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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,239
We all worry about looking after
our loved ones as they get older,
2
00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:05,919
but at Querrick Medical,
3
00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:08,279
we've developed a diverse
range of compassionate,
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00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:11,519
reliable and attentive
care support humanoid workers
5
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:13,719
to offer round-the-clock home care
6
00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:15,999
at an affordable
monthly subscription.
7
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,959
Each robot is unique, whilst meeting
British robot safety standards.
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00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,439
And if your loved one would feel
more comfortable
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00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,599
with a familiar face,
10
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:28,319
we have a variety of robots who look
identical to beloved personalities.
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00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,999
Haven Comfort -
for companionship, independence...
12
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,399
...and peace of mind.
13
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,519
Terms and conditions apply.
14
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,520
We do not take responsibility if
the robot attacks or disfigures you.
15
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:40,399
I'm sorry, darling.
Take your dirty foot off the bed.
16
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,719
You're fortunate it's just
a sprained wrist,
17
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,279
cos a fall at your age...
18
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:45,439
Didn't fall.
19
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:46,799
I fainted.
20
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,759
I've had low blood pressure faints
the whole of my life.
21
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,759
Well, you're lucky like plucky
22
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,679
you never smash your head on
the corner of the coffee table,
23
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,519
or land teeth-first
on the iron doorstep,
24
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,839
or fall down the marble staircase.
25
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,719
What, the marble staircase
in my two-bed terrace?
26
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:05,599
The home environment can be
lethal at your age, you know.
27
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,519
Hey! Don't joke with it.
28
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,759
Now, in terms of recovery,
you're going to need help.
29
00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:11,959
You live with anybody?
30
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:15,599
Yeah. I live with my son, Michael,
and he should be here any minute.
31
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:16,799
Is it?
32
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,999
Well, he's taking a long time.
33
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,399
Look, love...
34
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,359
...does Michael really exist?
35
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,879
Mum! Oh, Michael!
Where the hell have you been?
36
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,399
Um...
37
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,759
How did you fall? I fainted.
38
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:30,999
And apparently I'm very lucky
39
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,639
I didn't fall in a fire
or a hornet's nest!
40
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:37,159
You can pick up her pain relief
prescription at the reception.
41
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:38,359
Look what me have for you.
42
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:41,759
SHE CHUCKLES
43
00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:44,079
If she's going home, I'm going home.
44
00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:45,319
Mr Thomas!
45
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,999
We cannot send you home
'pon your own,
46
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,919
and if you won't go
into assisted living...
47
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,639
I don't belong in a care home!
48
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:52,879
I mean, look at me.
49
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,239
I can lift a bed!
50
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:55,879
HE STRAINS
51
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,519
Oh, what a backside.
52
00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:58,839
Lyle!
53
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,999
Here we are.
54
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,959
All right.
55
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:07,119
PHONE VIBRATES
56
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,639
Oh, I've just got to take this.
57
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:10,079
You go through to the kitchen.
58
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,959
It's just about the, er...
59
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,679
The broadband, the, um...
60
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:14,999
The gigabyte, the, um...
61
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,199
The transponder!
62
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:17,439
Lovely.
63
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,480
Hello, babe.
64
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,040
Yes, I'm home.
65
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,439
No, I haven't told her yet.
66
00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:28,039
She's just had a fall.
67
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,719
I'm not delaying it. It's just...
68
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,160
It's just a difficult conversation
to have.
69
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:35,440
That's hurtful.
70
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,840
I'm not a nappy-wearing,
breast-fed emperor baby.
71
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:46,559
Mum.
72
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,559
I don't like to pester.
73
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,479
Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry.
74
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,319
I just haven't had time to plant it.
75
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,399
I got it... I know, I know.
76
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,759
August 16th. Yeah.
77
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,319
It doesn't seem like two years,
does it?
78
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:03,439
He's still everywhere.
SHE CHUCKLES
79
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,319
It's called a David Rose.
80
00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,800
That's why I chose it.
I will get round to it, I promise.
81
00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:16,639
I want you to know that I know
how lucky I am that you're here.
82
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:20,519
Going through this alone
would just be awful.
