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1
00:00:02,953 --> 00:00:04,386
BOTH: Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, yeah!
2
00:00:04,388 --> 00:00:06,111
(whoops)
3
00:00:06,136 --> 00:00:07,343
Oh, this is the life, huh?
4
00:00:07,368 --> 00:00:08,953
A couple beers, game on TV.
5
00:00:08,978 --> 00:00:10,403
Yeah, I opened a bottle of wine
6
00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:11,428
in the kitchen for the ladies.
7
00:00:11,453 --> 00:00:13,720
They should be good for an hour.
8
00:00:14,599 --> 00:00:16,265
More like a half hour.
9
00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:20,837
Yeah, I may need to feed the meter.
10
00:00:21,425 --> 00:00:23,539
Change the channel, we want
to watch that dancing show.
11
00:00:23,541 --> 00:00:25,988
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
12
00:00:26,013 --> 00:00:28,246
Daddy and Uncle Don
are watching football.
13
00:00:28,446 --> 00:00:30,179
So no talking.
14
00:00:32,571 --> 00:00:33,570
Who's that guy?
15
00:00:33,572 --> 00:00:35,639
Teddy, that's talking.
16
00:00:35,935 --> 00:00:37,605
Commercial! Switch it
to the dancing show.
17
00:00:37,630 --> 00:00:40,477
No, no, if I switch
it, it'll never go back.
18
00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:41,648
I used that trick on your mother
19
00:00:41,673 --> 00:00:43,205
during the Royal Wedding.
20
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:44,759
Just watch
21
00:00:44,784 --> 00:00:46,227
- the commercials.
- That's right.
22
00:00:46,252 --> 00:00:48,519
- It's good for the economy.
- Mm.
23
00:00:50,275 --> 00:00:54,011
Hey, look, that old guy
just took a blue pill.
24
00:00:55,661 --> 00:00:57,540
And now that lady likes him.
25
00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:03,434
What kind of pill is that, Uncle Don?
26
00:01:07,873 --> 00:01:10,641
Oh, it's a magical pill.
27
00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:15,145
What does it do?
28
00:01:19,056 --> 00:01:21,190
- And we're out.
- Yep.
29
00:01:23,196 --> 00:01:24,663
Okay, remember the blue pill.
30
00:01:24,665 --> 00:01:26,064
We can use that again.
31
00:01:27,369 --> 00:01:28,861
Oh, hey, we had a great idea.
32
00:01:28,886 --> 00:01:29,904
We're starting a book club.
33
00:01:29,929 --> 00:01:30,895
Yeah, you want to hear about it?
34
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,120
Keep walking, keep walking.
35
00:01:35,008 --> 00:01:36,841
Well, this isn't so bad.
36
00:01:36,843 --> 00:01:38,755
We can still see the game
through our neighbor's window.
37
00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:39,845
Yeah.
38
00:01:40,486 --> 00:01:42,247
And old man Ferguson
39
00:01:42,249 --> 00:01:44,783
isn't wearing pants.
40
00:01:44,785 --> 00:01:46,744
Neither is Mrs. Ferguson.
41
00:01:48,205 --> 00:01:49,640
Maybe just go ahead and turn this way
42
00:01:49,665 --> 00:01:51,356
- for a little while.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
43
00:01:51,358 --> 00:01:53,525
You know, I can't believe
we're stuck out here.
44
00:01:53,527 --> 00:01:55,093
We need a place to hang.
45
00:01:55,095 --> 00:01:56,461
You know, nothing fancy.
46
00:01:56,463 --> 00:01:58,193
Just a place with some walls
47
00:01:58,218 --> 00:01:59,597
where we can look in any direction
48
00:01:59,599 --> 00:02:01,099
and not be scarred for life.
49
00:02:02,314 --> 00:02:04,773
Hey... why don't we fix up your garage?
50
00:02:04,798 --> 00:02:05,749
It'd be perfect.
51
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,817
Don, don't even bother.
52
00:02:11,289 --> 00:02:13,256
Our problem may be solved after all.
53
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,825
Looks like your wife's
packing up to leave you.
54
00:02:17,362 --> 00:02:18,595
No, she just...
55
00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:20,582
she just never throws
anything away, ever.
56
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,198
All right, come on, let's just
start throwing this junk out.
57
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,637
No, no, no, no, we can't.
58
00:02:23,662 --> 00:02:25,070
Andi will lose her mind.
59
00:02:25,095 --> 00:02:26,871
There'd be a lot of yelling.
60
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,190
But you won't hear it,
'cause you'll be out here.
61
00:02:30,425 --> 00:02:32,776
Besides, you worked your butt
off when she went back to work.
62
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,010
Where's your payback?
63
00:02:34,012 --> 00:02:35,278
Well, my payback is supposed to be
64
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,980
spending more time with the kids.
65
00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:39,516
She made it sound like a fun thing.
66
00:02:39,518 --> 00:02:41,184
Think about what we could do out here.
67
00:02:41,186 --> 00:02:43,353
We could get an old
motorcycle and fix it up.
68
00:02:43,355 --> 00:02:45,221
Like we used to do in high school.
