Original subtitles

announcer: previously on nip/tuck...

you look good.

I found something that I know can help me.

what?

scientology.

I want to do an operation

on the baby. it may take

multiple surgeries. I can't

know that yet, but I want to

do it soon.

ok.

do it, sean.

like my new baby?

230 grand.

spoils of the soil, my friend.

450 horse.

top speed of 192 per hour.

multi points, fuel injection

and a color tv in the back

so I never miss an episode of Oprah

I picked up a new set of

wheels myself.

oh, yeah.

60 miles to the gallon.

and I can drive it in the

carpool lane. check this out.

I had it installed this

morning. pretty great, huh?

yeah, nervous?

third time's a charm.

we're hyper prepared this time.

no surprises.

which is why I want you to

have this for when julia's

water breaks.

you were there for matt and

annie's birth. it's a

mcnamara family tradition.

call my cell phone.

beepers are for plumbers

and drug dealers.

you never answer your phone

the line on my jacket's

ruined, sean.

look, christian, I need to

take care of julia during the

birth. alan b is adequate, but

I want a doctor there i

can trust. in case there are

any complications.

ok.

what's so funny, ladies?

linda. are you blushing?

woman: ooh...ooh..ooh, roll

over, I want to spank your ass.

yeah, I want every inch of

you, baby.

here we go, here we go,

here we go. oh, yeah.

touchdown, baby. touchdown.

touchdown, baby! yeah, baby!

give me more. give it to me.

christian, is that you?

I can go all night.

I'm a goddamn giant!

where the hell did you get this?

looks like you screwed over

one av nerd too many, hot pants.

this was posted on "you tube"

yesterday. it's gone viral in

the last 24 hours.

your fat ass has been

downloaded 6,000 times,

christian.

this is bullshit.

it's also illegal. you could

sue. this is an invasion of

privacy.

I don't give a shit about

that. leaked sex tapes are

gold, but look at the angle

she's got on tummy, I look like

jabba the hut.

christian: look at me!

woman: I'm looking at you!

christian: look at me...

the camera does add

15 pounds.

say I'm the hottest piece

of ass you ever had.

you're the hottest, sexiest

piece of ass I've ever had!

baby

ok, baby. ooh, yeah...

what?

I'm gonna go wash it off

holy shit.

is that my ass?

forom.com Presente

Trad: Transcript: Sync:

nip tuck 403

is this a stretch mark?

it's nothing.

you didn't get stretch marks

with matt or annie, why worry

about 'em now?

I wasn't 40 when I had them.

let me do it. I'm not gonna

let you have all the fun.

don't forget to be home

early. we have the interviews

with the nurses linda

recommended.

of course. those jobs will

have to wait.

this is my priority right now.

do you think it's too early

to be hiring a night nurse?

there's one thing I learned

from having 2 kids already,

it's that they don't give out

parenting medals for being up

all night.

his condition is gonna be

challenging, julia.

the only way we're gonna be

able to handle it is if we hit

the ground running.

say it.

this is ridiculous.

what's the difference?

you say it 10 times a day.

tell me what you don't like

about yourself.

I'd like you to do some lipo

on my midsection.

you're overreacting.

my imperfections, while

slight, have been broadcast for

the whole world to see, sean.

now I have a strong ego, but

when a whole city starts

looking at you as if you're

flawed, it's hard not to start

believing.

I went to a club last night.

I could feel everybody's eyes

looking at my...stomach.

christian, this is classic

body dysmorphic disorder.

look at yourself in the mirror.

you are a model of physical

perfection.

I know, but I can be better.

I know I can. would you tell

a millionaire to stop making

money?

do you say that hottest

piece of ass line every time

you have sex?

pretty much.

fine, if you don't do it for

me, then do it for the business.

plastic surgeons can't be fat.

there's an epidemic of obesity

in this country,

and it's our job to exemplify

a healthy alternative.

passing on the key lime pie

or that second bottle of merlot

might be a more reasonable way

to set an example.

diet?

yeah.

is that what we tell the

20 people a week who come in

here looking to get their

spare tire sucked up?

no, sean. we're in the quick

fix biz.

