All language subtitles for Superstore s05e13_English

.

[light music]

- Okay, so it looks like
everyone agrees

that Paul Rudd is the celebrity
with the cutest butt.

So no more fighting about this,
okay, guys?

- So I guess
we're all just pretending

that Dennis Leary
doesn't exist.

That's fine.
- Next up,

we are switching over
electronics

from SuperCloud
to the new Zephra products.

- Ah, Sand--Sandra,
I am gonna have you

set up the display today.

I scouted a Best Buy
and picked up

some really out there ideas.

- Oh, Glenn,
do you think we're ready?

- We'll see.

Um, and Jonah and Justine,
you get to help out tomorrow

when the rest of the shipment
comes in.

- Oh, I'm actually--
I'm not here tomorrow.

- Oh, yes, um--I forgot to
take you off the schedule.

Sorry, um--uh, Sayid,
um, you're gonna have to

come in a little early tomorrow
to help out.

- I have to come in early

because Jonah doesn't feel
like working?

- Yeah, and you wouldn't
give me the day off

to Skype with my boyfriend.

The time difference with Ghana
is so tricky.

We haven't even gotten
a chance to talk yet.

- I'm actually going to
a meeting for Raise the Wage.

So this is really
to help all of us.

- [laughs]
You know what would help us

is if we were all
sleeping with the boss.

- Mm-hmm.
- Then we could

all take a day off
whenever we wanted.

- Well, someone
would still have to work.

So who doesn't wanna
sleep with Amy?

- Okay, no, Tina,
that's not--

Oh, really?
Sayid, wow.

You'd be lucky.

Anyway, I don't give Jonah
special treatment.

- It's not just Jonah.

It's all your favorites.

Glenn, Garrett, Cheyenne

- Oh, Amy,
I'm one of your favorites?

- No.
- Oh.

- I mean, no,
I don't have favorites.

- Okay, then who here was
invited to Emma's quinceañera?

- Okay, no more raising hands.

- I be corporate HR
would love to hear

about the favoritism
at this store.

- He's right, they would.
- There's no favoritism.

[chatter]
- No, guys,

there's no need to call HR,
okay?

Jonah, I'm not taking you
off the schedule.

So you're gonna have to
find someone yourself to cover.

- That's totally fair,

and I'm sure I can find
somebody else to cover for me.

Sarah?
- No.

- Jesus, Sarah,
at least take a minute

to pretend to look
at your calendar or something.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Okay. Here's the plan.

Myrtle has passed.
Rest in peace.

Miss her like cray, but now
I can quit the vision center

and be your new assistant.

- Mateo, you know it's not
as simple as that.

- I can't work for Dan anymore.

Every night, he calls me
from the McDonald's drive-thru

begging me
to talk him out of it.

And I try,
but he goes through.

And then it's just
ten minutes of him

sobbing and eating
and I have to forgive him

every night.

- Mateo, I really could
use the help right now,

but I can't hire you.

Zephra still uses E-Verify.

- This is so unfair.
- I know.

[phone chimes]

- [sighs] Oh, my God.

I have to give Dan's wife
a lift.

[phone chimes]
To Fort Wayne, Indiana?

Where is that?

- Okay, no, no.
Mateo, no.

That's crazy.
You can't do that.

We'll figure something out.
I mean,

maybe if there were
some kind of way to--

- Do you actually have a plan

or are you just not telling me
to be mysterious

or do you have, like,
no idea.

- I don't know.
It's just too risky.

- Okay, I'm gonna pee
and come back.

- What the hell is all this?

- Um, it's the display
for the new Zephra products.

- Yeah, it's also
a shoplifter's paradise.

Nothing's locked down.

This phone, swipe.

This tablet, swipe.

This--I don't know
what that is.

- It's a digital
picture frame.

It has Wi-Fi, so you can upload
right from your phone.

- Really? Cool.

Anyway, swipe.

Look, this is the most
expensive merch in the store.

I can't have Zephra thinking

I'm running a buffet for
thieves.

- Right, but, um--
It's actually Glenn's idea

and he's Floor Supervisor now,

so maybe I should ask him.

