All language subtitles for [SubtitleTools.com] Kombucha.2025.2160p.4K.WEB.x265.10bit.AAC5.1-[YTS.GG - YTS.BZ]_track3_[eng]

Mom.

Rachel, where are you?

I'm still at work.

We're supposed to get dinner before the show.

I had to stay for a late meeting.

Again?

You know, if you don't stop working so much,

it's going to kill you.

Mom, they're gonna replace me.

Are you kidding me?

After all you've done for them, then I'd say

good riddance to them.

Rachel, are you okay?

Mom, I gotta go.

Rachel, no, no, no.

There you are.

Hey, Kelsey.

Everyone's waiting for you.

I just need a little liquid courage.

It's just a routine pulse check with HR.

What do you think they're gonna do? Come on.

Rachel, have a seat.

Are we ready to get started?

You know what?

I quit.

Rachel?

No, no, no! No, no, no, no!

No, no, no, Rachel!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, that's it for me tonight, y'all. Thank you.

Yeah. Oh my God, babe, you did so good tonight.

-Thanks. -Yeah.

What is it?

That record label guy didn't show.

Oh.

It was all for nothing.

I'm sorry, Luke. It's worth it to me to see you play.

Where does that get me?

Luke, my man.

Andy? Is that you?

It's me.

What the fuck?

What's up, man? Good to see ya.

-How are you? -I'm great.

This is my girlfriend, Elyse.

Hey, what's going on?

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. I'm Andy.

Yeah, Andy and I, we were in a band together

back in school.

Pocket change.

Whoa.

Uh, yeah. That was the band's name.

Gotcha.

Can I get you a beer?

Yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah.

-See ya. -Be right back. Yeah.

So I was in LA for a few years,

and I was with some promising bands, but they never took off.

And eventually I just got worn out from the grind.

It's funny, though. I don't miss it.

Really?

Yeah.

Man, gotta say, it's weird seeing you

wind up in the corporate world.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

But this company I'm with,

it's, like, a perfect fit for people like us.

Smart, creative types with unrealized ambition

who just don't know what they're doing with their lives.

Okay.

And I'm a lot happier knowing I don't have to scramble for gigs

just to make rent every month.

And the whole frustration with not making it in music,

that's all gone.

Well, hey, man. I'm happy for you.

We're always looking for new people.

Oh.

I can put in a good word for you.

Uh, what's the pay like?

Entry level starts at 100K.

No experience required.

Mm-hmm.

It's good to see you, Luke.

Yeah, yeah. You too.

Think about it.

Babe, are you coming to bed soon?

Yeah, as soon as I finish this.

Luke, I've got to be up in five hours.

Yeah, I'll be quick.

Do you think you'll follow up with Andy about that job?

Uh, is this your way of telling me you think I should?

I don't know, it just sounded like a good opportunity,

don't you think?

And what about my music?

You could still do it on the side.

How much drawing have you done

since you started working at the lab?

I'm gonna get back to it soon, okay?

Yeah. You've been saying that for years.

I haven't really had the time, you know.

But my job is what lets me afford this apartment,

which you seem to be enjoying more than yours right now.

Okay.

I'm sorry, I just-- I think I'm in a bad mood

from the record label guy flaking, okay?

Okay. It's not just tonight, though, is it?

What do you mean?

Look, I get that music is your dream,

but it doesn't seem to make you happy.

It really just makes you hard to be around.

I can't help it that I want more out of life than...

this.

This?

I'm sorry. Do you have any idea how hurtful

that is to say to me?

I didn't mean you, obviously.

No, it's not obvious, Luke.

You know, I think I need a break from you right now.

I think you should go back to your place.

Come on. Let's just-- Let's talk about this, okay?

El!

Fuck. Fuck.

Okay.

Fuck.

-Hi. Welcome. -Hey.

Welcome to the team. It's so nice to meet you.

Thank you. Nice to meet you as well.

Have a look around if you'd like.

Wow.

Can I grab you anything? Water? Kombucha?

I'm good, but thank you.