I went through the video a few

more times, and I've identified

these as my problem areas.

I saw the video, too.

I think it's your ass you should

be marking up.

just put me on the books.

how can you do this to me

right now?

do what?

I'm having a handicapped son

in a few days. how can you

stand in front of me and be

so superficial?

well, I'm sorry. I guess i

thought you were doing ok.

I mean, you see so on top of

everything.

if you need to talk, I'm here

for you.

no, I'm fine.

it's just, there's still a lot

to do.

I just think you should call

your trainer before you call

your doctor.

15, 16...you know, this

would be a lot easier if you

came to see me more often.

candy, I'm a plastic surgeon.

I don't have time to come down

here and sweat at the oldies

5 times a week.

models and actors.

nothing but time to work out

and jerk off looking at

themselves in the mirror.

actually, he's not an actor.

that's dr. mike emway.

he's a plastic surgeon, too.

come on let's go

come on. 19...

come on, up, up!

all right.

you staring at my dick?

no, I'm checking out

your ass.

dr. christian troy.

dr. mike emway.

mcnamara/troy, right?

you heard of us, huh?

yeah. you guys were front

page news for awhile.

and I saw your video.

seriously, though, it's an

honor to meet you. you guys

were the first place in town

to mix plastic surgery with

style. you paved the way,

my brother.

how things at your practice?

too big. just had to hire

two new associates. and we're

thinking of taking on a third

next month. I'll tell you,

christian, this town is filthy

with malakas who will

pay the big bucks

to look half as good as

we do.

let me ask you something.

how do you get that, uh,

delineation in the abs there?

I've been doing a thousand

crunches a week, and I can't

seem to get mine to pop like

that.

I don't eat.

seriously.

I have protein shakes for

breakfast and lunch, and a

light dinner. and no refined

sugars. and I'm in here

every day.

how do you find the time?

well, the hour you spend

watching sports center, I'm in

here. during your 45 minute

lunch at joe's stone crab,

I'm jogging down the strand.

gotta make the sacrifices.

sacrifices?

you're a goddamn physical

terrorist.

but I don't have to wait to

get into heaven to screw

40 virgins. look, thing is,

I'm 33. your basal metabolic

rate slows down 10 percent

every decade after 30.

now you look great for your age.

but it's next to impossible

for you to look like me.

not naturally. hey, it's nice

meeting you, huh?

why the hell haven't you

returned any of my calls?

I didn't know you

worked out here.

I've been trying to get

a hold of you for a week, matty.

I'm kind of busy.

doing what? handing out

leaflets at airports with

hare kimber?

you see, that's why I don't

want to talk to you, man.

you're an sp.

goddamn it, I'm not

superficial.

no. suppressive personality.

that's someone that keeps you

from being your true self.

realizing your full potential.

who told you that, the

self help fairy?

no. kimber.

she's got a lot more to her

than you think, man.

trust me, slick. I know

every inch of that woman.

she's nothing more than a

bleached blonde vampire, and you

need to stay the hell away

from her.

wait. matty, matty, matty, wait.

come on.

after everything you've been

through, you're vulnerable

right now. that's all. kimber

feeds off that. you can take

my word for it.

since when did you become

the moral authority?

all you care about is women,

how to abuse them, and maybe

flashy cars.

look, I just can't have you in

my life right now.

all right. how long is this

going to last?

until I decide.

I'm getting my nursing

degree at berry. that's why

I moved down from akron.

and have you worked with

handicapped children before?

I prefer handicapable.

the child doesn't think there's

anything wrong with him.

it's just the way life is.

