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Hey, Dad.
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How's it going, Mom?
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Howdy.
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Three days and counting.
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Too bad he doesn't have someone
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covering the hole on the other side.
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♪ Life is unfair.
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This is The Crystal Ship.
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It's our high school literary magazine.
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Nobody reads it because it's written
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by high school kids trying to be deep.
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And the editor is just some guy
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who wants to pad his college application.
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This month, it's me.
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Did you get...
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"The Mysterious... Forest"?
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Yes, Stevie. I got your drawing.
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Is it... in?
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Yes. I told you.
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Nothing gets rejected.
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It doesn't matter how self-indulgent
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or boring or childish or stupid or painful it is.
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If it can be stapled, it's in.
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And why do you care?
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Our advisor doesn't even care.
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I have to go.
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Um, I need to help.
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Principal Block with... something.
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Ronnie and I have
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written stories that we want to submit.
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We demand that you embrace
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our vibrant female voices.
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So you better print them, okay?
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Okay. You got it.
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You are going to read them first, aren't you?
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Yeah, okay.
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Oh, my God.
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It's been so long,
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I didn't think it was possible.
40
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This story is, uh...
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is...
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What's the word?
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Good?
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Yes! Ronnie, your story
45
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is fantastic!
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I love the ending!
47
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What about mine?
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"The Frog Who Was Too Good for the World"?
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It's crap.
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Well, maybe it was over your head.
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The frog is you, the snake is your dad,
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and the moon is the dope you like on the football team.
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Lewis is not a dope.
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"Car Crash"?
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Yeah. There's this really pretty girl who,
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whenever she walks down the street,
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guys yell filthy stuff at her,
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so she trains herself to ignore them.
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The "pretty" part's not important.
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So, one day, after she's trained herself,
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she's crossing the street,
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and this construction worker yells out, "Hey, lady!"
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She doesn't turn around,
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but he's really trying to
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warn her there's a car coming.
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She ignores him, and she gets
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splattered all over the pavement!
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Men...
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are pigs.
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Did you hear?
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The plant-watering lady
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is going to testify before the S.E.C.
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My God! They're going after everybody.
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And the new supervisor starts today.
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She's only here to make cuts and fire people.
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Lots of people.
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Oh, my God! Here she comes!
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Oh!
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Come on! Come on!
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Come on!
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Come on!
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Hal, right? (Yelps)
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(microwave bell dings) Yes!
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Nell. We took an extra trip
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around the revolving doors together this morning.
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Well, yeah... Looks like you're
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the only one here who doesn't run away from me.
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Well, you can't run forever, eh?
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(both laugh)
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Look, I know this whole situation is awkward,
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but I'm going to do my best
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to make everyone here feel respected.
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Thank you, Nell.
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Especially the ones with great-looking hands.
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She was touching me exactly like this!
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She was practically drooling over my sexy hands.
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And then, later this morning,
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she asked me if I thought her butt was big.
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And it wasn't. It was perfect!
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It wasn't an innocent request for information, Lois.
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If your butt was as perfect as hers,
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believe me, you'd know it!
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What am I going to do?
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Well, were you mean to her?
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No. Why?
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You don't want to antagonize her.
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She's the new boss.
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She decides who comes and who goes.
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What are you saying?
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I am saying that it wouldn't hurt
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for you to be... nice.
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That's all. Hal, I'm not asking you to do anything.
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It's just if she flirts with you again,
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just don't burst her bubble.
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Lois!
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Oh, all right!
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You can make me flirt with this beautiful woman,
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but you can't make me like it.
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I can make you do anything I want.
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You're right.
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Go!
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(grunting)
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Ow!
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You know why I beat you?
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'Cause you outweigh me by, like, 50 pounds?
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No. Because my mind is stronger than yours.
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What?
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All your Matrix guys
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and your Yodas
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and your Karate Kids do what they do
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with their minds, not their bodies.
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I beat you in here before I ever beat you there.
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You're just messing with me again.
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I don't believe you.
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You're not sure if you do or you don't.
136
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This is soil.
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Soil is alive.
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It is sensitive to the rhythm of who you truly are.
