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Harry, Harry, Harry, hey, look.
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Look at all of this great movie
memorabilia stuff I picked up for you.
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There's posters in here, a lobby card, a
velvet rope.
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Oh, that's very thoughtful of you, Dan.
I don't know what to say. Say a hundred
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00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:16,520
bucks and it's yours.
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Come on, you expect me to fork over?
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Look at this.
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This is an authentic old candy counter
hat from the Velasco.
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Hey, I was an usher at the Velasco when
I was a teenager.
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What a swell place.
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Crystal chandeliers, old statues, and
urinals so big you couldn't hit the top
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of you stood back and... I think we get
the picture.
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00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:46,850
You know, back in the 20s, if Alaska was
a vaudeville house, had every kind of
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actor. They had jugglers, magicians,
even had a horse on a high wire.
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Hope his trainer carried an umbrella.
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So why are they selling all this stuff?
Are they remodeling? Even better,
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they're tearing it down this week.
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Tearing it down? That's terrible.
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Yeah, whoever thought of that must be a
real moron.
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You've been pretty snooty since you
started walking upright, haven't you?
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It's being done by Fletco Developers, in
which I am a proud investor.
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Fletco, you've thrown in with those
lowlifes who take landmarks and parks
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and turn them into one-hour photo donut
video malls?
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Come on, they're going to tear the
theater down anyway.
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And this way I'm doing my part to save a
few of these little mementos for
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posterity. Hey, boss, here's the rest of
the stuff you bought from the Velasco.
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I've been looking for a nightlight for
my bedroom.
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No, no, you listen. You tell those jerks
that it's a grand old theater and they
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shouldn't tear it down.
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Oh, yeah? Well, I almost hung up on you
first.
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Hey, H, you wanted to see me?
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Yeah, Dan.
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I wanted to tell you that I'm going to
meet with the Velasco Preservation
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Society today and we're going to stop
you and those greedy developers.
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Oh, come on, Harry. Read a newspaper.
Even Gorbachev says it's okay to make a
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little profit.
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That's not the point. We can't keep
tearing things down just because they're
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old. What are you going to do next?
You're going to bulldoze Walter
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Cronkite?
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Your Honor, the Theater Preservation
Society is here. Great, Bull. Show them
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in.
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Could any of you boys tell me where I
could find Judge Larry Soames?
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You must mean me. I'm Judge Harry Stone.
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And you are? Looking for Larry Soames.
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Okay, I'm Larry Soames.
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Why the hell didn't you say so?
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I'm Pop Sturkin.
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Did I mention that yet?
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You may need a translator. You want me
to see if anybody in the building speaks
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old geezer?
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Wait a minute. Are you the... Pops
Durkin of Durkin and Flop? Don't mention
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him. I carried that no talent for 30
years.
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This guy is a comedy legend. You played
the Velasco, didn't you? You betcha,
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son. It's all right here. Every act that
ever played there. Now, that's me,
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the harmonica gauchos.
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O'Leary's raccoons?
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At the time, the only skating raccoons
in North America.
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And Vaudeville died?
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00:04:21,370 --> 00:04:24,870
Uh, sir, here are those files you wanted
to look over. Yeah, in a minute, Mac.
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We're coming up with a plan to save the
old Velasco. Oh, yeah? Now, in the 60s,
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we had live music, wild bebop groups.
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There's, uh, the Temptations, the Four
Tops, the Starlights.
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The Starlights?
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Boy, I remember the first time I danced
to their music.
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It was great until Mom turned her ankle.
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Well, I've got nothing better to do, but
I'm going to go do it anyway.
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00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:55,670
Now, in the 30s, we had strippers at the
Velasco.
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Tina and her doves.
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Boys, it's a magical sight to see five
doves remove a brassiere.
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00:05:03,330 --> 00:05:05,270
Well, that bird in the front sure looks
happy.
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00:05:06,150 --> 00:05:07,390
Wow, Tina looks pretty.
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Think she's still around today?
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Yeah, probably sweeping the floor with
her tassel.
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I frequently shut down my heart for
maintenance.
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00:05:40,710 --> 00:05:41,810
So what you doing? Huh?
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00:05:42,310 --> 00:05:44,570
Uh, uh, nothing. Nothing.
