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1
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:57,182
-I told you.
-Told me what?
2
00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:59,142
That you'd be sorry
you ever encouraged me
3
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,643
to cry here.
4
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,061
I'm not sorry at all.
5
00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:06,566
You didn't expect it
to be like this, I bet.
6
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:07,984
Like what?
7
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,113
You know what?
8
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,783
It's disappointing.
9
00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:17,702
I thought I'd feel better,
relieved.
10
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,789
I thought
it'd be a lot more fun.
11
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:24,334
-And it isn't?
-No, it's horrible.
12
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,711
I don't know if I'm able
to talk today, Paul.
13
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:31,341
I shouldn't have come.
I should have just--
14
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,219
I should have
just called it off. I'm sorry.
15
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:40,767
-Are you all right?
16
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:42,101
-Yeah.
-Sit down.
17
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,478
-Sit.
18
00:01:50,109 --> 00:01:53,112
You know, I've been sitting
in the park about four hours.
19
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,241
-Here?
-Yeah.
20
00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:59,494
I wanted
to call it off, the session,
21
00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:01,037
but...
22
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,915
I wasn't sure I'd be able
to make it home alone.
23
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:08,545
I took a cab here.
My car's at home.
24
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:11,381
Oh... God,
at least I think it is.
25
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:18,221
Yeah, yeah, my car's at home.
26
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:24,185
My God, it's freezing.
27
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,687
I came this close to knocking
28
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,856
-and asking for a sweater.
-When was that?
29
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:31,025
I don't know. Maybe five
or six, I can't remember.
30
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,777
It was still dark.
31
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,571
I waited for the sun to come up.
32
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:38,992
I never waited this long
for a sunrise,
33
00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:41,619
except maybe on a camping trip
in fifth grade.
34
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:47,125
Thank you.
35
00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:06,686
-You know what I did?
-What?
36
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,980
I held my cell phone
37
00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:11,566
and I watched the minutes go by.
38
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,402
It felt like forever
for one minute
39
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,237
to turn into the next.
40
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:20,199
I thought to myself,
"How stupid is this...
41
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,827
dying on the street
like roadkill outside
42
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,621
your therapist's office?"
43
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,802
I'm sorry, Paul. I--
44
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,263
I should have called it off.
I shouldn't have come.
45
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,848
You should have come here.
46
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,188
What happened last night?
47
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:55,276
Well, what didn't happen?
48
00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:01,658
The long version
or the bottom line?
49
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,868
Because the bottom line's
very simple.
50
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:08,456
My life is over.
51
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:11,709
Then, you'd better tell me
the long version.
52
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:22,971
I left Andrew.
53
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,057
We had a big blowout--
54
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:29,352
Screaming, crying-- The works.
55
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:32,105
And at some point I,
uh, I called Alona
56
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,482
and we went out for a drink
and...
57
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,069
we had a few drinks.
58
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:43,449
Listen, I'm not here. I'm--
I'm so totally not here.
59
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,244
You are very much here, Laura.
60
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,207
No, it's not me that's here.
61
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,586
Believe me, you'd be shocked
62
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,463
to know the person
that's sitting here.
63
00:04:58,506 --> 00:04:59,716
I did some...
64
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,926
I did some terrible things
last night.
65
00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:13,062
I feel sick.
66
00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:17,025
But I don't wanna throw up.
67
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:18,735
It doesn't matter,
it's no big deal.
68
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,862
What do you mean?
It's vomit.
69
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:23,322
I'm not gonna vomit
all over your rug.
70
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,116
It's a cheap rug, Laura.
71
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:30,371
Let's talk about
what's really going on here.
72
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,209
Hmm?
73
00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:54,062
It's Andrew.
74
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,106
He knows I'm here at this time.
75
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,233
-Why is he calling me here?
-Maybe he's worried.
76
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,860
You were out of the house
all night.
77
00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:03,029
Yeah, right. If he really cared,
he wouldn't have started
78
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:05,198
-with his shit.
