All language subtitles for S07E22 - Still another Day in the Life

Spring cleaning time already?

Actually, Christine's nesting.

In the final month of pregnancy, women
get an overpowering biological urge to

clean.

Well, that would explain this.

Bad news, sir.

They're repairing the floor in the court
upstairs.

And we get to do all their cases.

They're repairing the floor?

Yeah. That's funny. I didn't hear
anything.

I think I heard something.

I don't care what they're doing
upstairs. We can't handle all these

cases in one session. Judge?

Yes?

Please. Is there any chance I could get
out of here by midnight?

Well, that depends.

Mr... Veloric. Ben Veloric. Trust me.
I'm a swell, decent, good-hearted guy.

Don't listen to him.

He broke into my house.

That's not the Ben I know.

I didn't break in. I walked in. She just
had me arrested so I couldn't talk to

her daughter, Debbie.

There is nothing to talk about, Worm.

She's marrying Derek.

Who's Derek?

I am.

Handsome, isn't he?

I get that a lot.

Well, we'll try to keep our eyes off
you.

We're going to try to get everyone out
of here just as soon as we can.

He's number 242, sir.

Thursday soon enough?

No, no. He's taking her on a cruise at
midnight.

The captain's going to marry us at sea.

Hmm, isn't that romantic?

Sure, as long as no one gets thick all
over the bride.

Debbie can't marry him. She loves me.

You're living in a dream world, little
man.

She hasn't even heard from you in two
years. That's because you sent her to

Europe and intercepted all my letters. I
sent her away for her own good.

Judge, I ask you, would you rather spend
the next 40 years looking at this or

this?

I would hope I had a third choice.

Look, I'll plead guilty and pay the
maximum fine. Can't you just move my

case up earlier?

Not according to the law, he can't.

Tell him, Judge.

She's right.

Mean as a snake, but she's right. But if
I don't get out by midnight, I'll never

see Debbie again. I'm sorry. My hands
are tied.

Hey, don't worry.

I'll send you pictures from our
honeymoon.

I'm mounting a camera on our headboard.

You better go back to the ship.

I'll keep an eye on him and come over
before you sail.

I don't know about you, sir, but I'm
siding with the kid.

Well, geez, we'd really have to bust our
hump to get through those cases before

midnight. We can do it, sir.

What's more important than true love?

I mean, next to finding a cure for
seborrhea.

All right, let's give it a shot and hope
that everything goes smoothly.

People, this is a very serious charge.

I understand your desire to belong and
to wear the colors of your group, but

the people of this city have a right to
walk the streets without being harassed.

How do you plead?

Guilty! Guilty!

Guilty!

Three, five, seven, nine, $50 is your
fine.

If you choose to stay behind, show me
yours, I'll show you mine.

The guy in the black dress is mad at us.

Excuse me, sir.

No, she used to be like that just once a
month.

How much longer before we get to my
case?

Oh, listen, cheeseball, sir, your
girlfriend's getting married.

She'll still be available for nooners.

She's not that kind of girl, I tell you.
This is true love.

True love is never more than $50 away.

If you were smart, you'd take his
advice.

Debbie's getting married and there's
nothing you can do about it. You can't

stop it. I'll stop it. Debbie is going
to marry me.

You were all wrong for her.

You have no upbringing, no future, and
no chin.

Next case called Saunders and
Harrington.

Keep your filthy mind to yourself.

She was asking for it. Mr. Prosecutor?
Yes, sir. These three were attending a

psychic fair when Mr. Saunders claims
Mr. Harrington made a lewd advance on

his wife by telekinetically copying a
field.

Telekinetically? Yes, sir. My clients
claim they can move things with their

minds. He did it again!

You folks have had the misfortune of
coming before a judge who has some

expertise in this field. I know a fake
when I see one.

You doubt me?

Then watch.

I will levitate him.

It's not working.

Yes, it is.

You take that back or I'll bust your
jaw.

Oh, really?

Take that!

And that!

And that!

You want to fight dirty, eh?

Well, take that!