69
00:02:45,223 --> 00:02:46,489
Yeah, come on, let's do it.
70
00:02:46,491 --> 00:02:48,224
Tell Andi to get her stuff out of here.
71
00:02:48,226 --> 00:02:50,372
Yeah, yeah, she doesn't get to decide.
72
00:02:50,397 --> 00:02:51,705
No, sir, she does not!
73
00:02:51,730 --> 00:02:52,781
No, I decide.
74
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,608
And I've decided we're doing it.
75
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:55,699
- Damn straight.
- Yeah!
76
00:02:55,701 --> 00:02:56,933
Andi needs to know
77
00:02:56,935 --> 00:02:59,423
that the garage is a man's place.
78
00:02:59,448 --> 00:03:01,643
- What's that, honey?
- Oh, uh, nothing, sweetie.
79
00:03:01,668 --> 00:03:03,367
Drinky-drinky, love you.
80
00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:20,605
Okay, Andi, when you look at this...
81
00:03:21,622 --> 00:03:23,208
how do you feel?
82
00:03:24,314 --> 00:03:25,399
I love it.
83
00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:28,366
These are our memories.
84
00:03:28,391 --> 00:03:31,251
It makes me feel safe and warm.
85
00:03:31,276 --> 00:03:32,657
It might make you feel warm 'cause
86
00:03:32,682 --> 00:03:35,098
it's a fire hazard.
87
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:37,329
I say we clean all
this stuff out of here
88
00:03:37,354 --> 00:03:39,536
so Don and I can have a hangout and,
89
00:03:39,764 --> 00:03:42,936
I don't know, maybe
rebuild an old motorcycle.
90
00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:46,795
You have got to be kidding me.
91
00:03:46,820 --> 00:03:48,757
You... you want me to
throw out all my stuff
92
00:03:48,782 --> 00:03:51,448
so you and your brother
can have a motorcycle fort?
93
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:54,365
Well, we're not calling it that.
94
00:03:54,390 --> 00:03:55,992
Look, you told me when you went
95
00:03:56,017 --> 00:03:57,850
back to work I'd get
more time with the kids,
96
00:03:57,852 --> 00:03:59,251
and that would be a fun thing.
97
00:03:59,253 --> 00:04:01,086
Can we both agree
98
00:04:01,088 --> 00:04:03,055
that that was a lie?
99
00:04:03,584 --> 00:04:04,890
Yes, that was a lie.
100
00:04:05,262 --> 00:04:08,137
I just, I need a spot to decompress.
101
00:04:08,162 --> 00:04:09,962
You already have the bathroom.
102
00:04:09,964 --> 00:04:11,743
Every time I go in there,
103
00:04:11,768 --> 00:04:13,968
Emme sings to me through the door.
104
00:04:14,068 --> 00:04:15,797
Now, whenever I hear
"The Wheels on the Bus,"
105
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,822
it triggers something.
106
00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:21,907
Look, Andi, I'm asking
you to do this for me.
107
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:23,909
Fine.
108
00:04:23,911 --> 00:04:25,311
Let's try and clean this place out,
109
00:04:25,313 --> 00:04:28,514
so you can have your dork fort.
110
00:04:28,516 --> 00:04:30,816
Great, but we're not
calling it that, either.
111
00:04:31,278 --> 00:04:34,787
Okay, first up is,
uh... okay, camping gear.
112
00:04:34,789 --> 00:04:38,757
Huh? Only used once. Total disaster.
113
00:04:38,759 --> 00:04:41,537
Teddy ate too many s'mores,
and then he threw up.
114
00:04:41,562 --> 00:04:43,295
Then Emme saw his throw-up,
115
00:04:43,431 --> 00:04:44,897
and then she threw up.
116
00:04:44,899 --> 00:04:48,434
And then Katie fainted
into the throw-up.
117
00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:51,070
See, that is a great family story,
118
00:04:51,072 --> 00:04:53,425
which you remembered because
you saw the camping gear.
119
00:04:53,450 --> 00:04:54,473
It stays.
120
00:04:55,497 --> 00:04:56,875
Okay, uh...
121
00:04:57,373 --> 00:04:58,692
Okay, this should be easy.
122
00:04:58,717 --> 00:05:00,036
No one could possibly care about
123
00:05:00,061 --> 00:05:01,947
- a giant container of wine corks.
- (gasps)
124
00:05:01,972 --> 00:05:03,525
My corks!
125
00:05:05,502 --> 00:05:07,686
Martha Stewart has all
kinds of ideas for these.
126
00:05:07,688 --> 00:05:09,590
I'm gonna make a
wine-cork collage someday.
127
00:05:09,615 --> 00:05:11,849
Is it gonna be a picture of you
passed out on the kitchen table?
128
00:05:15,341 --> 00:05:17,678
Okay, so, six hours of work,
129
00:05:17,703 --> 00:05:19,102
and the only thing that left the garage
130
00:05:19,127 --> 00:05:21,427
was a cricket that
hopped out on its own.
131
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:24,747
Honey, I think you might
be like one of those people
132
00:05:24,772 --> 00:05:26,407
on that TV show you make me watch.
133
00:05:26,432 --> 00:05:28,807
Don't say Hoarders.
