Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:09,720
You're looking very thoughtful,
Truly.
2
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:15,140
Like you're thinking about life
and death and what it's all about.
3
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:20,760
Actually, I was thinking about how
much I like a kipper for breakfast,
4
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,340
but they tend to repeat.
5
00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:27,540
There you are, you see?
Why do kippers repeat?
6
00:00:27,540 --> 00:00:31,700
It's a fundamental
philosophical problem.
7
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:34,780
What did Bertrand Russell
say about it?
8
00:00:34,780 --> 00:00:37,820
He mixed with the Left,
as you know,
9
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:41,200
so, naturally,
he blamed the Americans.
10
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,360
Did you ever
have a kipper for breakfast?
11
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:49,780
Yes, I did once. It was
on honeymoon. We were at a hotel.
12
00:00:49,780 --> 00:00:54,760
I thought, "Why not?
Everything else is weird."
13
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:59,780
I had a digestive system like an
incinerator. I could eat anything.
14
00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:03,840
You had to in the police.
You ate when you could.
15
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:09,360
First week, I lost my appetite, but
after that I could digest concrete.
16
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:13,820
Just as well, as that was what
the former Mrs Truelove did best.
17
00:01:54,800 --> 00:02:00,320
Truly, a woman's looking for you.
Tell her I had one.
It didn't work out.
18
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:05,160
She was ringing your bell. That's
gone too, along with the kippers.
19
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:08,960
How comes no woman's ever looking
for me?
20
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,920
There was that traffic warden.
21
00:02:13,020 --> 00:02:15,400
You met a traffic warden?!
22
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,840
She gave me a ticket.
23
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:23,320
She hadn't known you two minutes
and she's sending you little notes.
24
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:29,960
What did she look like, this woman?
Your age, fancy glasses, blue hair.
25
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:35,200
Could be a disguise. Did she have
a beard? She didn't have a beard.
26
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:39,800
You can't be too careful. Not
if they're going to have beards.
27
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:44,080
I wouldn't mind one with blue hair.
YOU wouldn't mind one with a beard.
28
00:02:55,800 --> 00:03:01,080
I need a new sport. No, you don't.
You need an old sport, like me.
29
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:05,880
I'm just looking for an alternative
to golf. That's what worries me.
30
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:09,980
I know what men do
as an alternative to golf.
31
00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:14,840
I'm not getting anywhere at golf.
I keep falling out with the captain.
32
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:19,840
I'm going to try something new.
Why are you so restless, Barry?
33
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:24,440
I thought all that would stop when
you got your hand-held computer.
34
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:28,480
I need a challenge.
A man needs a challenge.
35
00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:32,380
I missed two world wars -
I ought to do SOMETHING.
36
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:35,020
Is it ME?!
37
00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:41,260
Am I losing attraction for you?
You know
you're not losing attraction for me.
38
00:03:41,260 --> 00:03:44,540
If the magic's gone, Barry,
tell me.
39
00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:48,160
Don't just let me
keep buying new underwear.
40
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,520
Going somewhere?
41
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,320
I was just checking the dampcourse.
42
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:16,160
Not bad for the spur of the moment.
43
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:21,600
It's just a shame we haven't got
a dampcourse. Where are you going?
44
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:27,300
I thought I might ask Cleggy about
who could give us a dampcourse.
45
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,880
Say what you like about marriage -
46
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:34,360
it's made you think faster
on your feet than you used to.
47
00:04:47,180 --> 00:04:52,300
So I was referred here. People
said you'd know, if anyone did.
48
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:55,740
Did they say there'd be a charge?
A charge?!
49
00:04:55,740 --> 00:05:00,140
I can't give out personal details.
It's an invasion of privacy.
50
00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:02,400
I don't want him invaded!
51
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:08,440
He's not in.
I want to know where his friends
live. They might know where he is.
52
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,440
Friends as well? That'll be extra.
53
00:05:12,940 --> 00:05:16,840
Now, you'll want Norman Clegg...
54
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,360
..at this address.
55
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:27,320
He'll know
where your Mr Herbert Truelove is.
