Original subtitles

[ Up-tempo pop music playing]

[ Man singing indistinctly]

[ Music stops]

That was Wham!, Dan.

Hey. Wham, Dan, thank you, ma'am!

Boom! [ Laughs ]

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you? Mardy face.

Do you want some bacon?

It's 8:30! On a Saturday!

I know!

8:30 on a Saturday morning,

and I haven't got a hangover!

[ Giggles ]

Things sure have changed here on Walton's Mountain.

Oh, for you, maybe.

Some of us have kept it traditional.

Yeah, so I see.

Drinking on your own, were we?

Bit tragic, isn't it?

How do you know I was on my own?

Might have had Little Mix 'round for all you'd have known.

What time did you get back, anyway?

11:00.

But Little Mix must have gone by then,

because I found you fast asleep on the sofa

with half a cheese toastie in your lap.

Who in their right mind works till 11:00 at night?

Somebody who, for the first time in their lives,

is actually enjoying their job.

Now, do you want some bacon or not?

Yes!

[ Music resumes]

[ Groans ]

What's this?

Oh! Oh, hang on.

I-I know this one. Don't tell me.

It's a razor. [ Laughs ]

It's myrazor.

And now you've clogged it up

with all your silly stubbly face hair.

I didn't have mine with me, did I?

I'm in the office this morning.

I've got to look professional.

There's only you and Lisa in there!

Yeah, and I bet she doesn't turn up with a full-on mustache.

You know I'm getting

my portfolder pictures done this morning.

What am I supposed to do about my legs?

I don't know. You could always...

What have your legs got to do with anything?

Why are they taking pictures of your legs?

I thought this was all on the level?

You're not the only one worried about looking professional.

-I wanted to wear a skirt. -So wear one, then.

You never know.

You might get you a job body-doubling for a wookiee.

[ Laughs ]

Don't say words like that in front of Josh.

It's the 20th century.

We don't say things like that anymore.

No, Denise, a wookiee is a...

Right. Right, sorry.

I suppose I should

leave the odd few bits here, you know, in your bathroom.

You know, for when I stay over.

Yeah. I suppose you should.

[ Whispering ] Yeah!

DAN: But it's a Saturday!

Do not tell me it's a Saturday again.

You've told me eight times already that it's a Saturday.

It's not like you've never worked weekends, is it?

Don't you point bacon at me.

It's just whilst we get up and running proper.

That's all.

Then it's back to nine-till-five.

[ Grunts ]

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello?

Hiya, Dad.

All right, Bazza?

Yeah. Yeah, course.

What you doing?

I'm calling him back.

It's expensive calling from Spain.

Yeah, I know!

It's expensive toSpain an' all!

Oh, come on. We're better off than them.

They're only on a pension.

Oh, yeah, I bet they're barely making ends meet over there

in that rent-free Spanish villa.

Oh, you're in a right bloody mood this morning, you are!

Where is he?

[ Gasps ]

Hiya, Mum!

Yeah.

I was just on with Dad. Is he...

Ohh. Oh.

Right.

He's gone for a number two.

Yeah. Ohh.

Oh, yeah, we're fine. Never better.

[ Laughs ] Yeah.

Yeah.

Morning, Dan. You all right?

Never better. Apparently.

[ Muttering ]

-What do you think? -They're good, them.

Should send them in to "Blue Peter."

You might get a badge.

I'm picking colors.

For what? Lining your coffin?

Don't be stupid. Having a Viking burial, me.

These are potential color schemes for the wedding.

Potential color schemes?

CHARLIE: It's all in here.

Oh, God. "Doilys -- Paper or Fabric?"

The eternal question.

What's happened to you?

Color schemes? Bridal magazines?

Exactly who's gonna be carrying who over the threshold here?

Rate you're going, you might as well just stick a ribbon

in your hair and be done with it.

Here! You can say what you want about me, but I'm a man's man.

Always have been, always will be.

Now, Autumn Nights or Summer Meadow?

AMBER: Everything all right?

More than all right.

I miss you.

Don't you move.