-Start what?
79
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,414
At the club, this guy...
80
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,294
Oh, my God...
81
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:27,470
He had corduroy pants on,
preppy sweater...
82
00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:31,891
-a republican, probably.
83
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,772
You know?
Can I step out for a second
84
00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:39,357
and let him know I'm here?
I mean,
85
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,068
I can't concentrate
with this shit.
86
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:44,987
-Just a sec.
-Laura, the call can wait.
87
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,300
Andrew gave me an ultimatum...
88
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:11,180
either we get married
or we split.
89
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,516
Said he wants an answer
in a day or two
90
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,810
or else he's out.
91
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,562
He said
he can't take it anymore.
92
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,690
That he loves me,
that he doesn't believe
93
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:23,568
I love him-- Not for real.
94
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:26,445
That it's been two years already
on and off,
95
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,489
blah, blah, blah.
96
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,032
I don't know why,
all of a sudden,
97
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,827
he just started...
ranting and raving.
98
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:37,081
We've talked
about this stuff before.
99
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,500
But it was all in theory,
if we stayed together.
100
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,419
If.
101
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,462
and suddenly,
out of the blue, I--
102
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,673
I can't even remember
what we were doing.
103
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:48,718
We were watching TV.
104
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,720
All of a sudden
he just gets off the couch
105
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,638
and grabs the remote
and turns off the TV
106
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,599
and turns to me
and has tears in his eyes
107
00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:57,560
and he says, "That's it.
I can't take it anymore."
108
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:01,230
Wow! So out of line.
109
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,691
Promised he'd lay off
the subject for a while
110
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,777
and all of a sudden
he's on this crying bullshit.
111
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,571
He actually burst out crying.
112
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:11,032
I've never seen him
like that before.
113
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:14,035
And to tell you
the truth, it really scared me.
114
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:16,037
-No, it made me angry.
-Why?
115
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,372
Because he's trying
to manipulate me with these--
116
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:19,790
these cheap chick tricks.
117
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,668
Maybe he thought
he would break my heart
118
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:23,878
or something.
119
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:27,006
Appeal to my...
120
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,342
Shit, you know, forget it.
I don't know.
121
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,094
I threw a tantrum
122
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,763
like a three-year-old.
123
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,514
Screamed, cried...
124
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,935
told him to fuck off.
125
00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,605
I told him he was
a little piece of shit
126
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,232
for doing this to me
when he knows
127
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,400
that I'm working double shifts
at the hospital this week.
128
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,029
I slammed the door.
129
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:53,157
Smashed his laptop on the floor.
I killed it.
130
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,743
I ran out and I called Alona.
131
00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,703
She dressed me in this outfit.
132
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:02,875
It's-- it's not mine.
133
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:06,963
We went out for a drink on a--
134
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,257
At a club that she likes
on Chester Street.
135
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:13,010
Oh, she tried to calm me down,
put things into perspective.
136
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:15,137
And she said...
137
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,725
she said that I was lucky.
138
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,063
That she wished somebody
loved her enough
139
00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:25,606
to give her an ultimatum.
140
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:34,282
And then we drank.
Well... I drank.
141
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:39,245
And, uh, there was this guy
at the bar...
142
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:41,455
and at some point Alona
said that she was tired
143
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,749
and that she needed to go home.
144
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,459
And then that guy...
145
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,213
moved next to me and, um...
146
00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:53,217
you know what he said?
He said...
147
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:55,886
"You look so sad."
148
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,181
And I said, "Really?"
149
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:03,019
And he said, "Yeah, you do.
It looks good on you."
150
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:07,648
"Looks good on you."
151
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,817
I mean, whatever happened to,
"Do you have the time?"
152
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,153
Or "Haven't we met before?"
Or...
153
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:14,363
I must be totally out of touch,
Paul.
154
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,326
What do you think?
I mean, do I look good
155
00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:19,535
when I'm sad?
156
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,582
I-- I don't think
anybody looks good
157
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:25,875
when they're sad.
