Original subtitles

You got a problem?

Me? No I ain't got no problem.

Come on, take a good look, do I look like I have a problem?

Looks to me you have like 350 problems.

Yeah, well you better get your eyes checked, cause I ain't got no problems, okay.

As a matter of fact, around here I am the one that makes the problems.

-Oh, I am scared! -I am just standing here checking you babes out.

Why don't you go to the supermarket and check yourself out first, huh?

Ooh, you are a tough little cookie, I like that.

You know what, one smack should straight you right up; how about that?

Oh yeah, and who is gonna do the smacking? You and what militia?

-Listen, you stuck up little bitch. -No, you listen, dickface.

My boyfriend is gonna be here any second and if you're still here when he comes, you're gonna run

as fast as you can, and only then, it will be too late.

-You're such a tiger! I love it. -Fuck you and your pink shirt.

-Hey, asshole. -Carol, what are you doing here?

-I thought you were going to the tanning. -I was...I just...I am

were you...are you...just

giving these tourists directions.

-Come on, baby, you know I love you. -Directions to tourists, my ass.

Those girls don't mean anything to me.

Damn weasel.

-Men, am I right or wrong? -They serve their purpose.

I am not complaining, I got the greatest boyfriend in the whole world.

But the way I look at it, most guys are more like that jerk than they are like my boyfriend.

By the way, my name's Lou, short for Louise.

My father wanted boys, so he made everyone call me Lou and the name just kind of stuck.

-What's yours? -Carla.

-Are you kidding? -No.

My best friend in the third grade was named Carla, Carla Naxenhoff.

-What's your last name? -Bennett.

-Bennett, great name, Bennett. -It's English.

I've been to London before, twice actually.

Once to dance and once with my boyfriend, just for two days. He was giving a concert.

That's actually why I am here, my boyfriend lives in this building. Do you got a boyfriend?

-Sort of. -What does he do?

-He's an actor. -Get out! Like mine.

I thought that yours is a musician. You said he did a concert in London?

Not that kind of concert. More like mixed media.

He sings, he dances, he acts, he does stand ups.

He is a real entertainer, like Liza Minelli.

-So what do you do? -Design.

-Female Calvin Klein, huh? -Well, we're in the same field... but I'm not...

You're not nearly as famous, I know. I am gonna be famous one day, I just know it.

My boyfriend promised me, as soon as he makes it.

He's gonna cast me as his co-star because we're so good together.

But you never know, I may make it first, and then I'll have to cast him as my co-star,

...if I'm in the mood. Just kidding.

He is actually really talented, and I am not just saying that.

He has a way with words.

He can talk you into buying a house without a roof.

-Sounds irresistible. -That's what he is. He is irresistible.

People cannot resist him.

You know, I bet you've seen him on TV.

He's had guest spots on "N.Y.P.D. Blue", in "Homicide"...

and he did the Gary Shandling show twice. He was totally hilarious.

And he wrote personally to Barry Levinson and Don Simpson.

And Simpson was gonna give him a lead...

in this romantic comedy that his production company was gonna do,

but then he died.

Are you okay?

Blake Allan.

Yeah, that is his name.

Who are you?

His girlfriend.

I am his girlfriend.

I am his girlfriend.

American Airlines, flight 11.

Right.

So you mean you came here to surprise him, too?

Oh my God!

Looks like he's giving us a lot bigger surprise

than either one of us was planning on giving him.

Just one minute.

I'll buzz you in.

Welcome home.

You don t know me, no wonder it's his favorite song.

It should be his anthem.

Notice anything different?

That's where my picture used to be.

It still is.

-It is? -When you're here.

Did he ever tell you that's the first time he put anyone's picture

on his piano besides his mother?

Yes, because he said it made him feel like I was physically with him.

In front of him and inside of him at the same time.

Maybe we should wreck his whole fucking apartment right now.

I'd rather wreck him.

Yeah that's a really good idea, but how? Should we stab him?

Too quick.

Asshole.

Creep.

Scumbag.

Did you really love him?

Yeah, I did.

Did you?

I told him I did, and I thought I meant it.

Who knows? I felt something.

-Emotional? -More.

More?

More than I felt for anyone else, different.

-Which is what he said... -...that you were different?

He never experienced real love before he met me. Before me, love was

just another four letter word.

Beginning with L, no more significant than like or lust.

Then he would shake his head like this.

Shows how helpless he was about his work with his overwhelming passion.

-And when he'll go inside of you it's like... -Returning home to his sanity, his refuge.

-Perfect rhythm. -Perfect rhythm and harmony.

Atomic union or something...

The union of atomic matter, the matter returning to its pure state after temporary separation of time and space.

How do you remember all that?

Easily. He said it about 100 times as if it were a mantra.

Did he ever asked you to marry him?

-No, why, he asked you? -No.

-Why you ask? -Just curious.

Just trying to understand his twisted mind.

I think his thing for me was more sexual.

Although he did say he felt romantic towards me.

He told you he loved you?

Yeah, he said: "I love you and you love me"...

because he couldn t stand it if he said I love you, and didn t say it back.

It is crazy. Even now I shouldn t care

-what he said or did... -It still hurts, I know. It hurts me, too.