I've got 10,000 reasons for you to wait right there.

[ Cellphone rings ]

It's Gerry. I better go.

Yeah.

I'm glad you're happy.

Course. You know where I am.

[ Gunfire and indistinct shouting]

[ Knock on door ]

Bianc-a!

-What-a? -I'm doing a campaign!

I tell you what.

When you start washing and ironing

your own clothes for once,

I'll stop interfering in your campaign.

Last computer game I played was Ms. Pac-Man.

I used to really like her. She had a little bow.

GARY: Nothing. Just Bianca.

Who are you talking to?

Ella. We're online. Co-op.

Which one's Ella?

The big black guy there.

Hello, Ella!

Did she hear me?

Yes, she heard you. She said hello.

All right, grumpy Joe. No need to snap.

That man just blew up.

Yeah. It's cool, isn't it?

Blowing people up is never cool, Gary.

Ms. Pac-Man never used to blow people up.

She just used to eat fruit.

[ Indistinct talking on TV]

-Guess what. -What?

What's this?

Beer.

Since I'm home all weekend

whilst you're off playing "Dragons' Den,"

I thought I better stock up.

Why don't you go and see Greg?

He's off in Scotland doing something or other.

Not back till tonight.

Go 'round to your mum and dad's.

I have got other mates, you know?

Yeah. Course you have.

Anyway, guess what.

Me dad's after coming home for a few days!

[ Clicks tongue ]

-Hey! -And guess what.

-That wasn't the what? -Of course that wasn't the what.

Why would that be the what? I'm going out to fetch him!

What?!

Yes, you see? That's the what!

It just hit me.

I thought, well, I'll go out for a couple of days,

top up me tan, see me Mum, and then bring him back with me.

Three birds, one stone.

And I've checked the flights, and I can go tomorrow!

Tomorrow?!

You don't mind, do you?

L-Let me get this straight.

I don't see you evenings and weekends

because of this big, new, exciting job

you can't tear yourself away from for five minutes.

Next thing, up pops a trip to Spain,

and you're on the next flight out!

Well, you can come too if you want.

Oh! Can I?! That's very good of you!

Actually, if you're gonna be like that, no, you can't.

I can't anyway. And you know I can't.

I've got to see to Mrs. Hadden's flapper valve

first thing Monday morning.

-Lucky Mrs. Hadden. -[ Exhales sharply ]

Are you worried about taking care of yourself?

Hey. I can take care of meself quite well, thank you very much.

No, I was just gonna say

why don't you go 'round to Pauline's for your scran?

That's if, uh, all your other mates are busy.

Morning, Dan.

DAN: All right, Bianca?

Oh, um, Lisa's not in. She's gone to the office.

-On a Saturday? -On a Saturday.

Oh.

I was gonna bake some cakes for the shelter.

I thought she might like to give me a hand.

I would ask Gary, but he's busy exploding people.

I-I'm sure she'll be gutted she's missed out.

Tanya!

I don't suppose you'd fancy helping me

bake some cakes for the shelter, do you?

-What's in it for me? -[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ] I'm only kidding.

I'd love to help, but it's just, well,

my baking know-how is on a par

with my knowledge of particle physics.

[ Chuckles ] She's saying she can't bake, Bianca.

Oh! [ Laughs ]

Particle physics. [ Laughs ]

Never mind. I'll give Lisa a try tomorrow.

Ah, that might be a bit tricky.

She's off away for a few days tomorrow.

BIANCA: Oh?

DAN: She's going to see her mum and dad.

-In Spain? -Yeah.

-And you're not going? -No.

Will you be all right?

It'll be a struggle at first, but hopefully I'll get through.

What will you eat?

[ Laughs ]

Sorry.

Who'd be a man, eh?

Minute your missus leaves,

everyone assumes you're utterly helpless.

No, but they are.

I went into hospital a few years back

for that thing with my you-know, remember?

All Jim could cook was scrambled eggs.

I was in a week.

That's all he ate, breakfast, lunch, dinner.

He lost nearly two stone.

All because of your you-know.

Exactly.