Someone will be with you shortly.

Sounds good.

"Success starts with a symbiotic culture,

like our original SCOBY for our designer kombucha."

Ugh. It's like living mucus.

She's beautiful, isn't she?

Uh, yeah, you could say that.

You know, legend has it she's descended from a SCOBY

the Dalai Lama gave Jesuit missionaries over 300 years ago.

Or maybe the Jesuits stole it from the Dalai Lama.

I can never remember.

Kelsey Rhodes, managing director of our consulting team.

Luke Merritt. Nice to meet you.

Shall we?

Yeah.

So, this is our space.

Thank you.

Please, sit.

Yeah.

We are so thrilled to have you join the Symbio team.

Oh, wait, I thought--

Don't I have to, like, interview?

Andy's recommendation is enough for me.

We like to start with a one- month probationary period,

but candidates with referrals almost always blend right in.

You can start today, assuming that our terms

are to your approval.

Uh, yeah. Wow, that's--

This is amazing.

Excellent. We can finish the paperwork later.

Now, how much has Andy told you about what we do here?

Uh, not much.

He just said this is a great place for the smart,

creative type.

Mhm. One of the great tragedies of our time is how

the underemployed liberal arts majors are toiling away

in menial jobs, distracted by dreams of stardom,

when they really have no chance of success.

Meanwhile, the corporate world

is run by finance and engineering majors

with zero imagination or empathy.

But we've cracked the code on how creatives can thrive

and inject new life into stagnant businesses.

And we practice what we preach.

Okay, so what exactly will I be doing?

As a culture consultant, you'll diagnose the deficiencies

in our clients' existing cultures.

Then you'll prescribe a blend of our proprietary work rituals

to suit their needs and, of course,

sell them on our secret weapon.

Secret weapon?

You've already seen it.

Our in-house, designer kombucha,

which started as someone's fun side project until we realized

the incredible benefits.

Imagine:

Every employee working with peak energy and laser focus,

with no jitters or crashing.

Their gut biome and body chemistry perfectly synced

from drinking kombucha designed just for their company.

Team unity at a cellular level, a true symbiosis

between employees and their organization--

no matter what major they had in college.

But what if they don't like kombucha?

Believe it or not,

we've never run into that problem before.

Everybody gets on board eventually.

Do you partake?

I don't. Uh...

Those floating SCOBY things kind of freak me out.

Okay, well, don't worry.

You'll get over that.

Do you know what SCOBY stands for?

Uh, no.

Symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast.

A natural, harmonious partnership.

Really nothing to be afraid of.

I think I'll stick with this.

We'll see about that.

So, this is your desk.

Oop. Sorry.

This was supposed to be cleared out.

All yours. Andy will be your onboarding buddy,

and he can fill you in on your first assignment. Andy?

On it, boss.

Ma'am, you can't be in here.

No, I want to talk to her now.

You...

You killed my daughter.

Excuse me.

Hi. We need security in the lobby right now.

You. You're next.

This place is cursed!

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Get out while you still can!

Okay. That's enough.

Don't touch me!

Man.

Downtown just keeps getting crazier and crazier, huh?

Yeah.

Let's get you started on this pitch deck.

Oh.

Okay.

Calling without a text first. That's bold.

I wanted to hear your voice.

And to tell you,

I decided to take the job at Andy's company.

Oh. You did?

Yeah.

Wow.

Is that a good wow?

Like we should celebrate tonight wow?

I'm really happy for you.

I just need some time to think about things.

Yeah. Okay.

Absolutely. I understand.

I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing.

I'm just still at work

finishing up this report that's going to

shut down a construction site due to toxic mold.

Oh, fuck.

These mobbed-up construction guys might make me disappear.

Maybe you could leverage your findings

into a lucrative bribe instead.

Look at you, sounding like a business bro already.

See, look, I'm a changed man.

All right, well, I gotta go. Bye.

Yeah, all right. Bye.

Fuck.

Gabi.

Hey!

Yeah. How you doing?

Oh, you went corporate, huh?

