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1
00:00:07,505 --> 00:00:10,144
(Dog whimpering)
2
00:00:12,505 --> 00:00:16,293
Come on, Michael. Let's play ball ball.
3
00:00:16,385 --> 00:00:18,853
(Excited barking)
4
00:00:23,025 --> 00:00:24,663
(Alarm)
5
00:00:28,865 --> 00:00:30,821
Get it.
6
00:00:34,465 --> 00:00:37,218
Oh! Get off me!
7
00:00:41,105 --> 00:00:43,380
(Cathy) If you insist
on going over there...
8
00:00:44,425 --> 00:00:46,655
you might as well give her this.
9
00:00:46,745 --> 00:00:49,543
Make sure she knows
it's from both of us.
10
00:00:55,865 --> 00:00:57,821
Hello? Jill?
11
00:01:01,065 --> 00:01:02,817
Jill?
12
00:01:05,825 --> 00:01:08,783
- Hi, Don.
- Hi.
13
00:01:09,825 --> 00:01:14,819
- How's you?
- I'm fine, but we heard your alarm.
14
00:01:14,905 --> 00:01:17,055
Is there someone in the garden?
15
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:20,820
It's just the dog, Don, chasing blue tits.
16
00:01:20,905 --> 00:01:26,218
- Terry's funeral hit him very hard.
- I thought I saw a tall figure.
17
00:01:26,305 --> 00:01:30,184
He's got a surprising height
when he's on his back legs.
18
00:01:33,905 --> 00:01:37,215
Yeah. Can I get you a Scotch, Don?
19
00:01:37,305 --> 00:01:40,581
No, no... I'm meant to be cutting down.
20
00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:43,099
- Cheers.
- Is this Cath?
21
00:01:43,185 --> 00:01:44,413
Mm.
22
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,860
- (Knocking)
- What?
23
00:01:46,945 --> 00:01:52,065
Tits, Don. Confused by the glass.
Sad, really. They never learn.
24
00:02:24,505 --> 00:02:26,461
- Terry?
- Jill!
25
00:02:26,545 --> 00:02:29,457
Why do you keep locking me in here?
26
00:02:29,545 --> 00:02:33,743
Terry, stop asking questions.
You'll exhaust yourself.
27
00:02:33,825 --> 00:02:36,544
I'm freezing, Jill.
28
00:02:36,625 --> 00:02:39,617
Terry, you are reeking of sweat.
Come on.
29
00:02:39,705 --> 00:02:41,775
Let's get these off. There we are.
30
00:02:41,865 --> 00:02:44,459
Get them in the wash. Phew!
31
00:02:45,945 --> 00:02:50,541
- Drink up for Jill.
- This stuff's disgusting. Goes right...
32
00:02:53,305 --> 00:02:54,784
There.
33
00:02:55,785 --> 00:02:58,424
Let's get you comfortable.
34
00:03:00,145 --> 00:03:02,818
Jill, no!
35
00:03:02,905 --> 00:03:06,102
Terry, some men
paid good money for this.
36
00:03:08,225 --> 00:03:11,137
There we are.
37
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,693
Come on, Terry.
38
00:03:13,785 --> 00:03:16,015
We could renew our vows
in Hopperton.
39
00:03:16,105 --> 00:03:18,255
Yes. I wonder where my sausages are.
40
00:03:18,345 --> 00:03:22,577
I wonder how Jill took it.
Did you stay while she read the letter?
41
00:03:22,665 --> 00:03:25,179
Such a relief
to have said those things.
42
00:03:36,745 --> 00:03:41,978
It'll boost your immune system, Terry.
Dr Wivel said.
43
00:03:42,065 --> 00:03:45,853
What are you doing? Get off me!
44
00:03:51,985 --> 00:03:56,979
There are some hospital notes
at our house about a Terry Tyrell
45
00:03:57,065 --> 00:04:02,059
who was released quite some time ago
in recovery from bowel cancer.
46
00:04:05,385 --> 00:04:09,344
- What are you trying to say, Cath?
