All language subtitles for Les Egouts Du Paradis (1979)

My name is Spaggiari,
Albert Spaggiari.

I come from a long line of drifters
from southern France.

I live by my wits. I used to keep
to the middle of the road.

But the road became too narrow.

As this story begins,
I was working as a photographer in Nice.

THE SEWERS OF PARADISE

It had been years since I'd seen him.

He was called "68"
due to May 1968

when he distinguished himself.

An arts student,
top of his class,

he had hoped for so much,
especially a better world.

The result was one student less
and one sucker more.

In France, revolution begins with poets
and ends with yes-men.

Ludwig! Stuka!

Come here.

Bars on the windows?

It's an old military outpost,
disused for 50 years.

The bars make me laugh.

You know what this place
reminds me of?

Yes. I know.

Not a bad place.

I've started fixing it up myself.

It gives me something to do.
Good morning, Mr Lemoigne.

Ludwig, Stuka. Come on, boy.

So Nicaragua doesn't appeal to you?

Not any more.

Adventure means something else
to me now.

The shop, calculating taxes,
social security payments...

In short, the poetry
of the cash balance.

Did you sleep well?

Are there any wild pigs around here?

All ready to go, with my rifle,
cartridges and on my hunting grounds!

You're joining the middle class.

No.

I have a mission to accomplish.

It's true that freeing chimpanzees
is a calling like any other.

So, Bert, it's really over?

No more travelling?

I crossed the desert with my girl,
in a Land Rover, a 22,000-km journey.

- Your girl?
- My wife.

Sometimes the autumn evenings
are a little too long.

There's always the TV.

Or else you could
just discuss the weather.

You can still write to me
at Fat Pierrot's place.

I'm sure to turn up there.

Although a letter from you...

That would be a first!

To think that, like a whore, I've marked
out five metres of footpath for myself.

Some weekends there's up to
400,000,000 francs in the vault.

- That much?
- Who is the Duval for?

- One for me.
- And me.

- Close to 100,000,000 dollars!
- What a huge amount!

What with the deposits from the
department stores and other takings...

And don't forget the 4,000 safe deposit
boxes there as well!

It's simple. All that's needed
is to dig a tunnel.

Six metres. Right up to vault wall.

Perfect. Here you are.

Mr Langlois, please escort
the gentleman to the vault.

This way please, sir.

- You're not depositing anything?
- I'm just visiting. I'll do it later.

When I first met her, I was raising
for money for a nationalist movement.

Money wasted on a lost cause.

She told me, "Don't ask for money,
either earn it or steal it!"

I knew her in Algiers
during the last days.

She made bombs in her cellar.
In Indochina she did the same thing.

Her name is Charlotte. I like her a lot.

- Bert!
- Offer me something cool to drink.

Yes, I'd probably accept
something sparkling in a large glass.

- You still don't drink?
- Me? Sure. I'm toasting an idea.

It's a crazy idea. We'll drink to it
together, my rational friend.

Do you remember 68?

I always remember muscly,
handsome guys.

He came to see me.

- Has he changed?
- More scars, but apart from that...

What's your idea?

To break into the vault
of the Société Générale bank.

What would you do with so much money?

The money isn't the objective.
That's what makes this different.

The act itself is the thing.

You see, Charlotte, you can steal
to live, or, more precisely, to survive.

As for me, it's to prove to myself
that I'm truly alive.

None of your propaganda.
At my age I could be your grandmother.

Upstairs they said it's secure.
No surprise, they want new clients.

But now we're down here,
what do you have to say?

Here. A little sweet.

Madam, rest assured.

Our security system
is extremely sophisticated.

And besides, we're here.

You don't seem very brawny.

And besides, you're here during the day.
But where are you at night?

I know you're sleeping.
It's not my place to criticise you.

Would you mind moving for a moment?

It's forbidden to take
photographs here, Madam.

For my grandchildren. They love
Westerns, they're itching to rob banks.

Even Billy the Kid
wouldn't stand a chance.

- You're going too far, Madame.
- You're right about that.

- That's my weakness, I go too far.
- I'm beginning to lose my temper.

Take this. Here's another
little sweet for you.

With you at least, it's not boring.
And we learn things.

I can't wait to tell all this
to my grandchildren!

You think that the sewer workers
won't notice your private excavations?

I fear that you're dreaming,
my dear Albert.

- We just need to cover it up each time.
- Easy.

