Original subtitles

[indie music playing]

Hey, uh, Mr. Tally, we need to talk, man.

What are you doing here?

Why aren't you out there in the Doc Tally costume?

What am I even paying you for?

For my acting.

Which... [sighs] brings me to the script.

[imitating a hippy] "Dig this, you crazy chicks and ding-dong daddies."

[in normal voice] Who wrote this?

My father, Doc Tally.

Oh, sorry. I mean...

[stammers] How about I do a tiny rewrite?

I happen to be a writer, too. And a director.

Kind of a triple threat. [laughs smugly]

The only threat I can see is you're about to get fired.

Learn your lines and get out there!

[scoffs] Actors.

[low growling]

Um, Tally? Rick, is that you?

What? [yelling]

-[laughs maniacally] -[yelling]

[screaming]

[bats screeching]

♪ Scooby-Dooby-Doo and Guess Who? ♪

♪ We know you're one in a million ♪

♪ Scooby-Doo ♪

♪ We can count on you, Scooby-Doo ♪

♪ To catch and unmask that villain ♪

[Shaggy] Zoinks! It's Jim Gaffigan!

Attention, racers,

I'm Rick Tally

and this is my brother, Bill.

We'd like to welcome you all

to Doc Tally's fast food relay race.

It's because of fans like you

that Doc Tally has been able

to bring you the fastest fast food

for 70 years.

Now, how about 70 more?

[all cheering]

[both exclaiming]

It's him.

[slurping]

-It's him. -[both gasp]

[both chanting] Burgers, fries. Burgers, fries.

Scoob, with our appetites we got this one in the bag.

Shaggy, look.

Not him!

[slurping]

[sighs in relief]

Yes, dude, it's me,

in all my paleness.

Wow! It's...

[Fred, Daphne, Velma] Actor, writer, producer

and stand-up comedian, Jim Gaffigan!

Like, he's a total fast food aficionado.

[gulps]

I prefer "glutton"

or "male model."

Now, if you don't mind,

I'd like to listen to Rick start his competition

that I'm about to win.

The rules for the race are simple.

Drive the circuit of Doc Tally restaurants,

eat the required burgers, fries and shakes,

and then return here for the finale.

And the winner gets...

the first ever, off the grill,

Doc Tally supreme with cheese!

[crowd gasping]

Still in its original wrapper.

-Oh, that sounds good. -[chuckles]

-[electricity crackling] -Huh?

[chuckles] Hang on, folks.

Let me find out what's going on with the lights.

Like, Scoob, my mouth is watering

just thinking about that 70-year-old burger.

Yeah, me too.

Well, don't let your mouths get too watery

'cause I'm gonna be the one eating that 70-year-old burger.

And I'm gonna eat it right in front of you

and those meddling kids.

[horn honking]

[honking rapidly]

[laughing maniacally]

[barking]

[people screaming]

[exclaims]

[all exclaiming]

[tires screech]

[laughing maniacally]

[people screaming]

[screams]

[tires screeching]

[people screaming]

[electricity crackles]

I'm out of here!

What the heck was that?

[tires screeching, car honks]

[both yelling]

It was the Spectral Speedster.

[both] The Spectral Speedster?

The Spectral Speedster was a hot rod racer

that ruled these roads more than 60 years ago.

One night he was racing for a Doc Tally triple decker

and crashed.

His body was never found.

It's rumored, his horrible ghost cursed

all the Doc Tally restaurants forever and ever!

[thunderclap]

I think that old lady had one too many Tally milkshakes,

you know what I mean? [laughing]

Rick, call this thing off.

Somebody's going to get hurt.

Bill, I can't.

We need this race.

It's gonna put Doc Tally's back on the map.

You know the business needs this boost.

Just like Dad,

burgers in the blood.

Now, listen up!

I know you're scared.

-[Scooby whimpering] -But to sweeten the deal,

I'll personally throw in a pack of the 50-year-old ketchup.

[crowd gasping]

A real Doc Tally collectible as part of the prize!

[both exclaiming]

Awesome.

Fifty-year-old ketchup packet?

You know how many years that is? That's like...

a lot of years.

Of course, I'm doing it.

Race!

Race! Race!

[all chanting] Race! Race! Race!

[engine revving]

[car honks]

[engine revving]

Hey, Mystery Gang,

love your ancient van.

Are you gonna drop that off at the history museum?

[laughs]

Wow. Like, dude, that's the Calzonemobile.

Mr. Gaffigan totally won that calzone

in an eating contest.

That doesn't look like any calzone I've ever eaten.

That's because it's a car.

Well, not just any car,

it runs on natural gas

and a lot of calzones.

And it is ready to crush this Doc Tally contest.