- It's a little odd because...
47
00:04:09,425 --> 00:04:12,701
Are you saying I held a funeral
for a man who isn't dead?
48
00:04:13,745 --> 00:04:17,977
- It just seems a little odd that...
- Are you saying he's here?
49
00:04:18,065 --> 00:04:20,181
It's odd that he hasn't...
50
00:04:20,265 --> 00:04:23,780
Are you saying he's lying upstairs,
sopping wet, starving to death
51
00:04:23,865 --> 00:04:26,584
in nothing but a nappy,
lolloping about on the bed?
52
00:04:26,665 --> 00:04:31,181
It just seems odd, Jill, that this Terry
hasn't been for any treatment
53
00:04:31,265 --> 00:04:35,383
and Don thought
he'd seen somebody around.
54
00:04:35,465 --> 00:04:40,095
We just thought
it would be a good idea to... check.
55
00:04:40,185 --> 00:04:42,540
Do you want to search my house?
56
00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:46,538
- Not search...
- You want a good old poke about?
57
00:04:49,345 --> 00:04:51,301
Go ahead.
58
00:04:52,465 --> 00:04:53,944
Go on.
59
00:04:54,025 --> 00:04:56,220
- Don.
- Go on.
60
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,615
- Cath, do you...
- Don.
61
00:05:01,705 --> 00:05:03,138
Right.
62
00:05:36,625 --> 00:05:39,776
Look, Jill, this is ridiculous. Sorry.
63
00:05:39,865 --> 00:05:43,335
Obviously you wouldn't have...
It's ridiculous.
64
00:05:48,625 --> 00:05:51,617
I hope you're proud of yourself, Cathy.
65
00:05:55,425 --> 00:05:57,893
I'm sorry I intruded.
66
00:05:57,985 --> 00:05:59,941
Thank you, Cathy!
67
00:06:01,225 --> 00:06:04,661
It's just a Terry Tyrell with cancer...
68
00:06:05,705 --> 00:06:07,343
Don...
69
00:06:08,505 --> 00:06:12,544
- Terry is just a very popular name.
- Of course.
70
00:06:12,625 --> 00:06:15,093
- Particularly when he was born.
- Yes.
71
00:06:15,185 --> 00:06:19,064
You got Terry Waite,
Terry Wogan... Terry and June.
72
00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:22,854
That woman off Play Away -
Brian Cant's friend.
73
00:06:22,945 --> 00:06:24,742
- Toni Arthur?
- Yeah.
74
00:06:24,825 --> 00:06:27,339
(Cathy) Don!
75
00:06:27,425 --> 00:06:30,064
- I'm double-jointed, Don.
- Really?
76
00:06:30,145 --> 00:06:32,818
- My hips go both ways.
- Don!
77
00:06:32,905 --> 00:06:39,094
Why don't I ring the hospital
and explain it's a mix up and, um...
78
00:06:39,185 --> 00:06:42,302
At least this other Terry's on the mend.
79
00:06:46,025 --> 00:06:49,495
This other Terry,
he will die though, won't he?
80
00:06:49,585 --> 00:06:53,373
Poor, poor man,
if he don't get his treatment?
81
00:06:53,465 --> 00:06:58,539
No. It's just belt and braces, really.
Basically, he's cured.
82
00:07:10,825 --> 00:07:13,419
(Glenn) We should get married
as soon as possible.
83
00:07:13,505 --> 00:07:16,702
We could buy a ring this afternoon.
84
00:07:16,785 --> 00:07:20,460
I'd rather stay in, Glenn.
I'm so loved up.
85
00:07:21,505 --> 00:07:24,303
I feel like we're Romeo and Juliet.
86
00:07:24,385 --> 00:07:26,819
I'm quite the giddy kipper myself.
87
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:30,136
We haven't left the house
in three and a half weeks.
88
00:07:30,225 --> 00:07:35,424
With Terry so freshly buried, I can't
go rubbing you in people's faces.
