Original subtitles

According to City Hall officials,

the Mayor said he won't make the mistake of inviting

an orangutan to a press conference again

without bringing any banas.

[chuckling] Peeling off from that story,

in local news, our very own hometown hero, Kenan Thompson

will be MCing our annual QTTV telethon this year.

[man laughing over intercom]

-[intercom buzzing] -I'm getting some interference.

Uh, something's definitely wrong here.

-[laughing continues] -Whoa, hey, hey!

[laughing continues]

-[crashing] -It's the curse!

-Ahhh! -[gasping]

[laughing maniacally]

It's Pazzo!

[all screaming]

[laughing maniacally]

[bats screeching]

♪Scooby-Dooby-Doo and Guess Who?♪

♪We know you're one in a million♪

♪Scooby-Doo♪

♪We can count on you Scooby-Doo♪

♪To catch and unmask that villain♪

[Shaggy]Zoinks! It's Kenan Thompson!

Like, man, are you sure this is the place?

Yup. QTTT TV!

-This is it. -Kenan Thompson.

That's right, dude. He is totally like...

[all] Actor and comedian, Kenan Thompson.

Uh, yeah, thanks. I already know that. [chuckles]

Uh, hi. I'm Megan, station manager.

I'm so glad you're here.

Always happy to help my favorite hometown TV station.

I am but a humble thespian at your service.

And we're his mouses.

Not mouses, Scoob. Muses. We're Kenan's muses. [laughs]

Oh! My fountain of inspiration, these two.

Plus, if they laugh, I know I've struck me some serious comedy gold.

Ka-ching!

We certainly need those laughs around here.

If tonight's telethon isn't a success,

we're gonna have to close the station.

I'm down to a skeleton crew.

-[both exclaiming] -Relax!

It just means a small crew.

That's why I'm so excited

you agreed to headline our telethon, Kenan.

You're our last hope. You're gonna save us.

Well, then we need more than just a telethon.

That's right, you heard me. What we need is a Kenathon!

-[both giggling] -[both] A Kenathon?

Like, show 'em your dance moves, man.

Twinkle toes! Gleep, glurp, glurp, glurp.

[both giggling]

Wait, now show her King Tutan-Kenan.

Oh! Walk like an Egyptian.

Oh, yeah, go everywhere. I feel like new money!

Why, dude, do another one, do another one.

[imitating dog]

Dude, Scoob, dog, dog, Scoob. [laughs]

-[both giggling] -Who's that?

[Megan] The station attorney, AJ Dobbs.

He's been the cool head during this tough time.

Excuse me, we need to get going, Megan,

for our meeting with the bank.

Oh, right, right.

The telethon goes live at seven o'clock.

Use whatever you need to get ready, stages, cameras,

you got the place to yourselves.

Uh, is there anything I'm forgettin'?

Did you tell them about the curse?

Curse?

Yes, the curse of Pazzo, the ghost clown.

[both] Ghost clown.

[Shaggy screams]

-[car beeping] -[both grunting]

Ghost clown?

[chuckles nervously] Good luck.

See you in a bit.

This is truly somethin'.

I spent my childhood watchin' this local TV station.

All the old cartoons, the TV reruns.

The Pazzo the Clown show.

As in Pazzo, the ghost clown?

I dunno anything about that.

All I know is that I love me somePazzo the Clown when I was a kid.

You two know, there's no such thing as ghosts.

Excuse me, Velma.

For Scoob and me, the jury is still out on that one.

Ghosts could definitely be real.

They always seem real to me.

[gulps]

[laughs evilly]

Relax, guys, there's nothing to be afraid of.

[all screaming]

[cell phone beeping]

It's Pazzo.

-Pazzo! [whimpering] -I really don't like clowns.

-Nobody move. -[all exclaim]

Wouldn't want you to get hurt in the dark.

Wow, that really startled me.

[Shaggy groans]

Sorry to startle you.

I'm the contractor from the construction site next door.

My boys accidentally blew a breaker.

Ah! Shoot.

All the wiring is connected between these old buildings.

I'm gonna have to rewire everything.