I'll be fine, Bianca.

I don't even like scrambled eggs.

[ Both chuckle ]

Bless her.

She's one in a million, isn't she, Bianca, hmm?

Always fretting over someone.

I didn't dare tell her I was on my own too.

She'd have offered to do us both

a-a candlelit dinner or something.

-Bradley's...? -Golfing weekend.

Right.

But you're not really on your own, are you?

-Still got, Ella. -You're joking, aren't you?

I shipped her off to her cousin's the minute he left.

[ Laughs ] Bit of me time. Can't wait.

-I'm sure you're the same. -Well...

It's so rare to get a chance to do anything you want, isn't it?

I'll see you later, Dan.

[ Vehicle door closes, engine starts ]

[ Engine stalls ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Up-tempo pop music plays ]

[ Camera shutter clicking ]

Is that what I look like from the side?

I've never seen myself from the side before.

This must be what I look like when I'm sat on the bus.

It's £100 exactly, please.

Oh, I think the agency is paying.

Sorry?

First Rate, who booked me in. They're a model agency.

-I'm a model. -Oh, are you, now?

Okay, well, your agency does not pay for the shots,

I'm afraid.

Had the same problem with Elle Macpherson last week.

-Did you? -Oh, yeah.

Okay, then.

What's she like? Elle Macpherson.

-Shorter than you'd think. -Oh.

-[ Door closes ] -PAULINE: No. Absolutely not.

Oh! You arein.

Yes. I often am.

Good. Well, you can talk some sense into your father, then.

He's only on about getting the band back together

to play at the wedding.

What? Your band?

They got wheelchair ramps at this venue, have they?

Not just my band. All the bands we used to go on the road with.

Parson's Nose. Rain Dogs.

Deep Purple.

You used to tour with Deep Purple?

Oh, yeah, yeah. They were good an' all.

Mind you, they had to change their name in the end

'cause it turned out there was already a band called that.

Imagine it, all the old gang back together again,

performing one last time.

Be like this generation's Woodstock.

This generation's Woodstock was Woodstock!

"Woodstock Two -- The Sequel."

"Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the pub."

-[ Laughs ] -Hey, you're not helping!

-Sorry, Mum. -I'll phone Stevie.

-[ Can top pops ] -Get you a glass for that?

No, ta. Where's Lisa?

-Work? -Yeah. Again.

And tomorrow she's only heading over to Spain for a few days.

-Without you? -Yeah.

What will you eat?

[ Microwave beeping ]

Engaged.

Like us.

Hey, Dan.

Autumn Nights or Summer Meadow?

Color schemes for the wedding.

Loony tunes here thinks we should have this one.

And which one do you want?

Any other bloody one.

Let Dan decide. That'll settle it.

Oh, no. I'm not getting in the middle of one of your arguments.

Settle it yourselves.

Maybe we should play pool for it like we used to, eh, Charlie?

-Pool. -[ Laughs ]

Remember, Dan?

We'd have a big bust-up,

then sort it all out over a game of "pool" upstairs.

-Oh, God. -While you watched "Bagpuss."

[ Laughs ]

Oh, yeah, you're both hilarious.

For your information, I knew what you were doing all along.

-No, you did not. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You were a right numb sod.

17 years old before you finally clicked.

We didn't have a pool table!

[ Laughter ]

[ Grunts ]

Um...

What are you two actually doing here?

Just passing.

Yeah? Well, pass off.

Oh! Charming!

What's that?

I just brought some things over, you know, like I said.

Won't have to borrow your shaver anymore.

How big's your razor?

Well, I just chucked a few odds and sods in. You know.

Spare clothes, shower gel -- men's shower gel.

That green minty stuff of yours makes my hair greasy.

Few towels, some CDs.

A toaster.

Are you moving in?

Would that be so bad?

Every night I go back to that bedsit.

No sooner have I closed the door

then all I can think about is coming to see you and Josh.

Then 10 minutes later I'm 'round here.

Every night for the past two weeks.

-Has it been two weeks? -12 days.

And it's working. Isn't it?