158
00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:34,675
And then, uh...
159
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,845
I don't know how much
I had to drink
160
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:40,348
'cause he was ordering for me,
of course.
161
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:42,058
And then he, uh, paid the bill
162
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,185
and he asked me, "Would you
like to go somewhere else?"
163
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:47,563
And I said... "Yes, I'd like
to go to the bathroom."
164
00:10:47,646 --> 00:10:50,441
So I stood up and I went
to the bathroom.
165
00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:52,443
He follows me.
166
00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:55,780
And you wouldn't believe it,
but these were unisex bathrooms.
167
00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:58,866
Am I unlucky or what?
168
00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:01,160
How-- how do you mean, unlucky?
169
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:03,371
Well, I'm-- I'm running away
from a guy and I'm--
170
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,664
Oh, yeah, you were trying
to get away from the guy.
171
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,417
Right. I mean, I needed to pee,
you know, by myself.
172
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,336
I've been doing that
since I was three.
173
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,343
So I realized I needed
to make a decision.
174
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:20,054
By following me to the bathroom
this guy was also giving me
175
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,889
an ultimatum.
176
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:24,100
I thought, "Fuck,
out of the pan
177
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,977
and into the fire."
I ran away from one ultimatum
178
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,105
and there was this guy
with a hard-on
179
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,356
giving me another.
180
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,820
Suddenly I felt like doing it.
181
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:42,034
I never had sex
in a bathroom before.
182
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,372
I mean, what?
183
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:48,374
I should go and marry Andrew
without ever knowing
184
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:51,836
what a good bathroom fuck's
all about?
185
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:54,672
It's part of a young lady's
education, isn't it?
186
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,882
So you wanted
to do it...
187
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,552
but not to get back at Andrew?
188
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:02,221
-Just for yourself?
-That's right.
189
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:07,393
A girl being forced
into marriage...
190
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,729
what's she supposed to do,
die ignorant?
191
00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:16,152
So this guy follows me
into the stall and...
192
00:12:17,736 --> 00:12:18,904
suddenly...
193
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,032
I was horny.
194
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,121
Is hearing about this
disgusting to you?
195
00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:29,498
No... it's not disgusting.
196
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:31,917
Go on.
197
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,505
He unzipped...
198
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,675
pulled down his pants...
199
00:12:39,758 --> 00:12:43,929
and he stood there with his...
huge...
200
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,269
Oh, God. I felt like I was 16.
201
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,318
Touching it
for the very first time.
202
00:12:57,401 --> 00:13:00,154
I was really...
surprised at how...
203
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,948
warm it felt.
204
00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:05,701
I mean,
don't I know that already?
205
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:10,331
And then he...
turned me around
206
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,541
to face the door...
207
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,836
and he pulled down my stockings.
208
00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:19,715
He lifted up my skirt...
209
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:22,676
Put his hand
into his back pocket
210
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,178
and pulled out a condom.
211
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,598
I realize this guy's
very good at this.
212
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:30,518
He does this a lot.
He's a-- he's a real pro.
213
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,896
And then this...
214
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:38,108
guy entered the stall
next to us and started peeing...
215
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:41,529
in gushes,
full volume like a racehorse.
216
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,244
I thought of Andrew.
217
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,874
How-- how he pees
in the morning,
218
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:55,417
making the same sound.
219
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,129
My heart ached. I just--
220
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,427
I was so stupid, you know?
I just felt
221
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,846
so sad all of a sudden.
222
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,099
And he's behind me
and he's rubbing up against me
223
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:13,561
and he's feeling me up.
224
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:15,062
And I thought,
"It's gonna happen
225
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:17,773
any moment now." And I just...
226
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:21,068
I just couldn't do it.
227
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:23,279
I simply closed my legs shut.
I--
228
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,239
I couldn't.
I couldn't do it to Andrew.
229
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:26,907
I just-- I just couldn't do it.
230
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,999
Well...
seems like quite a night out.