89
00:07:49,265 --> 00:07:53,383
No. I suppose that kissing
is still on the menu?
90
00:07:53,465 --> 00:07:55,899
Would you care for a sticky starter?
91
00:07:57,185 --> 00:08:02,942
Oh, it's so nice... I think
I'll just have a little shower first.
92
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:06,461
Right. I could come in with you.
I saw it in a film once.
93
00:08:06,545 --> 00:08:10,902
I could do a slow strip
and rub Vosene in your hair.
94
00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:15,778
Sounds lovely.
95
00:08:15,865 --> 00:08:18,220
Maybe on our wedding night.
96
00:08:18,305 --> 00:08:20,261
OK. OK.
97
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,495
- Do you mind if I just?
- No.
98
00:08:33,585 --> 00:08:38,101
- Just squeeze by you, Glenn.
- That's fine.
99
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,141
- There we are.
- Oh!
100
00:08:41,305 --> 00:08:43,102
- Ooh!
- Right.
101
00:08:43,185 --> 00:08:45,460
I'd better go and have that shower.
102
00:08:45,545 --> 00:08:49,379
Oh, I think I may
have left a little gift in there.
103
00:08:49,465 --> 00:08:51,774
Really? I love pressies.
104
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:55,460
Er, no. I mean,
I think I may have blocked the toilet.
105
00:08:55,545 --> 00:08:59,982
It can only cope with modest-sized
stools and after that lamb bhuna...
106
00:09:00,065 --> 00:09:04,104
- Was it very big?
- Give a weasel a run for its money.
107
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,336
Right. Well, er...
108
00:09:09,105 --> 00:09:11,061
I'll go and break its back.
109
00:09:18,665 --> 00:09:22,135
(Doorbell)
110
00:09:23,625 --> 00:09:27,413
- We won't be seeing him again.
- Jill?
111
00:09:30,825 --> 00:09:33,897
We have been so worried about you.
112
00:09:37,345 --> 00:09:39,301
Oh!
113
00:09:39,945 --> 00:09:41,014
Ooh!
114
00:09:42,585 --> 00:09:46,976
- And now this.
- I didn't know you knew each other.
115
00:09:47,065 --> 00:09:50,296
I didn't know you were planning
to wed... Glenn, is it?
116
00:09:50,385 --> 00:09:52,137
Glenn, yes.
117
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:56,935
When you rang, I had no idea you
meant Jill by the way you described her.
118
00:09:57,025 --> 00:10:00,620
Well,
we're aware that tongues may wag
119
00:10:00,705 --> 00:10:03,014
because of our hasty nuptials, Gordon,
120
00:10:03,105 --> 00:10:07,064
but Jill was desperate
to make our love official, as am I.
121
00:10:07,145 --> 00:10:10,023
Not just
because of the consummation!
122
00:10:12,265 --> 00:10:15,655
When you've found your soul mate,
Gordon...
123
00:10:17,945 --> 00:10:21,858
- Not to say Terry wasn't, but he wasn't.
- Mm.
124
00:10:21,945 --> 00:10:26,257
Nor was Rachel, my late wife.
We were teacher and pupil.
125
00:10:26,345 --> 00:10:29,576
But we're going to be a proper family,
aren't we?
126
00:10:29,665 --> 00:10:34,693
- Like the Brady Bunch.
- They should never have let them out.
127
00:10:35,865 --> 00:10:38,538
Have you been back to the house
since the funeral?
128
00:10:38,625 --> 00:10:42,174
No. I can't face it, Gordon.
129
00:11:04,305 --> 00:11:06,341
Have you heard about Cath and Don?
130
00:11:08,865 --> 00:11:13,416
(Slurring) I can't help it
if all these women want to know me.
131
00:11:15,905 --> 00:11:19,056
Darling... how about a?
132
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,340
- Hmm?
- Dr Cole?
133
00:11:22,345 --> 00:11:26,133
Hopperton won't be able
to accept you and your wife.
