Original subtitles

(gentle electronic tones)

(midtempo jazz music)

(lively instrumental music) - And we're talking about dry.

- Looking forward to your mum and dad coming home are ya?

- Oh, is it tomorrow?

I'd forgotten.

- Had you?

Is that why you're throwing a party, is it?

- I just thought it'd be nice to take them out

for a welcome home drink, that's all.

It's not a party.

- How come you've asked Shelley and Denise then?

- And Bianca.

But it's not a party.

Just miss them that's all.

(midtempo instrumental music)

- I'd never have noticed.

(glove snaps)

- I know, I know, it's the hardest part.

We're so keen to stress the importance

of putting things behind you and moving on,

but that's never easy, not when you still have regrets

for what's happened.

Sometimes we can't get past things

until we tackle them head on.

- Step five. - Step five.

- Making amends.

- Have you given it any thought?

Who you think might be best placed

to help facilitate this idea?

- Yes, and yes, I have.

- Good.

And who might that be?

(gentle guitar music)

- [Lisa] Dan!

(door thuds) - What?

- Is this how it is now then?

Full on surveillance every time you step outside the house?

You're probably never gonna see her again.

She just wanted to tell us she was back, that's all.

I thought it was quite big of her, actually.

She could have done that with a phone call,

instead of materializing on our doorstep

like the Blair Witch.

I've hardly had a wink of sleep.

- You were snoring for six hours straight.

- I do not snore.

- It's like a walrus being fed through a wood chipper.

- (chuckles) I'll see you later.

- See ya.

But stop worrying.

- I'm not worrying.

Lock this door when I'm gone, yeah?

(phone rings)

- Hello?

Oh, I'm sorry love, I think you've got the wrong number,

I don't need a psychiatrist.

Well, I've not called for one anyway.

Sorry?

(engine rumbles)

(horn honking)

- Charlie.

(horn honks)

- What say we let him beep some more

while we go for a slow-motion replay?

- Don't get used to it, Hefner,

that was a one off, we were celebrating.

(horn honking) - Aw.

The re-kindling of our love?

- Shut up.

I'm close enough to puking as it is.

If I was celebrating anything,

it's you getting that sodding bailiff off my back.

- Yeah.

- Now will you get out there before he.

(horn honking) (Pauline groans)

- Okay, all right, all right, I'm going, I'm going.

Have you done us a packed lunch?

(wrapper crinkles) (upbeat music)

- And you're all right with all of this?

- I wasn't at first,

and then the way the doctor explained it to me,

well I dunno.

I sort of, well yeah.

It suits me really.

I'm a very caring person.

- Are you?

- Yeah, course!

And it doesn't involve much.

Just being on the end of a phone really.

And what do you think Dan'll say?

- He'll be all right.

- He won't, will he? - No.

- No.

- How are ya then, Greg.

- Hey, all right.

Here love, two more please.

- Thanks lad.

Better make some room for it, eh?

- Never work with family.

- Aw, he's coolest, Charlie.

- Oh, you reckon?

You try it then.

Actually, why not? - Why not what?

- You must have some bog-standard labor needs filling.

Get him off my back.

- Yeah all right, sure I can find him something.

- Aw mate, I owe you a pint.

- You already do, more than one.

After everything I've done for you recently,

you owe me a brewery.

- What did you do with the, eh?

- What?

- The coke.

- Ah, is that what that meant?

Jesus.

- What did you think it meant?

- I was trying not to.

- Well?

- Yeah, yeah, it's sorted. - [Dan] You got rid of it?

- Nothing to worry about.

- Thanks, mate.

- A lot we're taking Barry and Sue out

for welcome home drinks tomorrow,

come with if you like.

- And that'll be us squits will it?

I save you from a foreign jail and you invite me to a party.

- It's not a party.

- What's not a party?

(gentle acoustic music)

- I didn't fire him, Mum, I found him something better.

Well, I don't know exactly what he'll be doing.

But it'll be better.

(keys jingle)

Yes, he can still have his wages for the week.

Holiday pay?

Fine, and holiday pay.

What are you, his manager, are we done?

I'm free to do whatever I

Whatever I choose and I'll sing the blues

If I want

I've done it, Lise.

