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1
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20th Century Boy
by T.Rex
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♪ Yeah
3
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,399
♪ Friends say it's fine
4
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,119
♪ Friends say it's good
5
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:27,519
♪ Everybody says it's just like
rock and roll... ♪
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TYRES SQUEAL
7
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SHE GASPS
8
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Whoops!
9
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♪ I move like a cat
Charge like a ram
10
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,919
♪ Sting like a bee
11
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:48,679
♪ Babe, I wanna be your man
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00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,280
♪ Hey
13
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:56,640
♪ Well, it's plain to see
You were meant for me, yeah... ♪
14
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- Oh, it's looking good, Dave.
- No worries.
15
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,480
CHURCH BELL RINGS
16
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:36,120
{\an8}Young Hearts Run Free
by Candi Staton
17
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,359
♪ What's the sense in sharing
18
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,519
♪ This one and only life
19
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,919
♪ Ending up just another
lost and lonely wife. ♪
20
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,519
Oh, this is just perfect, isn't it?
21
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,439
You know when the estate agent
showed me around, she said,
22
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,879
"I'm so sorry, you're going to have
to gut the place.
23
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,879
"It's not been touched
since the '70s.
24
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,199
I said, "Are you kidding, love?
It's perfect."
25
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,239
It is like a time capsule.
26
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,999
Just got time to get me
lucky frame up before we open.
27
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MUSIC CONTINUES ON RADIO
28
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:12,640
What is that?
29
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,039
I ran away to London
when I was a teenager.
30
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:21,959
Got into hairdressing, and I was
working all the high-end salons.
31
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,759
All the top folk were coming in.
32
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:27,519
I knew 'em all and they knew me.
It were lovely.
33
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,079
And when they'd had a whizzer
and I was sweeping up after,
34
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:31,880
I'd preserve a lock.
35
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,280
Rod Stewart.
36
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,239
David Cassidy, look.
37
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:41,719
George Best.
So black, it's almost deep blue.
38
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,119
Noddy Holder.
39
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:44,759
Blondie.
40
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,719
It's The Goodies.
41
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:48,479
Kate Bush.
42
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:49,960
Parkinson himself.
43
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,439
Ah, Donna Summer.
44
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,279
That is a clip of Bjorn's beard
from ABBA.
45
00:02:56,280 --> 00:03:00,599
And my prize -
a snip of dear David.
46
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,239
Bowie.
47
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:03,679
From his Ziggy days.
48
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:07,439
Sorry, it's just, it is
eight tenths off the perpendicular
49
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,479
and a centimetre
off the vertical, so...
50
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,040
- ...may I?
- Yeah.
51
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,719
So exciting.
52
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,039
I've been researching the '70s
since I got the job.
53
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,119
I like to be thorough.
54
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,999
I noticed that at your interview.
55
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:29,279
Is that why I got the job?
Oh, hey, I do like this music.
56
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,839
That is why
you got the job.
57
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,520
- Go on, give us a twirl.
- Oh...!
58
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,720
Oh, no!
59
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,279
Be gone!
60
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,279
Go on.
61
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,759
Be... gone!
62
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,080
Scoot!
63
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,280
Dreadful woman.
64
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,520
HE SIGHS
65
00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,400
Watch out!
66
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,399
Yeah, it's mainly junk.
67
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,479
I'm gutting the place, yeah.
68
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,999
Having a right good clear out,
and there's one or two things
69
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,959
you might want to pass your
experienced eye over.
70
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,919
-
- Mr Terry,
I've got a hair appointment.
71
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,599
- What?
- A hair appointment!
72
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,239
Shush!
73
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:19,799
Sorry, Race.
74
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,359
Well, to be honest, Terrance,
75
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,599
I don't envisage there being much
for me.
76
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:27,239
And to be frank, I don't fancy
a trip out for nowt.
77
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,559
Hey! Don't be too hasty,
there's a few choice things.
78
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,039
'Ere, let me look.
79
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,559
Nice candle stick,
80
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,999
condiment holder,
81
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,559
antique cup and saucer.
82
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,119
One second, pray.
83
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,559
Er, please describe.
84
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,239
Well, it's...
85
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,840
Wait there, let me take a photo.
86
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,520
Hang on. Let me get some light.
87
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,960
Two seconds, Race.
88
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,719
MESSAGE WHOOSHES
89
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,439
MESSAGE ALERT PINGS
90
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,399
Did you get the photo?
91
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,639
Yes, yes, I got it all right.
92
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:18,720
I'm coming over.
93
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,199
Keep it safe.
94
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,279
CALL DISCONNECTS
95
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,479
Result!
96
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,199
HE HUMS TO HIMSELF
97
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:31,079
Mr Terry, we agreed that
if I worked late last night,
98
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,999
I could have a few hours off today.
99
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,799
- I'm already late -
and if I miss that bus...
- Yes! Yes.
100
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,279
Go, then, toddle on.
101
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:41,879
You did say you'd try and sort
something out for the charity shop.
102
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,639
I've already donated
my Frank's stuff after he...
103
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,159
Oh, yes, yes.
104
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,319
Oh, just take that box of crap.
105
00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:51,359
It's going in the skip anyway.
Move it!
106
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,360
And get back pronto!
107
00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,200
Blooming heck, what a rush.
108
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,000
CHURCH BELL CHIMES
109
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,039
DOORBELL RINGS
110
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,799
Sorry I'm so late.
111
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,879
Sorry. So sorry.
112
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,519
- Can I leave this here?
- 'Course you can.
113
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,959
I've got to get it down
the charity shop.
