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1
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:19,937
If Sammi doesn't want to take clarinet
anymore, she doesn't want to.
2
00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:22,856
- I don't wanna push her.
- You're the one who pushed it, not me.
3
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:25,025
- God, where's the tissues?
- I don't know.
4
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,736
I'm having an allergy attack.
5
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,449
What is this?
6
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,204
What is this, Jeff?
Whose panties are these?
7
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,831
- Uh...
- what the fuck is this?
8
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,959
It's your car. What are
these doing in there?
9
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,168
All right, pull the fuck over.
10
00:00:44,293 --> 00:00:46,338
Pull over.
11
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,635
I really hate shopping for pants.
12
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:55,180
- Seriously, what's worse than trying on pants?
- Exactly.
13
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,891
I think those are gonna look
great once they're hemmed.
14
00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:00,018
- How do they feel?
- Good.
15
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:03,313
All right.
16
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:05,190
What the hell's going--
What's-- what's this?
17
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,776
It's the fire alarm.
Yeah, we need to leave.
18
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,736
But I left my pants in
the dressing room.
19
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,697
Jesus.
20
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:18,828
Hey, what's going on?
21
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:20,497
Fire alarm.
22
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:23,166
- That's it?
- Yeah, gotta be thorough.
23
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,295
{\an8}- Is that your name?
- Yeah.
24
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,879
{\an8}- Krupke?
- Mm-hmm.
25
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,674
{\an8}- Really?
- Yeah, Matt Krupke.
26
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,468
{\an8}- You're Officer Krupke.
- I am.
27
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:34,886
Familiar with "West Side Story"?
28
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,930
- No, sir.
- What?
29
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:40,642
There's a character in "West
Side Story" named Officer Krupke.
30
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:43,020
{\an8}- Okay.
- You're Officer Krupke.
31
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,188
{\an8}- You never heard the song?
- No, sir.
32
00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:47,608
♪ Oh, Officer Krupke,
what are we to do? ♪
33
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,818
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke,
Krup you. ♪
34
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,778
{\an8}- You never heard that?
- No.
35
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,363
- No?
- No.
36
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,990
By the way, they wanted
to say "fuck you."
37
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,783
But in the '50s on Broadway,
38
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,702
Sondheim, he couldn't write "fuck you."
39
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,871
{\an8}So "Krup you" is a
substitute for "fuck you."
40
00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:03,874
{\an8}- Mmm.
- Has anybody ever said "Krup you"?
41
00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,208
- No.
- Huh.
42
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,628
{\an8}Some guy told me to go
fuck my face once.
43
00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,838
He went to jail.
44
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,632
Okay.
45
00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,216
How much longer?
46
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:15,552
- An hour, maybe two.
- Really?
47
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,846
If Tech wants to get in there,
it could be two hours.
48
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,848
Are you kidding? I'm not
gonna wait that long.
49
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,142
- Okay, thank you.
- Thank you.
50
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:26,063
♪ Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke,
you gotta understand ♪
51
00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:28,690
♪ It's just our bringin' Upke
that gets us outta hand ♪
52
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,818
♪ Our mothers all are junkies,
our fathers all are drunks ♪
53
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:34,946
♪ Golly, Moses,
naturally we're punks ♪
54
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:38,241
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke,
we're very upset... ♪
55
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,000
Hold on, hold on.
56
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,669
Come here.
Come here, shh.
57
00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:51,630
I got in a lot of trouble with Susie.
58
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:54,633
I need your help so bad.
59
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,635
She found a pair of panties
60
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,345
in my glove compartment.
61
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,263
Oy vey iz mir.
Are you kidding me?
62
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,683
- No, I am not kidding you.
- How the hell did you do that?
63
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,601
I forget they were even
in there. I forgot--
64
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:06,812
- But here's where I need your help.
- Man, oh man.
65
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:09,314
I told her they were your panties.
66
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,610
- So you're good?
- What do you mean they're my panties?
67
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,404
No no, I told her that
they're your panties,
68
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,657
that you like wearing women's panties.
69
00:03:20,157 --> 00:03:22,035
- What?
- Yeah, that's what I told her.
70
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,246
I told her you like
wearing women's panties.
71
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,331
Where the fuck did you come up
with that? What does that mean?
72
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,208
I think it's pretty brilliant, actually.
73
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,793
You're gonna cover for me, right?
74
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,794
Please please please?
You're gonna cover for me?
75
00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:33,714
They're your panties, right?
76
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,799
I-I can't--
I can't go in there.
77
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,592
- Why not?
- I'm embarrassed.
78
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,803
- Nothing to be embarrassed about.
- I've got panties on.
79
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:42,597
- Only she knows.
- How am I supposed to act now?
80
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,307
Normal.
Panties up here, not--
81
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:45,934
You don't have to really wear them.
82
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,519
You just know you've got them on
83
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,813
and maybe you're a little more
comfortable than normal.
84
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:53,567
A little more at ease.
Maybe a little-- little kinder.
85
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,402
- Help me please.
- This is really odd.
86
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:58,530
- But we're pals. I would do it for you.
- This is very odd.
87
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,323
Odd yet brilliant.
88
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,534
Completely and utterly brilliant.
89
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:05,203
My best one ever maybe.
90
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:08,790
- All right.
- You're a friend.
91
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,959
You're a fucking friend.
92
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,295
Thank you. Oh, thank you. Come on.
93
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,673
[Susie] God.
94
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,550
[Virginia] yeah, I bet, exactly.
95
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:22,471
Well, is the architecture
not happening right now?
96
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,389
- Hey, Larry.