Hey.

You know, health insurance is a thing. I get it.

Yes, it is.

So, you done with music or?

Uh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not done with music.

Still going to make music. Just taking a little break right now.

I hope so. You have something special.

Thanks, Gabi.

It means a lot coming from you.

-Well. -All right. I should get going.

Uh, are you gonna... spread some love around?

-Oh, shit. Absolutely. -If you feel like it.

No, I feel like it. I'm just not used to having money on me.

-Oh, new feeling? -Yeah, absolutely.

Okay, well, hope we play together soon.

Yeah. Me too. Good luck with this.

Thanks.

Hey, Luke.

Hey.

Hey, so the client meeting

got pushed up to 9:00 tomorrow morning,

so I need to see where you're at on that pitch deck now.

Oh.

Can't let go of those music dreams, huh?

We don't need bums here.

Come on. Get out of here!

- Get out of here. - Ugh.

It's not working out too well for her, huh?

Okay, I'm leaving.

I'll get that pitch deck to you ASAP.

I work fast when I get my coffee in me.

Ah! You know what?

Now would be a great time to try Mother's Secret.

It works wonders.

Yeah, I'm just really not a kombucha guy.

Well, you know, there's no SCOBY in bottled kombucha,

if that's what's stopping you.

I'll stick with my coffee. Thanks.

You know what?

This is not a great start to your probationary period.

I'm going to do the deck myself.

Uh...

And Luke?

Schedule a performance check-in with me for tomorrow morning.

Performance check-in? What happened?

Dude, all I said was I didn't feel like I wanted

to drink the kombucha.

I didn't know it was gonna be that big of a deal.

I thought it was silly at first, too,

but then I tried it, and I haven't missed a KPI since.

The idea of it is just so gross.

You know, I pulled a lot of strings to get you this job.

You're really making me look bad.

I'll think about it. Okay?

You made the right choice.

Oh, hey. Um...

Yeah, I was gonna do the do.

Go on, take a sip.

It's just so fun seeing people's first reactions.

Uh, okay. Sure.

Look. I actually used to be an actress.

Isn't that silly? But I could never make it work financially.

So then I committed to Symbio,

and this became my dream.

Maybe you'll survive here after all.

Kelsey, are you okay?

Yes. It's just allergies.

Back to work.

Okay.

All right.

Oh...

Holy shit. This stuff really works.

Hey.

Maybe I was wrong about you.

Luke, do you have a minute to chat about the deck you sent?

The Lumanova deck that you sent me yesterday.

Oh, don't worry, it's just working its magic

in your microbiome.

Uh, excuse me, I need to--

It might be rough for a couple days, but you'll get used to it.

Luke, Luke! There you are.

Kelsey's freaking out out there, man.

Something about your pitch deck.

Did she say what the problem was?

No. You better get out there.

Okay, okay.

Gotcha.

Luke, you have already hit a milestone that lets you

participate in one of our very most important rituals.

Your incredible pitch deck has put us over the top

for a half-million-dollar contract with Lumanova.

So the honor is yours to ring the gong.

I'm okay. Thank you, though.

Luke.

Luke, Luke, Luke.

Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke!

Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke!

Psst. And let's not forget the icing on the cake.

Your 1% share of the deal that you just landed us.

Because at Symbio...

Serve the job, and the job serves you.

5K for a PowerPoint?

Mm-hmm. Crazy, right?

And the work is actually kind of interesting too. It's basically

making dysfunctional corporate cultures more cohesive.

Okay. How does that work?

Yeah. So, we have all these rituals we've developed

that help bring teams together.

It's actually kind of fun.

Rituals? Sounds a little culty.

I haven't even told you about the kombucha yet.

What?

Yeah, so, each client gets their own

unique strain that helps everyone get in sync.

It's all over the office, too.

Are you telling me you drink kombucha now?

Who even are you?

I mean, I was pretty skeptical about it at first,

but then I tried it and got crazy productive.

It did give me a terrible case of the shits, though.

That can happen when you introduce new probiotics.

