All language subtitles for S05E03 - Death of a Bailiff

Ah, there's nothing like a thunderstorm.

It's probably the most awesome spectacle
of nature.

Obviously, you've not seen me in my new
fishnets.

Hey, gang, look, the new computers are
here. Aren't you excited?

Yeah, it's all I can do to keep my
breakfast down.

Oh, come on, guys, so you might have to
do a little bit of adjusting, but

believe me, everybody's going to love
these things.

I want that appliance from hell off my
desk now.

Come on, this thing's going to be a
great help. I'm sure the city has bought

us the finest equipment, and they're
having it installed by top-notch

experts.

Computer travel coming through!

Experts who apparently have taken the
day off.

Okay, both, if you can hear me, talk on
the line.

Sir, I gotta get a line to the top of
the roof, and Bull's the only one

willing to climb up the side of the
building.

Why don't you use the stairs?

Oh, sure.

Where were you an hour ago?

Bull, reel it in.

Come on, Mac, let's fire the puppy up.

I'd rather suck on a brillo pad, sir.

Come on, there's nothing to it. Take it
one step at a time. Just push that

button.

Gee, and I was worried.

It's just a machine.

Oh, Harry, I miss my paper files.

I miss my clipboards.

I miss my pencils.

I know you do, guy, but they're gone.

Still, life must continue.

We must move on. Come on, let's do it
together.

Come on.

Let's push the button.

Come on.

People versus Pac-Man, sir.

Well, it saved you a quarter already.

Just watch.

Art, let me explain something to you. I
am a judge. This is my bench. This is my

courtroom. This is my gavel. Now, when
you come into the courtroom and you see

Mr. Judge at Mr.

Bench with Mr. Gavel, you have to ask
yourself a question.

Silently. Is what I have to say
important enough to justify the five

days in jail I'm going to get?

for disrupting the judge's courtroom.

Now that we've had our little lesson,
tell me, Art, is what you have to say

that important?

Bull was just hit by a bolt of
lightning.

You're right, I should have waited.

Art, what do you mean Bull was hit by
lightning?

I mean Bull, lightning, fried bailiffs.

Where is he now, Art? He's in your
office with the doc.

Bull!

Mind if I smoke?

That depends.

What did he look like before?

Just like that.

Well, then he's fine.

Spooky, but fine.

Fine? Art said his heart stopped
beating.

Yes, for a few minutes he was clinically
deceased.

But I'm feeling much better now.

Really, you look dead on your feet.

Come on, if we can't laugh at the
walking dead, who can we laugh at?

It's a miracle he wasn't even hurt.

With the voltage he absorbed, it must
have been like French kissing a light

docket.

No, that feels different.

Mr. Shannon, you're fine.

Where do you think you're going?

I've got a lance to boil.

Want to help?

Didn't you do something?

Like what?

I don't know. What do you usually do
when something like this happens to a

patient? Bury him.

Well, I'm ready to go back to work.

Well, maybe you ought to take it easy
for a while, huh? It's probably not a

good idea to be back up on your feet so
soon after dying.

But I'm really fine. I just want to get
back to work.

Oh, come on, Harry. Give a freak a
chance.

Well, okay.

if you think you got the energy.

Yeah, I guess the old spark's still
there.

Well, I'm sure you consider delivering
hookers to shut-ins a public service,

but I'm afraid I'm going to have to shut
down your little squeals on wheels

program. That'll be a $75 fine, and
don't forget to buckle up.

Matt, did you get that sentence?

No. But I did register his China pattern
at Bloomingdale's.

Mac, Mac, Mac, are we going to get this
thing going before the end of session?

Well, I can try one more thing. Let me
see.

Mm-hmm.

That did it.

Great. What do you got?

A DC-10 over LaGuardia, sir.

Are those things fun or what?

Sir, I'm not sure that Bull's totally
all right. Why do you say that?

I don't know. He's just sort of standing
there humming.

Cindy Hampton with the secretarial pool?

Oh, yeah? I've taken a few dips in there
myself.

I'm collecting for Maggie Collins.

Oh, didn't you hear? She had a baby.

Is it mine?

Fine, fine, fine, fine. Here.

Happy?

Quarter.