Oh, man. This is where they taped

all the original Pazzo the Clown shows

I watched them over and over.

And they had this great part in the opening credits

where Pazzo throws a pie in a kid's face.

It was comedic genius. Oh, how I wanted to be that kid.

Gettin' that pie in the face every day

for all of TV eternity.

To be a part of comedy legend.

[sighs] Pazzo was one of my earliest influences.

He had such a brilliant sense of comedic...

[all] Timing!

-Uh, yeah. Timing. Good job, guys. -[door opens]

[all screaming]

-Hi. -Simone?

Hi, hey, hey, hi. Hello. Simone.

Yeah, I'm Kenan's acting partner.

Hey, hi, pleasure. What's up?

What are you doing here? We talked about this.

We are not in middle school drama club anymore, Simone.

I'm a solo act now. Solo.

As in,uno, mano, me, myself and I.

This isn't over, Kenan Thompson.

You will be sorry.

Hmm...

You got any ideas what you might do on the telethon, Kenan?

Well, some skits and sketches. Maybe some surprises.

You know, improvise while I televise.

Huh? Ah!

[gasps] Shaggy, you're invisible.

-Ahhh! -Scoob!

Like, where did I go? [screaming]

You've got a great t-shirt against the green screen.

It's TV magic, bro.

[giggles]

[ghost clown giggling]

Huh, it looks like we're experiencing some technical difficulties.

Please stand by.

-[typing] -Ahhh!

[crashes]

[laughs evilly]

Get out!

Where's that signal coming from?

Some kind of outside hack.

Or an inside curse?

You've been warned. Get out!

Or be cursed.

-[both exclaiming] -Like somebody, hand me the remote.

I wanna change this kooky ghost channel.

Hey, what the...

Hey, hey, hey, now, ain't no remote there.

I can't find it.

[laughing evilly]

[squeaking]

-[growls] -[both scream]

[growls]

Come on, Scoob. Let's take the catwalk!

Get out! [laughing evilly]

Or be doomed.

-Zoinks. -Oh.

-[growling] -[both screaming]

-Whoa, whoa, whoa. -[laughing maniacally]

Like, maybe we need to cut back on the Scooby Snacks.

[both whimpering]

[both screaming]

Huh?

Now, that's what I call makin' an entrance.

And it seems our ghost clown has made its exit.

But not before leaving this behind.

Looks like somebody just handed us our first clue.

[Kenan] Well, you know who could crack this caper wide open?

-MC Detective Kenan Clue-man. -[horn blows]

[beatboxing]

[rapping] ♪ I'm spinnin' rhymes While solving my crimes ♪

♪ My style is lyrical And my evidence empirical ♪

♪ I wear the gum Gum, gum shoes ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm sneaking up on Cli, cli, cli, clues ♪

Well, gang, I don't know comedy, but I do know this.

We can't let that ghost clown stop the telethon.

It's time we split up and look for clues.

He always says that.

Shaggy, Scooby, you stay with Kenan while he rehearses for the telethon.

-The Kenathon. -Thanks, Scoob.

Daphne and Velma, and I will check the building for anything suspicious.

♪ Talkin' on My, my, my behalf ♪

♪ Hope the ghost clown Won't get the la, la The very last laugh ♪

The very last laugh. [laughing]

Oh, man, this telethon needs to be a really big hit to save the station.

All right, while I try out some stuff,

pretend you're watching me on TV, okay?

It helps me with my process.

Like totally!

[both laughing]

[both continue laughing]

I haven't done anything, yet.

Like, man, Scoob. Am I crazy or is that dude on TV talkin' to us?

[both laughing]

Uh-oh. Oh, no.

I'm a man trapped inside a television.

Hey, let me outta here.

[both laughing]

Help, help. Hey, you! I'm talkin' to you.

-Oh! -[both laughing]

Man, I love this show.

-It's my favorite. -Mine too.

[Fred] I once read that scorpions glow in the dark, naturally.

There's nothing natural about a glowing clown

Or supernatural, for that matter. Look.

[all singing indistinctly]

Yeah.