114
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:25,599
Then after that, straight on the bus
and back to work.
115
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,199
Sorry.
116
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,719
That painting's a bit
circa 1970s, innit?
117
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:34,039
Oh, have it if you like.
It was destined for the skip.
118
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,999
Just don't ask me
which way up it goes.
119
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,199
She's struggling for lolly,
poor love.
120
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,839
Ooh!
25% off.
121
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:45,519
Welcome is that.
122
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,639
- How did you know?
- I'm a hairdresser.
Read the cut, kid.
123
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:52,159
- What?
- She's Mutt and Jeff
in her left ear as well.
124
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:53,839
You're our first-ever customer.
125
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:56,799
- Pardon, love?
- You're our first-ever customer.
126
00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,959
Oh, sorry, love, I'm bit hard of
hearing in this blinking side.
127
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,519
- Sorry.
- She has the hair always
pushed back over the left ear.
128
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,760
You can see the permanent kink.
129
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,479
I'm Val, by the way.
130
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,519
Valerie Stromboli, isn't it?
131
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:15,519
It is, love. There hangs a tale.
132
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,879
I remember me first cut here
as a girl.
133
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,799
Me mother brought me.
134
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,799
It's exactly the same.
135
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,599
In fact, I think that very track
was playing.
136
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,639
- Oh, it's lovely, isn't it?
- Clary's a convert!
137
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,760
So, please take a seat
in Sir Swivel.
138
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,719
SHE GASPS
Are you all right?
139
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,560
I never look in a mirror for
more than a second or two lately.
140
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,120
Look at the sorry, sorry state
of me.
141
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,879
Are you sure you're all right?
142
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,480
Can I get you a tea? Or a coffee?
143
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,960
Ever since my Frank went...
144
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,399
...I've let meself go.
145
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,479
SHE SOBS
Hey, you're with us now.
146
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,199
Leave yourself in my hands.
147
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,600
DOORBELL TINKLES
148
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,719
I'm here for my appointment.
149
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,559
Sorry, at... At what time was it?
150
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,559
- Now.
- Now.
151
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,399
I've got nothing in my book,
I'm afraid.
152
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,959
Every third month,
I have it on this time on this date.
153
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,519
I'm sorry, the last owner's
sold up, love.
154
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,040
- But it's no problem if you can wait.
- No!
155
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,879
Oh, dear!
156
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,439
Don't give her any mind.
That's Miss Pru.
157
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,519
No need to explain.
158
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,199
Those with straight fringes that go
thataway are always like that.
159
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,519
- What do you mean?
- They've no patience.
160
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,279
She moves around the town like that.
161
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,199
That's bob on. They call her
Miss Pru Never Queue.
162
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,239
Yeah, she lives alone,
163
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,599
she was in the teaching profession,
probably,
164
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,199
and she is not popular with anyone.
165
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,079
Yes! How did you know?
166
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,639
Oh, she's like
the Hairdressing Holmes.
167
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,240
Elementary, my dear Clary.
168
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,679
Got the whole blinking lot there,
all right,
169
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:11,439
except she's no time for anyone
except her titchy dog.
170
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,759
And even she can't stand her!
171
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,479
Spinster of the parish?
172
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:16,679
Oh, not quite.
173
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:19,679
I could tell you a few things
about old Pru
174
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:23,239
and a certain gentleman
antique dealer.
175
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,560
Ooh! Hanky panky?
176
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,719
Well, let's just say
177
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,680
furtive conversations
in darkened corners.
178
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,399
Ooh, I'm sorry.
179
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,919
I'm so sorry.
180
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:43,159
I can't settle until I've got
that box to the charity shop
181
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,919
and back to work.
182
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:48,719
- Don't you worry about that,
I'll nip it up in me break.
- Ooh!
183
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:49,760
Thanks.
184
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,160
She's not moving!
185
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,199
Ooh! She's scary, her.
186
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,320
Let me get my maddy baddy face on.
187
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,919
Not yet!
188
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,480
It's on the sign!
189
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:23,719
Never fails.
190
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,199
SHE CHUCKLES
191
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,639
Oh, there's another one.
192
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:27,840
Oh!
193
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,040
Not...
194
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,560
Oh, my God! It's her, it's her!
195
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,919
It's you, the new hairdresser
in town.
196
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,199
You're not supposed to be in
cos of the sale.
197
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,679
- Oh.
- But sod it sideways.
Come on in. Come in!
198
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:46,159
- I was just bringing a box...
- Put the box down there.
199
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,679
- Ta, dove.
- Thanks.
And would you mind terribly...
200
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,079
- Oh, what's these leaflets?
- Well, you know.
201
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:56,079
Well, welcome
to the Harrods of hand-me-downs,
202
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,639
as it's known!
HE LAUGHS
203
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,879
Here, let's get
these product placed.
204
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,519
Ooh! 25% off.
205
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:05,959
- Get this, Dobbie.
- Oh, I'll have some of that.
206
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,439
THEY ALL LAUGH
207
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,719
What brought you here, dear?
208
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:13,079
Oh, a place of my own, somewhere
quiet, doing what I love best.
209
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,239
- What about you?
- Same. Samesies.
210
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,919
I danced all over -
211
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,839
cabarets, casinos, cruises -
212
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,599
till me tendons screamed out
for mercy.
213
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:26,079
And I find me calling here,
among the cast-offs.
214
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,519
- Aw!
- Don't encourage him.
215
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:32,560
He'll be giving his story via means
of interpretive dance in a minute.
216
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:35,559
Where do you come from?
217
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:37,359
Worked in London most of my career.
