40,430 if you don't remember your dog's fucking name, 867 00:35:40,555 --> 00:35:42,724 you're got to fix this and it's not gonna cost me 868 00:35:42,849 --> 00:35:45,018 a goddamn thing. You hear me, Zweibel? 869 00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,312 - You got it? - Got it. 870 00:35:47,437 --> 00:35:48,688 I'll be back Friday. 871 00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:52,233 ♪ ♪ 872 00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:07,540 Mary Ferguson. 873 00:36:07,666 --> 00:36:10,085 Oh. Oh. My bad. 874 00:36:10,210 --> 00:36:11,503 - How about you? - Oh, me? 875 00:36:11,628 --> 00:36:12,879 [Leon] Go on inside. 876 00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:15,172 - Hi, guys. - Hey. Hello. 877 00:36:15,297 --> 00:36:16,675 This is Brady Reiter, Larry David. 878 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,968 - Nice to meet you. - [Larry] Hi. Nice to meet you. 879 00:36:19,094 --> 00:36:22,097 I've always loved traveling. And I've been dying 880 00:36:22,222 --> 00:36:23,890 to go to Asia for years. 881 00:36:24,015 --> 00:36:25,975 Would you have a problem faking a disability 882 00:36:26,101 --> 00:36:27,768 just so we can get in those wheelchairs 883 00:36:27,893 --> 00:36:29,813 and they can push our ass through the airport? 884 00:36:29,938 --> 00:36:32,607 I don't think I would like that. 885 00:36:34,234 --> 00:36:36,069 I want you to eat this Matzah ball. Come on. 886 00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:37,946 - Come on. Munch it. - Don't put the Matzah ball here! 887 00:36:38,697 --> 00:36:40,739 No Matzah ball! Eat it! 888 00:36:40,864 --> 00:36:42,283 - That was great. - Wow. 889 00:36:42,409 --> 00:36:44,202 - That was great. - [Brady] Thank you guys! 890 00:36:44,327 --> 00:36:45,495 - You guys have a great day. - [Larry] Good job. 891 00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:46,913 - [Brady] Bye. - Bye. 892 00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:48,456 She's fucking hilarious. 893 00:36:48,581 --> 00:36:49,998 Wow. 894 00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:52,544 Yeah. Well, let's see. Let's see who else. 895 00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:54,087 Okay. 896 00:36:54,629 --> 00:36:55,797 Next. 897 00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:58,174 [Larry] Bye. 898 00:36:58,299 --> 00:37:00,009 - Thank you. Thank you. - Thank you. 899 00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:01,261 [Larry] Thank you. 900 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,556 [Leon] Mary Ferguson 5. Thank you. 901 00:37:05,681 --> 00:37:07,142 Okay. Next. 902 00:37:07,267 --> 00:37:08,727 - No. - Uh... 903 00:37:08,852 --> 00:37:10,770 - [Larry] No. - Fantastic. Thanks a lot. 904 00:37:10,895 --> 00:37:13,481 - She's amazing. - Yeah, she was fantastic. 905 00:37:13,606 --> 00:37:15,525 I don't think so. 906 00:37:17,694 --> 00:37:19,612 - Nah. - Eh. 907 00:37:19,738 --> 00:37:21,614 Hmm. Next. 908 00:37:21,739 --> 00:37:23,491 I want you to eat this Matzah. Come on. 909 00:37:23,616 --> 00:37:27,078 Ow. It's hot! Larry, your hands are all over it! 910 00:37:27,203 --> 00:37:28,455 That was great. 911 00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:30,290 - Thank you. - Thanks, Julia. 912 00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:33,334 - No. - Okay. 913 00:37:35,335 --> 00:37:37,255 - You ever dated a Laker? - No. 914 00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:41,176 - How about Clipper? - I've never dated a Clipper. 915 00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:44,344 Fuckin' dig it. 916 00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:47,724 Suppose we crashed on a deserted island 917 00:37:47,849 --> 00:37:50,059 and I make it and you don't make it. 918 00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:51,728 - Is it cool-- - You can eat me. 919 00:37:51,853 --> 00:37:55,398 Oh. Shi... I think we should do this. 920 00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:56,858 Wait. So am I going? 