All language subtitles for The.Foot.Fist.Way.2006

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MAN: How long are the
lessons anyway? 45?
That's 45 too many.

I like five-minute lessons.

JULIO: Five-minute lessons,
you're not gonna learn
anything.

MAN: I'm not?
How about 15 minutes?

JULIO: Yeah, 45.

MAN: 45? What about 10?

MAN: It says, "Sign up now.
Self-defense could save
your life."

JULIO: It sure will.
MAN: It will.

WOMAN 1: Thank you very much.

WOMAN 2: That was cool, yeah.

Who teaches Taekwondo?

Mr. Simmons.

Mr. Simmons? Do you like
Mr. Simmons? Is he nice?

WOMAN 2: Is he talented?
Is he good?

WOMAN 1: Is he very good?

He's one of the best
instructors in town.

He is?
Can he break rock?

BOY: Yes.
He can? With his head?

BOY: Yes.

WOMAN: So cute! Look at him!

Showtime, boys.
This is what it's all about,
performing for the people.

Let's go over the plan
real quick, okay?

You're gonna start
things off with your
little floor pattern,

get everybody hooked,
then I'm gonna step up
and seal the deal.

Board breaks.

Simple plan, okay?

So don't fuck this up for me.
This is my life, okay?

Every single person out there
is a potential new client.

Y'all understand?

ALL: Yes, sir.

Okay, pull them in.

Who's the king
of the demo?

You are, Mr. Simmons.
Who?

ALL: You are,
Mr. Simmons.

You're goddamn right, I am.

One, two, three.

ALL: Hiyah!

That's Julio Chavez,

just one of our
black belt students
at Concord Taekwondo.

We got a lot of
those there, huh?

This is,
without a doubt, to me,

one of the most difficult
things in Taekwondo to do,

is to bust them
with your elbow.

And, well,
I fashion myself
a master in this.

So y'all are in
for a special treat
this afternoon.

(FRED GROANS)

(SOFTLY)
Fuck!

Okay! All right!

So, if any of y'all wanna
sign up for classes at
Concord Taekwondo,

we have some sheets here
with information,
phone numbers,

special rates and whatnot.
And...

You know, come talk to me
if y'all wanna learn how
to do some cool Taekwondo.

* Well, I've got soul
that burns like a diamond

* I've got a feeling all
my dreams will come true

* Just like they say every
dog will have its day

* And there's no way
that I'm gonna lose

* 'Cause it's
a dog wild heaven

* Yeah, it's a dog wild heaven

* It's a dog wild heaven

* And there's no place
that I'd rather be *

Nice stretches.

Raul, looks like you got
that acne taken care of.
Looking good, champ.

Come on, girls.
All right,
everybody line up!

ALL: Sir!
Line up.

Feet together.

Charyut kyungneh!

Face senior student!

ALL: Sir!
Kyungneh!

Face the front!
ALL: Sir!

Tenets of Taekwondo.
Begin.

Courtesy, self-control,
perseverance...
Courtesy, self-control,
perseverance...

...integrity,
indomitable spirit, sir.
...integrity,
indomitable spirit, sir.

Kyungneh.

Hey, everybody. You guys
are stretching? I just
got finished doing that.

What are you doing here?
Just come back
from working out?

No, I came from church,
you fucking retard.

Okay, that's wonderful
language that my wife uses
in front of my friends.

Listen, I just came
to remind you about

dinner tonight
with my friends from work.

Okay, let's go ahead
and move to the right.

ALL: Sir!

Could you please take your
shoes off?

My mats are
100 bucks apiece.

So are you gonna
be there tonight,
or what?

Well, I live there,
so I guess I will be there.

I thought we talked about
not doing this kind of
stuff during the week.

Yeah, but I also thought
we talked about how
important it was.

Okay, you're right.
Importance, importance.

Okay, for you,
honey, anything.

But if you could
do something for me,

and just take your
high heels off my mats.

I love you.
I'll see you tonight.

Now this is a man who does
not take shit from anybody,
just like me.

Look at him.
Goddamn movie star.

Beautiful man. Beautiful man.

We're gonna take a road trip
next month to see him.
You should come, dude.

Who do you think
would win in a fight

between Bruce Lee
and Chuck "The Truck"?

What, are you kidding?
The Truck, easy.

He's the eight-year
undefeated kickboxing
champion.

Can Bruce Lee say that? No.
Bruce Lee is dead.

Who do you think
would win in a fight,
you or Chuck "The Truck"?

Hmm.

That one's probably
a little too close to call.

Come on.
Steady up.

Let's not forget
our forms, here.

This ain't a street fight.
This is Taekwondo.

Stop throwing wild punches.

Come on, kicks up.
Come on, not in the face.
Not in the face, okay?

Okay, good.
Work him. Work him.

Okay. Kicks up.

I'm so hungry,
I could eat a grown
man's ass right now.

Dig in. Dig in.
Let's get to business.

This wine
is delicious.

Thank you.

And let me
just say, Connie,

that Fred and I are so
happy to have you and
Carlos over for dinner.

Yeah, usually I don't really
like to have guests around
during the middle of the week,

you know, when I'm working,
but you guys are cool.

It's okay for you
guys to be here.

CARLOS: Thank you.
I think I speak
in Connie's behalf

when I say that we're both
glad to be here. Right, hon?

And, Connie, you, I'd like
to thank you very much for
hooking Suze up with a job.

That was nice of you.

She didn't hook
me up with a job.

I just got her the interview.
Suzie got the job on her own.

So, Carlos, Connie tells me
you're a big-time lawyer.

Yeah, I just passed
the bar exam,

and I'm working for Williams,
Williams and Turner.

And it was all thanks
in part to the G.I. Bill.

That's great.
And look at you,
Connie, he's quite a catch.

Suze, why don't you just
chill out for a minute,
stop flirting.

Connie's sitting
right here next to you.

I wasn't flirting.

Carlos, you better watch out!

I got my eye on you.

I'm just kidding, dude.
Relax. Take it easy, dude.
I'm joking.

Oh, shit!

We forgot to say Grace.

Close your eyes.
Give me your hands.

Honey?
Close your eyes.

Jesus Christ,
we thank you for

not giving us any diseases
that will kill us

and for having jobs

and thank you for this meal
that I bought myself.