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This is a seed.
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Within it lies sleeping the soul of a plant.
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Together, they make a test.
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That was taught to Shaolin ninjas millions of years ago.
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If you can keep your hand like this
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until the seed sprouts, then you will have developed
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the source of all power.
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If this is real,
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then why are you teaching it to me?
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'Cause I'm a jerk, and I know you'll fail.
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Or maybe...
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just once...
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I'm letting you in on the secret of life itself.
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What's he doing out there?
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I put a rock in his hand.
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He's trying to make it grow.
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Oh, here you are, Francis.
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What's this?
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An invitation for you and Piama.
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Otto and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary!
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You're kidding. That's great.
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Oh, I wish
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I could chop you up
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in a million pieces
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so that I could share you with the rest of the world.
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Oh, you are so romantic,
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my big Bavarian monkey face.
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Francis, I am in so much trouble.
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What's wrong? I just found out
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what Gretchen is getting me for our anniversary.
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She knows how much I love cuckoo clocks,
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so she called a factory in Innsbrook
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and somehow convinced them to handcraft a cuckoo clock
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with a little Otto and a little Gretchen
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that come out and kiss every hour.
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Wow. What'd you get her?
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Some Dustbuster filters
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and a bracelet I saw on QVC.
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Whoa. Well... you have a week.
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Is there anything you know she likes?
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Well, she always wished that I could learn to waltz.
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Really? That's great! I know how to waltz.
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I learned in military school taking girls to cotillions.
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I can totally teach you.
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Oh, no, no, no, Francis, I am a terrible dancer.
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I tried it at our wedding; I stepped on her foot.
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You can't let a little thing... I broke it in three places.
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But... Then I ripped her dress,
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and her rear end hung out for 200 people to see.
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Then I got into a fistfight with her father.
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We spent the night in jail,
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and, you know, he always was a
little delicate-looking, and...
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Otto, Otto!
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I am sure I can teach you to waltz.
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I don't know...
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Oh, goodie! Look!
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It's the bracelet I ordered from QVC.
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Do you like it?
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Yeah, oh, yeah.
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I'll meet you in the barn at 10:00.
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What the hell is this?
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It's "Car Crash."
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It's a story for the literary magazine.
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It's pornography.
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How is it pornography?
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"The construction worker yelled out
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(bleep) my (bleep)."
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"(bleep) my (bleep)."
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It's supposed to be offensive.
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That's the whole point of the story.
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It's a literary device.
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There's nothing literary
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about "(bleep) my (bleep)"!
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Parents don't want their children
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reading "(bleep) my (bleep)."
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This school district has a zero tolerance policy
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on "(bleep) my (bleep)"!
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Our forefathers did not lay down their lives
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on San Juan Hill for "(bleep) my (bleep)"!
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Now, you either kill this story
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or replace all the dirty words with asterisks.
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That's just stupid.
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What's the point of bleeping out words?
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Everyone knows what they are anyway.
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Besides, Miss Shaw already said it was okay.
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Sometimes, Miss Shaw doesn't know
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when to keep her mouth shut.
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Just do it!
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This is censorship!
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Call...
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the ACLU...
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and sue... their ass.
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Yes!
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We can testify in poetry!
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I'm not going to call the ACLU for Crystal Ship.
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Just because it's under attack doesn't mean it's not lame.
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What's wrong?
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Nothing. It's okay.
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It is stupid.
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You don't have to get...
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Look... you have people
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thinking you're smart and creative all the time.
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I just got excited that people would think that
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about me for a change.
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Like I said, it's stupid.
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MAN: That is an outrage!
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Where is this high school, Iran? It's okay.
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I don't want to do anything;
I just wanted some information.
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You want information?
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The Constitution exists.
249
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Your teachers might as well take
a leak on the American flag...
250
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which actually is a case I defended,
251
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but that's not the point.
252
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If these fascists need a lawsuit to wake them up,
253
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then... Malcolm, what's the name of your school?
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My school? It doesn't have a name...
255
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and I'm not really a student there.
256
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I was just prank calling you.
257
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Ha, ha. Fooled you.