I've lumped him off to Greg, poor sod.

Oh, hello.

- No, its all right, you can lump who you like

off onto Greg, it's nothing to do with me.

- Um, as your here actually,

I've also, sort of invited him to drinks tomorrow night.

You don't mind do you?

- Of course she minds!

- No, no, it's fine, honestly.

You know we're all grown ups.

- Me mum and dad are coming too.

- Oh brilliant, nice going.

It's a party.

- I thought you said it wasn't a party.

- Shall I book us all into the salon tomorrow then?

- [Lise] (gasps) Yes.

- Hang on.

So there's four people coming, it's not a party,

but add three more and suddenly you're booking time

in a salon?

- Yeah. - Yes.

- It's hard being a woman isn't it?

- Finally he gets it!

(Shelley laughs)

- What's this?

- Right, I'm gonna go, I'll see you tomorrow.

- See you, love. - Bye.

- Eh?

Are you at all familiar with the concept

of a support network?

- No, I'm not.

- Oh, that's a shame because this would be a lot easier

if you were.

The psychiatrist who looks after Kate

called me this morning,

and she asked me to bob into her office, and--

- And?

- She sort of kind of asked me to be part of one.

No, it's not what you thinking,

she not going to be popping 'round for tea and biscuits

or out like that.

It's just being there if she needs it really.

And it's good, if you think about it,

'cause you have been worried haven't you?

And if we're involved, if I'm involved

in seeing that she's all right,

then things can get better for all of us.

- How on earth did you let yourself get talked into this?

- I've no idea.

But it's something to do isn't it?

(man knocking) (gentle blues music)

- [Bailiff] Who are you?

- [Charlie] Who are you?

- [Bailiff] Where's Pauline?

- [Charlie] I don't know anyone called Pauline.

- [Bailiff] What you doing in her house, then?

Are you the husband?

- What if I am?

- [Bailiff] The one that ran off with Babs?

- [Charlie] Sorry, who are you?

- [Bailiff] The other man in her life.

- [Charlie] You are?

- I'm the bailiff.

Don't tell me she hasn't told you about me.

'Cause she's certainly told me all about you.

Oh, aye, we've had a fair few heart to hearts

through this here letterbox.

- Apparently so.

- [Bailiff] And she's taken you back has she?

Thought she had more sense.

- [Charlie] And I thought you'd have more sense

than sticking your face up against a letterbox

when the bloke inside's carrying a spoon.

(window clicks) - Fine.

- Well, you tell her she's had every chance, it's over now.

If she hasn't got the money by tonight,

then the next time I'll be accompanied by a police officer,

a court order, and a battering ram.

Have a nice day.

(Charlie sighs)

- Chris is, have you just got changed?

- Hiya, Chris!

Thanks again for doing this.

- It's my pleasure, I'd never miss the chance

to see a future England star in action.

Bianca tells me, you play just like a young Madonna, is it?

- Better!

- [Chris] Come on then.

- Chris!

I was just wondering are you going to Lisa's party?

- I don't know anything about a party.

- It's just a little gathering at the pub,

I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you wanted to come.

- I don't really know anyone yet.

- You know me.

- Oh.

Are you saying you'd like me to be your plus one?

- (giggles) I don't know about that.

Yeah, as a thank you for all you're doing for Gary.

- It's a date.

(uplifting instrumental music)

- I can't thank you enough for letting me crash here.

- Not a problem mate.

Never hurts to be in with the boss.

Still can't get over the size of that thing.

I always wanted one but Jane, you know. (sighs)

Oh.

Sat here watching football at nine in the morning.

Seriously mate, have you any idea how good you've got it?

- Stick with me man, and one day all this could be yours.

(group cheering) (group applauding)

- Bloody hell! (Greg laughing)

Only fools rush in

But I can't help

Falling in love with you (men laughing)

(phone ringing) - Hello.

- Hiya, Lisa!

You don't mind me ringing do you?

Oh, I was made up when Dr. Edwards rang me this morning.

I can't thank you enough.

- Hiya. - Hey, all right, sir?

Um, what are you doing here?

At nine in the morning?