134
00:11:26,225 --> 00:11:30,218
I'm going to Hopperton on my own.
I want the marriage annulled.
135
00:11:30,305 --> 00:11:35,538
- We should talk about this.
- There's nothing to talk about.
136
00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:39,300
No. You're being very... I mean...
137
00:11:39,385 --> 00:11:41,853
I do love you. I mean...
138
00:11:43,985 --> 00:11:47,136
Unfortunately,
I don't love you any more, Don.
139
00:11:47,225 --> 00:11:49,181
In fact, you disgust me.
140
00:11:51,385 --> 00:11:55,697
Yeah. They're separating.
It's very sad.
141
00:11:56,785 --> 00:12:00,903
- Don's left Cath.
- No. Don was our local doctor, Glenn.
142
00:12:00,985 --> 00:12:02,941
- Right.
- More than a doctor, Gordon.
143
00:12:03,025 --> 00:12:05,539
Yes. He was a keen golfer.
144
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:08,901
You mustn't trust doctors, Gordon.
They lie.
145
00:12:08,985 --> 00:12:12,944
They tell you your condition
will get better in time...
146
00:12:23,545 --> 00:12:27,902
Look at me. Forgetting my manners.
Who wants a cup of tea? Gordon?
147
00:12:27,985 --> 00:12:29,623
- Glenn?
- Yes.
148
00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:32,777
Perhaps you'd have the decency
to make the vicar a cup of tea.
149
00:12:32,865 --> 00:12:34,821
Oh, right, yes.
150
00:12:39,705 --> 00:12:42,014
He's nice.
151
00:12:43,865 --> 00:12:45,821
- Gordon?
- Mm-hm?
152
00:12:48,105 --> 00:12:52,621
I think I know why Don left Cath.
It's my fault.
153
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,661
He was in love with me, Gordon.
154
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:58,339
I tried to fight him off, but...
155
00:13:00,225 --> 00:13:03,774
I'm just a really physical person.
156
00:13:07,345 --> 00:13:10,303
God knows
I tried to save their marriage.
157
00:13:14,145 --> 00:13:17,182
That's why I threw
that farewell coffee morning.
158
00:13:17,265 --> 00:13:21,019
(d Kylie Minogue:
Can't Get You Out Of My Head)
159
00:13:23,545 --> 00:13:27,174
d I just can't get you out of my head
160
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:30,940
d Boy, your loving's all I think about
161
00:13:31,025 --> 00:13:34,734
d I just can't get you out of my head
162
00:13:34,825 --> 00:13:39,023
d Boy, it's more
than I dare to think about
163
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:43,494
d La la-la, la la la-la-la
164
00:13:43,585 --> 00:13:50,104
d La la-la, la la la-la-la
d I just can't get you out of my head
165
00:13:50,185 --> 00:13:54,178
d Boy, your loving's all I think about
166
00:13:54,265 --> 00:13:57,655
d I just can't get you out of my head
167
00:13:57,745 --> 00:14:02,182
d Boy, it's more than I dare to think about
168
00:14:02,265 --> 00:14:06,304
d Every night
169
00:14:06,385 --> 00:14:08,216
d Every day... d
170
00:14:31,105 --> 00:14:32,538
Oh, Jill.
171
00:14:33,785 --> 00:14:36,982
Terry, for Christ's sakes!
172
00:14:37,065 --> 00:14:39,499
Dr Wivel warned me about this.
173
00:14:39,585 --> 00:14:42,702
He said this would happen
in the final stages.
174
00:14:42,785 --> 00:14:46,255
The tumour squeezes out the brain
like a cuckoo.
175
00:14:46,345 --> 00:14:48,336
Have you seen yourself?
176
00:14:49,465 --> 00:14:52,298
- Hm?
- Dear Christ.
177
00:14:57,905 --> 00:14:59,657
Oh...
178
00:15:00,945 --> 00:15:02,936
(Mumbles)
179
00:15:03,025 --> 00:15:04,777
- Terry.
- Oh.
