Original subtitles

SHAGGY: Ah, Chicago!

Known as the "Windy City," it was founded in 1837

and boasts a population of 2.7 million.

See, I have my moments of brilliance.

Or you're just reading over my shoulder.

Impressive, right? I can read.

(BOTH GIGGLING)

Yeah, read.

Then I hope you can also read why we're here.

These reports of a crazy robot running amok in the city.

Crazy robot? You lied to us!

Like you said yesterday, and I quote,

"Let's go to Chicago for some of that famous deep-dish pizza

"and not a crazy robot."

What? I never said "Let's go to Chicago

"for some of that famous deep-dish pizza and not a crazy robot."

(BOTH GIGGLING)

No, but you did today.

VELMA: (ON RECORDING) Let's go to Chicago

for some of that famous deep-dish pizza

-and not a crazy robot. -(GIGGLING)

Yes!

-How can you possibly be thinking of more food? -(CRUNCHING)

Can't hear you, Fred.

Scoob and I are busy eating our volcano hot Scooby Snacks.

(MUNCHING LOUDLY) Hot, hot, hot, hot!

(BOTH WHIMPERING)

(BOTH PANTING)

(LAUGHING)

Uh, then never mind.

-(SHAGGY GULPS) -SCOOBY: Hmm.

(LAUGHS) Awesome.

That's odd. The robot described isn't like anything I've ever heard of before.

SHAGGY: You mean because it wears glasses and suspenders,

has glowing red eyes, and can run really, really fast?

Yes, and would you please stop reading over my shoulder?

He didn't! It's right behind us!

(YELLING) I'm coming to get you! You can't escape me!

Argh!

(BATS SCREECHING)

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

VELMA: Jinkies! It's Urkel!

URKELBOT: Destroy! Destroy! Destroy!

Destroy! Destroy!

Hang on, gang!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

VELMA: The robot is gaining!

And we're headed toward a dead end.

Now we're losing Scooby Snacks.

Scooby, give me the barrel.

What? Uh-uh.

Would you give it to me for a Scooby Snack?

Okay!

-Hey! -This should trip him up.

URKELBOT: Destroy! Destroy!

I'm coming to get you! You can't escape me!

Rawr!

(BOTH GASPING)

(BRAKES SCREECH)

Who knew Scooby Snacks were so flammable?

Well, those snacks were soaked in extra hot sauce so it kinda makes sense.

Total sense. Hot, hot, hot!

Or it could be the gas lines they were working on.

(ALL GASPING)

Like, zoinks! That crazy robot's back.

Got any cheese?

(CHUCKLES AND SNORTS)

Don't worry. This will fry his circuits. (GRUNTS)

Thanks, but I already had a shower two weeks ago.

(EXCLAIMS)

Name's Steven Quincy Urkel, but you can call me Urkel.

Or Urkelino, the Urkmeister,

or the Urkel-doodle-do.

Oh, or my personal favorite, Hur-Urkel-es.

Get it? (LAUGHS AND SNORTS)

Like, Hercules but with my name in it.

Hur-Urkel-es.

Feel these pipes. (GROWLS)

Ow! Ooh! Ow!

Uh, nice to meet you, Mr. Urkel.

But why do you look like the robot that just attacked us?

Heh! Because I built it.

It's called the Urkelbot.

It's my greatest scientific achievement.

But Urkelbot went missing last week. I think it's been hacked.

Hey, you're those famous teenage mystery solvers.

I'm a huge fan.

Fred, you caught the beast of Swamp Town.

Daphne, you trapped the monster of Creepsburg.

Velma, your glasses correct your lazy eye

and your astigmatism.

-Shaggy, you wear a green shirt. -(YELLS)

And Scooby, you're a dog!

SCOOBY: Oh, he knows everything about us.

You're legends, and I'd love you to help me find my robot.

We usually work alone.

And you're... How do we put this nicely?

Like, annoying.

I'm not annoying. Come on. Please.