Mm-hmm.

Well, how's your boss?

Um, Kelsey. Yeah.

She's kind of intense,

-but I like her. -Okay.

There's one weird thing, though.

Uh...

My first day, she, like, took me to that desk that had,

like, a memorial for the girl that had it before me.

Oh my God. Do you, like, know what happened?

No. But then a crazy lady who must have been her mom

came in screaming about how Kelsey killed her.

Wait. Your boss got accused of murder?

Luke, this company sounds kind of fucked up.

You wanted me to take this job,

and now you're giving me shit about it?

I can't win with you.

Look, I just want you to be happy, okay?

But that doesn't mean you have to work at this place.

I am happy working there.

If you say so.

Here you go. Enjoy.

Thank you.

Luke, I know this is your first engagement,

but I want you to co-lead this one with Andy.

It'll mean some extra hours,

but that's the fastest way to learn.

Are you up for that?

Definitely.

Terrific. Then let's check in on your diagnostic plan tomorrow.

All right. I'll be back in five.

I'm gonna grab some more 'booch.

Uh, I'll come with you.

Thanks.

Yo. When you started drinking this stuff,

did you get any weird side effects?

Side effects? Like what?

Amazing boners?

What? No, no, I mean, like, stomach stuff.

Weird dreams.

I had really weird shits early on,

but since then, I've felt terrific.

I haven't even had a sick day yet.

Yeah, plus, amazing boners.

No weird dreams, though?

I can't even remember the last time I had a dream.

Oh, shit.

You good?

Oh, yeah. I guess kombucha doesn't cure allergies.

-Am I right? -Uh-huh.

-I'm gonna go clean up. -Okay.

I'll see you in a few. Yeah.

Oh...

Oh!

Whoa, fuck!

Tammy? I'm Elyse.

Want some honey-garlic?

It's good for the immune system, and it keeps the scaries away.

No. I'm good, thank you.

Can you tell me more about what happened to your daughter?

Rachel.

She was a theater kid who moved to the city after college

and got some parts in plays and did some local commercials

but always had to wait tables just to stay afloat.

And I told her that she needed to get a job with benefits

before she turned 26. My insurance wouldn't cover her.

So she ended up at Symbio.

I was thrilled at first, but then I started noticing

changes.

Like what kind of changes?

The changes seemed good initially.

She seemed motivated, really interested in her work,

um, became a health nut,

kept trying to convince me to start drinking kombucha.

But then she became more and more distant.

On edge.

And she didn't want to talk about work much anymore.

What do you think happened?

I think she found out what they were up to

and wouldn't go along with it.

She drank a cup full of bleach instead of joining them.

Did you go to the police?

They were no help.

Just said it was suicide.

And then Symbio twisted everything around on me too.

How?

They gave me this.

They said that what Rachel was struggling with

was her relationship with me.

But we were always so close

until they pulled her away from me.

And she always called me "Mom," not "Mother."

I'm so sorry.

I think they're a bunch of filthy bloodsuckers

draining the life from their employees.

It sounds like a toxic place to work.

No. They are literal bloodsuckers.

Vampires.

Um, I have to go.

I know what it sounds like.

And there are things I can't explain,

like how they go out in the daylight.

But I looked at that boss bitch, Kelsey, right in the eye,

and I've never been as sure of anything.

She's not human.

Look, thank you for your time.

This boyfriend of yours...

Do everything you can to get him to quit.

And if he won't,

tell him not to drink the kombucha.

I think they lace it with something.

Now, we found that the biggest gap in their culture

were around bringing their whole selves to work

and thinking outside the box.

They also had substandard rates of circling back.

And low circle-back rates just kill morale.

We think that adding rituals of enforced vulnerability

at these key points in their workflow

will help maximize psychic transference across the team.

Uh, any feedback before the presentation?

Yeah, I have some feedback.

My only concern is that you have set the bar so high,

they're going to expect a grand slam on everything from now on.

Great work, everybody.

See you back here at two for the call.

All right.

Hey, Luke. Do you have a minute?