231
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:37,001
Yeah,
well that's not the end of it,
232
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:40,546
because this idiot,
I told him...
233
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,840
"I'm really sorry,
but I-- I have a boyfriend.
234
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,925
I can't do this."
And he laughs in my face
235
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,802
and says "boo-hoo."
And he grabs my hands
236
00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:48,470
and he says, "Listen, cupcake.
237
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,806
You think you can leave me
high and dry like this?"
238
00:14:50,889 --> 00:14:52,349
Pointing at his dick.
239
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:55,269
"The least you can do
is make it up to me."
240
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:56,937
I said to him,
"What do you want?
241
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,398
You want--
you want some money?"
242
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:01,942
He said, "Give me a hand job...
243
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,445
and there'll be
no hard feelings."
244
00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:06,614
And I said to him,
"What's the matter with you?
245
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:07,990
Are you crazy?"
246
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:10,117
And he just-- He was just
getting really strange.
247
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,786
I mean, it was tense.
His tone changed.
248
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,292
And then--
249
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:19,793
and then I thought of you...
250
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,923
What you'd say about it.
251
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:28,719
I thought about us going
through this in therapy.
252
00:15:29,928 --> 00:15:33,432
And what did you
imagine us saying?
253
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:39,021
I imagined you not being able
to understand it...
254
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:43,651
that you'd be disgusted.
255
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,572
Is that why you ran over here?
256
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:52,284
To find out if...
I would be disgusted?
257
00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:54,787
I didn't run.
258
00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:59,792
I gave him the hand job.
259
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,222
Excuse me.
260
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:39,581
-Are you okay?
-Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.
261
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,444
Yeah.
262
00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:52,613
Thank you.
263
00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:58,827
We, um--
264
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,914
we talked about what happened
at the, uh, the club last night,
265
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:04,625
but we never got back
to actually talking
266
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:08,962
about Andrew
and that argument yesterday.
267
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,840
I don't wanna be put
in this position.
268
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,009
I don't wanna have this power
to decide our future
269
00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:15,803
for both of us. I just don't.
270
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:19,014
Do you have any idea why Andrew
chose this particular time?
271
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:22,142
-What do you mean?
-Do you think that Andrew,
272
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:26,688
just, uh, out of the blue,
as you said yourself,
273
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,315
came up with this idea
of an ultimatum?
274
00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:30,025
Did you notice anything
over the last couple
275
00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:34,988
of days or weeks that you think
might have brought this on?
276
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:38,408
Nothing. I don't know.
He just lost it.
277
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:41,036
I mean, shit, don't you know
that men are the new women?
278
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:42,996
Obsessed with weddings
and children.
279
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,915
And lately he's lost touch
with reality.
280
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:47,084
He-- he thinks
I'm seeing someone.
281
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:48,627
That how this
whole thing started.
282
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,546
-It's unbelievable.
-But I thought you said
283
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,297
it came out of nowhere.
284
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,132
You were watching TV
and then suddenly--
285
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:56,176
Well, we were watching TV.
But before that
286
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,719
we were having dinner and
287
00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,930
he had this look on his face.
He had this sad look
288
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,723
and I could just tell
something was up.
289
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,225
I mean, you can just tell,
right?
290
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,477
And I said to him,
"What's going on?" And he said,
291
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:08,230
"I don't know what I want.
I just know I don't want
292
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:10,858
this on and off thing."
So I said to him,
293
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,193
"Sure, then let's just decide.
Either we get married
294
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,903
-or we split."
-So you were the one
295
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,613
-who came up with it.
-With what?
296
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,448
-The ultimatum.
-No, he's the one.
297
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,409
He had the problem
with the on and off thing,
298
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:21,869
-not me.
-Yeah, but "on and off"
299
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:23,537
can mean several things.
300
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:26,123
You were the one
who made it specific.
301
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:29,167
"Get married or to split up."
That was your ultimatum.
302
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:32,170
No, no, no, he had this thing
with this on and o--
303
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,380
The ultim--
304
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:41,096
Yeah, okay.