Uh, sorry, no.

-Please! Please! -No. No.

-Cheese please? -No.

-Please. -No!

Please!

Okay, fine!

We'll help you as long as you stop saying "please."

Great. Where do we start?

We look for clues.

Like this one.

URKEL: That's Urkelbot's hydraulic fluid.

Oh, I'm so excited to be able to help you guys solve this mystery.

Here, Fred, try out my electric magnifying glass.

-(CRACKLING) -(FRED STUTTERING)

-(GROANS) -Whoopsie!

That's my electrifying magnifying glass.

I'm not sure why I invented it.

The trail ends at the museum of future sciences.

Why would the Urkelbot come here?

Because I donated him to the museum, silly.

He lives here now.

Why didn't you say that earlier?

Eh. Didn't seem important.

Oh, well, let's see if he's inside.

Oh, no, you don't. Not you, Steve Urkel! You're banned.

You're always breaking things.

You can't ban me.

I've got a lifetime pass

for donating my robot to this museum.

(DIRECTOR GRUMBLES)

Ow! Ooh!

Did I do that?

I will get you banned from this museum!

I'll get a restraining order!

(SCOFFS) I'll beat it.

Just like I beat the last one with my brilliant defense.

-Please. -No.

-Pretty please. -No.

-Please. -No.

-Cheese please? -No.

Plee... [WHINING]

Fine! Case dismissed!

Fine, go in.

But the more you destroy, the more evidence I'll have

to finally get you banned for life.

And then, I will have my revenge on you, Steve Urkel!

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

You don't seem bothered that the museum director wants revenge.

Eh. Lots of people want revenge on me.

Like that security guard over there.

He re-wired my taser gun, so it hit me instead.

Now I can't feel my fingers on my left hand.

I will get my revenge!

And the museum's lunch lady.

Urkel blew up my entire kitchen! Twice!

And I will get my revenge!

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

What can I say? I'm popular.

And I'm impressed.

This is the first mystery we've ever been on

where we have three different suspects

and we don't even know what the actual mystery is yet.

You're welcome. Come on.

WOMAN: Urkel!

Dear, dear Urkel, welcome back.

I'm confused.

Shouldn't you hate Urkel like any normal person?

Hate Urkel? He keeps me employed.

How do I keep you... Oh!

Like that. (GIGGLES)

Thank you, Steven.

DAPHNE: Now where would Urkelbot go?

To the robot exhibit. Follow me.

(YELLING)

Did I do that?

Job security. Thanks, Steve.

Wow! These robots are impressive.

URKEL: Urkelbot!

Oh! Don't worry!

I'll have you fixed up in a jiffy.

But that whole leg will need to be replaced.

(SIZZLING)

Mister, got any cheese?

(LAUGHS) Oh, it's good to have you back, buddy.

TECHNOMANCER: You are not welcome here!

I am the Technomancer.

This is my domain!

I rule this museum and all its technology!

Attack!

Guys, follow me. I know every inch of this museum.

-Uh, except for this room. -Run!

Duck below the windows and keep quiet.

(WHIRRING)

(STIFLES SNEEZE)

Phew, close one. Thanks, guys.

(HORN BLARING)

Like, we're doomed!

No, we're not.

We'll drive this baby on outta here.

(ENGINE STARTING)

Hurry, Urkel.

They're almost here!

It's now or never, man!

All aboard!

(SQUEAKING)

Like, I guess you can't argue with results.

Yeah. Good...

This is not over!

I will get my revenge!

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Well, now we know who hacked the Urkelbot.

And that Technomancer must really want to keep us away from the museum

for a very good reason.

If so, then why did the Urkelbot rampage through the city

when it only brought more attention to the museum

and thus the Technomancer?

Well, gang, it certainly looks like we've got a real mystery on our hands.

We need to find out what this Technomancer is up to, and fast.

Oh, yes. The more you destroy,

the easier it'll be to have you banned forever from this place.

