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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,048 --> 00:00:03,950 Hi. I'm comedian Tom Green with a special one-time offer. 2 00:00:03,977 --> 00:00:05,302 Say yes now and receive a case 3 00:00:05,333 --> 00:00:07,844 of premium Canadian sausage for only $39.99. 4 00:00:07,868 --> 00:00:09,430 Daddy, would you like some sausage? 5 00:00:09,474 --> 00:00:11,388 - Yes. - Magnificent. 6 00:00:11,407 --> 00:00:14,202 Now please enter your credit card info using your touch-tone phone. 7 00:00:14,837 --> 00:00:16,308 And there you have it. 8 00:00:16,339 --> 00:00:20,200 Telecom intelligence negotiating algorithm, or "Tina," 9 00:00:20,233 --> 00:00:23,983 gives callers two offers in a variety of celebrity voices, 10 00:00:24,002 --> 00:00:25,114 as you just heard. 11 00:00:25,137 --> 00:00:28,008 Tom Green? You should have got Scott Caan. 12 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:30,007 - Shut up, he's a huge celebrity. - Whoa, watch it. Yeah. 13 00:00:30,025 --> 00:00:31,780 Someone needs to put a muzzle on him, 14 00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:34,132 - 'cause I hate you. - Uh, real question. 15 00:00:34,149 --> 00:00:37,633 If Tina is making the calls, why are we here? 16 00:00:37,664 --> 00:00:40,881 Well, if Tina doesn't make the sale within the first two offers, then... 17 00:00:40,906 --> 00:00:42,094 Oh, I get it. 18 00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:43,915 Then we come in and clean bat up. 19 00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:47,773 'Cause this cold machine lacks the soft touch of a human... 20 00:00:48,073 --> 00:00:50,721 touching a machine. 21 00:00:51,044 --> 00:00:52,812 It lacks human error. 22 00:00:52,837 --> 00:00:56,514 And Tina persists where you would feel intrusive. 23 00:00:56,544 --> 00:00:59,135 Okay, so what's the catch? 24 00:00:59,166 --> 00:01:02,242 Well, if Tina does make the sale 25 00:01:02,266 --> 00:01:04,629 before your assistance is needed, 26 00:01:04,785 --> 00:01:06,166 you don't get the commission. 27 00:01:06,184 --> 00:01:07,638 - Just your hourly. - What? 28 00:01:07,665 --> 00:01:08,949 Is this a joke? 29 00:01:08,973 --> 00:01:10,716 Uh, you know, I-I get it. 30 00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:13,345 Gonna be less work for us, and we're still getting paid hourly. 31 00:01:13,358 --> 00:01:14,954 Exactly, thank you, stretch. 32 00:01:15,002 --> 00:01:17,268 No, you don't get it! 33 00:01:17,692 --> 00:01:19,536 This is just the beginning, guys. 34 00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:22,783 All right, if we let these machines take our jobs, 35 00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:25,831 next... next, they're gonna take everything. 36 00:01:25,862 --> 00:01:28,208 Okay, Blake, you're overreacting. 37 00:01:28,233 --> 00:01:29,481 Overreacting? 38 00:01:29,515 --> 00:01:32,613 I'm pretty sure that I'm underreacting right now. 39 00:01:33,365 --> 00:01:35,480 Just imagine a future... 40 00:01:35,636 --> 00:01:37,600 Where robots replace humans, 41 00:01:37,625 --> 00:01:42,384 evolving to be faster, smarter, and just way more freaking doper. 42 00:01:43,181 --> 00:01:44,928 Where humans become obsolete, 43 00:01:44,952 --> 00:01:47,400 and they're forced by their ruler, Tina, 44 00:01:47,476 --> 00:01:51,578 to undergo a cyborg surgery known as orientation. 45 00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:54,328 And it'll only be a matter of time 46 00:01:54,346 --> 00:01:56,548 before they come for us all. 47 00:02:04,335 --> 00:02:08,335 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com Resync for DEMAND by antibio 48 00:02:09,325 --> 00:02:12,734 Congrats, your bum will soon be on your very own Swedish massage chair. 49 00:02:12,753 --> 00:02:14,168 Now please enter your credit card info 50 00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:15,283 using your touch-tone phone. 51 00:02:15,321 --> 00:02:16,901 - Swedish. - Wow. 52 00:02:16,926 --> 00:02:18,035 Cool. 53 00:02:18,078 --> 00:02:20,058 Another sale stolen by Tina. 54 00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:22,406 And another one of our commission checks stuffed into the pockets 55 00:02:22,431 --> 00:02:25,194 of Tina's real comfortable cyber wranglers. 56 00:02:25,207 --> 00:02:26,377 Oh, yeah, just face it. 57 00:02:26,389 --> 00:02:29,618 Tom Green is Freddy-got- finger-raping us all day. 58 00:02:29,631 --> 00:02:31,685 - Yeah. - Oh, dude, check this out. 59 00:02:31,872 --> 00:02:33,812 Look what I snuck past the last merry maids sweep. 