180
00:15:04,865 --> 00:15:08,858
- Terry.
- (Mumbles)
181
00:15:15,105 --> 00:15:17,665
Get into bed. Back you go.
182
00:15:17,745 --> 00:15:19,736
I'm just going to strap you in, OK?
183
00:15:19,825 --> 00:15:22,339
- Why are you strapping me in?
- Dr Wivel says.
184
00:15:22,425 --> 00:15:24,302
(Doorbell)
185
00:15:32,305 --> 00:15:34,261
Oh, Jill!
186
00:15:34,345 --> 00:15:37,303
I'm sorry... I'm sorry...
187
00:15:37,385 --> 00:15:38,579
Believe me!
188
00:15:38,665 --> 00:15:42,055
- What? Linda, what? Who?
- Terry.
189
00:15:42,145 --> 00:15:45,421
He's all demi, Jill. Tall demi and a bra.
190
00:15:45,505 --> 00:15:50,215
- I think he wants me to tell you.
- Tell me what, Linda?
191
00:15:51,265 --> 00:15:52,664
Oh, Jill...
192
00:15:54,865 --> 00:15:58,619
Remember when you and Terry
were going to Phantom On Ice?
193
00:15:58,705 --> 00:15:59,660
Yes.
194
00:15:59,745 --> 00:16:02,339
But you went alone in case
you met Michael Crawford?
195
00:16:02,425 --> 00:16:03,414
Yes, and I did.
196
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,461
And I set the salon on fire.
197
00:16:05,545 --> 00:16:07,740
- Yes.
- And Terry put it out.
198
00:16:07,825 --> 00:16:12,057
He bought me a curry for the shock,
then we had a pizza in the park.
199
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:14,818
I had his. And then I got
a Chinese for the bus.
200
00:16:14,905 --> 00:16:16,702
Is this going to take long?
201
00:16:16,785 --> 00:16:20,300
Then I come back here
and I was sobbing with tummy ache,
202
00:16:20,385 --> 00:16:22,103
so he pulled me to his chest
203
00:16:22,185 --> 00:16:26,417
and I could hear his heart
thumping like a drum.
204
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:33,542
And I told him he was lovely...
and he told me I was lovely too.
205
00:16:36,185 --> 00:16:40,701
- And then we done it.
- Where?
206
00:16:40,785 --> 00:16:46,303
In the front. I offered him both, but
he said he was happy with the front.
207
00:16:47,505 --> 00:16:49,655
Dennis only likes it in the back.
208
00:16:49,745 --> 00:16:52,305
Where in my house?
209
00:16:54,225 --> 00:16:57,900
In your bed... and on the stairs.
210
00:17:00,425 --> 00:17:02,416
And in the bed again.
211
00:17:04,505 --> 00:17:06,973
And in the cupboard
where the hoover is.
212
00:17:09,105 --> 00:17:11,494
I'm sorry, Jill. I'm so sorry.
213
00:17:12,545 --> 00:17:14,979
(d La Bamba)
214
00:17:20,025 --> 00:17:21,777
d Oh, Lord, I want to sing your praises
215
00:17:21,865 --> 00:17:22,854
Hey-up.
216
00:17:22,945 --> 00:17:26,096
d I want to praise your name every day
217
00:17:27,185 --> 00:17:30,097
d Alleluia
218
00:17:30,185 --> 00:17:33,097
d Allelu
219
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:35,415
d Alleluia
220
00:17:36,465 --> 00:17:39,104
d Allelu d
221
00:17:41,305 --> 00:17:44,297
- Oh, Don.
- (Slurring) I've got to lie down.
222
00:17:44,385 --> 00:17:48,344
No, Don, no. Don! Don! No! No, Don!
223
00:17:48,425 --> 00:17:51,542
- The bedroom's a bit cluttered.
- I'll lie down here.
224
00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:56,779
No, please, Don.
You need a proper sit down.
225
00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:01,701
There we are.
Have a little drinky if you're thirsty.