It's not like before, is it?

You can feel that too, can't you?

You, me, our son.

It's right this time.

I-It's been nice.

That's got to be worth us having a proper go at it.

Be a family.

Oh.

Was that a "yes"?

Was that a "give it a try"?

That's a, "Yes. Give it a try."

You will not regret this, Denise.

This is how it should have always been.

And, hey, you'll be able to

pack in all that modeling stuff now I'm here.

What?

Well, you know, once the business takes off

I'll be earning more than enough for both of us,

so you won't have to.

I'm not doing it for the money.

I'm doing it because I like it and because it's mine.

Something I enjoy just for myself.

I know, but modeling?

You know, it's all a bit... isn't it?

I got me portfolder done today. I was really pleased with them.

Do they look...to you?!

Whoa, these look amazing.

Yeah?

Just amazing.

Did the agency pay for all of these, did it?

Of course they paid for them!

Do you think I'm some stupid flipping idiot or something?

-I never said that. -I know what you said.

You can move in, but you're on a prohibition period.

So if you want to keep going on about my modeling,

you can keep up the rent on your bedsit too.

Oh, and the reason my minty green stuff

made your hair greasy

is because it's aromatic foot lotion.

Now who's the idiot?

-[ Indistinct talking] -[ Door opens, closes ]

LISA: [ Sighs ] I'm so sorry.

But with me going away, I had to burn the oil for a bit,

make sure we were up to speed with everything.

You couldn't even knock off early

the last night before you leave?

It's three days, Dan.

I'm not joining the foreign legion.

Anyway [Sighs] I'm here now.

Though I could do with an early night.

Now, thatsounds like a good idea.

Yeah. I'm exhausted.

And I've got to be up early.

Are you stopping down for a bit?

Yeah.

[ Grunts ]

Three days?

It's just the bare essentials.

What sort of fridge magnet would you like?

Oh, I don't know, um...

A flamenco dancer or a donkey.

You know, something classy.

You behave yourself.

What's that supposed to mean?

Are you gonna be all right?

I'll be fine.

Have fun. Love to Sue and Barry.

[ Smooches ]

I'll call you when I land.

[ Engine starts ]

-[ Gunfire] -Up there.

Up there!

Behind you.

Get in!

Morning.

Why don't you come to work with me later on?

You can do some glass collecting.

I'll give you some money.

I don't know how long this is gonna take.

I need ammo!

If I didn't know better, I'd say this was less about the game...

...and more about the person that you're playing it with.

-Bianca! -[ Giggles ]

Sorry about that.

What's this?

Getting broody an' all now, are you?

You needn't think we're having a pet.

I hate pets.

Get away! You used to love Fluffy.

Aww, Fluffy.

Fluffy was different.

Hardly anyone kept tarantulas back then.

My mother wouldn't set foot in the house

whole time you had him.

Yeah. Mm.

But we're not getting a pet now.

Hard enough time cleaning up after you.

Relax! I'm not after a pet.

I'm looking for somewhere that does doves.

Doves?

For the wedding.

Right. That's it.

You've had your chance. Now it's over.

From now on I'm arranging this wedding.

-All of it. -Y-You can't.

-I have to. -Have to?

Yeah.

Have to.

No.

And that's an end to it. I'm sorting it now.

And we're not having doves.

And we're not having bloody tarantulas either!

[ Sighs ]

JOSH: [ Laughing ]

[ Laughs ]

-[ Telephone rings ] -[ Gasps ]

Hello?

-DENISE: Hiya, Dan. -Oh, all right, Denise?

-Is Lisa there? -No, she's not here.

She's, um, gone over to Spain for a few days

to see her mum and dad.

Are you okay? What are you gonna eat?

-For fuck's... -Dan!

No, sorry, Denise, I didn't mean it.

It's just everyone keeps on at me like I can't cope, is all.

I'm not completely useless, you know?

-All right. -Look, I better clear the line.

She's meant to be ringing me when she gets there.

I'll get her to give you a bell, okay?

-Bye, then, Dan. -Cheers.