- The only thing
you need to ask Glenn

is how a man manages to make it
to 60 without hitting puberty.

This is my domain,
and I say take it down.

- Did you also want me
to ask about the puberty?

- So then on your books,
Mateo would still

get paid by the vision center,
but he'd work with me.

And Eugene would
stay on my payroll,

but he'd work with you.

- But we had a good thing
going here.

I mean, we were vibing.
It's like--

- Yes.
- But I just don't know

anything about this guy.
- I'm Eugene.

- He's Eugene!
He's the best!

He's, um, uh--positive.
- Mm-hmm.

And, uh--

- He is, uh--so tall.
- So tall.

- Hm. Eugene, could you get
those boxes off

from the top shelf,
and take them to the back?

- Sure thing.

- Hmm. Good extension.

Nice wide stance.
- Uh-huh.

- The kid's good.

I'm sold.
- Good.

- Yay! [laughs]
- Great. Awesome.

And, um, also, you know,
we should probably

keep all of this
on the down low.

Just the fewer people who know,
probably the better.

- Of course.
I mean,

I actually find
shared secrets very thrilling.

- Okay.

- Oh, sure.
I can cover your shift, um,

if you can do me
a huge favor.

- Uh, yeah, sure.
Maybe. What is it?

- Okay, if the cops call you,

just say that you were with Bo
all night last Thursday.

Just if they call.
There's, like, an 80% chance.

- That's high.
That's a high chance.

- I'll cover your shift
if you work for me next Friday.

- Oh, great.
Okay, great, yeah.

What's--what's going on Friday?

- Oh, nothing. Just having
a little thing at my place.

- Oh, you're, uh--
you're doing a thing.

That's--that's cool. Cool.

So yeah, I'll just, uh--
I'll cover for you

while you're having your thing.
[phone ringing]

And I'll--I'll be here.
- That's how this works.

- He wasn't at the ravine.
He wasn't at the ravine.

He wasn't--
he wasn't at the ravine.

Okay, hi, cops.

- Okay, so I swiped this
digital picture frame

from electronics
because it'll look

really cute on your desk.
- Ooh. Yes, it would.

Oh, it's gonna be so nice

to have an assistant
who actually helps.

Myrtle used to just cut out

pictures of horses
from magazines

and tape them to my computer.

- Uh, whoa, did you just say
Mateo's your new assistant?

- How's that possible?

I thought
he couldn't work for Cloud 9.

- Um--
- Well, uh--

I just found out that, um,
I got a work permit.

My lawyer called me
this morning.

I just haven't had time
to tell anybody.

- Ah Mateo, that's awesome!

But Amy, that's bung.

I mean, you say
you don't play favorites,

but then you give
the sweet assistant job

to your brother-in-law.

- Okay, Mateo is not
my brother-in-law.

He and Eric
are just boyfriends.

- Boyfriends?

Did he say boyfriends?

- Well, I'd want the job, too.

I've been dying for a desk job.

At least give us a chance
to interview for it.

- Yeah, come on.
- Or maybe we should call HR

after all.
- Look, you guys,

I just--I didn't realize

that there would be
so much excitement for the job,

So seeing as it's
not finalized--

- I'm sorry, it's not.
- Nope.

Uh, let's--let's open this up.

- Yes!
- Uh, anyone can apply.

- Anyone.

.

- Okay, let's start
by hearing

everybody's work experience.

You first, Justine.

- Oh, okay. Well, um,
I have worked here

for over three years,

and before that
I was a dog groomer

So I guess you could say

I am good with
hot-tempered bitches.

[chuckles]
I'm sorry. I'm very nervous.

- No, thank you, Justine,
for answering the question.

Okay, Marcus, you next.

- Let's see, before Cloud 9,

I did some office management
for my dad's business,

mostly answering phones
and filing.

- Oh, so--so, like,
assistant stuff?

- Yeah.
- Wow. That's fun

and surprising.
- [laughs]

- Okay, Mateo, uh, you?

- I, um, can type
100 words per minute.

- Oh, wow.
- And I am currently

on a three month trial of the
full Microsoft Office Suite.