56
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:32,460
Can you confirm that it's true -
that he's actually living alone?
57
00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:35,060
That he's not married any more?
58
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:37,840
That I COULD confirm...
59
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:41,200
I mean,
could you confirm it for free?
60
00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:47,280
Oh, all right. That's on the house.
I shall be awake all night now.
61
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:55,480
I'm looking for a few volunteers
for a fascinating game of survival.
62
00:05:55,480 --> 00:06:00,700
In the woods...pitting your survival
skills against a concealed enemy.
63
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:03,380
Hey, people use rifles!
64
00:06:03,380 --> 00:06:10,120
They shoot little pellets of paint
at each other. Phut! Phut! Phut!
Sounds irresistible.
65
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:14,300
What colour?
What's it matter what colour?!
66
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:17,820
I thought it might be nice
to pick a colour.
67
00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:20,640
A lavender would be acceptable.
68
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,400
Funny you should say that.
69
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:28,240
I have the solution - rubber-tipped
arrows! We take bows and arrows!
70
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:32,940
You can't hurt anybody and we go out
in the woods...and shoot each other.
71
00:06:32,940 --> 00:06:36,240
Have you seen a doctor lately,
Billy?
72
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,740
If you have,
I'd ask for a second opinion.
73
00:06:39,740 --> 00:06:42,720
I tell thee, it's a great game!
74
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:48,140
You get your camouflage on, you hide
and then you creep up on each other.
75
00:06:48,140 --> 00:06:50,720
A lot like queuing at the bank.
76
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:54,840
No! It's a sport!
77
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:59,280
So's banking these days and I don't
think the odds are in our favour.
78
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:03,440
DOORBELL RINGS
See who that is.
79
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:11,400
It's a woman -
fancy glasses and blue hair.
80
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:22,680
I've gone! Out the back door!
I've never been here!
81
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:27,360
I thought it was only Howard
did things like that.
82
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,860
Can you help me?
I'm looking for Norman Clegg.
83
00:07:46,860 --> 00:07:52,280
I thought you were looking
for Truly. How did you know?!
84
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:57,200
You must be psychic! You are,
aren't you? You're psychic.
85
00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:01,640
If I give you something to hold,
could you tell me where he is?
86
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:05,360
I'm not psychic.
I wear too many cardigans.
87
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:10,060
But are you a friend
of Herbert Truelove? Er, yeah.
88
00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:12,360
Well, where can I find him?
89
00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:19,960
That might not be easy.
Can you get a message to him?
90
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:24,520
Tell him Florrie's looking for him.
Tell him Florrie's in town.
91
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:29,480
I'm at the White Horse and I'll
be waiting for him this afternoon.
92
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,380
Woof-woof-woof! Oh, shut up.
93
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:45,860
I need a place to hide.
Is the repo man after you too?
94
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:47,920
Worse. Much worse.
95
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:52,600
Is it her with the blue hair and the
glasses? Yes! Florrie Hargreaves.
96
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,840
What does she want?
Me. She wants ME.
97
00:08:55,840 --> 00:09:00,680
And she's got the idea I want HER.
What gave her that idea?
98
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:04,380
Never you mind.
That's classified information.
99
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:11,480
Smiler...you're in the market for a
woman. Have you considered Florrie?
100
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,760
I don't think I'd cope
with blue hair.
101
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:19,520
Be masterful! If you don't like it,
make her try red.
102
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:23,020
I think you need a drink.
I do. I really do.
103
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:26,480
Don't be silly!
104
00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:37,520
You're crazy if you're robbing me!
I'm in a secret society in Hull!
All ex-trawler men with fish knives!
105
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:42,040
It's me, Entwistle.
Truly of the Yard. I need a lift.
106
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,520
I'm working.
I need a lift to the pub.
107
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:50,060
Oh, the pub?!
If it's that important, get in.
108
00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:55,260
I can't cut anything
with a fish knife.
Not THAT kind of fish knife.
109
00:09:55,260 --> 00:10:01,800
He said fish knives.
The wife took almost everything,
but she left me the fish knives.
110
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,520
Truly's got a Florrie
to get rid of.