- Oh, hey, Jeff.
97
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:27,851
- [Larry] hi, hey.
- [Dennis] hello hello hello.
98
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,644
Hey, Virginia, hi.
99
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,938
- Dennis hello.
- It's nice to see you. It's a pleasure.
100
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,815
- How's the golf game?
- Good good, yeah.
101
00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:37,694
Larry, you have a security
tag on your pants.
102
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,237
Oh, yeah.
103
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:40,906
That's weird.
Why?
104
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,575
Well, Virginia, if you must know,
105
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,161
I was at Banana Republic and
a fire alarm went off.
106
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,996
- [Virginia] uh-huh.
- And I was just waiting
107
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,957
and the store didn't open back up,
so I just thought I'd take off.
108
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:52,918
But you know what was amazing,
109
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,377
when I was outside the store,
110
00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:57,214
I was talking to an officer
111
00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:58,924
and his name was Krupke.
112
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:01,426
- Uh-huh.
- And he'd never heard
113
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,345
of the character from "West Side Story."
114
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,514
- Isn't that unbelievable?
- Unbelievable.
115
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,057
Yeah, I had to sing the song for him.
116
00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:08,683
♪ We're disturbed,
we're disturbed ♪
117
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,060
♪ We're the most
disturbed ♪
118
00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:11,645
♪ Like we're
psychologically-- ♪
119
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,814
All right, all right.
Enough enough.
120
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:15,857
I know all the lyrics
from "West Side Story."
121
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,734
- Really? Fascinating.
- Yeah.
122
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,737
- [Virginia] amazing.
- I know the whole thing. It's interesting.
123
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,697
Sometimes you think you know somebody,
124
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,659
but you really don't know them at all.
125
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,662
Hey, Larry,
I'm auditioning for the reunion show,
126
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,664
for the "Seinfeld" reunion show tomorrow
127
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,999
for the part of George's ex-wife.
128
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,751
[Dennis] she'd be great.
129
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,379
- Don't you think she'd be great?
- I really hope I get it.
130
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,380
Huh, okay.
131
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:40,799
So before
Larry walked in,
132
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,676
you were telling me the
story of how you met.
133
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,261
Go ahead.
I wanna hear.
134
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,803
- LT was great.
- [Larry] all right, okay.
135
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:47,681
I was building this strip
mall-- hold it a sec.
136
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,432
I really have a hard time
137
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,142
with "How we met" stories, okay?
138
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,019
- So I'm gonna--
- Well, I wanna hear it.
139
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,146
- We don't have to tell it.
- [Larry] no, you can hear it.
140
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,523
I find it cloying and annoying.
141
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,108
Well, fine.
I wanna hear it.
142
00:05:58,233 --> 00:05:59,818
They were in the middle,
I wanna hear it.
143
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,070
Why don't you go take a walk
around the block, okay?
144
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,072
By the time you're back,
they'll be finished.
145
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,866
- Okay, fine.
- Fine, bye.
146
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,409
- Bye.
- All right, so?
147
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,369
I was building a strip
mall in Hesperia--
148
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,996
Let me guess how it ends.
149
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,832
- You get together in-- in the end?
- Bye, Larry.
150
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:17,252
- So you were the architect...
- And she was into real estate.
151
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,464
- Lemonade.
- Mister, come here.
152
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,926
- We have the best lemonade.
- You wanna buy some lemonade?
153
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,928
Hi, selling lemonade, huh?
154
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,722
- Yep.
- Good for you.
155
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,640
Good for you.
You're entrepreneurs.
156
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,642
Hey, mister, did you steal those pants?
157
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,519
No no no, I--
I didn't steal them.
158
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,938
An alarm went off in the store
and I had to leave the store.
159
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,982
I mean, don't they want your pants back?
160
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,568
I have to bring them back and
I'm going to, but I didn't steal.
161
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,194
Anyway, I'll have some lemonade.
162
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,821
- How much is it?
- A buck.
163
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,531
A buck?
Fine.
164
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,159
Thank you very much.
Here you go.
165
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,998
Are you kidding me?
166
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,750
Oh my God.
This is awful.
167
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:59,085
I'm not even joking.
Who made that?
168
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,962
- Us. It's beautiful.
- You made it?
169
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,589
- Give me my money back.
- no.
170
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,466
- you can't.
- I want my dollar back.
171
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,384
Just get out of here
if you don't like it.
172
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,511
Fine, I'll get out.
It's terrible.
173
00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,055
- You stink.
- You stink!
174
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,514
I'm gonna report you guys for that.
175
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,807
- go ahead!
- I'm going to.
176
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,476
- turd!
- loser!
177
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:18,480
- Bald asshole!
- get outta here! Mom!
178
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,902
Couldn't stand another
"How we met" story?
179
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,570
- Ls that it?
- No, I couldn't.
180
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,948
Oh, God.
181
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,866
What are you looking at?
182
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,576
What? I'm not looking at anything.
183
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:33,578
- What are you, self-conscious?
- No, you're looking me over.
184
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,706
I was not looking you over, paranoid.
185
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:39,834
Don't know what you're talking about.
186
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,753
- Hi.
- Hi, Susie.
187
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:44,005
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
188
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,925
Are you the gentleman
who was just talking
189
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,678
to my kids out there by
the lemonade stand?
190
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,764
I was by the lemonade stand
talking to some youngsters.
191
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:55,809
Because apparently some guy came over
192
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,894
and started making fun
of their lemonade.
193
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,188
- Yeah?
- Was that you, perchance?
194
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:03,274
- Guilty.
