All language subtitles for S08E24 - Wheres a Will, there is a Tony 2

Previously on Night Court... Dan, you're
building a free clinic.

No, my angel. It is Phil who guides me.
It is he whose foundation has made it

possible.

If only he had lived long enough to die
in it.

Phil, you're alive!

You're alive!

And you're wearing an Italian suit!

Life is good!

Dan! Dan, I'm not Phil.

I'm Will.

Will Sanders.

Phil's brother.

I still can't believe my beloved brother
is gone.

He was my inspiration, Dan.

You know, over the years, we turned the
fund into a multi-million dollar

charity. Phil had the light and the...

I had the know-how.

Now, Dan, imagine the heartbreak if we
had no more to give.

The fund must be replenished.

What did you plan to do when the well
ran dry?

I don't know. I guess I hoped for some
miracle.

Dan, I am that miracle.

You know, these last few weeks have been
a lot of fun.

I guess it's great that our lives both
crashed at the same time.

You know what I mean.

It's been really nice being with you.

Yeah. I've liked being with you, too.

Well, not being with you, but like
friends.

It's been really special for me.

Christine, I love you.

And I know you still love me.

I am going to get you back again.

Tony, it's taken me a long time to get
over us. I've been through a lot, but

I'm finally there. I can't go back.

I can't believe this, but I need to talk
to Tony to straighten things out.

Now? Yeah, I'm feeling a little
confused. I think maybe if I sit down

with him face to face... We weren't
supposed to do something, were we?

No, no, it's okay.

See you later.

Will, I would like to take you on the
Phil Foundation in a permanent capacity,

if you're interested.

Oh, nothing on earth would mean more to
me, brother Dan.

He bought it. We're in.

I'll meet you in Rio in two weeks.

And, uh, Sammy, book me a suite.

I want to have lots of room to enjoy
Fielding's Millions.

Hi-hi.

So how about that Christine and Tony,
huh?

How about them?

Oh, come on. It's so obvious.

Two nights ago, they went jogging. The
other night, they had dinner together.

And yesterday, they had a 52-minute
phone conversation.

What have you been doing?

Aerial reconnaissance?

I'm concerned.

She's been in such an incredibly good
mood lately.

Well, we want to nip that in the bud.

I'm so concerned about Christine. Why
don't you stop snooping around behind

her back and just ask her what's going
on?

Gee, I hate to stick my nose where it
doesn't belong.

You've stuck your nose in so many
places, it's got travel stickers on it.

Hey, guys, more pictures.

Oh, look,

here's little Charlie at the petting
zoo.

Gosh, it's hard to believe he's almost a
year old.

There he is petting a baby goat.

Isn't that adorable?

Adorable? He looks like he's yanking the
goat's ear off.

Well, the goat started it.

Sure, a lot of pictures of Charlie and
Tony.

Have nose, will travel.

Ho, ho, ho!

It's Santa Claus!

Here, sport jacket for you, a
three-piece suit for you, and a complete

set of rainbow bikini briefs for you.

What give, Dan? I do. I am digesting
myself of all worldly goods.

so that they may bring warmth and
panache to others less fortunate.

Dan, giving to charity is one thing, but
your wardrobe?

If Gandhi could reach nirvana in a
diaper, I certainly can buy off the

rack.

And everything he saves goes to the Phil
Foundation so that others may dance in

his light.

Care for a crotchless sweatsuit?

Paul, what's gotten into you?

Dance philosophy.

I used to be a skeptic, but now I'm a
disciple.

Oh, no.

This is spreading like a bad rash.

And Phil is the cure. That deserves a
hallelujah.

Excuse me.

Aren't you the district attorney who
really knows what a woman wants?

Indeed I am, my innocence, and I dare
say I know what you want.

Breast reduction surgery.

Those things will ruin your posture.

Fifty dollars in time, sir.

And the clock strikes nine. It's time to
dine.