111
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:10,260
I just complimented her a few times
on her skills with the microwave.
112
00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:15,120
How was I to know she was going
to turn blue and pursue me?
113
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:19,880
Would she like a clean-living person
with his own fish knives?
114
00:10:30,071 --> 00:10:33,651
Hey up, Alvin.
Tha looks well settled in.
115
00:10:33,651 --> 00:10:40,591
Yeah, not bad, apart from
her next door. Doesn't she know
the Nazis have gone out of fashion?
116
00:10:40,591 --> 00:10:44,591
She'll be a help
if ever you're burgled, Alvin.
117
00:10:44,591 --> 00:10:49,111
Yeah, I was thinking of getting a
Doberman, but she'd only savage it.
118
00:10:49,111 --> 00:10:54,071
They say she's got a heart as big as
a bucket. Mouth. They meant mouth.
119
00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:59,271
They're mainly all like that. You'll
be all right in times of crisis.
120
00:10:59,271 --> 00:11:05,791
She knows basic first aid
and if that fails, she's a whizz
at organising funerals.
121
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:10,211
So it's just the living
she's not very good with?
122
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:16,631
Don't look to me for sympathy.
I've got a wife AND a sister.
It's only fair others should suffer.
123
00:11:16,631 --> 00:11:21,151
He doesn't mean it, Alvin,
except on Tuesdays. Why Tuesdays?
124
00:11:21,151 --> 00:11:25,451
All I know is,
I get maximum aggro on a Tuesday.
125
00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:27,531
I think it must be hormones.
126
00:11:27,531 --> 00:11:30,731
Unless you're a total twit
on Mondays.
127
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:33,471
He's an average twit on Mondays.
128
00:11:33,471 --> 00:11:37,111
We're looking for Truly.
Have you seen him?
129
00:11:37,111 --> 00:11:41,931
No, I haven't seen him,
but ask HER. She'll be earwigging.
130
00:11:42,991 --> 00:11:48,191
Who's earwigging?!
Nobody's earwigging! Told you.
131
00:11:48,191 --> 00:11:51,471
What's HE smiling at?!
You do me good.
132
00:11:51,471 --> 00:11:55,591
Reminds me I used to be married.
Can't believe my luck.
133
00:11:57,111 --> 00:12:01,291
What happened to her?
Killed by a falling elephant.
134
00:12:01,291 --> 00:12:03,711
She ran off with his best friend.
135
00:12:03,711 --> 00:12:07,391
True, but I like the elephant story
better.
136
00:12:07,391 --> 00:12:10,711
Yes, I would.
I like the elephant story.
137
00:12:10,711 --> 00:12:15,711
You're all tapped. No wonder she
left you AND with your best friend.
138
00:12:15,711 --> 00:12:19,471
I know. I get choked up.
My best friend...
139
00:12:19,471 --> 00:12:24,511
How many friends would run off
with your missus? I owe that man.
140
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:28,991
Does he do it on a contract basis?
For instance, on Tuesdays?
141
00:12:28,991 --> 00:12:34,071
Oh, you've no shame, you lot.
You don't deserve a good woman.
142
00:12:34,071 --> 00:12:38,951
Truly would agree. He certainly
doesn't think HE deserves one.
143
00:12:38,951 --> 00:12:44,771
Alvin, if tha sees him, tell him
he's not to go to The White Horse.
144
00:12:44,771 --> 00:12:47,531
That's where Florrie's heading.
145
00:12:47,531 --> 00:12:50,071
Who's Florrie?
146
00:12:50,071 --> 00:12:53,831
I've no chance.
She can hear through walls.
147
00:12:53,831 --> 00:12:57,591
And double glazing.
Don't you forget it.
148
00:12:58,771 --> 00:13:01,711
Who is this Florrie?
149
00:13:03,131 --> 00:13:10,071
There's an old saying in Hull.
"Strange the paths that lead even
to a Florrie." It was a mistake.
150
00:13:10,071 --> 00:13:13,431
How comes I never make mistakes
like that?
151
00:13:13,431 --> 00:13:17,031
She thought
I was reliable and honest.