I said it was feasible,
I didn't say it would be easy.

Hello, I want to send a telegram.

To Managua.

No, it's not in rural France,
it's in Nicaragua.

What do you mean, am I sure?

It's five minutes to.

My deposit box is just behind this wall.

The alarm clock went off
four minutes ago.

If there was a sound-activated alarm
there'd be police all over the place.

Nothing.

Nothing but the soft silence
of the night.

Wait a minute! You want to break
into every single box in one weekend?

There are 4,000 of them! You'd have
to open one every 25 seconds!

The only blow-torch
which could do that is a laser.

- Do you have one?
- I'll get one.

68 is returning by the first plane.

I was certain
he wouldn't be able to say no.

- Sir.
- Good morning.

I'm looking for a camera.

Something good, the best you have.
A Leica or something like that.

- Come in, I'll show you what you want.
- All right.

I have several models
to choose from here.

- Do you have much time?
- I don't want to waste your time.

Business is slow at the moment.
Here's the Reflex 24l36.

It's the same everywhere.

Nowadays, it requires some
imagination in order to get ahead.

That's something you've always had,
Mr Spaggiari.

How do you know my name?

- Isn't it written on the door?
- No.

I must have heard it somewhere then.

In Hanoi, or Kinshasa.

Yes, some place in Africa,
I'm quite sure of it.

It's possible.

If you're planning on returning there
in the near future,

I know someone important over there,
someone who pays in dollars.

He has a large amount of dollars.

- Really?
- Yes.

I'm not in looking for dollars, Mr...?

Call me Mr Smith.

Look here, Mr Spaggiari, everyone,
even the Arabs, want dollars.

You're not in the best situation...

Don't get angry,
times are tough for everyone.

That's why I thought,
with the current situation...

As far as my current situation
is concerned, what I need is a laser.

These things can be found.
But they're expensive, Mr Spaggiari.

Very expensive.

Everything is relative, Mr Smith.

A tree. But for whom?

Without children, there's no tribe.

I prepared an eagle's nest for them
from which to plunder the plain,

and fertilise the mountains.

But they didn't come.

They'll never come,

and the tribe will be only Adam and Eve,
without fruit in a barren land.

What age is this, then?

It's too late.

And?

As for the laser,
my friends are in agreement.

But they want to meet you.
It's only normal.

- Where?
- Marseilles.

- When?
- We can go right now.

- Who are your friends?
- Open-minded men from Marseilles.

You can trust them.
And you're under no obligation.

I could trust them? Perhaps.

Smith took me to their restaurant
and introduced them by their nicknames.

Dancer.

Golden Mouth.

Nazareth.

Old Joseph.

Pierre, their boss.

Some old-fashioned folklore there.

Despite their big ideas,
they couldn't be called intellectuals.

If you're after a laser,

it's because you want
to cut through steel.

And if you want to cut through steel,
it sounds like a bank is involved.

We're not criticising you, son.
We've got no problem with banks.

You're breaking into boxes
filled with worthless Soviet loans

and useless old magazines?

How much are we looking at
with your little caper?

We're only wondering,
since you're talking about a laser.

Do you know how much a laser costs?
We just want to be sure it's worth it.

I estimate that it's in the region
of three or four hundred million.

How much did you say?

30 to 40 billion.

- Billion?
- Billion.

You see that I had good reason
to bring this to your attention...

Are you sure?

I just wondered whether...

- Are you totally sure?
- Absolutely.

And how do you plan
to get to this loot?

Through the sewers.

I admit that it's a dirty job,
but money is dirty,

and we're not
so squeaky clean ourselves.

What do you mean by that?

I want things to be clear
from the outset.

I'm not here to make friends,

just to get the equipment I need.

I also need manpower. It'll be tough.

Very tough. Not just exhausting,
but back-breaking!

I'll bring my own people.

We'll share everything.
The rats, the shit, the exhaustion.

And, when it's done, the money.

Anyone can say no, but say it now.

You make it nice and clear.
And you're right.

We'll think it over, all right?

What kind of people are your team?

Technicians who can achieve
the impossible.

What gets to me isn't the rats
but the smell.

That's why I couldn't work in a factory.

You bring the laser,
I'll bring the air-freshener.

Sure thing. I'll see you out.

I preferred your Land Rover.

Yes, but the Marseilles guys are right.
The 504 draws less attention.

Direct access. These Marseilles guys
think of everything.