- [clears throat]

- Oh, hey, look at that.

Triscuit sale, two-for-one.

Hey, you've got
a thing coming up.

Is that, uh--do you need--
do you need snacks

or is it, like,
a non-snack gathering?

- Okay, buddy,
you're being weird.

My thing next Friday
is just a few dudes

that you don't even know.

No work people
have been invited.

So just relax.

- Okay. Is--is Randy invited?

- Yeah, sure.
Randy's gonna be there.

- I know Randy. I used to
say hi to him all the time

back when we lived together.

In fact, he even asked me
to move my car once

'cause I was blocking him in.

- Yeah, I just don't like
mixing my worlds.

I don't bug you
for hanging out with Amy

and her kids all the time.
- I'm not always

hanging out with Amy.

- Look, I'm not saying it
like it's a bad thing.

It's just you got
your own stuff going on,

I got my own stuff going on.

To each their own stuff.
It's great.

- But I--I have room
for more stuff.

I'm like a hatchback.

You can always cram more in me.

Don't--don't make it dirty.

- Sandra, what are you doing?

- Dina said this was
a bad idea

and told me to redo
the display.

- Oh, Dina said that.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- She can't stand
that I have authority now,

so she's trying to cut me off
at the thighs.

Well, I'm the floor supervisor,

so--so put it all back,
[stammers]

and make it bigger.

- What do you mean bigger?

- I mean bigger!

- Bigger.

- So, looks like we have
a last-minute applicant.

Cheyenne.
- Hey.

Yeah, I really want this job,

but now that
I see Mateo's here,

it's like, what's the point?

I should just give up now.
We all should.

- Okay, thank you, Cheyenne.

All right, let's continue
with hypothetical scenarios.

Uh, Mateo, if I were to ask you
to file a 1038[b] form,

that would require you to...

- Fax a copy
of the incident report

along with the updated
employee information.

Boom.

- Uh, yeah.

Okay, uh, good.

- Hold up, you're forgetting
that you have to

give Linda in legal a heads up

'cause you need a 1022[c].

I've had to deal with a lot of
accidents in the warehouse.

Especially before
Michael was fired.

That guy loved his nail gun.

And heroin.

- Well, uh, Marcus,
that is all very correct.

- Well, Mateo got
the first part

of the question right, he just
biffed the important part.

- So glad you're here,
Cheyenne.

- I thought Mateo
was a shoo-in.

- Yeah, so did I
until Marcus started

acting like not an idiot.

And now I can't just pick Mateo

without everyone thinking
I'm playing favorites

the way they thought I was
giving you special treatment

just 'cause
you're my boyfriend.

- You know what? I'm tired
of everybody thinking of me

as just your boyfriend, okay?

Even Garrett sees me like that.

He thinks I spend
all of my time

with you and the kids.

- Well, I mean,
you kinda do.

- Oh, come on.
- But if you wanted to, like,

spend more time
with your boys,

I'd be totally cool
with that.

Do you have boys?
- Yes.

Yes, I have boys.

I have lots of boys.

Shane.
- Mm.

- Grant. Julien.

- Julien, Emma's French tutor?

- We connected.
We both love the cuisine.

[music playing over speakers]

- ♪ Ooh, baby

♪ Really want you
in my world ♪

♪ Step, hey, girl

- Hey, Garrett.

[clears throat] Hey.
What's up?

- I forgot my lunch,
so I'm just

grabbing something
from the café.

- Ah, come on. You don't wanna
put this garbage in your body.

Not garbage.

Enjoy your--
your cheese dog, sir.

Uh, anyway. I was gonna
take Amy out to lunch.

But guess who I'm taking
instead?

- Oh. God, why?

- Are you kidding me?

- Dina, don't you dare.

- As assistant manager,
I have authority over Sandra.

- Uh, I also have authority
over Sandra

because you and I
are equal now.

- Oh, please.
Sandra, take it down.

- Sandra, no.
You leave it up.

- If you don't listen to me,

I will write you up
for insubordination.

- Oh, too late, 'cause I'm
already writing you up.