And of course, crush you guys. [chuckles]

Like, that's too bad

'cause Scoob and I are ready to crush it, too.

Yeah, crush it.

Hey, I've always been curious,

why are you guys more freaked out

by pretend ghosts than a talking dog?

[Rick] All right!

On your mark!

[engine revving]

Get set!

[engine revving]

Go!

[tires screeching]

[engine accelerating]

-[Fred] Hmm. -Huh?

[grunting]

Yeah!

[tires screeching]

[engine accelerating]

[crowd cheering]

[tires screech]

[grunts]

[all grunting]

Excuse me, young men.

After you, ma'am.

Losers!

[cackles]

[all straining]

[Jim] You go first.

[laughing]

[engine revs]

[slurping]

[Jim, in deep voice] Scooby. Scooby-doo.

What you doing, buddy?

[high-pitched] He's trying to beat Jim Gaffigan

in a food eating contest.

[in deep voice] That's crazy.

He doesn't stand a chance.

Poor, simple dog.

[high-pitched] I know what he's thinking.

That is just silly.

[whimpering]

Don't listen to those mean hamburgers, Scooby.

You can do it. Keep eating, bud.

[in normal voice] Listen to the dancing fries, Scooby.

They want to tell you to give up.

[high-pitched] You should give up.

Jim Gaffigan can't beat...

[normal voice] Can't beat...

[high-pitched] You can't beat Jim Gaffigan.

[whimpering]

[gulps]

-[thumping] -[slurping]

-Do you hear that? -[thumping]

Ugh, what is that awful smell?

[Fred] It's coming from there.

[muffled speaking, thumping]

[straining]

[exclaims]

[roaring]

[all exclaiming]

Hey, wait a sec.

[muffled speaking]

[groaning]

It was that horrible bug-eyed monster.

He attacked me and I woke up here.

Oh, why would he do that to an actor, writer, director?

Hmm, yes, very good question.

Look, someone has deliberately sabotaged this freezer.

This has been cut.

Guys, looks like we have a real mystery on our hands.

[slurping]

See you boys at the finish line. [chuckles]

I'll be the good-looking guy eating the 70-year-old burger.

[laughing]

[both gasp]

-[Jim, high-pitched] And Gaffigan wins it again! -[tires screech]

The crowd is going crazy.

[mimicking crowd] Ah!

[deep voice] And what does he win, Pat?

A super-sized bag of French fries.

-[gulping] -[horn honking]

[laughing maniacally]

I warned you.

[groans]

You owe me fries, Spectral!

[tires screech]

[gasping]

[crashes]

[brakes screech]

[Spectral laughing]

[grunts]

[gasps]

[laughing maniacally]

-[car honking] -[snarls]

[brakes squeak]

Hey, Mr. Gaffigan, are you okay?

Get in. We'll give you a lift.

Like, you guys, you don't understand,

Mr. Gaffigan is the competion.

He made hamburgers say mean things to Scooby-Doo.

And dancing French fries.

Uh, you know, I thought they were good dancers

but I thought the fries were rude, too.

Sorry to interrupt, but listen to what I found out.

"The Doc Tally fast food chain has been on the verge

of bankruptcy five times."

-What? No way! -But the food's so great.

Yeah.

There's an insurance policy for millions of dollars.

So, maybe Rick Tally has been repeatedly trying

to bankrupt his own food chain,

so he can cash in on the insurance policy.

Gang, I think we have our first suspect.

-[grunting] -Hey, hey, hey.

What's going on back there?

Like, dude, arms off my armrest!

What are you talking about?

These armrests clearly belong

to the person in the middle,

which is me. [grunts]

These are dog armrests.

[chuckling] They are not. Sorry.

-Are, too. -Are not.

-Are, too. -Are not.

[barking repeatedly]

That's infinity.

Say "Are, too" if Jim Gaffigan is great.

Okay, that's it. I'm pulling over.

Wait, Freddie, everyone is passing us.

We have to get back in the race.

We'll be good. We promise.

We promise like angels.

Yeah, angels. [whimpers]

[tires screech]

-[brakes screech] -Zoinks! We're totally in last place now.

[gasps]

[all whimper]

Sports drink? Gotta stay hydrated.

I hope you like lemon-lime.

I drank all the cherry. It's my favorite.

You and Daphne check the kitchen

and I'll head around back.

As soon as we're done collecting clues

we'll meet out front.

[all grunting]

Gutsy move.

I see someone follows my eating techniques.

[chuckles]

[laughing wickedly]

[munching] Hmm?

[rattling]

Wait, did you hear that?

Like, that doesn't sound good.

[rattling]

[both whimper]

Oh, crud.

[yells]

[effort grunts]

-[Scooby] Huh? -[Jim] Help! Shaggy!