Five bedrooms, three bathrooms,
split-level balcony.

- You still play as well as you used to?
- I try.

I play by myself.
It helps develop patience.

The entire city is ours.

Almost.

That must be them.

Hello, yes? It's me.
Yes, fine. When you want.

SANITATION DEPARTMENT

- You see that small grate on the wall?
- Yes.

It's for the vault's air-conditioning.
The shaft runs parallel to the wall.

- You get the picture?
- Even a fool could understand.

Then you get it.

Putting in some overtime?
What's the problem?

A bloody leak.

- Good luck.
- Thanks.

Behind this wall
there's 30 to 40 cm of concrete,

then loose packed earth for six metres.

Beyond that, the main wall of the bank,
and then...paradise!

It's gonna take a lot of equipment.

I'm telling you this as a former mason.

We already started picking up
the equipment.

And we can't come and go
with the equipment through that tunnel.

- We'll find a better access point.
- Not too far.

It'll be hell.

Hell or paradise,
we're all in this together. Let's go.

All the sewers connect
to the underground river.

We just have to find the one
which leads to the bank.

You think we can all go down
with all these windows facing us?

Just us two, at night time.
That would be best.

Shit! We've come out
by the river again.

We're going in circles.
It's pissing me off!

There's work going on here.
This must lead somewhere.

- All we can do is keep following it.
- Let's go.

The rue de I'Eau fraîche,
near the Exhibition Centre.

- Let me see!
- The bank's there.

God, it's already five a.m.!
It'll be dawn soon!

There's a reservoir up there.

- It's a river of shit!
- You're surprised?

Give me your hand.

- Let's try this one.
- It's as good as any.

It's the bank wall. But don't you see?

We've been wandering
around here for hours.

It's six o'clock.

From the manhole to here
took the two of us an hour.

So that'll be our entrance.

It looks like this is the end
of the walkway.

The water's rising.
It'll be a mess tomorrow!

Luckily I've got the day off.

One thing though, we'll have to work
strictly during the weekend.

- When there are no workers.
- It's possible.

Have you got a handkerchief?

Yeah, hang on.

Here.

What's that, your savings?

My good luck charms.

See this? I took that in Iraq.

If this guy hadn't picked me up
and carried me out of there...

A real tank.

His name's Mike.

We all called him "Lucky".
What a tank he was!

We have to have him with us.
I'll see to it that he comes.

So him and your...

What, your camel driver?
The guy you mentioned before.

- Biki. The Tuareg.
- Yeah, bring him too.

He's a madman. I met him in the desert.

He belongs with the Targui tribesmen.
He walks like they do.

He thinks like them, eats like them.

- Does he fuck like them?
- Yeah.

If he's happy living on dates,
then why...

Why bother breaking into banks?

Biki hadn't been there for the dates

but to help the Targui tribesmen
fight for liberation.

He thought that
since the French withdrawal,

the Targui had been
losing their identity.

- How are you?
- Good.

- You seem taller.
- It's these shoes.

She was in Africa and then Lebanon.

- Let her go back!
- Why?

- Because he's old-fashioned.
- Enough, you two!

Interrogated by some African diplomats.

The English Foreign Office's style, no?

Most men would have spilt everything,

including my whereabouts.
I'd be dead.

- Her name again?
- Mireille.

Hello, Mireille.

A nomad, no fixed address, so healthy
he'd never needed to visit a doctor.

68's pal was going to bring us
some of his famous good luck.

Here's the key to the lift.

We're up on the sixth floor.

You've put on a few extra kilos
since the last time.

You're out of breath.
Is this what easy living does?

- Good to meet you.
- Hi there.

- How was your journey?
- 4,000 km? No small trip!

- Biki.
- Hi. Mike.

Let me check her out.

You're still exactly the same.

- Who does she belong to?
- Myself.

Spaggiari's associates.

This place belongs to an old English
bird who was crazy for our boy here.

- Not bad, our new home.
- Our home? For how long?

As long as she's up for it.
They've got staying power at that age.

Here it is.

Everything's here.
I think we remembered everything.

These lamps should come in handy.

You said you had technicians,
but didn't mention their girlfriends.

There was mention of a laser, though.

Calm down.
It's all going according to plan.

- You'll get your laser.
- You can smile if you want.

You wouldn't last a minute
in the Third World.

They'd take your teeth
to buy rice and medicine.

Very funny.

Only the diamond cutter's not here yet.