152
00:13:17,031 --> 00:13:23,031
Some women are unscrupulous when it
comes to believing what blokes say.
153
00:13:23,031 --> 00:13:26,591
It was a desperate time.
I was under pressure.
154
00:13:26,591 --> 00:13:30,231
Why am I never under
that kind of pressure?
155
00:13:30,231 --> 00:13:34,951
How about having your house rewired?
It does wonders for your confidence.
156
00:13:34,951 --> 00:13:39,551
She used to live next door
to me and the former Mrs Truelove.
157
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:44,771
I'd nip over when things got bad.
She mistook panic for affection.
158
00:13:44,771 --> 00:13:51,431
"Man who never panics
is man who never thinks seriously
about a complete rewiring." Mmm.
159
00:13:53,971 --> 00:13:56,431
Herbert, you came!
160
00:13:59,391 --> 00:14:02,151
Argh!
Gangway. Coming through.
161
00:14:02,151 --> 00:14:05,611
Lend a hand. Man collapsed.
But Truly...
162
00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:08,431
Yes, we'll get you to a doctor.
163
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:13,191
Sorry. He has these episodes.
I don't know why they let him out.
164
00:14:19,371 --> 00:14:21,911
I'll be waiting, Herbert.
165
00:14:29,291 --> 00:14:32,131
Forcible abduction. Kidnap.
166
00:14:32,131 --> 00:14:35,311
Probably illegal.
Bound to be illegal.
167
00:14:35,311 --> 00:14:40,571
Bound to be tricky in court. They'll
say they were giving him a lift.
168
00:14:40,571 --> 00:14:43,191
We can't have kidnapping here.
169
00:14:43,191 --> 00:14:47,871
We can't turn a blind eye. It's
not as if it's the wife's mother.
170
00:14:47,871 --> 00:14:51,751
That's true.
Creates a bad impression.
171
00:14:51,751 --> 00:14:57,531
It seems to be an unwritten law -
nobody kidnaps the wife's mother.
172
00:15:06,011 --> 00:15:09,991
SIREN WAILS
173
00:15:19,991 --> 00:15:23,591
"Whatever you do,"
the inspector said,
174
00:15:23,591 --> 00:15:27,351
"stamp out kidnapping
in broad daylight!"
175
00:15:30,311 --> 00:15:35,071
Fear not, sir. We will have you back
with your loved ones in no time.
176
00:15:35,071 --> 00:15:38,051
It's not a kidnapping!
I'm fine!
177
00:15:38,051 --> 00:15:40,911
It IS a kidnapping. I should know.
178
00:15:40,911 --> 00:15:46,491
I'm part of a global conspiracy.
I demand to be incarcerated.
179
00:15:53,351 --> 00:15:58,291
Hurry up, Barry! We've got to get
there before Florrie gets to Truly!
180
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,711
Is it urgent? Urgent?!
181
00:16:00,711 --> 00:16:05,671
Mr Truelove is only inches
away from a second honeymoon.
182
00:16:05,671 --> 00:16:10,711
If that doesn't chill your blood,
Barry, tha's lost all human feeling.
183
00:16:10,711 --> 00:16:14,211
I'd like a second honeymoon.
I'm happily married.
184
00:16:14,211 --> 00:16:21,231
They say my grandfather was happily
married, but he didn't live to be
very old, so I find that suspicious.
185
00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:24,071
Were YOU happily married,
Mr Clegg?
186
00:16:24,071 --> 00:16:28,191
In those days, it wasn't something
you paid attention to.
187
00:16:28,191 --> 00:16:32,631
You were either married or not.
Happy had nothing to do with it.
188
00:16:32,631 --> 00:16:37,891
Now what? It looks like
Truly's joined the Force again.
189
00:16:43,491 --> 00:16:47,351
It's Truly.
He won't get out the police car.
190
00:16:47,351 --> 00:16:52,131
He's demanding to be arrested.
It's my right to be arrested.
191
00:16:52,131 --> 00:16:57,771
You can't have people being arrested
as they like. Too time consuming.
192
00:16:57,771 --> 00:17:01,511
We do it for one,
we'll be doing it for everybody.