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Oh, I was just, uh, counting these
chairs.
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00:05:51,370 --> 00:05:52,510
Of course.
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There's always been four.
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Well, that checks with my figures.
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What's this?
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Huh?
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00:05:59,470 --> 00:06:03,930
Oh, the Starlines. They were my favorite
oldies group. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. You
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know, I used to know all their names.
Let's see.
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00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:10,320
That one's rocky, and that one's sunny,
and... Gosh, he looks familiar. Who is
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that? I forget.
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What? That... It's you!
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What? That looks nothing like me.
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Mac, I'm talking about him.
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Oh, well, that's me, sure.
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It's unbelievable. You used to sing,
what, the Starlight? Oh, Christine, it
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was a long time ago before they became
famous. We all grew up in the same
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neighborhood. Well, Mac, this is
fascinating. Don't you miss...
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Well, I suppose.
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But look, we went our separate ways.
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It's all water under the bridge to me.
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Yeah, I guess we all have our painful
tales of roads not taken.
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I once foolishly passed up the chance to
be Buffalo's darch queen.
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Don't look back, Christine.
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We all get angry, Mr. Timmons, but that
does not give you the right to venture
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frustrations on a customer in your
barber shop.
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the list of the old performers I
contacted, sir.
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The Tapping Tortonis, Roy the Human
Vacuum Cleaner.
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Roy, now there was a trooper in his
prime. He could do five shows a day in
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an area rug during lunch.
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What happened to Tina and her dove?
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Oh, I'm sorry, sir. She's a no-show.
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She said the only things that bump and
grind anymore are her knee joints.
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Well, even without Tina, we're going to
have one heck of a press conference.
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Who's having a press conference? We are.
We're going to stop Dan and those
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parasites from tearing down the...
Glasgow.
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So you're determined to stand in the way
of progress, huh?
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Dan, I wouldn't call an all-night
T-shirt shop a giant leap for mankind.
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All night?
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Harry, no, your problem is you can't let
go of the past.
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What are you talking about? I'm a 90s
kind of guy.
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1890s, maybe.
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Yeah? And you're the guy who wants to
tear down a Renaissance cathedral to put
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up a donut shop.
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Don't be ridiculous.
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Yogurt. That's where the money is.
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Another big hand for that great old
vaudeville performer, Fire Eater in
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Thunder.
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Wow, wasn't that great, Ross?
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Yeah, who'd have thought denture cream
was flammable?
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And now, another performer who is a part
of the heritage of this grand old
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theater, performing his classic sketch,
The Bellboy and the Death... clerk,
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please welcome comedy great Pops Durkin.
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Oh, bellboy.
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Oh, bellboy.
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Yes, sir.
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Miss Hockenhauser has a large rear room.
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You bet she does.
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00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,840
She's in town for the pottery
convention.
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00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,200
Would you mind...
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believe I get paid for this job.
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Who?
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What's your next line?
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If it's my line, why are you saying it?
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Can we have this conversation later?
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Oh, forget it. I hate working with
amateurs.
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Oh, please.
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Get out of the business, Soames. Your
box office poison.
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I'm sorry, sir, I took this upon myself,
but frankly, you were dying here.
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He's the one who forgot his line.
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Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the
world's...
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Until you showed up here. In your face,
man. In your face.
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00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:57,250
At that point, the press conference
deteriorated into
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a shouting match.
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00:11:03,470 --> 00:11:06,370
I've never been so humiliated in my
entire life.
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00:11:07,130 --> 00:11:10,290
How about that time you spoke to the
League of Women Voters and your fly was
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open?
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00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,220
still going to be destroyed.
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00:11:15,380 --> 00:11:20,120
And in a late-breaking development,
moments before the wrecking ball was to
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begin demolition of the theater, a New
York man has chained himself to the
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doors and has refused to move.
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00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:38,440
And so as darkness sets in, the wrecking
ball remains held at bay by this brave
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man, who some are beginning to call
Baldy the Bailiff.
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00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:47,000
Mr. Shannon, how long do you think you
can hold out?
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With a border party?
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Indefinitely.
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00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:52,020
And without one?
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Maybe a week.
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00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,740
I think America needed to know that.
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With me now is Fletco President Mr.