I feel like this is somehow a dream that I am gonna wake up from.

So do I.

-How long did you know him? -Ten months, how about you?

-February 15. -I don t remember the date,

but it was definitely snowing. So it must have been February,

and everything started off real slow. And then he got really intense all of a sudden

-and he told me... -He was yours and you were his...

and neither one of you is ever gonna be with anyone else ever again. That was in March.

Yeah, March, right, because he said it to me

at halftime at the NCAA semi-finals.

Un-fucking-believable. He knew it from the beginning.

-Knew what? Knew what he wanted? -He knew what he was up to.

It's not like he knew one of us for years or even months,

and then the other one came in his life and made it complicated.

He decided consciously to take a shot with 2 girls at the same time.

He wanted a girlfriend. He wanted to fill the void.

And so he figured if one of us didn t work out then the other might.

What he didn t count on was that the both of us would work out.

-But we did. -Until now.

It is gonna be neither.

But you don t think he was looking to have two permanently,

-like those what do you call it? -Bigamists?

-No, those ones in Utah. -Mormons?

Yes: Mormons.

Do you think he is a Mormon?

-He is no Mormon. -He sure is a cocksucker.

No, I think that was our function.

Oh you did that with him?

-What? -Give him head?

Why, does that shock you?

No, it is just that... do you know what he used to tell me?

All the way from Houston he said it to me on the phone last night.

He said that he couldn t even get a hard on for any girl besides me no matter how good she was or what she did.

-And you believed him. -I believed him.

Isn t that pathetic? I am as pathetic as that asshole on the street.

-Would you have believed him? -Not would, but did.

-He said the same things to you? -Word for word.

And if that wasn t his big faith in you. He said it was a matter of choice.

Without you he is incapacitated.

-He would be impotent with anybody else. -Because I owned his dick, it didn t belong to him.

-It was attached to him. -But it belongs to me.

Huge and hard, thick and long and perpendicular to the Earth, not to the floor but the Earth,

-and filled with oceans... -Oceans of cum.

Oh my god. I am gonna fucking cut it off.

I am gonna slice it off, sliver by sliver

with an electric meat slicer.

That is what I m gonna do.

-That motherfucker. -You said it.

-What? -That's what he is: a motherfucker.

You think he did it with his mother?

Not literally, but I think his relationship with his mother

is more complicated than he admits to.

Definitely. I mean who else has framed photographs

of their mother all over their apartment?

And the way he used her in stories he would tell,

like when he was little. No father around.

"Mother and I went to Florida, went to Atlantic City."

"Mom and I had an argument over me having a ponytail."

-Right. -And the way he used her with us.

-No, not with me, I never met her. -I never met her either.

But the way he used her, saying he is spending the night at her house because she's sick.

-You don t think she was sick? -Well, who knows?

All we knew is that he can't call her because the ringing sound would frighten her...

Exactly. "Just leave a message on the voicemail if anything urgent came up".

4 nights a week; Those were the nights he must have been with you.

No I was always three, never 4, you must have been 4.

No, I was three also.

Well, do you think there is a third?

Or one night of cruising recruitment for the future.

Can you believe we fell for this?

You only suspect it when you're doing it yourself.

Interesting.

but you weren't fucking around on him, were you?

-No. -Neither was I.

But I could have, I had plenty of chances.

Like that guy on the street in the white suit?

Much better than him.

I know that, I was just being vicious.

Right.

But you must had a million chances.

-You're beautiful, Carla. -No, I am not.

Yes, you are.

Let me ask you something.

What if he is here?

Ok.

Mommy, it s me. I m back.

Little trouble getting back from the airport, but the plane got in on time.

I love you. I hope you are doing well. Call me as soon as you get this. Bye.

Carla, it's Blake. I just got back in town.

I am prepared to perforate your every orifice

with my tongue. I miss you wildly.

I am hot. I got to see you. Bye.

Hi, who's there?

All right, well, just tell her

Blake is back.

Thank you.

Mark! It's Blake.

What is it, like 4:30 there? Get up.

So what happened with the job? Did you get it?

No? Why? Too talented as usual?

What's going on?

So what else? What about, like, anything?

Really? Wow. And that's in the Catskills?

God, I actually don t know anyone who made it in the Catskills.

What are they paying there?

Wow, that will cover the dry-cleaning.

What about like a TV spot or something?

I cant even believe we are discussing this. This is ridiculous.

It's like you don t know who you're dealing with here.

You've been jerking quite a bit there?

No, I m just kidding.

Hold on. Let me think about it for a second.

Call me daddy, call me daddy.

Bend over and then squeal like the pig that you are

for offering me this job.

No, I'll take it.

When do I start?

Ok, thanks, bye.

Hi.

Yes.

Live, from "La Paz"...

it is "Blanco Allegra".

You give your hand to me...

and then you say hello.

And I can hardly speak.

My heart is beating so.

And anyone can tell

you think you know.

No, you don t know me.

No, you don t know the one

who dreams of you at night.

Honey, I let my chance go by.

And the chance you might have loved me, too.

You give your hand to me

and then you say goodbye.

I watch you walk away...

What a surprising way to see you!

I was just... my god!

I was just thinking when am I gonna see you? And here you are.

How did you get in?

