Original subtitles

(lively music)

(upbeat music)

- Come on, it's easy. - I don't know.

Pass, phone a friend, no deal, whatever.

- You're not taking this seriously.

- Oh, am I not?

Am I not treating a Friday night quiz down the local

with the somber reverence it deserves?

- Those are some big words for someone

who can't answer a very simple question.

I don't know, Julia Roberts, Okay?

- Who invented the ZX Spectrum, Julia Roberts?

- Well, who did then?

- I don't know, I've lost the page.

- Morning kids, what's crack-a-lackin'?

- Have you been walking Alan?

- Yeah. - For an hour?

We were up at seven and you'd gone then.

- I can't sleep, can I?

- Eurovision. 1976. - Brotherhood Of Man,

"Kisses For Me."

(hands slapping)

- Why can't you sleep dad?

- Why do you think?

In 40 years of marriage,

me and your mum have never had a night apart.

I can't get used to this.

- The Prodigy, first number one.

- (sighing) Dan.

(book slapping)

You're all right though, aren't you?

It's only a couple more days.

- Yeah.

"Boom, I'm the firestarter!"

- "Boom, twisted fire starter!"

Oh, we have got this in the bag.

You on music, me and Greg on sport,

Lisa on, well, it's in the bag anyway.

Tomorrow night that trophy's coming home.

- You don't even get a trophy.

- Well, a metaphorical trophy then.

See, I know big words too.

See you later.

(Lisa laughing)

- I wish I could go back on Saturday.

- Oh, dad, you know how expensive weekend flights are.

It's only couple more days.

I tell you what, go and get Dan's laptop

and give me mum a video call.

- Yeah, I can do that.

Thanks, love.

(light music)

How does it work again?

Ah.

(somber music)

(bed banging) (moaning)

(alarm blaring)

(phone ringing) - Sorry, guys,

sorry about this.

Hello Charlie. - Now then, boss.

- I've told you, you don't have to call me boss.

- Sorry, chief.

Er, so any jobs going?

- Nothing yet. - Is it worth discussing

the idea of a retainer?

- Sorry Charlie, what?

I can't hear you, the reception here--

(phone beeping)

- Who was that?

- Greg.

Still no work.

Which means I get to spend the day with you again.

(bead curtain clattering)

- Lucky me.

- Hello, are you there? - I'm here.

Hello, Barry. - I can't see you.

Can you see me? - Yes, I can see you.

- So can I. - Sorry?

- I can see me too. - you have to click

on the little red button.

(keys clicking)

- Oh, I can see you now.

Can you see me? - Yes, Barry,

I can still see you.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Everything all right? - Couldn't be better.

It's another beautiful day here.

- Can I speak to Sue? - She's gone out.

Popped off to see Ricardo again.

- Ricardo? - At the market.

The young one looks like Tom Jones.

- Oh, that one.

Always has his shirt open? - That's him.

She's after more of his chorizo.

She can't get enough of Spanish sausage at the moment.

- How do you mean?

(doorbell dinging)

- Oh, I'd better go Barry,

that'll be the pool man.

Nice talking to you.

(lips smacking)

- You too.

Oh, I can see me again.

Pam, Pam?

(upbeat music) - Welcome back

to before the boy was 10, some more about this little boy.

- What you watching? - Jeremy Kyle.

- What's that then?

- A television program. - Oh.

(sighing)

What's it about?

- I don't know, I can't bloody hear it, can I?

- Oh, aye, I remember this.

Only, didn't he used to be a black woman?

- Caw. (mug slamming)

- Where you going? - For a slash.

You wanna come with me and ask stupid bloody questions

about that as well?

(door slamming) (comical music)

(sighing)

* Oh oh oh oh

(phone ringing) * Oh oh

- Hi mum. - Take your dad back on.

- Nope. - Please.

- Nope. - He's doing me

pigging head in.

Following me around like an egg fart.

- Colorful, mum. - I'm serious.

I've had piles less clingy than this.

- Well, you have my sympathies, for what it's worth

but there's not much I can do about it.

We're having the same trouble with Barry at the moment.

- Barry? - Yeah, he's staying

with us whilst Sue's away, isn't he?

Doesn't seem to know what to do with himself.

- Charlie? - Mum, mum?

(phones ringing) - I still can't believe it.

It just goes to show you doesn't it?

