All language subtitles for S09E10 - Get me to the Roof on Time

Then at 8.04, after Bull and Wanda
exchange vows, the ring bearer

approaches the altar from the left wing
of the cathedral.

The ring ceremony is followed by a kiss
to run no longer than 11 seconds and a

four-second spontaneous sigh from the
congregation, which leads to... Me

gagging for seven seconds.

No, that's not scheduled till 8.43.

I don't believe you people. Our dear,
dear friend is getting married tomorrow.

Nobody seems to be excited.

We're very excited, Christine.

We just think you're getting a little
carried away with this wedding planning.

My time is my gift to Bull and Wanda. I
just want their wedding to be everything

that mine wasn't.

It's everything the Bicentennial wasn't.

Hey, ho, wow.

Who are these vixens?

Oh, those are the Del Rubio triplets.

Triplet. Yeah, they're childhood friends
of Bull's. They're coming in for the

wedding. They're sitting at table 631.

Triplets.

I've had twins.

And quins.

Never triplets.

I'll see you at the wedding.

Well,

it's almost official.

We just picked up the marriage license.

Oh, come on, Mother Hank. This is for
ballin' wonder.

The Shannon wedding from blood test to
bouquet toss.

Oh, Mom, I didn't know I'd pick the best
girl in the world.

That you did, baby.

Although I still wish you'd have let me
hold the wedding on my oil tanker. Now,

Mother Hank, we've been over that
several times.

Today alone.

I get nauseous and pass out whenever I'm
on a boat.

Well, okay. Maybe you didn't buy it on
the shipboard wedding.

But I've got something else I know
you're gonna love.

Let's hope it doesn't have scurvy.

Darling, this is the wedding dress that
was handed down to me through five

generations of Shannon women.

And I know you'll be proud to keep up
this family tradition.

Well, we have to talk about your
mother's dress.

Quite a piece of history, huh?

It still has the stains from
great-grandmama Shannon's slaughterhouse

wedding about four.

I can't wear it.

Doesn't fit?

Doesn't fit in the 20th century.

Besides, I have my own.

Couldn't you wear it under your dress?

I tried, but when I slipped my dress
over it, something started eating

through my sleeve.

Hey, everybody.

Guess who just flew into town?

Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello.

I can't believe it, Adele Rubios. You
came all the way from Jersey.

Wow, a reunion.

Cheap sentiment, but good cinema.

Honey, I want you to meet my old
babysitters, Millie, Elena, and Edie.

Every time I went to see these gals
would watch over my boy.

Used to sing him lullabies every night.

Yep. I'd be sound asleep after three
bars of bony maroney.

And guess what?

The girls have agreed to sing at the
wedding.

Well, that's great!

Isn't it, Wanda?

Yeah, great.

Come on, dear.

Don't you want to make your future
mother-in-law happy?

Well, most people would be delighted
with all I've given this week.

Well, I... I hate most people.

Well, you don't have to tell me that.

God, I hit the pause button. Could you
repeat those last few insults?

I'll work around it.

Maybe we should continue this discussion
outside.

Excuse us.

Can you tell us where we can find Daniel
Fielding?

The fellow who sent us flowers at our
hotel room, along with a very personal

videotape. We've never met a man so at
home on a trapeze.

I'll see if I can find him.

Hey, Matt. I heard the Del Rubios are in
the building.

I'm ready for my triple dip.

Dip away, Dan.

Rubios.

I saw a picture of you.

You were a wee bit younger.

That's impossible.

We've always been this young.

Say, hot stuff, what time do you get
off?

I don't think I'll ever get off again.

Lizette, you want to hear my best man
wedding toast?

No.

Just kidding.

To Bull and Wanda, all the best.

Well, I didn't want to get bogged down
in tired cliches.

Oh, that was great, especially that
twist at the end.

Hey, you guys want to hear my best man
toast?

Sorry, Art. Bull has already asked me to
be the best man.

Hey, I am his mentor.

Mentor schmentor. I won the honor in a
card game. I laid down a full house and

Bull made me the best man. That's
ridiculous. Hey, what do you call him,

Buller Welsher?