226
00:18:01,785 --> 00:18:05,061
I'll just nip upstairs,
give my bedroom a tidy.
227
00:18:05,145 --> 00:18:07,136
I want to lie down.
228
00:18:16,905 --> 00:18:19,624
Jill? I want to lie down.
229
00:18:33,825 --> 00:18:36,578
d I was walking in the park
230
00:18:37,705 --> 00:18:39,741
d Dreaming of a spark
231
00:18:41,505 --> 00:18:44,258
d When I heard the sprinklers
whisper... d
232
00:18:44,345 --> 00:18:47,815
Oh, my God, Don.
You look gorgeous.
233
00:18:48,985 --> 00:18:52,102
d Then I heard the children singing
234
00:18:52,185 --> 00:18:55,700
d They were running
through the rainbows
235
00:18:55,785 --> 00:18:58,458
d They were singing a song for you
236
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:02,542
d Well, it seemed to be a song for you
237
00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:05,617
d The one
I wanted to write for you... d
238
00:19:05,705 --> 00:19:09,254
- Should I have told Cath?
- Oh, Jill.
239
00:19:11,105 --> 00:19:15,417
If he was very drunk, he might
not have even known he was doing it.
240
00:19:15,505 --> 00:19:17,575
- How many times?
- Five.
241
00:19:17,665 --> 00:19:20,259
He might have known
some of the times.
242
00:19:22,385 --> 00:19:24,819
Five?
243
00:19:25,905 --> 00:19:27,702
As for golf...
244
00:19:27,785 --> 00:19:29,741
Lovely cup of tea.
245
00:19:35,185 --> 00:19:37,540
Cappuccino would have been nice.
246
00:19:38,585 --> 00:19:40,337
Sorry.
247
00:19:53,865 --> 00:19:55,981
We were worried about you.
248
00:19:57,025 --> 00:19:59,061
Sue's been calling round.
249
00:19:59,145 --> 00:20:02,023
There's an awful pong
coming from your house.
250
00:20:03,585 --> 00:20:05,701
She even contacted the council.
251
00:20:06,745 --> 00:20:09,942
She was scared
they might find a dead body.
252
00:20:10,025 --> 00:20:12,744
- Gosh.
- What does she mean, Gordon?
253
00:20:13,785 --> 00:20:18,017
Well, we thought you might
actually have gone through with it.
254
00:20:18,105 --> 00:20:19,697
With what?
255
00:20:21,265 --> 00:20:23,381
Ended it all.
256
00:20:25,065 --> 00:20:27,533
Taken your own life.
257
00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:30,264
I know you have tried.
258
00:20:30,345 --> 00:20:32,301
Dear Jill.
259
00:20:32,385 --> 00:20:35,138
Darling,
we've got so much in common.
260
00:20:36,665 --> 00:20:39,782
Still, you're all right, eh?
261
00:20:42,865 --> 00:20:45,937
And the council
are coming round today, so...
262
00:20:50,545 --> 00:20:53,059
Glenn, could I have a word, please?
263
00:21:03,585 --> 00:21:06,543
- Is this about the cappuccino?
- Partly.
264
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:12,700
Glenn, I need to tell you something, OK?
265
00:21:12,785 --> 00:21:15,253
I don't want you to think
differently of me.
266
00:21:15,345 --> 00:21:17,381
- No.
- Promise.
267
00:21:18,425 --> 00:21:20,541
Promise.
268
00:21:21,585 --> 00:21:23,974
I killed Terry.
269
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:50,141
So it was a mercy killing.
270
00:21:50,225 --> 00:21:54,377
He was trying to pull me to him
and the cushion got in the way.
271
00:22:02,025 --> 00:22:05,540
I knew we could never be together
while Terry stood between us.
272
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,980
The least you can do is take the blame.
273
00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:11,853
I can't live like this.
It's an emotional roller coaster.
274
00:22:16,625 --> 00:22:18,581
The vicar can't leave here.
275
00:22:18,665 --> 00:22:20,940
Does he need a lift?