I hope it's ok, but when

nurse linda told me of your

child's condition, I did some

research. I assume, as a

plastic surgeon, you'll be

performing the reconstructive

surgeries on him.

that's right.

well, I'm very comfortable

administering medications and

changing bandages. now poopy

diapers, that's another story.

well, monica, I'm going to

check your references, but

barring anything unforeseen,

I think that we'd love to have

you working with us.

do you guys know how often

the bus stops at the station on

the corner?

you don't have a car?

it's being shipped from

akron. I promise it'll be here

before I start work.

you know what, this is

silly. I mean, it's pouring out.

sean will drive you home.

yeah. of course.

are you sure? I won't melt.

oh, please. he never misses

a chance to take his new hybrid

baby for a spin.

excuse me.

the garage is back here.

so, how are you doing,

dr. mcnamara?

I don't mean to pry, it's just

that I've worked with a lot of

families with handicapable kids.

and it's always the father who

takes a back seat to everyone.

even the dog.

we don't have a dog, but

thanks. I'm fine.

I'm so excited to start

working down here. you know,

in the big city.

oh, miamI's great. we got

the beach, the everglades, lots

of young people. with your

personality, I'm sure you'll

make plenty of friends.

yeah. I went to south beach

when I first got here, I know

how far my personality will

get me. next to those perfect

bods in their dental floss

thongs.

don't say that. you're...

a very attractive girl.

for akron.

would you give me your honest

opinion on something?

as a surgeon?

what do you think about this

bump on my nose? I always

thought it sort of looked like

a permanent zit.

I wouldn't change a thing.

hey, you mind if I turn

this on?

sure.

here. turn that.

that's up and down.

oh, wow. cool.

oh, yes. I love this song.

this was our prom theme.

mine was stairway to

heaven. god.

makes me feel so old.

god, I miss that time.

nothing to do but chill and

have fun.

no responsibilities.

all that ends when you

have kids. feeling of freedom.

nobody demanding anything from

you. that's what youth is.

yeah. I guess I should try

to enjoy it more while I still

can.

what's a wonder wall?

it's somebody you can always

lean on. no matter what you

need. they're there for you.

I don't understand.

How does an electric car run out of gas ?

It's not a golf cart, Julia.

It's a hybrid.

Electric and gas. You still have to fill up the tank.

The electric engine's very sensitive, and...

once you run out of gas, it just shuts itself down.

I'm waiting for triple a.

did you at least drop Monica off first ?

It's just, I'm sure she's gonna get other offers, and I

don't want her not to like us just 'cause you made her stand out in the rain for an hour.

No, she's fine.

I'll see you later.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Be careful.

She buy it ?

Look, um...

Monica, I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry, dr. McNamara.

I have to stop doing this.

You've done it before ?

Just once.

With a father I worked with in Akron.

That was after I worked for them for, like, 2 years,

and his wife was a total bitch.

Not like your wife.

I've just been so lonely since I moved here.

And I know, it's silly,

but I miss him.

And you kind of remind me of him.

I don't think it would be appropriate for you to work for us, Monica.

I understand.

Screw you, Monica.

Every time you get close to something perfect, you have to ruin everything.

Randall, the dad from Akron,

he used to tell me I made love like an ugly girl.

Grateful for whatever I could get.

I need to go.

Can you take me home now ?

What's the point, right ?

Lipstick on a pig.

That's what Randall used to say.

Why don't you let me do something for you.

I thought we didn't have anything until 10 o'clock ?

I thought you were meeting with your trainer this morning.

She cancelled. Food poisoning.

Who's this ?

Family friend.

Deviated septum.

Poor girl could hardly breathe.

Nobody tells me anything. I thought we didn't have surgery until 10:00.

Just a deviated septum. Nothing I can't handle on my own.

Isn't that Monica Wilder ?

Who's Monica Wilder ?

She's the night nurse I referred to Sean and Julia.

I didn't know she had a deviated septum.

So you'll give your night nurse a nose job, but you won't give your partner some lunchtime lipo ?

She's not my night nurse. We didn't hire her.

She didn't really have enough experience.

You porked her.

This girl can't breathe during allergy season. Her needs are totally different from yours.

Mallet.