218
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,959
Oh! I got a taste of t'smoke an all.
219
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,639
- A drag review off Piccadilly.
- Oh!
220
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,159
♪ I'm wearing
221
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,719
♪ Second hand hats
222
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,559
♪ Second hand clothes
223
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:55,079
# Never had
a single thing that's new. ♪
224
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:56,999
We had Danny La Rue
in our shop once.
225
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,199
Don't tell me, was you working
at Sassoon's,
226
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,839
and Leonard of Mayfair,
all that lot?
227
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,599
Yep.
228
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,319
Be still, my beating heart.
229
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,960
That must have been marvellous.
230
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,759
Here you are, meet the mob.
231
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,439
- Lonnie.
- Lily.
232
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:17,079
And on ironing and pricing
and everything else, we have...
233
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,519
Dobbie!
THEY LAUGH
234
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,079
Our Gran Friday. She does the lot.
235
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:25,559
Oh, and on sorting
and sullen grunts,
236
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,679
we have The Bad Lads in the back.
237
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,919
-
- Community service.
- Right, right, right, right.
238
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:30,960
Lads!
239
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,839
-
- 'Ey up.
240
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:39,039
They won't be requiring your
25% off, as you may have noticed.
241
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,839
Good thing you've come
when you've come.
242
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,679
We're about to lower the drawbridge.
243
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,199
- God save us.
- Mmm!
244
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,319
Hang on to everything
that's not nailed down.
245
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:49,319
- Dobbie's bingo dobber went
last time, didn't it, love?
- Yeah.
246
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,479
Here, you'll be losing this one
an' all.
247
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,280
Initialled an' all.
248
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:55,919
Me lucky dobber.
249
00:12:55,920 --> 00:13:01,079
Dobbie's bingo barmy. Goes nowhere
without her dobber, do you, dovelet?
250
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,239
Oh! Ha-ha!
251
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,999
Cheeky!
252
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,079
I had a lipstick that hue in '72.
253
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,799
THEY LAUGH
254
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,879
God love us, what a mess!
255
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,439
Dear, oh, dear.
256
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:15,879
Terrance!
257
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,639
All right, Race? Hey? Yeah?
258
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:22,479
All right, yes. Just brushing off
the dust and the past.
259
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,199
Too many memories, you see.
260
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,119
I recall this establishment
in its heyday.
261
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,679
I bet you do!
262
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,879
The last owner just took off.
263
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,359
I got it as a job lot.
264
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:35,359
- Oh, yeah?
- So much junk.
265
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:36,879
Hey, let me show you that teacup.
266
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,400
Oh, yes, yes, yes!
267
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,719
Oh!
268
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,399
Oh, wait.
269
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,719
Daft mare's taken the wrong box.
270
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:52,280
Right, before we go any further,
this was definitely it?
271
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,079
- 'Course it bloody were!
- Right, sorry, where is it?
272
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,799
The charity shop.
273
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:01,479
You do realise it was worth 35
at least?
274
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:02,759
Oh, great!
275
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,679
That's 35 quid down the Swanee.
276
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:05,999
No.
277
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,800
35,000!
278
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,200
I'm sorry I'm late.
279
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:15,920
Do you like me hair?
280
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,120
What?
281
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:22,960
Here!
282
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,159
- What a haul.
- I know.
283
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,879
It was like Raiders of the Lost Ark,
though I did get out by a whisker.
284
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,199
- What?
- The charge of
the four-for-two tsunami.
285
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,679
Hey, and guess who was at the head
of it, elbowing like a good 'un?
286
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,239
- Who?
- Miss Pru.
287
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,439
She glared at me with,
"Get out of my way or die!"
288
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:41,999
And the corners on that trolley...
289
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,479
Ow!
290
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,999
Like the daggers
on Boudicca's chariot wheel.
291
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,119
Come on, Val,
step out for goodness' sake.
292
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,080
- I'm so sorry!
- Hurry up!
- Hop in the back.
293
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:52,800
GEARS GRIND
294
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,439
OK. Right hand, red.
295
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,199
DOORBELL TINKLES
296
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,799
Oh, Val, your beautiful barnet.
297
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,199
The box! Have you still got
that box?
298
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,679
What?!
299
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,360
LILY AND CLARY SHRIEK
300
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,439
- Where's the teacup!
- Sorry?
301
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,799
- The teacup, man!
- Sorry, what?
302
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,559
It was in the box I brought.
303
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,319
Oh, that box.
It's still by the door.
304
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:25,680
- Shift!
- Ooh!
305
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,119
Shift!
306
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,479
Nothing here.
307
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:31,679
It must have been sold, then.
308
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,719
Didn't see it go, no.
309
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,159
I never miss a sale or a receipt.
310
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:39,159
Whatever the siege,
no teacup passed by me.
311
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,039
Listen here, you,
I need that teacup back.
312
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,639
And listen here, foghorn,
no teacup was sold.
313
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,279
- You saying it's been nicked?
- Must have been.
314
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,519
I want this place turning over,
you hear me?!
315
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,079
I want my teacup back!
316
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,239
It's been turned over.
Everything's gone.
317
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,159
There's been tons of people
through this place.
318
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,719
It could be anywhere.
319
00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,039
- I want it!
- Hey. Hey!
320
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,119
Calm down. Calm down, old boy.
321
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,759
Someone must have
seen something, right?
322
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,839
I'm letting you know,
I will get that cup and saucer back
323
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,799
if it kills me
or I have to kill someone!
324
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:14,000
And you're sacked!
VALERIE SOBS
325
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:19,119
Just to explain his rather
over-temperate reaction.