Some mentor you are.

Unbelievable. The guy gets a full house
and he figures that entitles him to be

the best man?

Yeah. Took me forever. kind just to be
invited.

Bull, you know it's not that I strongly
dislike your mother, but this is our

wedding, not hers.

Do you mind?

Everybody wants to be a director.

Bull, this is the most important day of
our lives. and she keeps getting in the

way. You have to put your foot down.

Hello, sonny boy.

Light of my life.

Apple of my eye.

Hello, you.

Why don't I leave the two of you alone?

Mama, I was just talking to Wanda. Son,
I don't mean to be briny.

But this is the day that mothers and
sons dream about all their lives.

And she keeps spitting on all our
traditions.

Bull, it's time you put your foot down.

Fess up, Bull.

Why aren't we bailiffs invited to your
wedding?

You're all on my list.

Probably Wanda's doing.

She won't let my crewmen bring dates.

And they paid a lot of money for those
girls.

gonna give in to your sleazy come-ons.

And frankly, I'm a bit tired of being
treated like a piece of meat.

Don't you understand when a man says no,
he means no.

No. No.

No.

Sounds like a yes to me. Come on.

No,

the choir's too big for the balcony.

Well, maybe I can put the baritones on
the roof.

Christine.

Christine, where are you going to put
me?

Oh, I'm so sorry, Mac. I've hired a
professional camera crew to shoot the

wedding.

Yeah, see, there's the art director, the
camera operator, and the donut lady.

You've got to be kidding.

Look, Mike, I don't mean to sound
dictatorial, but everything has got to

go my way or no way at all. Got it,
mister?

Christine, Quadly was right. I should
have got you a toaster.

Christine, I need to talk to you about
the wedding.

Bill, do I look like I have time to talk
to you about the wedding? I'm having

trouble with my traffic flow. I've got
hot... Camera light's just inches away

from my ice sculpture. In an hour, those
kissing panda bears are going to look

like Siamese twins joined at the face.

Thanks for listening.

Yeah, anytime.

Hmm. What if ice can be laminated?

Walter's refusing to wear the lovely
peach dress I picked out for the

bridesmaids, and I will not have a
peacoat in my wedding party.

Well, I guess you know why we're here.

You won't wear your peach dresses?

Bo, you asked the both of us to be the
best man.

So which one's it gonna be, Bo? Your
mentor or a guy in a utility belt?

Didn't you have a duel or something?

I hold here a petition signed by 62.3%
of the bailiffs.

If you don't invite us to your wedding,
we'll revoke your ping-pong rights.

Hey, Bull.

Bull. I think you ought to know since
Christine replaced me with a

professional video crew, I have lost my
muse.

No way I'm wearing that dress, Missy. No
Shannon has ever worn pastel.

Well, I think you should take that up
with Wanda because she chose the

dresses. Oh, she did, did she?

She can tell me what to wear, but I have
no say in her outfit.

What do you think of that, sonny?

I'm finding it hard to think at all
right now.

Oh, by the way, Bill, I need you to make
out a check for the symphony orchestra.

Symphony?

Bill, will you please tell your mother I
will not walk down the aisle in a dress

that's trimmed in mothballs?

And I'm not giving my son away dressed
as a peach.

How's the view?

Not bad.

But ooh, the smell.

Yeah, wind's blowing in from Jersey.

Ross, why are weddings such a royal pain
in the keister?

Maybe because the whole idea is to
prepare you for marriage.

This is supposed to be... the happiest
day of my life and i can't seem to

please anyone least of all my mom and
wanda bull this is your wedding

too but so far you've been acting more
like a punching bag than a groom time to

let people know what you want maybe
you're right but what about my mom and

wanda you think they'll ever get along
of course they will they're just not

used to sharing you

Can't say I blame him.

If I was in love with you, I wouldn't
want to share you either.

Wow, how sweet. I can't believe you said
that.

Neither can I.

Must be the smell.

Has anyone seen Bull? He's canceled the
caterer and my entire video crew.

Gee, what a shame.

Does anybody know why my son told the
chaplain to take a hike?

Him, too?

Has anyone seen Fool?

