All language subtitles for Taskmaster (NZ) - s06e02 - Toxic Sexual Energy

- Paul!

[theme music playing]

- Yes!

- Oh, man.

- Au revoir!

- Yeah!

- Oh.
- No!

- Ha!

- Kia ora koutou and
welcome to Taskmaster.

Tonight, five comedians will compete
in a series of tasks that are as

frustrating as they are
trivial, all in pursuit of this.

A beautiful golden trophy that
previous winners have discovered is

massively undervalued
at cash converters.

And those five comedians are...

Alice Snedden!

Bree Tomasel!

Jack Ansett!

Jackie van Beek!

And Pax Assadi!

And to my left is a man who is saved
in my phone as "Leggy Brunette Work".

It's Paul Williams!

I'd like a prize task
straight away, please, Paul.

Of course, Jeremy.

So as always, we've asked
our contestants to each

bring in a prize from home.

The winner of tonight's episode
will take home all five prizes.

Tonight, we've asked them to
bring in the thing that is way

heavier than it looks.

Let's start with Bree.

I think let's just show my
prize that I've brought in.

Now obviously, a child
can lift it up, not heavy.

or so you think, because I've
filled this particular soft

toy with two goon sacks.

Quite heavy, one in the
head, one that is in quite a

precarious position.

That genuinely is an
unfortunate position for the nozzle

of the goon, isn't it?

You should see when you want
to drink it straight from the

sack to your mouth, looks even worse.

Alice, what did you bring in?

- Again, I think we
should just show it, really,

so that I can speak to what you see.

Yeah.

- Oh.

- So, obviously, Marley and
Me, it's a movie starring,

as you can see, Jennifer
Aniston and Owen Wilson,

and it features a dog.

What could seem
lighter fare than that?

And then what's crazy about
this film is the dog dies.

You cannot get through
this film without crying.

Even now, it rips me apart.

Would you prefer if the
dog was dead on the cover?

I just think that would
have been a more honest cover.

Jackie, what did you bring in?

Did you just call me Jackie?

Or did I imagine that?

Oh, right, sorry.

This is Jackie.

Jackie's beside you.

There's a person next to you.

Yeah, sorry about that.

I thought you'd just
developed a pet name for me.

Jackie, what did you
bring in for your prize task?

Well, Jeremy, I...

Sorry, as you were, as you were.

Jackie, what did you bring in?

[Alice] Well, I'd like to, sorry.

Just a little woman on
woman crime right there.

- Yeah.
- All right, here we go.

Jackie, what did you bring in?

- A cake.

I baked a cake.

- It doesn't look very heavy.

- Okay, it is heavy.

Because if you look at my second shot,

you'll see that I
very cleverly managed

to find three very large rocks,

stuffed them into the cake
tin, barely able to carry it.

- Jack, what did you bring in?

- Me?

- Yes, you.

- I brought in a Minecraft book.

Not very heavy at
all, but if you open it,

you'll see I've replaced the interior

with the boy in striped pajamas.

Which is not a very light read.

- And at the end of it, the dog dies.

- If you spell dog, D-A-W-G.

- Paul.

- Pax.

- Yeah, talk to me.

- What's your thing
that you've brought in

that's heavier than what it looks?

- You have a Pakistani mother, yes?

- I have a Pakistani stepmother.

- Yeah, beautiful.

- Yeah.

- Pakistani mothers, they
have a lot of expectation.

- They do.

- So what I have brought in
is the overbearing weight

of the expectation of
a Pakistani mother.

And to represent
that, I've brought this.

My mother gives me one of
these once every couple of months.

Hoping that it'll
inspire me to take a paper.

I know, from my own
experience with a

Pakistani stepmother,

that the weight of expectation of a
Pakistani mother is intense and heavy.

It's scary.

It's scary, but it doesn't
surprise me. So you get one point.

My mother is gonna beat me after this.

I also have watched Marley and
Me, it is one of the saddest things

I've ever seen in my entire life

so I'm aware of that, so it's not
heavier than what you'd expect.

Yeah, but did you know that going in?

Absolutely.

Because people like
you spoiled it for me.