Amen.

Whether you're interested
in self-defense,

staying in shape,
or a fun activity
for the entire family,

Taekwondo America
is just what
you're looking for.

And that's who trained me.

And if you so choose,
I could train you as well.

I could teach
you about strength
that lies deep within.

I could teach you
how to unlock power,

I could teach you discipline,
confidence, self-respect.

Yeah, well,
I just moved to the area,

and I was looking for
some sort of workout.

You know,
just to stay in shape.

Taekwondo's terrific
for keeping in shape,

but it's also a deadly
serious killing system.

I mean, it's probably
the best of all martial arts.

I hear Jujitsu is
really good for balance.

Jujitsu sucks.

What you want is Taekwondo.

It's got everything,
mental, physical...

That's good, because when
I was in school abroad,
I really got into yoga,

and that's a lot of breathing
techniques and meditation...

Meditation's terrific and all,
but never heard of it saving
anyone

from a gang rape-type
situation.

Meditate on that. Rape.

I pride myself on really
being able to read people and

understand what's
going through their minds.

And right now, I'm thinking
that you're at about 90%.

I'd like to show
you something

that will take
care of that last 10.

What is it?

Just a trophy
that I won.

A little simple token proving
that I'm the champion of
all North America.

Wow, the North
American Champion?

Yeah, that's right.
1991 Las Vegas Invitational
Open Sparring Competition.

Four days of pain and courage,
but I emerged victorious,
of course.

Back there in the office,
I was beginning to
wonder if this was

some type of a joke.

Why don't you ask the guy
who came in second place?

And, break.
Face your partner.

ALL: Sir!
Kyungneh!

Shake hands.

Okay, rotate.
ALL: Sir!

All right,
everybody just have a seat
for a second. Have a seat.

ALL: Sir!

Now, I'm noticing that a lot
of y'all are just throwing
single kicks and punches.

What you need to be doing
is follow those through
with some combinations. Okay?

Let's start with
a simple one, shall we?

Right hand block,
left hand throws
a distracting back fist,

number one side kick
followed through with a spin
crescent kick to the head.

Sound easy enough?
ALL: Sir!

Okay, let's try it out.
Rick, Marge, hop up.

MARGE: Sir.

Okay, Marge,
ready stance.

Sir.
Okay.

Rick, we're gonna have
you on the attack first.
Throw a round kick.

Block with the right,
distracting back fist,

number one side kick,
and spin crescent kick.

There we go.
Boom. Got him. Got him.

Got you, didn't she, Rick?

No, I was just doing
what you told me to do.

That's fine. Everyone's
entitled to their opinion.

Think you can beat
this combination?

I think Marge and
I know different.
Don't we, Marge?

Yes, sir.

Okay.
Let's do this again.

Marge, ready stance.
Sir.

Keep your eyes on Rick.

And don't forget the
distracting back fist.
That's the key.

Rick, you come
with whatever you got.

Full contact,
no holds barred, okay?

I'm gonna warn you,

I don't think
you're gonna like
how this ends, hotshot.

Face your partner.
Kyungneh.
Sir.

Sparring stances.

Sheejahk!

(MARGE GROANS)

(FRED SIGHS)

She still alive?

Somebody check
her pulse, please.

Fuck you!

What are you doing,
weirdo?

I just scared
the shit out of you
is what I'm doing.

No, you didn't!

You totally thought
you were just
about to get murdered.

Aren't you even gonna
ask me how my first
day at work was?

I'm sorry, Your Majesty,
how was your first day
at work?

Shitty. This Chinese bitch
was trying to start
some shit with me.

She was trying to give
me shit about making
personal phone calls.

And I was like, "Fuck you,
you stupid fucking bitch!

"I'm on my lunch break!"
Okay, well, my turn.

It was pretty cool at work
today because I signed
up a new student.

That's terrific.

She was a girl,
this student was a girl,
a new girl I signed up.

And she's kind of cool,
into different stuff.

Into yoga, meditations,
beautiful bodies,
healthy bodies.

So, what,
you're trying to tell me
you like her or something?

Why do I... 'Cause of what
I told you about yoga?
Give me a break.

No, I'm just telling you
that she just got back
from being abroad, actually.

She was taking
college abroad,
in another country.

She was getting
an education.

So?

You might be interested
in a story like that,
a success story like that.

You don't have a degree.

I don't have
a degree myself?

Sweetheart,
I have four degrees.

College degree and a black
belt degree are the same
thing. Yeah, right.

And you know
what I think?

I think someone who doesn't
have a degree at all

should just go ahead and
just keep to what they know.

Which in your
case is what?

Dental, denter...
Dentist assistory,
or something?

Dentistry.

Dentistry? Whatever.

I can't even believe
that's something that's real.

You know what?
I'm really fucking tired.

I told you I
had a shitty day.

I'm not gonna
play your stupid,

"I'm gonna give you shit after
your first day at work" games,
okay, Fred?

Okay, well, get untired,
because tonight

is two-for-one crab legs
at Captain Olanders.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Buzz.

Stop.
Get you in the knee.

Stop!
Get your face.
Get my own nuts.

Buzz.

That's stupid!
Get me in my balls.

Get him in
his balls.

That's stupid.

Those shoes are
pointy as hell.

I know.

They'll beat yours
up in a fight.

Those shoes aren't gonna
do nothing to nobody.

I'm so glad you got
me out of the house and
brought me here for crab.

Oh, look at that. It beeped
once. Does that mean we're
ready? Lookit!

Who's the king
of the demo?

ALL: You are,
Mr. Simmons.

You're all goddamn right.
I am the king of the demo.

One, two, three.

(WHOOPS)

(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)

Now y'all might wanna
watch your heads in
the first row, here.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
I'm playing with y'all.

Okay, here we go.

(WHOOPS)

How many slices
have you had, Julio?

How about,
you've had enough?

I'm not gonna sit here
and pay for you to
stuff your face.

So, Henry,
how's school been for you?

It's been all right.

Still planning on
going to college?

Yes, sir.

That's okay,
I guess.

Julio, of course,
is up to nothing.

You're aware that
I've been grooming
an apprentice here?

I mean,
I think that's no secret
to any of y'all, correct?

But who's to say that
a general can't groom
two apprentices?