258
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That guy was nuts... I didn't want anything to do with him.
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I hung up before he could figure
out where I was calling from.
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Unless... he has...
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Caller I.D.
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BLOCK (over megaphone): Attention, students.
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Attention, students.
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As you know, we publish a literary magazine
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called The Crystal Ship.
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(students murmuring)
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Well, we do.
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This morning, I received word that the ACLU
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has filed a lawsuit to force us to publish
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an extraordinarily obscene essay.
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(scattered applause)
272
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:20,420
The school district's lawyers have given us a choice.
273
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,022
We can either turn our high school
274
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:25,192
into an adult bookstore, or
275
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:28,996
we can cancel all extracurricular activities.
276
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:35,202
Therefore, the football team is hereby canceled.
277
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:39,072
The debate team is hereby canceled.
278
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:41,641
The drama club, canceled.
279
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:44,111
The glee club, canceled.
280
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,780
The prom, canceled.
281
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:48,315
GIRL (sobbing): No!
282
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,986
If any of you wish to find the student editor, Malcolm,
283
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,555
and thank him for this, you'll find
284
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:58,826
his class schedule posted outside my office.
285
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,101
(faint squeaking)
286
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,046
OTTO: You are terrible!
287
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:23,183
You have completely wasted four
entire days of waltz lessons.
288
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,885
It makes me sick
289
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,186
to look at you.
290
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,855
Otto, this isn't helping.
291
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:28,998
Every time you punch yourself,
292
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,558
we lose hours of valuable practice time.
293
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:33,326
You just... you got to relax.
294
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,263
How can I relax when Gretchen is depending on me?
295
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:37,998
You do not learn by relaxing.
296
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,199
You learn by violently
297
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:41,234
assaulting your problem
298
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:44,037
until it surrenders its mysteries to you!
299
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:46,673
I just feel like you're psyching yourself out.
300
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,351
Why don't you take five and clear your head?
301
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,542
You take five.
302
00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:50,610
I shall study
303
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,913
the videotape of our previous lessons.
304
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:55,783
I will correct the problems in my technique.
305
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,621
(yells in pain)
306
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,031
(screaming)
307
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,465
(loud clattering)
308
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:15,803
Mm-hmm, perhaps more weight on my left instep.
309
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:19,239
Otto, stop! Just stop all of this.
310
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,141
This isn't work!
311
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,575
This isn't science!
312
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,244
This is dancing!
313
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,645
Stop thinking.
314
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,214
Stop watching tapes.
315
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,749
And take off the waltz-trainer!
316
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,888
♪
317
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,223
Feel the music.
318
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,657
Look into my eyes.
319
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:38,792
But I... Shh!
320
00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:39,759
But Gretchen...
321
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:40,928
Shh.
322
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:43,096
Forget Gretchen.
323
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,098
Forget the past and its failures,
324
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,233
the future
325
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,467
and its hopes.
326
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,336
The world is gone.
327
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:52,605
Right now all that exists is you...
328
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:54,641
and me
329
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,443
and the waltz.
330
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,665
Hey, Hal.
331
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:23,203
Tough day. My neck is so stiff.
332
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,478
Mmm!
333
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:35,382
So... what's a guy like you do for fun, huh?
334
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:36,783
I didn't know what to say.
335
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,318
I don't do anything for fun.
336
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,029
Don't tell me you just stood there for ten minutes
337
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:40,954
with your mouth hanging open?
338
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,231
She wasn't even listening, Lois.
339
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:43,991
She was too busy mentally stripping me
340
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,192
and dressing me in leather.
341
00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:48,828
Boys, get out here. Dinner.
342
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:50,297
How long is this going to take?
343
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,631
I had to have Billy Hawkins
344
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,799
help dress me for gym.
345
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,668
It'll grow when you stop needing it to grow.
346
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,338
Malcolm, where've you been?
347
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,049
Captain of the football team wanted to show me
348
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:01,808
how he decorated the inside of his locker.
349
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,877
Yes, well, the principal of your school called.
350
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:06,646
He said you filed a lawsuit
so you could destroy the school.
351
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:07,981
That's a total lie.