On a Saturday?

- Promised Sue we'd look in on you both while they're away.

- But they're back today.

- I know, it were first chance we've had.

Just on our way back from hospital.

- Nothing wrong I hope?

- I found a lump. - Oh, God.

- No, it were nothing.

Turns out you're meant to have one.

- It's funny, all these years and I'd never noticed before.

See it was right up inside--

- I'll find Lisa.

- Oh, I'm really sorry love, I can't this morning.

I'm already booked into the salon.

- Oh?

Oh, that's nice.

- [Lisa] Anyway, I'm going to have to go now.

- You must excuse her.

She's about to be sexually assaulted.

- What are you doing?

- Your Uncle Terry and Auntie Margaret are here.

- That was Kate.

- What? - On the phone. That was Kate.

You've just told a recently discharged psychiatric patient

that I'm about to be sexually assaulted.

- There's my favorite niece!

Come here you, you're lovely. (groaning)

- What's up? - Ah, it's the battery.

Haven't got any jump leads have you?

- Yeah, I have, but they're inside

and I really don't want to go back in there again.

Where you going? - Got a game.

- Well, if you don't mind a quick stop off on the way,

I'll drop you both down.

- I don't want to put you out, just get me some cables.

- Seriously.

I'm not going back in there.

- Okay.

(door knocking)

- [TV Narrator] Simon and Pippa

live in a typical Victorian home.

They've kind of fallen out of love with it.

- [Pauline] Ah, cheers.

- Who was it?

- The postman.

- Why, who you expecting?

- Uh, nobody.

- You usually abandon a shower for nobody?

- No, I mean I was waiting for the post wasn't I?

All them jobs I applied for.

- What jobs? - Just jobs.

- Well, unless they come with a final demand,

I don't reckon these are them.

(mail slaps)

- [TV Narrator] Discovering space like this.

- And what have I told you

about being nuddy during daylight?

Haven't even had me brekkie yet.

- Body of a 30 year old, me.

- In dog years.

- How come you end up owing all this anyway?

- Yeah, don't worry about it.

The bills are my issue, I'll sort it.

Which is going to be a lot easier without that bailiff.

- Yes, it was right up inside--

- But you are alright now, though?

- So they're back today then?

The old buggers.

We been trying to ring 'em.

- Oh, they don't answer the phone when they're abroad.

They don't like paying for the incoming calls.

They've worked out an emergency system for us though,

um, ring three times, hang up, count to three, ring again.

- Personality Disorder?

Barry leave this here did he?

- Can I have a look at that?

- Um, do you really think you should?

Look, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to boot you out.

I'm meeting the girls down at the salon.

- Oh aye?

Night on the tiles is it?

- No, just down the local, we're having a bit of a party.

- A party?

What for?

(dog barking)

- [Charlie] Oh, it's you.

- Yes.

- How's it going?

- Great, yourself?

- Grand, yeah.

- [Dan] Open the door, Dad.

- Oh yeah, sorry.

Can't be too careful.

Rough neighborhood.

- No it isn't.

Anyway, I'm not stopping,

I just brought your wages for last week, plus holiday pay.

- Ah, nice one cheers.

- Where'd you get all that from?

- Keep your voice down.

Off your mate didn't I?

Asked him for a week's advance, get me started.

- You did what?

- [Pauline] That our Dan?

- [Charlie] Not a word to your Mum.

- [Dan] Why not?

- Well, it's still early days isn't it?

- Have you done something?

- Oh, it is you.

What are you doing?

- Nothing, just-- - Lisa not with you?

- No, her and the girls have gone down the salon.

- Oh, I see!

So they rock up tonight

looking like a frigging Grammys After Show.

Whilst muggins here is the last chuck in the window.

I'm the ugly mate.

- Is that even a thing?

- Of course it's a thing, everyone knows that.

Oh, get out me way.

- Nice seeing you anyway.

(door thuds)

- Right.

- You can get a full wax here.

Everything.

- [Lisa] You going for it?

- I stood on a plug this morning,

that's my pain threshold for the day.

But Bianca?

You need to look good for your first date tonight,

don't you?

- It's not a date.

- I thought you said it was?