Great. She can wash a whole diaper.

Excuse me.

Would it be all right if I contributed,
too?

Fifty dollars?

Well, that's very generous. But why?

You don't even know her.

I was a little baby once myself.

Your mother must be very proud of you.

Assuming she survived.

That was so sweet.

Wasn't that nice?

Well, I guess Bull's just grateful to be
alive, and he wants to help other people

that are needy and bald.

occupied, so what do you say we try this
the old-fashioned way, huh?

Yes, sir. Next case?

You're gonna give me your car?

Yes, ma'am. Here's the registration.

Bless you.

Uh, Bull?

Did you actually just give your car to
the lady of stain over there?

Bull, charity is a wonderful thing, but
don't you think giving your car away is

a little...

So to speak.

That's just the beginning, Your Honor.

The beginning?

I have to give away everything I own.

Well, what do you mean you have to?

Because God told me to.

Gee, and I was impressed when I met
Trini Lopez.

had a chance to calm down, so let's just
discuss the situation rationally.

You talked to God?

I met him when I was dead.

Well, not on a first-name basis or
anything.

Come on, well, how did you know it was
him? Did he have a little tag on his

coat that said, Hi, I'm the Supreme Big?

I knew you wouldn't believe me.

No, no, Paul, it's not that we don't
believe you, it's just that the whole

thing is a little difficult to
understand.

But why don't you try to tell us?

Well, it's kind of hard to describe.

First, there was this really bright
light.

You know, like when you stare into a
spotlight for six hours?

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah.

Well, there I was in heaven.

I was just about to get up and go look
for Skippy, my dead puppy, when I heard

God.

That's when he told me that my work
wasn't finished yet, and I should go

back and give everything I have to the
poor.

Bull, are you sure he said you should
give everything away?

Yeah, Bull, exactly what did the big guy
say to you?

God said, Bull, your work's not finished
yet.

Give to the poor, and thou shalt have
treasures in heaven.

That does sound like him.

Maybe there is something to this after
all. Yeah, you know, he does have an

awfully strange look on his face. It's
almost as if he's been imbued.

You mean barbecued.

Dan, don't you have any faith?

Don't you believe that there are some
things in this world so incredible that

they have to be the result of a higher
power?

Finally got that computer problem
cleared up. No.

Yeah. Really? Uh-huh. What'd you do? I
just took all that air traffic control

stuff and just wiped it right off the
screen.

You should see the looks on their faces.

Well, how are you going to live without
money?

God will provide.

Yeah, I'm sure he will, but in the
meantime, I think you're making a hasty

decision.

I respect your judgment, Harry, but I've
got a ruling from a higher court.

He talked to Wapner?

Hey, Ross, how's Bull doing today?

Oh, he's fine. Had kind of a rough
night, though. Oh, really?

Never wear polyester underwear if you're
going to be hit by lightning.

Hey, what are all these people doing in
line for the cafeteria?

Must be the monthly changing of the
meatloaf.

Oh, my God.

200. There you go. And I hope the pawn
shop didn't sell your monkey. Number 42.

Hey, Bull.

How's it going?

Fast, Your Honor.

There's a lot of needy people out there.

Get out of line, Dan.

Disgusting display of greed I've ever
seen in my life.

What gave me away, the hat?

Before he goes broke, maybe we can get
an injunction or something.

An injunction against God?

It's no crime to give away money.

Max! What?

Where are you going?

Oh, I'm going to go fix that computer.

Wait a minute, Mac. We don't want to do
anything hasty. Oh, yes, we do, sir.

Listen, you give me Mr.

Axe, and I promise we will fix our
friend the computer.

Come on, Mac, give it one more chance.
Come on.

Come on, come on. Okay, okay, one more
chance.

But then it's goodbye, Mr.

Microchips.

What's with Bull?

Gets hit by a bolt of lightning and all
of a sudden comes Mr.

Popularity?

No, this is pretty serious, Art. He's
giving away everything he owns.

Boy, anything to get out of helping me
lay cable.

And after he promised to do all my work
here on Earth.

He promised what?

Yesterday on the roof as he was coming
to, he says, I shall do all thy work

here on Earth.