Uh, yeah.

What's up?

Your progress since you've joined us

has been simply astounding.

Thank you. I hate to admit it,

but things really started clicking for me

after I started drinking this.

And I love to say, "I told you so."

Okay.

But seriously,

your performance has me thinking about a promotion for you.

-Oh, wow. Really? -Mm-hmm.

I mean, that's amazing.

But, if I'm going to champion you at this early stage,

I need to know a little more about you.

What's your favorite bar in the city?

Uh, Maria's, I guess.

Great. Let's go tonight,

and we can talk about what your future might look like here.

It's a date.

Wait, I didn't mean a date. I meant, like, a calendar date.

No, no. It's okay. It's okay.

I won't tell HR.

Yet.

Ready when you are.

Wow. You look--

Thanks. Shall we?

Yeah.

Oh, sorry. One second.

Hey. Uh, what is it?

Hey, you said we could talk today.

Yeah, I have a work thing I need to go to.

Well, where is it? I'll meet you afterwards.

What? No, no, no.

Luke, it's important.

It's about Symbio. We need to talk tonight.

Uh, it's at Maria's.

I'll text you when I'm done, okay?

Okay. Talk to you later.

Everything okay?

All good. Let's get out of here.

Okay.

Luke, you made it back!

Hey. Yeah.

Guess you're not playing tonight.

No, just enjoying the show.

Have a great set, Gabi.

Always do.

It's so fun seeing where you came from.

Already feels like a past life.

Wait. Stop. Is this what I think it is?

You might be more hooked than me.

Maybe.

Uh, I'm gonna use the bathroom.

-Okay. -Be right back.

What are you doing here, El? I said I was gonna text you.

You told me you had a work thing,

then I find you here on a date.

It is a work thing.

That's my boss, Kelsey.

She basically forced me to be here.

So what is so urgent for you to show up here like this?

So I did some research on Symbio and then I found Tammy,

that dead girl's mom.

So then I met up with her.

-You met up with her? -Yeah.

She seems crazy.

Okay, she's out there, but her daughter drank bleach

instead of going along with whatever shit Symbio was doing.

Luke, that place is dangerous.

You have to quit.

Okay, now you seem crazy.

I'm just--I'm worried about you.

El, it's just a company.

All right. It's a little weird, sure,

but it's not a cult or whatever you're imagining.

It's just projects, meetings, emails, reports. That's it.

What's that?

It's nothing. It's just some kombucha.

Tammy said that's how they lure people in.

That shit is addictive, Luke.

That's ridiculous. Okay.

It's no different than drinking coffee or an energy drink,

but it's more, uh, healthy and natural.

Luke, what the fuck?

You were talking then you just, like, disappeared.

I don't know. I think I just--

Oh my God, your eye.

Oh, uh, it's... It's just allergies probably.

You have to stop drinking that shit.

Gotta go.

Hold on. I'm trying to talk to you.

You broke up with me, okay? So just fuck off, please.

Fuck!

Hey.

So who was that?

My ex.

Oh. That's awkward.

You wanna get out of here?

Absolutely.

I've got the normal kombucha.

See some yeast, a little bacteria.

Looks normal.

Now the Symbio kombucha.

Whoa.

My God, are those...

So this is my place.

Is that your ex again?

Yeah.

You want to get rid of her, right?

Uh...

Luke, there's blood in the kombucha.

You've gotta stop drinking it.

Oh my God. Hey.

You sound really crazy right now,

and Luke's pretty freaked out,

so please never contact him again. Okay?

What? No.

She won't bother you again.

Fuck.

This feels familiar.

You know, H.R. would kill me for saying this,

but the whole work-life balance thing is a crock of shit.

If you love what you do, then it should seep into

every aspect of your life.

So when I'm here I can focus on work.

And when I'm at work, I feel like I'm at home.

Yeah.

Shall we?

Cheers.

I have a confession to make.

Uh, what's that?

Don't be freaked out,

but I filled out a relationship disclosure form

before we went out tonight.