276
00:22:21,025 --> 00:22:23,744
I'm asking you to kill him, Glenn.
277
00:22:23,825 --> 00:22:28,137
He's the only person alive
who knows I'm here, apart from you.
278
00:22:28,225 --> 00:22:31,979
Jill, you're asking me
to slay a man of the cloth?
279
00:22:32,065 --> 00:22:36,217
Exactly. He'd be a lot happier up there
than he would be down here.
280
00:22:36,305 --> 00:22:40,856
It's what he'd want, deep down.
The poor man can't commit suicide.
281
00:22:41,905 --> 00:22:43,861
Do you want us to be equals?
282
00:22:43,945 --> 00:22:45,697
Of course I do.
283
00:22:45,785 --> 00:22:49,380
How can we have a mature,
balanced relationship
284
00:22:49,465 --> 00:22:51,899
if I've killed and you haven't?
285
00:22:51,985 --> 00:22:55,773
Oh, Jill. I wouldn't know
where to begin to kill a vicar.
286
00:22:55,865 --> 00:23:01,383
Well... I've popped a little bit of poison
into this Angel Delight.
287
00:23:04,305 --> 00:23:07,581
All you've got to do is make him eat it.
288
00:23:09,585 --> 00:23:15,023
- Everything all right?
- Fancy some Angel Delight?
289
00:23:15,105 --> 00:23:20,020
I'm not really a fan of Angel Delight.
I'm lactose intolerant. I get gassy.
290
00:23:20,105 --> 00:23:22,141
It is my birthday, Gordon.
291
00:23:22,225 --> 00:23:23,658
Oh.
292
00:23:25,065 --> 00:23:27,784
- Happy birthday.
- 27.
293
00:23:31,865 --> 00:23:35,380
No, I'm not really a fan.
I can take it or leave it.
294
00:23:35,465 --> 00:23:37,535
I'd rather you didn't leave it, Gordon.
295
00:23:44,985 --> 00:23:47,260
Are we all having some?
296
00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:51,582
One for Glenn. Spoon for Glenn.
297
00:23:55,545 --> 00:23:58,503
d Happy birthday to Jill
298
00:23:58,585 --> 00:24:01,224
- d Happy birthday to Jill d
- Take it, Gordon!
299
00:24:01,305 --> 00:24:05,776
d Happy birthday, dear Jill
300
00:24:05,865 --> 00:24:09,619
d Happy birthday to Jill... d
301
00:24:09,705 --> 00:24:11,775
d For she's a jolly good fellow
302
00:24:11,865 --> 00:24:13,821
(Both) d For she's a jolly good fellow
303
00:24:13,905 --> 00:24:16,373
- d For she's a jolly good fellow... d
- Eat up.
304
00:24:16,465 --> 00:24:18,774
d And so say all of us
305
00:24:18,865 --> 00:24:22,619
d Do the hokey-cokey
306
00:24:22,705 --> 00:24:25,503
d Do the hokey-cokey... d
307
00:24:25,585 --> 00:24:28,019
- Erm...
- That nice, Gordon?
308
00:24:30,225 --> 00:24:32,295
What flavour is this, Jill?
309
00:24:34,305 --> 00:24:36,739
It's a mixture, Gordon.
310
00:24:36,825 --> 00:24:40,943
Banana, chocolate and butterscotch.
311
00:24:41,025 --> 00:24:43,175
It's nana-choco-scotch!
312
00:24:45,825 --> 00:24:47,781
(Mutters)
313
00:24:54,225 --> 00:24:56,181
(Retches)
314
00:24:57,625 --> 00:25:01,698
- Oh, my God, Jill!
- It's all right, Glenn.
315
00:25:01,785 --> 00:25:04,345
It's all right. I love you.
316
00:25:04,425 --> 00:25:07,781
Don't feel guilty, Glenn.
You had to do it, OK?
317
00:25:07,865 --> 00:25:11,904
- I love you.
- I need you to do one more little thing.