193
00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:06,271
Truly,
there must be a better solution.
194
00:17:06,271 --> 00:17:11,731
I'm too proud for suicide. It means
strangers tramping over your house.
195
00:17:16,491 --> 00:17:19,991
Who is this woman
who's chasing Truly?
196
00:17:19,991 --> 00:17:25,271
Somebody at the desperate edge
of things. There's a few out there.
197
00:17:25,271 --> 00:17:29,791
Must be somebody he's been leading
up the garden path. They do!
198
00:17:29,791 --> 00:17:33,731
Mind you, SOME of them
don't need a lot of leading.
199
00:17:33,731 --> 00:17:40,551
If your Barry's looking for a new
sport, you'd better find him one
before he finds a garden path.
200
00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:46,631
He's just looking for a challenging
outdoor activity. That's the one.
201
00:17:46,631 --> 00:17:51,631
Where is your Barry now? He's with
Norman Clegg and Billy Hardcastle.
202
00:17:51,631 --> 00:17:56,351
I suppose there's safety in numbers.
There's safety in THOSE numbers.
203
00:17:56,351 --> 00:18:01,911
I never saw Herbert Truelove as
a man liable to have a wicked past.
204
00:18:01,911 --> 00:18:06,171
It's not so past.
Looks like it's caught up with him.
205
00:18:06,171 --> 00:18:10,591
I wonder what sort of wicked past.
Drink your coffee.
206
00:18:11,671 --> 00:18:14,331
I wonder how they met.
207
00:18:14,331 --> 00:18:16,991
Maybe he once arrested her.
208
00:18:16,991 --> 00:18:20,271
Looks like
she's returning the favour.
209
00:18:20,271 --> 00:18:23,671
They must have had
some kind of relationship.
210
00:18:23,671 --> 00:18:26,311
Where there's smoke, there's fire.
211
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,671
Good grief!
212
00:18:31,891 --> 00:18:33,891
ALL: Ooh!
213
00:18:39,951 --> 00:18:42,251
Just in time for tea, ladies.
214
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:45,751
What are you doing?!
You'll have us on fire!
215
00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:49,611
You'd not burn easily,
old asbestos breeches.
216
00:18:49,611 --> 00:18:51,091
Oh!
217
00:18:55,231 --> 00:18:57,531
THEY SQUABBLE
218
00:18:57,531 --> 00:19:00,191
All right, all right!
219
00:19:00,191 --> 00:19:04,891
Let's get this straight. This woman
assumes you had an understanding.
220
00:19:04,891 --> 00:19:09,731
I don't know why. She lived next
door. I'd sneak in for shelter.
221
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:15,371
Her husband was alive then. I never
thought the dozy beggar would die.
222
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:17,891
People can be sneaky like that.
223
00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:20,971
Maybe he left her to you
in his will.
224
00:19:20,971 --> 00:19:27,491
Then you'll be all right, Truly -
the Inland Revenue will get most
of her! I don't want ANY of her!
225
00:19:27,491 --> 00:19:32,411
Suppose somebody was willing
to take her off your hands...
226
00:19:32,411 --> 00:19:37,111
No! She'll take one look at YOU
and HE'LL look even better.
227
00:19:39,591 --> 00:19:45,631
Tell her you've only three weeks
to live. No, no, that's...too sad.
228
00:19:45,631 --> 00:19:49,671
Make it four. She might
want to spend them with me!
229
00:19:49,671 --> 00:19:54,751
Paint a picture of having something
really nasty and contagious.
230
00:19:54,751 --> 00:19:58,151
Well,
I do get this rash occasionally.
231
00:19:58,151 --> 00:20:00,651
It's only an allergy!
232
00:20:00,651 --> 00:20:05,231
Couldn't you throw yourself on
her mercy? Tell her you were lying.
233
00:20:05,231 --> 00:20:08,871
The truth
just complicates these situations.
234
00:20:08,871 --> 00:20:11,531
Is she superstitious?
235
00:20:11,531 --> 00:20:18,331
She wouldn't bury her husband on
a Friday...which is just as well,
as he didn't die until Saturday.