83
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:21,600
SHE CHUCKLES
84
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,120
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
85
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,759
OK. Um...
86
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:33,599
So I was late picking you up because
87
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,400
I was with, um...
88
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,240
...Renee. I was with Renee.
89
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,399
She's changed.
She's getting therapy.
90
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,719
She's getting therapy
91
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:52,719
because she cheated on you
with her karate instructor?
92
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:53,759
Yes.
93
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,599
She's making real inroads with that.
94
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,999
And it's BJJ, Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
95
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,839
Well, as long as you don't
do anything stupid,
96
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,080
like move back in with her.
97
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,239
Oh, you berk!
98
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:10,439
I still love her, Mum.
99
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,879
How can you be sure
she isn't still cheating on you
100
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:14,959
with her karate instructor?
101
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,319
She told me.
102
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:17,759
And...
103
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,919
...it's Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
104
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:23,000
It's a lot more lethal than karate.
105
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,919
I'm 42.
106
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,199
I'm not meant to be with my mum
on a Saturday night,
107
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,679
watching Michael McIntyre.
108
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,199
You were cackling at
Michael McIntyre's jokes
109
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,039
about buffets. Cackling!
110
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,919
I'm sorry. I didn't realise
you were having such a bad time!
111
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,599
Mum.
112
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,759
I can't just leave my wife
113
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,799
and look after you the way
you looked after Dad.
114
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,639
That is very different!
115
00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,560
Your dad was very, very sick.
PLATE SMASHES
116
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,040
And I don't need looking after.
117
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,319
Well, I'm sorry.
118
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,159
I just have to start building
my own life
119
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,479
and stop being a...
120
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,120
...nappy-wearing,
breast-fed emperor baby.
121
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:12,559
Are you going to eat that?
122
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:13,600
No.
123
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,759
CRUNCHING
124
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,640
It's got bits of plate in it.
125
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,560
Could you please make me
another one, Mum?
126
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:40,759
Sue!
127
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,279
Oh, shit.
128
00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,159
Sue!
129
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,319
Sue.
130
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,079
Hello, Phyllis. Oh, dear.
131
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,959
I heard about your fall.
132
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,999
Oh, it wasn't a fall. I fainted.
133
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,119
I've had low blood pressure
all my life.
134
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,799
Look at you.
You can't even carry your tray!
135
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:57,879
Let me help you.
136
00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,119
No, I don't need help.
137
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:00,479
You're injured!
138
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,399
There we go.
139
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,919
Oh, it is lucky Michael lives
with you and can help.
140
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:07,799
Otherwise, you would be all alone.
141
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,879
Yes, he's a real godsend.
142
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:13,239
Because you don't have
any grandkids, do you?
143
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,719
At least you get to spoil
your one and only child.
144
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,559
Trudi, I ordered your toastie
on wholemeal bread
145
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:20,960
for your bowel health.
146
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:27,159
Imagine needing one
of those ghastly things.
147
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,959
I've heard stories
that would curl your toes.
148
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,279
Turning on their owners,
spying on them.
149
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:37,959
And some people are doing things
with their robots
150
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,959
that they really
should not be doing.
151
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,159
No!
152
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,319
Mm-hm. Yes.
153
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,239
Oh, we are so lucky.
154
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:52,039
I mean, I have my daughters,
all my grandchildren and Geoffrey.
155
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,319
And you have...
156
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,799
...Michael.
157
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,959
Oh, my God. What?
158
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,439
That woman over there
has just grabbed
159
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:03,199
her robot's penis.
PHYLLIS GASPS
160
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,760
Really?
161
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:09,760
SHE SIGHS
162
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,160
Oh!
163
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,999
Do you want some lunch
before you go?
164
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,879
No, no. I've eaten. Thanks.
165
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,559
You know, Michael, if you were
in a good relationship,
166
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,280
I'd be very happy for you.
167
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,759
What's that on your neck? Hmm?
168
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,279
It's a rash.
169
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,479
Oh, no, no. It's nothing.
170
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,759
Apparently, it's a totally
normal side effect.
171
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,679
Of what?
172
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,519
Oh, I did some clinical trials.
173
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:46,239
It was only five days.
Really good money, though.