318
00:25:11,985 --> 00:25:14,545
- Oh, Jill, please.
- Then we can have sex.
319
00:25:15,945 --> 00:25:18,140
Intercourse before marriage?
320
00:25:18,225 --> 00:25:21,661
Would you mind
just phoning up and confessing?
321
00:25:21,745 --> 00:25:25,454
- Just so our conscience is clear.
- To slaying the vicar?
322
00:25:31,025 --> 00:25:33,095
Won't I go to prison?
323
00:25:35,025 --> 00:25:38,176
Hello? Um... Police, please.
324
00:25:38,265 --> 00:25:40,574
Yes. Hello?
325
00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:43,498
My name's... my name's Glenn Bulb.
326
00:25:43,585 --> 00:25:46,145
I have to tell you I've killed a vicar.
327
00:25:46,225 --> 00:25:48,102
- Gordon Fox.
- Sorry?
328
00:25:48,185 --> 00:25:51,461
- Gordon Fox.
- Gordon Fox. Yes.
329
00:25:51,545 --> 00:25:54,343
- Yes, I have. Sorry. Just a moment.
- Glenn.
330
00:25:54,425 --> 00:25:57,656
Would you just say Terry as well?
Terry Tyrell.
331
00:25:57,745 --> 00:26:01,977
Terry Tyrell. Right.
And Terry Tyrell. Bye.
332
00:26:04,025 --> 00:26:05,981
- I love you, Glenn.
- I love you.
333
00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:09,660
- I want you so badly.
- Can we have the intercourse now?
334
00:26:09,745 --> 00:26:13,499
Oh, Glenn. Oh, Glenn...
335
00:26:13,585 --> 00:26:16,816
Oh, Glenn. I want you so badly.
336
00:26:16,905 --> 00:26:18,861
Oh, Glenn.
337
00:26:21,545 --> 00:26:25,777
Oh, Glenn. What kind of life
is it going to be if you go to prison?
338
00:26:25,865 --> 00:26:27,981
- I don't know.
- It's no life, is it?
339
00:26:28,065 --> 00:26:31,819
There's only one real way out of this.
We go together.
340
00:26:31,905 --> 00:26:34,419
- To prison?
- To death.
341
00:26:34,505 --> 00:26:37,736
Like Romeo and Juliet, Glenn.
342
00:26:37,825 --> 00:26:41,340
- We'll be together for ever, darling.
- I don't want to die.
343
00:26:41,425 --> 00:26:45,418
Oh, Glenn. Rachel will be waiting
for you, your mum and dad...
344
00:26:45,505 --> 00:26:47,700
- (Groans)
- Gordon.
345
00:26:47,785 --> 00:26:52,222
Come on, Glenn.
Let's eat up like in the ice-cream adverts.
346
00:26:52,305 --> 00:26:54,978
- I can feed you from behind.
- Oh, Jill...
347
00:26:55,065 --> 00:26:58,944
Yeah?
Then we can have the intercourse.
348
00:26:59,025 --> 00:27:01,061
- You promise?
- Yeah.
349
00:27:01,145 --> 00:27:03,784
- There's a good boy.
- Jill, I love you.
350
00:27:03,865 --> 00:27:05,901
I love you, Glenn.
351
00:27:05,985 --> 00:27:08,055
- Oh, yes.
- I'm so happy.
352
00:27:08,145 --> 00:27:11,057
There. Is that nice, Glenn?
353
00:27:11,145 --> 00:27:15,024
There's a good boy. Oh, lovely.
354
00:27:17,705 --> 00:27:20,265
Your turn now, Jill. Your turn.
355
00:27:22,225 --> 00:27:24,739
I'm not really hungry, Glenn.
356
00:27:43,545 --> 00:27:45,820
(Dials number)
357
00:27:49,145 --> 00:27:52,296
Hello, Don? It's Jill.
358
00:28:21,945 --> 00:28:25,096
(Terry screams) No!
359
00:28:25,146 --> 00:28:29,696
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