So that, in the case
that Apprentice A

can't hold a single goddamn
board steady during a demo,

you got Apprentice B,
the fail-safe.

Can you hold a board
straight, Henry?

Yes, sir.

I mean, I think as soon as
you get your self-confidence
problem down pat,

I think that the future here
at the studio is gonna be
pretty much wide open to you.

I got two words
for you, "Demo Team."

Can I be on
the Demo Team, too, sir?

I think we're gonna keep you
where you're at, Bruce.

Self-control.

(DOOR OPENING)

Hey.
Hey, what's going on?

Nothing.
What are you doing?

Just trying to fix this
little dude on my patch.

His fist looks
like a little nub.

I'm trying to get
the stitching right.
How was work?

It was all right.

I made a list of who would
be most likely to go
on a killing spree.

Yeah?

It pissed everybody off.

It was actually the
highlight of my day.
It was awesome.

That's cool.

Guess who was the
first one on the list?

Who's that?

You know that girl Jennie
I always tell you about?

Yeah, that fat one?

Yeah.

What the fuck is this?

So, anything else

interesting or odd
happening around work?

Nothing... Not too much.
It sucks, as usual.

We had a little office
party the other night.

Okay.

Suze, sweetheart,

could you

tell me what
the fuck this is?

Or perhaps, like,
what this is?

Because it's my wife's ass.

Why are you going through
my fucking work papers?

This kind of looks like
this is my wife's breast,
perhaps.

What is this?
It's nothing!

My wife's tits on
a Xerox machine.

And just a bunch of dudes.

Time of your life.
Who's this?

A dude with his mouth open.

Who the hell is
this fucking guy?

That's my boss.

Mr. Fisher.

Lil' Steve Fisher's dad?

No, my boss.

Lil' Stevie Fisher's dad,
your boss. Great.

What? What do you
want to know?

What have you been up to?

We just had a party.
Things got out of control.

I really don't know
what else to tell
you besides that.

What? I just need to know
simply what happened.

That's all I'm asking for.
What happened?

Mr. Fisher and I,
we sort of did something.

I got really drunk,
like Myrtle Beach drunk.

What happened?

I gave him a hand job.

You gave somebody
a hand job?

To fit in, to make friends,
you stroked some dude off?

I'm just gonna go stay
with my cousin Julie
for a couple of nights.

(YELLING)

Julio, take over.

Okay, let's line up
for forms!

(ALL CLAMORING)

Guys! Stop! We're supposed
to be practicing our forms!

Yeah, I'm being
totally disgusting.

And you're just
a goddamn angel,
aren't you?

Okay, yeah,
beautiful mouth.

Yeah, fuck me.
Wonderful attitude.

Wonderful fucking attitude!

I hate you, too!

I don't hate you.
Suzie? Suzie? Hello?

God damn it!

You gonna hang up on me?

How about I take my
shotgun and shoot your
fucking tits off!

What are you doing out here?

I don't know, sir.

How long have you been
standing out here for?

I need to talk to you, Julio.
I need to tell you something
very important.

Man to man, okay?
You listening?

Yes, sir.

This world is a dark,
dark forest.

And if you open up
a man and look into
most of their hearts,

you'll find disgust and evil.

You hear me?
Yes, sir.

Your own parents,
your mother and father,

would slit your throat
just to get ahead.

And when you find a wife,
you watch her.

And you don't believe
a single word she says.

Because, at the core,
people are shit.

The only person that
you can trust is me,
your Taekwondo instructor.

I will never sell you out.

Will you ever
betray me, Julio?

No, sir.

I know you won't
because you're loyal.

You're one of my allies.

Now why aren't you out
there teaching class,
like I asked you to?

They're not
listening to me.

Who's not listening to you?

Brandon, Tamika
and Lil' Stevie.

Lil' Stevie Fisher?

Yes, sir.

Fisher, okay.

All right. We're gonna learn
some lessons today, class.
How about some lessons?

Huh? Huh?

Class, as you notice,
Lil' Stevie has a problem
with his defense.

And that problem is,
he has absolutely no defense!

He's weak as hell.
Look at the frustration
in his little Fisher eyes.

Look at him.
He's weak as hell, huh?

Look at that. Now, class,
it's very important to
control your opponent.

Did I get under your skin?
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do?

You gonna do something, huh?
What's up?

(FRED GROANING)

(ALL CHEERING)

Illegal contact!
That's illegal contact!

No, it wasn't!

Oh, shit.

You do not hit my kid!
I don't care what he did!

I don't care if he
spit in your face!

Who the hell do
you think you are?

Well, there must...
Maybe we got something
confused here.

Me and Lil' Stevie were
just having a good time.
Isn't that right, buddy?

You're an idiot!

Oh, I'm an idiot.

Okay, well, you know what?
I didn't wanna bring this out
in front of everybody,

but you're not really
leaving me any choice.

I think you need to take
a good look in the mirror,
Mrs. Fisher.

How well do you think
your marriage is going?

How dare you!

You don't even know, do you?

What the hell are you
talking about, Simmons?

Office party.
My wife. Your husband.

Mr. Simmons,
my husband is dead!

You're making
this really awkward.

Okay, everybody,
it's time for forms.

Derek, you got your cup on?
'Cause I will hit you there.

You're a trainee,
I'm an instructor.
Listen to what I'm saying.

What else you got?
Let me see some moves.

Come on. Weakling.

Come on, let's pretend
like we can do something.
Okay, weak.

Come on, get it over!
What's wrong with you?

You're messing...
You're totally messing up!

Whether you're interested
in self-defense,

staying in shape,
or a fun activity
for the entire family,

Taekwondo America
is just what
you're looking for.

And that's who trained me.

So, shall I draw
up the contracts?

I don't really know.
It just seems so expensive.

Well, you're in luck,
because today we
have a special deal.

It's $19.99 for the
first month, and that
includes a free uniform.

But then it goes
up to $50 a month
after that, right?

Which is also
a terrific deal.

But then you
charge for testings
and sparring gear, right?

I mean, it sounds
great, but it's...

I don't know,
it just seems too expensive.

Okay, I know what
we're dealing with now.

You're one of
those soft people.

Excuse me?

You're lazy,
and I have a good idea
that, when you came in here,

you had no intentions
upon signing up.
Just wasting my time.