305
00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:43,223
I was the first one to say it,
you're right.
306
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,475
But he jumped all over it.
I said I didn't know
307
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:48,687
what I want. And he said,
"You have a day or two max
308
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:50,105
to decide what you want."
309
00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:52,232
And I said, "Fine."
And then he started crying
310
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,401
and blah, blah, blah.
311
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:56,862
The whole thing was really scary
to him, I think.
312
00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:59,781
What about you?
Weren't you scared?
313
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:01,575
Of what?
314
00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:03,201
Of splitting up.
315
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,037
I wasn't suggesting
that we split up.
316
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,955
-That's not the point.
-So-- so what do you think
317
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:10,208
was the point of this argument
that you may have initiated?
318
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,835
I didn't initiate anything.
319
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:15,088
You may not have meant to,
but you did.
320
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,633
It sounds like you wanted
to bring this relationship
321
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,259
into crisis.
322
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:23,972
I-- I know you say that Andrew
hates uncertainties,
323
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:28,185
but... perhaps you're the one
who can't live with them.
324
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,940
I mean, why did you choose
this particular time...
325
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:37,653
-to bring things to a head?
-I did no such thing.
326
00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:42,950
Why now?
327
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:50,123
Because he's right.
328
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:53,752
Andrew's right.
329
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,381
I am being unfaithful to him.
330
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,300
You mean
what happened last night...
331
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:02,135
at the club?
332
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,138
Not just last night.
333
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:09,768
I've--
I've been unfaithful to him
334
00:21:09,851 --> 00:21:10,936
for a long time.
335
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,773
So why--
why haven't we talked
336
00:21:14,856 --> 00:21:16,358
about this before?
337
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,278
I think we have.
338
00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:26,076
It's been here all along.
339
00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:30,539
You mean to say
you've never noticed it?
340
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:36,003
You're surprised.
341
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:39,548
No, I'm not surprised.
342
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:42,718
I-- I just-- I don't follow
what you mean.
343
00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:53,145
This isn't...
344
00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:56,273
the reaction I was hoping for.
345
00:21:58,608 --> 00:22:00,819
Not at all.
346
00:22:00,902 --> 00:22:03,572
What was the reaction
that you were hoping for?
347
00:22:05,407 --> 00:22:08,410
I... I had...
348
00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:10,579
two scenarios in my head.
349
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:13,290
In the first one,
you stand up and you hug me...
350
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,002
and you say, "I love you.
351
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,421
I love you too, Laura.
352
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,008
I've been feeling this way
for a long time.
353
00:22:23,091 --> 00:22:25,594
I just wanted you
to be the first one to say it."
354
00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:29,389
And then we make love.
355
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,227
And the, um...
356
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:38,148
The second scenario?
357
00:22:38,231 --> 00:22:40,901
It's like the first one,
but...
358
00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:43,570
but without the sex.
359
00:22:43,653 --> 00:22:45,280
We just sit here together.
360
00:22:51,161 --> 00:22:52,704
You know, I'm-- I'm--
I'm embarrassed
361
00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:54,748
to even talk about it. You...
362
00:22:54,831 --> 00:22:57,334
I mean, you're sitting there
like a fucking Buddha,
363
00:22:57,417 --> 00:22:59,461
acting like you have no idea
what I'm talking about.
364
00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:00,754
You know, it's humiliating.
365
00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:05,759
How long
have you felt like this?
366
00:23:06,968 --> 00:23:08,136
A year...
367
00:23:10,305 --> 00:23:12,766
from the first session.
I thought it would go away.
368
00:23:12,849 --> 00:23:15,185
I thought it's just
an infatuation, that's all.
369
00:23:17,604 --> 00:23:19,689
But it's getting worse.
370
00:23:21,024 --> 00:23:22,901
You've become
the center of my life.
371
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:29,366
Laura...
372
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,368
I'm your therapist.
373
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:38,208
The parameters
and the limitations...
374
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:43,630
are established
and ethically defined.