Christine?

It's little Italy night in the
cafeteria. You want to split a combo

pizza and a carafe of broma salsa?

Oh, I'd love to, but I'm starting a new
diet.

A diet?

With your figure?

Why, you think it's too late?

No, I think you look terrific.

Oh, thank you, Harry.

Oh, my gosh, I forgot I'm supposed to
meet Tony for coffee. Ciao.

Lizette, what does it mean, generally
speaking, when a woman who is already in

stellar shape decides to go on a diet?

Could mean health.

Could mean fitness.

Or maybe she plans to let her gorgeous
ex-husband see her naked again.

My guess is the last one, sir.

Come on, Bo, bring the finger
sandwiches. Our guests are drooling.

May I recommend the peanut butter and
salmon?

Wait, wait, wait. What have we
forgotten?

Him. Exactly.

So keep your...

The problem's just a toy balloon.

They'll be bursting soon.

Oops,

there it goes. Another problem.

Bon appetit.

Very touching, Dan.

Well, my sergeant in arms.

Good news.

Three more investments paid off. Now,
Dan, the cash is coming in quicker than

we can give it away.

Never. If need be, I'll drop it from a
plane.

Better yet, let's buy a plane for the
underprivileged. A whole airline. The

skies will be filled with the poor.

Headsets will be free.

That's why my brother picked you.

You're the visionary who makes dreams
come true.

I'm just a lonely tenor in your choir of
kindness.

My song is all the sweeter for it.

Well, from the sublime to the ordinary,
I'm off to Wall Street.

If I haven't used my last subway token.

Have you been paying your own expenses?

Would you stop that right now? Come
here.

Look, here is a blank check.

If you need it, use it. Really? Of
course.

Well, you say so, Dan.

Well, I'm off to the broker.

Pork bellies wait for no man.

Hold on.

I can't take this check, Dan.

This is charity work.

I can afford a few paltry dollars to
further Phil's cause.

Look, why don't you hold on to this
until I need it, hmm? Are you sure? Yes.

My only reward is to preserve my
brother's legacy.

Or should I say, both my brothers.

Well, for the first time in my life, I
know love.

Dan,

we have a problem.

One of your flock is washing his socks
in the soup tureen again.

Now I know why they called it Little
Italy Night.

Something's roaming on this pizza.

Mac, why do people make the same stupid
choices over and over?

Well, I mean, the cafeteria menu is kind
of limited.

You're talking about Christine and Tony.

Oh, oh, that stupid choice.

Did you agree? She's making a mistake.

Oh, hey, I didn't say that now.

Have some pizza.

I'd rather die.

What do you think?

I think you're jealous.

Oh, I'm not jealous. I'm concerned.

You know that Tony.

He's a Spangali in a shoulder holster.

Well, he is.

You saw the number he laid on her last
year. It took Christine months to get

over that pain.

I'm just afraid she's going to fall for
his line and get hurt all over again.

Well, I don't think you're giving her
much credit, but if you feel she's

vulnerable, you should tell her.

You don't think I'd be overstepping my
bounds? Oh, speak your mind.

What the hell am I eating?

Christine!

Oh, Harry, I'm glad I ran into you.

I need some advice about Tony.

Okay. Well, tomorrow's the anniversary
of our first date, and he wants to

celebrate it.

Pretty dangerous territory.

I know.

What if it sparks old feelings?

Are there any old feelings left to
spark?

I'm not sure.

What do you think?

Well, you know what they say, it ain't
over till the fat lady sings.

So you think I should go?

Well... Oh, maybe you're right.

Gosh, did you think I was going to tell
Tony no?

Thank you, Harry.

She was going to tell him no?

Well, how'd it go?

Oh, great.

Swell. I gave her love advice from Yogi
Berra.

What you doing, Dan?

Donating my organs to science.

How about you, Ross?

It's the ultimate gift to your fellow
man.