60 00:02:33,842 --> 00:02:35,501 Thank God. 61 00:02:35,632 --> 00:02:38,456 That huff, huff... Huffy white heat. 62 00:02:38,506 --> 00:02:40,851 - Huff! Huff! - Except for it's not hot. 63 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,979 - It's actually very cold, so... - It's cold. 64 00:02:43,060 --> 00:02:44,703 Just be careful with it, all right? 65 00:02:45,453 --> 00:02:46,531 - Pretty cool, I guess. - Yeah. 66 00:02:46,549 --> 00:02:47,774 - Ooh! 67 00:02:47,811 --> 00:02:50,489 - That's crispy. - That's a nimbus cloud in there. 68 00:02:50,508 --> 00:02:51,944 I've actually done so much of this stuff, 69 00:02:51,975 --> 00:02:53,899 I don't even think it really affects my brain anymore. 70 00:02:54,067 --> 00:02:55,724 Is that right? 71 00:02:56,942 --> 00:02:58,211 Hey, but don't hog it all. 72 00:02:58,223 --> 00:02:59,594 I know it's gonna sizzle-fry my brain, 73 00:02:59,619 --> 00:03:01,650 but, I'm sorry, this whole impending doom thing 74 00:03:01,672 --> 00:03:03,219 is really getting to me, so if I could just have 75 00:03:03,244 --> 00:03:05,012 a huff of the hot... uh... The heat? 76 00:03:05,048 --> 00:03:06,498 Well, you know, it's... 77 00:03:06,510 --> 00:03:08,579 Just abandon all hope here. 78 00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,494 - What the heck? What'd you do, man? - I didn't do anything. 79 00:03:11,508 --> 00:03:12,582 Mm. 80 00:03:13,214 --> 00:03:15,164 We didn't do anything! 81 00:03:15,189 --> 00:03:17,572 Good. That's the way I like it. 82 00:03:17,594 --> 00:03:19,436 But that's all about to change. 83 00:03:19,664 --> 00:03:22,074 So, you've finally come 84 00:03:22,086 --> 00:03:24,929 to have me slave away in your vagina, 85 00:03:24,958 --> 00:03:26,566 as your sex slave. 86 00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:27,752 That's fine. 87 00:03:27,868 --> 00:03:29,587 I'll have sex with you. 88 00:03:29,648 --> 00:03:31,892 But I will never love you, Alice. 89 00:03:32,134 --> 00:03:33,579 I will never love you! 90 00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:35,516 Step aside, you troll. 91 00:03:35,553 --> 00:03:37,089 Oh, good one: Troll. 92 00:03:37,101 --> 00:03:39,518 - Yeah, right. - I'm here for Blake. 93 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,291 Oh, 'cause of his hair? 'Cause you're into trolls? 94 00:03:41,316 --> 00:03:43,914 No. Because it's time for his orientation. 95 00:03:43,931 --> 00:03:44,933 Oh, fuck, sorry. 96 00:03:44,939 --> 00:03:47,194 Alice, please, I haven't even lived yet, all right? 97 00:03:47,219 --> 00:03:49,834 I didn't even get to try Carl's Jr.'s CrissCut fries. 98 00:03:49,845 --> 00:03:52,531 - Seriously? - Yeah, you know. I'm an onion ring guy. 99 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,167 Montez, Waymond, no! Don't! 100 00:03:54,185 --> 00:03:57,098 - Take me instead! - Yeah, take him instead. 101 00:03:57,122 --> 00:03:59,193 I understand that Tina's what's best for T.A.C. 102 00:03:59,214 --> 00:04:00,548 and I'm ready. 103 00:04:00,885 --> 00:04:02,748 I'm ready to become... 104 00:04:03,051 --> 00:04:04,642 an Oriental. 105 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,604 No! 106 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:17,563 Sorry. 107 00:04:17,689 --> 00:04:19,060 Strap him to the table. 108 00:04:19,078 --> 00:04:20,742 I can't be a cyborg, man. 109 00:04:20,798 --> 00:04:23,069 They don't even have any cool... they're just idiots. 110 00:04:23,156 --> 00:04:25,546 They just have metal in their brains. 111 00:04:25,575 --> 00:04:28,151 If you had, like, a laser dick, then, yeah, I'd be a cyborg. 112 00:04:28,163 --> 00:04:29,585 But there's nothing enticing me. 113 00:04:29,616 --> 00:04:31,607 Look, this is what we gotta do. We gotta go save Ders 114 00:04:31,626 --> 00:04:33,027 and get the hell outta this hell, all right? 115 00:04:33,058 --> 00:04:34,277 Yeah, where are we gonna go, Blake? 116 00:04:34,290 --> 00:04:35,654 I don't know. Let's freaking feivel it. 117 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,135 - Let's go west. - To the ocean? 118 00:04:37,154 --> 00:04:38,748 Sh-yeah, right. 119 00:04:38,805 --> 00:04:40,096 I'm not an ocean dog, okay? 120 00:04:40,115 --> 00:04:41,499 I'm a city cat. 121 00:04:42,393 --> 00:04:44,892 All right, fine. Let me think of another direction. 122 00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:47,745 - East. - Yes. 123 00:04:47,761 --> 00:04:49,228 Let's head east, to the heartland! 124 00:04:49,259 --> 00:04:50,603 - Yeah. - Vegas. 125 00:04:50,628 --> 00:04:52,322 - Vegas, I love it there! - Right? 126 00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:53,463 There we go. 127 00:04:53,643 --> 00:04:55,028 Now, let's ice our brains down, 128 00:04:55,047 --> 00:04:56,698 and formulate a well-thought-out plan. 129 00:04:56,711 --> 00:04:57,599 Wait a minute. 