You're a weak person.

I could give you the
confidence you need to
correct the situation,

but I don't know.

Doesn't even seem
like it would
probably take to you.

Thank you for
your time, sir.

Thank yourself.

Before you go,
let me leave you
with one thing.

You will always regret this,
and you will never be anything
that's worthy of anything.

Fuck you!

Fuck you, you fatass.

If you were in prison,
you'd be raped

because you exude
feminine qualities.

You're also a big
old fat piece of ass.

Go home,
you piece of shit.
Fuck you!

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Denise, could I see you
in my office for a second,
please?

Denise, you can go
ahead and have a seat.

So how are you doing?

I'm okay.
Class is good.

How about life
outside of TKD?

Did my card go through
and everything?
Is it okay?

Listen, I know I seem like
a serious martial artist,

but outside of class,
I like to cut loose.

I like to have a good time.
Have a beer or two.

Go to a musical dance club.

Just kind of really
get down and just...

Kind of just be free.

That's cool.

Yeah, it's real cool.
You like to party?

We should party
together sometime.

I could give
you a call.

I don't think that
that's such a good idea.
I don't even need to...

We don't even have
to go through the weird
schematics of me asking.

I already got your
number and address
from your registration form.

I don't know.

I know that

you don't really
know a lot about me,

but you're kind of meeting
me at an interesting point
in my life right now.

Me and my wife are
kind of going through some...

I don't know, just kind
of an awkward patch.
Just kind of a weird area.

And I'm just kind
of not really sure

if we're gonna make it
to the other side or not.

Sorry about that.

I went through a breakup
about a year ago.

It was really hard,
so I know it can
really tear people up.

Wow. Did you
just feel that?

What?

I mean, we totally
just connected right there.

I mean, it's, you know,
not every day that

someone will give me advice
that is just totally dead on.
You know?

It just kind of sums up
exactly what I'm thinking.

I appreciate that, Denise.

Thank you very much.
Touch me here.

Let me see your hand.

Okay.

Close your eyes.

You feel that energy?

No.

It's in here.

I wanna thank you,
Denise, for,

you know, just

having some time for an
old champion like myself.

I know I seem like

I'm invincible and
nothing can hurt me,

but that's not
really the truth.

And it takes a special
person to kind of unlock

the real me.

And I feel like, in a way,
that's what you've done here
today with your kind words.

Well, just keep
your head up.

I'm sure you'll
pull through.

I think I will, too.

I'm already starting
to feel a lot better.

Just wonderful.

I think I should go.

Yeah, you better go.

Stop!
ALL: Sir!

Face your partner.
ALL: Sir!

Charyut! Kyungneh!

Shake hands.

All right, rotate.

ALL: Sir!

Face your partner.
ALL: Sir!

Feet together.
Hands by your side.

ALL: Sir!

Kyungneh!

Sparring stance!

(ALL GRUNTING)

And, spar!

Okay, easy, easy!

He won't even fight!

Come on, Henry,
get back in here.
Yes, sir!

I know you got
more juice than that.

Don't waste your parents'
money being a punching bag.
Ridiculous.

Okay, stop.
Rick. Rick!

Stop! Rick! Break!
Everybody, sit down!

ALL: Sir!

Rick! Buddy, you have
some serious anger issues!

Okay, this ain't therapy.
You're not gonna work that
stuff out here.

Everybody knows Henry's weak
and has a confidence problem.

You're gonna try
to exploit that?
Not in my studio!

50 push-ups. Now!

Yes, sir.
FRED: Count them out.

One. Two. Three.

Count them out. Sir!
Four.

Five, sir!
Six, sir! Seven, sir!

Eight, sir! Nine, sir!

You ought to come
over one night.

I make a great crusted salmon
with garlic on asparagus.

You cook?
I love to cook!
Oh, yeah, all the time.

Sure. You ought
to come on over.

We'll try perhaps
adding a second entree,

maybe from some place
you've been overseas.
You been anywhere lately?

Actually, I just came back
from the Netherlands.

Oh, really? Well, maybe
we won't deep fry it,

but maybe something
Indonesian from there.

DENISE: So, when do you
think would be good
for us to get together?

MAN: Probably Wednesday night
would be good for me.

DENISE: Okay, okay.

Suzie, this is Fred, again.

Maybe some of the stuff
I talked to you about
didn't really get through

because I have not
received one phone
call from you today.

To be quite frank with you,
I'm a little ticked off

and pretty much
super pissed, so...

Change it.
Figure out how to
change the situation.

I am not comfortable
with where we are and
this not calling back,

and just kind of

with everything that's
going on, you can understand
where I'm at.

So, I need you to call me
back because I am not happy.

So, what else?
That's it.

I love you very much,
but I still am pissed.

Okay, have a good night.

Henry, where's your ride?

My mom was supposed
to take me home.

What the hell do
they think this is,
a goddamn day care center?

Go get your shit.
I'll take you home.

You know what
a hand job is?

Yes, sir.

It's when a female
strokes a male's genitalia
till he ejaculates.

That's what
a hand job is, Henry.
Sex 101 for you.

Hmm.

Makes me sick to
my goddamn stomach.

I've been married to this
lady for quite some time.

I mean, this is
my fucking life, dude.

I mean, give me
a goddamn break!

I'm married to a goddamn...
Some slut who's gonna jerk
off every motherfucker

that knows how to work
a goddamn computer at her
fucking job?

Jesus Christ!

I mean, this is me
talking to you here.

I'm in full goddamn control,
and shit like this
can happen to me!

What's gonna
happen to you?

'Cause you sure as hell are
a lot fucking weaker than me.

I don't know, sir.
Yeah.

I bet you your
wife's probably gonna
butt-fuck somebody.

Mr. Simmons, my mom's
probably waiting for me.

I'm freaking you
out there, kid.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Let's talk about you.
Wanna talk about you?

Sure.
Yeah.

Why did you start Taekwondo?
How about that? Let's start
with something simple.

I really don't know.

Was it 'cause of bullies?

Sort of.

Bet it was, wasn't it?
I hate that mean shit.

My psychiatrist says
that it's perfectly normal

for, you know, a guy
my age to feel isolated...

Oh, motherfucker!

Oh, my God, that's her!
Get down!