326
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,919
This is a piece dating from
the 18th century.
327
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,079
Oh, swipe me sideways!
328
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,120
I mean, it is what you might call
most collectable.
329
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:29,919
Here, see.
330
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,560
Oh, that's beautiful.
331
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,519
Exquisite.
332
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,919
Oh, I like that. It's lovely.
333
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:40,039
And it is worth £35,000.
334
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,559
EVERYONE GASPS
335
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:46,320
But cup must come with saucer.
336
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,440
Only the best for you.
337
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,839
It was crazy.
338
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,999
And Lonnie turned the whole shop
over again once they'd gone
339
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,840
and it wasn't there.
CAR HORN BLARES
340
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:06,160
Oh!
341
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,479
The van just missed her.
342
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,119
It was going hell for leather.
343
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:19,239
Oh! She's terrified, poor thing.
344
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,559
Let's have a look
at the identification.
345
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,680
Miss Prudence Snook.
346
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,400
114, Chapel Street.
347
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,079
I reckon that's that Miss Pru
that came in here.
348
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:33,680
- They did say she had a dog.
- Ooh.
- Poor baby.
349
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:36,720
We better get her back.
350
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:47,279
It's OK.
351
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,599
Oh!
352
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,719
- Oh, no!
- Guess it must be that one.
- It must be that one.
353
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,640
LILY LAUGHS
354
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:16,759
Lily!
355
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,439
We can't just...
356
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,359
Miss Pru!
357
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,800
- We found your dog.
- Lily!
358
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,880
We can't just...
359
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:29,680
Miss Pru?
360
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,240
- Clary.
- Yeah?
361
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,200
DOG WHIMPERS
362
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:54,999
That's what I've heard anyway.
363
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,439
Take care.
364
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,360
And if you hear anything else,
you know...
365
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,839
Miss Pru was known to the police.
366
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,719
- She was diagnosed as a kleptomaniac.
- Blimey!
367
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,479
We were watching her but assured
by her doctor that she was cured.
368
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,839
Obviously not.
369
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,399
I mean, it looks like a simple and
sad accident waiting to happen.
370
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,919
There's way too much stuff here,
371
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,919
she was climbing the ladder
and fell.
372
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,959
- I'm sorry, you can't come in here.
- Oh, sorry.
373
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,919
What's going on?
Just on me way back from bingo,
374
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,679
saw the police car and that.
375
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,439
I'll have to ask you to leave,
thank you.
376
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,079
There's been an accident.
377
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,479
It's Miss Pru. She's dead.
378
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,359
WOMAN GASPS
379
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:35,119
Terrible accident,
according to the undertakers.
380
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:37,279
Crushed to death by her own spoils.
381
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:40,159
Now, please, ladies,
I really need everyone...
382
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,759
She was a kleptomaniac, it seems.
383
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,039
Eh?
384
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,879
Isn't that like a thief
who's not a thief?
385
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,239
Kleptomania is the inability
to resist the urge to steal items,
386
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,479
usually for reasons other than
personal use or financial gain.
387
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,760
She got stuff from all over
the village, by the looks of things.
388
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,200
- Crushed, you say?
- Mmm...
389
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,920
Right there.
390
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,360
God, what a way to go.
391
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,439
Seen quite a few things
from the charity shop.
392
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,879
Right, please, madam,
both of you will have to leave now.
393
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,159
I recognise that sun dial.
That's from the park.
394
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,679
Yes, yes, out you go, please.
395
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,719
Nothing too large or too small,
it seems.
396
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,959
Oh, look, there.
397
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,119
Those curling tongs!
They're ours, aren't they?
398
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:24,759
Yes, they are. She must have taken
them when she came in the shop.
399
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,159
God, she was quick and crafty,
all right.
400
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,759
- Blimey!
- Best not to touch anything yet.
401
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,720
Oh, right. Yeah.
402
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,960
CLATTERING, SMASHING
403
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,799
LOUD SNEEZE
404
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,759
I'm allergic to dogs.
405
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,440
That's me gone.
406
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:52,759
Where's...?
407
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,679
News Flash?
That's what we call Wincey.
408
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:59,159
She'll be off now. It'll be
all over the village in a trice.
409
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,159
I don't know
if this is the right time,
410
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,279
but can you book me in
for 10.00 tomorrow?
411
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,079
- You got that, Clary?
- Yeah, I will do.
412
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,159
Bye, all. So, so sad.
413
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,559
LOUD SNEEZE
414
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:12,999
Lily, she's all on her own.
415
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,639
What's going to happen to her now?
416
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,199
- She'll be put in a pound over night.
- Oh, the poor little thing.
417
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,639
Clary, get her food and some tins.
We'll take her overnight.
418
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,560
Oh, I'm not sure the protocol...
419
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,199
Yeah... Yeah...
420
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,400
I'll just...
I'll just make a note of it.
421
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,560
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
422
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:40,439
There might be more to this
than meets the eye?
423
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,839
Can't think on an empty stomach.
424
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,920
Let's settle the dog
and then I'll treat you to a meal.
425
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,839
-
- What I'm hearing is that she
was one of those klepto-thingys...
426
00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:59,679
Not actually eaten here before.
427
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:01,399
- Cheers, mate.
- Hail!
- Hail!
428
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,719
- Hail.
- Now I come to think of it,
429
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,679
I were always a box of wooden forks
down when she'd been by.
430
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,399
Yeah, it's like everything
she'd stolen just turned on her.
431
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:14,039
- Pru.
- Does anyone know any more?