Just... I mean, I didn't submit it,

but, I don't know, I just felt like

maybe there was something between us.

I don't know. That's so embarrassing.

No, I think you're really amazing.

Really?

Good. I think you're amazing too.

You make me want to be a mother.

Uh, um... what?

Is this okay?

Uh, yeah.

Oh.

Then give me your seed.

Give the seed to Mother.

Oh...

Awesome. Great job, Luke.

Kelsey?

Hey, uh, what are you doing?

Are you okay?

What the fuck?

Mother will be so happy.

Look who finally woke up.

Uh, where is it?

Where's what?

The...

The baby.

The what?

This morning...

Hey.

Yeah.

I think maybe my dirty talk got in your head a little bit.

It's okay. It's all in good fun.

Why don't you go home and clean up?

Do you want a smoothie for the road?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure.

Hey, stranger.

-Hey, hey. What's up? -Hi.

Uh-oh. Did I catch you reminiscing about last night?

Cause that's all I've been doing this morning.

Uh, yeah. You caught me.

Well, I've got some exciting news.

I floated your promotion to the CEO.

She's going to be in town this weekend.

She wants to meet you on Saturday.

How's that sound?

-That sounds good. Great. -I know, right?

Can you put together a quick presentation for her?

Yeah, I'll get right on that.

Ahh. Awesome.

Hey. We're going to do great things together.

Luke, Luke.

Luke, what do you think?

About what?

About slide four. Should we cut it?

Uh, sure. I think we should cut it.

You okay, Luke? You look a little queasy.

No. All right. Uh, yeah. Um...

I'll... I'll be back in a few.

All right. Come on.

Get it together.

You're okay.

Focus, focus, focus.

Okay. Okay. Come on, come on, come on.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh, what? Are you okay? What's going on?

Uh, I don't know. I think I saw something.

I'm okay, I think.

Okay. Well, you don't look so good.

So why don't you take a car home and rest up

and drink some kombucha? That'll sort you out.

And we can meet back here tomorrow morning.

Okay.

Back to work, everyone.

Luke, hey.

Shit, you don't look good.

Oh my God. Okay.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah. I'm good.

I just-- I got a car.

-This is them. -Okay, I got it, I got it.

Okay, okay.

Get in.

Go home and get some rest.

No job is worth dying for. Okay?

Hey, what's going on back there?

You better not be taking a shit.

I already cleaned up one shit this week.

It's a $100 fee if you shit in my car, buddy.

Mother can't wait to hold you.

Okay, okay.

Okay. Okay.

Uh...

What are you doing here?

You told me to fuck off, and then your new boss or girlfriend

or whatever blocks me.

And you think--you think you can just show up here?

Please, I--

I need your help, El.

Please.

Yeah. Here. Come inside.

And I saw him again in the car.

This other me.

I think I know what they're gonna do now.

They're gonna replace me.

You were right.

It's the kombucha.

Can you say something?

So it's not just addictive then,

it's giving you paranoid hallucinations.

You don't believe me.

I believe that stuff is poisoning you.

But, Luke, the idea that there's another you

out there that's going to replace you...

That's not real.

We need to get you to a hospital.

No. Then they'll know where to find me.

This is the only place I feel safe.

If your withdrawal is anything like detoxing from opioids,

you are gonna be sweating and puking your ass off.

So I'll get you some chicken soup and electrolytes

to keep you hydrated.

And then some antibiotic cream for the sores.

Thanks, El. I mean it.

You know, this doesn't mean we're back together.

I know, I know.

Maybe after you get straightened out,

we can talk about it.

I'd like that.

Oh, if you're gonna puke, do it in the trash can.

Ahh!

-Hey. -It's okay, Luke. I invited her.

I just need to check your eyes.

You're her mom, aren't you?

I remember you from the office. Oh--

And they gave you Rachel's desk like she was never there.

This is Tammy.

Okay. Yeah, well, I'm sorry what--

about what happened to her.

Okay.

Well, the good news is I don't think you're a vampire yet,

but you might be turning.