Magic.

Did the super let you in?

You look great...fuck!

Okay.

You know what's so great? I could have not orchestrated this any better.

This is a rare opportunity. You get to see how I am behaving

when you are not here.

What did I do? I came in

I sit down, and I call you. The first thing I do is tell you I love you,

I miss you, I wanna lick you, I can't wait to see you.

Got up, I m inspired thinking I m gonna see you...

I sit down, I play, I sing. How the fuck did you get in here?

Wow, you've never looked this phenomenal.

Did I give you a key? I did, right?

I am just so happy to see you. I really am. In this two weeks,

I forgotten how beautiful you are, and I missed you.

Did you miss me as much as I missed you?

-How much did you miss me? -Pretty madly, like a psychotic.

-Why do you think I was calling you 40 times a day? -Needed to check up on me?

What? What kind of crazy statement is that? Why do I need to check up on you?

-To see what I was up to. -What are you talking about?

What do you suspect I would be up to?

This conversation is getting real strange.

What is going on?

What is going on?

-Nothing. -Nothing.

Then why are you using words like suspect me? Like I would suspect you of something.

-And you don t? -No. Suspect you of what?

Suspect you of anything, why? Why would I?

-Never would I have thought you've done something wrong. -You don t think that?

-No, why would I? -I don t know. What you might think is wrong

for me, I might think it's right and vice versa.

What are you trying to tell me?

About what?

About you.

Nothing.

Did you fuck anybody?

When?

Whenever.

Ever?

Well, yes.

I mean, I seem to recall you and I have shared a little fucking.

-Making love, come on. -Making love, is that what you wanna call it?

That's what I call it, that's what it is to me when I was with you.

-As opposed to what? -As opposed to nothing.

What are you driving at? Come on.

How many girls did you fuck while you were in L.A?

When I was in L.A? That's the last two weeks. None.

Cause I haven t been with any other women since I was with you.

That's the last ten months.

-You don t have to say that. -I know I don t have to say that, I am just saying that because it's the truth.

I mean we're not married.

You are a free man, you can do it whatever you want. It's okay if you have.

I don t want to. Do you?

No.

Well.

-With anyone, you don t want to? -With anyone but you.

-Okay whatever you say. -Whatever.

This is got to be the most bizarre exchange

I ve ever experienced in my life.

Did you take acid?

Did you, are you?

I was trying to figure out some explanation

for this Jekyll and Hyde behavior that you're exhibiting.

I am scared.

I don t...

Look.

What's this?

What's there?

It looks like a broken window and a plant.

Yeah, I know it's a plant and a broken window, but the question is how did the window got broken?

It looks like the plant might have done it.

Yeah, but I don t think that the plant just came through the window on its own.

Did you throw the plant to the window?

Did you do this to the window?

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe?

Maybe?

Maybe.

Have you gone completely and utterly out of your mind?

Are you glad I came by to surprise you?

Yeah, I am glad. I would be gladder if you met me in the airport or outside.

I can't believe that you threw this plant through this window.

I can't believe you're getting more upset about this window...

Than what?

Then about your protestations of fidelity.

They are not protestations.

They are outright denials.

It's beyond desires, it's beyond choice. It's phallic incapacity

It's an inoperative shaft.

I am telling you, if you would put a gun to my head

and say, "Fuck her, she's gorgeous, she needs you, it's easy, no one will know.

I'll say, "Pull it, pull the trigger, empty the chamber into my head,

because that's where it's at with me.

It's not my dick anymore. It is attached to me, yeah, but it belongs to you.

I am taking it a step further, I am telling you that, at this point with you,

because I am so attached to you, that every other girl on Earth is not exciting to me, in the slightest.

Every other girl on Earth to me it's like slime.

It is like something that came from under a fucking rock.

It is disgusting to me!

It is like smelling cheese.

It makes me fucking sick.

It disgusts me!

It is like smelling vomit.

Including me?

Wow! This is a shock!

This is a surprise!

This is a massive shadow of shock.

I must say, it is difficult that either one of you is gonna believe me this moment,

-but there is absolutely a legitimate explanation for this. -What is it?

He doesn t have an explanation.

Just answer me one question, in what way am I physically disgusting?

-No way. -You just said I was.

-When? -When? 30 seconds ago.

-I didn t say... -You just said that every girl you met since Carla...

-was physically disgusting to you. -It was a figure of speech.

-Stop lying, asshole. -I am not lying.

Not lying? Everything you have said to the both of us in the past ten months

-has been a total utter-fucking lie. -Can I say one thing?

And this is not some self-serving jargon in an attempt to get myself out of the moment.

I even hide little tiny parts of my life from both of you to avoid causing pain.

-Fuck you! -I never said anything...

-that I didn t wholeheartedly mean. -Fuck you.

If you actually believe what you just said, it's worse than if you don t.

-I don t follow that at all. -Oh, what a big surprise!

What, you know what she just meant by that?

-Yeah, I understood perfectly what she said. -Well, go ahead, explain it to me.

You know what, I don t have to tell you anything.

You're just lucky you don t have a kitchen knife sticking through your Adam's apple right about now.

-Carla... -I prefer you don t use my name.

What do you want me to call you? Timmy?