No. Well, listen to this.
432
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,199
Apparently, she stormed out
of the charity shop earlier.
433
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,720
She stormed in and out of here.
434
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,479
Dobbie from charity shop were in
buying everyone a chippy tea
435
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,559
to cheer 'em up. I mean,
it's been chaos down there today.
436
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,039
Oh, aye, yeah - the incident
with That Terry's tea cup. Yeah.
437
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,079
Hey, hey, listen, go on about Pru,
438
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,759
because this might have been
her last sighting.
439
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,479
Dobbie saw Pru sidling
into the front of the queue,
440
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,600
but Dobbie said something to her.
441
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:43,360
- What was it?
- "I saw you,"
I think she said.
442
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,559
She didn't half leg it.
443
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,400
She stormed out of our shop too.
444
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,199
You're her, aren't you?
445
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,039
You're the new hairdresser,
aren't you?
446
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,839
-
- Ooh!
- Yeah. Who's asking?
447
00:22:55,840 --> 00:23:00,319
- It is her, yeah. She's from London.
- Do you do walk-ins?
448
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,400
Everyone welcome.
449
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,680
- Do you mind?
- 25% off!
450
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,599
Here you go, Kev.
451
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,240
Get serving, lad.
452
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,479
That's another one mad for you.
453
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,439
You what?
454
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,000
Look at the size of your chips
compared to mine!
455
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:24,879
And... that young copper
from before, too.
456
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,039
Constable "Uh-huh".
457
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,120
Smitten.
458
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,240
You honestly don't know, do you?
459
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:35,960
Mmm.
460
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,320
These are the best chips in the
known world, though, aren't they?
461
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,200
- So what you thinking, Clary?
- Hmm?
462
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,800
The trajectory looked off to me.
463
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:52,919
- What do you mean?
- The body.
464
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,360
How it had... fallen.
465
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,920
I used to cut
for the head of CID.
466
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:08,880
And he said,
"Every corpse tells a story."
467
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,399
It didn't look right
for a fall from a height.
468
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,039
The intersections of points
and plane relating to the body's
469
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,759
postulate configurations,
it did not, to me,
470
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,679
indicate a fall from a height.
471
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,400
- Loose ends.
- Loose ends.
472
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,720
- Lily?
- Hmm.
473
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,639
Have you solved crimes before?
474
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,279
LILY CHUCKLES
475
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,840
Let's just say... I used to help
sort things out sometimes.
476
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,040
Hairdressers.
477
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,880
- Charity shop.
- Mmm.
478
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,200
- Chippy.
- Uh-huh.
479
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:50,719
Then... brown bread.
480
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,959
Pru Never Queue,
and everybody knows that.
481
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:59,519
So what was it
that sent her running off like that?
482
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:00,640
Loose ends.
483
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,080
Lopsided. Got to clip it up neat.
484
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,440
Who wanted her...
485
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:08,520
...dead?
486
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:11,520
Half the blinkin' village, it seems.
487
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:14,640
Clary...
488
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,559
...it's murder.
489
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,000
BELL TOLLS
490
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:23,880
So...
491
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:26,639
...what are we after?
492
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,879
Oh, I don't know.
493
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,839
Just a tidy up.
494
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,079
I always have the same.
495
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,759
Well, I think we can improve
on that, don't you, Clary?
496
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,320
- Aye.
- Ooh!
497
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:45,039
So, any more news on Miss Pru?
498
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,479
Only that the police think
it was an accident.
499
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,199
Aye, waiting to happen,
by the looks of things.
500
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,999
Still, what a way to go, hey?
501
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,359
You must have been
one of the last people to see her?
502
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:57,919
Aye, I suppose I was.
503
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,399
Shot out of that chippy door
like lightning.
504
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,479
What on earth did you say to her?
505
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,239
Oh, I don't know, really.
506
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,560
Just letting her know
I'd seen her pushing in.
507
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,559
Any news on that cup and saucer,
Dobbie?
508
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,199
No, not hide nor hair.
509
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,199
Where was everyone in the shop?
510
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,559
Well, Lonnie and me was on the till,
511
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,479
but I was mainly in the back room
with the Bad Lads,
512
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:21,360
sorting like billy-oh.
513
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:25,199
They're such good lads those too,
you know.
514
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:26,800
Just got off to a bad start.
515
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,039
I had a neighbour like that once -
Bess.
516
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,919
- Been inside but a diamond.
- Yeah?
517
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:38,239
I'd come home and I'd find her
siting in my front room
518
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:42,159
slurping tea and watching Countdown!
519
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:43,799
She could get in anywhere!
520
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,439
She showed me once too,
when I locked meself out.
521
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:48,799
Oh, yeah?
522
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,959
- Easier than you'd think.
It was like slicing cake.
- Right.
523
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,399
You got any idea
what's happened to them, Dobbie?
524
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:55,480
Well...
525
00:26:56,480 --> 00:27:02,319
...biggest mistake, dear, was putting
the box unpacked near the door.
526
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,959
Bess always said,
"Thieves grab what's at hand.
527
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,440
"Put stuff well away."
528
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:12,879
So I checked that painting out
529
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,759
and nobody's heard of the artist,
Dranur, anywhere.
530
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,639
It's totally worthless.
531
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:20,959
So, what happened
to this cup and saucer?
532
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,119
We know it made it
to the charity shop, you,
533
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:26,039
- you dropped it off and
you placed it down by the door.
- Mmm.
534
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,199
An inside job?
535
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,719
So, we have Dobbie and Lonnie.
536
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:30,919
Unlikely.