Your Egyptian friend.

There's nothing for him to do yet.

Here, take this one, it's light.

Close this up again, wait an hour
and then come to the bank.

Shit.

If I ever see you doing that again...
You hear me?

You must have gotten sunstroke
wandering around the desert.

- Your brain has boiled.
- Let it go, old fellow.

You're looking much perkier now.

Come on, off you go.
Go on. Get away from here.

- What are they fighting about?
- A rat.

Gentlemen.

Gentlemen, the show's over.
There's work to do.

- Get a move on!
- Don't rush me!

- Not sleeping under orange trees now!
- I should have stayed there!

The water level's lower
than the last time.

Get on the walkway.

- Come on!
- Don't rush me!

Are you OK?

Keep going.

You're going too slowly.
Don't walk like a duck.

It's this jack,
it's right between my legs.

So you have got something between
your legs. I wasn't sure. Move it!

It's on the left. On the left.

On the left.

Get down, get lower.

- Biki!
- Here, give it to me.

I'm caught in something! I can't move!

- I can't move!
- Here. Take this.

- I'll see you later.
- OK.

- This is Earthworm. Are you receiving?
- This is Dragonfly, I hear you.

Yeah, a 120-kg dragonfly...
The pounding has begun.

If I stand over the hole
I can hear a muffled banging.

From two metres away
I can't hear a thing. Go ahead.

Call me if anything happens.
I'll call in each hour. Over.

We dumped the rubble
in a dead-end tunnel.

There wasn't much chance
of any workers finding it.

- There are more tools.
- I'll go.

Here, I'll take over.

Earthworm here. Are you receiving?

Earthworm here. We're listening.

Earthworm here. Where are you?
What's that fool up to?

You called him fat before.
You've hurt his feelings.

You're a great help, you two.

I'm taking the combi van
and checking it out.

You really have gone crazy.

If we weren't, do you think
any of us would be here?

You know, this is the most intelligent
animal there is. Most organised as well.

Piss him off and he'll bite you.

If you really piss him off he'll bring
his friends from Sumatra and Athens

and bring the plague to your city.

Shit! The keys to the combi van!

You're not going back empty-handed!

Shit. Bloody torch.

Son of a bitch!

What the hell... What's this?

Shit, the jack!

Who left this?

Biki, I'm surrounded by this vermin.
Come have a chat!

That fool Nazareth.

- I'm eating dirt.
- Do you have the combi keys?

- Why didn't you give me them?
- You never asked.

Give them here. One drops his tools,
another won't talk, now this. Fools!

- Give me the keys.
- Here.

Don't talk to me like that,
bastard photographer!

Don't blame me
cos you got kicked out of Algeria!

Go win back Algeria, Canada
or India if you want,

but stop with this shit!

If you know India, what are
the names of the main trading posts?

Yeah, I know them.

Pondichery, Yanon, Karika, Mahé.

- And the last one?
- Which one?

Chandernagor.

You're the boss, all right.
My hat's off to you.

- Are you receiving, Earthworm?
- Earthworm here.

I've been around the bank,
everything's fine.

You can hear it faintly,
but the traffic noise covers it. Over.

- It's you.
- Yeah, but it could have been a cop.

There's one just over there.

Be careful, Bert.

You'll give yourself a heart attack.

There's no point
in making yourself anxious.

I used to work with a team known
as the best transporters in the West.

One time, in broad daylight
with everyone about, we emptied a villa.

There wasn't a single eyewitness,

not one person came forward
to identify us.

And yet prisons are full of those
who have been identified.

It's true, old fellow.

- Are you gonna hang around for a while?
- Why?

- You stink.
- Really?

The only thing that smells
as bad as shit is shit.

- Want me to hold your feet?
- No.

- Huh?
- No.

It's time. We're off.

The props.

Move the board.

- You'd never suspect.
- It's a work of art.

Come on, Marseilles boy.

Give me a break.

Go on then, draw to see who gets me.

How about we play for you?

If a queen's at stake,
there's only one game for it: chess.

Bravo.

Well, Fisher, shall we go?

- I thought it was just a game.
- It is just a game.

Mireille, don't forget,
I'm not a chess player.

- I'll keep it in mind.
- Good.

I know other games!

It's my kidneys. I can't move.
I must have slipped a disc.

Just look at my hands.
I mean it, look at them!

They're raw wounds.

- I never said it would be easy.
- It's not too bad for you.