[all laughing]

Nice, just the right mix of funk, spunk,

and alley-oop for the dunk.

-Yeah. -[all laughing]

That's gonna be hard to follow.

Maybe I should save it for last.

But wait, what do I do in the middle.

Aw, I just boxed myself into a talent corner.

-What do I do? -[both] Hmm...

-You could tell some jokes. -I like knock, knocks.

-No. -How about spinning plates?

-No. -Bird calls?

-No! -Impressions?

-Monologue? -No!

Wait, go back. Impressions?

[imitating] And like, zoinks, Scoob.

I'm, like, itching for some of those

like, Kooky, crazy, like...

Scooby, like, Snacks.

Like, dude, like, I don't like say, like, like, that much.

[chuckles] You do, Shaggy.

Like, not really.

Ruh-roh, Shaggy. Ruh-roh, ruh-roh.

-I don't say "Ruh-roh." -Like, yeah, you do.

No I don't.

-Do so. -You do so.

-Do so. -I don't.

-[both] You do. -I don't.

-You do so. -You... Do so.

I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. [whimpers]

Ruh-roh, I said it too many times.

It wouldn't be a mystery without a creepy basement.

[Daphne and Velma gasping]

[laughing evilly]

-Simone? -[gasps]

[exclaims]

Hmm, glow in the dark makeup.

This stuff is available at party stores.

Clown makeup and a couple of rubber noses, all new.

-Huh. -[clown laughing]

Ahhh!

Leave now and never return.

You have been warned.

[laughs maniacally]

Something tells me we need to get to know

this Pazzo character just a little bit better.

Let's check the video archives, see what we can find.

The Kenathon is on.

This wonderful station needs your help, folks.

Operators are standing by to take your calls and...

-What? -[voice shaking]

Too stiff?

-[Scooby] Uh, uh, Kenan. -Should I add more razzmatazz?

-A little soft shoe? -Kenan!

-I'm open for notes. -Like, dude, only one note.

-[voice shaking] Ghost clown. -Right behind you!

[air whooshing]

[babbling]

Ahhh!

[all screaming]

Oh, no. They're in trouble.

Velma, you check out the video archives.

Daphne and I will help Shaggy, Scooby and Mr. Thompson.

This isn't funny anymore.

[both grunting]

-Ahhh! -[thudding]

Who's laughing, now?

-[grunts] -[Kenan screams]

[thuds]

[Shaggy screaming]

[whistling]

[grunts]

That sure ain't the Pazzo I remember.

What is that thing?

Huh!

All these Pazzo the Clown tapes have been erased.

That doesn't make any sense.

Oh, what's this one?

[chuckles]Hey! It's the Pazzo the Clown show.

Hurray!

[Velma laughs]

Kenan was right, that is pretty funny.

[gasps] Jinkies.

That's it, I've got to tell the others.

[laughing maniacally]

Ahhh!

Jinkies!

-[Daphne] Velma? -Like, where is Velma?

[Scooby whimpers]

-She's gone missing. -Yeah.

-[glass clanking] -Turn around.

I'm locked in this sound proof booth.

We've only got an hour

before Kenan has to go live for the telethon.

-The Kenathon. -Uh, right. Thanks, Scooby.

We have to find Velma and...

Let me guess.

-Ghost clown? -[all] Check.

-And he's right behind me? -Double check.

[growling]

[laughing]

Boy, do I hate clowns!

-Ahhh! -[Fred] Run!

[clown laughing]

This way!

[growls]

[laughing]

Huh?

[splattering]

[hiccups]

[growls]

-[screaming] -[Kenan babbling]

[clown laughing]

[both whimpering]

[clown laughing evilly]

Excuse me, miss. Is this hiding spot taken?

Kenan, it's me, Velma.

Oh, sorry. I didn't recognize you without your glasses.

[laughs]

Come on, we need to get out of here.

Ha! That's better.

This mystery is really starting to come together.

Kenan, let's start this show

because I know just how to capture this ghost clown.

I hope you know what you're doin'.

Don't worry, we do.