- Well, maybe, I mean, how can you tell?

- He said, "It's a date."

What do you think that means?

- Depends how he said it.

- Sort of all Geordie.

- It's a date, like.

(women laughing)

- Well, admittedly, I've been out the game

for quite a long time now.

But if I were to take a guess,

I would say that means it's a date.

- How much did you say the full wax was again, Shelley?

(gentle instrumental music)

- Anyway, weren't you supposed to be in Spain or something

this week?

- Um, oh, that, no.

Well, yeah, we were.

But the dog, see, Alan.

Horrendous diarrhea.

Me Mum was meant to pet-sit him,

but she sharp changed her mind.

- Couldn't you have used kennels?

- You'd think wouldn't you, offside!

(whistle chirps) (players chattering)

Free kick!

- Aye well, cheers for the lift again,

hope we're not putting you out.

You didn't have to hang around,

we'd have taxied it back.

- You're joking aren't you?

Standing here talking block tackles and body swerves

is the most normal conversation I've had in months.

(whistle chirps)

- Right, forward! - Forward!

- Oh, you beauty!

Ha ha, good lad!

- Right, come on, budge up.

- Hiya.

- Hey, what you doing here?

- Oh, this not Chessington World Of Adventures?

Oh well, since I'm here.

(phone rings)

Bleeding Ada, how much?

I could do that one myself with some sellotape

and a rolling pin.

- Do not tell me which one she's looking at.

- No.

Just me barnet then.

So what we talking about? - Oh, first dates.

Bianca's got one.

- Oh, has she now?

- We've been giving her tips.

- Only one thing you need to know, flower.

Never, ever shag 'em on the first date.

- Now that is a surprisingly good piece of advice, Pauline.

- Yeah.

Always wait till you've got 'em home.

(women giggle)

Oh, bloody hell.

Who let Rose West out?

(midtempo instrumental music)

- Hello.

Are you all right?

- Piggin hell, flower, she had a mental breakdown,

she's not six.

- Pauline! - What?

Just trying to spare her feelings.

- It's fine, I'm fine, Denise, thanks for asking.

- Oh, you're very welcome.

- Lisa said she was coming, so I just thought I'd pop down.

Actually, I was a bit concerned

because when you were on the phone to me,

I thought you said something about being sexually assaulted.

- No, I didn't.

- Didn't you?

Oh dear.

- The telly was on.

That's what it was, love.

- What were you watching?

- Can't remember. - You can't remember?

- It was Murder She Wrote, okay?

- Since I'm here I could have me hair done, couldn't I?

- Good idea, love.

I wasn't going to say anything,

but that one they gave you in there?

Very institutional.

- I didn't get me hair done in there.

- Murder She Wrote?

And there was a sexual assault in it?

- Yes, there was a bloody gang bang, all right?

- Why are you shouting at us?

- I don't know, love, I'm sorry.

I'm just a bit stressed out.

- About the party?

- Party?

(woman screaming)

- [Greg] Here we go.

- Nicely, nicely.

Hardly ever had take away at home.

Jane didn't like them.

- You know, you keep talking in the then

When you should be talking in the now.

- You what?

- You're having take away now.

You're watching morning telly now.

We're going out for a few drinks tonight, now.

Uh?

- Yeah, it should always have been like this, shouldn't it?

I was too young to be tied down.

Hardly got a chance to sow my wild oats.

- I'd say you managed that.

Look, you were just following a biological imperative,

that's all.

- You what?

- Instinct.

Problem is, you were following the wrong one.

- Ah, but what's the right one?

- This.

- Yeah.

- Fancy a beer?

- Nah, it's a bit.

Yeah, yeah, I do.

It's your lucky day

(doors thud)

- Cheers. - All right.

All right?

What?

Oh, the hair, yes.

Very nice, see, I noticed.

What?

- Promise you won't go mad.

- Why, what have you done?

- Just promise.

- Fine, I promise.

- You promised!

- Because I thought you were about to tell me

you'd burned a hole in me shirt or something!

Not that we're taking our ex stalker out for drinks!

- Yes, ex.

- Exes are exes for a reason you know?

How'd you feel if I'd invited my ex-girlfriend along?