I'm in charge of coordinating everyone.

I make sure everything's in harmony,
just like an orchestra conductor.

- Next weekend I'm going down with you.
- Your guys won't back out?

No. They know what the payoff will be.
We're just simple thieves.

We leave the dreams to you.

You don't see,
that's the most important thing.

- Get moving, bloody hell!
- Stop rushing me!

Don't rush me!
Christ, I've had tuberculosis you know!

Tuberculosis, I tell you.
I'm dying down here.

- I prefer a heist to this.
- You don't get 300,000,000 that way.

I don't care, you can keep it!

So you only came along for the ride?

Bloody hell, rats!
I should have brought my gun.

You don't need a gun,
they're friends. Look.

Excuse me, we weren't introduced!

- I've got to go through there?
- Come on.

It's not going to happen.

- Turn around, I'll pull you.
- Pull, then!

I'll push from this end.

You should have told me,
I would have gone on a diet.

My leg! Shit, my leg!

My leg!

- Grab his hard hat.
- Let it go.

- I can't breathe, Mike.
- His hat.

I'm getting too old for this shit!

Come on. Just let go!

Hard labour would be easier!

We might get that too
if we're unlucky.

Mind what you're doing. This is not
the roof of some shack in the woods!

Trucks will be passing overhead.

I know about roofs.
I used to be a carpenter.

We've hit concrete. Your turn now
with the hammer and chisel!

The last defence.
The vault's on the other side.

About the return.

How about widening the passage
where I got stuck?

You really are a pain in the arse.

Stop!

- You can hear it on the street.
- Shit.

The only way around it
is to use a vibrating drill,

but we need to plug it
into a power source.

I know where one is. But we'll need
a lead of at least 500 metres.

In that case, let's close up and find
the equipment we need this week.

We'll stop here.

FIRST FLOOR
DOCTOR'S SURGERY

She didn't show for our meeting.

Her neighbour told me what happened.

I think it's serious.

At her age,
everything is potentially serious.

I knew you'd come, Albert.

What choice did I have? What a nerve.
Making me wait an hour at the Select.

Forgive me.

Apparently I fainted. I was found
lying on the living room floor.

- I was tipsy...
- You were pissed. You Russians...

I'm not Russian. I'm Polish.

Even worse.

Things are going well down there?

- We're almost done.
- I would have liked to have seen it.

I'll bring you a gold bar
to put under your pillow.

What's the use of money?

I'd rather see
those bankers' faces!

I can't promise that. I doubt
they'll be in the best of moods!

Don't take too much liquid, old mother.
Don't overtire her.

This young man never tires me.

OK, then.

So long, Duchess.

Sorry to spoil your fun,
but I think there's a cop outside.

There's no one there.

Hello, Arouath.

It's only our Egyptian diamond expert.

Delighted to meet you.

68.

"Expert", he says, but it's not true.

An enlightened amateur, no more.

I have a taste for attractive things.

Attractive jewels.
And attractive women.

No bags?

Yesterday New York, today Nice,
tomorrow Anvers.

What's the point in carrying suitcases?
Anything I need, I buy where I am.

On the other hand,
with these I can go anywhere.

Do you happen to have a laser too?

The underground river
ran under the city.

I would try to gain access
from the other side.

I found we could easily drive
a Land Rover close to where we were.

Give me a little light here.

- I can't hear a thing. Over.
- Are you sure? Over.

- Are you trying to piss me off? Over.
- Out.

Music to my ears.

It's the back
of the safe deposit cabinets.

Seventeen, eighteen...

Nineteen, twenty...

Twenty-one, twenty-two...

Twenty-three...

Twenty-four...

Twenty-five, twenty-six...

Keep going.

- It's not enough.
- Out of the way.

That's as far as it will go.

The Marseilles gang
got in some blow-torch artists.

I still would have preferred a laser...

We'll solder it shut.

In case the bank manager
decides to drop by over the weekend.

- You've got brains, for sure.
- That's observant of you.

- Shall I plug it in?
- Do it.

Gentlemen, it's done.

Look out, or we'll have
to call in the firemen!

Damn it.

Earthworm here, I'm listening.

Dragonfly here. You've begun?

- We've begun. How are things?
- It's all quiet up here.

Over and out.

Shit.

It's beautiful.

My children, it's... It's simple.

I can die happy now.

Not there, there.

You're only good at screwing, I see.

Look out for these hands of mine.