- What-- what's wrong with you?
195
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,943
I think they deserve an adult critique.
196
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,320
If they're gonna charge a dollar and
give you this much lemonade...
197
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,155
I felt a little ripped off.
198
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,616
- You knew it was kids at a stand...
- Right, it's kids.
199
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,535
...Selling lemonade.
Your choice.
200
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,621
The stand needs a little
supervision, that's all I'm saying.
201
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,581
You know what? They're in
that little kid bubble.
202
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,835
They're buds, and you just-- you
know, just piss all over it.
203
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,837
I didn't piss on the buds.
204
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,714
No, I helped the buds.
I'm helping the buds grow.
205
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,633
- I'm good for buds.
- Stay away from the buds, Larry.
206
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:32,011
- May I be excused?
- [Susie] get the hell out of here.
207
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:34,639
Let me tell you something. Yeah, you.
208
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,434
You talk to my kids
again, calling the cops.
209
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,602
Duly noted.
210
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,361
Hi.
Virginia Sloan.
211
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,238
- Please sign in.
- Okay.
212
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,949
- Virginia.
- Cheryl.
213
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,617
Oh my God.
214
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,244
You're auditioning?
215
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,828
Yeah.
216
00:08:57,953 --> 00:08:59,706
For the same part, how strange.
217
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:02,667
- Oh my God, are you here for Amanda?
- Yeah, I am.
218
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,210
- Hmm.
- That is so weird.
219
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:07,213
Why would you have to
audition? It's based on you.
220
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,591
Well, you know,
221
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,760
I think it's a part--
Part of the process that--
222
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,845
- I don't know.
- That's weird that he would make you.
223
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,847
Larry was explaining it to me.
224
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,224
- Hey, how's Dennis?
- He's really good.
225
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:19,684
- Ls he?
- He's really good, yeah.
226
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,477
You know, actually,
I'm meeting him
227
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,897
for lunch later today.
228
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:26,857
- Do you want to maybe join us?
- I would love to.
229
00:09:26,982 --> 00:09:28,943
- Yeah?
- Yeah, catch up with you guys.
230
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,404
- I haven't seen you in forever.
- That would be great.
231
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,280
- I hate auditioning.
- [Mark] Cheryl, you're next.
232
00:09:33,405 --> 00:09:35,158
- Okay, I'm next.
- Good luck.
233
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,327
- Good luck to you.
- You don't need any luck.
234
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:40,497
- You're gonna get it.
- Well, who knows?
235
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:43,083
Cheryl's here to read for Amanda.
236
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,751
- [Jerry] oh.
- Hi.
237
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,878
- [Jerry] hi, Cheryl.
- Hey.
238
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,463
- This is...
- How are you doing?
239
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,923
- Hey, I'm good.
- Why don't you go?
240
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,549
- Go ahead.
- Okay.
241
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:52,926
- All right.
- All right.
242
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,719
- Hey.
- Hey, Larry.
243
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,679
This is weird.
Oh my God.
244
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,432
What's going on with that?
245
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,267
Oh...
246
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,684
Well, I was in a store yesterday.
247
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,938
I was going to--
I was just trying these on
248
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:07,107
and then an alarm went off.
249
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,525
We all went out of the store,
250
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,819
and I didn't feel like waiting around.
251
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,445
So I'm gonna return them today.
252
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,823
Why didn't you just wear
your own pants today?
253
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,492
'Cause then I'd have to
carry these around.
254
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,202
Now I don't have to carry anything.
255
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,496
He wears the pants instead
of carrying the pants.
256
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,373
- That's smart.
- Yeah.
257
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,791
- Shall we get started?
- Yes.
258
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,751
Why hold a hat when you could
just put it on your head?
259
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,586
- Wear a hat.
- Yeah, exactly.
260
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,797
But it's not a hat, it's a pair
of pants with a security--
261
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,381
- So what?
- Okay.
262
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:34,926
And so,
I'm on an airplane and I'm on the phone.
263
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,136
- Right.
- Ahem, anytime?
264
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:38,804
Ready? Hello?
265
00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:40,890
George?
Oh my God.
266
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,475
Honey, you couldn't
call at a worse time.
267
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,352
- I got the TiVo guy here.
- Oh my God, George,
268
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,354
we're going through a really
big storm right now.
269
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,064
Hold on, honey. What?
You need the warranty?
270
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,857
Honey, let me ask you a question.
271
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:51,860
Do you know where the warranty
card is on the TiVo?
272
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,611
No no, I don't.
I--
273
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,655
Hey, in case something happens to me--
274
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,282
I mean, it's really bad up here--
275
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,409
- Ls it in the kitchen drawer by any chance?
- What?
276
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,202
I'm sorry, can't hear you. What is that?
277
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,787
What did you say?
278
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,622
George, I just wanna tell you in case--
279
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:07,125
No, not you, honey, the TiVo
guy. Hold on one second.
280
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,961
[Cheryl] for some reason
if I don't make it--
281
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,754
The TiVo guy wants to
know the name of the guy
282
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,756
who installed this thing.
283
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:15,884
I don't know. I don't know his name.
284
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,511
- Was it Tom or something?
- I just want you to know--
285
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:21,389
Or Don, something like that?
Maybe Bill or James?
286
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,266
- Oh my God.
- Wait wait, don't go.
287
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,476
- What?
- No. Oh, jeez. Honey, no, I'm sorry.
288
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,437
You know what?
The TiVo guy's gonna go.
289
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,982
- I'm never gonna get him again.
- It's just a TiVo guy.
290
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,692
[Mark] honey, call me back
in 10 minutes, okay?