I am not a hoarder.
134
00:05:29,837 --> 00:05:32,180
I love you too much to
say the name of the show
135
00:05:32,205 --> 00:05:34,405
that describes you perfectly.
136
00:05:37,008 --> 00:05:38,183
Honey,
137
00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:41,351
the other night, I was
banished to the driveway.
138
00:05:41,376 --> 00:05:44,837
And Don and I witnessed
Mr. and Mrs. Ferguson
139
00:05:44,862 --> 00:05:47,593
making old, grey,
140
00:05:47,595 --> 00:05:50,829
surprisingly agile love.
141
00:05:51,357 --> 00:05:54,066
Is your stuff really worth all that?
142
00:05:54,068 --> 00:05:55,913
I know you want me to say no.
143
00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,371
Oh, come on, Andi.
144
00:05:57,678 --> 00:06:00,139
- Most of it's just junk.
- Okay, but...
145
00:06:00,141 --> 00:06:02,107
what if while we're
throwing out the junk,
146
00:06:02,109 --> 00:06:04,076
we accidentally throw
out something important?
147
00:06:04,078 --> 00:06:06,411
You see, the junk keeps all
the important stuff safe.
148
00:06:06,436 --> 00:06:08,029
It's like padding.
149
00:06:10,350 --> 00:06:12,017
Yeah. You know, uh...
150
00:06:12,626 --> 00:06:13,852
before we got married,
151
00:06:13,854 --> 00:06:16,091
your dad wanted to have
a little talk with me.
152
00:06:16,116 --> 00:06:18,855
And I never did it, and now
I know what it was about.
153
00:06:21,362 --> 00:06:22,698
Look, I want to do this.
154
00:06:22,723 --> 00:06:24,063
I want you to have your own space.
155
00:06:24,088 --> 00:06:26,244
It's just... it's really hard for me.
156
00:06:26,269 --> 00:06:28,609
Then let me make this easy.
I'll clean out the garage
157
00:06:28,634 --> 00:06:30,868
on my own, and you don't
have to worry about a thing.
158
00:06:31,005 --> 00:06:32,938
(scoffs) You would have
no idea what to throw away
159
00:06:32,940 --> 00:06:33,794
and what to keep.
160
00:06:33,819 --> 00:06:35,052
Well, don't you trust me?
161
00:06:35,077 --> 00:06:36,710
No! Not at all.
162
00:06:37,910 --> 00:06:38,570
I'm sorry.
163
00:06:38,595 --> 00:06:39,916
Have I been unclear?
164
00:06:41,247 --> 00:06:44,815
Wow. Hoarders are mean.
165
00:06:45,632 --> 00:06:47,666
Honey, I'm sorry, okay?
166
00:06:47,754 --> 00:06:50,154
Look, (sighs) I clearly have a problem.
167
00:06:50,156 --> 00:06:54,355
We... Well, that's very
brave of you to admit.
168
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:55,730
And I think the only way out of this...
169
00:06:55,755 --> 00:06:57,421
I mean, as far as I can see...
170
00:06:57,663 --> 00:06:59,597
is that, uh, we meet back here
171
00:06:59,599 --> 00:07:01,899
in a year and continue this discussion.
172
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,527
If you have a minute,
I'd like to talk more
173
00:07:09,552 --> 00:07:11,263
about this blue pill?
174
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,491
Let's meet back here in a
year, and we'll talk about it.
175
00:07:26,504 --> 00:07:28,790
So, Andi didn't want us
cleaning out the garage,
176
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,081
and we're doing it anyway?
177
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,618
No, no. She does want it.
178
00:07:31,643 --> 00:07:33,318
She just doesn't know she wants it.
179
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,901
Like, when she threw out my cargo pants.
180
00:07:34,926 --> 00:07:36,755
Oh, don't tell the cargo
pants story again, please.
181
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:39,462
- I love my cargo pants.
- (groans)
182
00:07:39,548 --> 00:07:41,683
So many pockets, and zippers,
183
00:07:41,708 --> 00:07:45,000
and snaps and Velcro, and
I had them in every color.
184
00:07:45,025 --> 00:07:47,859
I had them in light
khaki, dark khaki, khaki.
185
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,769
I had them in tan, light tan, dark tan.
186
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:53,471
And then one day, Andi
just threw them away.
187
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,875
And at first, I was
mad. But then I noticed,
188
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:59,778
I wasn't getting caught
on doorknobs anymore.
189
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:02,447
Literally, the most boring story ever.
190
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,745
My point is she helped me,
191
00:08:04,770 --> 00:08:06,348
even though I didn't know I needed help,
192
00:08:06,373 --> 00:08:07,685
and now I'm helping her.
193
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:10,221
And if I'm careful, and
I save the right stuff,
194
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:11,890
I'm sure she'll be happy.
195
00:08:12,154 --> 00:08:13,858
If you're so sure, why
are we sneaking around
196
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:15,193
while she's at book club?
197
00:08:15,790 --> 00:08:16,700
Because I'm not sure.
198
00:08:16,725 --> 00:08:18,291
I'm just doing it anyway.
199
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,474
Oh! Check it out!