Lawrence Farrington, who has set the
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deadline of midnight to begin wrecking
around Mr. Shannon.
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00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:12,300
You know, on the Spanish channel,
they're calling him El Estupido Grande.
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00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:22,080
happy, Dan. You and your money-grubbing
friends are about to pulverize bull.
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00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:25,120
Well, wait a minute. I don't make
decisions for this company. I'm an
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average stockholder. I send in my
proxies to elect a board hoping they'll
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make me a reasonable profit.
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00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,340
It's called blind faith in the big
greedy guys.
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00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:34,919
That's it.
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00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,240
That's it. If we could talk enough of
the stockholders into sending us their
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00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:41,220
proxies, then we could force Farrington
to call off the demolition.
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00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:42,620
That would be nice.
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00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,280
It would also be nice if the meat in my
freezer turned into Eddie Murphy.
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00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:55,240
We'll get Bull to make a plea on
television, then the sock holders will
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call us.
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00:12:56,180 --> 00:12:59,500
You're putting a lot of faith in a man
whose lips move while he thinks.
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It'll work. I know it will.
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00:13:03,140 --> 00:13:08,520
All the average Joes, the little guys,
Sam the druggist and Dave the butcher,
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00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:13,840
joining together with their proxies to
stop the cold-hearted developers.
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00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,520
You know, Harry, if you weren't born,
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Walt Disney would have had to draw you.
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00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:30,990
I'm sorry my little surprise upset you
so much.
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00:13:31,290 --> 00:13:34,110
I was just sure it was going to be like
one of those sweet, this is your life
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00:13:34,110 --> 00:13:35,370
reunions. Oh, yeah?
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00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:39,090
Well, why didn't you invite the sweet
girl who stood me up for the prom?
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00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:43,710
Or the real sweet army recruiter who
talked me into being all I could be?
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00:13:45,510 --> 00:13:49,010
Mac, I'm sensing there's some unfinished
business here. You're damn right there
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00:13:49,010 --> 00:13:52,290
is. Just before they hit it big, the
starlights dumped me.
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00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:54,350
Really? Yeah.
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00:13:54,530 --> 00:13:57,190
Why? Well, I was a lot younger than the
guys.
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00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:02,500
Everybody said I was better looking and
more charming than they were.
196
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,500
I didn't say it. Everybody did.
197
00:14:07,420 --> 00:14:09,220
So you're saying they were jealous?
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00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:13,980
Look, all I know is they go to work in
goal of May, and I'm wearing earmuffs on
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00:14:13,980 --> 00:14:14,980
the subway.
200
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:19,460
You know, Mac, I felt exactly the same
way when I was kicked off the pep squad.
201
00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:23,660
They cleaned out my locker. They took
away my pom-poms. Christine, I don't
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00:14:23,660 --> 00:14:24,660
care.
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00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,240
is I have been mad ever since.
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00:14:30,580 --> 00:14:34,320
I don't listen to rhythm and blues and I
can't even watch those little dancing
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raisins.
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00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,340
We don't have all night.
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00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,560
Is Mac going to apologize or not?
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00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:45,520
You told these guys I was going to
apologize to them? Well, Mac, I just
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00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,580
thought maybe... They stabbed me in the
back. What?
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00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:48,900
What's his problem?
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00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:53,520
Well, I think Mac is feeling a little
rejected and maybe a little... Picked
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00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,560
off. These guys dropped me for no
reason.
213
00:14:56,940 --> 00:14:58,140
What are you talking about? He quit.
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00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,800
Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's right.
215
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:02,740
So you quit. Quit how?
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00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:06,480
I just took some time off to finish high
school. When I came back a year later,
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00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:08,060
they acted like they never heard of me.
218
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:12,160
Well, that wasn't very nice, guys. We
gave him tickets to our show. Mm-hmm.
219
00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:13,260
Yeah. That's right.
220
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:16,220
You tell him I didn't want the damn
tickets.
221
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:19,320
Well, apparently, Mac wasn't really
interested. Yeah, and tell him I wanted
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00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,320
to be back on the stage.
223
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:23,920
From what I can gather from Mac... Tell
him I wanted to be back with the group.
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00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:26,600
Mac.
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00:15:27,210 --> 00:15:28,210
Tell him yourself.