291
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:35,278
- What?
- I'm sorry, sweetheart. I love you.
292
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:38,780
George. George!
293
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,075
- [Mark] nice.
- That's it.
294
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,035
- [Mark] great.
- Very good.
295
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,413
Aw, it's a little nerve-racking
in here with you guys.
296
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,457
- That was great.
- It's the same for everybody.
297
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,083
- That was great.
- Yeah.
298
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,085
- Okay.
- [Mark] I think you did great.
299
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,795
- Thank you.
- That was really good. You're funny.
300
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,339
- All right.
- Great work.
301
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,131
- Thank you, Mark.
- Thanks for coming in.
302
00:11:56,256 --> 00:11:58,092
- Thanks, guys. So we'll talk later?
- Yeah.
303
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,886
- Just a formality, right?
- Yeah.
304
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,763
Okay. Uh--
305
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,431
- Well done, Cheryl.
- Thanks, Jerry.
306
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,808
- I'll see you.
- [Jerry] fantastic.
307
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,644
- Thanks, Cheryl.
- Thank you, Mark.
308
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,812
- Good to see you. Bye.
- Okay, thanks.
309
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,773
- She's pretty good.
- Pretty good?
310
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,234
- Yeah, she's pretty good.
- That was insane, okay?
311
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,402
I mean, that was--
That was perfect.
312
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,238
- Perfect.
- Yeah, she was good.
313
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,740
- Really natural. Nice solid reading.
- Everything we want.
314
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,660
I knew she was good, never
knew she was that good.
315
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:26,578
I mean, she was great.
That was a great audition.
316
00:12:26,703 --> 00:12:28,748
- [Larry] great.
- Should we move on?
317
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:31,083
I think we can close up shop,
to tell you the truth.
318
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,794
Well,
I think we should see everybody.
319
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:36,673
I know, but, you know, no
one's gonna beat that.
320
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,050
Honey, in case something happens to me--
321
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,760
I mean, it's really bad.
322
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,679
- Ls it in the kitchen drawer by any chance?
- What?
323
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,681
I'm sorry, can't hear you. What is that?
324
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,641
George, I just wanna
tell you just in case--
325
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,726
[Mark] no, not you, honey, the TiVo guy.
326
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:50,645
For some reason
I don't make it home--
327
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,480
The TiVo guy wants to
know the name of the guy
328
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,940
who installed this thing.
329
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,900
Ugh, I don't know.
I don't know his name.
330
00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:57,944
[Mark] was it Tom or something?
331
00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:00,863
- I just-- I need you--
- Or Don, something like that?
332
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,615
Maybe Bill or James?
333
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,033
Oh, no no. Jeez, honey, I'm sorry.
334
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:05,827
You know what?
The TiVo guy's gonna go.
335
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,871
- I'm never gonna get him again.
- It is just a TiVo guy.
336
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,999
[Mark] honey, call me back
in 10 minutes, okay?
337
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,458
- [Virginia] what?
- I'm sorry, sweetheart. I love you.
338
00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:15,628
George!
339
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,506
- That was great.
- Really good.
340
00:13:19,631 --> 00:13:20,842
- Really great.
- No, it wasn't.
341
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,510
[Jerry] really great,
Virginia. Thank you.
342
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,595
- Ugh, I hope it was okay.
- [Mark] it was great.
343
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,179
I'm terrible at auditioning.
344
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,349
- No no.
- It was really good.
345
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,559
[Jerry] thank you. A pleasure.
346
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:32,812
- LT was really nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
347
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,481
- Bye.
- Bye.
348
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:36,691
See you later.
Great job.
349
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,985
- Thanks. See you.
- Bye.
350
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:41,696
- Wow.
- Nice.
351
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,655
You can see why she's
gotten so much work.
352
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:47,410
- Yeah, she's terrific.
- That was like, "Hello, pro."
353
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,745
You know, she--
She was good.
354
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:51,247
She was good, but honestly--
355
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:53,708
I know probably you think
356
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,710
it's hard for me to be objective here,
357
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,378
but I thought
Cheryl was better.
358
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,796
I mean, this is Cheryl, this part.
359
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,841
She was on that plane. She lived
this part. That was her.
360
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,760
Who cares who was on the plane?
361
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:06,804
It's not a real plane. It's not a
real show. It's not a real story.
362
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,431
You know, when we shoot this,
363
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,183
they're gonna cut the plane in half.
364
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,934
It's not even gonna be a whole plane.
365
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:14,812
I believed Cheryl more
than I believed Virginia.
366
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,648
Well, a girl like that,
if you can get her,
367
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,067
it's like "Let's get on board
368
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,110
the Virginia Sloan, toot toot.
369
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,862
Next stop, comedy town.
370
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,947
- Well...
- [Jerry] so it's-- it's...
371
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:27,742
I don't know what to tell you.
We're at loggerheads here.
372
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,578
[Jerry] well, I guess we're in
a tie-break situation then.
373
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,205
Mark?
374
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,415
Look, I think Cheryl really
set the bar at the time,
375
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:38,544
but you cannot deny that that
audition was outstanding.
376
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:40,296
I'd go with Virginia.
377
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,340
- She's an incredible actress.
- Incredible.
378
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:45,009
I can't believe she's even reading
for something like this.
379
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,511
Yeah.
380
00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:48,304
You know, it was amazing.
381
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,515
[Jerry] look, believe me, you probably
382
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,725
are gonna be better off
383
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:56,312
because working with someone
who you were involved with,
384
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,481
you know, there could
be some tension there.