[ Both breathing heavily ]

[ Cellphone rings ]

It's Dan.

Now then, mate?

Greg. Please tell me you're thirsty.

Dog and Dart, 20 minutes?

You're a lifesaver.

I'm a lifesaver.

I know you are.

-Balls! -Roger!

What? I just -- I just said "balls."

Hello, Charlie. How goes the wedding prep?

Don't mention the "W" word. Boss has banned all talk on it.

Well, that sounds healthy.

Have you been talking about the wedding?

No.

Well, what have you been talking about, then?

Balls.

[ Muttering ]

Love's young dream.

All right, Dad?

-[ Muttering ] -Please yourself.

Mum.

Dan! Can I do you a sandwich?

No, I'm fine! Thanks.

Ah.

[ Grunts ] Good lad!

-I needed this. -Oh. Actually...

That's mine. Hello, Dan.

Sorry, Tanya. I didn't realize.

No, it's all right. Chill out. I've only had a sip.

-I can get another one. -No, no. Here it's fine.

[ Laughs ] I don't have germs, Dan.

What?

Technically, you've kissed now.

Grow up.

[ Announcer speaking indistinctly]

FERGUS: Hey.

-Denise. -I've got news!

You're not pregnant again?

No, Fergus, I'm not.

But nice to you'd be so happy about it if I was.

No, no, I-I would be. It's just that I'm trying to...

So, basically, if I was pregnant,

I'd have to wait till after the match, would I?

Or halftime.

Fine.

I won't bother telling you that was the agency on the phone.

Or that they've lined me up a big, new, exciting gig.

-[ TV turns off ] -What, a modeling gig?

Yeah! Tomorrow!

What is it, exactly?

Oh. Didn't ask.

-Denise. -What?

It could be anything!

You do think I'm stupid.

I don't think you're stupid.

Naive, maybe.

That is just a posh word for stupid!

You know, some boyfriends would actually be quite proud

to be going out with a professional model.

And if you can't be, maybe this whole moving-in thing

has been a bit preimmature!

[ Sighs ]

[ Announcer speaking indistinctly]

BIANCA: [ Laughs ]

Oh!

Dragged yourself away from your precious campaign, have you?

That offer to collect glasses still open?

Yeah. Are you okay?

Yeah. Fine.

Why don't you start over there?

GREG: Oh, come on. That's below the belt.

[ Laughter ]

Oh, yeah, laugh it up.

I could just as easy tell her

some stories about you, you know?

Oh, yes, please! Tell me some dirty Dan secrets.

Nah. 'Cause unlike him, I wouldn't do that to a mate.

-You mean you haven't got any. -Oh, haven't I?

Three words, Dan.

Birthday. Drunk. Pedal bin.

-Oh, you wouldn't dare. -Oh, tell me.

-And that's four words. -No, it's not.

Tell me! Whatever it is, I bet I can beat it.

DAN: Hey, I-I'll make you suffer.

[ Laughing ] I can't.

I swore I'd take that one to the grave.

Oh, whatever.

I'll get it out of him. I can be very persuasive.

I'll bet.

[ Giggling ]

So, what were you doing yesterday, then?

Nothing. Bit of business.

A bit of business? Very mysterious, Greg.

You're in the building trade, not the North West Mafia.

-How do you know? -[ Cellphone rings ]

DAN: Oh, well, who's that, then?

-Don Corleone? -[ Laughs ]

Well, I'd tell you...

-But I'd have to kill you. -I'd have to kill you.

-Exactly. -[ Laughs ]

See? This is fun, isn't it?

All right, Gary?

Ooh! Have you spoken to Ella?

It's just I tried calling her earlier,

and I couldn't get through.

Yeah. Was talking to her before.

Spent two days helping her get into an armored compound,

not knowing she was leading me to a trap.

Second I walked in -- boom.

She blew me up with a cluster bomb.

Yeah. She does that sort of thing.

Girls, eh?

[ Laughs ]

Come on, misery. Out with it.

Don't know what you're talking about.

Don't you? Face got any longer, it'd be in your pint.