174
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,599
Sounds dangerous.
175
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,519
Mum, if it was dangerous,
do you really think
176
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:50,919
the drug companies would do it?
177
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:51,959
PHONE VIBRATES
178
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:52,999
DOORBELL RINGS
179
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,479
Now, the whole reason I did it was
180
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,799
because I wanted to
buy you a present.
181
00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,559
Now, I want you to be safe.
182
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:03,999
And if you fall again.
I'm not going to be here, so...
183
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,239
No!
184
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,799
You got me a robot.
I got you a robot.
185
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,279
Hey! You Michael Bevan?
186
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,839
Take it away, please.
I don't want it.
187
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,239
She does want it. Bring it in.
188
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,840
Mum, I've already paid the deposit.
189
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:19,720
Oh!
190
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,320
SHE PANTS
191
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:29,959
Woo!
192
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,359
It's fragile.
193
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,559
CASS STRAINS
194
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:38,439
OK.
195
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,719
Christ!
196
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,079
SHE STRAINS
197
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:45,160
OK.
198
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,359
I'd forgotten how heavy
these models are.
199
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,040
Oh, here. Let me help.
200
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,999
Thank you.
That's enormously helpful.
201
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,199
MICHAEL CLEARS HIS THROAT
202
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:02,759
Welcome to your Ann Droid Z58/100
Basic Care Model.
203
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,199
She's very easy to operate.
204
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,559
Does have a few dings and scuffs.
205
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,919
After all, she is pre-loved.
206
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,399
Pre-loved? Second-hand.
207
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,079
Yep.
CASS LAUGHS
208
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,159
A little more than second, but hey,
that's why she's such a bargain.
209
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,039
This was a very popular model
back in the day,
210
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,959
in spite of some...
211
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,919
...some pretty catastrophic
teething errors.
212
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,639
Problems that have
all been resolved.
213
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,159
SHE SCOFFS
214
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,240
Yes!
215
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:31,439
OK, so you've got
a 24-month contract.
216
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:35,039
Your 48-hour trial period begins
when you switch her on.
217
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,000
You absolutely cannot have sex
with this model.
218
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,920
Sure. Finally, I'm just going
to need a signature at the bottom.
219
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:48,559
OK, lovely. And can I please
also just get a photo?
220
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:51,079
Yeah, yeah. Mum, Mum!
221
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,679
Oh, no. It's not a fam... OK.
222
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,159
Oh!
SHUTTER CLICKS
223
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,599
Lovely. Great.
224
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,879
Well, enjoy.
225
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,079
If you have any problems, issues,
226
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,919
there's a number on the back.
227
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:08,239
The call centre is open
1pm till 2pm on Saturday.
228
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,999
That's the third Saturday
of every month.
229
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,479
Have a lovely time. Enjoy!
230
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:13,720
DOOR SHUTS
231
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,879
So if you need someone to talk to,
232
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:21,879
or she can help with
shopping, cleaning.
233
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,839
Why couldn't I just have a carer?
234
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,359
What, a human? They cost a fortune!
235
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,399
And what if you fall
on their day off?
236
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,839
This is 24/7.
237
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,119
Phyllis said they spy on you.
238
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:36,279
What happens if they drain
my account?
239
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,519
Who? I don't know!
240
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:43,079
Mum, this means that you can
stay in your home.
241
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,799
I don't want it.
242
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,559
Look, how are you going to manage?
You don't even drive any more.
243
00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:50,040
PHONE RINGS
Oh, sorry.
244
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:53,639
Hi, babe.
245
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,240
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just leaving now.
246
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:57,640
Yeah. It's arrived.
247
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,640
She loves it. She's so happy.
248
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,919
Er... What does it look like?
249
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:07,520
Er...
250
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,999
It's just a woman with
enormous dead eyes.
251
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,879
No, it's not better
looking than you.
252
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,800
You're the most beautiful
woman in the wor...
253
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:20,759
Hello?
254
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:21,960
Babe?
255
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,800
Just give it a go, Mum.
256
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,400
48 hours.
257
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,840
Bye, Mum!
258
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,960
DOORBELL RINGS
Jesus Christ!