200
00:08:21,499 --> 00:08:24,036
Motorcycle's coming today.
Wait till you see it.
201
00:08:24,061 --> 00:08:26,591
A '61 Triumph, just like
the kind Steve McQueen had.
202
00:08:26,616 --> 00:08:27,846
- Whoa.
- Yeah?
203
00:08:27,871 --> 00:08:29,117
You know what that makes us?
204
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,995
Exactly as cool as Steve McQueen.
205
00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:33,211
Oh, spider web, spider web.
206
00:08:33,236 --> 00:08:36,370
Oh! Spider! Spider! Don, get it.
207
00:08:36,395 --> 00:08:37,340
Get it together.
208
00:08:37,365 --> 00:08:38,848
We're motorcycle people now.
209
00:08:38,873 --> 00:08:40,926
- Yeah.
- All right, we got a lot of boxes here
210
00:08:40,951 --> 00:08:42,487
with old clothes... what do
you want me to do with these?
211
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:43,510
- (sighs)
- Keep or donate?
212
00:08:43,535 --> 00:08:45,434
I don't know. This is taking too long.
213
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:47,692
We got to be done by the time
Andi gets back, so just...
214
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,654
donate, donate, donate and hurry.
215
00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:51,822
I'm hurrying. If you didn't
tell that cargo pants story,
216
00:08:51,847 --> 00:08:53,262
we'd be done by now.
217
00:08:53,942 --> 00:08:55,600
I had cargo shorts, too, you know.
218
00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:57,068
Oh, I'd love to hear about that.
219
00:08:57,093 --> 00:08:58,903
- Oh, yeah, they were great.
- Oh, yeah?
220
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:01,139
- Zip-off legs, yeah.
- Oh, sweet.
221
00:09:02,905 --> 00:09:03,541
You don't think
222
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,541
this bike is me having a
mid-life crisis, do you?
223
00:09:05,566 --> 00:09:08,075
No! No, no. You're way past mid-life.
224
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:09,165
Oh, good.
225
00:09:10,163 --> 00:09:10,944
Hey.
226
00:09:10,969 --> 00:09:11,910
Hey, fellas.
227
00:09:11,935 --> 00:09:13,311
Don, you know Lowell, right?
228
00:09:13,336 --> 00:09:14,702
Sure, he's the dad from school
229
00:09:14,727 --> 00:09:17,061
who imprinted on you like a baby duck.
230
00:09:17,742 --> 00:09:20,892
Your brother's really had a
bracing, masculine effect on me.
231
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,112
Today, when my wife
232
00:09:22,137 --> 00:09:24,262
said good morning, I
just grunted at her.
233
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:25,866
It was not well received.
234
00:09:25,891 --> 00:09:27,718
Hoping I can hang here a while.
235
00:09:27,743 --> 00:09:29,876
Sure. Oh, here comes Andi.
236
00:09:29,901 --> 00:09:32,869
- Start a wine club.
- BOTH: Ooh!
237
00:09:35,031 --> 00:09:36,066
What did you do?
238
00:09:36,091 --> 00:09:37,221
Okay, before you freak out...
239
00:09:37,246 --> 00:09:38,855
No, no. What happened here?
240
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:39,867
Where's all my stuff?
241
00:09:39,892 --> 00:09:41,547
- Let me explain.
- No, no, no. You just...
242
00:09:41,572 --> 00:09:42,555
you threw it all out?
243
00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:45,083
No! Well, yeah.
244
00:09:45,896 --> 00:09:48,167
Look, I only did it because
I felt like you couldn't,
245
00:09:48,192 --> 00:09:50,221
even though you wanted
to, like our vow said,
246
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:53,057
"In sickness, and in health," and honey,
247
00:09:53,277 --> 00:09:55,010
you have a little sickness.
248
00:09:55,215 --> 00:09:56,958
I? I have a sickness.
249
00:09:56,983 --> 00:09:58,952
I have a sickness? You throw away
250
00:09:58,977 --> 00:10:00,194
- my precious memories,
- Wait, just...
251
00:10:00,219 --> 00:10:01,714
- and I have a sickness?
- I...
252
00:10:01,739 --> 00:10:03,497
I think you broke your wife.
253
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,637
I just, I can't believe it's all gone.
254
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:06,905
Well, no, not all of it.
255
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,571
No. Like, see that section over there?
256
00:10:08,596 --> 00:10:10,829
That's all corks.
257
00:10:13,242 --> 00:10:15,957
Really? I'm-I'm supposed to be
happy about corks, right now?
258
00:10:16,525 --> 00:10:17,348
Are you?
259
00:10:18,439 --> 00:10:19,884
A little.
260
00:10:20,623 --> 00:10:23,487
Look, yeah, and over
here, I made keepsake boxes
261
00:10:23,512 --> 00:10:25,023
for all the kids.
262
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:28,393
You should be even happier
about that, hopefully.
263
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:30,949
I guess that's not a bad idea.
264
00:10:30,974 --> 00:10:34,242
Yeah, yeah, tiny clothes,
tiny footprints, tiny teeth.
265
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:37,268
You name something tiny, I kept it.