352
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:11,084
All I'm trying to do is publish
a magazine full of dirty words.
353
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:13,186
Oh, and that's supposed to make me feel better?
354
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,221
I didn't even start this.
355
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,755
But everybody's fighting me so hard,
356
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:17,657
it makes me think I can't just back down.
357
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,691
You always said
358
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,036
there are principles you can't ever give up,
359
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,337
no matter what people do to you.
360
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,729
And I'm as surprised as anyone,
361
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,531
but I think that's what I'm doing.
362
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,566
What's her name?
363
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:27,567
Who?
364
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,002
The girl you're trying to impress.
365
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,170
Hope she's cute.
366
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,039
This isn't about a girl.
367
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,941
A girl wrote the dirty story.
368
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,218
Oh, son, you want to be careful.
369
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,252
A girl who writes dirty stories
370
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:37,520
sounds a little advanced for you.
371
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,379
That's not what this is about.
372
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:40,280
Ronnie's a lesbian.
373
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,757
Well, maybe she wouldn't be a lesbian
374
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,783
if you tucked in your shirt once in awhile.
375
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:45,718
I'm just trying
376
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:46,853
to help her.
377
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,421
She doesn't deserve this.
378
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,299
She went to all the trouble to express something
379
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,601
in a way that's actually good, and now she's being silenced
380
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:55,362
by a bunch of stupid, arbitrary people
381
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,364
for stupid, arbitrary reasons.
382
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,966
And I think that's just wrong.
383
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,800
Son, you don't want to come on that strong.
384
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,303
That might be what turned her gay in the first place.
385
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,208
Come in.
386
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,842
You wanted to see me...
387
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,147
What's going on?
388
00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:15,448
Malcolm, the teachers and I
389
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:16,649
are not here to blame.
390
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,618
We're looking for a solution.
391
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:19,953
This is Mr. Mellon.
392
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,721
He's legal counsel for the district.
393
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:22,889
It's nice to meet you.
394
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:27,260
Now if it were up to me, you'd just be expelled,
395
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,629
but the district thinks that there's a way
396
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,231
to get everything back the way it was.
397
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,266
Good. Cause I never wanted to fight everyone.
398
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,135
Of course you didn't.
399
00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:38,605
Basically, son, you sign this letter.
400
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:41,408
It says "Car Crash" never met
the standards of Crystal Ship.
401
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,843
You just picked it to see what you could get away with.
402
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:44,954
It was an adolescent prank,
403
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,246
and you apologize.
404
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,514
Now just sign this,
405
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,117
and everyone gets their clubs back.
406
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,019
I'm not going to sign it.
407
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,420
This is just a lie.
408
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,588
All right, Malcolm, I wasn't going to mention this,
409
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:59,492
but I made cupcakes for you kids every week.
410
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:03,430
Look, I'm not the only one affected by this.
411
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,465
I agree.
412
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,367
Ronnie?
413
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:13,340
I'd like you to sign it, Malcolm.
414
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:19,079
I just want field hockey back.
415
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:25,485
Hello, there, Nell.
416
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:26,719
Your eyes
417
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,555
are very pretty. Really?
418
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:31,658
You like my eyes?
419
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,060
No!
420
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:34,861
I was just told to say that.
421
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:36,196
I'm sure you're very pretty,
422
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:38,465
but I don't find you even remotely attractive.
423
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,134
I'm only flirting with you because my wife is making me!
424
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:42,235
Wait a minute.
425
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:43,403
I was flirting with you,
426
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:46,073
and the first thing you did was tell your wife?
427
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,474
I tell her everything.
428
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,210
And she told you to flirt back with me?
429
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,544
Yeah.
430
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,246
Just out of curiosity,
431
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,716
how far was your wife willing to take this?
432
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:59,252
She wouldn't tell me.
433
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:02,089
Hal, it's okay. Calm down.
434
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,323
Now, the first thing
435
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:06,492
you need to know is, I'm not going to fire you.
436
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,859
You're not? No.
437
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,529
I was going to,
438
00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:10,573
but then Grossman and Ball
439
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:11,830
got indicted,
440
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,508
and you're the only one left in the department.