Sir, you need to shut down the robot exhibit and the whole museum.

Someone's taken control of the robots and wreaking havoc.

I don't care about any of that anymore.

As long as Urkel pays the ultimate price.

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

Well, he's just not very nice.

-And very suspicious. -Agreed.

Let's look for clues and find out what the Technomancer is up to.

Hey, check this out!

It looks like gravel but I think it's coal.

And I know just where there's coal in this museum.

This mine is the museum's first exhibit.

They transferred it here in its entirety from Southern Illinois.

(WHIMPERS) Creepy coal mine.

Velma, I made this remote for you.

If you lose your glasses again like you always do,

then just hit this button and voila, they'll return right to you.

Hey!

Go on, give it a try.

(GRUNTS)

Velma, what did you do?

Jeepers! Over here, guys.

It's for smelting metal.

Probably put here to make the rails for the exhibit's mine carts.

Though I doubt those rails are made of gold.

Gold in a coal mine?

Why in the world would gold be here?

Oh, oh, oh, oh! I think I know.

You see, there's a story.

A very strange and mysterious story.

The legend of the lost U-boat gold.

More than 70 years ago,

a submarine was secretly transporting gold

when it was captured by the Allied forces.

But mysteriously, that gold was nowhere to be found.

And that submarine is here in the museum.

It's been searched and searched,

but no gold has ever been discovered on board.

It's just silly legend.

Maybe so, but we never ignore a clue

no matter how silly. Come on.

URKEL: Cool sub, huh? What do you think?

I think it's making me hungry for a tastier kind of submarine.

Yeah, yeah. Yummy sub.

Mmm.

-Yo, Scoob, two points. -Not in my dog house.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

(GROANS)

Ouch.

Keep up the destruction.

We've searched the entire submarine and not one clue.

(SIGHS) The trail is drying up.

Like, no gold, no robot, no nothing.

Nothing.

At least we've kept Urkel from causing any more destruction.

You guys don't have to worry about me.

-I promise, no more accidents. -(ALARM BLARING)

(EXPLOSION)

Wow, Mama! You don't see that every day.

I gave you a chance to leave.

But now my robots will eliminate you once and for all!

Like, run!

VELMA: (GRUNTS) My glasses!

I can't see without my glasses.

Hurry up, Velma.

(BOTH WHIMPERING)

Zoinks!

Hey, my glasses.

(METAL CLANGING)

Oh, thanks, Urkel.

Your invention really worked.

Interesting.

This feels way too light to be metal.

It's plastic.

Looks like this mystery is really starting to come together.

(KISSING)

FRED: Excuse me.

-Can we have a moment? -You may,

but Urkel must wait in the hall.

This is my office with my own personal belongings

that I do not want destroyed.

Oh, don't worry, gang. I'll be fine... (YELLS)

This broke off the U-505

and we were wondering if parts of World War II subs were made of plastic.

No, it's all original parts.

That's what I thought!

This plastic looks almost as if it were made yesterday.

Did you ever replace any parts of the submarine with plastic?

No, no... Never.

What? Uh, why?

Hmm. You seem nervous.

Yeah. As if something we said, like, bothered you.

No. I'm nervous because I can see Urkel right outside my door.

You rang?

(CRASHING)

(OBJECTS CRASHING)

Colonel Pinkipuff!

I shall have my revenge, Urkel! Revenge!

All these clues are adding up.

But to be sure, we need to catch the Technomancer.

But, like, if we draw him out,

he'll have more scary robots!

I hate scary robots.

Fear not, for I have an idea for a secret weapon.

Oh, uh, that sounds, uh, great.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)

URKEL: When the secret weapon is finished,

it'll take down the Technomancer once and for all.

I just need a few more minutes.

We don't have a few more minutes,

because the Technomancer is already here!

(TECHNOMANCER LAUGHING)

I am the master of technology.

Whatever your secret weapon is,

it will be no match for my powers.