537
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,959
Well, Dobbie, who claims
she was in the back the whole time,
538
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,959
- which seems plausible.
- True.
539
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,039
So the Bad Lads?
I mean, they have records,
540
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,320
and I don't mean K-tel's
greatest hits.
541
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,119
What about Miss Pru?
542
00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:44,439
LILY GASPS
543
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:45,879
She's a kleptomaniac.
544
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,359
And don't forget That Terry.
545
00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:51,119
Yes! He's a ruthless and determined
little beggar by all accounts.
546
00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:56,799
What if Miss Pru took it
and Terry found out?
547
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,919
He could have gone up to hers
to get it back.
548
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,239
And then there's Race Runard,
the antiques dealer.
549
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:05,439
Yes. Now, Val hinted that he and Pru
knew each other in some way.
550
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:10,720
What if his interest in the tea cup
and in Pru somehow smashed together?
551
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:17,039
Oh, dog, if only you could tell us
what happened to Miss Pru.
552
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,199
At the moment, it's only us
that think it could be murder.
553
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,000
So, with all that in mind...
554
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,280
...where's me next loose end
coming from?
555
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,440
Wait! That name.
556
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,999
Look at in the mirror backwards.
557
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,599
The artist's signature.
558
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,079
Yes! That there.
559
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,160
Dranur becomes...
560
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:43,719
Runard.
561
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:48,359
- Mmm.
- Yes, so lamentable
about the teacup and saucer.
562
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:52,359
I even made a space for it
in the cabinet over there, you see.
563
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:56,519
I don't suppose
we will ever see it again.
564
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,759
By the way, that is me
565
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:03,960
with the Honourable Teacup Society
of Japan.
566
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:09,599
Do you think anyone who was around
knows of its whereabouts?
567
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:10,640
Like whom?
568
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,400
BOTH CHUCKLE
569
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:22,319
I wonder if I might call on you
to appraise an item for me?
570
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,560
Well, of course, indeed you may.
571
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:27,360
Would you know...
572
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,000
- ...if this is worth anything?
- No.
573
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:37,439
No, that's not my field,
I'm afraid, no.
574
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,279
Strange.
575
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,799
Cos I'm a hairdresser, I could read
War and Peace quicker in the mirror
576
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:44,359
than I could the right way round.
577
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,199
And if you look
at the artist's signature there,
578
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,960
if you read that in a mirror...
579
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,639
...it says Runard.
580
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:57,680
Yes.
581
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,639
So, what are you going to do?
582
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:03,119
Oh...
583
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,479
I mean, if it's out, it's out.
584
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,759
Truth be told, I'm glad.
585
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:09,999
You see, it was a joke.
586
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,879
It's always been my weakness,
I'm afraid.
587
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,800
I've always been
the practical joker.
588
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,920
The pricker of pomposity.
589
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,680
- Just couldn't help it.
- So...
590
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,319
...how did the painting end up
in the hotel?
591
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:30,559
Ah, the owner of the hotel,
a veritable pontificating prig,
592
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:35,439
he reckoned himself to be
a connoisseur of modern art.
593
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:39,079
So, I, I hatched a ruse, you see.
594
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,919
I created paintings with a...
595
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,399
...with a toothbrush
and a kid's paint palette.
596
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,519
I invented an artist.
597
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,759
And, yes, yes, I did give him
a clue, to be fair.
598
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:52,279
I did give him that signature
599
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,959
and then I charged him a shed load
of wonga.
600
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:57,360
Oh, I see.
601
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,119
Well, I mean,
I was going to return it,
602
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:02,960
once his humiliation was complete.
603
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:06,719
- What happened?
- It backfired.
604
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:10,400
That ferreting Miss Pru
discovered that they were fake.
605
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,959
And she told him.
And what did he do?
606
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:17,679
Well, he did not see the funny side.
607
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,199
No, in fact, he went completely mad.
608
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,119
I had to return the money twice over
609
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,359
in order to keep him
from the police.
610
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,479
Because even though I'd made good,
611
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:31,839
in my game, any whiff of fakery
could have ruined me.
612
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:33,159
Mmm.
613
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,839
And Miss Pru?
614
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:35,999
Ah.
615
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:39,119
Well, she blackmailed me,
stalked me, fell for me!
616
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,439
I'm not quite sure
which of those was worse.
617
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,119
So I hated her, yes, I did.
618
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,760
And I must admit I looked to my
beloved blunderbuss more than once.
619
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:51,919
Joke!
620
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,040
Yes. See, there I go again.
621
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,719
So, yes, a sad end, ultimately,
622
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:03,759
but being vanquished by her own swag
623
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,559
does have a sort of poetic justice,
doesn't it?
624
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:10,080
And it's blinking handy.
625
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:16,039
So, this cup and
saucer, turns out it's worth about
626
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:17,519
35 grand.
627
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,759
So we think that
there's a very good reason
628
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,679
why a kleptomaniac such as Miss Pru
629
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,760
might have come to ill
for taking it.
630
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:32,080
Well, I find it all a bit far
fetched, girls, I'm sorry to say.
631
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,400
Pru stole it and then
somebody murdered her for it?
632
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,519
Our investigations point to
nothing of that nature.
633
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:41,200
It was clearly an accident.
634
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:52,080
'Ey, Lil, what keeps you
so young-looking?
635
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,999
Oh! What you doing?
636
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,559
The first exercise
in the ancient and secret
637
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,639
Five Tibetans.
638
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,999
Oh? What you on about?
639
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,399
Bit mystical.