That's her.
That's fucking her.

Look at her,
she's with three dudes.

Three goddamn guys.
Look at that guy.

Look at friendly man
opening up the goddamn
door for her.

See how she's
enjoying herself?

I bet you that's him.
I bet that's fucking
Mr. Fisher.

Look at him.

(BURPS)

They look like they're
about to have sex with
her to you?

I don't know.

(EXCLAIMING)

I wanna hear "sir"!
Count them out!

Sir! Sir!

Sir! Five, sir! Six, sir!

FRED: Sir. Get them up!

(PHONE RINGING)

FRED: Anyone else wanna be
a little jerk like Brandon?

Come on, wake up, Pete!
Come on.

Your weakness is
disgusting to me!

Throw a punch that's
gonna do something!

If you don't wanna try,
then just go ahead
and go home,

'cause you're wasting
both of our time here!

I'm trying, Mr. Simmons!

Try harder.
'Cause right now,
you're sucking.

Mr. Simmons,
I gotta pee-pee.

Pinch it off!

Pete, what the hell
are you doing?
Get in your ready stance!

Julio! Will you answer
the fucking phone?

You're in charge.
You're in charge.
You're fucking in charge.

You're a champion.
You're a champion.

No, you're a fucking phony.

She gave him a hand job.

I'm a winner.

I feel my
fucking power slipping.
My power is slipping.

You're fucking pathetic!
You're pathetic.

No, you're fucking cool.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

I'm a fucking asshole.

They don't know.
They don't know shit.

Confidence, strength.

(SCREAMING)

You better keep it together.
You can keep this together.

Strength, virtue.

I can keep this.
I can make this work.

I can hold myself
completely together.

Fuck! Pull it the
fuck together!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

FRED: I'm sorry, guys.

I just blew it.

And it hurts.

I'm so sorry.

(WHIMPERING)

Mr. Simmons?

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Not today, Julio, okay?
Go sit down.

Go sit with the kids.
Not today.

Go sit down. Okay?

Everybody paying attention?
Eyes up here.

Got a very special treat
for all you guys today.

A close friend of mine,
actually my best friend,

has decided to pay
us a little visit.

This man,
I went to high school with,
I grew up with him,

and we both trained
under Mr. Powers.

I want y'all to give him
the utmost respect,

listen to everything
he has to say,

because if you
pay close attention,
y'all might learn something.

Everyone, let's give it up
for Mr. Mike McAlister.

(ALL APPLAUDING)

5%.

5% of all people

who start Taekwondo

actually make
it to black belt.

1%.

1% become fourth
degree black belts.

Mr. Simmons is a fourth
degree black belt.

I'm a fifth degree.

But I don't believe in belts.

Let's break some cement.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm glad we have
this time to talk.

Right away,
before we go any further,

I wanna establish
a code of conduct.

This trip we're
on is for men,
not little boys.

You guys are gonna
see things that you've
never seen before.

And when we get back,
nobody's gonna tattle.

Right, Julio?

'Cause I'm gonna do
a lot of bad things,

and you guys aren't
going to stop me.

Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.

You guys ever had sex?

(DOOR OPENING)

Y'all getting to know Mike
pretty good back here?

Why don't you go
ahead and buckle up.

No, thank you.

Okay. You guys, buckle up.

If anybody has
to take a piss,
now is the time,

'cause we're getting ready
to get the H-E double hockey
sticks outta here.

FRED: I mean, Julio,
give me a break.

I mean, it's obvious that
Chuck "The Truck" would win

in a fight
against Jeff Speakman.

I mean, Kenpo is the shittiest
of all martial arts.

I mean, it's two
freaking sticks.

It's just ignorant
to think otherwise.
Plain ignorant.

Check this out.

What you got?

Oh, no, you did not!
Oh, my God!

It's Mike's band,
Sexual Warriors.

These guys are
totally awesome.

(BIZARRE MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO)

FRED: This is great.
This sounds so professional.

Wow, man. You did this?

Oh, my God.

How much longer?
Hurry up.

When I told y'all to take
pees before we left,
I was serious about that.

I mean, I gotta take a shit,
you don't see me out here
acting like an animal.

Missing valuable
expo time right now.

Probably already sold
all the good throwing stars.

This is gonna be so awesome.
God, look at all this
Truck stuff!

Hey. It's $5 a ticket.

Okay. Y'all got your money?

I'm not paying for you guys.

There you go.
Thanks.

MAN: There are many
pressure points in the body.
Some can cause extreme pain.

Such as here.

(GROANS)

Another that can cause
a person to pass out.
Please listen carefully.

This move takes
years of practice.

If you do it too fast
or in the wrong place,

you can actually cause
your partner's death.

We have booths
set up in the corner
for our schools...

Fucking amateurs.

ANNOUNCER: And now,
we have a special
treat for everyone!

This is what you've
all been waiting for.

Seven-year undefeated
Open Sparring Champion,

world record Board
Breaking Champion,

the star of 7 Rings of Pain,

Parts I, II, and III!

I know him! You know him!

We're downtown, y'all!
Let's get loud!

Please welcome

Chuck "The Truck" Wallace!

(WHOOPING)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Break that shit!

Oh, my God!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Is this what you want?

There you go, buddy.

WOMAN: Thanks, Chuck.

Mr. Wallace, Fred Simmons.
Pleasure to meet you.

This is Mike McAlister,
and these are
some of my students.

I gotta tell you,
I consider myself to be
a master of the demo,

and I really haven't
seen anything like

what you just showed
everyone in this room.

I mean, that was
really powerful stuff,

and, you know,
I was blown away.

Cool. Thank you.

I own a karate school,
Taekwondo school,

and I just think
that my students
would really love it

if maybe you wanted
to come down for
their testing next month.

Why don't we not
talk business now.

You and your boys,
why don't you
come by my suite?

Room 624. Just come there
later tonight and
we'll hash this all out.

FRED: Are you serious?

Believe it.

Wow.

Definitely. We'll definitely
come by and...

To your hotel room?
Sure.

Oh, my God.

You think that I
could get an autograph?

You're my favorite
movie star.

Julio, where's that money
your mom gave you?

I spent it all.

You spent it on junk?

I spent it on a weapon.

(WHISPERS) God.