385
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,358
You'll be glad that--
386
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:03,611
That there's no chance of anything
happening with you and Cheryl.
387
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,863
You'll see. Don't worry,
Cheryl will be fine.
388
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:08,783
You're gonna be very happy.
389
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,868
All right, we'll go with Virginia.
390
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,995
Good, all right, we'll go with...
391
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:23,798
have a nice day.
392
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,049
- Hi.
- Hey.
393
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,759
- Welcome back.
- You remember me?
394
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,636
I remember you from the fire.
395
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,806
- My pants were left in the dressing room.
- They were?
396
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,225
'Cause I couldn't hang around
till the store opened.
397
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,060
And I need to pay for
the ones I'm wearing.
398
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,728
Um...
399
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:41,190
I don't see-- they're
not-- they're not here.
400
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,067
They're not here, so...
401
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,027
What are you-- How could
they not be there?
402
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:48,197
Every night they completely
clean out the dressing room,
403
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,199
and anything that's in
there they put it in here
404
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:52,910
in the lost and found and
it's not-- it's not here.
405
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:56,581
- So you've lost my pants?
- I'm-- I'm sorry, they're gone.
406
00:15:56,706 --> 00:16:00,585
So how would you like to pay for those?
407
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:05,673
Well, how could
I pay for the pants
408
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,634
if you lost my pants?
That doesn't seem fair.
409
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,678
First of all, we didn't
lose them. They're gone.
410
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,638
- There's a difference between lost and gone?
- Yes.
411
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:14,765
- Lost is different than gone.
- They're lost and gone.
412
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,477
If they're lost, they'd be
here in the lost and found.
413
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:19,020
They're gone and that's the difference.
414
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,022
No, if they were lost,
they wouldn't be there.
415
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,982
They'd be lost, which they are.
416
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,776
Okay, we have a sign in the
fitting room that says that
417
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,737
we're not responsible
for any lost items.
418
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:30,573
Good for you. I got a
sign at my house, okay?
419
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:33,576
Lt says "If somebody takes
your pants, you take theirs."
420
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,912
- That's my sign.
- That's a stupid made-up sign.
421
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:38,581
That doesn't exist.
Nobody has a sign like that.
422
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,291
Of course I don't have a sign like that.
423
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,376
I just made it up for the
purposes of this discussion.
424
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,837
- It's obvious I made it up.
- I don't know what you believe.
425
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:46,631
You might believe these things you say.
426
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:48,883
So you might believe that I put up
a sign in my bedroom that says
427
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,468
"If you take my pants,
I take yours"?
428
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:52,386
So it's not that unfathomable.
429
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,013
Okay, you have to replace my pants.
430
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:55,973
I'm not gonna pay for these pants.
431
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,392
No, 'cause you're gonna walk around
with a security tag on that
432
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,186
and someone's gonna
arrest you or something.
433
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:02,063
It's like a scarlet letter.
434
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,397
I'm happy to wear the Scarlet letter.
435
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,900
- Call me Hester.
- I won't call you Hester.
436
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,693
- Call me Hester.
- I won't call you Hester.
437
00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:10,321
You're not-- sir, you cannot
leave with those pants.
438
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,948
Really?
439
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,742
It's gonna follow you
around, that sound.
440
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:19,080
- Larry.
- Hi.
441
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:22,291
- Did you just set off the alarm in there?
- Yeah, I-I did.
442
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:25,419
What are you doing? I thought you
were gonna get your other pants.
443
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,421
They-- they don't have my other pants.
444
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,675
They lost them, so I took these.
445
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,594
What did everybody say
about the audition?
446
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:37,098
- Um...
- Oh, no.
447
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,642
- I wasn't good.
- No, you were great.
448
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:42,186
- You weren't good, you were great.
- Oh, God.
449
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,105
But I don't know.
450
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,941
Jerry wants to give it to Virginia.
451
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,653
I'm so sorry.
452
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:54,031
- I thought this was a formality.
- I thought so too.
453
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,700
I thought it was a done deal.
454
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,368
- I thought so too.
- Oh, gosh.
455
00:17:57,493 --> 00:18:00,830
- And I'm sorry. I apologize.
- Virginia got it?
456
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,790
I mean, she'll be--
She'll be great.
457
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,042
- I'm sure she's thrilled.
- She'll be okay. She's not you.
458
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,378
I know, but I'm glad that she
got it if I didn't get it.
459
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,130
- That's good.
- Ugh.
460
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,548
We actually all got together,
461
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:14,510
Dennis and Virginia and
me, and had lunch.
462
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,220
Got a little crazy, actually.
463
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:19,724
Dennis, after a few glasses of wine...
464
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,602
Oh, you know, Virginia
went to the bathroom
465
00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:26,814
and he asked me if I was
interested in a menage a trois.
466
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:30,192
I mean, I was--
467
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:31,986
I mean, I was a little flattered.
468
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,780
- I just thought you'd find it funny.
- Funny?
469
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,782
- That's funny.
- That's funny?
470
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:39,493
I don't find that funny at
all. Who does he think he is?
471
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,787
- First of all, you're my ex-wife, okay?
- Okay.
472
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,455
If you're gonna have a menage
a trois with anybody,
473
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:45,291
it's gonna be with me, not with him.
474
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:48,044
Why would I want to be in a
menage a trois with you?
475
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:50,630
Well, you wouldn't. But if
you're going to do it,
476
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:53,007
I'd prefer that it would
be with me, that's all.
477
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,301
Okay.
478
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:59,597
- He was serious?
- Yeah, he was serious.
479
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:02,808
Yeah yeah.
