All language subtitles for S08E10 - Nobody says Rat Fink anymore

Sorry. Sorry I'm late.

It's a problem at home.

Ah, did the baby tooth the ears off your
Prince Charles doll again?

No. She said I'm the mercy of
babysitters.

Miss Sullivan, would it help if we
adjusted your schedule?

Oh, no, no. That won't be necessary,
sir. I have a nanny starting on Monday.

Beatrice Williker.

She's a sweet little old lady who bakes
pies and crochets doorknob cozies.

As much as I would love to chat about
Granny Goodgoose.

The state of New York hopes to spend a
few minutes this evening putting felons

behind bars.

Okay, you're right, you're right. Go
ahead, please.

All right, Mackey, let the bad times
roll.

Yes, sir. First up, case of aggravated
assault with a chainsaw.

Gee, if you use a chainsaw, it pretty
much has to be aggravated, doesn't it?

Yeah.

People versus... Beatrice Williker!

Oh, dear.

I may not be available for Monday night.

Okay, Mac Man, keep those cases rolling.

Well, we got a slight delay, sir.

Seems our next guest started a rumble
down in holding.

Well, you share one toilet with 20 guys.
There's bound to be a flashpoint

sometime.

Um, say, Roz, could I ask you a little
favor?

I'm here to serve.

Ask away.

Well, the Babykins agency is sending
over some nannies for me to meet on

lunch break, and I was wondering if you
might help me interview them.

You mean to prevent you from hiring
another chainsaw murderer?

Don't be judgmental. She was just
charged with maiming.

You need me.

Sure, I'll help you. Thank you.

We're ready now, sir.

All right, then, folks. Can we please go
through these next cases with no more

interruptions? Yes, sir. People versus
Terry Banoone.

Did you say Terry Banoone?

Uh-huh. I'd say it again, but you don't
want us to waste time.

Your Honor, Mr. Benoon was arrested
earlier for disrupting a biker's

convention.

What do you do for an encore, babe? Roll
yourself a meat and play peek-a-boo with

pit bulls?

Moron.

Oh, that's contempt you're going to get
yelled at.

Sir, Mr. Benoon allegedly mauled several
bikers, tossed a Harley through a police

car windshield, and relieved himself in
the arresting officer's riot helmet.

Your Honor, my client claims it was an
accident.

Your Honor?

You. You.

Your Honor, I believe listening is part
of the job description.

Sir?

Fifteen minute recess.

What? I don't get it. First he says, no
interruptions, then he calls a recess.

Makes sense to me.

But then, so do the lyrics to A Horse
With No Name.

Larry, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Fine. Is it pure?

I haven't seen you this jumpy since you
swallowed the bee at the Fourth of July

picnic.

Yeah. What's bothering you?

Scientific phenomenon, Matt.

You know, behaviorists have proven that
certain traumatic events from our past

can stay with us years after the initial
incident. They can even elicit the same

gut-wrenching internalized terror that
we experienced before.

It can happen years, heck, decades after
the fact.

What the hell is he talking about?

I have no idea. I thought he was talking
about losing his virginity.

Heck, that was just a few weeks ago.

Talking about that guy out there, Terry
Benoon.

He's my childhood bully.

He used to beat me up every day in
grammar school.

Are you sure it's him?

Yeah, yeah, when I saw that
born-to-drown-kitten tattoo.

Pretty much confirmed it.

Yikes.

When he walked in, I felt ten years old
again.

Had to get out before he could shove my
face in the snow or have his German

shepherd drag me around the concrete
schoolyard.

Gee, Harry.

Send out for a backbone, will you?

Easy on the judgment, Dan. I understand
where Harry's coming from.

There was a guy like that in my life,
too.

You had a bully?

Damn right.

Red Munley.

He smacked me around so much, I finally
begged him to let me beat myself up and

cut out the middleman.

for that? Yeah, for about 12 seconds,
then he beat the crap out of me.

Guys, what do the words mean to you?

This has nothing to do with being
chicken, Dan. It's not an intellectual

choice. It's a triggered response.

Right. Oh, I suppose you don't get
chills when you hear the words, I think

that's my husband at the door.

I can relate.

We're talking about a deep-rooted fear
here.

Yeah.

Hey, Harry.

Look, maybe he won't remember you.

Did I mention the last time Terry Boone
beat me up, they sent him to reform

school for a year?

Ooh, bullies don't like that.

Hold on a second. Let's look at this
thing logically. You're a grown-up judge

now, not a goofy 10-year-old with a
helicopter beanie.

How'd you know I had one of those?

Lucky guess.

Wait a minute. Hold on a second. Legal
technicalities to the rescue.

You know the guy. So you've got to
withdraw yourself from the case.

You're right.