Just make sure, you and the crew stay clear

when it all goes down.

The most important thing in mystery solving and comedy is...

Timing.

[both chomping]

[crunching]

Like, dude. I dunno what's causing all this nervous eating, Scoob.

It's either the pre-show jitters or that horrible ghost clown.

Both. [chomping]

[singing] Do-Re-Mi!

[spitting]

Mmm. [singing]♪ Do-Re-Mi ♪

♪ Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti... ♪

♪ Do! ♪

[babbling]

Check.

[clears throat]

[babbling]

Rubber baby buggy bumpers.

Rubber baby buggy bumpers. [exhales]

[Megan]Okay, it's showtime.

Live in five,

four, three, two...

-[beeps] -[crowd cheering]

Welcome to the QTTT

Kenan Thompson television time telethon.

I'm your host, Kenan Thompson and we're coming to you live

from our beloved local station in beautiful downtown Atlanta.

-[thuds] -[ghost clown] I warned you!

I warned you all.

Now, you shall pay the price.

[laughing maniacally]

[Velma] Or maybe you'll pay the price, Pazzo.

[chuckles]Hey! It's the Pazzo The Clown show.

Hurray!

Oh, man! That pie.

That face!

Comedic genius, right there.

[Pazzo chuckles]

[growls]

Oh, no, no, no, no!

[gasping] Shut it off!

[Pazzo chuckling on TV]

It'sThe Pazzo the Clownshow.

Hurray!

No.

Shut it off, shut it off.

Not the pie!

Ta-da!

[all gasping]

Simon, what are you doing?

I'm makin' my big entrance.

-Oh. -[scatting]

Like, Scoob. At least, it wasn't us

that ruined the trap this time.

-[chuckles] -Yeah.

Oh, no. He's getting away.

Come on, gang.

Timing, Simone, you really need to work on your timing.

[panting]

It's over, there's no place left to go.

[laughing maniacally]

I vote we just leave him up there.

Who's with me?

No, no, no, no.

[screaming]

Now, let's see who this ghost clown really is.

[all] AJ Dobbs, the station attorney?

Hey, I know that guy, he's the guy who's been blockin' my application

to declare the TV station a historical landmark.

[gasps] That would protect it for generations to come.

Why would you try to block that?

Because AJ Dobbs is none other than the pie boy

in the opening credits ofThe Pazzo the Clown show.

You mean, you're that little boy?

He was a child actor who was paid to be part of the show.

-Part of TV comedy history? -And how I hated it.

Can you imagine what it was like to see yourself

get a pie in the face for all eternity?

Yes! Yes, I can.

So lucky.

Oh, I so wanted to be you.

Not lucky at all.

I was the pie boy, I couldn't stand it.

I wanted my revenge!

So much so, that he wanted to erase it forever.

After law school, he got himself hired as the station's lawyer

and began exploiting the urban legend

of Pazzo's curse to sabotage the station from the inside,

and destroy all the tapes ofThe Pazzo the Clown show.

Sacrilege. You were gonna what?

I was so close to finally shutting this place down

and destroying every last tape of me

getting that pie in the face.

So close! And I would have gotten away with it too.

If it weren't for you meddling--

-Ta-da! -Oh!

Timing.

What an amazing night. We have crushed our goal.

I mean, who knew that unmasking a crazy ghost clown

on a TV show would make a great TV show.

But here we are and it ain't over yet.

Please give a warm welcome home to the real Pazzo the Clown.

Hey!

Thanks, Kenan. Good to be back.

Tell us, what have you been doing with yourself?

Well, now, I run a pie place.

Of course you do.

And as a lifelong fan,

I can think of no greater thrill

than to get one of Pazzo's pies thrown in my face.

Really?

You know it, pie me.

Shaggy, Scooby, would you do the honors?

Pepperoni or sausage?

-Excuse me? -[splattering]

[crowd laughing]

It's Pazzo's pizza pie place. [laughing]

That's a whole new kind of pie in the face.

And I love it.

Making TV comedy history, right here.

Scooby-Dooby-Doo!

[theme music playing]