- No, no, no, no.
- Not if I get there first!

- What is the form number?
- B-17.

- Thank you.
Did they change it?

- Yes, they did.
- Is that gonna count

as one write up or two?

- One!
- Two!

- Sounds good.

.

- Okay, uh, Justine.

I would say
that you should be able

to ask the vendor when
the shipment will be delivered

without making a joke
about his package.

- Okay. Got it.

Yeah, I'm still trying to learn
all your little quirks, so--

- Okay, Mateo, you're up.

Why don't you
call our produce vendor

and check the date
of our next delivery.

- Good afternoon, ma'am.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

[clears throat]
[laughs]

You have a uniquely high voice.
[laughs]

I didn't know that could happen
after a stroke.

I do believe you. I--

My voice just got higher.
I'm not mocking you.

Hello? Hello?

- Whoa, I can't go after that.

That was so good.

- I got this.

Okay.

Jeanie! It's Marcus
from the warehouse.

Hey, I was calling to see
if I could check

when that shipment's
gonna be coming in.

Is there any chance we could
push that up to Wednesday?

Oh. Jeanie in a bottle.

'Cause you're making
wishes come true.

Buh-bye.

- Did you actually just get
them to move the shipment up?

- The key is to talk
directly to the truck drivers.

Now, I have
a great relationship with them

since I work in the warehouse.

- Oh, do you work
in a warehouse, Marcus?

I didn't know because
you only mentioned it,

like, a million times.

- Okay, that doesn't even
make sense.

There's no way I could've
said a million words.

That would've taken years.

- [speaking Tagalog]

- [gasps]
[speaking Tagalog]

- [speaking Tagalog]

- Dina doesn't want me
putting items on the floor.

Well, I am gonna show her
just how many items

I can put on the floor.

I'm gonna put out thousands.

- There's only 78 tablets.

- Well, then we'll put out 78,

but it'll be the most 78
you've ever seen.

- Oh, absolutely not.

- Get out of my way.
Come on!

Sandra, block her
with your body!

- Sandra, subdue him.
- No! Ah--

- Sandra, what are you doing?
- I'm sick of you two.

Figure it out.

I don't need the stress.

A chunk of my hair fell out,

and I will not be bald
for my wedding!

- All right, all right.

Wings are on the way.

I got tokens for skee-ball
and I got a table keg.

- Dude, you know we have to
go back to work.

- Who cares? Who cares?
Don't worry about it.

This is our bro time.

This is our brocade.

Well, that's a--that's a type
of embroidery, but you get it.

- hey, look, man, you don't
have to prove anything.

It's just, you're in
a different phase

in your life right now,
and that's okay.

- Oh, look who it is.

Hey, Randy.
- Hey.

- Randy, what are you
doing here?

- Joseph DM'd me.

- Joseph.
- Jonah.

- Uh, he said Garrett
really needs you right now.

- Yeah, needs you
to hang with us, uh,

because it's guys' night,
you know?

Guys'--well, it's lunch, so--

Guys'--guys' lunch.

- Dude.

- Not gonna lie, it's getting
hard to hype you up in there.

Not 'cause I don't think
you deserve it,

just 'cause
you're doing so bad.

- I didn't think Marcus
would be good.

- Well, neither did I.

What, did he take
the "Limitless" pill?

You know, the movie "Limitless"

where the guy takes the pill,
and--

- This isn't the time, Amy.

- Okay.

- You have to fix this. Now.

- I know. Okay--

maybe I can ask everybody
to do things

that only you're good at.

- Okay.
- Mm, oh, yeah.

Like kissing your brother.

- I'm not ruling it out.

- I see you took the initiative
to make my favorite meal.

Um--
Oh, mushrooms.

- Wait, aren't you allergic
to mushrooms?

- You are?
- No--no--

I love them.

[whispering]
Can you go get my EpiPen?

- ♪ There were nights
where the wind was so cold ♪

- You really need your
assistant o sing to you?

- It helps with stress.
You should've known that.

Ten points deducted.
- No

- ♪ Right outside the window

- ♪ To dance with
my father again ♪

- Oh.
- My gosh. [sighs]

Wow.