Look, if it's bothering you that much,

then I'll let you have a color scheme.

But I'm picking it.

Brown and orange.

-Brown and orange? -What's wrong with that?

We'll look like Jaffa Cakes.

Yeah, and if you had your way, we'd look like

unicorns and ballerinas.

You're gonna turn this into nowt more

than a few mates and a knees-up, aren't you?

Maybe that's all I want.

Well, maybe I want more.

[ Billiard balls clacking ]

-Play you for it. -Eh?

The right to arrange the wedding.

We'll play pool for it.

-Pool? -Actual pool.

Not...

Although we could always nip out the back, and, uh...

No, maybe not. Actual pool it is.

Charlie, you haven't beaten me at pool --

either version -- for 30 years.

Nowt to worry about, then, have you?

Afraid I'm gonna have to fly.

-Seriously? -Yeah, you know...

[ Imitating Don Corleone ] Mafia business.

-DAN: [ Chuckles ] Yeah, right. -Catch you later.

-Nice seeing you again, Tanya. -Yes, and you.

See you, mate. [ Speaks indistinctly ]

Ask him about the time he got stuck

in a revolving door for two hours.

It was 20 minutes tops.

Looked like a piece of modern art.

TANYA: [ Laughs ]

They couldn't fix the motor. Had to call the fire brigade.

[ Laughs ]

Do you fancy another drink?

Uh, actually, I might head off too.

Why?

Me mum and dad.

Oh, do you think they might get the wrong idea

with me and you sat together here like this?

No!

Course not. No.

But me mum's got a Jack Daniels in one hand

and a potentially deadly weapon in the other.

We do not want to be here.

Why don't we go somewhere else?

Come on.

Uh, I don't know.

Oh, come on, Dan. One for the road.

We're off the leash, remember?

Besides, you still owe me a story about a pedal bin.

Live a little.

[ Laughs ]

Dirty tactics, is it?

With stakes this high, anything goes.

Does it, now?

Charlie!

Anything goes, you said.

We need a referee.

Roger?

-Hello? -You're adjudicating.

There's a lot riding on this.

Why? What are the stakes?

Our marriage.

Fair enough.

Cheaper than a counselor, I suppose.

-Oh. -What's wrong?

-I've left me phone. -Where? Back at the pub?

-No, at home. -That's all right, then.

No, Lisa was gonna ring us when she got there.

[ Gasps ]

If you don't answer the phone, she might call the police!

[ Both chuckle ]

Ooh, look.

This'll do.

You're reffing the game, not my morals.

-CHARLIE: You what? -PAULINE: Nothing.

Get on with it.

-Who's winning? -I haven't got a clue.

Never understood this game.

It's like snooker with numbers. Makes no sense.

Every now and then they look at me,

and I say, "Free shot," or, "Two off."

Seems to make them very happy.

Ah!

Free shot.

[ Laughs ]

There, you see?

[ Romantic piano music playing ]

Here we are.

[ Laughs ] I didn't want to keep going to the bar.

And technically we are celebrating.

-Are we? -Mm-hmm.

-Celebrating what? -A night off. [ Laughs ]

I bet you think I'm a proper sad case, don't you?

I just don't get to do things like this

very often, that's all --

just be Tanya,

not Tanya and.

Is there a difference?

[ Laughs ] Of course there is.

Tanya without the "and" won't end the night

in some blazing row with someone

over whatever stupid things she's said or done all evening.

Or will she?

Not with me.

Good!

Then consider yourself free to say

incredibly stupid things too.

Cheers.

Cheers.

[ Door closes ]

Where've you been?

I just popped back to the bedsit to get some stuff.

Where are they, Fergus?

-Where are what? -My photos. You've taken them.

I know you don't approve of my modeling,

but if you think stealing away my photographs

is gonna make any difference...

What's this?

Well, you could open it and find out.

[ Gasps ]

FERGUS: Couldn't have you taking your headshots around

in a tatty old envelope, could I?

So I thought I'd get a proper portfolio done for them.

It's called a portfolder.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I meant.