What? Vampire?

Can we cool it with the vampire talk?

You're the one who found blood in the kombucha.

Blood?!

So what's your theory?

Well, I don't know that I have a better one,

but he's been talking about Mother when he's sleeping.

Like, "Don't let Mother take me."

Stuff like that.

Before Rachel died,

she was writing all kinds of fucked-up stuff about Mother,

and that bitch Kelsey said it was about me,

but I know you don't mean me.

So who's Mother?

I don't know.

Ahh!

It's the scoby.

Shit. That's right.

I've heard people call it the kombucha mother.

Yeah, they call the kombucha Mother's Secret.

A head vampire. That's a SCOBY, huh?

Oh, oh, oh. Ah!

Okay. Uh, something doesn't feel right.

I've got something that might help.

Unless you have any other ideas.

Garlic's good for the stomach.

And if you keep it down, at least we know

you're not a vampire.

Okay. Yeah, that smell makes me nauseous.

Just try a little.

Can you back off?

We need to know.

It was Mother. It was Mother.

She was calling to me.

Well, what did she say?

I don't know. I don't know.

It wasn't like words or like ones I could understand.

It was just like a feeling.

She was telling me to come home.

This doesn't sound like normal withdrawal.

It's like he's got a,

like, a neural bond with this thing.

Please help her get her out of my head.

We need to go to the source.

-We've got to kill the mother. -Yeah.

That's our best chance of saving you.

Yeah. How?

- Well... - Wait, I've got an idea.

So even though this is some fucking mutant SCOBY,

it's still mostly just bacteria and yeast,

and we can kill that.

Your lab.

Hey!

You've reached Luke's voicemail.

Leave a message after the beep.

Are you sure you're okay with this?

Yeah. Yeah, it's the only way.

At least like this,

I know I won't be able to get any kombucha.

We'll be back as soon as we can.

Be careful, okay?

We will.

Are you ready to go to the lab?

No. Um, I'll meet you at Symbio.

I need to stop by my place first.

Are you serious?

All right, but one hour. Don't be late.

Okay.

All right.

Luke.

Luke?

Luke!

Luke, it's me, Kelsey.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Luke, are you home?

Where are you?

Jackpot.

For the bacteria.

And for the yeast.

Tammy, you're late.

Sorry. Took longer than I thought

to round everything up.

What is this?

Insurance.

For the last time, they're not vampires, okay?

Luke sure didn't seem to like that garlic in his face.

Yeah. Did you see what was crawling out of his mouth?

Can you just ditch the bag and let's go inside?

I'm not ditching anything.

You might think it's stupid, but I'm the one who lost

my daughter to these fuckers.

And I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make sure they don't

get anybody else, including Luke.

No matter how ridiculous I look.

All right, fine.

We try my way first, though. Okay?

-Okay. -All right.

All right.

Come on.

Oh. Remember to be quiet.

The CEO is supposed to come in later,

so there's people working.

What kind of asshole works on a Saturday?

It's an ugly mother.

Let's start with the biocide.

Fungicide. Quick!

Hey!

What are you doing?

We have to get out of here.

There's gotta be another way out.

I'll hold them off.

No, I'm not leaving you.

I'm warning you.

Come any closer and things are gonna get serious.

Go now!

No, stop!

Or I'll unleash the power of Christ on your ass.

Oh, hate to burst your bubble,

but the power of Christ can't hurt us.

Ow!

Power of Christ for the win.

Grab her!

You took Rachel.

But at least I'll die knowing I got your precious Mother.

There's just one problem.

That isn't Mother.

What?

Tammy!

You. You're with me.

You. Clean this mess up.

She's over here somewhere.

Oh.

I see you've met Mother.

She's over here!

I miss my old life.

I just want to make music.

I just want to play music.

Come on. You got this.

Elyse? Tammy? Is that you?

Aww.

Hi, Luke.

You're supposed to be at work.

I'm not... I'm not coming back. I quit.

Aw. Your resignation is not accepted.

You did something to me!

To my mind, my body.