Scooby! Help!

Okay, hang on.

Grab Scooby's tail.

[Jim] Oh, no.

It's delicious. I mean, it's non-dairy--

-[Scooby gulps] -...but it's delicious.

I wanna thank you two. You... You saved my life.

You know, I guess, if you have to go,

drowning in ice cream wouldn't be so bad.

[both laughing]

Oh, yeah.

[Velma] So far, we have the suspicious actor,

the strange rich people,

rotten meat, an ice cream explosion,

and multiple health violations in the past few months.

First of all, Velma,

there's nothing wrong with rotten meat.

And if it's my bet, it's the old lady.

Look, cars.

Like, it's the rest of the racers.

I still can win it!

I mean, we, totally, we can still win this race.

[horns honking]

[laughing maniacally]

My road! Mine!

-[horns honking] -[laughing maniacally]

[continues honking]

[cackles]

[brakes screech]

[snarls]

-[laughs maniacally] -[honking horn]

My road! Mine!

[honking]

-[Spectral laughing maniacally] -[barking]

-Oh, turnip tunas! -[barking]

Surf's up!

[both gasp]

[men yelling]

[laughing]

[groaning]

Hang on, gang and Mr. Gaffigan,

time for a little boost.

[hisses]

[all gasp]

[all screaming]

[stops laughing] Huh?

[tires screeching]

Whoa.

I gotta get one of those buttons

for my Calzonemobile.

We have to move fast.

There's a lot of work to do before the monster gets here.

It's trappin' time!

Speak for yourself.

It's eatin' time for us.

We're the only ones left in the competion.

[all grunting]

[all thud, groan]

[all whooping]

[gulps] Uh-oh.

Eating this last burger without you guys

and winning the race all by myself,

I gotta tell you, just feels wrong.

Let's all do it together.

-Yeah. -Like, dude,

you'd do that for us?

Ready, gentlemen?

On three.

One--

Two--

Three!

[gulps]

[air horn blows]

A three-way tie.

It's time to present

the winners of the Doc Tally Fastest Fast Food Race

with their prize.

-[cracking] -What?

Run!

[snarling]

[all exclaiming]

[grunts, groaning]

[grunts]

Jeepers!

-[spectral laughs maniacally] -[yelling] Whoa!

[objects clattering]

[yells]

[screams]

-[Scooby] Order, sir? -Huh?

French fries.

[grunting]

[growling]

-Zoink! -[all gasp]

[growling]

[all whimpering]

[laughs menacingly]

[fryer beeps]

Jinkies! He's rigged the fryer.

It's gonna blow!

[siren blaring]

[explosion]

[gasping]

It's raining French fries.

Dreams really do come true.

[laughing] French fries.

[both laughing]

[Spectral laughing maniacally]

Gang! The monster is getting away!

Like, go on without us, Daph.

It's raining fries...

from the sky!

Sky fries. [chuckling]

You really think catching French fries

is more important than solving this mystery?

You're hysterical! [laughs]

Oh, you're serious.

[tires screech]

Hang on, gang!

[snarls]

[tires screech]

Hey, Spectral Speedster!

-[tires screeching] -Whoa!

[Fred] Have a nice swim!

[screaming]

[Jim] Now, let's see who the monster really is.

I'm still betting it's the old lady.

[all] Bill Tally?

It all makes perfect sense.

When we found the actor tied up in the cooler,

the belt tied around his wrists had a gold bow on the buckle,

the same type of belt that Bill Tally was wearing

at the start of the race.

But, like, why? Why'd you do it?

Our father, Doc Tally, left the restaurant business

to my brother and cheated me out of it.

He was always Dad's favorite.

I wanted my revenge.

And I sabotaged

the Doc Tally food chain for months!

I almost bankrupted him.

So, then I created the Spectral Speedster

as my chance to finally destroy the Doc Tally food chain.

And I would have gotten my revenge too,

if it weren't for you meddling kids

and that comedy legend Jim Gaffigan.

I wanna thank you, mystery solvers,

and Jim Gaffigan for saving the Doc Tally fast food chain.

We are more successful than ever.

-Who knew having a monster terrorize everyone -Oh?

would bring in a ton of business?

It's time to present

the winners of the Doc Tally Fastest Fast Food Race

with their prize!

Wow!

The sheer beauty of that 70-year-old burger

-makes me wanna-- -Vomit?

Weep.

Like, the most beautiful thing

I have ever seen.

-Wow. -Wow.

[all] Hmm.

It's, uh, chewier than I expected.

But in an unchewable way.

Pass the 50-year-old ketchup.

-Mmm. -[ketchup squirts]

Hmm, that doesn't help either.

[theme music playing]