You think you know someone and then they reveal

this hidden dark side, like Hank Marvin.

- Hank Marvin?

- Oh no, not Hank Marvin.

Who am I thinking of?

The one with the cellar?

- I've no idea, love.

But you are right, never judge a book

by its cover and all that.

- Talking of hidden depths, what about your Dan, eh?

- Oh, my God, he was amazing wasn't he?

Like an action hero or summat.

Jack, boof, right on the chin.

(laughing) Kind of sexy.

Oh, don't worry, I don't fancy him or ought.

- Well good. - Not at all.

- Okay. - I mean, he's too old

for a kick off and-- - Yeah, all right,

Denise, thanks.

Good morning. - Is it?

- Mind you, he was the biggest shock

of the night, wasn't he?

- I know, he actually did right by us for once.

- I suppose.

(contemplative music) - Now then, Barry.

- All right, Charlie.

Dan's not here.

- Er, not here to see Dan, here to see you.

- Are you? - Yeah,

thought we could have a quick trip

down a few watering holes.

- What, what now? - Why not?

- Er, I suppose we could, if you like.

- Better than sitting around the house all day.

- Aye, all right.

Thanks, Charlie. - Don't forget your wallet.

- That sounds great.

I think you've made real progress there.

- Another one ticked off then?

- It's not a checklist, Kate.

- Right, sorry.

- Which probably means we need to start thinking

about how you view your own place in the community.

You used to run the cake shop, didn't you?

- It's closed down.

It's one of them cash for gold shops now.

Oh, I don't wanna work there.

- Maybe there's a skill-set there

that you might want to return to.

- Catering?

(upbeat music)

- All right.

Blimey.

Hiya, love, hey, it's nice here, isn't it?

You all right, Shelley?

- (laughing) Er, yeah yeah, fine.

What you doing here?

Not come for a job, have you?

- You've not, have you? - He hasn't, has he?

- Have you, Barry? - No.

Why, is there one going?

- No. - Yeah!

- Anyway, I've been out with Charlie,

but he went off for some fish and chips

at that place I don't like, and I thought to myself,

it must be nearly her lunch break.

- Go, go, deal.

- Are you drunk? - A little bit.

(light music) (customers chattering)

What did you say was in this again?

- Never mind what's in it, just get it down you.

What do you think you are playing at getting plastered

in the middle of the morning, eh?

- I don't know.

I never meant to.

Charlie's fault.

But, I feel fine now.

Doesn't half wake you up, this stuff.

- What have I told you about playing with the rough boys?

I know you're bored, dad, but is it really

that bad having a few days away from me mum?

- Yes it is.

You'd be the same with Dan.

- So did you erm speak to me mum on the computer?

- No, she wasn't there.

- Hey, I've got something that will cheer you up.

- What? - I'm going to pick

Alan's passport up tomorrow.

- Be funny sat on the plane with a dog though.

- They don't sit with you dad, they go in the luggage hold.

- Them little ones over the seats?

- Of course not. - I was gonna say.

Can I have another one of these?

Then I'll get back to Charlie.

- What, you're not done?

- He wants to make a day of it.

- Oh.

(water splashing)

(door knocking) - Mind if I come

and have my lunch with you?

Lisa's gone off with her dad.

- Yeah, I thought I saw him.

What's that about? - Oh, no idea.

- Now this. (laughing)

Haven't had one for ages, got a craving, you know.

- Hmm, oh, look, I wanted to say thank-you

for the other night for backing me up with Jack, I mean.

I know he was a mate of yours.

- He was a tool.

Best shot of him.

- You had to find somewhere else to live then?

- I am staying in a hotel.

- A hotel? - Well, motel, sort of.

It's nice though.

Just off the motorway.

24 hour room service, movie channels.

Bachelor's paradise.

I suppose you must go round sometimes, to Denise's.

You do that, don't you, girls?

Just, go around each other's houses and that?

- [Shelley] Why don't you just ask me how he is?

- How is he? - Gorgeous.

Seriously, Fergus, why don't you just drop

this whole legal action thing?

Neither of you want it.

- No other option. - Really?

What about talking to her?

- There is no talking to her.

She thinks I'm a prick.

Probably am. - You're not.

You know, not all the time.

Look, if she could just see how low you are, then--

- I'm not low.

- You're living in a motel.

- Living the dream in a motel.

(slow music)

- Erm, Julia Roberts?