441
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,534
Oh. I'm really glad
442
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,536
it worked out this way for you, Hal.
443
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,271
Thank you. Thank you.
444
00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:20,406
Lois will be so relieved.
445
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,909
Well... we don't want her
446
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:25,145
to be too relieved.
447
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:30,283
It's hardly noticeable.
448
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:31,518
(loudly): Good.
449
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:32,928
We can finish going over your progress reports
450
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:35,088
in my office this afternoon.
451
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:36,689
I'm on fire.
452
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:37,757
(clears throat)
453
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,959
Ah. Malcolm.
454
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:42,762
So, have you, uh, made a decision yet?
455
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:44,231
Yes. I want the clubs back.
456
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,398
So I signed the letter
457
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:46,399
and sent it to your lawyer.
458
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:47,234
I even made copies.
459
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,436
Yeah, what's all this other stuff?
460
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,204
I put the letter on the back cover
461
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:52,405
of my new independent
462
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:53,573
literary magazine.
463
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,284
We made 700 copies, and we're distributing it
464
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,644
20 feet outside the school grounds
465
00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:59,011
as required by law.
466
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,817
It's called "Absolutely Filthy Smut."
467
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:08,020
It's a catchy title. People seem interested.
468
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,098
Man, from now on
469
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:20,343
I'm going to ask a girl's permission
470
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:23,035
beside I say, "nice rack."
471
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:25,638
You know, I kind of wish
472
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:26,982
I did put some smut in it, though.
473
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,251
People are gonna be disappointed.
474
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:30,643
Don't be... so sure.
475
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,814
"The Mysterious... Forest."
476
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:36,416
Fold A...
477
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,685
to meet B.
478
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:40,453
That's a picture of...!
479
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,555
Thank you... Cinemax.
480
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:47,194
Ew.
481
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:53,600
Freedom's... a glorious... thing.
482
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,767
(giggling)
483
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,304
Oh, Otto, this is such a wonderful party!
484
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,638
Everything is just perfect.
485
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,373
(clears throat)
486
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:01,374
Quiet, please!
487
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:04,511
If everyone could stop their drunken reveling
488
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:05,678
for a second.
489
00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:07,214
Gretchen,
490
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:12,819
my love, my life, my bride of 25 years,
491
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,622
I have finally learned to do something
492
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:19,158
that you never thought I would be able to do.
493
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:21,361
Maestro, if you please?
494
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:23,863
♪
495
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,632
May I have this waltz?
496
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,833
(gasps)
497
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,736
Otto...
498
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:32,705
Oh, uh, I'm sorry.
499
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,207
(mutters)
500
00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:36,543
(shrieks in pain) Oh, oh!
501
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:39,846
I don't understand this.
502
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,349
I was doing this perfectly last night.
503
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:43,316
It's all right, Otto.
504
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,417
I worked so hard
505
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:46,553
to try to prove my love for you.
506
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:47,654
Oh...
507
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,722
I have the same music, I have the same boots,
508
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,023
I have the same...
509
00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:52,759
Aha!
510
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:56,796
Gretchen, prepare to be dazzled!
511
00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:59,866
Aw, geez...
512
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,368
Okay.
513
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:10,277
♪
514
00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:32,799
Thank you, Otto.
515
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:34,967
(floor creaking)
516
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:38,070
What are you doing?
517
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:40,740
Hopefully messing Dewey up for life.
518
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,342
Nice.
519
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:46,245
Oh, my God.
520
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:51,083
He did it.
521
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:53,886
You never even put a seed in his hand.
522
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:54,787
It's like a miracle.
523
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:57,223
The kid actually did it.
524
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,991
This makes it so much funnier.
525
00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:04,063
(both giggling)
526
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:07,634
You put the lipstick on yourself, right?
527
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:09,369
Okay.
528
00:21:10,537 --> 00:21:11,471
No, I'm serious.
529
00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:12,739
You put it on.
530
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,774
Sure.
531
00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:16,576
LOIS: Hal, you did.
532
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,144
Just say you did.
533
00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:19,278
Okay, I did.
534
00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:20,613
Hal...
36144
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