226
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:33,790
You never told us you wanted back in.
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00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:38,010
Well, I thought you'd get the hit after
I showed up wearing a spangly tux.
228
00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:40,930
We thought you were just styling.
229
00:15:41,790 --> 00:15:43,070
Yeah, that's right.
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00:15:44,490 --> 00:15:46,150
Yeah, well, I wasn't.
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00:15:47,150 --> 00:15:51,050
Here you guys went on to become rich and
famous, and the biggest thrill I get is
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00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:52,690
going a day without a paper cut.
233
00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:56,740
Well, Mac, it wasn't all glamour for us
either.
234
00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:58,500
It's tough on the road.
235
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,520
Oh, yeah, I'm crying for you.
236
00:16:01,140 --> 00:16:05,300
I bet you guys rake it in. Yeah, and we
shovel it right back out. We got
237
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:06,640
managers and road expenses.
238
00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:08,300
We don't do it to get rich.
239
00:16:08,580 --> 00:16:13,100
We do it because we love it. And if you
loved it, you'd have kept singing with
240
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:15,740
or without us. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and that's
right.
241
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,260
Yeah, maybe you're right.
242
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,960
I made my choice a long time ago.
243
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,360
Look, will you guys forgive me for being
such a fool?
244
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:28,820
I think so.
245
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,520
Hey,
246
00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:33,380
look, why don't we go get something to
eat? You bet. All right.
247
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:34,960
It is your turn to pay.
248
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,880
The hell it is. I paid the last time.
249
00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:38,520
But that was 20 years ago.
250
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:40,500
Oh, man, I'm not paying.
251
00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:42,640
Well,
252
00:16:43,340 --> 00:16:44,780
thank you very much for your proxies.
253
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:46,360
What's that?
254
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,560
No, no one has ever told me that I sound
like a young Cesar Romero.
255
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:54,190
You've got two hours left. What have you
scraped together so far?
256
00:16:55,350 --> 00:16:58,190
633 proxies and a hide-a-bed if we pick
up.
257
00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:03,210
Harry, to get a voting majority, you
need 20,000 proxies.
258
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,030
20,000?
259
00:17:05,490 --> 00:17:08,829
600 won't even save the handle on the
ladies' room door, which, by the way, I
260
00:17:08,829 --> 00:17:09,829
bought.
261
00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:11,810
It's hopeless.
262
00:17:12,230 --> 00:17:14,990
We tried our best, but we lost.
263
00:17:15,690 --> 00:17:16,690
Not entirely.
264
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:18,450
I've been looking for a hide-a-bed.
265
00:17:19,950 --> 00:17:22,670
I guess I ought to go tell Bullitt it's
time to throw in the towel.
266
00:17:24,089 --> 00:17:25,510
Harry, listen, it was a noble effort.
267
00:17:26,030 --> 00:17:29,350
Dan, I decided that if it had made a
difference in turning the tide, I was
268
00:17:29,350 --> 00:17:31,090
prepared to give you my entire
portfolio.
269
00:17:31,810 --> 00:17:34,290
That's very generous, Dan. How many
proxies do you have?
270
00:17:34,490 --> 00:17:36,130
Way over four.
271
00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:40,230
Five.
272
00:17:42,310 --> 00:17:46,150
That's not the point. Your determination
has made me respect your viewpoint. As a
273
00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:48,330
matter of fact, now I'm sorry to see
that the Velasco's falling.
274
00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:49,750
Ready to go, boss.
275
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:54,790
Great idea of yours, burrowing through
the rubble to get more collectibles.
276
00:17:55,330 --> 00:17:57,950
Phil, do you remember that little talk
we had about discretion?
277
00:17:59,350 --> 00:18:01,390
I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut your
pay in half.
278
00:18:09,650 --> 00:18:12,490
Gee, it was a foot long, too.
279
00:18:16,010 --> 00:18:22,440
And so here he stays, this... jumbo,
gentle, genial giant, challenging the
280
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:26,200
corporate world, singing his heartfelt
songs of protest.
281
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:32,100
John Jacob, Jacob Heinrich Smith, that's
my name too.
282
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:37,580
Starrington, hold on. So, haven't you
got somebody else to annoy?
283
00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:40,860
I'm asking you one last time to
reconsider.