You're right. I can't hear the case. I'm
prejudiced. Isn't that great news, Mac?

I'm prejudiced.

Well, not usually something to
celebrate.

But in this case, hey, congratulations.

All you do is hear the charges, hold him
over for another judge, and poof, he's

gone before he recognizes you.

Right.

Thanks, guys.

I feel a lot better now.

If anything happens, I got ten bucks on
the big guy.

All right, then. Due to extenuating
circumstances, I'm going to withdraw

myself from this case and hold it over
for the day shift. Your Honor, defense

would like to know what extenuating
circumstances you're referring to.

It's all right.

Kind of a guy thing.

I'll be happy to explain it later.

Your Honor, my client has a right to a
speedy trial. Defense requests an

answer.

Well, it's pretty complicated. I don't
want to bother the court with a lengthy

diatribe that has nothing to do with
jurisprudence. Your Honor, I mean no

disrespect, but that's never stopped you
in the past.

Christine.

Ixnay on the aisle tray.

Don't I know you?

Wait a minute.

Something's familiar.

Floppy hair.

That beady little face.

You guessed it. He used to be the little
boy on the Andy Griffith show.

Move it. His lobes are beginning to
function.

What's going on here? Christine, please.

Mr. Sullivan, I know what I'm doing.
Well, then will you explain it to me?

All right.

I can't hear the case.

Because I grew up with the defendant.

Now I remember.

They're Stone.

You're the little creep that got me put
in reform school.

Technically, Terry, it was you riding a
Schwinn over my neck.

That got me put in reform school.

Yeah. I owe you for that one, Harry
Stone.

Then I'm gonna get you for this one,
too!

Hold it!

Not this time, Terry!

Take him to...

Don't worry, sir.

I'm sure beneath that gruff exterior
beats the heart of a puppy.

Only if he swallowed one.

Excuse me. Miss Sullivan?

Yes. Hi, I'm Rose Minnick. The agency
sent me. Hi, nice to meet you. Won't you

please have a seat? Oh, thank you. This
is my friend, Roz. We'll be asking you a

few questions.

Okay. All right.

Let's see, Rose.

Um, do you drive? Of course, Miss
Sullivan.

Oh, good. Okay.

Ah, do you know First Aid? Yes.

Yes, I do. Excellent.

Okay. First Aid.

Rose, do you consider yourself to be
warm and friendly?

Absolutely, my dear.

Good. Oh, great.

Got any tattoos?

Three. Ever been in a slammer? Twice.
What's it go in price for a fit of

scotch? $17.95.

Hit the road, jerkweed.

You're incredible.

I know. I ought to be in personnel.

Well, if it isn't Judas in pantyhose.

Come on, Dan. That's not fair. I was
just doing my job.

I could tell that he was a sadistic,
psychotic monster. It just never

occurred to me he was a bully.

Well, he's a bully, all right. On the
way to holding, he said he was going to

hunt you down and make a wish with your
legs.

You know, in my career, I've encountered
a lot worse than Terry Banoon.

Killers. Terrorists.

Really cranky prostitutes.

Besides, he'll probably get six months.

Oh, Your Honor?

Would you be upset if I told you that
Banoon guy escaped from holding and is

hiding in the building?

Yes, Bull, I'd be very upset.

Mind telling him after I leave the room?

Security says they've got everything
under control. Why don't you guys go

back to lunch? I'm sure Banoon won't
even get this far.

Are you sure?

Because if he does, I know a pressure
point that'll either kill a guy or turn

him into Jerry Lewis.

You know something? We may need that
move.

This guy's been in prison so often, he's
got a timeshare at Attica.

Public news and street fighting. Seven
assaults, including punching a bus.

Doesn't mean he can't be reasoned with.

I've got an idea.

Why don't you go home? And if that bully
shows up, we can just tell him you had

the sniffles.

Christine, for just a minute, would you
stop being such a girl?

The Terry Banoons of this world don't
care about...

Sniffles.

Bad news, sir.

What? Your pal is on the rampage.

He knocked out two guards and went to
the morgue and slapped a dead guy.

This bully is cold.

On the 14th floor, he Xeroxed his
privates and gave copies to all the

secretaries.

We are dealing with a berserker here.

Although a berserker would be great use
for the copy machine.

He's only four floors away, sir.

And nobody knows where he's hiding.

You might want to reconsider those
sniffles.

I appreciate your concern, guys, but I
cannot give in to his kind of

intimidation. Now go back to lunch.

I'll be fine.

Okay. Be careful now.

Bull?

I'm not leaving, sir.

I consider it my bailiff's duty to
protect you.

Much like the nose hairs protect the
mucous membrane from the staphylococcus.

Flattered as I am by the analogy, Bull,
rest assured that I am not worried.