236
00:20:18,331 --> 00:20:22,591
No, she IS superstitious.
It's not a bad idea.
237
00:20:22,591 --> 00:20:28,031
Tell her you are as well and you've
brought your psychic adviser - Tom.
238
00:20:28,031 --> 00:20:32,431
Me?! You've done it before.
You told my fortune once.
239
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:35,191
A fella's got to earn a bob or two.
240
00:20:38,511 --> 00:20:42,751
Not on this occasion.
This is between friends.
241
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:16,771
Herbert!
242
00:21:16,771 --> 00:21:18,791
Who is?!
243
00:21:18,791 --> 00:21:21,331
She means me. Oh. Sorry.
244
00:21:21,331 --> 00:21:24,371
You came! You found me again!
245
00:21:24,371 --> 00:21:28,171
I never lost you, Florrie.
I knew where you were.
246
00:21:28,171 --> 00:21:31,531
The point is,
we've found each other again.
247
00:21:31,531 --> 00:21:37,011
If we're seen together with your
husband only just having died...
248
00:21:37,011 --> 00:21:40,231
He's been dead two years.
As recent as that?!
249
00:21:40,231 --> 00:21:44,351
I've been looking for you.
I couldn't find y...
250
00:21:44,351 --> 00:21:48,111
Who's this?
Oh, consultant to the stars.
251
00:21:48,111 --> 00:21:52,651
This is the famous Tom Simmonite,
my psychic adviser.
252
00:21:52,651 --> 00:21:57,991
Never goes anywhere without me,
especially to reach for his wallet.
253
00:21:57,991 --> 00:22:01,711
You used to laugh at me
for being superstitious.
254
00:22:01,711 --> 00:22:06,631
That was before I became
a believer. What happened?
255
00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:10,651
Some instinct drew me to the river.
256
00:22:10,651 --> 00:22:14,291
I saved this little child
from drowning.
257
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:17,951
Ever since,
I've been a kinder person.
258
00:22:17,951 --> 00:22:22,171
Oh, Herbert, that's another thing
we have in common!
259
00:22:32,291 --> 00:22:35,351
She's quite attractive.
Not from the front.
260
00:22:35,351 --> 00:22:39,511
She's worse than the missus
and I don't often say that.
261
00:22:39,511 --> 00:22:42,451
I look for the good points.
262
00:22:42,451 --> 00:22:46,611
That's a good attitude.
What have you found?
263
00:22:46,611 --> 00:22:48,631
I liked her shoes.
264
00:22:48,631 --> 00:22:51,071
Didn't match her handbag.
265
00:22:52,791 --> 00:22:57,351
Personally,
I would have gone for a lower heel.
266
00:22:57,351 --> 00:23:00,011
I'll go and have another look.
267
00:23:01,151 --> 00:23:04,691
Have you decided, Barry?
I'm no good with a bow!
268
00:23:04,691 --> 00:23:09,271
Tha'd soon pick it up, lad.
Tha'd be in the hands of an expert.
269
00:23:09,271 --> 00:23:10,731
You see?
270
00:23:11,771 --> 00:23:16,551
Perfectly harmless. Tha'll
love it, lad. Better than golf.
271
00:23:22,351 --> 00:23:26,851
Oh, I don't like that one.
Are you sure about this, Florrie?
272
00:23:26,851 --> 00:23:31,611
We've always known it,
haven't we, love?
273
00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:34,651
We should have done it years ago.
274
00:23:34,651 --> 00:23:39,471
But he'd never do anything rash.
He's always been so sensible.
275
00:23:44,911 --> 00:23:48,271
It's not working!
He's not convincing!
276
00:23:48,271 --> 00:23:51,191
We need somebody more exotic.
277
00:23:51,191 --> 00:23:53,971
Are you coming, Herbert?
278
00:23:53,971 --> 00:23:56,391
Coming, Florrie.
279
00:24:06,331 --> 00:24:09,251
That's sad. Really sad.
280
00:24:21,111 --> 00:24:27,111
Truly, Truly, it's time to get
changed for the match. Match?