640
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,079
Once upon a time,
many, many years ago,
641
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,399
I gave a mammoth strim
to a hairy old Shaman-type,
642
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,119
claimed to be 80.
Honestly, looked 45 or less.
643
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,359
- Never?
- He was so pleased,
he gave me a tip.
644
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:23,479
"Do this every day." And he passed
me a tatty dog-eared booklet -
645
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,359
- The Fountain of Youth.
- Oh!
646
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,919
So the ancient secret
to the fountain of youth
647
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,639
is spinning round and round?
648
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,159
And you do that
every Saturday night.
649
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,599
Oh, good God! You're going to
live forever.
650
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,319
Hey, watch it, I might.
651
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,719
I touch me toes twice a week
and I bomb around town most days,
652
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,439
and when I can afford it,
I sup an eggnog.
653
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,039
Yes, youth. A core tenant
of maintaining it
654
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,879
is a strong social circle
and a positive mindset.
655
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,759
Well, there you go,
that's hairdressing.
656
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:53,919
Do summat. Save me.
657
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:57,119
Hey, you're going to be
inundated now.
658
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,679
Inundated.
659
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:03,319
Yeah, it's all over the town how you
took 25 years off Val with that cut.
660
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:04,719
Dobbie, too.
661
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:06,639
- Yeah!
- It is all over town.
662
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:08,479
Wonder how that is?
663
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,319
Mmm, well, they say good news
travels fast.
664
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:12,919
Yeah, it does.
665
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:17,359
Good and bad news with you -
the Pony Express.
666
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,719
I don't know
what you're insinuating,
667
00:34:19,720 --> 00:34:21,199
I really don't.
668
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,199
Well, whatever it is,
we're grateful.
669
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,039
THEY SING ALONG TO RECORD
670
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,279
♪ La, la, la, la, la
671
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:30,879
♪ Doo, do, do, do, do-oo
672
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:34,559
♪ Arrrrghhh! ♪
673
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:35,600
Hey!
674
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,039
You haven't got any Country,
have you?
675
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,399
- What?
- Country and Western.
676
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:45,799
Here she goes. Every second Friday,
she's down the Rose and Crown,
677
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:49,519
plastered, singing
Harper Valley PTA.
678
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,199
Will you shut it, Shirl? I meant
'70s Country and Western.
679
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:54,919
Dolly, Willie, Kenny, Tammy?
680
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,519
Oo! You're talking
my very language there. Hey!
681
00:34:57,520 --> 00:34:59,199
Shall we get you up.
682
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,919
Hey, Lil, this
cup and saucer business,
683
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:04,039
what's it like? Have you seen it?
684
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,039
I've seen a picture.
685
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:11,039
Yeah, so, well, the saucer,
delicate, goldy.
686
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,399
Yeah, it's got all this
gorgeous gold around the rim.
687
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,160
Like that there?
688
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:20,599
It is the very one.
689
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,679
Oh, my God!
690
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,559
How could we not see that?!
691
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:26,999
God o' mercy!
692
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,319
What next?
693
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,080
- They need bringing together.
- The cup and the saucer.
694
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:39,879
Oh, it'll be all over town
in a millisecond.
695
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,039
Wincey, she can't wait.
696
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,960
She's like a town crier
on roller blades.
697
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,160
DISTORTED SPEECH ON PHONE
698
00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:56,279
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
699
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,719
The cup and saucer,
she could have been
700
00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:01,319
killed for them.
701
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,959
All right, listen,
I'll pop by tomorrow, all right.
702
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,119
Will Clary be about, by any chance?
703
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,439
POLICE RADIO BEEPS
Oh, look, I'll have to go.
704
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:09,800
I'll have to go.
705
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:12,999
He'll be round first thing.
706
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:16,039
So... Pru had them all along.
707
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,760
Someone would stop at nothing.
708
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:22,559
Hey, I'm getting worried for you
all on your own.
709
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,479
Oh, come now.
710
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:25,519
Why?
711
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:27,759
35,000 reasons.
712
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,559
Oh, I am. I'm scared for you
all alone.
713
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:32,719
Well, who knows
who Wincey's told by now
714
00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:35,040
or what the value's
been exaggerated to.
715
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:37,999
I'm going to call Adam back.
716
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,039
He'll be round first thing
in the morning,
717
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:41,479
and I've stashed the saucer safe.
718
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,079
Well, then I'm staying with you.
719
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,599
No, you are not.
Away with your bother.
720
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,359
Hey, I've seen David Carradine
in all the Kung Foos.
721
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:49,959
- I'd really rather stay.
- No.
722
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,399
- Yes.
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
723
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:52,959
- Yes.
- No. Away with you!
724
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,999
- I just think...
- You're going to miss the last bus.
725
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,439
Shoo! Or I'll give you a bowl cut!
726
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,239
I will.
727
00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:01,120
You know I'm not lying. Out you go.
728
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,840
No, no, no, no! Excuse me!
729
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:19,920
Oh!
730
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:29,840
Can I give you a lift?
731
00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:02,480
RUSTLING
732
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,040
BANGING
733
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:26,240
Oh!
734
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,400
DOG BARKS
735
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,679
BANGING ON DOOR
736
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:49,880
CLATTER
737
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,759
- You all right?
- Yes. That way.
738
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:55,959
Oh, Lily, I was too worried
about you.
739
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,719
- I had to get him to call in now.
- I'm all right. I'm all right.
740
00:38:58,720 --> 00:39:00,440
Hey, come on.
741
00:39:10,720 --> 00:39:12,800
LOUD SNEEZE
742
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,799
They've vanished without a trace.
743
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,479
Are you sure you're OK?