A swing and a miss.

- There she is.
There's our girl.

- Have you guys
worked things out?

- We have, and we want
to apologize.

We were acting like such fools.

- Okay. So who do I listen to
about the display?

both: Me.

- Dina, we agreed
it would be me.

- No, we agreed it would be me

because I knew
she would never believe

that I would let you
be in charge.

- Let--I am in charge.

- You?
- Yes.

- You have diabetes.
You aren't even in control

of your own glucose.
- [gasps]

- When you're done
typing up the memo,

print it out, and then run it
back here to me.

- Done.
- Yes.

- What the hell? You said
you typed 100 words a minute.

- I liked, okay?
Everyone says that.

♪

Ah, where's the printer?
Who moved the printer?

Sayid, where's the printer?

- I won't tell you.
I have an alliance with Justine

- How does that even work?

- Coming through!
- No!

- I did it, I did it. Ah.

Whoo! I got the job.
- Whoo!

- I won, I won.
Victory lap.

Guys, carry me out.
Come on, let's go.

- There's a lot to consider--
- Whoo! Yeah!

Marcus! Marcus!
- Still have to assess the--

- I know it wasn't the plan,

but I think you'll be
really happy with him.

.

- I can't give you
this position.

- What?
I crushed the interview.

- Yeah, no, I know.

Part of me was like,
what are you,

taking the "Limitless" pill?

- Amy, no one saw that movie.

- Yeah, but you know
the premise,

so the joke is good,
it works.

Anyway, I need to
give this to Mateo.

- Oh! Of course you were gonna
pick one of your favorites.

This whole interview process
was a fake.

- No--I mean, yes, but not for
the reasons you think.

Look, Mateo never got
a work permit.

I convinced Dan
to keep him on the books

and let him work for me.

You know how miserable
he's been in that job.

So please don't tell HR.

- Oh, man.

I--I totally get it.

He--of course he should
get the job.

- Right? Thank you
for understanding.

No problem.
I' just take the pay raise

and then we're good.

- I'm sorry, wh--what?
No.

- Well, I mean,
I did still win.

And it just seems like
if you want me

to keep quiet about all this,

you should make it
worth my while. Right?

- [scoffs]

Okay, well, how about
weekends off?

- Oh, man, that's
such a good start.

- Okay, Marcus,
just tell me what you want.

- Amy, I--I think we both know
what I want.

[inhales] Mm.

And I've been wanting it
for a very long time.

- Hey, Rico, check it out.
I got a desk.

[engine starts]

Whoo!

- So you're telling me
there was a second encore?

- What? That's crazy.
What song was it?

- I, um, don't know
what it's called.

Anyways, Jake was going nuts

and Margo wanted
to leave early.

- Oh, uh, Margo.
You told me about Margo.

She's, uh, the, like,
super annoying one

with the fish face.
[laughs]

He does such a good--

- Margo's my girlfriend.

- Oh, that's--

No, you never mentioned--
That's, yeah,

I'm thinking of a different
Mar--we know so many.

So, different Margo.

- So you think my girlfriend's
annoying?

- No, I just--

- You know what?

I didn't like Colleen,
but I kept that to myself

and I definitely didn't talk
about her behind your back.

Not cool, man.

- He'll--he'll probably just
Venmo us for his--his portion.

You know what? I'm gonna--
I'll get it.

I should--I'm gonna get it.

- So your new desk
is gonna be here in three days.

- Oh, thank you.

- Oh, and tomorrow
I was thinking of doing

Mariah Carey's "Fantasy."

And then on Tuesday,
maybe Patti LaBelle, or--

- Oh, no Mateo,

you don't actually
have to sing to me.

- Oh.

Uh, for sure. Yeah.
I mean, that--

that makes the most sense.

- She's not coming back, huh?

- Nope, guess this is dinner.

- Mm, mm.
Don't eat too much.

I'll save that for later. Um--

Do you mind if I play
a little harmonica?

- No, do your thing.
- To practice? Yeah.

[playing harmonica]

- You're very talented.
- Thank you.