I guess that doesn't apply to snake and
cable.

Art, what exactly happened yesterday?

You see, at first I didn't know he was
hit.

Bull feeding me cable, right?

All of a sudden it stops.

I give him a call on a walkie-talkie, no
answer.

I thought it was just a line that was
dead.

So I look to the roof, and there's Bull,
sprawled out, steaming like a cow pie in

a snow bank.

And that's when he tells me he's going
to do all my work.

Art, can you remember exactly what you
said to Bull while he was dead?

Well, I said I needed 11 more feet of
cable.

You see, the code for the building
specifies that... Art!

All right.

I said, Bull, your work is not finished
yet.

What else could you say, Art?

Give me some more.

I'll shout when it measures 11.

Give me some more.

Give to the poor.

I'll shout when it measures 11.

And thou shalt have treasures in heaven.

By Jove, I think you've got it.

Dear God, he heard art.

And he's been giving away thousands of
dollars.

On the word of a man who cleans his ears
with a drill bit.

See, that reminds me.

We've got to go follow him. Paul, the
money isn't... Oh, God.

You gave it all away?

All except $100 for grocery.

But it's okay.

The joy of giving has made me rich
beyond the need for money.

That's sick.

Do you remember how you told us that
yesterday God talked to you?

Well, I don't know how to tell you this,
but the voice you heard was art.

You mean art is God?

Well, now it makes sense.

Our Father who is art in heaven.

What you heard was Art talking to you
through the walkie-talkie. He was asking

you to give him more cable.

You just heard him wrong.

You misunderstood.

Yes, I think it's starting to sink
through the first four or five layers.

Oh, my God, it smelled like tidy bowl.

Oh, Bull, I'm so sorry.

How much did you give away?

My entire life savings.

$27,516.37.

Excuse me a moment.

Oh, he'll be okay.

guy who's given away all his money he's
not here besides the money's all gone oh

that's too bad i was kind of counting on
him what do you need money for

oh my son's coming home from the service
i'd like to get home to see him but it's

in south carolina i don't have bus fare

Here.

You're the guy.

Gee, I don't know what to say.

God bless you.

I won't hold my breath.

Tough habit to break, huh?

Giving, that is.

Eh, what the heck, a hundred bucks, I
figured I'd make it a clean sweep.

Listen, Bull, I know that the last 24
hours have been a little, uh, well,

tense for you.

You heard about my polyester underwear.

And what with this money thing, I
imagine you're feeling really stupid,

huh?

Thanks. I feel much better now.

Sorry.

Last night I thought a miracle happened.

What a chump.

A miracle did happen.

All right.

Poof. The vanishing bank account.

I'll tell you what the miracle was.

Bull Shannon is a lot.

And there's a lot of people around here
who are very happy for that miracle.

Thank you, Harry.

How do you feel?

Medium rare.

Anything I can do for you?

I think I just want to be alone.

That, my friend, is something you will
never be.

Hi.

Um, I don't want to complain or
anything.

But I just don't get it.

I mean, I've had tough times before, and
I always accepted it cheerfully.

Even when I got my head stuck in that
ice machine.

But this one's a little hard to take.

I mean, it's not the money.

Okay, it's the money.

Don't get me wrong.

I am glad to be alive.

But I worked hard all my life to save.

Now it's all gone.

And for what?

Well, I guess I did help those people.

And nothing I ever did felt so good.

I guess...

Helping other people is the way we get
close to you.

I've been talking to you all my life.

It made me feel so good to think that
just once, you talk back.

I guess I should know by now you don't
work that way.

But sometimes I wish you could give me a
little time.

Just so I know you're listening.

Mr. Bull Shannon?

What? Bob Miller, with the city
controller's office.

Would you sign this, please?

What is it?

It's a release form stating that the
city is not at fault for the electrical

incident you had on city property. It
stipulates that you agree not to sue the

city in exchange for a settlement of...

$25,000.

$25,000?

Okay, $27,500, but that's our final
offer.

But this means that you'll be waiving
any future claim against the city. By

signing this, you acknowledge that your
accident was an act of God.

Where do I sign? Right here.

Well, I guess that's legal here you go

Thank

you

You're

welcome

And sorry about the underwear.