259
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,080
Stupid!
260
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,200
Oh, I can't do this!
261
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:23,879
Hey.
262
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,239
Oh! Hi, Eileen.
263
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,799
Heard you fell.
264
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,799
Haven't seen Phyllis this excited
265
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,439
since Deirdre Taylor
got a kidney cyst.
266
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,279
I fainted.
267
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:35,119
You've always had
low blood pressure.
268
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,519
Thank you.
269
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,559
Sally died. Sally Harris?
270
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:40,639
Nah, Sally Whittle. Oh.
271
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,679
Sally Harris is dying,
Sally Whittle is dead.
272
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:44,720
Oh.
273
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,279
Do you fancy a cuppa?
274
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,759
Nah, I'm really busy.
275
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,399
Course I've got time!
276
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,279
I'm 81 and all my friends are dead.
277
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,159
I'm never going to plant this rose.
278
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,560
Ah, just leave it.
279
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,479
Good job you've got Michael.
280
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,920
Oh, he's moved out.
281
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,399
Back to the kung fu slut?
282
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,480
Yeah.
283
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:10,319
Oh, balls to this.
284
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,600
Probably for the best.
285
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,799
It's a bit old to be at home
with Mummy.
286
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,879
Bit Norman Bates.
287
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:17,960
I guess so.
288
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,279
I just feel alone.
289
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,239
I've been alone all my life.
It's not that bad.
290
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,959
Unless you die in a heatwave
like my Uncle Nelson.
291
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,279
He was so bloated by the time
they found him,
292
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,039
he'd trebled in size -
293
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,399
and he was no swimsuit model
to start with.
294
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,479
Hey, what's this?
Oh, Michael got it for me
295
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,679
because he felt guilty
about leaving.
296
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:42,359
Oh!
297
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:43,759
Let's switch it on.
298
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,319
No, no, no, don't!
299
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:46,919
Eileen, I'm sending it back.
300
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,679
You can still send it back.
301
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,239
Come on. Aren't you curious?
302
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,279
No, I'm not, actually.
303
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,360
Oh, Eileen!
304
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,920
It's got a button at the back
of the head.
305
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:09,279
ROBOT BLEEPS
306
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,399
Hello. Bonjour.
307
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,079
Buongiorno.
308
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:14,639
Konnichiwa.
309
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,199
Guten tag.
310
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,599
Hello.
311
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,439
You have chosen English.
312
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,719
Now tell me your name by saying
it into my face holes.
313
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,640
I can't do this, Eileen.
314
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,799
Sue, Sue, Sue.
315
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,399
Nice to meet you,
316
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,159
Sue! Sue! Sue!
317
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,679
My name is Ann Droid.
318
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:37,479
I'm a Z58/100 robot carer.
319
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,999
But you can name me
something more memorable.
320
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,879
Please say the name you'd prefer.
321
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,719
Um...
322
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:47,599
Linda. Hi, Sue! Sue! Sue!
323
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,679
My name is now Linda.
324
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,119
My sister's name.
325
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:53,719
Aw, that's lovely.
326
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,199
I hate my sister. Ah.
327
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,239
SUE GASPS
328
00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,719
What's it doing?
329
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:00,759
What is it doing?
330
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,119
What is it doing? I don't know!
331
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,639
Oh, my God. Ah!
332
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:06,999
What is it doing?
333
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,319
It's putting lasers in my eyes!
334
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:15,839
Imprinting. Imprinting. Imprinting.
335
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,439
Retina scan complete.
336
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,319
I have uploaded your
full medical profile.
337
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,719
I thought it had turned on you.
338
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,159
I thought it was trying to
set fire to your brain.
339
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:25,319
Right.
340
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,559
Best get back to the shop.
341
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:28,759
Don't!
342
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,759
Don't leave me alone with it.
343
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,719
I can't stay here
and play with your robot.
344
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:34,959
I've got to get back to work.
345
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,000
Text me if it starts attacking you.
346
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,639
I just don't want to be
on my own with it.
347
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:51,719
It's creepy!
348
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,879
I mean, look at it.
349
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,519
What is that?
350
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:56,759
Oh!
351
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,159
I found it in donations.