Robot minions, attack!

-(SCOOBY WHIMPERING) -Yikes!

(VELMA SCREAMING)

FRED: Whoa! Hold the phone.

VELMA: Urkel, hurry!

URKEL: Almost there.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

Done! I give you...

Urkelbot 2.0.

(ROBOTIC CHATTER)

Ha! That robot is your secret weapon?

It is as nerdy as you are!

(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)

The Urkelbot has been upgraded to now be ten times nerdier than I.

(CHUCKLES AND SNORTS)

Urkelbot, attack!

Hiya, fellow metalheads.

We're gonna be best friends.

Say, got any cheese?

BOTH: Does not compute.

Too much nerd. Too much nerd.

How about a few science jokes?

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity.

I can't put it down. (LAUGHS AND SNORTS)

ROBOTS: Does not compute.

Too much nerd. Too much nerd.

Hey, what does a subatomic duck say?

Quark. (LAUGHS AND SNORTS)

-ROBOTS: Does not compute. -This...

This can't be happening.

Did you know that the roundest knight at King Arthur's table was Sir Cumference

because he ate too much pie?

ROBOTS: Does not compute.

Too much nerd. Too much nerd.

Now, guys!

No. No!

Hey, he's getting away.

All part of the plan, Scooby.

While he was distracted,

-I attached a tracking device to him. -(DEVICE BEEPING)

-We gotta follow that truck. -On it, Fred.

Shaggy, Scooby, come with us.

Uh, no thank you. I think... (YELLS)

With Urkelbot's new mods, we can cause

the Technomancer's truck to slip and slide with an oil slick.

Once we're in front of him, I shall press the button like so.

(BEEPS)

FRED: Whoa! Hang on, gang!

(BRAKES SCREECHING)

(ALL YELLING)

Scooby, look what you did.

Did I do that?

No!

(ALL YELLING AND WHIMPERING)

(BEEPS)

(YELLS)

Oh, no, you don't!

Now let's see who this Technomancer really is.

ALL: The Janitor?

But... But why?

It's quite simple, really.

While cleaning the submarine, the janitor scratched the paint,

revealing the gold underneath.

The legend was real and the gold was still on the submarine,

so she hatched a plan to steal the gold.

She had easy access to the robots

and used them to carry the gold pieces of the submarine

into the mine to be smelted into gold bars.

Then she would hide the bars in her trash can,

so she could smuggle them into her truck.

She made plastic replicas of the ship's pieces,

so that no one would know what she was doing.

And I would've gotten away with it, too,

if it weren't for you meddling kids

and super-nerd, Steven Quincy Urkel.

That's my name. Don't wear it out.

Hey, wait. How come only my Urkelbot went crazy?

How come you can control it?

Because the Urkelbot is based on you.

Which means it was just as nutty and ridiculous as you are.

Well, I am one of a kind.

-DIRECTOR: Urkel! -Uh-oh.

I guess I'm banned for life.

No, no, not at all.

Since you helped find the gold which belongs to the museum,

we can now afford to build lots of new exhibits.

You did me a huge favor!

Phew. Well, that's a relief.

(SHIP CREAKING)

(CAR ALARM BLARING)

URKEL: I guess I'm banned for life.

(LAUGHING) That's okay. I don't care anymore.

Because the museum is rich! Rich!

(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

It was nice meeting you, Urkel.

Like, we consider you our good new nerd...

Uh, I mean friend.

Good, new friend.

(CHUCKLES) That's okay. I'm a nerd and proud.

And to show my appreciation to you guys,

I made Fred a remote control for the Mystery Machine.

Here, Fred. To summon the van to your location,

just press the button. Go ahead, press it.

Huh? Wow, that sounds really cool.

(PARTS CLATTERING)

Oh, wait. Sorry, Fred, my mistake.

This is a remote detonator.

(CHUCKLES AND SNORTS) Oh, well.

See you guys later.

(YELLING) Urkel!