480
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,490
Yes, it's more money.
481
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,532
It's a lot more money, but
I can do it for you.
482
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:20,868
Hang on. Yeah.
483
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,869
Look, I'll meet you in
20 minutes, all right?
484
00:19:22,994 --> 00:19:25,665
Right there at the site.
Hi, Larry, what's up?
485
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,750
You asked my wife to be in a threesome?
486
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,960
- Wife?
- Yes.
487
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,629
- You mean ex-wife.
- Whatever.
488
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,673
- There's a difference.
- No, there is no difference.
489
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:36,801
You don't need to concern yourself
with the difference, okay?
490
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,053
All right, fine.
491
00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:44,767
Yes, I asked your ex-wife
492
00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:47,811
if she would like to be in a
threesome with my current wife.
493
00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,897
- What is wrong with you?
- What's it to you, Larry?
494
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,315
- What's it to me?
- Yeah.
495
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,942
Because I-I have feelings for her
496
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,859
and I don't need you
to defile her, okay?
497
00:19:54,984 --> 00:19:56,529
I would not be defiling her.
498
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,030
Whatever two people do,
or three people do,
499
00:19:58,155 --> 00:19:59,615
in the privacy of their own
homes is their own business.
500
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:00,825
Yeah, I've heard that bullshit.
501
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:02,785
She's not interested in doing anything
502
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:05,287
in the privacy of your home, okay?
503
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,330
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, really.
504
00:20:07,455 --> 00:20:08,958
That remains to be seen.
505
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:10,960
What does that mean?
506
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:14,547
Larry, just because
Cheryl is curious
507
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,757
doesn't mean you have any right
to get mad at me, okay?
508
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,884
- Chill out.
- Curious?
509
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,678
- Did you say curious?
- Curious.
510
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,847
[Larry] what are you talking about?
511
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,566
- Hey.
- Hey.
512
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,405
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
513
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:41,824
What do you mean nothing?
What's all this fidget?
514
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,200
What are you talking about?
515
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,369
I'm talking about your underwear.
516
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:46,746
Uncomfortable or something?
517
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:49,915
I have a little problem
with my underwear.
518
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,751
All of a sudden out of nowhere?
519
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:54,336
- What, do you have a new brand or something?
- Yeah, I do.
520
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:56,005
Really?
Where'd you buy them?
521
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,840
- Online.
- Online?
522
00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:00,217
That's a load of shit. You don't
know how to use a computer.
523
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,386
The last man on Earth, but you
don't know how to use a computer.
524
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:04,930
- How do you buy it online?
- My assistant buys it for me.
525
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,849
Oh, really?
From what website?
526
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,560
- What site does she buy it from?
- Hi hi hi.
527
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,936
- Larry and I gotta talk about some stuff.
- Yeah, I bet you do.
528
00:21:12,061 --> 00:21:15,232
You always have to talk
about some stuff.
529
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:20,112
Clearly she is not
believing a word of this.
530
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:23,365
- I thought she was buying it at first.
- She's not buying it.
531
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:25,367
I watched the whole thing.
What are you doing?
532
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,953
- It's crazy.
- I'm doing the best I can, you know.
533
00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:30,664
I'm-- I'm trying to play
like slight transvestite.
534
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,500
- Slight transvestite?
- Yes.
535
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,294
It's a comfort thing. Don't add
a transvestite level to this.
536
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:38,088
A guy who wears women's
underwear is-- is part tranny.
537
00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:39,757
- He's not part tranny.
- He's part tranny.
538
00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:42,134
No, you're crazy.
He wants comfort.
539
00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:43,677
You're comfortable, that's it.
540
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,387
You're Larry David and you like comfort
541
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:47,306
in women's panties, all right?
542
00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:49,767
- Simple.
- No, it's not so simple. It's not so simple.
543
00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,685
- Shh shh!
- I don't know how to play that.
544
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,063
- I like the comfort of woman's panties.
- That's it, that's all.
545
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:55,773
- How do you play--
- Ask me a question.
546
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:59,068
- Where do you get your underwear?
- Many different places.
547
00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:02,363
Stop overacting, just keep
it on the down, okay?
548
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:04,615
Come on.
All right?
549
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,700
You're Larry David.
Who are you?
550
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:08,619
- I'm Larry David.
- And what do you happen to enjoy?
551
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:11,830
- I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.
- Perfect, that's it.
552
00:22:11,955 --> 00:22:13,749
- I'm very comfortable with that.
- Very comfortable.
553
00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,667
Listen, I got big fucking news.
554
00:22:15,792 --> 00:22:17,336
Huge.
You ready for this?
555
00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:20,923
I got a call from Virginia.
She can't do the part.
556
00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:23,717
She's in a neck brace.
557
00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:25,553
- You're kidding.
- No.
558
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:27,763
- Oh my God.
- Yes, and you know what that means.
559
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,182
- Cheryl's gonna do the part.
- Cheryl's gonna do the part.
560
00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:33,310
- This is fantastic.
- Yes, it's unbelievable.
561
00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:35,563
What-- what happened?
562
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,398
She wouldn't tell me.
I said, "What happened?"
563
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:39,400
And she said, "It's not important."
564
00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:42,778
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
565
00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:45,865
- Interesting.
- What?
566
00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:48,701
- As far as I know...
- Yeah?
567
00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:52,454
- ...There's only two ways you can injure your neck.
- Mm-hmm.
568
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,457
- One is a car accident.
- Yeah.
569
00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:57,960
- The other's cunnilingus.
- Mm-hmm.
