Original subtitles

Previously on "Jonas L.A."...

Mantra wants to meet with me for our next album.

I'm not interested in working with your brothers... just you.

I just read something online... Jonas is breaking up.

You must be the famous movie brat.

And you are single.

Whoa. Boyfriend?

She needs to know all of your flaws.

You're afraid of commitment. You can't make a decision

or express your feelings. And to top it all off, you have an ego.

Your honesty has made me feel closer to you.

None of those flaws you made up are working.

Joe, I didn't make those up.

- What do you think, Kev? A table for two? - And one.

Guy, I don't know why mantra started the rumor about me going solo,

but it's not true and no one's gonna believe it.

Jonas? Together?

Are you guys here to beg Nick to come back

or is this the breakup conversation?

Look, I know it's probably none of my business,

but, Nick, I support you.

No, I don't. I don't. I love you guys together.

I am freaking out.

Okay.

Okay, right this way, please.

Wow.

She seems nice.

Guys, I seriously think we need to put a statement up

on our website saying we're not breaking up.

Okay, Macy says that if we responded to every crazy rumor,

all we'd be doing is responding to crazy rumors.

Like Kevin being an alien baby.

- I don't remember that one. - It's my own theory.

Okay, so we agree we're just gonna let the rumor go away on its own.

Oh, come on, man.

Sorry, but we're just trying to have breakfast, please.

- Hello, Kevin. - I know that voice.

David henrie.

To what do I owe this displeasure?

I challenge you to a challenge

on the beach for my new reality show

called "David henrie's celebrity beach challenge."

Come up with the name yourself?

I did actually with a roomful of writers

who I hired.

So do you accept the... the challenge?

Bring it on, henrie. There better be sunscreen.

Oh, there will be. And snacks.

- The fruit better be fresh. - Or what?

- I won't eat it. - Fine. More for me.

Come on, guys, let's go.

Wow, you guys really go at it over nothing.

That David henrie just gets under my skin.

Whatever happened between you guys anyway?

- Can't get into it. - That bad, huh?

No, I just don't remember what it was.

Hmm.

- ( Rock music playing ) - * Yeah! *

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ I was sitting at home ♪

♪ watching TV all alone ♪

* so tired of routines *

♪ the day goes on and on ♪

* so I pick up the phone *

* call everyone I know *

* I say there's gonna be a party *

* hit the music, here we go, yeah *

♪ you gotta live to party, bust your move ♪

♪ everybody's in the groove ♪

♪ tell the d.J. To play our song ♪

♪ are you ready to rock and roll? ♪

♪ gotta live to party, bust your move ♪

♪ everybody's in the groove ♪

♪ live to ♪

♪ party! ♪

Kevin, David Henrie's trash-talking you over the Internet.

- The whole Internet? - A lot of it.

He says that when he challenged you, and I quote,

you "shivered like a wet dog."

David Henrie is going down.

Oh, no. The feud again?

- What was that even about? - No one knows.

Good morning, Joe.

Hey.

Wow, I get a whole syllable today?

Must be my birthday.

It's not your birthday. I know when your birthday is.

I was kidding.

Oh well, maybe you can put "forgets birthdays" on your list too.

Dude, will you just let it go already, please?

Maybe I should go.

You know what? I'm over it.

- Wow, we really need to... - Do something.

- Yeah. - Okay.

Hey Joe...

Are you okay?

I'm just tired of the drama.

I thought I liked him again,

but after the way he's been acting, I'm over it.

Why would I want to be with somebody

if all they do is point out what's wrong with me?

I was trying to help him.

He can't name a single one of his own flaws.

She had a list: I'm afraid of commitment;

I'm oblivious; I have a huge ego;

and apparently I don't know how to express my feelings.

I didn't mean to hurt his feelings.

I don't know, maybe this whole being-friends thing just wasn't meant to be.

I don't even think I can be friends with her anymore.

- It's too painful. - I'm just gonna stay out of her way...

- Be polite... - And try to get through...

The rest of the summer.

...The rest of the summer.

- This is bad. - I know.

- We need to... - Meddle?

I was gonna say "stay out of it,"

- but let's try it your way. - Okay.

( Dramatic music playing )

Welcome to "David Henrie's celebrity beach challenge."

I'm David Henrie.

And this is my challenge.

I should take this time to introduce my challenger,

and I use that word hilariously,

'cause it's Kevin from Jonas.

Hey, everybody. I'm so happy to be here

to beat David Henrie at his own challenge.

Yeah, right. What planet are you from, bud?

Why? What did you hear?

( Clears throat ) Here's how it all works:

There's there rounds. Round one is worth five points.

Round two is worth 50 points.

And round three... 1000 points.

Of course. Simple David Henrie logic.

Why don't we just do round three?

Why don't we just do round three?

'Cause I don't want to.

( Clears throat ) Our first challenge...

it's called "the celebrity joust...

Challenge."

Is that gonna happen every time you say "challenge"?

It might happen. Got a prob?

Challenge.

Challenge. Challenge.

Challenge.

Let me guess... challenge.

Challenge.