266
00:10:37,819 --> 00:10:39,549
I do like tiny things.
267
00:10:39,574 --> 00:10:41,774
- That's...
- Shut up, Don.
268
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:46,344
Oh, Kate's first ice skates.
269
00:10:46,369 --> 00:10:48,414
Oh, I haven't seen these in years.
270
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,773
That's because they were buried.
271
00:10:50,909 --> 00:10:53,056
Look, I-I'm not taking
away your memories,
272
00:10:53,081 --> 00:10:54,180
I'm giving 'em back to you
273
00:10:54,205 --> 00:10:56,705
by getting rid of all the junk.
274
00:10:57,410 --> 00:10:59,090
Okay, well, I'm starting
275
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,911
to picture my life with you again.
276
00:11:01,599 --> 00:11:03,939
Good. 'Cause I was prepared
to make a run for it.
277
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,296
I got $200 bucks in my pocket
278
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:06,831
and I already kissed the kids good-bye.
279
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,500
MARIE: Hey, good for you guys.
280
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,836
I believe I was promised wine.
281
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,088
Oh, and I-I found a bunch
of stuff from our wedding.
282
00:11:16,113 --> 00:11:17,279
I know you like that day,
283
00:11:17,304 --> 00:11:18,639
'cause that's the day you got me.
284
00:11:18,664 --> 00:11:19,663
(both chuckling)
285
00:11:20,036 --> 00:11:21,202
How'd he pull that off?
286
00:11:21,227 --> 00:11:22,394
Adam Burns...
287
00:11:22,419 --> 00:11:24,147
he's all balls.
288
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,851
Oh, my God.
289
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,953
Look at these wedding pictures.
290
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,355
(gasps) Oh, ladies.
291
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,897
Paste on some fake smiles,
292
00:11:31,922 --> 00:11:34,108
I found something more
boring to do than reading.
293
00:11:34,350 --> 00:11:35,293
Oh, wait, wait.
294
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,028
Uh, what do you want me to
do with this wedding box?
295
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,197
Um, just put it with my wedding dress.
296
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,021
Your wedding dress?
297
00:11:40,046 --> 00:11:41,479
Uh, will do. (chuckles)
298
00:11:44,219 --> 00:11:45,963
What wedding dress? I
didn't see a wedding dress!
299
00:11:45,988 --> 00:11:48,306
Did you see a wedding dress?
I bet you threw it away.
300
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,540
Hey, you were the one yelling,
"Donate, donate, donate!"
301
00:11:50,565 --> 00:11:52,866
Yeah, because you said it
was just all old clothes.
302
00:11:52,891 --> 00:11:54,390
Oh, you're not taking me down for this.
303
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,014
If Marcy sees Andi yelling at you,
304
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,749
she's gonna want to yell at me.
305
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:58,820
It's animal instinct.
306
00:11:58,845 --> 00:12:00,544
Like a wolf hearing another wolf howl.
307
00:12:01,186 --> 00:12:01,866
Guys,
308
00:12:01,891 --> 00:12:02,930
guys, stop fighting.
309
00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:03,987
It's not helping anything
310
00:12:04,012 --> 00:12:05,912
and it totally excludes me.
311
00:12:06,557 --> 00:12:07,392
This is bad.
312
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:08,562
This is very, very bad.
313
00:12:08,587 --> 00:12:10,020
That wedding dress isn't in here.
314
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,596
Well, then, it must
be at the thrift store.
315
00:12:11,894 --> 00:12:12,902
You're right.
316
00:12:12,927 --> 00:12:14,721
Okay, we got to get down there
before someone else buys it.
317
00:12:14,746 --> 00:12:16,174
All right, Lowell, you tell Andi that
318
00:12:16,199 --> 00:12:17,565
Don and I had to run an errand.
319
00:12:17,590 --> 00:12:18,602
- Yeah?
- Okay. Yeah.
320
00:12:18,627 --> 00:12:20,835
I'll tell her you went
to get some loose tea.
321
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:21,796
What?
322
00:12:21,821 --> 00:12:23,294
- No!
- Hardware store?
323
00:12:23,319 --> 00:12:24,585
- Yes.
- I did it.
324
00:12:34,417 --> 00:12:35,617
Hey, uh, hi. Uh,
325
00:12:35,619 --> 00:12:36,818
where are your wedding dresses?
326
00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:38,019
I don't know.
327
00:12:38,136 --> 00:12:39,435
Do you even work here?
328
00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:41,456
Yes, but it's not my passion.
329
00:12:42,647 --> 00:12:44,726
Listen, buddy, do you have
wedding dresses or not?
330
00:12:44,728 --> 00:12:47,095
Some lady's in the
dressing room trying one on.
331
00:12:47,097 --> 00:12:48,252
You could've led with that.
332
00:12:48,277 --> 00:12:50,911
But then we wouldn't have had this.
333
00:12:52,212 --> 00:12:52,867
That's it.
334
00:12:52,869 --> 00:12:54,946
- That's the dress.
- Okay, I got this. I got this.
335
00:12:55,652 --> 00:12:57,338
Uh, ma'am?