- Which ex-girlfriend?

- What, I don't know, any of them.

- Oh, had that many have you?

Oh, let me guess, Nicola Laymon?

- Nicola?

What are you bringing her up for?

- I didn't bring her up, you brought her up.

- No I didn't. - Yes you did.

- You said you wanted to invite her to the party.

- Oh, for god's sake.

Are you doing that thing

where you try and replace one row with another?

- Might be.

Oh, Look, Dan, I was on the spot, and she asked me.

What was I supposed to say?

(Dan growls)

- Why can't we ever have a normal life, eh?

If people aren't trying to set us up as drug mules

they're going all Play Misty on us.

- She's not like that anymore, she wasn't herself.

And that whole thing about her murdering her husband--

- Oh yeah.

- Well, it was nonsense.

It was chucked out of court, and you know that.

She was just trying to make amends.

This is not about forgiving and forgetting.

It's just about moving forward, getting past it.

- Mm.

Well it's on your head.

I want that establishing right now.

I'm banking all this for the next time

you have a pop at me about something,

then I'll be the one doing a row switch.

See how you like it.

- You'll never pull it off love, it takes years of practice.

Oh come on, Dan, stop worrying.

I don't want it to ruin tonight.

It's important, this party.

- Important?

It's Barry and Sue coming back from holiday.

We're hardly flying banners are we?

- Ta-rah!

- Well, what do you think?

Had to give the barman a tenner to let us do that.

- I gave you a twenty.

- Did you?

- It's very, uh. - Uh.

- It's lovely.

Thank you so much.

- It were our pleasure.

Hey, come here.

- Shelley, Denise!

- Hello, love, you all right?

- Hello, all.

- Right, Bianca, what do you fancy?

- I think we all know that.

- Exactly how many faces are you putting on?

- [Pauline] Perfection takes time, smart arse.

And you want us to make an entrance, don't you?

- I'd rather have a sharp exit.

- So they definitely know to come here, yes?

You did that ring three times, hang up,

ring three times thing?

- I couldn't remember the order.

But I did leave him a voicemail.

They'll be here.

- Oh, reminds me.

If you speak to Chris,

the reason we didn't go on holiday

is 'cause Alan had the shits.

- What?

- Alan he had the shits.

- That was your excuse?

- I had to think fast, mate.

- That's brilliant.

I've just told Bianca I couldn't get any time off work.

- Oh, yeah.

That's a bit better that one.

- You reckon? (laughs)

Ah well.

It doesn't look like they're in the mood to compare notes.

Aw, look at them.

I'm made up for her.

She's had it so hard.

And he's lovely that Chris.

He's proper handsome too, isn't he?

- Hm.

What?

I don't know.

- Acknowledging that another man is good looking

doesn't necessarily make you gay you know?

- Doesn't help.

- Knobhead.

- Do you think I'm handsome?

- Shut up.

(Shelley laughing)

- Oh, I heard me Dad did that.

- Hello Dan. - Oh, yes!

Hello Kate, where's Lisa, Lisa!

You all right, how are you?

I'll just get Lisa.

- Well?

- Yeah, yeah, okay, let's go.

- Yeah, yeah, okay, let's go?

Is that it?

Four hours I've been up there getting ready.

- I know that, light of my life.

I've been timing you.

(door knocking)

- Who's that?

Ah, ah!

Get me, what you doing you nutter?

- Right, about getting rid of that bailiff.

I may have exaggerated a little.

- What do you mean by a little?

- I may have made the whole thing up a bit.

But I did it for you, so you'd be happy.

Temporarily.

- Oh you-- - Window!

You look really nice.

- Our first date, hoo.

I can't really remember to be honest.

But it's like the song says, it's in his kiss.

I reckon you can really tell how it's going

when you get them back to the front door

and they give you a goodnight snog.

Kiss on the cheek, thanks but no thanks,

proper let's be friends territory.

But full on the lips with just a gnat's whisker of tongue.

You're onto a winner, kid.

Shall I show you the difference?

- [Woman] Barry's car, Barry's car!

- Should we shout surprise?

- Shall we wait till they get in first?

- But should we shout it?