What do you think?
352
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,199
Hi, Sue. You all right?
353
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,959
Can't talk to you with
that on your head.
354
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,719
Tom, you look like an idiot.
355
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:04,959
Hmm.
356
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,119
Sue just got a robot.
She's terrified of it.
357
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,759
Oh, wow!
358
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:13,239
I had no idea that androids
were still being used!
359
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,159
I thought we'd been forced
to decommission them.
360
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:20,399
Roxy, would you like to speak
to a vintage robot?
361
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,599
Eh? I sure would.
362
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,039
Yeah. Well, go on!
363
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,480
METALLIC CLATTERING
364
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,279
Hi!
365
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,759
I'm Roxy.
366
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,679
I help Tom.
367
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,279
Hello! I am Linda.
368
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,519
I help Sue! Sue! Sue!
369
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,639
It is nice to meet you, Linda.
370
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,360
It is nice to meet you, Roxy.
371
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:43,799
I like your top.
372
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,439
Thank you, Linda.
373
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:47,479
It belongs to Tom's wife.
374
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,279
She is dead.
375
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,439
It comforts him to see me wearing
her clothes.
376
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,039
Perhaps I will see you again for...
377
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,719
...incidental social interactions.
378
00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,719
I would enjoy that.
379
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,559
But I am being sent back.
380
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,599
Sue! Sue! Sue!
381
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,279
...thinks I am going to kill her.
382
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,160
Are you going to kill her, Linda?
383
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,439
Yes.
384
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,359
I'm also going to kill Tom.
385
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:14,959
I am joking.
386
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,439
I am also joking.
387
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,239
She won't hurt you.
388
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,599
I'm sure they've sorted
all that out.
389
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,239
I find Roxy enormously helpful.
390
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,439
Oh.
391
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,199
I can't imagine life without her.
392
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,479
You are going to have to go home
at some point, Sue.
393
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,199
I'm closing in ten minutes.
394
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:35,159
Tell Linda to stay in her own room,
if you feel uncomfortable.
395
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:36,200
Fine.
396
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,560
Come on, Linda. We're going.
397
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:44,999
I'm not buying that.
398
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,839
Heated mono slippers
improve circulation,
399
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,319
increase blood flow, repairs
ligament, bone and tissue damage.
400
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,760
All right, then.
401
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,080
I'm not buying the sunglasses.
402
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,679
OK. That'll be 80 quid.
403
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:02,999
How much?!
404
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,759
All right, three.
405
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,399
I don't know the value
of nothing in this shop.
406
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:11,320
Lakme, Flower Duet
by Delibes
407
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,759
ALARM BLARES
Danger, danger, danger!
408
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,559
Danger, danger!
Linda, stop it! Stop it!
409
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,119
You're supposed to stay
in Michael's room!
410
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,359
Falling asleep in the bath
can be lethal.
411
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:31,999
Iconic songstress Whitney Houston
tragically passed away...
412
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,599
For God's sake! I am naked!
413
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,039
Yes.
414
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,199
I can see most of your right breast
415
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,199
and the top of your mons pubis.
416
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,679
Your naked body is not a problem
for me.
417
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,359
But it's a problem for me.
418
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,359
Nobody's seen me naked since Dave!
419
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,759
Here is clothing for your nakedness.
420
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,519
No, don't! It's cashmere! Don't...
421
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,239
...get it wet!
422
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,999
You seem angry.
423
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,319
I will lighten the mood with humour.
424
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,559
Why did the doughnut go to
the dentist?
425
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,439
Just piss off, Linda!
426
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,719
Where would you like me to
piss off to?
427
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,799
Piss off to the room I told you
to stay in.
428
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,759
Only, stay there!
429
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:12,160
I just want a quiet evening alone,
watching the TV!
430
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:16,680
Oh...!
431
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,639
Oh...
432
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,399
The doughnut went to the dentist...
Oh!
433
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,879
...because it needed a filling.
434
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,200
Piss off!
435
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,119
This week's task is all
about using your life,
436
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:34,759
and I know I've got the perfect
recipe to impress Lord Sugar.
437
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,359
I'm going to be his next
business partner, trust me.