Okay.

Didn't you see?

If you rub their little cheek while they
take the bottle, it makes them want to

feed more, and it soothes them at the
same time.

I didn't know that. Sure.

You are so sweet, and I'd love to hire
you, but when I think of nannies, I

think of starched white aprons and
soothing soft hands and no chest hair.

I'm sorry.

Oh, that's okay, Miss Sullivan.

I guess I'll just get my old job back as
a midwife.

Thanks.

Well, maybe no for a nanny, but maybe
yes for Oz.

I just turned down my eighth applicant.

You think it's me?

I have heard that, uh, we can moms
sometimes feel guilty about leaving the

kids.

Yeah, so guilty that they try hard not
to find a good enough nanny.

So they have to stay home with the baby?

Bingo.

You're right.

Maybe I have been a little
overprotective.

Okay, you know what I'm going to do? The
very next nanny that walks in the door,

I'm going to hire her right on the spot.

Hi, my dearie.

Guess who made bail?

Hey, Harry.

Harry, we've got to start the session
soon. Oh, Matt.

Yeah.

He's been rearranging the furniture a
little.

Yeah.

Yeah, I see you doing the room in Modern
Fortress.

Any word on Benun?

Security figures he's still here hiding
somewhere.

Yeah, well, hide-and-seek was always his
favorite game.

Of course, with Terry, it's more like
hide-and-pulverize.

Harry, it's not like you to be afraid.

Terry Benoon isn't your average everyday
fear, Mac.

Oh, yeah?

How's that?

You know that my mom left when I was a
kid.

Yeah.

Well, I didn't react to it much at
first.

I suppose I was trying to convince
myself that I didn't really need her,

you know.

Anyway, a couple of months after she
left, Terry Benoon moved into the

neighborhood, and before long it was my
turn to face him on the playground.

I tried to fight him, Mac, but he was
too tough.

And when he finished pounding on me, he
said, now you get up, baby.

Go run home to Mommy.

And I ran home crying, half expecting
her to be there.

And she wasn't.

And that's when it hit me.

I never felt more hurt or more alone
than I did right then.

Well, I hope you realize you're not
alone anymore.

I figure a guy my age would know that by
now. Yeah.

You know, Harry, I only had two
semesters of psychology,

although I got A's both times.

My opinion is you are not afraid of that
bully.

I'm not? No.

You stood up to him then. You'd do it
now.

What you are afraid of is the memories
he brings back.

It's what they call a displacement
syndrome.

Yeah? Yeah.

Well, to be honest, I'm a little afraid
that he's going to displace my nose over

onto my cheek.

Hey, you can't stay cooped up in here
forever.

You're right, Mac.

I'm going out there now.

You gonna face Terry?

I guess so.

Mainly, though, I gotta hit the head.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Top another!

It doesn't help in your case, Terry.

You're destroying public property.

How about destroying a judge?

Just like old days, huh?

If you're looking for lunch money,
you're out of luck, pal.

I'm looking for you.

Why, Terry?

Do you even know why you're looking for
me?

Sure to settle a score.

Something that happened 25 years ago.

Something that you brought on yourself.
Look at us, man.

We're grown men. We're not kids pushing
in line at the movies.

That don't change the fact that I got
put in reform school.

All because of you, you little rat fink.

For something that you did to yourself.
Rat fink? Geez, Harry.

I haven't heard that word in 25 years.

That's the problem, man.

Nobody says rat fink anymore.

We all grew up.

But you missed the boat, pal.

You're still just the bully in the
bathroom.

Yeah.

You're right.

It's all his time.

That's all I am.

But I'm real good at it! And I'm gonna
reach down the wall with your face!

I don't know why you'd want to do that,
Terry. It looks fine to me.

You're making a mistake, man.

I'm an officer of the court. You assault
me, and you go to prison.

Well...

I better make it worth my while.

I'm just trying to help you. I mean
that. Mr. Grown-up. Mr. Big-shot Judge.

Mr. High and Mighty. You're just afraid.

And you gotta be.

Roger, baby.

Run home to mommy.

I'm not gonna run from you that time.

Because I know we can work this out I
don't think so

You're right

I didn't lay a hand on him.

That's the truth.

What do we do with him now?

Well, I guess we should call the
paramedics.

Yeah, I guess we should.

But first, let's pants him.

Really, I think your field artillery
experience is just wonderful.

I'm just looking for a nanny. Just a
plain, simple nanny.

Oh, um, dismissed.

You don't think I was too hard on her,
do you, Roth?

She detonates landmines for a living. I
think she can take it.

a city this size that there would be at
least one human being that knows enough

to care for a tiny, sweet-natured,
lovable baby boy?

Excuse me, Mom.

I think we found our nanny.