- No, let's avoid any sudden noises.

- I know, we should shout surprise in Italian!

- Why Italian, they've been in Spain.

- Oh, I don't know the Spanish for surprise.

- Do you know the Italian?

- No.

- It's (speaks in foreign language).

- [Group] Oh.

- [Bianca] Say that again.

- [Barry] What's crack-a-lackin?

- [Group] Surprise!

- You ever clean under there?

- Oh, I'll whip out the fucking hoover shall I?

Stick it on quiet mode.

- (sighs) I'm sorry.

- Not as sorry as I am.

Being fool enough to trust you again.

You said you'd changed, but you're just the same lying,

cheating little toe rag you ever were.

- In other words, the man you fell in love with?

- The man I fell in love with was a liar, yes.

And he was a blagger and a fantasist and all the rest.

I used to want to throttle him, but you know what?

I let it all go.

'Cause despite that, despite all of it,

there was one little thing I was always sure of.

That he'd always protect me.

That he'd never let anything happen to me.

'Cause that Charlie, he was scared of nothing.

I think he's gone.

- No, he hasn't.

And he never will.

- Charlie?

(sirens wailing) (midtempo rock music)

- Oi, Jobsworth!

- What do you reckon then, Dan?

Do you think it makes me look like Clint Eastwood?

Make my day, punk.

- Never mind that, where's me mum?

- Look, there's no easy way to say this.

- What?

Where is she, what's happened?

- She's met someone else.

A waiter called Pablo.

(Dan laughing)

- What, it was funny!

It wasn't funny, that wasn't funny, Barry.

- I'm sorry love.

But your Mum's fine.

So much so she's decided to stay on

for an extra couple of weeks.

- She's what?

- Sent me back to check on the house and Alan, of course.

How is Alan?

- She's staying another fortnight, she can't!

- I know you miss her, love.

- Miss her?

I've got four cycles of laundry at home

and a sink that's two bacteria short of evolving!

- I'll be sure to pass that on.

I know how important your laundry is to her.

- Dad.

I didn't invite them.

They must have just come in for a drink.

- It gets better and better doesn't it?

Maybe Kim'll show up next with the Russian mafia.

(midtempo rock music)

Yeah but it keeps my head down

- I need another drink.

Being someone else

Been so bad

(patrons chatter)

- Having fun?

- Is it that obvious?

- Everyone else seems to be.

- This was supposed to be for me mum.

- Right, enough moping.

Let's show these kids how we kick it old school.

- It's still daylight outside.

- So?

- Say that thing?

- What thing? - That thing.

- Are you dancing? - Are you asking?

- I'm asking. - Then I'm dancing.

- Come on. (laughs)

I been through time and space

- You off?

- Yeah, can't relax.

Big Brother and all that.

- Ah, right you are.

I'll be next

- (clicks tongue) Not enough.

- Well, it's gonna have to do,

'cause it's all you're getting.

End of.

- If you can't give us the full amount,

then I'm legally entitled to take the equivalent value.

That TV, for example.

- You are not taking her TV.

- Mr. Johnson, with respect, how old are you?

I could probably knock you over with my clipboard.

- Try it.

- Look, you've got enough now

to sort out a payment plan for the rest.

How many weeks has it taken you

to get into the bloody house, eh?

You really want to keep coming back here?

More conversations through the letterbox?

(bailiff sighs)

- This fella of yours, Pauline,

not nearly as big a prick as you said he was.

(midtempo rock music)

- Everybody's dancing.

Sit down, sit down next to me

- I've got two left feet.

- You're a footballer! - I was a footballer.

Well, sort of.

And surprisingly,

dance moves were never part of the training regime.

I'd embarrass you.

- I might embarrass you.

Now I'm relieved to hear

That you been to some far out places

It's hard to carry on

When you feel all alone

Now I've swung back down again

(Lisa laughing)

I hadn't seen such riches

- How about it then?

- How about what?

- You and me?

- I don't think so.

- If you're looking for Greg, he's left.

- Already?

Why would he wanna?

Was he on his own?

- Ah.

I couldn't say.

- One dance.