Don't worry, I started out
as a blacksmith,

but it didn't pay as well as this.

I hope watching us work
isn't too tiring for you.

I'm here for one reason, the inspection
and evaluation of the stones.

How much are they worth?

A conservative estimate would be...
five million crowns.

In plain English?

In plain English, one million dollars.

We had to pick the wrong one.
There's another door!

That's normal.
It's the bank's reserve.

This way for the cash.

You know me, right?

Yes, unfortunately.

I've never been so turned on
in all my life.

Everything all right? Over.

Nothing to report,
just a few homos and trannies. Over.

Over and out. Thanks.

I love them when they're this heavy.

- Use it for bouillabaisse!
- I love the heavy ones.

Realise what this is? What kind
of sicko would do such a thing?

Personally, I like cassoulet.

Cans of it, and chocolate.

My God.

This must date back to the Occupation!

- Bugger.
- Same period.

That stinks!

Hey! The reserve is ours!

These aren't going to be so easy.

Everything all right?

Beyond my expectations.

Some sweets. Must be someone
with a sweet tooth. You want one?

There you are.

I was afraid you wouldn't find me

due to the screens.

I had them put up.
You need peace and quiet.

I thought as much.

I hope to get out of here soon.

In two or three days, perhaps.

Shall we drink to it?

You really are a bar-fly.
Any excuse to drink will do.

Indeed.

You remember Hanoi?

That restaurant you took me to,
what was it called again?

- The Paradise.
- Yes, that's it.

You picked up the maitre d'
because he only had one eye.

He reminded you of Potemkin.

Then there was Berlin.

Alexanderplatz.

Where you danced naked

on New Year's Eve.

So long, Duchess.

- To Saint Charlotte!
- To Saint Charlotte!

Mister, I don't want to contradict you,

but today's my birthday
and it's not Saint Charlotte's day.

You're pissing me off.
Have a drink and shut up.

Have you lost someone, young man?

You're insulting the people
you bought drinks for,

it makes no sense.

Was it an elderly person?

Twenty years old.

Barely even that.

I knew her a pretty long time.

I knew her in Sarajevo.

In Singapore...
During the Japanese occupation.

It doesn't matter.

That's it, that time
at Longchamps racecourse...

I can still see her, with her dress...

It was decorated with mauve flowers,

and a lacy border.
A large wide-brimmed hat as well.

Charlotte...

She was an extraordinary young woman.

- She sounds it.
- How do you know? Did you know her?

I'm the one who knew her.

Me, and an archduke or two.

I left some gypsies there with her,

to play their music for her.

They were playing the Valse Triste
when I left.

Tiptoed away.

I left her behind a screen.

An ordinary screen you'd find
anywhere in a public hospital.

It's a terrible thing, sir,
a screen from a public hospital.

From a public hospital...

Hurry up.

What the hell are you playing at?

I thought you were going to run
with the ball.

Son of a bitch! Jesus Christ!

I thought you liked it
when they were heavy.

Hold on.

A pick, that's what we bloody need!

You just wait. I'll open you up.

Dollars. They can only
appreciate in value.

- Not even signed.
- You never know.

Best to keep hold of it.

Porn pictures!

- High society, at that.
- Goddammit!

Look, it's her. It's her all right!

- Isn't that the wife of...?
- Whose wife?

Yeah, that's her.

Properly handled,
they're worth how much?

Twenty years or a bullet in the head,
depending on your luck.

- Let's put a few up here.
- Let's do it. I'll help.

- Some tape.
- Here.

No harm in denouncing
their lack of morality, eh, Mike?

Listen.

It sounds like something falling.

I can't hear anything anymore.
Not a thing...

We could do with a few chicks
down here, don't you think?

That should be fine.

Look at the label.

It's the weekend takings
from a department store.

They dump it down the chute
when the bank's closed!

It's falling out of the sky!

Goddammit!

Look at that!

This one pleases me no end.

Cut in 1872 by Salomon Grimbach

for Archduke Franz Joseph,

and acquired in 1918
by the Maharani of Kashpur.

Currently belongs to a Miss Berthier,
of the pharmaceutical family.

- Shit, what are you doing?
- It's better this way, believe me.

Bert! There's a call!

There's a guy I've seen around
a few times. He's just walking around.

Shit, this time
he's approaching the bank.

His hands are in his pockets.
Now he's looking at his watch.