I'm about to shit my pants!
This is so fucking awesome!

Goddamn! Look at Julio.
He's not even excited.

(WHOOPING)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
ON STEREO)

Be cool, all right?

You guys on the list?

Yeah, we're guests
of Chuck "The Truck" Wallace.

Chuck, do you
know these guys?

Hey, demo man!

Y'all bring some hot chicks?

Not really.
Just my buddy Mike,
and Henry and Julio. And me.

Then get the fuck
out of here.

I'm kidding!
Come on in! Come on in!

How's it going, ladies?
This is a beautiful town.

We're really
enjoying ourselves.

Guys, you look great tonight.
Perfect.
You throw a good party.

(CHUCK SNORTING DRUGS)

Hey.

Oh, shit. Oh, yeah.
Oh, shit.

See that?
This guy sucks
with the leg work.

This guy is defenseless.

Arms crossed. Trapped.

And you're just handsome.

Good God,
you're handsome, my boy.

To life! Fuck it!

Okay. Oh, shit.
Oh, that's cool.

Oh, shit. Okay.

Hold up, dude.
You got an ID?

It's all right,
I'm with Mr. Simmons.

Yeah, yeah, that's cool.
But I don't know
who the fuck that is.

Y'all know Mr. Simmons?

Hey, you should check out
getting a fake ID.

You know what that is?

No, what?

You're a douche.

(SNIGGERING)

Where'd you get
the beer, Fred?

Somebody left it in the
bathroom, but it tastes fine.
It's fine.

Cage match,
me and a silverback gorilla.

I'm not really
feeling this party.

You know,
just not really coming
off like I planned.

I mean, just a little
disappointed.

Chuck, he hasn't even
said anything
about the demo yet.

It's like he
doesn't even care.

Plus, he obviously
likes you more than me.

MIKE: Perhaps you should
go speak with him about it.

You think so?
Just go and talk to him?

Definitely.
What do you have to lose?

How's my shirt look? Fine?

Looks absolutely beautiful.

Thank you.
Okay, here I go.

Come on, man, isometrics!

Animals don't lift weights.

And animals are strong.

Who wants to see me
with my shirt off?

(ALL CHEERING)

Your body looks
great, Chuck!

Looking good.

Thanks.

Fag.

(ALL LAUGHING)

* In your twisted reality

* Your mind don't
throw no tricks at me

* You're just a kid
in grownup clothes

* A shit-eating baby
from your head to your toes

* You dumbass

* You ugly fucking jerk

* You fucking asshole

* And you're ugly as hell

Fuck!
MAN: Armand!

Motherfuck. Armand,
are you all right? Armand!

You just killed
fucking Armand,
you motherfucker!

Oh, Christ. This is
The Truck's party, guys.

We can't be fighting.
What the hell are
you doing, Henry?

You're a bunch of
fucking assholes!

Julio, Jesus Christ, dude!

Fuck it, get ready!

What?

You think it's cool just
to come into my party

and beat up the band?

I think that's cool as shit!

Armand, Emmanuel, get up.

Bring these boys some beers.

They've earned them.
And you know what?

That little
karate testing thing,
I'm gonna do it.

For real?
Yeah.

You'll come to the school
and do the testing?

Oh, yeah.

God damn!
That's awesome, Chuck.
Thank you very much.

'Cause I like you,
10 grand.

Ten grand.

I don't really have
that kind of money.

It's a friend price.

A friend, huh?

Let's party, people!
Come on!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

* Little by little I'm losing
My love for you girl

* It doesn't pay a lot
For me to replace you

* We talked and talked until
the days turned black, girl

* Just come on, no surprise,
I'm turning my back *

(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)

Everything changes
starting today.

Today, I'm gonna teach
y'all about your forms.

If y'all would like to
get to your next belt,
which I'm assuming you would,

you're gonna have to
know these things correctly.

This is kind of rushed.

We only got two
weeks until the testing.

A lot of y'all know I've
had some personal stuff
happening with me,

and, you know,
kind of threw me
for a loop there.

I got weak for
a little bit of time.

Just about that little bit.

But now we need to
put that behind us.

We need to step
up to the plate.

We need to accept
what's in front of us,

and we just
need to go for it.

This testing is
humongous for us.

Chuck "The Truck" Wallace
is gonna be there.

(ALL CHEERING)

We're in the spotlight.

It's our time to shine.

Think y'all are
ready for this?
Think you can handle it?

Yes, sir!
Yes, sir!

I didn't hear you.

I said, do you think
y'all can handle this?

Yes, sir!
Yes, sir!

Let's begin, shall we?

The name of your
form is Chon-Ji.
It has 19 movements.

The yellow belt represents
the earth in which
the plant takes root.

Do-San is a pseudonym
for the patriot.

Hung Chung-ho!

The green belt signifies
the plant's growth

as the skill of
Taekwondo develops!

The blue belt
signifies the sky.

Toi Gai is the pen name
of noted scholar Yee Wong.

The name of the form
is Hwa-Rang.

Red belt means danger.
It cautions the student
to use control.

One! Two!

Tight fist. Tight fist.

Blocks up. Keep them up.

One! Two! One! Two!

Good form, Bruce. One!

Keep your fingers
together, Rick.

Two!

One!

Two! Three!

Four!

Keep your stance.

Hiyah!

Hiyah!

What are you doing here?

I'm so stupid!

What happened?

Those assholes fired me.

So, I mean,
what are you doing here?

You're my rock.

I realized that I
need your confidence
and your strength.

Because I'm so strong.

Yeah.

That's why you're
coming back to me,

because you've realized
how strong I am.

I mean, I know I may seem
like I'm the strongest man

that you've ever known
before or ever met,

but the fact of
the matter is that

I'm penetrable, you know?

I have a human heart
that ticks under here and...

I know. I'm so sorry.
You make me feel safe.

Who doesn't wanna
feel safe, you know?

But I got to feel safe, too.

And in order for
that to happen...

I could be the bigger man,

but you're gonna have
to be the smaller woman,
to some extent.

I know. I will.

I just need
you to say it.

I love you.

Not that.

I'm sorry.

Not that, either.

Let's just not say anything.

You took your shoes off.

I don't ever
wanna disrespect you
in your house again.

Don't you ever
disrespect me.