921 00:37:56,983 --> 00:37:58,067 - Let's do this. - Let's do it! 922 00:37:58,193 --> 00:37:59,527 What's up? 923 00:37:59,652 --> 00:38:00,779 - Ah! - Ah! 924 00:38:00,904 --> 00:38:02,530 Oh, shit! Oh, oh! 925 00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:07,494 Hi. This is Maria Sofia Estrada. 926 00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:09,161 - Larry David. - Hi. 927 00:38:10,121 --> 00:38:11,247 What's up? 928 00:38:11,790 --> 00:38:12,998 Hello. 929 00:38:13,666 --> 00:38:14,834 Did you... 930 00:38:14,959 --> 00:38:16,669 - Oh. - Oh, headshot. 931 00:38:16,795 --> 00:38:18,880 Yeah. Of course. Of course. Of course. No problem. 932 00:38:19,005 --> 00:38:20,340 Do you have a resume? 933 00:38:20,465 --> 00:38:22,717 - [Maria] Uh... - No resume. 934 00:38:22,842 --> 00:38:25,011 And-- Yeah, and your mark's back there, so... 935 00:38:25,136 --> 00:38:26,304 Oh. There. 936 00:38:26,429 --> 00:38:28,973 Right there. Yeah. Great. 937 00:38:29,098 --> 00:38:30,600 Okay. 938 00:38:32,185 --> 00:38:34,646 To me. Eyeline to me. Whenever you're ready. 939 00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:40,026 Larry, my mother wants to know if you wanna come 940 00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:41,945 to our cedar Friday night. 941 00:38:42,070 --> 00:38:45,114 Uh, it's Seder. Uh, nah, I don't think so. 942 00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:49,327 And I want you to meet my boo-bay. 943 00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:50,495 Your what? 944 00:38:51,204 --> 00:38:52,455 My grandmother. 945 00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:54,082 Yeah. I can't be around old people. 946 00:38:54,207 --> 00:38:55,583 They creep me out. 947 00:38:56,668 --> 00:38:58,962 - Oh, stop. - Okay. Fine. 948 00:38:59,087 --> 00:39:02,172 But only on one condition, okay? You have to finish your lunch. 949 00:39:02,297 --> 00:39:04,342 - I'm full. - Look, you didn't need to think. 950 00:39:04,467 --> 00:39:05,552 Marsha, seriously, you're too thin. 951 00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:07,637 You're like a rail. Come on. 952 00:39:07,762 --> 00:39:11,224 This is a good weight for me. 953 00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:14,477 Okay. But at least finish the Matzah ball, right? 954 00:39:14,602 --> 00:39:15,979 No. 955 00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:17,647 What is it? Do you have an eating disorder? 956 00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:19,440 - No. - Marsha, I swear to God. 957 00:39:19,565 --> 00:39:21,693 - I want you to eat the Matzah ball - [Maria] Ew! Gross! 958 00:39:21,818 --> 00:39:24,152 - Come on! Come on! - Ew! No, stop! 959 00:39:24,279 --> 00:39:26,030 - Stop. - Okay. 960 00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:28,199 Thank you. 961 00:39:28,324 --> 00:39:29,659 - Thanks, Maria. - Thank you. 962 00:39:29,784 --> 00:39:31,369 - Nice to meet you. - Oh, that's it? 963 00:39:31,494 --> 00:39:32,786 - Yeah. - Yeah. That's it. 964 00:39:32,911 --> 00:39:34,372 - Whoo! - Thank you so much. 965 00:39:34,497 --> 00:39:36,373 - [Larry] Thank you. - Thank you. 966 00:39:36,498 --> 00:39:38,167 Ooh, God. 967 00:39:40,837 --> 00:39:42,046 We got her. 968 00:39:42,171 --> 00:39:43,631 - Her? - [Larry] That's our gal! 969 00:39:43,756 --> 00:39:44,924 - Larry. - Oh, my God. 970 00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:47,260 All right. Let's go home. 971 00:39:47,385 --> 00:39:50,263 - We still have three more girls. - [Larry] Yeah. I don't think so. 972 00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:57,312 Some double date. 973 00:39:57,437 --> 00:40:00,565 Quite a romantic evening this turned out, huh? 974 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,948 - Hey. Got any Purell? - Yeah. 975 00:40:10,617 --> 00:40:12,577 - [Larry] Oh. - I ran out of the smaller ones. 976 00:40:12,702 --> 00:40:14,704 [Larry] That's a big boy. 977 00:40:14,829 --> 00:40:16,748 Here. Keep it. I got another one, you know. 978 00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:21,169 Thanks. 979 00:40:24,130 --> 00:40:27,759 ♪ ♪ 980 00:41:34,617 --> 00:41:36,452 ♪ ♪ 74266

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