570
00:22:58,085 --> 00:22:59,420
If it wasn't a car accident,
571
00:22:59,545 --> 00:23:02,673
she injured her neck
going down on Cheryl.
572
00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:04,758
- Cheryl? Oh my God.
- Yes!
573
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,886
- They had a menage a trois.
- You don't know that.
574
00:23:07,011 --> 00:23:10,013
Lt Could've been a car
accident. You don't know.
575
00:23:10,138 --> 00:23:11,807
Let's check her car.
576
00:23:11,932 --> 00:23:13,601
All right, let's check her car.
577
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:15,895
- All right, who are you?
- I'm Larry David.
578
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:17,563
And what do you happen to enjoy?
579
00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:20,023
- I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.
- Let's go.
580
00:23:27,448 --> 00:23:28,741
Hey.
581
00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:30,534
What are you, an idiot?
582
00:23:30,659 --> 00:23:33,203
- I didn't-- sorry.
- Ouch.
583
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:40,878
- It's clean.
- Clean.
584
00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:42,588
See anything?
585
00:23:42,713 --> 00:23:44,757
I don't see any damage at all.
586
00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:51,972
Nothing.
587
00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:55,351
- Cheryl.
- Cunnilingus.
588
00:23:55,476 --> 00:23:57,895
Look out.
589
00:24:09,406 --> 00:24:12,409
So...
590
00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:14,703
I have some news.
591
00:24:14,828 --> 00:24:18,916
Virginia can't do the part.
592
00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:20,792
You're playing
George's ex-wife.
593
00:24:20,917 --> 00:24:23,921
I'm gonna play
George's ex-wife?
594
00:24:24,046 --> 00:24:25,631
Are you kidding me?
595
00:24:25,756 --> 00:24:28,008
- Congratulations.
- And everybody's on board with this?
596
00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:30,844
- Jerry-- Jerry said yes...
- Yeah.
597
00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:32,721
...And you talked it over and-- yeah.
598
00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:35,224
I can't believe you didn't call me
as soon as you heard the news.
599
00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:38,227
- I wanted to, you know, save it.
- This is so fantastic.
600
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:41,772
- Huh?
- So I can tell my mom and everybody?
601
00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:43,898
Tell all your family.
Tell them all, yeah.
602
00:24:44,023 --> 00:24:46,068
- And mention me when you tell them.
- I will mention you.
603
00:24:46,193 --> 00:24:48,112
That's unbelievable.
Thank you.
604
00:24:48,237 --> 00:24:50,614
- I kinda put the whole thing together.
- Thank you, Larry.
605
00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:53,409
Wow, so what happened with Virginia?
606
00:24:53,534 --> 00:24:55,786
Why can't she do it?
607
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:59,164
What an interesting question.
608
00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:01,959
Why can't she do it?
609
00:25:02,084 --> 00:25:04,086
Well...
610
00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:08,090
It seems as if Virginia hurt her neck.
611
00:25:08,215 --> 00:25:09,675
- Mmm.
- Ooh.
612
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,428
How did she hurt her neck?
613
00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:15,638
Very good, very good.
614
00:25:15,763 --> 00:25:18,559
- What?
- You're good. You're good.
615
00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:19,977
I don't know what you're talking about.
616
00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:21,895
You're gonna do very well in this part.
617
00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:25,232
- How did she hurt her neck?
- How did she hurt her neck?
618
00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:27,734
- We all know...
- Mm-hmm.
619
00:25:27,859 --> 00:25:31,113
...There's only two ways a
person can injure their neck.
620
00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:32,781
One is a car accident.
621
00:25:32,906 --> 00:25:34,825
And she was not in a car accident
622
00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:36,368
because I checked the car.
623
00:25:36,493 --> 00:25:40,080
- Okay.
- The other is cunnilingus.
624
00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:43,500
And I submit
625
00:25:43,625 --> 00:25:46,336
she performed it on you in a threesome.
626
00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:51,215
- Come on.
- What are you talking about?
627
00:25:51,340 --> 00:25:52,843
Listen, we're adults.
628
00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:54,303
- Let's just get past this.
- Oh my God.
629
00:25:54,428 --> 00:25:56,888
Because I told you about
Dennis and the three-way.
630
00:25:57,013 --> 00:25:58,891
- Please, stop.
- There are two ways to injure--
631
00:25:59,016 --> 00:26:00,642
There are other ways to
hurt your neck, Larry,
632
00:26:00,768 --> 00:26:02,352
besides having to go down on someone.
633
00:26:02,478 --> 00:26:04,188
- That's ridiculous.
- Name one.
634
00:26:04,313 --> 00:26:05,773
- You could-- painting.
- Painting?
635
00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:09,359
- Ugh.
- You know, I never saw Michelangelo in a brace.
636
00:26:13,196 --> 00:26:15,824
- Hello?
- She doesn't believe me. She doesn't believe me.
637
00:26:15,949 --> 00:26:17,701
She's gonna leave me.
She's gonna leave me, man.
638
00:26:17,826 --> 00:26:19,787
- I'm fucked!
- All right, calm down.
639
00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:21,830
She still thinks the panties are mine.
640
00:26:21,955 --> 00:26:24,500
[Susie] Jeffrey, where are you?
641
00:26:24,625 --> 00:26:26,417
I'll be right there.
642
00:26:26,542 --> 00:26:28,170
Think of something, all right?
643
00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:29,671
Come on, man,
I need your help!
644
00:26:29,797 --> 00:26:32,549
Okay, you know what?
I have an idea.
645
00:26:32,674 --> 00:26:34,009
- Really?
- I do.