The only difference is that you deviated your dick into her, hypocrite.

She has a deviated septum.

Can I help ?

Sure, sure.

Thank you.

No problem.

I really appreciate all of the upgrades you've made around here.

Well, I really appreciate appreciative employees.

It's so nice to have a woman in charge.

Well, the boys need to know that we can do a lot more than answer phones and make a good cup of coffee.

Thank you.

Michelle ?

I just want you to know that I was in the same boat as you when I got my memo.

I was married, but I was living with a guy when I came out.

Came out ?

What are you talking about ?

Well, I saw you in the parking lot.

With your girlfriend.

She's just a friend.

She was fondling your breasts.

I just want you to know...

that if you ever...want to talk, that I'm here for you.

Paid over a thousand dollars for this thing, and these instructions don't make any sense !

I think someone has the new daddy nerves.

It's just with him coming and selling the business, it's a lot of change all at once.

Don't worry. I can handle it.

Well, can you handle a little more ?

I just got off the phone with Monica Wilder.

What did she say ?

She's passing on the job.

Why ?

She's moving back to Akron.

She said she found everyone in Miami too image conscious.

Hey, relax. We'll find someone else.

Are you ok ?

Honey, is there something you want to talk to me about ?

No, why ?

It's just that you're my husband, and I know that when you get upset, you know, you get effective.

You manage the stuff to manage your anxiety.

This baby is coming home to two people who love each other.

That's all he's gonna need.

Dr. Allan said we should start having sex.

It induces labor.

Maybe we should wait.

Till we find another nanny and the nursery's finished.

You're probably right.

I'll talk to Linda.

Have her suggest a few more candidates.

ok.

I'll hold this.

You need the screw.

I know, I'm trying to screw it in there.

2 gastric bypasses,

3 surgeries to remove excess skin,

and now a pannis removal.

Maybe he should've just laid off the guacamole.

It's not that easy, Liz.

With the amount of high calorie choices available to consumers these days,

and the enormous portions restaurants shove in your face.

Surgery is some people's only option.

Oh, standing proud with your fat-ternity brother, Christian ?

You know, you can't hide behind those slimming scrubs anymore, super chub.

I saw the tape.

I don't think it's appropriate to discuss your new jerk off material over surgery.

Oh, I didn't masturbate to your sex tape, Christian.

I am not a chubby chaser.

Can you even find your wheaty gooch under that massive gaunt of yours ?

Listen--

Michelle, will you stop contaminating this sterile environment.

This will only take a minute.

I won't tolerate sexual harassment in my office.

Finally.

Liz,

you're fired.

You can't fire Liz,Michelle.

This is my practice, Sean.

I won't stand for an employee feeling pressured sexually, and that includes me.

Since when is offering a kind ear to a co-worker considered sexual harassment ?

You turned an innocent encounter I had with an old friend into a lurid, sexual tryst.

I won't work in an environment where I have to worry that every contact I have with a woman encourages your sexual fantasies.

I am sorry if I offended you, and maybe I went too far, but I know what I saw.

You saw what you wanted to see.

What is that supposed to mean ?

It means that not everyone is gay, Liz.

You can sing whatever song you want to in front of them,

but I will not let your gay shame cost me my job.

You know, I thought having a woman run this place was gonna make a big difference,

but with you, it's all espresso machines and fresh carpeting, Michelle.

I am still working for a dick !

That's enough, Liz. Let us handle this, all right ?

I am not too proud to litigate.

Why'd you do that, Sean, I was hoping for a good, old fashioned cat fight.

This is serious, Christian.

Hey, I'm with Michelle. Fire the bitch. She's a man hater.

Michelle, you're taking a trivial misunderstanding and twisting it into a substantial situation.

How would you feel if i started going around spreading rumors about you and Christian being lovers ?

That's entirely different. Liz isn't inventing what she saw [********].

And you're saying you believe her.

Look, it doesn't matter what I believe. We all have lives outside of the office.

You're proving my point.