There's not really
an easy way to
put this, but...

What me and you had?
It's no more.

It's over with now.

I know this is gonna be
hard for you to take,

but I think you might just
wanna take a moment
and just let it soak in.

Just take it.

Mr. Simmons,
I really need to go
practice my forms.

I'm patching things
up with my wife,

and it really is
probably not gonna work

if a former flame of mine
is taking class here.

So, unfortunately for you,
I'm tearing up your contract.

You're kicking
me out of class?

That's one way
of looking at it.

Or you could look
at it the way I do,

which is that we
were just two stars

kind of moving
through the space

and we kind of
found our own path.

This is ridiculous!
You're ridiculous!

Okay. Let's not
ruin the memories.
Just be nice.

There's no
reason to get nasty.

(DOOR CLOSING)

Well, I rebuilt the engine
about a year ago.

New tires, new brakes.

Gotten this baby up to 157
on the open highway,

plus there were
2,000 rpm's left.

It's a very special car.
It means a lot to me.

And sure I wanna sell it,
I wanna get rid of it,

but that doesn't mean
I'm gonna unload it
on any little yahoo

that comes in
here off the street,
thinking this car's neat-o.

I wanna check
your credentials.

I gotta know what
kind of man you are.

Why don't you tell me
a little bit about yourself?

Well, I've always wanted
to drive a car like this,
since I was a teenager.

I've got two kids,
and I've got
debt up to my ass.

My wife said she'd divorce me
if I wasted my money on this.

I don't care.
I want it, anyway.

I hear what
you're saying.

And I like it.
You got yourself a deal.

A toast.

Here's to finding
our footing again.

To traveling along paths that
we think are the right paths,

but end up not
being the right paths,

but discovering the path
we were on originally was
perfect for us.

And to the magic
that lies in
each of our souls

that can create love

and cherishness

forever.

So that's my office in there,
where I do a lot of my work.

If you don't mind,
I'm just gonna
introduce you to everybody.

They'll get
a kick out of this.

Everybody!
We've a special guest today
all the way from Hollywood.

I'd like you to meet
Chuck "The Truck" Wallace,
everybody.

(ALL CHEERING)
Yeah, give him a hand.
Wonderful, wonderful.

Go on with what you're doing.
Go back to what
you were doing.

As you can see,
I kind of run
the gambit here.

I teach everything
from little guys,
little kindergartners,

to senior citizens.
It's not a big deal.

Raul, you think you wanna
show The Truck your 360?

Check this out. Watch this.

Look out.
What you think about that?

That's great.

Good job, Raul. Good job.

Hey, you got that money?

Yeah. A business man.
I can appreciate that.
I'm a businessman myself.

The money's actually
back at my house.

I had to sell my car for it,
but anything for you is cool.

I don't give a shit.

We'll just go
back to my house.

Mitchell, you wanna
meet The Truck?

You wanna shake
The Truck's hand?

Mitchell here
was a basket case
till I got a hold of him.

Now he's dressing sharp,
making good grades,
slaying the ladies.

Come on. Don't be shy.
Shake The Truck's hand.

Hey, can we get
the fuck outta here?
I'm shitfaced.

Yeah, yeah.
You go back to your stuff.
Yeah, that's totally fine.

Here we are.
This is the master bedroom.

This is where I
usually sleep,

but you can
sleep here tonight.

Me and Suze are
just gonna go ahead
and crash on the couch.

So, you know,
feel free to spread out,
do whatever you want to.

Cool.
It's up to you.

My wife decorated this room.
It kind of has like
a Myrtle Beach theme.

She's really
into dolphins.
Chuck?

My wife has beautiful taste.
She pretty much
decorated everything.

Speak of the devil,
there she is now.
Home from work?

Hey.

Why don't you hop on up
and meet our guest here?

This is Chuck
"The Truck" Wallace.
Chuck, this is my wife Suze.

Pleasure.
Nice to meet you.

What a charmer
this one is, huh?

She'll probably never
wash her hands again,
I swear to God.

That's how she
is with stars.

Some party you're
having here, Salazar.

Guess my invitation
got lost in the mail.

Look at that. Look at that.
What a coincidence that is.

AXE: Unfortunately for you,
I've got an ax to grind.

This is great.
This is absolutely terrific.

You know,
I got my beautiful wife here,
I love you, Suzie,

and my best hero.

You mind if I call you that,
"my best hero"?

Let's stick
with Chuck.

I just feel so lucky
right now. I really do.

This is a moment I would like
to just have last forever.

Well, I gotta go
ahead and make tracks.

I gotta go teach Taekwondo.

So, if y'all are set here,
everybody's feeling
comfortable and stuff...

Just make yourself at home.
Do whatever you need to do.

I'm gonna go
teach the young ones.

I'll be back shortly.
Be good, okay?

And have fun.

(DOOR CLOSING)

Don't worry,
we're friends till the end.
The bitter end.

You ready for tomorrow,
Bruce?

Damn right, sir.

Think you owe me 10 bucks.

Yes, sir.

You got a ride home?
Yeah, I do.

Perfect.
Thank you.

Have a good night.
Get some rest.

You, too.

CHUCK: Say it.
SUZIE: I love you.

Say it again.
I love riding The Truck.

Come on, say it louder.

I love riding The Truck!
Oh, that's good.

There you go.

What the hell, Suzie!

SUZIE: Holy shit! Fred,
what are you doing home?

What the hell
is going on?

FRED: You're gonna
do this to me again?

SUZIE: It's nothing.
It didn't mean anything!

Oh, God, baby,
it's not what you think!

You were fucking him!
We were just talking.

Yeah, talking!

Guys, come on,
it's just sex.

No. This is it!
I've about had enough of you!

I was excited to come home
and just hang out with you,

and I come home
and I see this!

Baby, it didn't mean anything!
He's a movie star!

I know he's a movie star!

I'm the one who got him
to come here for my
fucking testing!

Listen, let me just
talk about this.
Can we go outside?

We're gonna go outside,
all right. We are definitely
going outside.

I always told people
we'd never fight.

I was so goddamn excited
when you agreed to
come to my testing.

I know you're a warrior,
so I'll give you

the basic right of stretching
before our battle.

But besides that,
I ain't gonna give you shit.

Not mercy.
Not even forgiveness.