130 00:04:57,620 --> 00:05:00,259 - What did you just say? - Hmm? 131 00:05:00,278 --> 00:05:01,520 Yes, that's it. 132 00:05:01,544 --> 00:05:02,917 The freeze part, that's what I was thinking. 133 00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:04,727 The freeze part. Dude, you're a genius! 134 00:05:05,502 --> 00:05:06,434 I don't know. 135 00:05:06,463 --> 00:05:07,748 ...using your touch-tone phone. 136 00:05:11,056 --> 00:05:11,972 Yeah. 137 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,441 There we go. 138 00:05:13,475 --> 00:05:14,777 Whoo! Oh! Oh! 139 00:05:14,789 --> 00:05:15,885 - Oh, sorry. - That's okay. 140 00:05:15,907 --> 00:05:17,934 Hey, Adam, what comes after "l"? 141 00:05:18,190 --> 00:05:19,748 - I don't... I... - Bow! 142 00:05:22,084 --> 00:05:23,226 - Oh. - Shiz-off! 143 00:05:23,238 --> 00:05:24,299 - Dude! - Oh, my God! 144 00:05:24,317 --> 00:05:26,643 I'm so excited about this. We could... okay. 145 00:05:26,669 --> 00:05:28,577 - We could die doing this. - Great, let's save Ders. 146 00:05:28,877 --> 00:05:31,013 We could die, this is exciting. 147 00:05:31,270 --> 00:05:33,175 I think we're good now. Ooh! 148 00:05:33,205 --> 00:05:34,724 - Blake! Adam! - Shut up. 149 00:05:34,770 --> 00:05:36,008 - Shh, shh. - We're getting out of here. 150 00:05:36,026 --> 00:05:37,518 Take us with you! Take us with you, man! 151 00:05:37,536 --> 00:05:39,511 - Yeah, save us. - No, sorry, we can't. 152 00:05:39,517 --> 00:05:41,947 Yeah, but, um, we're always gonna remember you, 153 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,424 and we'll never forget you, so... 154 00:05:43,486 --> 00:05:44,837 Take this yo-yo. 155 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,260 It belonged to my father. 156 00:05:47,266 --> 00:05:49,129 Television set. 157 00:05:49,464 --> 00:05:50,885 Give it to your sons. 158 00:05:50,908 --> 00:05:52,399 Very cool. Cool yo-yo. 159 00:05:52,430 --> 00:05:54,693 - Thank you, I'm gonna treasure this. - Don't go. 160 00:05:54,724 --> 00:05:56,885 - Yep. - Guys, please don't leave us, okay? 161 00:05:56,904 --> 00:05:58,591 I cannot survive in here. 162 00:05:58,631 --> 00:06:00,310 All right, I-I love you, Jet Set. 163 00:06:00,322 --> 00:06:02,099 But he shit all over the walls. 164 00:06:02,507 --> 00:06:04,664 - And I can't... this smell... - You pooped on the walls? 165 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,219 - I couldn't hold it no more. - I can smell it now. 166 00:06:09,582 --> 00:06:11,291 I'm sorry, guys, we'll come back for you. 167 00:06:11,316 --> 00:06:12,486 We gotta go. 168 00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:15,796 Oh. 169 00:06:15,827 --> 00:06:17,581 It's okay. 170 00:06:18,009 --> 00:06:20,362 Relax, Holmvik. 171 00:06:20,950 --> 00:06:22,820 Once you've been oriented, 172 00:06:22,832 --> 00:06:25,767 all the fear, the emotions, 173 00:06:26,073 --> 00:06:27,583 they just disappear. 174 00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:29,674 Then why don't you try it? 175 00:06:29,905 --> 00:06:33,769 Because I run Telamericorp, and Tina answers to me. 176 00:06:35,244 --> 00:06:36,854 Prep the patient. 177 00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:38,017 What? 178 00:06:38,042 --> 00:06:39,280 What are you doing? 179 00:06:39,345 --> 00:06:41,609 What? No! Oh, no! 180 00:06:41,633 --> 00:06:43,786 You're changing the molecular structure of my flesh! 181 00:06:43,899 --> 00:06:45,454 Please don't! 182 00:06:45,508 --> 00:06:47,411 No, we're just shaving your body. 183 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:48,444 Oh. 184 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,421 Okay. 185 00:06:49,499 --> 00:06:50,848 Been there, done that. 186 00:06:51,346 --> 00:06:52,484 Spa day. 187 00:07:03,416 --> 00:07:04,690 {pub}So, once we get to Vegas, 188 00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,413 thinking about doing a Cirque Du Soleil show 189 00:07:06,438 --> 00:07:07,520 based on the music of Nelly. 190 00:07:07,532 --> 00:07:09,235 - Wait a minute. - What? 191 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,238 I mean, if Murphy Lee and the St. Lunatics 192 00:07:12,256 --> 00:07:15,189 want to be involved, that's fine. But it's really... it's Nelly's show. 193 00:07:15,546 --> 00:07:17,256 Tina's mainframe. 194 00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,898 That's where the lifeblood's generated. 195 00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:22,255 Destroying the mainframe would wipe out the mind control 196 00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:24,187 of everybody who's been oriented-tated. 