And that fucking baby...

That fucking worm baby. That was real, wasn't it?

All I did was give you a chance at an extraordinary life.

To be a better version of yourself.

To be part of a team working in perfect harmony.

Yeah, is this your idea of a better version of myself?

Huh?

You don't see the bigger picture.

But I'll help you.

Your body is almost ready.

All you need is one more glass of Mother's Secret.

We got rid of it all.

It's all gone. And I'm not fucking you.

Don't worry. I always bring some with me.

Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

Fresh always tastes best.

It's your choice.

Join us and live a life you never could have dreamed of,

or go back to being a fucking loser.

Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

It's your choice.

Mm-hmm.

Doesn't that feel better?

Let's get you ready for that promotion.

It's too bad she wasn't Mother's type.

You, on the other hand...

Don't worry. Everything's fine.

Come on.

There he is. The man of the hour.

Congrats on the promotion, buddy.

Couldn't have done it without you.

Luke, what are you doing?

You said the CEO would be here.

She is.

You already know.

No, no, no, no, no.

No...

You're not gonna want to miss this.

She's been taking care of our baby.

Do you want to meet him?

What the fuck is this?

Aww. Are you scared?

You can join us if you like.

Mother likes you. You must have that creative spark.

All you have to do is drink.

I'm not drinking that shit.

Okay, well, whether you do or not,

Mother can make use of you.

What are you gonna do to him?

We all repay the gift Mother gave us.

What do you mean, "repay"?

Luke, you don't have to do this!

Luke, no, please!

Let's get him started on the reintegration process.

Mother needs time to feed and recuperate.

Can I watch this one?

Uh, yes, reintegration it is.

It actually feels really great when she absorbs you.

It's like crawling back into the womb.

But you'll find out soon enough.

Ugh.

Hey, could you go grab him a mug?

His fine motor isn't quite there yet.

You bet.

Oh.

You'll feel like yourself soon.

Luke, please! Snap out of it!

Oh, oh...

Ah! Luke!

Come on! Hold on!

Luke!

Oh, okay.

-Are you okay? -Yeah.

All right, let's get the fuck out of here.

Better. Again.

Let me circle back to you on that.

You'll be leading calls in no time.

Keep practicing. I'm gonna go serve Mother her second course.

Let me circle back to you on that.

Let me circle back to you on that.

They got out.

Mother must be starving.

Find them now!

What's wrong?

He can feel where I am.

Go, go, go, go.

I'll draw him away. You go get help.

What? No. We're leaving together.

I have to end this.

I'll be right behind you. Let's go, let's go.

Come on, asshole.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Where do you think you're going?

Oh, ahh, ah!

What did you do to me?

God!

Oh my God. Garlic kills bacteria and yeast.

You were right, Tammy.

Luke!

Hey, asshole!

It's you or me.

So let's figure this shit out.

Get out of here now.

We're ending this.

What are you even fighting for, huh?

You were miserable in your old life

with your pathetic dreams!

Ahh!

I got to play music that made people feel something.

What are you gonna do with my life? Huh?

I'll unlock synergies you couldn't possibly imagine!

What the fuck does that mean?

This should tide you over till your next meal.

No, no! You'll kill her!

I could have created so much value.

I should have never referred you.

Oh, oh,

oh, oh...

In private equity, you try your best.

You do your due diligence

on companies that you might want to invest in,

and sometimes you miss something.

Fair to say, with Symbio, we missed something.

Understatement.

Yeah.

Obviously, we'd like to keep what happened quiet,

and we'd appreciate your cooperation with that.

To make it worth your while,

we'd like to offer you both jobs with BC Ventures.

Oh, uh, thanks, but we're not interested.

Yeah, we're really not about the corporate life anymore.

Plus, we have our own plans that

we're trying to align on right now.

Okay, well, why don't you just look at my terms?

Honestly, we're good. But...

Just in case you can be more good.

Um...

Yeah. Nah.

We need to save as much cash as we can from this mess.

Liquidate everything that isn't bolted down.

Everything.