Let's hurry up and do this.
I gotta get back to
fucking your wife.

What did you just say?

I said, "Let's
hurry up and do this..."

That was stupid.

Get ready to get
run over by The Truck.

That shit barely
even hurt me, dude.

Okay. Okay.

All that and my shirt's
still tucked in. Pathetic.

How about this?
Shit.

Motherfucker. Goddamn.

Hurts a lot more when
it's not for points.

Come on. Come on,
big boy. Come on.

All right,
you motherfucker.

How about that?
How about that, huh?

Take that, you adulterous
motherfucker, you.

What you got now?
Got any left inside of you?

Oh, God. Oh.

You motherfucker!
You spit on me!

I told you.
Is this worth $10,000?

You're such a fucking
dick sucker! God!

Fuck you!

What the fuck?

Fuck you!

(AIRHORN SOUNDING)

Mr. Powers, I'm Mark Love.
Good to see you.

We have seats at
the Judges' Table
for all of you.

Where's Mr. Simmons?

He's on his way.

Everybody,
line up for forms!

Where's Mr. Simmons?

I said, "Line up!"

ALL: Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.

Today, you will be testing
for your new belt.

Mr. Simmons isn't here,
so I'll be running
the testing today.

Does anybody have
a problem with that?

ALL: No, sir!

I didn't hear you!
Does anybody have
a problem with that?

ALL: No, sir!

Show me a ready stance!
ALL: Sir!

Somebody really
beat him up.

Sorry I'm late.
Where are we?

This looks bad,
Mr. Simmons. Bad.

Julio, where are we?

We're done,
you understand me?

JULIO: Red belts still
have to do their sparring.

Thank you, Julio.
You're a good instructor,
buddy.

Thanks, Mr. Simmons.

You're forgetting
your place here, Fred.

Fuck off.

Good morning, everyone,
and welcome to our testing.

I'm okay. I'm all right.

Had a little
accident last night,
but I'm doing okay.

Rick, Henry,
line up for sparring.

Face your partner!

Kyungneh!

Rick, bow!

Sparring stances!

Sheejahk!

Fred, you need
to make them stop.

Let them go.

Somebody's gonna get hurt.

(ALL CHEERING)

Stop! Rick!
Henry! Stop!

Henry, 25 push-ups
for going too hard.

(ALL CHEERING)

Mr. Wallace,
it's an honor to meet you.

Yeah, well,
I'm a man of my word.

Mr. Simmons,
what are you doing?

You think Mr. Wallace
is so freaking cool.

I'm sorry about this,
Mr. Wallace.
Let me get some...

Now, let's just
all settle down.

Apparently, he's had
some trouble at home.

That concludes our
testing for today.

Now, stick around
because we have a
special demonstration

from the legendary
Chuck "The Truck" Wallace.

Shit.

Jesus, baby,
you look terrible.

Well, that's because
I got into a fight because
of you and your ways.

Look, I know this
has been hard on you.

This has been so hard on me.

Let's just forget
about all this.

Let's just start over,
put everything behind us
and just start brand new.

Just let bygones
be bygones?

Yeah.

You can go and have
a little hand
job party at work,

and then have
sexual intercourse
with the hero of my life,

and then 'cause
it doesn't work out
the way you want it to,

you're just gonna come back
to me and everything's
gonna be hunky-dory.

Do you wanna know
why I cheated on you?

Hmm?

Take a good look in
the fucking mirror.

You wear this piece
of shit outfit for real!

This isn't a uniform,
this is a costume!

You're the king of the
dumbest fucking kingdom!

I want you to take a good look
at that ring on your finger,

and then take
a good look at me!

And you tell me,
are you really ready
to give this up?

Let me think about
that for a second.

Okay, I've thought
about it.

And I think my
answer to that question

is gonna have to be,
"Fuck you."

Fuck me?

I don't care if you
wake up in a ditch

with grown men shitting
on you and jumping on
top of your head.

Maybe your nose will turn
into a big old dick and you
can stroke that all the time.

I hope your hair turns
into dog shit one day.

You wake up and you
run your comb through it,

and all that it is,
is little trundles
of dog shit.

The worst shit that
you could imagine.

AIDS.

It's cool. Everything comes
around, sweetheart.

What are you doing?

I'm relieving myself.

Jesus!

(ALL CHEERING)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Turn that shit off.

Track number three, Julio.

So it begins.

Go!

(ALL CHEERING)

ALL: (CHANTING)
Chuck The Truck!
Chuck The Truck!

Chuck The Truck!
Chuck The Truck!

(ALL CHEERING)

ALL: (CHANTING)
Chuck The Truck!
Chuck The Truck!

Chuck The Truck!
Chuck The Truck!

Chuck The Truck!
Chuck The Truck!

Chuck The Truck!
Chuck The Truck!

ALL: (CHANTING)
Simmons! Simmons! Simmons!
Simmons! Simmons! Simmons!

Henry Harrison.

Thank you, sir.

(APPLAUDING)

Well, that concludes
our awards ceremony.

But before y'all leave,
there's one
further announcement.

Mr. Roy Powers was very
impressed with our testing

and he has decided
that our school

will be implementing
a student oath.

He has chosen me to be
the architect of this
document.

I will now read to you
the new student oath
for the first time.

Student oath! Begin, sir!

"I shall observe
the tenets of Taekwondo!

"I will always
obey my instructor
and senior students!

"I will never
misuse Taekwondo!

"I will be a champion
of freedom and justice!

"I will always be
righteous and help build
a more peaceful world!"

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

* Oh, baby, come on now

* Oh, not like that

* I don't even know that girl

* No, she's nothing to me

* Come on, listen to me

* She's not even that pretty

* If you ask me again
I'll tell you I didn't do it

* Well, that's my story
and I'm sticking to it

* Oh, Mr. Officer

* That's not mine

* Hey, I didn't know
this was our property

* If you ask me again
I'll tell you I didn't do it

* Yeah, that's my story
and I'm sticking to it

* Does it really matter
to you?

* You're on a one-way road

* There's only one way to go

* If you ask me again
I'll tell you I didn't do it

* Yeah, that's my story
and I'm sticking to it

* Well, that's my story
and I'm sticking to it *

(MAN SOBBING)

(PUNCHING)