Once accusations start to fly, it doesn't matter if they're true or not.

Her lie is a threat to my authority and my marriage.

Michelle, you've earned the staff's respect. They love you.

But they love Liz more. If you fire her, you'll lose them.

She's on probation.

One more strike, and she's out.

Great. I've got to get to my training session.

Candy makes me do an extra couple of lunges for every minute I'm late.

This lashed on lipo is fantastic.

It's 21st century bulimia.

And it's 40 percent of my wednesday schedule.

People eat big macs all week, then come in here to have them sucked off their hips in time for the weekend.

Well, we can't all have your genes.

You don't want my genes, Christian.

In Sao Paolo, they call my family [*******] that's portuguese for the fattest.

Can't even visit there any more with the [****] pounds of pork they shovel into themselves.

It's like visiting a stable.

Lighten up, big buddy. [It's not a curse.]

Oh, but they are.

They're slowly murdering themselves.

Being fat doesn't handicap your brain, Christian.

It's a lifestyle choice.

You want to give me an 8-pack ?

Tilt that [canule] up 45 degrees. I want them to run deep.

I do have a Ferrari diablo.

Want to know why ?

Nowhere for the back seat driver to sit.

Oh-ho, you keep joking, junior.

10 years from now, you'll be lying on my table, I'll be sticking that thing into you.

Time is a bitch.

So how come your partner isn't doing this for you ?

I hear he's a hell of a surgeon.

Oh, we don't have time for any in-house freebies.

Besides, Sean's got a lot on his plate.

His wife's about to have a baby.

I understand if I make you uncomfortable.

Most couples have a hard time with a male nurse.

That was a joke.

I actually asked nurse Linda to refer a couple of male candidates.

Thought it would be nice to have a masculine influence around the house while I'm at work.

That's very forward thinking of you, dr. McNamara.

Most men get a little territorial about having another man in their home.

I see you have a degree in art restoration.

That's very unusual for a nurse.

Yeah, well, if I was half as good a painter as I am a nurse, that degree might be worth something.

I still paint. Just more like a hobby.

And have you worked with handicapable children before ?

Ooh...handicapable.

That's like calling me height challenged.

The worst thing you can do for your son is tiptoe around his condition.

I speak from personal experience.

Luckily, it looks like we're going to be able to reconstruct his hands with a series of surgeries.

Can I ask why you've decided to operate before you've even met him ?

We feel it's his best chance to live a normal life.

Ok, but, don't you think it's important to hold his hand before you change it ?

Well, thank you for coming by, Mr. Sawyer.

We'll let you know.

Do me a favor, Julia.

Native americans believe that if you look a child in its eyes the moment after its born,

you can see its soul.

When the hand your son to you, can you do that for me ?

Sorry about that, Julia. I had no idea.

It'll be all right. We'll find someone.

We better do it soon. My water just broke.

Christian, where are you ? I paged you 9 times.

The baby's breeched. We're going to have to do an emergency cesarean.

We're going to start, doctor.

Get here.

Is our baby ok ?

Absolutely.

Late term breeches occur about 4 percent of the time. He'll be out in 3 minutes.

10 blade.

Make sure you're on the pubic crease.

Otherwise, she'll never be able to wear a bikini again.

I've done a few of these before, doctor.

She's doing great.

almost.

He's out.

What do you think, honey ? Does he look like a Connor ?

He looks like you, dad.

What is she doing ?

Diaper check.

Let me go.

No, I'll go.

She'll get used to it.

Hi, Mr. Sawyer.

It's Julia McNamara calling.

Yes, I had the baby, and we're fine, thank you.

Uh look , I was wondering if you'd still be interested in working for us.

Does he have a name ?

Conor.

Jesus, Sean, he's beautiful

Look, I'm sorry, but it was just his birth.

Nobody remembers it.

Call me when the kid needs stitches or needs to learn how to tie a winsor knot.

He didn't need you, I did.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I'll make it up to you.

What's wrong with you ?

Lipo.

How are his hands ?

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