All right, that's enough.

Look, we needn't bother with the trial.
I predict he will find us guilty anyway.

Hardly takes a psychic to figure that
out. Guilty as charged.

And I find you...

$49.95.

Sorry, I couldn't buy your little
psychic powers bit, but I really

think... Prosecutor? Yes, Mr. Bidwell
was arrested for harassing

churchgoers as they were leaving St.
Patrick's Cathedral.

I would like to request a dismissal in
favor of a psychiatric abuser.

Grounds? My client thinks he's God.

That's not true.

Only a lunatic would think that.

I'm running for God.

So, do you plan on lightening up some of
those commandments?

Particularly the one about thy
neighbor's wife?

Consider it done.

Here's a God we can work with.

I think people are ready for new
leadership.

If elected, I promise to lengthen
lifespans and cut back on gravity. I

think you women will appreciate that.

If he wants my vote, I think he should
give cramps to men.

Mr. Midwell?

Bob?

Do you really think you could replace
God, the Supreme Being? After all, he

created the heavens and earth and life
itself.

So? Can he do this?

How are we doing?

Well, I got this nose hair that's
driving me nuts.

I meant about the cases.

Great news.

Only 197 to go.

Oh, I'll never get out of here. I gotta
get a message to Debbie.

Maybe I can help.

Now, we can't arouse suspicion.

So I'll rent a biplane, buzz the ship,
and drop leaflets in code that say,

every day call N-Bay.

Or... I could write a note, and you
could take it to her.

Okay, if you want to chance it.

I find you guilty of harassment, and
might I add, if you're hungry, go to a

restaurant for criminy's sake, or a
grocery store, but leave that poor bird

alone.

I appreciate your diligence in

tracking down overdue library books,
Mrs. Munson, but I'm afraid this time

you crossed the line.

I find you guilty of assault, but I will
suspend the sentence if you'll turn in

the weapon and give the gentleman back
his library card.

Harold T. Stone.

Didn't you check out a copy of Magic for
Beginners in 1959?

I'm sure I took that back.

You better... hope you did.

Mr.

Oseransky, your doctor evidently did a
competent job on your operation. You

can't withhold payment from him just
because you don't like his age.

Case dismissed.

Yes, you do, Loogie.

Hey, Judge.

You mind tossing that back up here?

Gals on girders. Would you call it? Get
back to work.

You don't have any authority over us.

Those guys are really beginning to tick
me off.

They printed my letter.

You know, I'm beginning to worry about
Christine.

I think this nesting of hers is
beginning to get out of hand.

Why do you say that?

Hey, Ben.

Surprise.

I guess I did a little better than just
delivering the message, huh?

That's not Debbie.

It's not?

Gee, you were right.

Sorry. Please return to your wedding and
live happily ever after.

Give it up, you twit.

Tomorrow, Debbie will be sharing a
stateroom with her new husband, Derek.

And you'll be darning a tank top for a
convict named Gus.

Sir, we've got to speed things up so we
can get out of here and stop that

wedding. Hey, there's only so much we
can do.

Oh, come on, Harry. Look how pathetic he
is.

Feeling rejected, unloved.

Yeah, you must know what that feels
like.

I mean, we all have someone in our past,
someone we've loved and lost.

Yeah, Sue Freitas.

In the third grade, she used to eat my
paste.

Boy, we do all have stories, huh?

I was 17.

I met her on summer vacation.

As I look back, it was the most
spiritual and significant relationship

of my life. Then all of a sudden, just
like that, she was gone forever.

What happened? The light changed?

I told you this before?

Oh, come on. Sir, we have a chance to
make Ben's life worth living again.

All right, let's do it.

We may fail, but we're going to go down
trying.

Lay on, McMuffin. All right. Next, we
have a mutual assault case. People

versus McCullough and Abraham.

I take it those two are not for real?

Well, these two certainly are.

All my lookalikes are top notch.

Look-alikes. I see they work for your
talent agency.

No, sir, they work for his massage
parlor.

You mean these girls are... The closest
thing you can get to having an actual

star oil up your cheeks.