No, thanks. For all we know, the spleen
may be the passport to heaven.

Jack, oh, wizened friend, I haven't
forgotten you.

You who can see more beauty than ten
sighted men.

How would you like to inherit my eyes?

Depends. What color?

Brown.

I suppose I could pick up some blue
contacts.

Mr. Fielding. Mr.

Hudson, the banker extraordinaire.

A banker that makes house calls?

Hey, you manage an eight-figure account.

They follow you to the can.

Are you aware that checks written on the
Phil Foundation account are bouncing

left and right?

What? It's impossible. I have over $10
million in that account.

Not anymore.

Your balance as of this morning was
$4.62.

For a second there, I thought you were
broke.

How could that happen?

Well, we did cash that check for 10.2
million.

No, wait, I never wrote a check for that
much.

Yes, you did. It cleared this morning to
one Will Sanders for subway tokens.

No, no, no, no, no. Will could not have
cashed that check.

You see, I have it right here.

So long.

How rude.

For all that money, you'd think he'd
have sprung for a card.

Oh, I don't believe it, Max.

It was the moment of truth. Christine
asked my opinion, I looked her dead in

the eye, and I said, it ain't over till
the fat lady sings.

and possessed me and forced me to say it
ain't over till the fat lady sings. I

am such a jerk.

Oh, come on, Harry. Give yourself a
break.

So you cracked under pressure like a
tiny little twig in a fierce snowstorm.

Don't sugarcoat it, Mac.

I blew it. It was the perfect
opportunity to tell Christine that she's

making the biggest mistake of her life
if only I had that moment back.

Harry, here's those bail reports you
needed.

Well, I'm off.

Big night with Tony.

Oh, anything else before I go?

Have a ball.

Donation checks are bouncing like super
balls.

You guys building the free clinic have
stopped construction until they get

paid?

The organ donor people want a good-faith
kidney up front.

Say it ain't so, Dan.

Say it ain't so.

Will is probably right now on a beach in
Tahiti surrounded by a bevy of beauties

sipping Mai Tais.

Wearing a bathing suit made out of
money.

Gee, it must hurt when he sits.

Especially if you sit on Eisenhower's
face.

I've let everyone down.

Because of me, the free clinic won't be
built.

Hungry orphans won't be fed.

Maybe pets won't be petted.

10.2. Two million points of light burned
out forever.

Come on, Dan. It's not like you let
everyone down.

No. No.

Will's got to be one happy camper.

I never knew evil could be so evil.

I've got to look for the bright side in
this, though.

What bright side?

Oh. I started out with nothing, and I
made it to the top once. I can do it

again. All right, granted, this time I'm
starting out with less than nothing.

I'm also starting with a plan.

You have a plan?

I'll let it out.

It's my plan.

I'm going to make it work, because dead
building is the survivor.

I'm not going to walk through life with
my chin dragging on the ground, am I?

I wouldn't.

It's murder on a staircase.

That's it.

staircase. I've been on the top step
once. I can climb there again because I

have a plan.

And this time, when I get to the top
step of that shining staircase, I'm

landing there a winner because I've got
high apple pie in the sky.

Hopes everything's coming up. Sunshine
and lollipops. And as God is my witness,

Dan Fielding will never go hungry again.

No!

Forget the handcuffs, Giuliano. Just get
me away from that bomb-sniffing dog.

Oh, Tony, I haven't heard a good
bomb-sniffing dog story in months.

I got a million of them, darling.

What is it, Tony?

I don't know. We might have had this
feeling that we're being followed.

Oh, come on, let's get your cop stuff.

Relax, you're off duty.

Yeah. You're right.

Gosh, it's a beautiful evening. Look at
that moon.

Yeah. You can even see the stars.

That's the Big Dipper.

Wow. The enormity of the universe always
makes me feel so insignificant.

Insignificant is something you will
never be, Sullivan.