- Huh, very funny.

So this is what you do is it?

Sit around with your mates having a big laugh about me?

- Correct, 2000 Oscar, best actress, Julia Roberts.

Okay, same year, best actor?

- Sir Clive Sinclair?

(laughing)

- So, where's me dad?

He's not still out with Charlie, surely?

- I don't know, were they out then?

- Your dad's taken him on an all day bender apparently.

- Really?

Oh, that'll have been me mum's idea.

She was after getting him out from under her feet.

- So it's her fault that he rocked up

to my work place pissed out of his head, is it?

- Did he? - It's not funny, Dan.

- (laughing) It is a bit.

- Right, Gary will be back, I should get cracking.

- Where you going? - Football, I told you.

I'll test you some more in the car.

- Oh really? (phone ringing)

- Reconnect.

It's Radio Manchester, they want to interview you.

- Me, why?

- They sound really excited.

- Hello? - Er, Denise,

sorry to bother you.

- You're not Radio Manchester. - What?

Look, I hate to ask, kind of need a favor.

- What sort of favor? - I left my briefcase

in the office, big conference call in the morning,

really need those reports.

No chance of you running it down to us is there?

- Are you joking?

Why didn't you ask Talia?

- Have you ever tried getting her to do anything after five?

I'll pay your cab fare.

Please Denise, I'm desperate.

Big bonus in next month's wage slip for you.

- Fine, I can use it to pay my legal fees, can't I?

- Bianca? - Yeah.

She's in a flap about being late.

She thinks Gary'll be cross.

Slightly over-estimating how much a teenage boy wants

his step-mum on the sidelines.

- So you and her?

Are you er, you know...

- Aw, Dan, I'm touched. - What?

- Our friendship, it's reached

that caring and sharing level.

We should have a boy's night in.

You know, eat ice cream and talk about girls.

- All right, fair enough, your business.

But I'm free Wednesday, and I like chunky caramel.

- Oh. (foot thumping)

- We've got a problem.

- Hmm hmm. - No referee.

And he's crashed his car.

- Is he all right? - Yeah, yeah, nothing serious.

Him and his neighbor, backing out at the same time.

I mentioned to some of the lads

about you running the uni squad.

- Oh.

(coughing) Well, doesn't the assistant ref usually step in?

- He was the neighbor.

- I'm not exactly dressed for it, Gary, you know.

- We've got some spare trackies inside.

- Okay, why not?

Come on then, I'm gonna need an assistant on the lines.

- What me? - Yeah.

If you're not up to it.

Lot of running involved.

- Manual laborer, me.

Not sat behind some desk marking exercise books.

What makes you think I'm not up to it?

- Your apparent fondness for caramel chunks?

(slow rock music) You're a funny guy.

I'm having my doubts about taking this relationship

to the next level after all.

- That sounds really good, Kate.

I'm pleased that she thinks you're doing so well.

- She does.

Reckons it won't be that long

'til I can stop going altogether.

And she's been encouraging me to think about the future too,

So I have.

And you know what I've thought?

- Mm? - Cakes.

- Cakes? - Cakes.

- Cakes.

- Plate some up overnight,

then take them round offices and businesses.

"The coffee break that comes to you."

What do you think?

'Cause everybody loves cake don't they?

I know you do.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Well, nothing.

Did you not used to like my cake?

(doorbell dinging)

- Yes, love, look, I've got to go, someone's at the door.

- Listen, is it all right if I call round tomorrow?

- Yeah, sure, I'll talk to you later.

(phone beeping)

- Is he here? - Dan?

- No, not Dan.

Why would I want to see Dan?

- Please, come in. - Charlie?

- Charlie, he's out with me dad somewhere.

Your idea apparently.

- Tsk (sighing) "Go out for a quick one," I said,

not a bleeding pub crawl.

- You missing him? - Don't be so stupid.

(light music) * Oh oh

(door knocking)

(door clicking)

- Ah, nice one, cheers.

Just stick it on the erm, well,

there's not much room is there, give it here.

- Living here are you? - Yeah, well, you know,

it's not ideal, like,

but the way things have been going lately.

- Still, at least you've got your

important reports for tomorrow, right?

Yeah, I opened it.

- Opened it?

Denise, that's like corporate spying.

- Yeah, I'd bring that up tomorrow on your conference call

if I were you, in between discussing the Nuts magazine

and the Argos catalog you just had me ferry over.

What was I supposed to do?

Look round, feel sorry for you?

Well, good news, it worked, I do.

And that bonus better be very big.

- I just don't want things to go back

to how they were before.

Me at home, him out all hours.

That's what went wrong last time.

- I don't know, why don't you

always give him a reason to come home?

- Don't be disgusting.

You're as bad as him.

- No, I didn't mean that.

I meant like, erm, wifey things, you know,

like do him a nice dinner now and again.

- Do him a dinner?

Christ, who let you do the 1950s, eh?

- All right, you asked.

(men laughing) - Er, I didn't, actually.

* Does anyone know the way

* There's got to be a way

* To blockbuster

- Hey, hey, hey, no, no, no no no,

you didn't leave a gap.

It's all about the gap you see?

* Does anyone know the way

* There's got to be a--

- Hey, what you doing here?

Ah, were you worried about me?

- As if.

I better get him home.

If he's on to Sweet, we've about ten minutes

before he collapses.

Come on you.

- See you later then, Badger-Man.

- Laters, Chuckie-La.

- Aye. - "Badger-Man"

and "Chuckie-La"? - Yeah.

- They only think they're bleeding

crime fighters now, Jesus.

- Yeah, yeah, pew! - Come on.

- Pew, pew pew pew

pew pew pew boom. (laughing)

- come on.

Get out.

- Oh, man.

That has been my worst day ever.

We have nothing, nothing in common.

Has he told you about the time

he saved Alvin Stardust's life, hey hey?

He has me, six times.

Only his story kept changing all through the day.

Oh, and on the way back here,

it weren't even Alvin Stardust anymore.

It were David Essex. "Rock On."

Oh, oh, oh, room's spinning.

I'll have to go to bed, love.

- But it's half six, dad. - Oh.

(light music)

- Oh. (puffing)

Jesus.

(whistling sounding)

Thank god for that.

Oh, over already?

Barely felt like ten minutes.

- Sure, cheers for stepping in.

- What are you doing here, Jenny?

- What am I doing here, what are you doing here?

- I came to watch.

I was just doing this as a favor.

- Oh, multi-tasking, right,

well that always was your forte wasn't it?

- Yeah, well, a pleasure as always, Jenny.

- Girlfriend not with you?

I assume that's still going on is it?

Probably not had time to move in on her sister yet?

(light music) - Like I said,

always a pleasure. - Likewise.

(upbeat music)

- Oh, ah, all right, so I'm not 21 any more.

(grunting) When was the last time you did any exercise?

- I've kind of gone off gyms recently.

Can't think why.

- Oh, yeah.

I better go.

Where's Bazza, I thought he was always up early?

- Sleeping off yesterday's adventures I expect.

Dan, he's really fed up.

Is there no way we can change his ticket to tomorrow?

- At a hundred quid excess?

He's fine.

Wait 'til he wins us this quiz tonight,

that'll cheer him up.

- Ah. - Bazza, 2011,

"Sex on Fire"?

- I don't know.

- What do you mean, "You don't know?"

- Kings Of Leon.

Oh. - Come on,

you're our star player.

Get that down you.

I need you at the top of your game.

As opposed to the bottom of a bottle.

Ah, argh. - Oh, oh.

Oh.

(box clattering)

- Morning, Dan.

Oh, are you all right?

- Fine. - Are you sure?

Oh, don't feel bad about it,

we all let things slip.

Except Chris.

He starts every morning with twenty pull-ups.

- Does he? - Oh, yeah.

Once a footballer always a footballer.

Aw, I know how you feel, though.

It is intimidating to be around someone

who's at the peak of their fitness isn't it?

Sometimes I wonder whether I should work out more?

I have let things go a bit.

I wouldn't want Chris to think--

- Look, Bianca...

(light music)

You look great.

Fantastic.

You shouldn't have to change for anyone.

- Oh, you, I don't believe a word of it.

You, old charmer.

- [Presenter] Above me is lot 147.

- Come on. - It's a fourth floor,

one-bedroom flat the guide-price 225 to 250,000.

Ah, God. - But this is a positive

start, you've got that electronic entry system.

- Thought you'd be nursing a hangover this morning.

- Nah, constitution of an ox, me.

- With a face to match.

- You know, he's a good sort, that Barry.

Think I might have found me new wingman.

- Wingman? - Yeah.

All me other mates round here seem

to have vanished since I been away.

Stevie, Colin, Fat Terry, Nige, Stanners.

- Dead, dead, moved to Swindon, in a nursing home, dead.

- Seriously, Swindon?

Anyway, I reckon he really enjoyed it as well.

Might as well take him out again today.

- Again? - Yeah.

- What time will you be back?

- Dunno, does it matter? - No.

Only I thought I might do us a dinner.

- A dinner? - Yes, a dinner.

People do have 'em you know?

- What, together?

- No, I thought you could have yours in the shower.

- Ah yes.

- Well, do you want one or not?

- Oh, yeah.

Sounds good.

(office people chattering) (phone ringing)

- Morning, Denise. - Morning.

- What's up with your face?

- Well, what do you mean?

Well, you've got a pout on.

- Oh, him, Fergus.

- Well, what's he done now?

- Only got me to his hotel under false premonitions.

Did this whole "I'm at rock bottom" routine,

like it would make me forgive him.

Pathetic.

Where would he get a stupid idea like that from?

- I do think that he is actually

at rock bottom at the moment.

I don't think it is an act.

- It's always an act.

(light music)

- Oh. - Badger-Man.

- You all right? - Never better, you?

I phoned Greg, still no work on.

- Oh, sorry about that.

- Don't be sorry, gives us an excuse for round two.

- Round two? - Yeah, you and me,

picking up where we left off last night.

- Oh, I don't think so, Charlie.

I probably shouldn't leave Alan.

Not, not two days on the run.

- Ah, bring him with.

- Really? - Yeah.

Let's show him how it's done, eh?

- Right.

I'll go and get him. - Yeah, yeah.

And your wallet.

- I feel rotten now.

He's obviously taken my advice to heart, invited her round,

and then just made a pure tit of himself as usual.

- See, that's what happens when you try

and interfere with people's private lives.

So have you spoke to Greg yet?

What?

Ah, no, that's different.

I'm not interfering, I'm just asking.

- Right, well, no, I haven't as it goes.

Still awkward.

- You know he's going to this quiz?

- Hmm hmm.

Well as long as you don't leave me alone with him it's fine.

What is it with Dan and this quiz?

He's not stopped going on about it for days.

- Oh, I don't know, he gets something in his head and--

It's not me dad again, is it?

Please tell me it's not me dad again.

- It's not your dad again.

- Aw, ducks. - Chicks.

Hiya, Lisa, hiya, Shelley.

Well, here I am.

I brought the cakes, like you said.

- Did I? - My idea, remember?

"The coffee break that comes to you."

You said I could pop down.

- Oh, on the phone last night?

No, I just meant you could come round to mine

for a chat or something.

- Oh, well that'd be nice.

- Well-- - Well, since I'm here,

how's about a cake, pound each.

- Er, what are they?

- Easter cakes.

- But it's October.

- Yeah, but I had a packet of fluffy chicks left over.

- Um why put the chicks on at all?

- Because they're Easter cakes.

- I'll have one. - Yeah.

- So will I, um Shelley?

- Oh, yes, please.

Mm, mm, oh, actually they're amazing.

- Yeah, yeah they are. (laughing)

- I don't suppose you'll want any more.

I haven't thought this through, have I?

- So I pulls him out, and he looks at me and he says,

"Charlie, you've saved my life."

Ah, here we are.

(cheering) (booming music)

- You said it were a little wine bar.

- They'll have wine.

(light music)

- Jane, I've lost everything.

I did wrong and I hurt you.

(phone ringing)

- Give these to Fergus will you?

- Jane, please, I'm not saying that we should just--

I know.

I just miss her so much.

And I miss you too.

I just want us to--

If I could just see her.

If I could just--

Jane?

- Well, it's obvious isn't it?

That's why he moved.

His own wife's sister, who does that?

- So you were assistant ref?

You?

Running up and down the side?

- Yes, and a good job I made of it too, thanks.

That's not really the point of

what I've been saying though, is it?

What about Bianca?

Everything she's been through.

He seemed such a sound bloke.

I don't want to see her get hurt.

- Neither do I.

It's not really our area, this, though, is it?

Shouldn't you talk to Lisa?

- I daren't.

She's been so protective of her since Jim died.

She'd probably go straight round and nut him.

- Well, she learned from the best.

- Huh huh, hey, I hope you've been boning up

on your sports trivia. - Yeah, yeah.

- Starts at eight. - Hiya Dan.

Do you want to buy an Easter cake?

- Sorry? - Oi, I've told you,

you're not selling them in here.

- Miserable sod.

See you later.

(game machine whirring)

- What?

- Kate was just here.

With a big box of fluffy ducks.

(light music)

- Okay, I'll just,

oh capers.

(jar smashing) Oh, bollocks! (sighing)

(horn honking) - Oh, very funny, knobhead.

- Hey, you'll never guess what happened to me today.

- What?

Oh, shit, run us down the vet's will you?

- Oh, you're not due your worming again, are you?

- Hey, hang on, I'm serious.

I promised dad I'd pick up Alan's passport.

He's chipped, and all his jabs are up to date.

We'll just grab it and go.

- Well, we haven't got time.

We've got to get to the quiz.

- But, it doesn't start 'til eight.

- Yeah, but I wanna get a good seat.

- Now then, kids. - What are you doing here?

What have you done to your eye?

- Bit of an accident at the strip club.

- Strip club? - I've spent all day

entertaining your father-in-law.

- You've done what?

- You've not got him drunk again have you?

- Don't be soft, he'll be fine.

- Thank God for that. - Just needs to sleep

it off for a bit.

(snoring)

(light music)

(moaning)

- You won't tell your mum, will you?

- What, that you got drunk,

or that you took Alan to a strip club?

- Oh, he had a lovely time.

Did you get his passport?

- No, I'm picking it up in the morning.

- Right.

'Cause, er I've got his photos.

- Photos?

- You just got to cut me out the frame that's all.

He wouldn't go in by himself.

- Dad, you really don't need--

They're very good, very good.

- Right, I'm off too.

Got to go to this stupid quiz thing.

Don't stay too late.

- He really does have nowt anymore, does he?

Fergus.

- I think he's just starting to realize that.

- It's not my fault, is it?

He were the one that lied to her.

- Denise, no, it's not your fault, it's his.

And I think he's just starting to realize that, and all.

Are you Okay?

- Yeah.

(light music)

- How you feeling?

Old synapses firing up again?

Back issues of Melody Maker flicking through your mind?

- Oh, for God's sake.

- Could do with a wee.

- Okay, quick easy one.

- Dan! - No, no, he's fine.

Watch.

Solo singer, female, "Price Tag."

* It's not about the money, money, money *

- I'm sorry, Dan.

- You've broken him. - For God's sake,

why is winning this stupid pub quiz so important to you?

- Because I've never won anything, ever, all right?

Not a quid on a scratch card,

not an egg and spoon race at sports day, nothing.

- You won that coloring competition that time.

- Shut up. - Oh,

what coloring competition? - When he were a kid.

In the local paper,

won tickets to Lightwater Valley, remember?

- No. - Yeah, he colored

in one of them funny little fluffy things you used to like,

with the hearts on, what were they?

- Care Bear? - No.

- [Charlie] Yeah, that were them, Care Bears!

(laughing)

- I was like, eight or something.

They were bears.

I didn't know they were for girls.

Why would bears be for girls?

- No wonder you didn't win the egg and spoon race.

- Can we just drop it?

- Jessie J. - Yes!

He's back in the game. (laughing)

(hands slapping)

- Denise.

- Well, you haven't got one, have you?

You should have one.

- Thank-you.

Do you want to come in? - No.

- Okay.

- I'm going out next weekend.

I need a babysitter.

- Are you serious?

- A trial run, that's all.

- Yeah, a trial run.

Yes, absolutely.

Of course.

Thank-you.

- You'll drop the legal thing?

- Yeah.

- Good.

(light music)

And have a shave.

- Okay, let's go, no dawdling.

- Hiya, Dan, hiya, Lisa.

Well, you're not going out are you?

- Yeah, and we're a bit, um--

- Well, it's just that,

Lisa said to come round tonight, for a chat.

- Did I?

No, I said that I thought that you were coming

round tonight for a chat when you were at the office.

But you said that you thought

that I said I wanted you to go there.

Anyway, we're off down the pub.

- Oh, to that quiz?

- Yes. - No.

(light music)

- Right, good, I'll get the drinks.

- Me too.

Er, Badger? - He's fine, thank you.

- Oh, have we missed it?

Are we late? - Er, no no, sorry.

Maximum five to a team, me dad's turned up, so er,

says on the poster.

- Well, fine then.

We'll make up our own team, won't we, Chris?

- That's our chunky caramel night canceled,

you know that, right?

- It's not on that, Dan, sending them off

on their tod like that.

If you'd have let Kate come,

we could have split the teams.

I feel rotten now.

- Right, we need to lose one more.

- I can go if you like.

- Ah, would you, Greg? - No, no, no, you're sports.

Argh, it's all falling apart.

Er, Shelley, you go.

- Excuse me? - Well you don't

really have a specialist subject, do you?

- I said he's fine, thank you, very much.

- Hair of the dog.

Sort him out proper, right, Badger?

- I feel better now, Lisa.

- Right, well, I guess I'll go then.

- Good, good, everyone's happy.

(light music)

(door squeaking)

(sighing)

(grunting)

Killer off Psycho.

(grunting) We really should have asked Kate, shouldn't we?

I bet she'd have known this one.

It's probably her favorite film.

- It's Norman Bates.

- Well, why didn't you say?

- Because I was enjoying you going (grunting) too much.

(laughing)

- Okay, question 12, still with films.

Which 1957 Ingmar Bergman classic

features the famous cheese scene?

Sorry, chess scene.

- (snorting) Well, I don't really watch films.

What's the name of that one I used to like?

In the high school, with the singing and the pink ladies.

- "Grease"? - That's it, Chris,

put "Grease" down.

- You're too good at this, Bianca.

(pen snapping)

- Aw, come on, someone must know this.

They've got it, I can tell they've got it.

Dad? - What?

Oh sorry, son, I wasn't listening.

- Have you drank that already?

- Lisa. - Oh I don't know,

put anything down. - Brilliant.

- I'll get you another. - Charlie, no.

- Lethal Weapon 3. - Is it?

- Is it what?

- Is it Lethal Weapon Three? - I dunno.

Lisa said put anything down.

- Oh, you're funny, you are.

This counts as your category, you know.

He said they played chess, that's sports.

- Chess isn't a sport.

- Chess is a sport.

And I'm putting Lethal Weapon Two.

(light music)

(sighing)

- And finally, what was the name of the band

originally formed by Leo Sayer,

before his more successful solo career?

- Right, come on, Baz, your time to shine.

Barry! - Hello, hello.

- Leo Sayer. - Come on Barry,

Leo Sayer, original band?

- Brotherhood Of Man, "Kisses For Me."

- Oh, he did that one, did he? - No, no, he didn't.

Dad? - What?

- Just put anything. - Oh, yeah, like what?

Die Hard?

- Mum. - Pauline.

(plate clattering)

- Whoa. - I told you

I was making you dinner.

I slaved over that all afternoon.

- Fish fingers? - Okay, so I slaved

over summat else.

Fucked it up.

Then I slaved over that.

- My favorite. - And there was

a quiz night on?

I love quiz nights.

- There's another one on tomorrow night,

at the Sailors' Arms.

Me and you could go?

- Yeah.

Well, I'll have to check me schedule.

Come on, budge up.

- Please tell me you know which band Leo Sayer was in?

(light music) (clapping)

- Chris, Chris, come on quickly.

He's the brains, he's the brains.

Come on, Shel, come on.

Chris!

Oh, thank-you so much.

You were really good.

- Aw, they're a sweet couple. - Hmm hmm.

- And you're a sore loser.

I don't like this competitive side.

You're to stop it.

- I'm not a sore loser.

I wasn't that bothered.

- Oh, hah. (laughing)

- Aw, there was a trophy.

I could have had a trophy.

- Don't worry, love.

I'll get you a Care Bear.

- I've never won anything ever.

- Dan.

- I'll call the airline. - Thank you.

(snoring)

(upbeat music)

* Leave the sad old days back where they belong *

* And just let three stereos

- Chips.

Hey, you.

* Woo oh, woo oh

* Oh oh oh oh oh the lights go out in the suburbs *

* Woo woo woo woo woo woo

* The lights come on in our house *

* Oh oh oh all we have right now is all we are *

- Come on.

* Today is all we'll ever know for sure *

* And all I have is all I can

* And all I have is all I had

* And all I have is all I know

* And all in all we're doing just fine *

* Oh oh oh oh oh oh

* And all in all we're doing just fine *

* Oh oh oh oh oh oh

(upbeat music)