438
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,119
I made my first million by 25...
439
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,840
PHONE RINGS
440
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:45,200
Oh!
441
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:55,840
Oh, God.
442
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:58,999
What happened?
443
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,039
You tripped and hit your head.
444
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,239
I assessed you as concussed,
445
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,359
with ligament damage in the neck.
446
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:06,400
Oh.
447
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,639
Oh...
448
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,599
Last thing I remember is...
449
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,159
...nodding off to a task in a bakery.
450
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:19,119
Yes, Lord Sugar said the failure
of the task lay with Kevin.
451
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,759
Kevin. Oh, he was a bully.
452
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,399
Kevin said it was a big mistake,
453
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:27,039
and wished them the best of luck.
454
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,039
But he did not sound sincere.
455
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:30,519
I tripped.
456
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,639
Yes, on the heated mono slipper
I told you to buy.
457
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,159
Mrs Bevan.
458
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,959
Another fall? Ah!
459
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,319
I didn't fall.
460
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,999
I tripped!
461
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:45,399
Over a heated mono slipper that
this IDIOT insisted I get.
462
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,359
Well, I'm sending her back.
463
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,919
I wouldn't do that.
464
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,799
You can't keep me here!
465
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,119
I have a son. I don't live alone!
466
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:55,559
Now, I know that's not true,
467
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,279
because Linda explained everything
about your situation
468
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,039
when you arrive.
469
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,879
You stupid twat.
470
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:06,559
Mrs Bevan, this stupid twat is
the reason I'm discharging you.
471
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,119
Oh, uh...
472
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,559
Sorry, Linda.
Thank... thank you very much.
473
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,359
Stupid twat.
474
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:16,319
Now, I download all your home care
information pon Linda.
475
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,159
So, you can go home.
476
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,879
She's doing a great job.
477
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,120
Mm...
478
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:38,880
Oh.
479
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,599
No, mine's the green one.
480
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,359
The purple one is Michael's.
481
00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,759
No, it was Dave's.
482
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,759
Would you like me to throw
it away to clear space?
483
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,280
No! No, don't touch anything!
484
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,919
By scanning your retina,
I have measured your dopamine
485
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:11,439
and endorphin levels.
486
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,319
You are sad.
487
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:14,879
Music might improve your mood.
488
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,119
MUSIC BLARES
489
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:17,439
♪ If it hadn't been for
Cotton-Eye Joe
490
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:18,879
♪ I'd been married long
time ago... ♪
491
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,119
PHONE RINGS
492
00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:22,079
No, no. It's Michael. Shut it off.
493
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:23,319
Hello?
494
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:24,759
Mum! Mum, are you OK? I just...
495
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,359
I just saw your missed calls.
496
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:27,559
Oh, I tripped.
497
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:28,959
Oh, ANOTHER fall?
498
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,439
No, I tripped.
499
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,279
It's that idiot robot's fault.
500
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,679
She insisted on getting me
a mono slipper.
501
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:35,959
Tell him.
502
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,079
The mono slipper was my idea.
503
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,559
What's a mono slipper?
504
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,719
Designed to cradle the feet
in pure bliss,
505
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,159
the mono slipper boasts
a luxurious fleece fabric
506
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,599
that feels irresistibly
soft and cosy.
507
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,559
It does sound soft and cosy.
508
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,599
She put me in hospital
with ligament damage!
509
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,479
And a mild concussion!
510
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,519
It just sounds like an accident.
511
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,759
It's a good job that
you weren't alone.
512
00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,999
Mum, please consider keeping her.
513
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,359
Oh...!
514
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:04,480
Why can't anybody understand?!
515
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,120
I miss him!
516
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:15,840
I'm...
517
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,160
I miss... miss him
every...
518
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,879
...every day.
519
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,319
Oh...
520
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,319
OK, OK, OK. Look, I'll...
521
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,599
I'll book it for tomorrow.
522
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:31,760
OK.
523
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,639
Well, see you soon.
524
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,760
Yeah, sure. OK. Bye, Mum.
525
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,960
GEARS WHIR
526
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,879
Would you like to talk?
527
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,720
Talking improves mental health.
528
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,759
You're a robot.