375
00:23:47,425 --> 00:23:48,718
I'm not an option.
376
00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:56,017
You may be using me as a...
377
00:23:58,061 --> 00:23:59,521
as an excuse...
378
00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:03,316
to bail from your relationship
with-- with Andrew.
379
00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:13,451
You know
why I didn't fuck that guy?
380
00:24:15,453 --> 00:24:16,997
Not because of Andrew.
381
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,832
Not because
I didn't want to cheat on him.
382
00:24:18,915 --> 00:24:20,959
I do want to cheat on him...
383
00:24:21,042 --> 00:24:22,335
but with you.
384
00:24:27,257 --> 00:24:30,218
When I was sitting there
at the bar by myself,
385
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:33,221
I was thinking what would
happen if you were to walk in?
386
00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:36,057
You'd walk in, you'd--
you'd sit next to me at the bar,
387
00:24:36,141 --> 00:24:37,684
you'd order a drink. I'd even--
388
00:24:37,767 --> 00:24:40,562
I even tried to imagine
what you would order.
389
00:24:40,645 --> 00:24:43,356
A shot of bourbon maybe,
something expensive,
390
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,693
something fancy.
Then we'd start talking.
391
00:24:46,776 --> 00:24:49,362
What a coincidence
it is to meet like this,
392
00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:52,115
how awkward it is
to meet outside the office.
393
00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:56,995
And then, without words...
394
00:24:57,078 --> 00:24:59,331
because we-- we talk enough
when we're here.
395
00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:04,252
You motion for me
to follow you to the bathroom.
396
00:25:06,296 --> 00:25:07,380
And I do.
397
00:25:12,135 --> 00:25:14,262
When I went into the stall
with that guy...
398
00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:19,517
I imagined it was you behind me.
399
00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:21,561
That's what made it so exciting.
400
00:25:23,396 --> 00:25:26,066
Then that guy started peeing...
401
00:25:26,149 --> 00:25:28,944
and it woke me up and I realized
that it's impossible.
402
00:25:30,153 --> 00:25:32,155
I know it, I understand it.
403
00:25:32,239 --> 00:25:34,366
I tell myself that every time
I walk out of here.
404
00:25:34,449 --> 00:25:36,409
I know it. I understand it.
But I'm not sure
405
00:25:36,493 --> 00:25:37,994
that my body understands it.
406
00:25:41,122 --> 00:25:43,083
I know it can never happen.
I know it.
407
00:25:45,168 --> 00:25:47,295
So don't worry. I'm not gonna
start showing up here.
408
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:49,297
I'm not gonna start stalking you
like...
409
00:25:50,548 --> 00:25:52,926
Glenn Close in that movie.
410
00:25:54,552 --> 00:25:57,555
I'm not gonna...
boil your kids' rabbit.
411
00:25:57,639 --> 00:25:58,765
I'm not dangerous.
412
00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:03,645
At least not to you.
413
00:26:05,105 --> 00:26:07,482
God, how can I go back
to my life?
414
00:26:07,565 --> 00:26:09,276
To the hospital? To Andrew?
415
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:10,819
Not to Andrew?
When the only thing
416
00:26:10,902 --> 00:26:12,362
that matters to me is you.
417
00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:28,878
Our time's up.
418
00:26:32,799 --> 00:26:34,050
Yes, it is.
419
00:26:41,057 --> 00:26:42,684
I feel like I came here
in the dark
420
00:26:42,767 --> 00:26:44,853
and I'm leaving
into a bigger darkness.
421
00:26:49,899 --> 00:26:51,359
What am I gonna do now?
422
00:26:54,321 --> 00:26:56,031
We'll talk about it next week.
423
00:26:57,657 --> 00:26:58,742
Okay?
424
00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:07,042
I'll call you a taxi.
425
00:27:08,793 --> 00:27:10,003
No, I'm fine.
426
00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:13,089
Are you sure?
427
00:27:18,178 --> 00:27:21,264
-How are you gonna get home?
31080
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