336
00:12:57,635 --> 00:13:00,041
Hi, I'm a little bit of an
expert on wedding dresses.
337
00:13:00,043 --> 00:13:01,509
And I got to say,
338
00:13:01,628 --> 00:13:03,728
if I'm at the alter, watching
that thing come at me,
339
00:13:03,753 --> 00:13:06,254
I'm gonna throw myself
through a stained glass window.
340
00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:08,258
Excuse me?
341
00:13:08,283 --> 00:13:10,576
Yeah, uh-uh, look, I have
to apologize for my brother.
342
00:13:10,601 --> 00:13:11,853
What he meant to say was,
343
00:13:11,855 --> 00:13:13,755
you're way too pretty for that dress.
344
00:13:13,757 --> 00:13:15,657
Well, you're too ugly for that shirt.
345
00:13:16,988 --> 00:13:18,693
Hey, I-I said something nice.
346
00:13:19,336 --> 00:13:20,569
Look, sunshine,
347
00:13:21,109 --> 00:13:22,987
you seem like an unhappy
person in general,
348
00:13:23,012 --> 00:13:25,533
you throw marriage in the mix,
it's only downhill from there.
349
00:13:26,314 --> 00:13:27,204
Okay, ma'am, look,
350
00:13:27,229 --> 00:13:28,812
I-I made a terrible mistake.
351
00:13:28,837 --> 00:13:30,805
First of all, I brought my brother here.
352
00:13:30,807 --> 00:13:32,473
Hey, what's up?
353
00:13:33,610 --> 00:13:35,805
And-and-and second, I accidentally
354
00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:37,786
donated my wife's wedding dress
355
00:13:37,811 --> 00:13:38,818
and you're wearing it.
356
00:13:38,843 --> 00:13:40,300
And it means the world to her
357
00:13:40,325 --> 00:13:41,950
and she means the world to me.
358
00:13:41,952 --> 00:13:43,651
So I-I need it back.
359
00:13:44,025 --> 00:13:46,567
Oh, that's so sweet.
360
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:48,289
I mean, I'd be happy to give it you
361
00:13:48,291 --> 00:13:50,291
for $500.
362
00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:53,061
You really think
extortion is gonna work?
363
00:13:53,063 --> 00:13:55,897
How do you think I got
this ring on my finger?
364
00:13:56,672 --> 00:13:58,046
I take back what I said.
365
00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:00,401
You're going to enjoy
marriage very much.
366
00:14:02,038 --> 00:14:03,545
Oh God, I forgot how much
367
00:14:03,570 --> 00:14:04,955
I love that dress.
368
00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:08,681
Oh, I could show you a picture
of what I wore to my divorce.
369
00:14:09,968 --> 00:14:11,336
Or I could just put on a bathrobe,
370
00:14:11,361 --> 00:14:12,771
and you'd get it.
371
00:14:13,626 --> 00:14:15,049
Hey, do you guys want to see my dress?
372
00:14:15,051 --> 00:14:16,084
Uh!
373
00:14:18,788 --> 00:14:19,821
Lowell, are you okay?
374
00:14:20,309 --> 00:14:21,656
Never better.
375
00:14:22,184 --> 00:14:23,191
Okay, well I'll go get it.
376
00:14:23,193 --> 00:14:25,426
No, no! You can't go out there!
377
00:14:26,402 --> 00:14:28,229
W-What are you doing?
378
00:14:28,231 --> 00:14:29,416
I'm just going upstairs
379
00:14:29,441 --> 00:14:31,208
to get my dress out of the closet.
380
00:14:33,003 --> 00:14:34,302
It's in your closet?
381
00:14:34,857 --> 00:14:36,337
Of course, it's in a box on a shelf,
382
00:14:36,339 --> 00:14:37,658
where it's been for 15 years.
383
00:14:37,683 --> 00:14:40,050
What? What is going on, Lowell?
384
00:14:43,136 --> 00:14:44,278
Nothing.
385
00:14:48,049 --> 00:14:49,617
Doesn't seem like nothing.
386
00:14:51,021 --> 00:14:52,453
Is it something Adam did?
387
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,423
Something Don did?
388
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,127
Something Adam and Don did?
389
00:15:00,397 --> 00:15:02,964
Nope. Nothing to report.
390
00:15:10,306 --> 00:15:12,273
This man's a liar.
391
00:15:14,145 --> 00:15:15,343
Yeah, are you gonna tell us, Lowell,
392
00:15:15,345 --> 00:15:17,166
or am I gonna let
Marcy get it out of you?
393
00:15:17,191 --> 00:15:18,446
Fine.
394
00:15:18,448 --> 00:15:20,228
Adam thinks he donated
your wedding dress
395
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,315
while he was cleaning out the garage,
396
00:15:21,317 --> 00:15:22,984
so he went to the thrift
store to buy your dress back,
397
00:15:22,986 --> 00:15:23,985
but I guess it's not your dress
398
00:15:23,987 --> 00:15:25,941
since your actual dress is upstairs.
399
00:15:26,074 --> 00:15:28,222
Whew. I feel light as a feather.
400
00:15:30,292 --> 00:15:31,426
So Adam lied to me.