197 00:07:24,217 --> 00:07:25,967 Very cool. We can't get in there, though, 198 00:07:25,997 --> 00:07:27,695 because we don't have Alice's collar key. 199 00:07:27,713 --> 00:07:29,812 So let's just focus on what I'm saying, okay? 200 00:07:29,837 --> 00:07:30,942 Let's go get Ders. 201 00:07:30,967 --> 00:07:32,681 Do you have air force ones? 'Cause you're gonna need those. 202 00:07:32,706 --> 00:07:35,395 Um, I have G Unit sneakers. 203 00:07:35,425 --> 00:07:38,260 Once ingested, this probe will map your body, 204 00:07:38,294 --> 00:07:40,757 and we can begin the implant process, 205 00:07:40,781 --> 00:07:43,876 orienting you to Tina's mainframe. 206 00:07:49,271 --> 00:07:50,330 Yeah. 207 00:07:50,354 --> 00:07:52,618 Don't worry, you'll pass it soon. 208 00:07:52,643 --> 00:07:53,674 TMI. 209 00:07:53,693 --> 00:07:56,536 Position the optical excavation device. 210 00:07:57,063 --> 00:07:59,561 Time to scoop out them eyeballs, stretch. 211 00:08:03,159 --> 00:08:05,189 No! 212 00:08:06,047 --> 00:08:07,442 No! No, no, no! 213 00:08:07,467 --> 00:08:09,473 Watch eyes! Watch eyes! Waymond, please, please! 214 00:08:09,492 --> 00:08:11,657 I know you can hear me! Tell her to stop! 215 00:08:11,697 --> 00:08:13,525 Don't let her do this! 216 00:08:15,034 --> 00:08:17,735 Good thing yo-yo strings are long as hell in the future. 217 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:18,758 Whoop! 218 00:08:18,782 --> 00:08:20,820 Just what do you think you're doing? 219 00:08:20,855 --> 00:08:21,921 We're escaping to Vegas. 220 00:08:21,946 --> 00:08:23,672 Unless you want me to be your sex puppet. 221 00:08:23,702 --> 00:08:25,584 Put your hand up my ass, make me talk. 222 00:08:25,602 --> 00:08:26,991 Come on, let's get out of here! Let's go! 223 00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:28,413 Let's move! Let's move! Let's move! 224 00:08:28,763 --> 00:08:30,613 Oh, yeah, and, Alice... 225 00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:33,264 - We quit. - Yeah. 226 00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:34,574 Yeah, we quit. 227 00:08:34,605 --> 00:08:36,476 Come on! Hup! 228 00:08:36,857 --> 00:08:38,944 After them now! 229 00:08:41,849 --> 00:08:42,922 Damn it. 230 00:08:42,941 --> 00:08:45,288 I am not running after them in these heels. 231 00:08:45,418 --> 00:08:46,848 Let's head back to the office. 232 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,643 We'll activate the probe's tracking signal, 233 00:08:48,648 --> 00:08:51,657 and then we'll trigger the defense mech, in case they try to discharge. 234 00:08:51,742 --> 00:08:53,280 Damn it. 235 00:08:53,415 --> 00:08:54,324 What are they talking about? 236 00:08:54,343 --> 00:08:56,338 They fed me this probe thing. 237 00:08:57,471 --> 00:08:59,048 Oh, my God. 238 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:01,279 I can feel it. Oh. 239 00:09:01,934 --> 00:09:03,898 Oh, God! 240 00:09:03,924 --> 00:09:05,364 It's too late to abort it, 241 00:09:05,481 --> 00:09:07,024 which is exactly what my mom used 242 00:09:07,043 --> 00:09:08,499 to say about me. 243 00:09:08,677 --> 00:09:10,358 I'm gonna have to murder you. I'm gonna have to murder him. 244 00:09:10,377 --> 00:09:11,577 - No, Adam, no... - Wait, wait... 245 00:09:11,601 --> 00:09:12,956 He's not Oriental yet. 246 00:09:12,981 --> 00:09:14,040 Look at his eyes. 247 00:09:14,052 --> 00:09:16,271 You could tell he's Oriental by his eyes. 248 00:09:16,352 --> 00:09:18,180 But we do got to get that probe out of him. 249 00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,287 - Oh. - Oh, God. Ooh. 250 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:24,921 I think I know how to get it out. 251 00:09:24,933 --> 00:09:26,475 - Huh? What? - How? 252 00:09:27,054 --> 00:09:28,501 - What are you... - What are you doing? 253 00:09:28,525 --> 00:09:29,982 - Yeah. - What are you doing? 254 00:09:30,005 --> 00:09:31,560 Tracker on. 255 00:09:31,624 --> 00:09:33,928 Get to the supply closet now! 256 00:09:35,846 --> 00:09:38,017 Defense mech armed. 257 00:09:38,053 --> 00:09:39,649 You hear that? I'm beeping. 258 00:09:39,668 --> 00:09:41,537 - Yeah, get it out, Ders. - Get it out. 259 00:09:41,556 --> 00:09:42,700 - Can you hear it? - Stop playing. 260 00:09:42,719 --> 00:09:44,049 I could kill him, I could still kill him. 261 00:09:44,068 --> 00:09:47,003 Yeah, man, this is an option. 262 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:48,484 Oh, look. 263 00:09:50,695 --> 00:09:52,257 Oh, my God, it's a tapeworm! 264 00:09:52,281 --> 00:09:54,448 I've had one of those. 17 feet long. 265 00:09:54,479 --> 00:09:56,638 Doctor told me I had to quit eating raw ground beef. 266 00:09:56,681 --> 00:09:57,860 Which I did. 267 00:09:57,952 --> 00:09:58,786 For a while. 