Denise, I couldn't be prouder that my girlfriend

is a professional model.

What man wouldn't be?

I just worry, that's all.

What's wrong with that?

Nothing.

Nothing's wrong with that.

Ohhhh!

[ Both laugh ]

You know I'll have to take that one out, though?

Oh, what, you're worried that Calvin Klein's gonna see it

and snap me up?

Yeah.

That plus I need to make room

for the one with me and the whip.

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ] Don't know why I'm telling you all of this.

See, that's what happens

when you've got no one to talk to about stuff.

It all just gets bottled up,

and then someone like you gets it all.

-I don't mind. -[ Laughs ] Please.

I bet you're just like me, aren't you?

Mm?

Everybody needs to unload every now and again.

So come on.

Come on, it's your turn. Get it off your chest.

One-night offer.

Perfect life, eh?

Does anybody have the perfect life?

Yeah. Yeah, I think they do.

I think I did once.

A long time ago and a nervous breakdown ago.

What, you're serious?

About the breakdown?

Yeah.

About the perfect life? Mm...

I don't know. Maybe. [ Laughs ]

It's only when you look back you realize, though, isn't it?

Oh, we used to fight all the time, me and Bradley,

when we first got together.

And we still do, but the fights are different now.

You know, there's something missing from them.

Does that make sense?

Actually, yeah.

You know, the worst ones, when I used to go thieving.

[ Laughs ]

It was part of the "breakdown."

Anyway, we fought then, all right.

We had great big, epic, nuclear rows that went on all night.

And the funny thing is, despite that,

I sort of liked it.

'Cause you only do that if you properly care, don't you?

I suppose you do.

And so I look back and I think,

yeah, we were perfect then.

[ Laughs ]

I'm bonkers, aren't I?

No.

No, you're not.

BIANCA: So is Pauline about to win?

-PAULINE: Yes! -CHARLIE: I'm afraid so, Bianca.

Charlie, I hope you're not a sore loser.

Oh, I'm a very sore loser, Bianca.

But I'm also a man of honor.

Ha.

Ha!

So if she wins,

the whole wedding is hers to arrange.

Is that what this is about?

Did you know that's what this is about?

I'm just trying to think. Um, no?

CHARLIE: It's all right, Bianca. Fair's fair.

I suppose the only reason I wanted to do it meself was,

well, it was sort of me last chance to really say sorry.

Oh, for fuck's sake!

We are not having fucking doves!

All right?!

-Yeah! -[ Cheers and applause ]

Yeah!

DAN: Well, I can't face a walk.

I shall get them to order us a taxi.

You can if you like. I'm going nowhere.

Yeah, I don't see why I can't treat myself

to a deluxe overnighter with a hot spa in the morning.

All courtesy of Bradley, of course.

Um, you said your thieving days were over.

[ Laughs ] But this isn't thieving.

It's not like I'm gonna get away with it.

Bradley always checks his bloody statements.

So, in a way, it's all right.

Maybe he should treat you too.

I reckon two rooms on his statement

might be a bit harder to explain.

Yeah. Two might.

You shouldn't say things like that.

Why?

Because I might take you seriously.

I do hope not, Dan.

Because I'm not done being stupid yet. Are you?

[ Up-tempo pop music plays ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

♪ The money's on the floor, girls down ♪

♪ I'm moving back ♪

Right.

MAN: Where's my money?!

I just want my pound, what was there!

♪ Well, we were lonesome ♪

♪ But, baby, there's no lonesome left in this ♪

[ Cellphone ringing ]

♪ I think lately ♪

♪ You've got the devil's arms around me, girl ♪

♪ Creep, creep ♪

♪ You know that I'm a creep for love ♪

♪ You know the way we started ♪

♪ Creep, creep ♪

♪ Say that I'm a creep for love ♪

♪ This isn't where we started ♪

♪ I call it overtime when I'm hanging on the middle ♪

♪ And it's overtime when I get into you ♪

♪ And it's overtime when I'm stuck up in the middle ♪

♪ And it's overtime ♪

♪ Overtime ♪