281
00:24:27,111 --> 00:24:31,771
It's time to get ready
for the match. The big match...
282
00:24:31,771 --> 00:24:37,111
that'll be worth your while to get
off your bum and come outside for.
283
00:24:37,111 --> 00:24:41,711
Oh! The big match! Yeah. I'll have
to go, Florrie. It's the match.
284
00:24:41,711 --> 00:24:45,271
That's all right, love.
I'll come and watch.
285
00:24:45,271 --> 00:24:48,771
I'm pleased
you still get some exercise.
286
00:24:48,771 --> 00:24:51,491
He's always been so sensible.
287
00:24:54,711 --> 00:24:59,411
Do you think cycling's
all that exciting, Howard?
288
00:24:59,411 --> 00:25:02,731
Not uphill, love.
It's better going down.
289
00:25:02,731 --> 00:25:05,571
I like it when you can freewheel,
290
00:25:05,571 --> 00:25:10,111
but then I've always had
this wild streak. Is that IT?
291
00:25:10,111 --> 00:25:14,311
Is that all I can look forward to?
Being able to freewheel?
292
00:25:14,311 --> 00:25:18,671
There must be more to life, Howard,
than being able to freewheel.
293
00:25:18,671 --> 00:25:23,191
When we get to the top of the hill,
I could race you to the crossroads.
294
00:25:23,191 --> 00:25:26,211
No, Howard. I want more.
295
00:25:26,211 --> 00:25:31,871
More options, more thrills,
more nearer the edge.
296
00:25:33,091 --> 00:25:36,151
That means getting mountain bikes.
297
00:25:43,031 --> 00:25:47,551
What a coincidence, you stopping
just as I passed this young lady.
298
00:25:47,551 --> 00:25:51,851
We need this young lady, Howard.
For what purpose?
299
00:25:51,851 --> 00:25:56,371
I hope nothing requiring a mountain
bike. No. This is an emergency.
300
00:25:56,371 --> 00:25:58,651
At last! An emergency!
301
00:25:58,651 --> 00:26:01,111
Where are you taking her?!
302
00:26:01,111 --> 00:26:04,311
Don't fuss about the details,
Howard.
303
00:26:13,891 --> 00:26:16,731
Where are we going, Herbert?
304
00:26:16,731 --> 00:26:19,391
Tell her where we're going, Barry.
305
00:26:19,391 --> 00:26:23,971
We're going to get changed
for the match. Oh, yes. I knew that.
306
00:26:23,971 --> 00:26:27,071
We're getting changed
for the match.
307
00:26:29,771 --> 00:26:34,951
They'll be here any minute.
Is she ready? She's ready.
308
00:26:37,291 --> 00:26:39,571
Here they come now.
309
00:26:39,571 --> 00:26:41,831
Bring her out.
310
00:26:52,671 --> 00:26:56,131
Oh, there you are, Cuddly.
311
00:26:56,131 --> 00:26:57,891
Mwah!
312
00:26:57,891 --> 00:27:03,711
I have done the back bedroom. We'll
do the main one together...tomorrow.
313
00:27:10,951 --> 00:27:15,651
Herbert, who was that?
She's the home help.
314
00:27:15,651 --> 00:27:18,451
Er...that's right. The home help.
315
00:27:18,451 --> 00:27:20,611
She's a treasure.
316
00:27:21,891 --> 00:27:26,451
Excuse us, Florrie. He needs
to get changed for the match.
317
00:27:30,711 --> 00:27:32,731
Home help?!
318
00:27:32,731 --> 00:27:35,511
Help's not always easy to get.
319
00:27:35,511 --> 00:27:40,951
That looks easy enough. They say
she's very good about overtime.
320
00:27:44,651 --> 00:27:47,431
He's always been so sensible.
321
00:28:31,231 --> 00:28:33,231
Come on, captain.
322
00:28:38,511 --> 00:28:42,351
Herbert,
I'm very sorry to have to tell you,
323
00:28:42,351 --> 00:28:47,011
but you've just been replaced
in my affections by a Mr Riley,
324
00:28:47,011 --> 00:28:49,751
who does his OWN housekeeping!
28614
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof