Original subtitles

(BATS SCREECHING)

Let's see what's come in the mail.

Bill, bill, bill.

Bill... What? A letter?

Who writes actual letters anymore?

"Dear, Uncle Alfie,

"I can't believe it's been so long since we've seen each other

"You were always my favorite bonus uncle."

-Oh, how charming! -(CRASHES)

Master Wayne, is that you?

-(THUDDING) -What? No!

(SNARLING)

(BATS SCREECHING)

♪ Scooby-Dooby-Doo and Guess Who?

♪ We know you're one in a million

♪ Scooby-Doo

♪ We can count on you, Scooby-Doo

♪ To catch and unmask that villain ♪

SHAGGY:Zoinks! It's, like, the Batman!

So, like, Daphne, tell us again,

why we're riding down some creepy road

at night in the middle of nowhere?

Yeah, creepy.

We've already told you guys.

We're going to see Daphne's uncle.

I didn't know you had an uncle.

Well, he's not really my uncle,

-but he became an uncle. -How? Magic?

-Married into the family? -No, sillies.

He worked as our butler one summer when I was little.

Wait! So, he was your butler?

No, more like a family friend

who also played on Daddy's polo team.

So he was a polo player.

-DAPHNE: Substitute, really. -Oh, okay. Okay, okay, okay.

So, he was your old butler...

Substitute polo player...

-Slash family friend... -Sort of uncle, maybe?

-Exactly. -(CAR ENGINE REVVING)

Hold the phone. Somebody's in a big hurry.

-Whoa! -(TRUCK HORN BLARES)

-(TIRES SCREECHING) -(ALL SCREAMING)

(INDICATOR CLICKING)

Jet-powered car!

-Cape and cowl! -Gotham City plates!

Cold, dark and creepy!

-That was... -ALL: The Batman!

FRED: Wow, Daphne. This is Wayne Manor.

You didn't tell us your uncle worked for billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne.

Didn't I? It must have slipped my mind.

FRED: Whoa, what the heck happened here?

Oh, no! Looks like something horrible crawled its way in.

Uncle Alfie?

Well, nobody's home. Let's come back later.

Yeah, later. Like, never later.

FRED: Nothing doing, guys.

We've got a mystery on our hands

and we are going in.

I was afraid you were gonna say that.

Uncle Alfie? Alfred.

Mr. Pennyworth!

Something very bad happened here.

Look! My letter to Uncle Alfie.

Swanky!

Scooby-Doo, catch, boy!

(SCOOBY-DOO LAUGHS)

Uh... Uh-oh.

(CLATTERING)

Whoa! Zoinks!

Run, Scoob!

(SCREAMING)

-(BOTH WHIMPER) -(CRASHING)

(GLASS BREAKS)

(GROANS)

Mr. Pennyworth!

Oh! Huh, that's kooky.

I wonder what this button does.

Whoa-whoa-whoa!

(THUDS)

Shaggy.

Lipstick.

What's lipstick doing

in a billionaire bachelor's mansion?

-(SHAGGY GULPS) -Hmm?

What're you doing here?

(BOTH SCREAMING)

-Run. -Like run, Scoob. Run.

(BOTH WHIMPERING)

Whoa!

Who sent you?

(BOTH SCREAM)

(BOTH WHIMPERING)

What have you done with Alfred?

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(BOTH WHIMPERING)

Zoinks! It's, like, the Batman.

(GRUNTS)

He came out of nowhere and he was, like, 10-feet tall and speaking all threatening.

He's like, "What are you doing here?"

And Shaggy and I were like, "Ahhh!"

And we ran away, but he was, like, flying in front of us.

And he came in front of us and he said, "Who sent you?"

And Shaggy and I were like, "Ahhh!" again.

And we ran back and he was there, too.

And he was flying in front of us the whole time

and he was right and he had this big cape,

and he was like a giant bat. And then he was like...

And he was like, "I am the night.

"I am Batman. Batman."

Velma? Daphne? Fred?

(GASPS)

(CHUCKLES) You missed.

Oh? Oh...

(GRUNTS)

(DOOR OPENS)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

What did you do with Alfred?

We didn't do anything with Mr. Pennyworth. Honest.

We came here to visit him.

He's Daphne's uncle not uncle butler once removed.

Maybe.

Besides, Mr. Batman, you have this all wrong.

We're mystery solvers just like you.

You have to trust us.

Trust, doesn't come easily in my line of work.

(GULPS)

Oh!

(SCOOBY-DOO CHUCKLING)

Ooh, that tickles. (CHUKLING)

You're right. These don't match the claw marks in the ding room.

-(ELECTRIC BUZZING) -Huh?

-(BEEPS) -(SNAPS)

Phew!

But what are you doing here?

How do you know Alfred?

Well, I... I heard there was a break-in here.

Yeah, but if you were on your way here when you passed us,

how did we get here first?

And where'd you park the Batmobile?

I... I...

Look, I think it's time you kids were on your way back

to wherever it is you came from.

We are not leaving until we get some answers.

Whoa! Jeepers!

(ALL COUGHING)

-(VELMA GROANS) -(ALL THUD)

(HEADLIGHTS CLICKING)

(ALL SNORING)

Oh, what happened?

-Batman did this to us. -Yeah.

-Poor Uncle Alfie. -VELMA: Hmm.

It's not blood and it's not ink.

Lipstick?

-Scoob and I found this. -Does it help?

DAPHNE: It matches!

This is an amazing clue.

This lipstick is Valentine Tears number 5.

I thought I had the very last one.

Hmm. Only one store in Gotham City

ever sold that brand,

and it closed down over 50 years ago

and has been abandoned ever since.

Spooky abandoned department store

in the middle of the night

in one of the toughest towns like ever.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Yeah, like, let's go there.

That's the spirit, Shaggy. Let's hit it!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

One of these days, Scoob, I'm gonna have to teach

-Freddy the meaning of sarcasm. -Yeah.

What's sarcasm?

(CHAIN RATTLES)

(FRED GRUNTS)

DAPHNE: Boy, this place sure gives new meaning

to haunt couture. (CHUCKLES)

SCOOBY-DOO: Huh?

It's a fashion joke.

This lipstick definitely came from here.

No sense letting these go to waste.

That means whoever was in Wayne Manor has been here.

And maybe they still are. Look!

This is great! Let's split up and look for clues.

(CLEARS THROAT) I would now like to state my optional fussness

and objectifyingly state,

splitting up never ends well for any of us,

-especially me and Scoob. -Yeah.

Great. You, Scoob and Velma take the upstairs.

Daphne and I will take the basement.

He never listens.

(GROWLS)

Huh? (SNIFFING)

(YELPING)

A monkey with cymbals

and he clanged on my nose like this, clang, clang, clang!

Shh! Quiet, Scooby, I hear something.

(DISTANT WHIRRING)

That's the sound of a 4TS processor fan working overtime.

(GROWLING)

VELMA: Well, well, well, what have we here?

This laptop is working

to hack into Bruce Wayne's bank accounts.

Boys, this mystery is really starting to come together.

Time to call Batman.

-Call Batman? -Like, just call him?

(DIALING)

(PHONE RINGING)

-(BEEPS) -Who is this?

Hey, Batman, it's me Velma. Velma Dinkley.

How did you get this number?

Oh, I hacked it off your utility belt

when you were threatening Shaggy and Scooby earlier.

-Hmm. -Respect, V. Respect.

Look, we've made a crazy discovery in this mystery.

Do you know Bruce Wayne?

You know, that dude who's crazy super rich and stuff?

Uh, yes. I am familiar with Mr. Wayne.

Well, someone is trying to hack into his bank accounts

using a sophisticated algorithm to crack his password.

Maybe it has to do with Mr. Pennyworth's abduction.

I'm sending you a pic now.

Ms. Dinkley, I'm not sure what you've discovered,

but my investigation

has led me to Dr. Kirk Langstrom.

The claw measurements at Wayne Manor

match the Man-Bat.

Oh, I have to put you on hold for a moment.

-(BEEPS) -VELMA: (ON PHONE) Still here, Batman.

-(BEEPS) -Still here.

-Nope, you just gotta hang up. -(BEEPING)

Bat... Batman, if you hit... Press the other... Press the other button.

-(BEEPING) -Maybe if you take your glove off.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON PHONE)

Why wasn't I notified that Langstrom escaped?

Langstrom? He didn't escape, Mr. Batman, he's right here.

(GROWLING)

(GASPS)

(MAN-BAT SNARLING)

This can't be right.

(GROWLS)

No, wait, wait, wait. Don't go.

Okay, well... Thanks for the visit, Batman.

Come back any time.

No, it can't be.

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

BATMAN: (ON PHONE) Ms. Dinkley, you were right.

I know who's behind this.

You do? That's great.

No, it's not.

You're in grave danger. Get out of there. Now!

Now?

(ROARING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

BATMAN:Ms. Dinkley? Velma? Shaggy-haired hippy guy?

Talking dog...

(LAUGHING)

(SHAGGY AND SCOOBY-DOO WHIMPERING)

(GROWLS)

('70S MUSIC PLAYING)

(CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)

(SCREAMS)

I think we lost old winged and creepy.

Shh!

Shh!

Shh!

(GASPS)

(ROARS)

-Yikes! -Yikes!

Ahhh!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(SNIFFS AND GROWLS)

(SNIFFING)

VELMA: Shaggy? Scooby?

BOTH: Phew.

VELMA:I've lost my glasses.

You guys know I can't see without my glasses.

Shaggy, is that you?

-(VELMA SCREAMS) -Hold on, Velma. We are coming.

(SCOOBY-DOO WHIMPERING)

(GASPS) Oh, we are too late, Scoob.

She's gone.

(WHIMPERS)

Daph, I don't see how this is gonna help us solve this mystery.

DAPHNE: Don't be silly, Fred.

The real mystery here is how all these amazing retro fashions

were left on the rack like this.

Such a waste.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

-SHAGGY: Run! -(SCOOBY-DOO WHIMPERS)

-(ALL GRUNT) -(THUDS)

-The Man-Bat-- -He took Velma.

(GRUNTS) Well, that's it.

It's one thing for some Man-Bat monster to take Daphne's old butler--

-Substitute polo player. -Slash family friend.

Slash, sort of, uncle.

But it's quite another for him to take Velma.

She's one of ours.

It's time to set a trap for this Man-Bat once and for all.

Tell us everything that happened.

Start at the beginning.

Well, there was this awful

shrieking and screeching and howling. That was me.

And then, the Man-Bat

was all hissy, hissy, hissy... (HISSING)

And I was like... (SCREAMING)

And Shaggy was like, "No way, dude. No way, dude."

And Velma was like, "My glasses. My glasses."

And there was this running and screaming and then,

and then, and then, the Man-Bat broke my phone.

I've got an idea for a trap.

But, Scooby, I'm gonna need you to be the bait.

Uh-uh, nothing doing.

Would you do it for a Scooby snack?

-Nope. -Two Scooby snacks?

No way.

Five Scooby snacks?

-Three. -FRED: Done. Three.

Hmm.

Hey...

(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)

(LEVER SQUEAKING)

Hello, Mom, it's me Scoobert. Just calling.

Um, out doing a little shopping all by myself.

Helpless. Carrying a whole bunch of cash

and totally all alone.

Oh. Oh.

Alone. Alone.

Did I mention defenseless?

(ROARS)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREECHING)

Yikes!

(WHIMPERING)

(CHUCKLES)

(SCREECHING)

Uh-oh.

(SCREAMING)

(GROWLING)

He's here... Whoa!

(ROARING)

Yikes! (WHIMPERS)

Now, Daphne!

(WHIMPERING)

Oh, no! He went around it.

Now, Shaggy!

(YELPING)

-(MAN-BAT SCREAMS) -Yikes!

Yikes!

Whoa!

Whoa!

-Whoa! -(GRUNTS)

Ow!

Ahhh!

(FRED SCREAMS)

-(SCREAMING) -(GRUNTS)

-(GASPS) -Daphne, behind you!

-Jeepers! -(GROWLING)

(HISSING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(SNARLING)

-(CHUCKLING) -(DAPHNE WHIMPERS)

-(GLASS CRACKING) -DAPHNE: Huh?

(MAN-BAT GROANS)

(BOTH CONTINUE SCREAMING)

-BOTH: Huh? -(ROARS)

(WIND HOWLING)

(GRUNTS)

(STRAINING)

(GROWLS)

(BOTH WHIMPERING)

Ahhh!

(GASPS)

(WHIMPERING)

(SCREAMS)

Huh? (GRUNTING)

(BOTH WHIMPER)

(YELPS)

Huh?

-(PUNCHES LANDING) -(OBJECTS CLATTERING)

(CRASHING)

(SNARLING)

-Not so fast, Man-Bat. -(SHAGGY SCREAMING)

(GRUNTS AND GROANS)

-SHAGGY: We hosed him. -Oh, yeah!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

-(MAN-BAT ROARING) -(SHAGGY YELPS)

(SHAGGY WHIMPERING)

(RUMBLING)

Oh! Zoinks! That can't be good.

(ROARS)

(WHIMPERS)

(BOTH SCREAM)

(SHAGGY STRAING)

Oh! Oh!

(SHAGGY AND SCOOBY-DOO SCREAMING)

Batman. You're so cool!

Now, let's see who this Man-Bat really is.

Langstrom! That can't be right.

I saw him in his cell at Arkham.

Uncle Alfie?

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Okay. This is just getting silly.

Oh, you know it, Batsy.

ALL: The Joker?

Ooh, that's better.

All those masks were just so hot

and my face was living in the tropics.

And not in a good way, if you know what I mean.

-(CHUCKLES) -Joker!

Just as I figured from the evidence

that Velma sent me from the computer upstairs.

Zoinks! Where is Velma, anyway?

Well, don't look at me, Shaggy.

These lips are sealed.

Unless I'm giggling. (GIGGLES)

BATMAN: Found them.

You see, the mystery was really very simple.

The Joker posed as the Man-Bat

and he used an elaborate system of pulleys, gears and wires,

and a bit of a controlled gliding to make it appear he could fly.

And all this because he wanted to get Alfred's passwords

to Bruce Wayne's bank account.

It was basically just a heist.

Not basically, sweater girl.

It was going to be one of the biggest heists of all time.

Technically, it was a kidnapping.

As I was saying, before being so rudely interrupted,

I won't mention any names, cough-cough, Batman,

cough-cough, I need a lot of money

to fund all my great escapades and capers.

I brought Alfred here to help me access

Bruce Wayne's bank accounts.

He just need a little persuasion.

(RUMBLING)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

And then, you horrible children

showed up and spoiled everything.

I was so close to having all that money.

(CHUCKLES) And you know what?

I would have gotten away with it, too,

if it weren't for you meddling kids and your talking dog.

Oh, and Batman of course.

Well, at least that lipstick clue totally makes sense now.

Oh, girlfriend, I just love that shade!

As decadent as it is rare. (CHUCKLING)

With your beautiful hair and skin tones,

I have a few make-up tips for you to try.

Oh, do share. Do share.

DAPHNE: Oh, Uncle Alfie, I'm so glad you're okay.

It's so good to see you again.

And I'm so glad you're, like, making us dinner

'cause I'm, like, starving. (INHALING)

Oh, it's my pleasure, Master Shaggy.

I only wish Master Wayne were here to meet you, too.

(ALL GASP)

The Man-Bat!

(CHUCKLES)

Scooby-Dooby-Doo!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)