I don t wanna hear your voice at all right now.

Absolutely, excuse me. I gotta get that.

Hi, mom.

Mom?

Hi.

Yeah, it was good.

I didn t get it, but I got this other thing in the Catskills that's gonna be real good.

Can I call you back in ten minutes? Thanks.

Ten minutes, okay? Bye, mom.

-So there is a third. -Third what?

-Third girlfriend. -That's absurd.

You used your mother with me to get with Carla. You used your mother with Carla to get with me.

And now, you're using your mother with both of us, to get with whoever it is you're planning on going out with tonight.

No, you don t understand.

No, actually we didn t understand.

Now we do understand.

We understand everything.

Everything except how...

it would be if you stopped lying.

You were caught.

Stop and try to explain.

-He cant. -Let him try.

Go ahead.

-My mom is... -Your mother is your excuse,

if she even exists. Who knows?

You know what this is?

This is reality

I am devastated by this.

No you're not; you're just exposed.

what do you have to be devastated about? You didn t find out it was someone you trusted and betrayed you.

I know, but...

You know what?

Nothing you say means fucking shit anyway,

because you're a lying, cheating manipulating motherfucker.

You know what I think? That is really abusive.

I don t think you understand, how it causes me pain to hurt people I care about.

-Care about? -Yes, care about. I like to cause pain

-to people that I hate. -Care about?

What happened to love?

I thought you loved me.

I really did.

And Carla thought you loved her.

I did.

And I do.

I really... I do.

Me or her?

Both of you.

Both!

Both is very convenient.

Both is really convenient.

What about only? You said only.

Look, I fucked up here.

-I was... -You were greedy and selfish.

-I was wrong. -Coward.

A greedy selfish coward.

You know what?

I m gonna...

Please, stop pursuing me and phoning...

I cant, I cant.

I think that I understand where you're coming from.

And I was there and I have been straight with you

this whole entire...

You know this was the form that was appropriate to you.

If you have to confront me.

I don t think that there is anything for me now.

I can't, because,

this isn t, this isn t...

and both at the same... that wasn t nice.

That wasn t right.

I was...

no way.

No, cause I know if I...

I think it is abusive.

I don t think...

Yeah.

I know, I know.

I gotta do it...for me.

For me, it is not like there was...

another.

This was not supposed to happen.

This is

misery.

This, to me, is misery.

Oh my god!

Okay, fine.

He's about as dead as we are.

Listen, I am about to teach a little something.

You fucking asshole, how could you do that?

You know how that feels, you fucker?

-Pretending like you are dead, that's sadistic. -I have a point to make.

I am not interested in your point.

I am interested in why you are a sick, compulsive liar.

You are caught in a sewer of lies and deception

and your response is a lie.

You're right. This is kind of fucked up. I am an actor...

-and actors lie. -It gets worse and worse.

I am not trying to excuse it, I am just...

A lot of actors don t lie. There's a lot of actors who play killers...

but they do not kill people when they are not acting.

Not good actors. Name me one good actor who doesn t lie.

This is beyond belief, even for you.

Okay. Denzel Washington.

-He doesn t lie. -Now how do you know that?

Because I just do, he like oozes honesty and integrity.

Yes, Denzel Washington is a good actor.

A good actor persuades you of one reality and he lives another.

Come on, Blake, are you gonna tell me that Denzel Washington...

Isn t the most coolest around?

-I don t know, do you know Denzel Washington personally? -No, do you?

Yeah, I ve seen him around in parties and other.

Really? You and Denzel Washington had auditions together?

-Yeah. -The two of you, like for a big director or something?

I mean, I don t think Denzel fucking Washington auditions.

Do you? He is a huge fucking movie star, unlike yourself.

I saw him at "Gray's Papaya" like 2 weeks ago.

And I think I got a pretty firm hitch.

I am not talking about Denzel Washington as an individual, I am talking generically.

I am talking about the art of acting, the nature...

the life experience of me as an actor.

So your point is that it's okay for you to lie and live a double life...

-because you're an actor? -What I'm saying

is that the two are connected.

If I was like a supreme court justice,

you would expect a little on the nose straight ahead answer.

But as an actor I think that I am granted a little leeway.

So, this makes it our fault? We should know that you're a liar and a double dealer?

Clarence Thompson.

Who the fuck is Clarence Thompson?

the supreme court justice who lied about Anita Hill, duh.

Thomas.

-Thomas, who? -Clarence Thomas.

And there is no proof that he lied about anything actually.

Oh really, you think that Anita Hill made up the whole Coke thing?

Are you intentionally missing my point?

No, I am not, you said that you're not a supreme court justice

and I said that Clarence Thompson

is exactly the same lying cheating pathetic fucking fool as you are.

Okay! Stop it both of you, you are letting him sidetrack us...

from finding out why he is such a liar...

which is the only reason that I am still here.

That's a very good point, Carla.

Why I am still here?

I am fucking out of here.

You treat two people that you claim to love with such contempt?

It wasn t contempt. That's the last thing it was.

It was love.

It was love.

Fuck you, Blake.

And fuck you up and down, in and out

front and rear, fuck you till you bleed and pus pours

out of your asshole.

You are a lying, mugging

masochistic, unemployable,

short, loft inheriting,

piece of shit fraud.