744
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,839
- I think we'd better get you
checked out.
- No.
745
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:31,719
Just shook up, that's all.
746
00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:33,319
Good thing Clary got me to check in.
747
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,160
I was going to leave it
till morning.
748
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,000
Did you get a look at who it was?
749
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,240
Dog and Sir Swivel saved me.
750
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:46,880
CHURCH BELL CHIMES
751
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,880
So, we have...
752
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:01,359
...the fury of That Terry.
753
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:02,720
The blackmail of Race.
754
00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:08,960
That sneeze.
755
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:15,599
-
- We will be playing
our yellow cards this afternoon,
756
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:18,519
for our national matinee prize bank.
757
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:22,439
So, get your dobbers at the ready
and get yourselves settled in
758
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:26,599
and we'll be with you
in just a few ticks.
759
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:27,640
Doris Briggs?
760
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:29,960
What?
761
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:35,959
I need to speak to you in relation
to the death of Prudence Snook.
762
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:37,400
I don't understand.
763
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,440
Can you explain this?
764
00:40:42,720 --> 00:40:44,519
It's a bingo dobber.
765
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:47,439
It has your initials on it
and it was found at the crime scene.
766
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,319
That Pru must have stolen it.
767
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:54,319
We had it fingerprint tested and
yours are on it and Pru's weren't.
768
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:57,279
We have your fingerprints on the
police database from the time that
769
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,799
you were convicted of a burglary
in Birmingham a number of years ago.
770
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:01,120
Oh.
771
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,480
We'll be conducting a search
of your house.
772
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,080
I'm so sorry.
773
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,639
So sorry.
774
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:26,279
So here we go! Eyes down looking
for this afternoon's Big One.
775
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:31,199
We are hooked up all around the
world, and the prize is enormous!
776
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:32,799
Glad it's out.
777
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,079
Such a burden it's been.
778
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,999
What happened, Dobbie?
779
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,999
25, duck and dive.
780
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,959
Number 25.
781
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,399
Me lucky dobber dobbed me in, eh?
782
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:48,239
I realised I'd dropped it,
went back for it
783
00:41:48,240 --> 00:41:50,479
but couldn't get to look,
you lot there.
784
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:52,999
Number 71, seven and one.
785
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,679
71.
786
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:57,599
Hoped for the best, that it would
get rolled in with everything else,
787
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,440
but not to be.
788
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,360
What happened? Why?
789
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:07,239
13. Unlucky for some!
790
00:42:07,240 --> 00:42:08,560
13.
791
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,479
I'm in massive debt
due to bingo addiction.
792
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:16,239
Six and seven. 67.
793
00:42:16,240 --> 00:42:18,799
Here or online, I can't stop!
794
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:19,999
Eight and two...
795
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,799
When I heard the worth of it,
teacup and saucer,
796
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,519
saw that Pru in the chippy,
797
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,719
put two and two together.
798
00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:30,719
I didn't know it was her
that stole it, but
799
00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:35,120
I took a chance and said to her
in the chippy queue, "I saw you."
800
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,359
Then I knew for sure.
801
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:43,039
Got in through the back door,
like Bess taught me.
802
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:44,959
But only the cup were there.
803
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:46,399
I couldn't find the saucer.
804
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,359
Six and four. 64.
805
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,599
If I could have found the saucer,
I'd have been out of there.
806
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,959
Who'd have known
it were full of dog food?!
807
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:57,080
Number 52. Five and two.
808
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:02,479
Then Pru came back unexpectedly,
809
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:05,639
threatened me,
went to call the police.
810
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:07,839
I pushed over one of the piles.
811
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:09,680
It fell down on her.
812
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:13,279
I panicked.
813
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:15,919
Saw a step ladder, put it down,
814
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,720
made it look like an accident.
815
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,479
Fled.
816
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,280
Number 11. Legs 11.
817
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:28,999
Number four. Knock at the door.
818
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:31,519
Number four.
819
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,840
Seven and eight, 78.
820
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,599
There's £80,000 at stake.
821
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,920
We must be getting close
to a winner now.
822
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:47,399
Number three, on its own,
Cup of tea!
823
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:48,760
Number three.
824
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,959
Three and five, 35.
825
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,880
- Bingo!
- And there we have a winner!
826
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,560
♪ Get up, everybody, and sing
827
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,759
♪ We are family... ♪
828
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:09,279
There he is.
829
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:10,879
Stunning!
830
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:14,439
I'm telling ya -
Juliet Bravo, Cagney and Lacey
831
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:18,239
and every Charlie's Angels
got nothing on you, Lily.
832
00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:22,239
You are a veritable crimper
and crime buster.
833
00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:23,799
Oh, steady on.
834
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:26,919
I wouldn't have got anywhere without
double-o apprentice here!
835
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:28,760
Eh? Come on.
836
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,839
Anyway, Val, go on,
what were you saying?
837
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:39,399
So, That Terry got paid by Race
and even gave me some severance pay!
838
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:41,440
Ooh!
839
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,240
- Lonnie, are you with me?
- Am I?!
840
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:55,959
♪ We are family... ♪
841
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:57,599
Go on, girl, here we go!
842
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:00,480
♪ I got all my sisters with me
843
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,479
♪ We are family... ♪
844
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:05,799
Come on!
845
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:08,360
♪ Get up, everybody, and sing
846
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:13,999
♪ We are family
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
847
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,160
♪ I got all my sisters with me
848
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,280
♪ We are family
849
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:25,919
♪ Get up everybody and si-i-i-ing
850
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,640
♪ We are family! ♪
61287
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