284
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:44,820
This isn't just bricks and mortar that
you're knocking down here.
285
00:18:45,340 --> 00:18:48,240
People laughed in there. They cried in
there.
286
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,380
Babies were born in the balcony.
287
00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:53,080
A lot of them were conceived up there,
too.
288
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:58,420
What do you say?
289
00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:02,280
I say, when the mall opens, yogurt's on
me.
290
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:04,400
Okay, Vito!
291
00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:06,500
Let's get that wrecking ball swinging!
292
00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:15,260
My bridge group and I have been watching
this, and we hate to see you wreck this
293
00:19:15,260 --> 00:19:19,420
place. I don't have time for this, lady.
Hey, let her talk.
294
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:24,720
As a young girl, I met a very special
young man here during a movie.
295
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:28,780
We talked, we laughed, we shared our
popcorn.
296
00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:33,740
And I'll bet you and that young man fell
in love, got married, and you stayed by
297
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,800
his side till his dying day.
298
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,440
Nah, he just wanted a cheap feel.
299
00:19:44,620 --> 00:19:47,500
One of the best times I've ever had.
300
00:19:49,540 --> 00:19:51,020
Brings a tear to my eye.
301
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:57,080
Anyway, my bridge group and I have a few
proxies we'd like to give you, Judge.
302
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:58,680
Very touching.
303
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,760
I mean, how many proxies can a bunch of
old card-playing biddies have, huh?
304
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,060
19,360.
305
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,160
What? From a bridge club?
306
00:20:08,420 --> 00:20:10,840
We don't play bridge, Buster.
307
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,500
We build them.
308
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,660
With what we've already got, we're only
seven proxies short.
309
00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:23,120
The operative word is short, Stone.
310
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,140
Yeah, and you promised us your five.
311
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:29,120
Well, yeah, I mean, if it'd have put you
over the top. Damn, you were so close.
312
00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:31,700
Damn.
313
00:20:32,380 --> 00:20:33,380
Okay.
314
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,420
I guess I could give you my two proxies.
315
00:20:37,860 --> 00:20:40,740
Your two proxies? What the hell are you
talking about, your flea farm?
316
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,060
I bought these shares for a rainy day.
317
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:48,000
You know, in case I was ever a little
down on my luck.
318
00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:51,380
Thank you, Phil.
319
00:20:53,380 --> 00:20:56,520
Dan, I guess your five are going to make
the difference after all.
320
00:20:56,940 --> 00:20:58,660
Oh, well, I changed my mind.
321
00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:01,800
Dan, you promised.
322
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,160
Did I make eye contact?
323
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:06,880
Yes, you did.
324
00:21:09,260 --> 00:21:10,720
All right, all right, all right, here.
325
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:14,720
Mr. Farrington?
326
00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:16,980
Yogurt this.
327
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,500
People like you take the fun out of
demolition.
328
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,020
Shut it down, Vito.
329
00:21:24,220 --> 00:21:25,220
Yes!
330
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,000
Bull! You big lovable lug, you did it!
331
00:21:29,340 --> 00:21:33,460
Oh, it wasn't only me, Your Honor. Oh,
don't you be modest, big guy. Thanks to
332
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:38,800
you, another generation of popcorn rats
is gonna be able to love this majestic
333
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:39,800
old theater.
334
00:21:41,180 --> 00:21:42,960
Majestic? That's right.
335
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,480
I was an usher at the Majestic.
336
00:21:48,780 --> 00:21:50,880
I've never been to the Velasco in my
life.
337
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:54,920
What are you doing, Rod?
338
00:21:57,540 --> 00:21:59,580
Yeah, well, there she is.
339
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,800
There's some good memories here, huh?
340
00:22:03,860 --> 00:22:06,460
Five of us really brought down the
house.
341
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,920
Yeah, and as I recall, you brought down
some jealous husbands, too. Yeah.
342
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,080
That's true.
343
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,860
Why don't we say we sang one together?
Just for old time's sake. Oh, no, no,
344
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,820
no. My voice is way out of shape.
345
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,380
But that never stopped you before.
346
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:21,640
Well, now, that's true.
347
00:22:22,260 --> 00:22:23,260
All right.
348
00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:27,240
In the steel...
27468
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