I don't know... Nothing else.
Shit, he's in front of the bank door!

He has the keys, he's going in!
He could be the weekend guard.

Are you there? He's entering the bank!

- There's someone in the bank!
- Who?

Possibly the weekend guard.

Dragonfly here. Over.

Come in.

- Earthworm here. Over.
- The guy's leaving.

He's put the keys in his pocket,
he's off.

What a relief.

- What are you two doing?
- This helps relax the spine.

The guy's left the bank,
we've got a few hours left.

- Are you mice or men?
- We're worn out.

- So much for "motivated".
- There are limits.

No laser, no muscles,
what are your clowns for?

We only got into 300 boxes
out of 4,000.

My God, I'm spitting diamonds.

I'm not bullshitting you guys.

I'm spitting diamonds!

You take over.

This is hilarious!

We take our money to Switzerland,
while the Swiss...

They bring their money here!

Europe is moving closer together, boys.

She loves me, she loves me not,
she loves me...

- Listen to me.
- One moment.

Go and track down Mireille
and the two Land Rovers.

Be quiet. And tell 68 to come help us
with moving the goods. Understand?

- It's over?
- You want to wait until the bank opens?

That's it, wrap it up!

A crate of new Russian AK47 s
for my Tuaregs.

How about a nuclear submarine?

As for me, I'm going
to have my teeth seen to.

Quick, let's go.

Wait. In case there's a hitch
before we get to the hideout.

One moment.

What are you doing?

To hide any fingerprints. You never
know, in spite of the gloves...

NO WEAPONS, NO VIOLENCE
AND WITHOUT HATE

Quick, it'll be dawn soon.

Here we go!

Much obliged, sir. Many thanks.

Shit! The soup tureen!

He's broken his tailbone!

I slipped reaching for that
damned soup tureen!

You should have left it.

Looks like we really did it.

Let's move out!

Ladies and gentlemen, please!

Please keep calm!

There's no need for concern.

The bank director
will see you all later today.

You will be reimbursed!

All that you need do
is simply provide proof

of the contents of your deposit box.
Thank you.

There wasn't any money, just letters
from a prominent gentleman.

He was a politician.
He was very generous...

Easy to tell us to prove what we had,
but you don't always have receipts...

- That's the way it is.
- Excuse me.

- Sir, you had a deposit box as well?
- Just like everyone else here.

Sir, what do you make of all this?

Me? I'm just a factory worker.
I didn't have a box in there.

- Not many factory workers do.
- Thank you very much.

Officer, do you happen to have
a lighter? Thanks all the same.

What an amazing job they did. There must
have been at least 20 of them!

They left.

They scattered to the four winds
with their spoils.

Just like looters after a raid,

all they left behind them
was useless junk,

and a friend who found himself
suddenly very much alone.

Where are you, Charlotte?

You old Polack.

Inspector, would you come
and take a look at this?

Mr Spaggiari.

I'd appreciate it if you'd come with us
to help clear up this matter.

In Algeria you were
just small-time crooks.

It didn't take long for most of you
to switch back.

Did you expect to use your weapons
to stage a coup?

- Poor fool.
- Who paid you?

Will you take the fall for that gang?

We have people ready
to name you to avoid extradition.

If you're reasonable, you'll leave here
as innocent as the day you were born.

Someone else takes the fall.

Where did the weapons come from?
Who cares where they're going,

or even what you're up to,
we just want to cut down trafficking.

It's not hard to understand.

Why didn't you warn them
that they missed their target?

The former owner buried the weapons
and you were unaware of this?

I'd agree with that
because it's nothing to do with me.

Tell us about the bank instead.
That's what we're really after.

Our friend can start with the sewers,

and take things in the right order.
You agree?

How did you come up
with such a magnificent idea?

You're acquainted, I believe?

Forgive me, Mr Spaggiari.

You were right.
One must always tell the truth.

OK, that's enough. Out you go.

A traitor almost by profession,

Smith had only told them about me,

and had left me to spill the beans
about his friends.

It was less risky for him.
The filthy bastard.

Thank you, Smith.

Your stubbornness is pointless.
We already know everything.

So tell your story,
sign it and off you go to bed.

- It's straightforward!
- If you won't talk about yourself,

tell us about the others.
If you didn't go into the vault,

if you didn't enter the sewers,
that changes everything.

You'd only be charged as an accessory.

See, I want to help you.
One Corsican helping another.

I'm Italian.