And love, you have the audacity to use the word love?

You don t know the meaning of the word love. Fuck you!

I am short now too, huh?

I make it 5' 10".

Short.

Fraud.

You know, what do you want, to sell it?

Fine.

You enjoy it.

What is wrong with you? Why are you doing this?

This is what you want, this is how you wanna live the rest of your life?

Damaging people around you, damaging yourself?

Is it?

Really, is it? Because if it is,

why don t you really fucking blow your brains out?

Really, right now,

that's not what you want. You need a commitment to shape your ass up

and stop bullshitting everyone.

Stop deceiving them and yourself, too.

You should promise me this right now.

A real promise. The real deal now.

-All right, I promise. -I can't fucking believe you.

I can't believe shit that you say,

but I m gonna give you a chance.

This is your last chance

to fucking get your shit together.

I come in, and the second I walk in the door,

the ground floor, the door is open.

I look in there, and there's a body.

I don t know. No, it's like the guy artist, Rex.

I don t know if it's him. I don t know who it is.

I call the police.

They come over, and within 25 seconds of finding this body,

they call the coroners

and they are grilling me, these detectives.

When you called me, they were relentless,

like I did it or something.

And then, maybe because of the time of death of the body,

it was obvious that I couldn t...

Stop. You are smoking right now. I can hear it.

You want some more?

I got too much already.

Pour me a little of yours.

Cheers.

I know you're smoking, you don t have to tell me.

You can't.

Yeah but I know, it's not even like I can sometimes or whatever.

You have no idea I took you to the hospital.

That's enough.

One more.

We'll finish the bottle.

Mom?

Mom?

Did you throw away the cigarettes?

Well, mom you are destroying your voice.

No, I am serious.

Why are you talking so low?

You are wrecking your circulation.

You are strangling your circulation.

Mom, the cigarette is like a nail.

Well you just gotta stop. You want me to come over there, I'll come over there.

You think I could ever braid your hair?

If you want to, you can.

Because I still like to braid my hair, but right now I have short hair.

Well, call me if you need me, okay? I love you, bye.

Wow!

Hey Blake, you wanna braid Carla s hair with me?

It could be fun. We could braid our hair.

-You want the truth? -No, we want another lie.

No, seriously. The truth.

-The truth. -Look at him.

The very words "the truth is" make him draw a blank.

The truth is that I meant everything that I said to each of you

-at the time I was saying it. -Bullshit!

-No, it was new to me. -Oh, it was new to you!

The first time I ever felt love was simultaneously with both of you...

for the first time ever in my life,

and I was baffled. It was very unsettling.

Poor you!

Poor fucking you.

I am not suggesting sympathy,

I am just trying to make some sense of this fiasco that I ve created.

Obviously you made your point, which was very confusing and unsettling.

We discovered, as you put it,

that you were in love with two women at the same time, and?

And it was exciting,

if you wanna know the truth. It never occurred to me

at any point to give up either one of you.

Because both of you made me feel

phenomenal when I was with you.

I was under the impression that I am totally inspiring both of you.

So, as long as we don t know about each other, then it's OK?

I am not saying it's okay, it was wrong.

But the rightness of it that I felt gave me a way of justifying...

a way of seeing it the way I wanna see it

so I can continue.

You are such a manipulator!

Manipulation? No it is not, because it requires concealing, I am concealing nothing.

-Since when? -Since now.

I absolutely think you're lying. You're definitely concealing something.

-It is too easy. -Yeah, it is too fucking easy.

-It is too fast. -What am I concealing?

You mean I could be aware of it.

Lying comes like breathing to you.

Mom, hi, it's me. Listen, I m sorry to call you back...

but your voice sounds really weird.

It is really low.

Why are you talking like that, mom?

I m scared.

I will call you right back. I think it is the connection...

I will call you right back. Hold on.

Why is this funny to you?

I ve been concerned.

Hi. Are you sure you okay?

I m sorry, I just don t understand why...

I know, but just let me...

OK, I am here and I am worried about you.

If I don t...

Okay, sorry.

She is upset with me.

There's something wrong with her voice. It's so strange.

Blake, how is it your mother has been sick

for like 10 months?

That's what you have been saying, right?

-Yeah. -If there is a real change in her voice,

you should call a doctor.

I know, I am going to call him.

Hi, Dr. Cutler, please.

Can you tell him that Blake Allan called? It is very important.

He has my number. Thank you.

What?

So you're never gonna believe anything I say again?

I would be pretty stupid to, wouldn't I?

Haven t you ever lied to anyone

and knowing what it had done, and felt horrible about it,

and knowing that you could never do it again?

Knowing it meant nothing, or knowing that they've gone ahead and done it anyway?

I guess what I am asking is...

can you forgive me?

So, explain something to me.

Did it excite you to know that you were always in danger of being caught?

It must have.

It excited you.

-It had to. -No.

Oh yes it did. You were exciting yourself by living a double life.

You were risking disaster.

Of course it excited you.

-If it did, I wasn t aware of it. -You were aware.

Where the fuck are you going?

-I have to make a call. -What, I have a phone here.

It is private.

Why didn t you go after her?

-She doesn t want me to. -But you would if she did.