268 00:09:58,811 --> 00:10:00,342 It's not a tapeworm! 269 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,161 It's the thing! Obviously. 270 00:10:02,191 --> 00:10:03,495 - Yes, obviously. - Right, totally. 271 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,384 Come over here, and help me get it out. 272 00:10:05,428 --> 00:10:07,956 - Keep pulling it out of your ass. - All right, you're okay. 273 00:10:07,981 --> 00:10:10,315 - I think you... you got this. - All right, uh... 274 00:10:11,702 --> 00:10:13,891 All right, here we go. 275 00:10:13,994 --> 00:10:15,592 - Okay. - Oh, wait, no, no, no. 276 00:10:15,611 --> 00:10:17,378 - Not a pretty view. - Slow down, slow down. 277 00:10:17,397 --> 00:10:18,356 I think something's coming. 278 00:10:18,374 --> 00:10:20,255 Oh, yeah, no, that's it. That's the probe. 279 00:10:20,299 --> 00:10:21,571 I see something. 280 00:10:21,850 --> 00:10:23,944 Yep, yep. Oh, here we go! 281 00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:25,354 We got some lights. 282 00:10:25,401 --> 00:10:26,957 Oh! 283 00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,816 - Ooh! - Oh God! 284 00:10:28,902 --> 00:10:30,352 We got it! Destroy it, Adam! 285 00:10:30,365 --> 00:10:31,480 - Destroy it. - Yep. 286 00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:35,036 - Okay. Yeah. - You get it? 287 00:10:35,145 --> 00:10:36,010 No, I hear it. 288 00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,144 It's still beeping inside of me. 289 00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:38,850 We're not done, guys, it's still in there! 290 00:10:39,317 --> 00:10:40,892 To the left, hurry! 291 00:10:40,904 --> 00:10:42,408 And bring them back alive. 292 00:10:42,652 --> 00:10:43,739 Barely. 293 00:10:44,033 --> 00:10:45,353 - Yep. - It's still in there. 294 00:10:45,814 --> 00:10:47,142 It's still in there. Okay, okay. 295 00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:48,297 Round two, here we go. 296 00:10:48,329 --> 00:10:49,873 Yeah, no. 297 00:10:49,901 --> 00:10:51,494 - You got it. - Keep it up. 298 00:10:51,512 --> 00:10:52,936 Good work. 299 00:10:53,308 --> 00:10:54,810 Yep, I got it snagged. 300 00:10:59,063 --> 00:11:01,345 - Oh! - Boy! Yikes! 301 00:11:01,504 --> 00:11:04,042 Yes, you're gonna have a case of "the hemmies" after this one. 302 00:11:04,061 --> 00:11:05,104 Fissures and hemmies. 303 00:11:05,116 --> 00:11:06,656 You might never poop again, dude. 304 00:11:06,688 --> 00:11:08,335 Which would suck for me, I love pooping. 305 00:11:08,347 --> 00:11:10,280 It's, like, where I get most of my reading done. 306 00:11:11,152 --> 00:11:13,661 Great. You've got them cornered. 307 00:11:14,222 --> 00:11:15,489 You know what? 308 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,652 Kill 'em. 309 00:11:16,797 --> 00:11:18,139 No, guys... guys, stop! 310 00:11:18,151 --> 00:11:19,258 Stop, okay? 311 00:11:19,289 --> 00:11:21,458 I'll just be a cyborg. Forget it, all right? 312 00:11:21,483 --> 00:11:23,900 Just stop pulling things out of my ass! 313 00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:25,428 Okay, I'll help. 314 00:11:27,618 --> 00:11:29,395 - Oh! - There it is! There it is! 315 00:11:29,569 --> 00:11:31,732 - Oh! Oh! - Break it! Hurry. 316 00:11:32,486 --> 00:11:33,728 Break it and destroy it! 317 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,533 Come on! 318 00:11:35,848 --> 00:11:37,176 Okay, it's indestructible. 319 00:11:37,201 --> 00:11:38,551 Don't we have, like, a steamroller 320 00:11:38,563 --> 00:11:40,009 or, like, lava or... 321 00:11:40,088 --> 00:11:41,565 What do we do? 322 00:11:45,063 --> 00:11:46,495 Wait, what are you doing, you idiots? 323 00:11:46,513 --> 00:11:47,734 Finish them! 324 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,614 They're heading down the South hallway. 325 00:11:50,652 --> 00:11:52,374 They're heading towards my office! 326 00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:53,737 Wait, they're coming for me! 327 00:11:53,743 --> 00:11:55,653 Get here now! 328 00:12:21,126 --> 00:12:23,057 {pub}Damn it! It's Bill. 329 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,393 We're not getting past him. 330 00:12:24,424 --> 00:12:25,618 He's so deadly. Look at him. 331 00:12:25,656 --> 00:12:27,006 Ow! 332 00:12:28,876 --> 00:12:30,420 Um, mirrors. 333 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,773 If we can find several mirrors... 334 00:12:32,914 --> 00:12:35,326 Shh, Adam. Trying to come up with an idea here. 335 00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:36,311 Dude! 336 00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:38,686 Hey, have you guys seen Kill Bill? 337 00:12:38,938 --> 00:12:40,482 Volume one or two? 338 00:12:40,517 --> 00:12:41,964 Volume now. 339 00:12:47,763 --> 00:12:49,063 Aah! 340 00:12:54,835 --> 00:12:55,567 I got him! 341 00:12:55,586 --> 00:12:57,337 - Bill! - No! 342 00:12:57,356 --> 00:12:59,482 - Oh, sheesh. - Ugh. 343 00:12:59,842 --> 00:13:00,715 All right. 344 00:13:00,734 --> 00:13:02,505 Bill! No! 345 00:13:04,181 --> 00:13:05,927 Adam, you can't kill them! 346 00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:08,345 Bill, he's still in there. He's just under mind control. 347 00:13:08,382 --> 00:13:09,394 - Yeah. - Oh, I thought he... 348 00:13:09,428 --> 00:13:10,771 I thought he was like an evil robot. 349 00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:11,765 No! Oh! 350 00:13:11,783 --> 00:13:13,190 You didn't know. He didn't know. 351 00:13:13,202 --> 00:13:15,954 Cyborgs are totally different than evil robots, okay? 352 00:13:16,013 --> 00:13:17,895 - Think of Robocop, right? - Yeah, yeah. 353 00:13:17,914 --> 00:13:20,149 He would have those flashbacks to when he was a man. 354 00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:22,091 Oh, so he's actually... he's half-human. 355 00:13:22,116 --> 00:13:23,463 - Yes, he's still human. - I killed a human! 356 00:13:23,489 --> 00:13:24,825 - You killed a human, dude. - Oh, my gosh. 357 00:13:24,843 --> 00:13:27,096 - Oh, sorry, Bill. - Yeah. 358 00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:29,170 Okay, we hop over the fence. 359 00:13:29,482 --> 00:13:31,118 Hop on a plane, if they still exist, 360 00:13:31,142 --> 00:13:33,407 and be the kings of the Las Vegas strap. 361 00:13:33,425 --> 00:13:35,356 Attention, Jillian and Jet Set, 362 00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,373 prepare for orientation. 363 00:13:37,402 --> 00:13:38,863 Your time is now. 364 00:13:39,330 --> 00:13:40,390 Jet and Jill. 365 00:13:40,429 --> 00:13:41,540 You guys, we got to do something. 366 00:13:41,558 --> 00:13:42,754 I know what they're about to go through. 367 00:13:42,785 --> 00:13:43,704 Uh-uh, no. 368 00:13:43,716 --> 00:13:45,554 This is a trap. This is trickery! 369 00:13:45,566 --> 00:13:46,966 This is Tomfoolery! 370 00:13:46,991 --> 00:13:48,095 Let's go to Vegas! 371 00:13:49,173 --> 00:13:50,481 Vegas! 372 00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:54,064 No, don't you see? This isn't just about saving those guys. 373 00:13:54,290 --> 00:13:56,783 It's about taking back Telamericorp. 374 00:13:56,983 --> 00:13:59,476 Reclaiming the company that gave us nothing. 375 00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:03,547 It's a dirty job, but... Somebody's gotta Mike Rowe it. 376 00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:05,217 - Hey, Blake? - Huh? 377 00:14:05,451 --> 00:14:07,793 Fuck yo speech! Whoo! 378 00:14:07,824 --> 00:14:09,118 - You had to say that. - Vegas! 379 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,260 No! Aah! 380 00:14:11,705 --> 00:14:12,790 Help! 381 00:14:13,206 --> 00:14:14,708 Adam, I got you! 382 00:14:18,675 --> 00:14:21,408 Oh, I gotta... I gotta get a gif of this! 383 00:14:21,489 --> 00:14:23,456 Ders... Get... Us... Off! 384 00:14:24,111 --> 00:14:25,845 Okay, all right. 385 00:14:25,984 --> 00:14:28,886 Ders, get me off! 386 00:14:32,012 --> 00:14:33,901 - Oh, my God! - You think that was funny? 387 00:14:33,945 --> 00:14:34,955 - I'm sorry. - You think that was... 388 00:14:34,973 --> 00:14:36,146 - let me see it! - I'm... 389 00:14:36,173 --> 00:14:37,507 - let me see it! - Sorry. 390 00:14:37,632 --> 00:14:38,782 Aah! 391 00:14:39,007 --> 00:14:40,010 Oh, this is funny. 392 00:14:40,039 --> 00:14:41,401 - Huh? - This is actually really funny. 393 00:14:41,426 --> 00:14:42,660 - It's pretty funny, right? - That was good. 394 00:14:42,685 --> 00:14:44,240 - Thank you. - Okay, all right. 395 00:14:44,246 --> 00:14:45,740 Let's go back and save the day! 396 00:14:45,756 --> 00:14:47,001 End tyranny! 397 00:14:47,026 --> 00:14:48,887 Find the switch for the fence! 398 00:14:48,937 --> 00:14:50,848 Oh, I got a boner for some reason. 399 00:14:51,001 --> 00:14:54,370 All right, now we find Alice, and we force her to free the people. 400 00:14:54,401 --> 00:14:55,268 - Yep. - Or... 401 00:14:55,305 --> 00:14:58,753 She forces me to fuck her or whatever, huh? 402 00:14:58,777 --> 00:15:00,292 No, Adam, we have to stop her, okay? 403 00:15:00,303 --> 00:15:01,427 This ends now. Come on, let's do this. 404 00:15:01,457 --> 00:15:02,945 Yes, that's a better plan than mine. 405 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,089 Oh, damn. Jillian's a fembot. 406 00:15:05,133 --> 00:15:07,101 - Really? - Oh, they all are. 407 00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:08,562 Knuckle up, motherfuggers. 