I'm looking for him, too. Without
consulting me, he canceled the chaplain,

the ice sculptor, and the Peter Gennaro
dancers.

My God, he's canceling the whole
wedding, piece by piece.

It's all my fault. Why was I so selfish?

No, honey, it's my fault.

If I hadn't been so stubborn about that
raggedy old dress.

No, I'm to blame.

I've been behaving like a tyrant.

No, it's me. This best man thing just
put him over the edge.

Special delivery.

The honor of your presence is requested
on the roof now.

Yours truly, Paul.

You're not going to jump, are you?

What, and climb those stairs all over
again?

Look, over the last few days, you've all
been doing a lot of things for me, and I

know it's because you love me, but
sometimes I wish you loved me a little

less.

Bull, I'm so sorry.

I just wanted to make this day really
special for us.

It is a special day, Wanda.

You're going to become part of my
family.

But my mother started that family, and
you've got to give her room to be

yourself.

And Mama, Wanda's a part of my life now.
I want you to treat her like you treat

me. I will, son.

In fact, I'll even tattoo her name next
to yours.

Great. Now we can get married.

Christine,

we have everything we need right here,
starting with you.

Now, would you do me the honor of being
flower girl?

I'd love to.

And I promise to drop the petals in a
perfectly random pattern.

And, Mac, I think wedding photography
should only be done by close friends.

That is, if you can still find your
muse.

It's found.

And, Ross, will you stand next to me at
this ceremony?

Isn't that where the best man's supposed
to stand?

No, that's where the best person stands.

And after all, you are my best friend.

You know, if you make me cry, I'm going
to have to kill you.

See, Roz, I guess I'm not going to be
needing my best man toast.

You want to read it?

It's pithy.

Read mine.

It's pithier.

Actually, Harry, I got something else
for you to read.

Who better than my favorite judge to
perform the ceremony?

Carburetor repairs made easy.

Tom, I thought I picked up a prayer
book.

Don't worry, big guy.

I can improvise with the best of them.

And Art?

Would you be willing to give Wanda away?

Sure, I will, Bo.

But don't you ever give her away.

She's a very special lady.

Okay, I guess that about covers it.

Um, not quite. I still need a maid of
honor.

Mother Hank?

I'd be delighted, dear.

And may I say, you look mighty pretty in
that dress.

Oh, sorry it took me so long. The fabric
kept breaking my needles.

Thanks, Lisette.

I hope I didn't ruin it, Mama.

I never thought I'd see the day that my
son would wear my wedding dress.

Sanctuary.

Sanctuary. What's wrong?

Trying to ditch the three-headed libido.

Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello.

Ladies, I thought your game of
hide-and-seek would lead you up here.

Would you sing at my wedding?

Boy, we never could say no to you.

Or to any man, for that matter.

Ladies?

O is for the way you look at me.

O is for the only one I see.

V is very, very extraordinary.

is even more than anyone that you adore
can...

Friends?

Family?

Art?

You know, each and every one of us has
some special qualities that...

make us different from everybody else.

I suppose when we're all alone, we end
up thinking that those qualities might

make us unattractive.

But you only have to look at Bull and
Wanda to see that that's not true.

Here are two people that were brought
together because of their uniqueness, in

spite of it.

Two people who may...

see the world differently for most but
it's just fine for each

other.

Two people whose uniqueness has made
their love for each other

that much more special.

And now it is my great pleasure to bring
these two very special people together.

Bull, Wanda, you have any vows you want
to share?

Wanda, I promise to love you with all my
heart.

To share with you the secrets of my
soul.

And never to hog my sheets, even when my
toes are frosty.

Ditto.

Wanda, do you take Bull as your husband?

To love?

and to honor and to cherish as long as
you both shall live.

I do.

And both, you take Wanda as your wife to
love and honor and cherish

as long as you both shall live.

Okay.

Be there anyone here who knows any
reason why these two should not be wed,

let him speak now.

Or forever answer to me.

Then, by the power vested in me by the
state of New York, I pronounce you

husband and wife.

You may kiss the groom.

Okay.

I, um, had no idea you sang.

Come on.

Take it from the top.