It's ok, you can admit it.

I understand perfectly why you are attracted to her.

She is great, she's beautiful, clever, she is a good person

and she knows how to take care of herself. I mean what more can somebody want?

Nothing, but you have all those qualities, too.

No, I don t and you know it. I am not beautiful, I am cute.

I am not clever, I am street wise.

I am not a very good person; I mean the only thing I am is self-sufficient.

-I do know how to take care of myself. -And you are a good person, don t say that about yourself.

-No, I am not. -How can you say that?

How do you know? You don t even know me.

I thought I knew you better than anyone who'd ever known you. I thought I knew you better than you knew yourself.

-That's what you said. -No, that's what you said.

Maybe I did, maybe I said it because I knew that is what you wanted to hear.

The way everything you said to me was what you thought I wanted to hear.

Right up to just now, when you did it again.

Speaking of which,

I noticed that you didn t correct me when I said that I was

cute instead of beautiful

and street-wise instead of clever.

You're thinking about Carla.

See, if you had been honest from the beginning,

things might have worked out a lot better for all three of us.

And much more interestingly.

How so?

Sometimes you underestimate people.

What do you mean? I underestimated you?

No, meaning that I might have been ready for certain things.

Such as?

Such as a lot of things.

Such as?

Different things. And Carla might have been ready, too.

-For what? -You know what I'm talking about.

I know, I just want to hear you say it.

-I am sure you do. -So?

Use your imagination.

So what you're saying is...

What I am saying is that you blew it.

You didn t have the confidence in yourself to believe that

you could get what you wanted with the truth.

What did I want that I didn t get?

Half of what you just got in there.

-You mean double? -Yeah right, double.

Like what, that I would have been with both of you together?

Like that was my secret desire and I was too timid to admit it.

Well, no. I am not saying just sex.

And I am not saying sex once.

What do you mean?

I am referring to

Mormonism.

Mormonism?

Mormonism.

I think you mean bigamy.

Yes, bigamy, right. But not about the whole gang marriage,

just more of us hanging out together,

and doing things together, just being together all the time.

More like a triple instead of a couple.

So that's what you would have wanted?

No, that's how you would have wanted it.

You just didn t have the whatever to admit it.

-And you think that's what Carla would want? -Maybe.

I think that she would be open to it.

I think that we could convince her.

Excuse me.

Hello? Hi, Dr. Cutler, thanks for calling me back.

Listen I ve talked to mom, like three, four,

a bunch of times today and there is

something in the level of her voice that's got me like frightened.

And I just want you, could you call her, and call me back,

and tell me what I should do?

No, I am telling you, I know something is wrong.

I just want you to call her, call me back, and tell me what is to be done.

This is turning out to be a very strange day.

Everything is changing so fast.

Everything seems to be going from one extreme to another and back again,

almost as if like, love and hate were interchangeable.

No I don t mean interchangeable. I mean inverted.

Especially now for us with him.

I mean there is a part of me that feels like we could just tell him to fuck off

and never see him again.

But then I was also thinking that we could try something else.

Something new, modern and kind of strange.

Like this famous poet. Do you know what I am talking about?

Excuse me. Am I right in assuming that I am not wanted at this moment?

-Yes. -Or for longer than a moment.

Then I will vanish.

-So which famous poet? -I can't remember his name,

but there was a biography the other night that I watched on cable.

He had a wife and a mistress,

and they did everything together, and the women really got along.

They were attracted to each other, they respected each other

and there was no jealousy or possessiveness.

I mean, it was really very cool.

And I just cant remember his fucking name.

D.H. Lawrence?

No. Wasn t he the Lawrence of Arabia guy, wasn t he gay?

No, that was T.E. Lawrence.

No, this guy had a weird name.

It sounded like a zz, like Ezzard...

Ezra Pound.

Yes, Ezra Pound, that's it!

I thought you vanished.

What are you doing?

I mean really, what are you doing?

Are you trying to figure out how to make us forget?

Are you searching for a new role to slip into because this old one doesn t work?

Are you lost? Nervous? You look nervous.

Are you practicing your act?

-I am a practicing actor. -You are trying too hard.

-I am a good actor. -Right.

-I am not a hack. -Oh really?

Obviously you have never seen my Hamlet

or you wouldn t be parading me in this fashion, you'd have respect for me. You would.

You see that picture over there? I am the melancholic Dane.

Did Hamlet lead a double life?

-So you want center stage? -Yes.

Always trying to be loved.

OK.

Hamlet is upset with his mother, for many things.

Co-conspiring to kill his father, and also, owning his dick.

You could relate to that one.

No, but I can relate to how angry he is

and on how she controls his dick

OK.

It's coming.

"Ecstasy.

"My pulse, as yours,

doth temperately keep time and makes as healthful music.

"It is not madness that I have uttered...

bring me to the test, and I the matter will re-word;

which madness, would gambol from...

Mother!

"For love of grace, lay not that flattering unction to your soul

"That not your trespass, but my madness speaks.

"It will but skin and film the ulcerous place

"Whilst rank

"and corruption, mining all within infects

"unseen.

"Confess yourself to heaven; Repent what's past

"avoid what is to come, And do not spread the compost on the weeds

"To make them ranker.