Don't be too pleased with yourself.
The judge will take more time.

He had a box at the bank...

All he cares about
is showing off, Inspector.

He wants us to be impressed,
I'm sure of it.

We'll try one last trick.

Why haven't you beaten me up?
That works sometimes.

Apparently so.
It happens often in novels.

Foreign novels.

Well, I'm off. No hard feelings, Bert.

I'm almost tempted to say
"congratulations".

Before taking him away,
would anyone like a coffee?

You want one, my creative friend?

- Yes.
- Go, get a move on.

Hello, Taillendier here.

Yes, I'm coming back.
No, we got nothing out of him.

Of course, we still have him
for possession of the weapons.

But we hoped for more...

The judge will find a way.

The announcement of a sizeable reward
could motivate our fellow citizens.

It's worked before.

In the meantime, please wish
my colleagues the best of luck.

Goodbye, Sir.

Ensure that nobody here
drives a vehicle for at least 24 hours.

Bring out the vellum.

Sharpen a goose quill pen and compose!

I'm giving you the first scoop.
The supreme heist!

There was an army of us down there!

The best of the best!

We achieved the impossible!

We dug for weeks through the earth!

We dug through.
Prince Albert's great works!

They never knew
what good fortune they had!

If we had had the laser, we would
have gotten into all 4,000 boxes!

The grand slam! The most
audacious raid since the Crusades!

It was Prince Albert!
The mastermind of heists, that's me!

Speeding on amphetamines,
as high as a kite.

Totally hysterical, I laughed
like I'd never laughed before.

Even in prison I carried
in my soul that phrase

early convicts had tattooed on their
foreheads, "It's all just a joke."

You know, I've seen
some stunts in my time,

but yours is the most magnificent.

- That's very kind of you, my friend.
- Hey.

Why did you confess?

Because it's even funnier when the caper
gets official recognition.

Are you from Corsica?

Without his memoirs,
Napoleon wouldn't be half as renowned.

Pride makes the world go round,
and humour as well on occasion.

Come in.

Since being arrested 14 months
and 12 days ago,

I was still waiting for a friend.
And now I know he's coming

I'll always have at least one friend
out there in the world.

Perhaps he had already come
and I hadn't noticed.

All the papers spoke about the judge.
My friend must have cased his office.

The trial was approaching
and I couldn't delay it any longer.

That Thursday, the 10th of March '77,

I was taken to the Law Courts,
as happened every Thursday.

I don't know why,
but I was in a great mood.

I realised that right from the very
start to now, I'd been in a great mood.

My mother always told me
that I'd never been a serious child.

The message was obvious.
"You jump at five o'clock."

Let's see if we can sort out
what went on with the cases.

His watch last showed five past four.
How long until five?

30, 35 minutes? I had to know,
it is imperative that I know!

"About 40 cases" is rather vague.

That could mean more than 40
or less than 40.

Of course, the secretary's watch!

But the face was tiny,
and the bitch keeps moving.

You spoke about aluminium cases.
American, I assume?

Why American? Do you think
there's a connection with the mafia?

No, they were leather cases.
The brand was Sauvagnat.

- Could you please spell the name?
- Of course. S-O...

No, S-A-U-V-A...
Damn, I have to see it written myself.

Remain in your seat!

What's wrong with him today?
Does he suspect something?

That's it. Sauvagnat. G-N-A-T.
G-N-A-T, like Auvergnat.

4:58! I hope that's the right time.

Shit. Hopefully this idiot is punctual.

You cannot say that my client
is not forthcoming.

If he were to provide the same detail
about the sewers...

My Lord, all that you need to do is ask!

I promised you a sketch,
and here are three.

Unfortunately, it's now five o'clock.
I'll examine them the next time.

By then I'll naturally
have looked over them.

I fear that certain details
are not clear.

I've not much skill at drawing.
One can't excel in everything!

One moment. Fine,
these all seem to be quite clear.

You won't make head
nor tail of them like that, my Lord.

I should have numbered the pages.
That's better.

That's the Exhibition Hall...

The underground river,
and here's the outlet...

And you were able to drive
a Land Rover right up to there?

This meeting has been most productive.
I will study these in great detail.

You'll have plenty of time indeed.

No, not that!

Catch him!

Stop him! Catch him!

LAW COURTS

What am I leaving behind?
A thwarted justice system,

plaintiffs without any real complaint,

my wife,

my dogs and my guns.