401
00:15:32,326 --> 00:15:33,795
I should go.
402
00:15:35,404 --> 00:15:36,230
Um...
403
00:15:36,232 --> 00:15:38,199
totally unrelated...
404
00:15:38,325 --> 00:15:41,560
anyone know where the thrift store is?
405
00:15:43,873 --> 00:15:45,673
I'll figure it out.
406
00:15:46,876 --> 00:15:49,500
Okay, I got $282 here.
407
00:15:49,525 --> 00:15:50,445
Is that enough for you?
408
00:15:50,447 --> 00:15:53,614
Let's make it $284.
409
00:15:54,918 --> 00:15:57,952
Sold... to the bad husband
with the hot brother.
410
00:16:00,290 --> 00:16:01,689
Accidentally hooked her.
411
00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:03,996
I can't believe it...
I got the dress back!
412
00:16:04,699 --> 00:16:06,390
Hey, do you guys mind watching the store
413
00:16:06,415 --> 00:16:07,748
while I grab a taco?
414
00:16:10,475 --> 00:16:12,038
- Yeah, sure, man, okay.
- Yeah.
415
00:16:18,212 --> 00:16:19,941
I can't believe I pulled this off.
416
00:16:19,943 --> 00:16:21,556
Yeah, it's a shame you
won't get any credit
417
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:22,909
- for your hard work.
- What?
418
00:16:22,934 --> 00:16:23,678
Always remember,
419
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:24,746
there's nothing more important
420
00:16:24,748 --> 00:16:26,647
in a marriage than keeping score.
421
00:16:32,222 --> 00:16:33,454
(groans)
422
00:16:34,042 --> 00:16:35,890
Hello, boys.
423
00:16:37,966 --> 00:16:40,161
And that's game over.
424
00:16:42,314 --> 00:16:43,541
Adam!
425
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,568
Did a handsome man come in here
looking for a wedding dress?
426
00:16:46,593 --> 00:16:47,769
You just missed him.
427
00:16:47,771 --> 00:16:50,671
But I'll buy those red
pants for two dollars.
428
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,236
What a weird day.
429
00:16:56,290 --> 00:16:58,145
Let me get the chain of events straight.
430
00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:01,449
So, you went behind my
back and you did something
431
00:17:01,474 --> 00:17:03,117
you knew I didn't want you to do.
432
00:17:03,251 --> 00:17:05,948
Yup, I-I did do that,
but in my defense,
433
00:17:05,973 --> 00:17:07,761
you did the exact same
thing to me with my...
434
00:17:07,786 --> 00:17:09,653
Don't you dare say cargo pants.
435
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:13,150
Multipocketed trousers.
436
00:17:14,861 --> 00:17:15,663
And then,
437
00:17:15,688 --> 00:17:18,662
when you thought you threw
away my wedding dress,
438
00:17:18,687 --> 00:17:19,534
you lied to me.
439
00:17:19,536 --> 00:17:20,768
Look, this didn't work out
440
00:17:20,770 --> 00:17:22,403
great for me, either, you know.
441
00:17:22,405 --> 00:17:25,206
I spent $280 on the wrong dress.
442
00:17:25,909 --> 00:17:27,108
That was my getaway money.
443
00:17:27,110 --> 00:17:29,076
I could really use that right now.
444
00:17:30,487 --> 00:17:31,690
See, this is why we need
445
00:17:31,715 --> 00:17:32,660
to keep our things,
446
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:34,806
so we can be reminded
of, oh, I don't know,
447
00:17:34,831 --> 00:17:36,150
what my wedding dress looks like.
448
00:17:36,152 --> 00:17:37,479
I mean, does your...
449
00:17:37,504 --> 00:17:39,192
thrift store dress
450
00:17:39,217 --> 00:17:41,484
look anything like this?
451
00:17:49,196 --> 00:17:50,431
No.
452
00:17:53,118 --> 00:17:55,403
I can't believe I lost my wedding dress.
453
00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:57,538
I am a hoarder.
454
00:17:58,628 --> 00:18:00,495
Don't be so hard on yourself.
455
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:03,177
Literally everyone in this room
456
00:18:03,179 --> 00:18:05,813
has lost your wedding dress
at one time or another.
457
00:18:07,538 --> 00:18:08,711
Okay, wait a minute.
458
00:18:08,736 --> 00:18:10,836
Now, if-if my dress
box was full of corks,
459
00:18:11,087 --> 00:18:12,687
that means I took the dress out
460
00:18:13,071 --> 00:18:14,822
and I put it where the corks were...
461
00:18:14,949 --> 00:18:16,618
which was in the garage.
462
00:18:16,813 --> 00:18:17,458
So...
463
00:18:17,736 --> 00:18:19,346
you did donate my dress
464
00:18:19,371 --> 00:18:20,064
and that means
465
00:18:20,089 --> 00:18:21,671
in this bag is...
466
00:18:22,356 --> 00:18:24,832
still not my dress!
467
00:18:25,746 --> 00:18:27,735
How is this possible?
468
00:18:28,337 --> 00:18:29,140
Ugh.
469
00:18:29,165 --> 00:18:30,171
(sighs)
470
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:32,640
So, you don't have the dress.