Yes, I am a robot.
529
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,120
SUE EXHALES
530
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,480
It just seems like...
531
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,920
...everything in my life has been
taken away.
532
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,120
Dave's gone.
533
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,040
Michael's left.
534
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,640
I've no grandkids.
535
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:21,599
Soon, I'll lose my independence,
and then...
536
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,319
...I'll probably lose my marbles.
537
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:26,279
I can help you find your marbles.
538
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:27,759
Ha!
539
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,360
SUE LAUGHS
540
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,559
I don't...
541
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:39,280
...know how I'm going to do this
last bit...
542
00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:42,759
...alone.
543
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:46,920
But whatever life I've got left...
544
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:52,640
...I do not wish to spend it
with a robot.
545
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,279
I know you don't understand.
546
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:57,920
Nobody does.
547
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,920
I am fired, like Kevin.
548
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:13,000
Thank you for this opportunity,
and I wish you the best of luck.
549
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,960
Unlike Kevin, I am sincere.
550
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,159
SUE GROANS
551
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,319
You sound like
you are struggling.
552
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:37,599
Is your head stuck inside
a pullover?
553
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,519
No, I can manage on my own!
554
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,159
Do not be embarrassed,
Sue! Sue! Sue!
555
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,439
I've already seen your mons pubis.
556
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,279
Oh...
557
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,320
Just leave me alone, Linda!
558
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,240
Oh...!
SUE GRUMBLES
559
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,120
Only You
by Yazoo
560
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,279
Start search.
561
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,479
How to stop feeling sad
about a dead husband.
562
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,599
♪ Looking from a window above
563
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,399
♪ It's like a story of love... ♪
564
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:33,919
Restart search.
565
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,799
Why are humans sad when a life ends?
566
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,519
♪ Came back only yesterday
567
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,519
♪ I'm moving farther away
568
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,559
♪ Want you near me
569
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,119
♪ All I needed... ♪
570
00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:48,639
Restart search.
571
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,199
What is the meaning of a human life?
572
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,679
♪ All I need is for another day
573
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:58,559
♪ And all I ever knew
574
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,160
♪ Only you... ♪
575
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:12,160
Linda.
576
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,280
PHONE RINGS
577
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,080
Linda, it's time!
578
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:29,919
Hello. Hi.
579
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,039
You, uh, want to return your robot?
Yes, please.
580
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,479
Yeah, well, that's what the trial
period is for, you know.
581
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:35,959
They're not for everyone.
582
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,319
Sue! Sue! Sue!
583
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,999
Your next dose of pain relief
medication is to be taken
584
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,239
after lunch.
Oh, right. Thank you.
585
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,800
All right, then. In you go.
586
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,959
Your lunch is in the oven -
toad in the hole, your favourite.
587
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,439
How did you know that
was my favourite?
588
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,439
You had a massive dopamine spike
when you saw them in the freezer.
589
00:27:58,440 --> 00:27:59,999
Oh, this one's a real chatterbox.
590
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,519
I hope you find happiness,
Sue! Sue! Sue!
591
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,759
Hey, you don't have any wet wipes,
do you?
592
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,880
It's got dirt all over its hands.
593
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,799
You've planted...
594
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:12,359
...my rose.
595
00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:14,959
You miss David, and David is dead.
596
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,599
That is a David Rose
to honour dead David,
597
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,599
the owner of the purple robe.
598
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,239
That's right.
599
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:22,679
I understand...
600
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:24,399
Sue! Sue! Sue!
601
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:28,399
...it was not a robot you were to be
sharing the rest of your life with.
602
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,280
It was dead David.
603
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,439
Linda...
604
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,120
...step out of the box.
605
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:39,080
I want you to stay.
606
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:42,759
I've changed my mind.
607
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:44,319
Yeah, I know. I've been listening.
608
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,439
In that case, I'll just
need your signature.
609
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,439
Lovely.
610
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,959
And, uh, now can I just get a photo?
611
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,960
Yep. Got it.
612
00:28:58,120 --> 00:28:59,920
Thank... thank you.
613
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,039
Did you know toad in the hole
is not made from toads?
614
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:05,240
I did.
41396
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