646
00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:35,761
- Come over right now.
- It could work.
647
00:26:35,886 --> 00:26:38,263
Man, fuckin' panties.
648
00:26:38,388 --> 00:26:40,182
- I'm a fuckin' idiot.
- Okay, I'm coming over.
649
00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:44,895
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke,
we're very upset ♪
650
00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:47,606
♪ We never had the love
that every child oughta get ♪
651
00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:51,693
♪ Oh, Officer Krupke,
what are we to do? ♪
652
00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:55,614
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke,
Krup you. ♪
653
00:26:55,739 --> 00:26:57,825
- That's-- that's the same guy.
- It is?
654
00:26:57,950 --> 00:27:00,119
- he used a bad word, Mom.
- Oh my God.
655
00:27:00,244 --> 00:27:02,621
What a jerk.
656
00:27:04,832 --> 00:27:07,376
It's a good plan, but it's
just gotta be natural.
657
00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:09,503
You can't just-- you know,
it's gotta be natural.
658
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,588
- I understand that.
- Okay.
659
00:27:11,713 --> 00:27:13,465
- Jeff?
- Yeah?
660
00:27:13,590 --> 00:27:15,676
Virginia got in a really
bad car accident.
661
00:27:15,801 --> 00:27:18,011
- What?
- Her neck is all fucked up. She's in a brace.
662
00:27:18,137 --> 00:27:19,763
She didn't get in car accident, okay?
663
00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:21,890
I saw her car.
There's not a scratch on it.
664
00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:23,600
No, she did,
Larry, okay?
665
00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:26,645
She was driving Dennis's
car, asshole know-it-all.
666
00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:28,522
[Jeff] his car's--
667
00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:30,648
[Susie] his car is all
fucked up. Who's that?
668
00:27:30,773 --> 00:27:33,777
yes, ma'am,
I'm looking for Larry David.
669
00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:35,737
[Susie] come right in.
670
00:27:35,863 --> 00:27:38,490
- Hello.
- Oh, hey, Officer Krupke.
671
00:27:38,615 --> 00:27:40,576
- Yeah.
- Hey, Jeff, it's Officer Krupke.
672
00:27:40,701 --> 00:27:42,994
- Oh, yeah, like from "West Side Story."
- From "West Side Story."
673
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,622
We received a call about
you using obscenities
674
00:27:45,747 --> 00:27:47,416
against a woman and her children.
675
00:27:47,541 --> 00:27:48,917
What?
That's ridiculous.
676
00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:51,712
I sang the song I sang to you.
"Officer Krupke, Krup you."
677
00:27:51,837 --> 00:27:53,797
I didn't say fuck you.
I said Krup you.
678
00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:57,759
- That's not the way they heard it.
- I was singing a song.
679
00:27:57,885 --> 00:27:59,928
Krup you!
680
00:28:00,053 --> 00:28:02,181
Where'd you get those pants?
681
00:28:02,306 --> 00:28:03,640
Banana Republic.
682
00:28:03,765 --> 00:28:05,559
There's a security tag on those pants.
683
00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:08,811
I traded them because they took
my pants, so I took these.
684
00:28:08,936 --> 00:28:11,190
- Give me the pants.
- What are you talking about?
685
00:28:11,315 --> 00:28:13,108
- These are my pants.
- Now.
686
00:28:15,611 --> 00:28:18,113
- Okay, fine.
- You don't have to do this here.
687
00:28:18,238 --> 00:28:20,365
I don't care.
Okay, here.
688
00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:23,452
[Susie] oh my God! Jesus Christ!
689
00:28:23,577 --> 00:28:25,621
Who are you?
690
00:28:25,746 --> 00:28:29,875
I'm Larry David. I happen to
enjoy wearing women's panties.
691
00:28:43,764 --> 00:28:46,350
You gotta tell Susie
I was in a car accident.
692
00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:51,730
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke,
we're very upset ♪
693
00:28:51,855 --> 00:28:54,691
♪ We never had the love
every child oughta get ♪
694
00:28:54,816 --> 00:28:58,779
♪ We ain't no delinquents,
we're misunderstood ♪
695
00:28:58,904 --> 00:29:01,114
♪ Deep down inside us
there is good ♪
696
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,742
♪ There is good ♪ - ♪ there is good,
there is good ♪
697
00:29:03,867 --> 00:29:05,452
♪ There is untapped good ♪
698
00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:09,539
♪ Like inside
the worst of us is good... ♪
699
00:29:18,006 --> 00:29:19,758
♪ The trouble
is he's lazy ♪
700
00:29:19,883 --> 00:29:21,218
♪ The trouble
is he drinks ♪
701
00:29:21,343 --> 00:29:22,719
♪ The trouble
is he's crazy ♪
702
00:29:22,844 --> 00:29:24,346
♪ The trouble
is he stinks ♪
703
00:29:24,471 --> 00:29:25,806
♪ The trouble
is he's growing ♪
704
00:29:25,931 --> 00:29:27,683
♪ The trouble
is he's grown ♪
705
00:29:27,808 --> 00:29:30,936
♪ Krupke, we've got
troubles of our own ♪
706
00:29:31,061 --> 00:29:35,357
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke,
we're down on our knees ♪
707
00:29:35,482 --> 00:29:39,569
♪ 'Cause no one loves a fellow
with a social disease ♪
708
00:29:39,695 --> 00:29:41,363
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke ♪
709
00:29:41,488 --> 00:29:44,700
♪ What are we to do? ♪
710
00:29:44,825 --> 00:29:52,874
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke,
Krup you. ♪
55887
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