408 00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:09,537 Mm, why do you have that? 409 00:15:09,562 --> 00:15:11,111 - Huh? 'Cause. - Yeah. 410 00:15:11,134 --> 00:15:12,173 - 'Cause why? - Why? 411 00:15:12,185 --> 00:15:13,637 - It was in my butt, dude. - That was in his anus. 412 00:15:13,668 --> 00:15:16,053 To study... Because the, um... 413 00:15:16,336 --> 00:15:19,250 Just go fight your one, already, please. 414 00:15:19,275 --> 00:15:21,135 - Yeah, go, you got him. - All right, wish me luck. 415 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,744 - Good luck. - Whoo! 416 00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:27,297 Whoa. Whoo! 417 00:15:27,321 --> 00:15:29,373 You are a bitch, cyborg Montez! 418 00:15:29,391 --> 00:15:30,496 You are a bitch! 419 00:15:31,912 --> 00:15:32,932 Sorry, Jet Set! 420 00:15:33,287 --> 00:15:34,601 - Yeah! - Oh! 421 00:15:37,999 --> 00:15:40,192 - Oh, was that a roundhouse? - You know it. 422 00:15:40,210 --> 00:15:41,853 Whatever happened to roundhouses, dude? 423 00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:45,153 I don't wanna do this, Jillian. 424 00:15:46,383 --> 00:15:47,518 - Oh! - Whoa. 425 00:15:47,536 --> 00:15:50,029 - Oh! - Blake, stop messing around! 426 00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:51,243 I'm not messing around. 427 00:15:51,261 --> 00:15:53,158 She's crushing my testicles. 428 00:15:53,192 --> 00:15:55,570 Ow! Oh, oh. 429 00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:58,827 Let's see if I can crush her testicles. 430 00:16:05,694 --> 00:16:08,732 Oh! 431 00:16:08,943 --> 00:16:11,008 Oh! Oh, ow. 432 00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,305 Swim dive! 433 00:16:12,859 --> 00:16:13,875 Yeah... oh! 434 00:16:15,419 --> 00:16:18,064 Guys! The xerox machine. 435 00:16:18,298 --> 00:16:19,383 Copy that. 436 00:16:21,219 --> 00:16:23,740 Attack! Now! Eww, oh! 437 00:16:25,007 --> 00:16:26,531 Come on, Demamp! 438 00:16:26,589 --> 00:16:28,333 Triple dude attack! 439 00:16:28,383 --> 00:16:30,594 Oh! 440 00:16:30,719 --> 00:16:32,530 Oh, nice. Come on, let's go! 441 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,486 - All right. - Oh. 442 00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:40,575 Oh, hi. 443 00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:42,703 Sorry, I was just... 444 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,147 I was just eating. 445 00:16:49,964 --> 00:16:52,704 {pub}All you had to do was go through orientation. 446 00:16:52,734 --> 00:16:55,412 But no, you had to cause problems. 447 00:16:55,443 --> 00:16:58,968 Yeah, 'cause "cause problems" is my middle name. 448 00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:01,212 Yeah! And being a cyborg? 449 00:17:01,243 --> 00:17:02,487 Well, that's overrated. 450 00:17:02,525 --> 00:17:04,234 And that's something I never thought I'd say. 451 00:17:04,321 --> 00:17:07,407 And we're here to put an end to the reign of Tina. 452 00:17:07,605 --> 00:17:09,819 Good luck with that, stretch. 453 00:17:12,693 --> 00:17:14,926 - Whoa! - Oh, my God! 454 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,940 Tom Green! Wow, really big fan. 455 00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:18,312 - Really big fan. - I'm a huge fan. 456 00:17:18,610 --> 00:17:20,751 My bum is on the cheese. 457 00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:22,898 - My bum is on the cheese. - Cyber Tom Green, 458 00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,650 that's... that's awesome, but you need to shut it down. 459 00:17:25,687 --> 00:17:26,817 - Yeah. - Because soon enough, 460 00:17:26,829 --> 00:17:28,297 the cyborgs, they're gonna come for you. 461 00:17:28,328 --> 00:17:32,154 These machines would die for me, because they need me to survive. 462 00:17:34,034 --> 00:17:36,207 Oh, what, do you have a problem with that? 463 00:17:37,095 --> 00:17:39,095 Kill them already. 464 00:17:43,076 --> 00:17:45,176 Oh! 465 00:17:46,755 --> 00:17:48,697 - Swedish? - Something happened. 466 00:17:48,716 --> 00:17:50,528 The machines! They're taking over! 467 00:17:51,149 --> 00:17:52,830 - Now what are you doing? - The key card! 468 00:17:52,848 --> 00:17:54,589 We've gotta get to the mainframe! 469 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:56,764 Screw it! 470 00:17:56,788 --> 00:17:58,588 Poor Alice, she's never gonna bang me. 471 00:18:01,139 --> 00:18:02,606 Daddy, would you like some sausage? 472 00:18:02,993 --> 00:18:04,495 Daddy, would you like some sausages? 473 00:18:04,622 --> 00:18:06,458 Sausages! Sausages! 474 00:18:06,613 --> 00:18:08,449 Get in and barricade the door! Barricade the door! 475 00:18:11,279 --> 00:18:14,857 'Sup, Tina? You naughty little computer. 