"Forgive me this my virtue;

"For in the fatness of these pursy times.

"Virtue itself of vice must pardon beg

"Yea, curb and woo for

"leave to do him good...

"O Hamlet, thou hast cleft my heart in twain..

"O, throw away the worser part of it And live the purer with the other half.

"Good night: but go not to mine uncle's bed; Assume a virtue, if you have it not.

-You're gonna tell me that I am not a great actor? -I like your singing better.

You do?

Where did you grab that line? I didn t know that you're into Shakespeare.

There's a lot you don t know about me.

Yeah I know, like who did you just go outside to call?

-My mother. -Really?

See by the way you are looking, I know that you didn t call your mom.

My mother, why is it so hard for you to believe that I am calling my mother?

Aren t you calling your mother all the time?

Yeah, my mom is not well.

I would never lie about whether or not my mom was well.

Well who knows? You've lied about everything else.

I've lied about nothing except sexual fidelity.

Oh that's really nothing, isn t it? Hardly worth mentioning.

It is one tiny infinitesimal glitch on the radar screen.

Yeah and what do you mean about sexual fidelity?

Do you mean it was just the two of us for the last year?

-That I was lying to, yeah -Oh, that you were lying to.

But what about casual acquaintances that you didn t have to lie to

because they didn t care what you did, or who you did it with?

-Those were a few, a very few. -How few is very few?

I thought we were beyond this.

What made you think that we were beyond it?

Because we had a little moment?

-A moment? -Yes, a little moment which changed nothing.

Just as when I went outside, you and Lou had a little moment.

Which changed nothing, either.

-We didn t touch each other. -He is actually telling the truth this time.

It didn t even come up.

-Why not? -I wouldn't have let him.

That thought never crossed my mind.

-Oh that's nice! Thank you very much. -You said you wouldn't have anyway.

Well!

How few is few?

Five.

Seven, sorry seven.

-It was less than 10. -Less than 10?

Less than 10? Do I hear twenty? Thirty? Fifty?

Who do you think I am? Nero? I am not Wilt Chamberlain.

No, but you are desperately

obsessed and totally out of control.

Don t deny it, Blake, you are.

Well, maybe I am out of control.

Often, usually.

I mean do you really wanna do this?

Cause this will open the door of utter inhibited disclosure.

Do you really wanna hear names, dates, places,

who wanted to be licked where, fucked how?

Or in my estimation, what do I think your personal defects are?

Or what you are ready to hear or what you don t wanna hear secretly?

Or what if I told you what I thought about you, would that devastate you to hear?

What, you're saying that the reason that we're in this situation

is because of our personal defects?

what kind of girl would wanna get with a guy like me, knowing?

We didn t know.

You never even let us get to know you, that's the thing,

because you thought if we got to know you and see who you are that we wouldn t wanna be with you.

-Why weren t you honest from the beginning? -I never told you...

You could have said: "I cannot be faithful"

Why did you make it into some kind of fucking romance, that you didn t believe in?

You know I think you've been avoiding us this whole time, by calling your mother.

It's like you are obsessed with your mother.

I mean we can't even talk to you for 2 seconds, cause you're on the phone talking to your mother.

You substituted her for having a real relationship in your life.

Stop talking about my mom. This is not right.

Everything is from your point of view.

You are not fucking interested in us, because you're so fucking into your own head, how fucking charming and funny

and everything, you just fucking avoid it. And you don t care about us and our problems at all.

All you care about is fucking convincing yourself that you are so desirable

by getting a lot of women to fuck you.

You don t even know how to be like just a person.

Just a clear simple person.

And this is probably the most truthful moment in your life right now, am I right?

I can't believe that you're just dumping all this shit on me.

It is really fucked up, I would never get off on just sitting out,

railing into somebody and telling them their character defects. It is just twisted.

-So you think you really know me? -Yeah.

-And you know all my faults and all that? -Pretty well.

Okay, how many guys do you think I fucked?

None, you said none.

That's right but you said none too, haven t you?

Not only is it what you've told me, but I just know that you're probably incapable of it.

You don t think I know what sexual temptation is?

So how many guys do you think I fucked since I ve been with you?

None.

More.

One.

More.

Two, you are lying.

-More. -Three. I know what you're doing.

-You are just trying to... -More.

-Four? -Yes, four.

But maybe it was three because one was Vittorio, he was a repeat.

Do you wanna hear how these guys like to be degraded

or how do they like being licked or touched or fucked?

Do you want a comparative description of dick size, including your own?

I don t like this.

Do you still love me?

Am I still your one, your only one that you love?

Are you incapable of getting excited by anyone except me?

I can't.

I mean do you still love me?

Okay I know what you're trying to do, I kind of understand it, even though

it's twisted and really psychotic for you to do it, but I will forgive you

Just stop, it's not working.

You can call him, he's at Soho if you don t believe me.

Cause he is staying there, penthouse five.

And in fact he threatened to tell you if you don t go see him tonight.

I just know you would never do it because you would've never reacted with such anger

to what I did, if you were doing it yourself.

Because if you have,

then you are so much more fucked up than I am.

At least I am fucking finally telling you the truth, and you don t need to pull it out of me.