You know, Tony, I've lived in New York
for 13 years, and this is the first time

I have ever been in a horse-drawn
carriage.

It's kind of romantic, wasn't it?

It sure is.

So, have you been thinking about what we
talked about?

Yes, and I think we should do it.

So what do you think, should we invite a
lot of people?

No, no, I think it should be some small,
intimate affair, just relatives.

Good, good, because I hate when couples
make it a big deal, they invite the

whole world.

What you looking at?

See that couple?

Yeah? I've been following them all
night.

Really? Why?

To get to the girl.

Really? Why?

They used to be married, and he wants
them to get back together, but I know

that he will ruin her life. He's a
tricky one. Yeah, all wrong for each

other, huh? Oh, yeah, but he's got this
hypnotic thing over her. Oh, very

insidious. Yeah, yeah, but I can help
her. I can save her if I can just get a

couple of minutes alone with her. No
luck so far? No luck.

See this tie?

Yeah, yeah? It used to be a whole one
until I got it caught in the rear wheel

of their horse-drawn carriage.

While he was whispering sweet nothings
in her ear, I was being dragged through

every pothole on Fifth Avenue.

We are obsessed, aren't we? You bet. And
then I was hiding in a dumpster,

eavesdropping on their candlelit dinner.
I got mugged. No!

Did you lose all your money? No, no, no.
I always carry some cash in my hat band.

Lucky break.

Oh, boy, I'll say.

I gotta get her alone.

You got any ideas?

Just one.

What? Your money.

What? Your money.

Oh, not again. Come on, come on, come
on, come on. Your money. Shh, could you

keep this down? This could be very
embarrassing.

Not half as embarrassing as it's going
to be if I don't get some cash. Freeze!

NYPD, give me a gun. We'll all live to
tell our grandchildren about this. Thank

you very much.

Small world, huh?

Harry, what are you doing here?

I can tell you.

This pervert has been stalking you two
for hours. I have not.

Okay, I have, but I would say that
stalking is a loaded word.

Harry, you've been following us?

Well, I can explain.

So can I. Oh, you, turn around.

Listen, I'm going to call for some
backup.

You need an ambulance, Harry?

It's too late. I already died of
embarrassment.

You guys wait here. Come on, move it.

Harry, what the hell are you doing here?

I... Thumpfring.

Christine, I followed you here because I
didn't want you to make another mistake.

Another mistake?

Christine, Tony is not right for you.

Oh, really?

Weren't you the one that said it's not
over till the black lady sings?

fat lady.

And yeah, I said it, but I didn't mean
it. Since when do you listen to anything

I say, anyway?

Don't change the subject. Okay, I won't.
Christy, I'm here to save you.

You and Tony, it's not gonna work out.

No kidding, Harry.

Tony and I discussed it at dinner. We've
decided to be just friends.

What about that small intimate affair
thing you were talking about?

Little Charlie's first birthday party?

We can go if you want to, Harry, but I
think you might feel a little stupid

playing red light, green light with a
bunch of toddlers.

Big mix-up, huh?

No, you're the one that's mixed up.
You've got me pegged for someone I'm

not. I am not Little Red Riding Hood. I
do not need you to protect me from the

Big Bad Wolf, and if I want to go to
Grandma's house, that's my choice. So

what are you trying to say? You don't
trust my instincts. You don't trust me.

You don't trust my judgment. Well,
pardon me for trying to keep my best

friend from getting hurt again.

So I'm friend. I don't have room in my
life for friends like you, Harry. So

you're saying you don't want to be
friends anymore. No, I don't. Well,

good. Neither do I.

Gee, it's really been a while and still
no word from Dan.

Oh, he probably just took a long
vacation.

What do you think?

I know it's been a vacation for me.

I'd like Dan to just disappear like
this.

I hope he didn't do anything rash.

Oh, ye of little faith.

Don't worry about Dan.

He has a plan.