Those who've found their touched by madness

Sit down next to me

Those who find themselves ridiculous

Sit down next to me

I love in fear in hate

- Dad, what I said before--

- [Barry] It's all right, love.

- No, it sounded like I just wanted Mum back

just to sort my house out.

- You do, don't you?

- No.

Well, yeah, yeah I do, but I just miss her.

- I know, flower, believe me, I know.

I miss her, too.

And I only left her this morning.

- Shall we have a dance?

- I'd be honored.

Sit down, sit down, sit down

Sit down next to me

- What do you think you're doing?

- What is going on?

(drink splashes) (group gasps)

- Dan.

- How dare you say something like that to me?

Who do you think you are?

- Oh, come off it, you're not exactly prude of Britain,

I'm sure you've heard worse.

I was trying to cheer you up.

- Oh, I know what you were trying to do.

The same thing you were trying to do the other night.

You just, you can't help yourself, can you?

(Jack laughing) We are done.

Consider this your termination.

- Oh, maybe you'd like to run that one by our boss?

(somber music)

- What did you mean the other night?

- Oh this isn't the first time he's tried it on with me.

- Jesus Christ. - In fact,

I'm not the first person he's tried it on with.

- This is unbelievable!

Tried it on, what are we, teenagers?

Come on, man, tell her.

- No.

She's right, it's not on.

You can't behave like that, not with people you work with.

- Really?

- Somebody always gets hurt.

- Thanks for that, because, naturally,

you'd always be the first person I'd turn to for advice

on office relations.

- Yeah all right, steady on mate.

- You're not a very nice person.

- No?

Why not?

What have I done, sum it up for me.

Anyone?

What about you?

I'm sure you've got a take on it.

You're never very shy about coming forward.

- Hey, I think you better leave, son.

- You don't even know what this is about.

Would you like to?

- Jack, please.

- Not really, just go.

- Can I hit him? - No.

- Please. - No.

- You do know you're all completely mental, don't you?

Seriously, what's the view like from up there

on your high horses?

Because from where I am standing,

all I see is simpletons, cowards, bimbos,

and sad, naive husbands

whose wives keep chasing after something better

then blame everyone else when they get it.

- Oi!

I don't care if you wanna tell lies about me or Shelley

or god knows who else.

But to slag off my family and friends.

Who do you think you are, eh?

Ever since you moved in,

all you've done is mess with people's feelings.

- Oh, so basically, what you're saying is

there were feelings?

- Dan.

I've changed my mind, feel free.

- Do you know what?

He's not worth it.

(Jack laughing) But whatever.

(hit smacks) (group gasps)

(somber blues music)

- All right, Jack?

- Rude.

(group applauding)

- How did that feel?

- Good.

- You've hurt your hand haven't you?

- Yeah, I really did.

(Dan groans)

- I'm sorry again we had to leave early.

It's that bubbly wine, doesn't half knock me for seven.

- It's fine.

Anyway, I think I've had enough excitement for one day.

Is it always like that round here?

- You get used to it.

- Yeah?

Good, good.

Because I'm planning on hanging around.

- I had a wonderful time.

- Me too.

- You did enjoy--

- Bianca, I don't want you to--

- To what?

- Like I said, I'm going nowhere.

There'll be other times.

- Will there?

- Goodnight, Bianca.

- Chris, this was a date, wasn't it?

Because, if it wasn't, if I'm just being--

- You're not.

You're not just being, Bianca.

I promise.

(lively rock music)

- You lost mine, where's my hat.

- All right, Barry, go on.

- Come on. - Barry wins.

Stand back, stand back.

Watch this.

(balls clatter) (group cheering)

- Stand him up again.

(women laughing)

22, psycho for sex and glue

Lost it to Bostik

Shave heads rave heads on the pill

Got too much time to kill

- It's ready.

Here they come the beautiful ones

The beautiful ones

La da da da

Here they come

(group chattering) The beautiful ones

The beautiful ones

La da da da da

La la loved up, doved up, hung around

Stuck in a lonely town

Shaking their meat to the beat

Oh high on diesel gasoline

Cycle the drum machine

Shaking their bits to the hits

Oh here they come

The beautiful ones

The beautiful ones

(midtempo jazz music)