So this is a simple assault case. Mr.
Abraham's business is irrelevant.

That's not true.

The fight started because Mr. McCullough
was unhappy with his... attendant.

They promised to fulfill my wildest
fantasies with a movie star. And look

what they gave me.

Your Honor, before you pass sentence, my
client would like to make a statement.

Okay, I did it.

But you gotta understand, she drove me
to it. I told her the risks, and she

laughed at me. She laughed and said I
was weak.

She made me do it, do you hear me? She
made me!

Okay,

guilty of littering, $10 fine.

I'm afraid you'll just have to go the
traditional route. No matter how well

trained he is, the subway can't take
all-seeing-eye pets.

Your Honor, Mr. Talbot had no excuse for
trashing that restaurant. They told him

before they hired him they had a policy
of not allowing facial hair.

This kind of behavior is not acceptable
anywhere.

But I would think as New Yorkers you
would have more respect for our city's

culture than to start a food fight at
the Metropolitan Opera.

Now who started it?

You know, I once had a girlfriend that
could hit those kind of notes.

Of course, it took me about 20 minutes
to get her there.

All right, I'll let you go if you
promise not to do this again.

She must apologize.

No way, he's telling lies.

Then I won't go.

It's 11 o'clock, and by my count, they
still have 43 cases to go before yours.

I guess we won't need to save you a
piece of wedding cake.

Mrs. Rollins, I hope you don't mind me
saying, but... Oh, excuse me.

A little lint.

I think your daughter could do a lot
worse than a guy like Ben.

I didn't send my daughter to Europe for
two years so she could marry a loser and

end up pregnant working in some dead-end
job like, well, like you.

Sir,

I say we take the bitch down.

Yes, sir.

Call Thompson and Murphy solicitation.

What can I say?

I'm from Idaho.

Guilty.

Not guilty.

Hell over.

Dismissed.

Gilding. Gilding. Gilding.

Gilding. Gilding.

Only two minutes left. How many cases
before then? Just one. Call Munder and

Ogden.

All right, this looks pretty simple.
Let's hear the evidence.

Oh, no, not now.

We'll just have to speak up.

Okay, Ms. Munder is a hooker.

What?

It's after midnight. The boat's sailed.

No. Yeah? Oh, it's over.

I've lost Debbie forever.

Ben, I know you feel bad now, but
believe me, someday you'll forget her.

Yes, I'll forget her.

When the world has stopped revolving and
my bones have rotted away.

I can't believe you're here.

We were just about to set sail when this
strange man came to my stateroom.

I swam to the ship, climbed over the
rail, and told security I was with the

band.

You said you wanted to see me. Yes, to
tell you that I still love you.

You do?

Ben, I love you, too.

So you want me back?

Yes.

late, Mrs. Rollins.

Debbie is going back to Ben.

Your what?

I love him.

Young lady, if you don't come with me
right now, I'm cutting off your trust

fund.

I don't care.

What these kids have is beautiful. It
can't be measured in dollars.

You'll never see a dime of that $12
million.

Sorry, Ben.

What? We've been back together for three
seconds and you're leaving me?

I know it seems flaky, but $12 million
is a lot of money.

But, Debbie, what about Ben?

What about the way you feel about it?
What about your plans?

What about the fact that I have $14
million?

What?

Yeah, my dad invented the beer hat.

People bought $14 million worth of those
dorky things?

Just think what we'll do now that
Eastern Europe has opened up.

Why didn't you tell us about this
before?

I guess I just wanted to find out if she
loved me for myself.

Now I guess you know all she cares about
is money.

Yeah.

So, Debbie, are we back on?

You mean you don't care that I'm shallow
and materialistic?

Hey, no. Just so long as you don't chunk
up.

After everything we've been through... I
don't believe them, too. This is

ridiculous.

What they have...

So beautiful.

Your Honor, they fixed that hole in the
ceiling. Great. I don't suppose they

bothered to clean up my courtroom.

They didn't have to.

Christine took care of that.

Christine?