471
00:18:32,941 --> 00:18:34,697
Now, come on, it's just a thing.
472
00:18:35,056 --> 00:18:36,544
Huh? And...
473
00:18:36,732 --> 00:18:37,913
things don't matter
474
00:18:37,938 --> 00:18:39,942
because we have our memories.
475
00:18:40,137 --> 00:18:41,172
Huh? I remember
476
00:18:41,197 --> 00:18:43,184
everything about our wedding day.
477
00:18:43,799 --> 00:18:45,119
You do?
478
00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:46,803
How could I forget?
479
00:18:47,789 --> 00:18:49,688
The way you wore your hair with those...
480
00:18:50,007 --> 00:18:51,525
little yellow flowers in it.
481
00:18:51,527 --> 00:18:53,594
(chuckles) Mm, white flowers.
482
00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,863
I remember our first dance.
483
00:18:55,989 --> 00:18:57,558
"Faithfully" by Journey.
484
00:18:57,583 --> 00:18:59,634
"Witchcraft," Sinatra.
485
00:19:00,103 --> 00:19:01,753
I remember the way you smiled at me
486
00:19:01,778 --> 00:19:03,890
- when your cousin dropped the rings.
- (chuckles)
487
00:19:03,915 --> 00:19:05,948
That was a movie.
488
00:19:07,434 --> 00:19:09,210
We got married, right?
489
00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:14,448
It's okay, you don't
have to remember, I do.
490
00:19:14,693 --> 00:19:15,950
Yes, yes, you do.
491
00:19:15,952 --> 00:19:17,652
You remember everything.
492
00:19:18,070 --> 00:19:18,992
That's why you don't
493
00:19:19,017 --> 00:19:20,121
need the dress
494
00:19:20,123 --> 00:19:22,323
or any of that other stuff.
495
00:19:22,885 --> 00:19:24,583
Your brain is like
496
00:19:24,608 --> 00:19:26,958
our garage full of boxes.
497
00:19:30,090 --> 00:19:32,266
All right? Come on, that's...
498
00:19:32,541 --> 00:19:35,909
that is pretty romantic, right?
499
00:19:37,270 --> 00:19:39,707
It is when you say it, for some reason.
500
00:19:40,443 --> 00:19:41,902
Oh, and here's another thing
501
00:19:41,927 --> 00:19:44,994
I know for sure happened
on our wedding day.
502
00:19:45,397 --> 00:19:47,488
You looked beautiful
503
00:19:47,513 --> 00:19:48,449
and I...
504
00:19:48,451 --> 00:19:50,718
was the luckiest man in the world.
505
00:19:51,335 --> 00:19:52,653
I did.
506
00:19:52,922 --> 00:19:54,588
And you are.
507
00:19:55,380 --> 00:19:56,390
(rapid knocking)
508
00:19:56,392 --> 00:19:58,132
She knows about the dress!
509
00:19:58,157 --> 00:19:59,890
Run!
510
00:20:09,029 --> 00:20:11,150
Okay, now, remember, lefty loosey,
511
00:20:11,175 --> 00:20:12,671
righty tighty and always
512
00:20:12,696 --> 00:20:14,388
always double-check
513
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:15,467
Uncle Don's work.
514
00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:17,264
He's right about that.
515
00:20:17,266 --> 00:20:18,365
I've been turning the same bolt
516
00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:20,457
for about five minutes.
517
00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:22,869
What can I do?
518
00:20:22,871 --> 00:20:25,150
Uh, you can find Daddy a rag.
519
00:20:25,175 --> 00:20:26,118
Okay.
520
00:20:27,892 --> 00:20:29,182
This is gonna be a nice bike.
521
00:20:29,207 --> 00:20:30,225
Yeah, yeah.
522
00:20:30,250 --> 00:20:31,238
Now, guys that ride these
523
00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:32,689
are usually super cool
524
00:20:32,714 --> 00:20:34,182
and good-looking...
525
00:20:34,207 --> 00:20:36,374
and you're absolutely
forbidden to date them.
526
00:20:36,896 --> 00:20:39,219
Eh, I would never date
a guy with a motorcycle.
527
00:20:39,470 --> 00:20:41,259
- But I do kind of like this one guy.
- Mm-hmm?
528
00:20:41,284 --> 00:20:42,583
He's the smartest kid in our class.
529
00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:44,318
Ha-ha, nerd.
530
00:20:45,716 --> 00:20:47,927
Keep turning your bolt there, Don.
531
00:20:48,078 --> 00:20:49,752
Oh, thanks, honey.
532
00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:51,827
So, tell me more about this boy.
533
00:20:51,852 --> 00:20:53,851
Oh, well, he's really cool.
534
00:20:53,876 --> 00:20:54,897
- Yeah, he...
- He's really ni...
535
00:20:54,922 --> 00:20:55,999
(gasps)
536
00:20:57,117 --> 00:20:59,906
This is Mommy's wedding dress.
537
00:21:00,213 --> 00:21:01,526
Where did you find this?
538
00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:03,751
In that box that says corks.
539
00:21:05,782 --> 00:21:10,782
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- www.addic7ed.com -
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