See, I wasn t trying to hurt you. Now you're doing it to me, with the intention of being hurtful.

I am not trying to hurt you, I am only trying to get on

some honest ground where I feel like the rug isn't gonna be pulled out from under me.

You fuck Vittorio? Vittorio?

That Chippendales jerk?

I wanna be on honest ground, too.

I understand completely what Carla s saying.

Right.

Three girls.

Three girls.

I am so glad I said it.

You know what, this isn t even going well.

This little thing you guys set up to fuck me.

No. We have not discussed this.

I had no idea that she was gonna say this

and I am sure she had no idea that I was gonna say this.

Jesus Christ!

And this just proves to both of us...

-Girls? -...that we were sort of unsatisfied with you.

-Girls! -So you are essentially a carpet muncher?

And I find that term offensive.

-I am sorry. -I find that term offensive.

Clamp bumper.

No, I am an evolved woman

who realizes that you can get a lot out of

a relationship with a woman.

Like sensitivity, trust, nurturing that you cannot get out of a man.

-You know there's like a gray area. -I can't fucking believe...

that you came here and have driven my ass into the ground for 45 minutes

holding all this information of what you two been up to.

-This is fucking nuts. -This is not over.

You fucked four other guys, and you've been with three women?

-Yeah. -This is pathetic.

Why are you so shocked?

Shocked? This fucking last hour you've been railing into me about this bullshit.

You are eating pussy, you are fucking three other guys and Vittorio.

Fuck both of you!

You should have known that we were doing this.

Why does it matter if you love them or not? This is fucking ridiculous.

Oh yeah, well have you loved anyone?

Did you really love me, did you really love Lou? Have you ever loved anyone?

Can you spare in between all the time you're fucking all these different people?

Do you have time to, like, have a feeling?

And it doesn t feel very good, does it?

Did you ever had any real feelings,

or did you just like play Hamlet all the time and pretend to have real feelings?

Look, I made my suggestion and I thought it was a good one.

Two girls and a guy.

But it seems like you guys are a little to conventional for that,

and that's okay.

Hello? Dr. Cutler? Thanks for calling me back. So did you talk to her?

Yeah.

No, I think there was a very significant drop in her voice, 50% at least.

Well no offense, maybe you don t know I ve talked to her three times a day

and I know there is something different.

Do you think it is possible that...

Yes, she's still smoking.

I don t know what she told you, but that's the truth.

Well, when you tell me not to worry,

don t worry, I am worried!

Your professional opinion?

Listen, I know my mother and I am telling you there is something wrong with her,

and I think that she should probably be admitted today.

Well I don t think that's acceptable. All right, so if you're not gonna be in the office,

then give me...

You want me to call you? Do you want me to track you down to the 9th hole?

I am telling you that I need your help, and you're telling me not to worry, and I am worried.

Well then, refer me to someone else.

I am telling you there's something wrong, I got to bring her in.

I am relaxed, but I don t understand why you're...

What do you suggest?

Is that all you have to say?

You are a fucking quack.

I'll do it myself.

I am tired of this bullshit.

I am gonna go upstairs and make a phone call.

Okay, I apologize if I was derogatory about your bisexuality.

It's ok.

I gotta go see my mom in a couple of minutes cause there's something...

This guy is a piece of crap.

Just five minutes.

I feel bad about everything, I do.

I am sorry I reacted the way I did in there.

I just, words are not serving me at all.

I think that language is always lies.

That is why I like playing the piano, because

there is no words.

What is your point, what do you wanna do?

I don t know, I am very reluctant to say goodbye.

I think there's something exceptional

to accomplish, not to ditch our relationship right now?

Even if I think that,

I think the cycle would still continue.

Finally it will just come down to chemistry.

-Hormones. -The only thing to do.

When you're overcome with overwhelming desire

just submit to it.

Even if it is admitted to?

-Did I do that? -What?

Like you want me to say, "Hi, how is your day?"

"It was great, I fucked this guy, how was yours?"

What are you saying? That after everything it is better to lie?

I am just saying that maybe we're just not capable of monogamy.

Maybe for some people it's like nature, maybe we're just...

Fucked up?

Maybe monogamy violates some part of our being.

Desire makes us feel alive. We need to feel desired.

And to say no is like automutilation.

Some people are so desperate they need to feel like they are not alone,

so they pretend like they can love one person exclusively.

-They being you and I? -Would you argue with that?

I'd like to, but I don t think I can make a valid argument.

I think that regardless of whether or not you can trust me

or I can trust you, when I am not with you and we trust ourselves,

it doesn t mean that we just can right now.

I think we should continue and see what happens.

I gotta go see my mom. I'll be right back

Don't leave, okay?

I am gonna go.

Here's my number.

If you ever have the beer, I'll always have the time.

And I don t mean just sexually.

Not just sexually anyway.

Hi. Manhattan.

Frank E. Campbell.

It is a business.

Camp... the letter E.

It's Campbell, C-A-M-P-B-E-L-L.

It's a funeral home.

Hi, I am calling...

Hi.

Hello.

Yeah, I am calling to make funeral arrangements

for my friend's mother.

Dorothy Allan.

Okay, we'll be there then.

Are you okay?

We should go.

I am gonna get my coat.