So you get two points.

Fair enough, yeah.

Three points for Jack.

Yep, still going with that.

Four points for Jackie
and five points for Bree.

Okay, let's get into the
first proper task, Paul.

- Sure thing, Jeremy.

There's no I in team,

but there is a team
task in my Ipad.

Here it is.

- Hello, Pax.

- Paul.

- Hello, Bree.

- Jesus!

- How are ya?

- Good, thank you.

How are you?

- Yeah, great.

I'm doing real well.

- I'm sorry for my
exaggerated response.

I freak out when
white people surprise me.

- G'day mate, how are ya?

How are ya.
- How the hell are ya?

- Nice to see ya.
- Good to see ya, hey.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Great to see ya.

- Good stuff.

- You look well.
- So do ya.

- You look real well.

- Hello Alice.

- Hi Paul.

- Hello Bree.

- Moved my locker.

- It's just better angles to film.

- 'Cause I'd say if
you had Bree's locker.

- I'm comfortable with those.

- Don't look at it.

- Ooh.

Out alpha the rest of your team.

And assert yourself as
the dominant member.

- Most alpha wins.

- Don't let the rest of the team know.

- Or you'll receive zero points.

You have until the
end of your next task.

- Your time starts now.

- This feels like a
character assassination.

Do it! Now!

You're not doing it.

I'm also an alpha.

- Oh, you are too, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Pick that up, Paul.
- No.

Pick it up now.

Oh, see?

I'm a natural, Paul.

Well, no. White person...

Jesus!

Jack Ansett.

Jack Ansett.

Jack Ansett.

I don't really know.

Have we elected a team
leader yet or anything?

Are we supposed to do that?

I think I should probably--

Yeah, you can be team leader.

OK, do you want me to read it?

Good to see you.

I'll read this, eh?

Nah, mate, I've got it.

Step aside.

As team leader, I will
allow you to pick it up, Pax.

- To be honest, I love reading
it and I love doing it for you.

- Yeah, nice.

- Draw a portrait.

- That depicts the taskmaster.

- That depicts the
taskmaster playing ping pong.

- Best portrait wins.

- You must have at least one
ball bouncing at all times.

- If no balls are
bouncing, the task is over.

- You may only draw
one line at a time.

- And must take turns drawing.

- Okay, I'll draw first.

Sorry, I haven't finished reading.

- Oh, okay.
- Just give me a sec.

- You have 12 minutes maximum.

So my advice would be,

when you're going to grab
a ball, if there's two--

- What is it about you that thinks

you need to tell two women

how to do something as
simple as bounce a ball?

I find that quite
upsetting, to be honest, in 2025.

Whatever's going on here has to stop.

- Alice and Bree, that is the
most passive-aggressive meeting

- And the history of the
show, that was full on.

- I still feel
uncomfortable thinking about it.

- Yeah, there was a real
sort of toxic sexual energy.

- Jackie, had you met
Jack at that stage?

Did you know much about him?

- No.

- I thought, oh dear,
okay, he is like a kind of,

an excitable, young...

- Leader.

- No.

- I do feel I owe an apology to Jack.

I ran out of paper and
that's why these two

didn't also get the task.

- Oh.

- It was really confusing.

- Yes.

- 'Cause I know Jack,

and he walked in being like,

"I wanna be the leader."

And I was like,

"You're the least
leader-y guy I know."

- Yeah.

- Who are we gonna see first Paul?

- Up first, it's
Jackie and Pax being led

by their undisputed
team leader, Jack Ansett.

- Thank you.

- As leader of the group,

I'm just gonna say
Jackie's gonna bounce,

and we're gonna draw.

- But could you be
sending us up Schitt's Creek?

- Should we have a new vote?

- What are we voting on?

- On the leader.

- Who votes that Jack
should be the team leader?

It would be a really
good opportunity for me

as a young person to step
up into a leadership role.

You need to give me an
opportunity to rise up in the ranks.

- What do you think
the ranks currently are?

- Well, I just feel I'm
the least experienced.

- I would say the
least successful as well.

- The least successful.

- Financially, probably the
least, like the shakiest.

- Okay, I'll give you
money if I can be the leader.

- Okay, 10 bucks.

- Yep, done.

- I want Lego F1.

- Done.

So don't blow your whistle yet, Paul.

- We're just gonna have a practice.

There's no pressure,
there's no pressure.

- No, don't you get involved.

- Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

- You lost.

- What are you doing?

- Can I make a suggestion?

- Yeah, I'll sort this one out.

- Yeah, yeah.

When Jack comes in, he
doesn't touch the ball.

- Yeah, as team leader, I
think that's a really good idea.

- Jack, when you draw.

- When I draw?

- When each person draws, say done.

- When each person draws, say done.

- Why are you
repeating what I'm saying?

- 'Cause I'm the leader.

- Before we start, just
because I'm the leader,

would really give me
confidence if you guys could go,

"Jack is the leader, ooh, ooh, ooh."

- I will not do that.

- There is no way.

- I'll give you 20
bucks and another Lego.

- Jack is the leader, ooh, ooh, ooh.

- On my whistle.

- Say, "Done."

- Done.

- Done.

Don't touch it.

- Done.

- Done.

- Done.

Go, go Jack.

Don't touch it.

Don't you dare touch it.

Don't even look at
it. Don't look at it.

- No, I'm not, I'm not.

- Good leadership, Jack.

- Yes, Paul.
- Don't touch it.

- Not touching.

I'm making the decision
to not touch, not you.

- Done.

- Done.

- Done.

Don't touch.
- Yep.

- Just a mental health check.

How's everyone coping?

As the leader, it's a
good thing to check in on.

[ Jackie yelling]

- What are you doing Pax?

Where's the ball?

- Oh my God.
- You got it.

- Well done, Pax.
- Quick, quick, quick.

- Well done.

- Done.

- Someone's gotta call it

when we think the
drawing's gonna get worse.

- It's getting quite explicit.

- And done.
-And done.

- Well done, Pax.
-Our balls are bouncing.

- Yep.
-Okay, excellent.

- I was just having a moment with Pax.

- Can we do that
again, but just without--

- Well, can you not go for it? I'll
give you authority

over that as team leader.

- Thank you.

- Jack, in your experience
with alphas, do they normally

bribe people to be the leader

and then just repeat
what the other people say?

Look I did my best in a dire
circumstance these two have the

egos of a I guess you, I don't know.

- Woah.
- And it was like....

[Pax] Unnecessary.
...pipe down bro pipe down.

Where was this energy during
the task?

The alpha task is over.
- I'M NOT DONE!

It's time for our team of two
and this team ain't big enough

for the both of them.

It's Alpha Alice and Big Dog Bree.

- So do you understand the task?

I can explain it to you if you like.

- Nah, I got it.

It doesn't take long for me
to get that sort of stuff.

Yeah.
- So you understand?

- I get it.

I probably get it the most.

- You think you get
it more than Alice?

- Yeah, I think so.

I've got you.

I am a leader and I can sort this out.

- Yeah, I'm more kind of
the quiet, confident type.

You've heard of those leaders.

You're Nelson Mandela.

- On my whistle.

- Drop the ball.

- Oh no.

- I think both balls have stopped.

- That's not true.

- Both balls have stopped.

- I want a video replay.

Anyway, Paul, it's just been lovely.

Thank you, man, I appreciate that.

- Thank you.
-Bree, what a class act.

- Cheers, mate.

- Yeah, sure, there, there.

- What do you have in
common, do you think,

in terms of your
alphaness with Nelson Mandela?

- Listen, I regret
making that comparison.

Obviously, I should
have shown more deference

to the great Nelson Mandela,

but maybe he'd be flattered.

- Before you score
the secret alpha task,

the task did say,

"Don't let your team
know about the alpha task."

So here's Bree and Alice
right after that task.

- I couldn't hear what--

- I couldn't make out any of that.

- I couldn't, could you
make out what was said?

I couldn't.

- Yeah, you were basically saying--

- I said, "I'm so happy
you had the same thing."

- Oh, what were you talking about?

- We were talking
about the STI that we had.

[Laughter]

- Yeah, we both had syphilis.

- Syphilis, syphilis.
- Okay.

- And we were worried that
we'd spread it to each other,

but it was a huge relief to
find out, no need to panic.

- You both had it.

- Everyone in the
interaction has syphilis.

- Do you buy that?

- No.

- What?

- Why would we say on
national television

that we both had syphilis?

- That is a good point.

- No, it's not a good point.

- Okay.

- So first of all, let's
talk about the drawing,

because that was the task, right?

- Wow.

- So clearly Jack, Jackie and Pax,

that's a better
drawing than Alice and Bree.

- Okay.

- I would say four and I
suppose you'd give it one.

- Yeah.

- I have to give it
one, it's something.

- Yeah, if your kid brought that home,

you'd put that up on the fridge.

- I would not put that on the fridge.

- Okay, so how do you
wanna score the alpha task?

- I think these guys
don't get any points at all.

They knew, they knew.

- In all seriousness,
I would just warn you

about the optics of
penalising two queer women.

Nope, okay.

Thank you.

- I think their mind is made up.

- My parents are refugees.

- Sorry.

- Thank you so much.

- I'm pescatarian.

You know?

I've had a pretty
privileged upbringing.

Sit down! Sit down!

The Alpha task, I think
these two were disqualified.

Zero points for both of them.

And then I reckon Jack...

Well, these guys didn't know
that he was being the Alpha.

- They had no idea at all.
-Not at all!

- He needs five.
-Invisible!

- It was one of the...
-Five for all three?

I think five for all three.

- Five for all three.
- He's the new Alpha!

That's crazy.

I suggest we move on.

- Absolutely.

- Okay, where do the scores sit

for the episode so far, Paul?

- Alice is in last on three.

In first with 13
points, Jackie Van Beek.

- Oh!

- Nice.

- Okay, I am ready
for another task, Paul.

- Of course, Jeremy.

And this one's a piece of cake.

- Oh no.

Paul!

Hello Bree.

Hi Paul.

Hello Jack.

Hello Pax.

Hello Alice.

Okay.

Oh.

Birthday.

Find your cake and eat it too.

I love cake.

Fastest to eat some of the cake wins.

The cake is in this room.

Correct?

Your time starts now.

Is it a trick?

- What do you mean?
-Is cake a metaphor?

- No, it's cake.
-Is it actual cake?

- It's cake.
-Do you know I'm dairy free?

Do you know I'm gluten intolerant?

- Are you?
-Ah, I can't say.

Okay, because I'm
intolerant to your bullshit.

Oh my god, okay.

That seems like a pretty simple task.

I'll tell you what, this is

the one task I hoped was going to get

get cut out of the show.

- Who's pudding pursuit
are we gonna see first?

- Let's start with
the single syllables.

Pax, Jax, and Bree.

- Sit up.

- Sit up!

- Sorry for yelling.

- Do you know where it is?

- I know where the cake is.

- Right here.

- Oh, it's not a cake!

It's made to look like a cake!

- That's not cake, man.

- That's icing as well.

- That's icing.

- That's icing.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- Is this what you want, Paul?

- Oh, was that even icing?

Is it like tar-based?

What is this?

- If I touch everything in
this room, I'll find it.

- Touch, touch, touch,
touch, touch, touch, touch.

- This is a citizen watch.

- Did you just put that in your
pocket?

Oh, a sword.

It's in this room.
- Yes.

Is it behind the crew?

This is a sound man.

This is a cameraman.

This is a photographer.

None of these people are cake.

I've lost my mind.

I miss my kids.

It's looking like at this
point I'm not going to find it.

Who here is willing to
accept some kind of bribe to

forget about your jobs?

They can't forget about their jobs.

They have to man a camera.

Cameras aren't going to operate
themselves.

It smells like cake over here.

It might be my eau de cake.

These cameras have
to be pointing at it.

Never mind, there's camera in
literally every direction.

Okay, um...

I'm now reaching the
point of, like, anger.

I'm getting to anger.

Okay.

Well, I have to make a cake.

Do I just allow
myself to get to anger?

Or do I do what my therapist said

and take myself out of the situation?

I think believe in myself.

In the meantime, I'll
keep looking for the cake.

Can you give me a hint?

If you give me something in return.

I've got an old
prezzie card, 50 euros.

- Tell me the colour of the cake.

- What is the colour of the cake?

- Black.
- The cake is black.

- Black, okay.

- The cake is black?

[Beep] you.

- Where else can I look?

- What?

- Ah!

- It's cake.

- Here's your stupid cake.

- Thank you.

- Oh my God.

- Pax, Jack, Bree, who
had fun with that game?

- Yeah, you really edited that down.

- For you Bree, tell us
about the range of emotions

that you go through, because at first

I think you'd be optimistic.

- Yeah, I was really optimistic,

and then I was like excited,
and then I was frustrated,

and then I was a little bit horny,

and then I was like frustrated again.

- That was the only task
I contemplated giving up.

- I did too.

Yeah, I ate so much
icing on fake cakes.

I had the runs after.

- How was the timing, actually?

'Cause it seemed like, what?

Five, 10 minutes or something?

- Pax found the cake in
38 minutes and 29 seconds.

Bree and Jack had
almost the exact same time.

So Jack took one hour,
five minutes, and 13 seconds.

- Hell yeah!

- Bree took one hour, five
minutes, and nine seconds.

- No!
-Wow.

- So yes, only four seconds in it.

Your cake, what happened to that?

- Because I was
convinced it was a trick

and I thought, "Okay,
I'm going to have to make

"the cake myself."

And as the cake was baking,

I pretty much walked straight
back into the room and saw it.

My only regret is I
didn't put it in front of Paul

like Trunchbull and make him eat it

like he was Bruce Bogtrotter.

- So Jack's cake.

- Oh, it's lovely.

- It looks not bad.

I ate it and it was
maybe the saltiest thing

I've ever eaten.

It burned my mouth.

It was like the Dead Sea times 100.

Up next, she's in the movies,

so she knows how to find the camera.

It's Jackie Van Beek.

- Oh, is it that thing?

No, that's fake.

That's that.

What, do you call that cake?

- Mm-mm.

Sorry.

I do find it quite hard
just seeing stuff, actually.

- You need to think like a
cake that's trying to hide.

- Sometimes when I do that,
when I lose my sunglasses,

I think, what are my
sunglasses seeing right now?

- What's the cake seeing right now?

- The cake's looking
at me, can see me.

- Right.

- And thinking, what a fool.

Oh, okay, I see the clock.

- Is that cake?

- No.

Is that the cake?

That's the cake.

God, now I've got to eat some of it.

Yes, please.

I've stopped the clock.

Holy crap.

That was an excellent hidden cake.

- How did you guys feel watching that?

Because that must have
been kind of heartbreaking.

- I feel like I need to up my Ritalin.

- Yeah.

- I feel like I need
to get on Ritalin.

- But I will say that,

like I didn't find the
cake within 38 seconds.

- Sure.

- I think it was
still pretty impressive.

Nine minutes, 49 seconds.

- Okay, it was nine minutes.

- That's impressive.

- Well, there's still
one to go, isn't there?

- Yes, sir.

There's one slice left

and it's got Alice
Snedden's name all over it.

- Icing?

Does that count?

- No.

- Oh, everywhere's icing.

Ah, everything is [beep]ing icing.

- Favorite type of cake?

- Carrot.

- I feel like carrot cake
needs to stop highlighting

the fact that it has carrot in it.

Don't name yourself after
the worst thing about you.

It's like if I went around
calling myself pedophile Paul.

- Paul.

Shockingly, that's not
the worst thing about you.

Pedophilia, I can forgive.

- But what can't you?

- Hiding the cake.

So what are you doing here?

I'm masking all the shells
that I've declared cake free.

Where'd that come from?

What is it?

Has that always been there?

You got it from up there and
then when you brought the boat down

you also brought the seagull.

I'm blacking out.

Usually I say we can't get
the rights to that, but I don't

think that's a problem.

I don't think they're suing.

Oh my god, Paul.

Can I ask you a question?
Does the cake have icing on it?

Yeah, like a kind of fondant.

Like a fondant?

Yeah.

So it would look like an actual thing?

It's cake.

- Is the cake behind me?

- I can't say.

- Paul!

- Why is there a GoPro there?

- We've kind of got GoPros everywhere.

- Okay.

- We're filming this, so like,

see him, he's a
camera, camera, camera.

Why would you make a cake
for someone and then hide it?

It's not hidden.

So it's in plain sight?

Of course.

If I do this, have I
just seen the cake?

I don't know what you saw.

Did you see the cake?

Yeah.

What?

- So is it to my right?

- What will you give
me if I answer that?

- You could have my
entire fee for the show.

- It's not to the right of you,

but you do owe me $50 now.

My shirt is not cake.

- The cake's not to the right of me.

The cake is to the left of me.

It's not in there.

It's not to the right of me.

It's not straight ahead.

It's to the left.

and it's not behind the cameras,

I will kill myself.

- Stop the clock.

- It's okay.

- Firstly.

- Yeah.

- Are you okay?

- It was truly, it was
like a life low light

and a life highlight at the same time

because I did find it,
but I did cry real tears

and watching it back
now, I am similarly moved.

- So Alice found the cake in one hour,

22 minutes and 55 seconds.

- That's actually a lot shorter

than I thought it would be.

- Honestly, it felt
longer in the room.

- It looked longer.

- Okay, so what are the scores?

- So that means one point for Alice,

two points for Jack,

three points for Bree,

four points for Pax,

and five points for Jackie Van Beek.

- All right, Paul,

in the words of one of New Zealand's

greatest ever children's shows,

what now?

- Jeremy, do you ever
experience deja vu?

- No.

- Jeremy, do you ever
experience deja vu?

Here's the task.

- Oh my God.

I've traveled back in time.

Oh God.

- Hello, Alice.

- Hello, Bree.

- Hi, Paul.

- Did it not work out?

Did the cameras not record?

I'm just gonna draw, I'm
just gonna draw the thing.

I feel like we should read it.

- Well, I'm not the team
captain anymore, guys.

I've decided to take a step back,

so you guys make the decisions, okay?

- Okay, sure, that's fine.

- My friend, Alice.

- Yeah, we've made up.

- I love her.
-Oh, nice.

- You can read that.

- Wow.
-You sure?

- Yeah, go on.

- That's so nice of you, thank you.

- Mandela-esque.

- Reenact the moment the other team--

- Met for their first team task.

- Most accurate reenactment wins.

- Paul may play the third team member.

- One of your team
members must play Paul.

- You have 20 minutes.

Your time starts now.

- Do you know those guys well?

- I know Pax and Jackie.

- I know Jack from
watching him struggle at my gym.

- They said they weren't
going to show that part.

Sorry, Jack.

- Bree, please tell us,
what's Jack like at the gym?

- I see him walking past me
with the personal trainer.

- Yep.

- He does none of the heavy weights.

- Okay, Paul, let's see our teams meet

for the very first
time, for the second time.

- First up, it's Bree and Alice,

as portrayed by the other team.

- Oh, I'm Breeanna.

Is that offensive?

- Oh, g'day guys. Oh my god.
How the [beep] are you?

I'm now on the radio.

- Oh, we could all do that role.

- Yeah, so we can all nail that.

- Alice has moved to the UK.

Maybe she has picked up--

- Yeah, she's like,
"Hello, governor, hello."

- I think we should quickly audition

for all three, I'm gonna start.

Okay, so you yell out a name,

I'm just gonna work
on it and speak up.

- Okay, yell out a name.

Shaquille O'Neal!

- Quick, please, this is just a,

I thought this would be a
quick little fun thing.

- Let's say a name together.

- Yeah.
-Three, two, one.

- Shaquille O'Neal.
-Shaquille O'Neal.

- Sorry, Jackie, we won't,

we'll give you an actual
character in this show.

- I'm just trying to be helpful.

- Yeah.
-I'm just trying to help.

- Okay.
-So I say them?

- Yes, okay.

- This is Jackie Van Beek's
audition for Shaquille O'Neal.

- No.

- Huh?

- No.

- Oh, okay.

- Let's go get some things to wear

and we'll come back
down and we'll just,

yes and it, we'll just do it.

- Oh, g'day guys, g'day
Paul, how's things, yeah?

- Hello, Bree.

- Paul, how's it
going, how's it going?

Oh [beep] me, it's Sneddo.

Oh, mate!

- Hello, hello, hello.

- Hello, Alice.

Hello, hello, hello Paul.
I've just come in from London

where I make television.

So, Alice has been over in the UK.

Yeah.

How long does it take someone
to be over in the UK before they

develop a fully-fledged London accent?

Oh, she's toning it down right now.

Yeah, she's putting on a
Kiwi accent right now.

Yeah.
- Do your normal accent, go on.

"Um, hello, hello, hello.

It's-a me."

- Mario?

- Yeah, Mario.

Yeah, I'm not great at accents.

- Normally I would
critique people's performances,

but seeing as they
were playing you guys,

how would you
critique their performances?

- Zero.

- I can't lie.

I think Jackie did a very good me,

and it was an honor
and a career highlight

to have Jackie Van Beek betray me.

- And I would do it again.

- And I don't feel the same way.

- Who have we got left, Paul?

- Representing for all the Australians

and the Victorian era
East London Cockneys,

it's Bree and Alice.

- I think we cast Paul
as the part of Jack.

- I think so.

- I think you've got a Jackie energy.

- Regrettably, to follow up
with the whole Mandela thing,

I will be playing the part of Pax.

- I wouldn't say this if it
was any other contestant,

but please no makeup.

- I reckon Pax is in
first, Jackie comes in.

- And Jack.

- I'd say he's quite like, reserved.

But then if the task is to be alpha.

- Oh, yeah.

- He's gonna have to overcompensate.

- Oh, I forgot, they
all have to be alpha.

- I wonder if he'd walk in shirtless

with like a Rambo sort of tie on.

- Muscles drawn on, like a six pack.

- Well, that's not necessary with me.

- Jackie, we're gonna go
get you a beautiful costume.

- Maybe like a Cruella de Vil type.

- Fur jacket.
-That's nice, yeah.

- And Pax, I feel like would be
playing alpha by being comfortable.

Is it possible to
get a full meal here?

- Like a steak.

- Medium rare, please.

- Okay, we've got 13 and a half
minutes.

- Okay, let's go.
-Okay, great.

- Let's go.

- Hey, Paul.

- Hello, Pax.

- Thank you for preparing
the dinner I asked for.

- Bon appetit.

- Hmm.

- Whoa!

- Oh, hi, Pax.

- Hey, man, how you doing?

- Hey, Paul.

- Hmm.

- Hello, Jack.

- Oh my God, hey, Jackie.

- Hello, Jackie.

- Pax, how you doing?

- Hi, Jackie.

- Hello, Jack.

- Paul.

- My name's Jack.

- Oh, you've not been...
- She called me Paul.

You look like someone I know.

- Wow.
-Wow.

- Bree, the alpha
energy in your performance

there was palpable.

- And good opportunity to
get the girls out on TV.

You know, I've been
waiting for that moment.

I feel like I portrayed
your girls in turn to a tee.

- Identical.
-Thank you, yeah.

- I'd like to point out, I
think Paul did a great job

of representing my girls as well.

- Yeah, agreed.

- I think some people did
better impersonations than others.

- Okay.

- And so I thought
maybe I would just score

each member of the team individually.

- One point for Alice's Pax.

'Cause eating a meal,
I mean, that was...

- You should've done brown face.

Oh, come on, man.

- If I had had his
go-ahead in advance,

I would've taken the creative risk.

- I'll go two points for Pax.

- What?
-And your British accent.

- That's absolutely a travesty.

- I'll go three points for Bree,

and her performance as Jackie.

Four points for Jack.
Your Paul was good.

- Happy with that.

- And I go five for Jackie's Bree.

I thought that was a very good Bree.

- Thank you, Jeremy.

And thank you, thank you, Bree.

- That's fair.

- Paul, how's our scoreboard looking?

- Alice is in last with five points,

and in first with a
whopping 23 points,

it's Jackie Van Beek.

- Time to head up to the stage

for the final task of the show.

- Okay, Paul, who's
reading the live task?

- Jackie Van Beek.

- Display as many emotions
as you can in four seconds.

Most correct emotions
guessed by the taskmaster wins.

You will be given 16
seconds to arrange your emotions

on the rack in front of you.

You must then perform
your emotions in that order.

The taskmaster will review
the footage in slow motion.

- So I'm gonna give you 16
seconds to arrange your tiles.

- Okay.
-Are you ready?

- Yes.
-Ready.

- Oh, Christ.

- Oh, big mistake.

- Hands away, Pax.

- I'm just putting mine on neatly.

- Yep.
-Yep.

Oh, yep, okay.

- Okay, stop knocking them off, Jack.

- Yep, sorry.

- I can see what you're doing.

- Oh, shit, sorry.

- Oh my God, he's still going.

- It's just, again,
he's very uncoordinated.

- Four seconds, are you ready?
- Yep.

- I'll count to three
and then I'll start.

- Oh God, I'm so nervous!

- One, I'll count down from three.

- Oh my God, Paul!

- Three, two, one, emote.

- No more, no more.

- All right everyone, come
on down and let's judge it.

- So we're gonna now
watch the emotions.

- And I'm gonna guess them as we go.

- Correct.

- Okay, start with Alice.

Anger.

Relief.

Fear.

Sickness.

Oh, you got a bunch of 'em.

- You got everything.

- Joy.

- You've got quite a
few in there, Alice, wow.

- That last one was personal.

- So you got two.

- Two, Alice.

- Hmm.

- You don't seem very happy.

- Oh, I thought I'd be better.

- Up next, Bree.

- Excitement.

Sadness.

Oh, anger.

Relief.

Disbelief.

That's not one of the emotions.

- Wow.

- What is that?

I think the audience know.

So you did get three.

I'm happy with that.

Jack.

Oh, God.

I look ill.

Oh, pretty good.

Brilliant.

Disbelief.

No.

Sadness.

Disgust.

Oh, that went really long.

Fear.

No.

Oh my God.

That was fear.

It was surprise.

- Oh!

- It looked like fear.

- I'm worried that
you're not familiar enough

with emotions to be...

- Yeah, this is on you.

- So you got sadness and disgust.
- Okay.

- Up next, Jackie.

- An actor of some note.

- Jackie.

- This will be interesting.

- Sadness.

- Very good.

- Excitement.

Anger.

Fear.

[Jack] Surprise.
- Surprise.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry, sorry.
- Relief.

What are you locking in
there for the last one?

I'm going to go with relief.

So you got sadness, anger, and fear.

Yeah, I think I'm
useless at this game.

So, up next, Pax.

Anger.

I don't think it started yet.

Happiness.

Sadness.

Very nice, Pax.

Fear.

No, that was specifically how I felt

when Jack tried to be the leader.

Okay.

So we just give a
point for each of those?

Is that the way to
go, twos and threes?

So that means two points

for Alice and Jack and three points

for Bree, Jackie and Pax.

There we go. Good one.

So what does that mean

for the scores for episode two?

The winner of episode two with

with 26 points, Jackie van Beek.

- Here we go, congratulations, Jackie.

It's now your responsibility

to remove these five heavy things

from the studio tonight.

Off you go, go and grab them.

Congratulations.

- Grab some goon, Jackie.
- Off you go, Jackie.

- Give her that goon.

- And thank you so much for joining us

for another episode of Taskmaster.

Tonight, we've learnt
you're either born an alpha

or you've bribed someone with Lego.

And there's nothing more devastating

than looking for cake.

But most importantly,

we've learned that the winner of
episode two is Jackie Van Beek.

Welcome to Taskmaster.
- Yeah!

A show featuring five of New
Zealand's best and brightest minds.

So long as you don't count
proper, smart people like doctors.

That's bullshit!

There's highs!

And there's low lows!

Tough crack up, hey?
It's, how crack up.