476 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,790 Oh, I'm gonna drain you. 477 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,154 I'm gonna drain you good. 478 00:18:19,582 --> 00:18:22,085 Come on! 479 00:18:22,126 --> 00:18:23,762 - Shut her down, Demamp! - There it is! 480 00:18:23,781 --> 00:18:25,197 We can't hold him much longer! 481 00:18:25,222 --> 00:18:27,502 I'm trying! It's much harder than it looks! 482 00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:30,295 All right, well... try a "come hither" motion. 483 00:18:30,418 --> 00:18:33,011 Oh, I'm "hithering." Oh, I'm "hithering," baby! 484 00:18:33,017 --> 00:18:33,761 "Hither" harder! 485 00:18:33,788 --> 00:18:37,080 Come on! You come for me! 486 00:18:37,702 --> 00:18:38,829 Oh! 487 00:18:38,864 --> 00:18:39,887 - Oh, my God. - Okay. 488 00:18:39,912 --> 00:18:41,309 Please, not my face! 489 00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:43,685 - Uh, something's happening. - Something good? 490 00:18:43,807 --> 00:18:47,503 Something... Beautiful! 491 00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:51,809 Oh! 492 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,439 Oh, come on! Oh, oh, oh. 493 00:19:01,202 --> 00:19:04,365 Hey, uh, it's... it's way over. 494 00:19:04,396 --> 00:19:05,578 - Yeah? - Yeah, it's... 495 00:19:05,595 --> 00:19:07,201 - Yeah, we did it? - Yeah. - You got him. 496 00:19:08,705 --> 00:19:11,153 Oh, no! Oh, my God! 497 00:19:11,305 --> 00:19:13,218 We killed my hero. 498 00:19:15,037 --> 00:19:16,238 Jeez! 499 00:19:16,778 --> 00:19:18,538 Where am I? 500 00:19:18,914 --> 00:19:21,593 - I don't remember anything. - Well, uh... 501 00:19:21,645 --> 00:19:23,165 - Well, you were a robot... - Yeah. 502 00:19:23,184 --> 00:19:24,143 And then now you're... 503 00:19:24,149 --> 00:19:25,558 you're just normal-ass Tom Green, 504 00:19:25,576 --> 00:19:27,149 - which is pretty cool. - Cyborg. 505 00:19:27,188 --> 00:19:28,404 Yeah, and actually... 506 00:19:28,466 --> 00:19:29,943 We are your childhood friends. 507 00:19:29,991 --> 00:19:31,234 - So... - Yep. 508 00:19:31,259 --> 00:19:32,625 - Like, your best friends. - Welcome back. 509 00:19:32,656 --> 00:19:34,304 - Yeah. - What's up, buddy? 510 00:19:34,323 --> 00:19:36,801 - Thanks, guys. - Yeah, we do what we have to. 511 00:19:37,161 --> 00:19:38,987 - Thanks, guys. - Hey! They're okay! 512 00:19:39,019 --> 00:19:41,972 Uh-huh. 513 00:19:42,132 --> 00:19:43,920 Oh, my God. We're heroes! 514 00:19:44,032 --> 00:19:45,798 Well, uh, I don't know about that. 515 00:19:45,828 --> 00:19:47,739 - We... we killed Bill, actually. - Yes. 516 00:19:47,796 --> 00:19:49,793 Very sorry about that. I did kill Bill. 517 00:19:49,799 --> 00:19:50,877 - Murdered. - That was my bad. 518 00:19:50,902 --> 00:19:51,708 I murdered him. 519 00:19:51,739 --> 00:19:54,750 I actually hope he's banging Alice's dead body in the afterlife. 520 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,962 "Bang dead Alice"? 521 00:20:03,468 --> 00:20:06,683 - Oh, um... I meant... - You know what? 522 00:20:06,714 --> 00:20:08,648 Shut up, okay? Honestly, I think that was 523 00:20:08,679 --> 00:20:10,657 the dumbest story I have ever heard. 524 00:20:10,684 --> 00:20:12,580 I can't believe you let him tell it for so long. 525 00:20:12,604 --> 00:20:14,835 This is just a prototype for a pilot program. 526 00:20:14,873 --> 00:20:16,205 We're not gonna be implementing anything 527 00:20:16,224 --> 00:20:18,300 - for, like, another year. - Oh! 528 00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:19,741 Well, you should have said that right away. 529 00:20:19,766 --> 00:20:22,266 - Yeah, we're gonna quit by then. - We'll probably be dead by then. 530 00:20:22,299 --> 00:20:24,255 Please, let's just get back to the phones, now. 531 00:20:24,267 --> 00:20:26,468 - All right. - All right, I swear to God... 532 00:20:26,665 --> 00:20:28,236 - Dude, I gotta try that! - Right? That's got to... 533 00:20:30,353 --> 00:20:31,881 Do not know. 534 00:20:31,901 --> 00:20:33,882 Jillian, are you okay? 535 00:20:34,012 --> 00:20:36,429 - Somebody call 911! - Are you choking? 536 00:20:36,457 --> 00:20:38,267 Get out of the way! 537 00:20:38,406 --> 00:20:40,209 Blake! 538 00:20:40,796 --> 00:20:42,581 - Help her! - I don't know what to do! 539 00:20:42,611 --> 00:20:45,271 - Somebody help! - Oh! Oh, God! 540 00:20:45,366 --> 00:20:47,035 Aah! Aah! 541 00:20:53,860 --> 00:20:55,462 All right, enough! 542 00:20:55,496 --> 00:20:57,995 God, Blake, do you ever shut up? 543 00:20:58,212 --> 00:21:03,212 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com Resync for DEMAND by antibio 38205

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