Okay, that's it.

Challenge.

Here's how it works: The two of us are gonna go to town on each other

using our celebrity-safe jousting sticks.

But not to the head or face... that's a given.

The first person to fall off loses the round.

( Blows whistle )

You don't want none of this. But I can guarantee you something...

you're gonna be a mess when this is all over with.

Get ready, 'cause it's gonna come out of nowhere.

Whoa!

( Blows whistle )

Big deal... five points.

Whooptee-doo. Bring on round two!

This is just what you need... a few hours out on the open seas

- to clear your head. - I think you're right, man.

Just a little bro time, to get away from all the craziness.

- ( Laughing ) - Oh.

Look who's here.

Can you believe this?

Talk about a small world. Huh.

You stink.

Never pegged you as a meddler, Nick.

You've never used the words "pegged" or "meddler" before.

See what she brings out in me?

So all aboard?

I'm out of here.

Later, dude.

Stella.

- Joe, slow down. - No.

Well, you're running out of dock.

Well, I would have gone the other way, but the dock was taken.

That was a dirty trick, Mace.

I'm sorry, but we had to do something.

I mean, you guys don't even want to be friends anymore.

Why even bother?

Because Stella still likes you.

She told me even after everything that you guys have been through

she still thinks that you are the one for her.

Well, what about all my flaws?

I don't know. Stop having them.

Stella, come on.

I don't like being manipulated, Nick.

I know it was wrong and I apologize,

but we had to do something to get you two together.

Why? So Joe could just ignore me?

Look, I know he's been acting a bit weird lately,

but you really hurt his feelings.

Oh, I know, the whole list of flaws.

But he kind of asked for it.

I'm not saying he didn't.

He just really took it to heart.

Why?

Because it came from you.

- I'm a bad person. - No, you're not.

- I'm insensitive. - You say what you mean.

- I can be sarcastic. - You have a great sense of humor.

- I'm way too judgmental. - Yeah.

I can't fight you on that one.

See?

But so what, you know? Nobody's perfect...

not you, not me, certainly not Joe.

Can we talk about this on the boat?

You're paying by the hour, aren't you?

Yes I am.

Got it.

Welcome back

to the "David Henrie's celebrity beach challenge."

I'm David Henrie on the beach

ready for our second challenge.

I can't remember who beat you last time.

Oh, that's right, this guy... me.

Oh yeah, you did. Five points, whooptee-doo.

High five... not.

This next competition we got right here

is the 50-point challenge...

the "David Henrie celebrity sticky wall challenge."

What's gonna happen is you and I are gonna get a running start,

launch off that there trampoline,

boom... hit the bouncy, shebang...

whoever lands the highest wins the competition.

Did you get all that or should I slow it down for you?

- I'm not scared. - ( Laughs ) Oh, you will be.

Now being that you're the guest, I'll start.

What?

( Blows whistle )

- ( Yelps ) - ( Shouting )

Ha ha!

Who's the stickiest? Me! I am!

Ahh.

Now how do I get down?

Uh, girls, give me a little assistance here.

Thank you.

And we're down. Oh yeah.

K-Dawg, you're up, bud. Good luck.

Oh hey, it's Emily Osment.

I'm not falling for that one.

- Hey, Kev. - Hi, Emily.

( Shouting )

Oh.

Yes! Ha ha! Round two... me.

Welcome to the Henhouse, K-Dawg.

Oh.

- Hey, Kev. - Hey.

Is Jonas really breaking up?

No.

All right, see you.

Bye.

( Grunting ) Okay.

Argh!

( Ballad playing )

* Oh oh *

* oh oh *

♪ it was a beautiful day ♪

♪ I throw my worries away ♪

♪ nothing new, just the same old same ♪

♪ so I'ma start a new page ♪

- Ahoy, land lubbers! - * I turn the radio on *

- All hands on deck! - * And it's my favorite song *

That's boating for "get to work."

* It feels so right, this can't be wrong *

* I just want a good time *

* oh oh *

* I don't wanna fuss and fight, no *

♪ life's too short to waste time ♪

♪ oh no ♪

* every little thing's gonna be all right *

* 'cause we're chillin' in the summertime *

* not a cloud in the sky *

* everybody's feeling fine *

♪ and everything will be all right ♪

♪ 'cause we're soaking up the sweet sunshine ♪

♪ not a worry on my mind ♪

♪ everybody's feeling fine ♪

♪ everything will be all right, all right ♪

♪ and in the morning we gon' rise ♪

♪ we gon' rise, oh yeah ♪

♪ trials and tribulations ♪

* pass us by *

♪ pass us by, oh no ♪

♪ so don't you worry, love is waiting ♪

♪ on the other side ♪

* every little thing's gonna be all right *

* 'cause we're chillin' in the summertime *

* not a cloud in the sky, not a cloud *

♪ everybody's feeling fine ♪

♪ and everything will be all right ♪

* 'cause we're chillin' in the summertime *

* not a cloud in the sky, not a cloud *

* everybody's feeling fine *

* and everything will be all right. *

So beautiful day, huh?

It is beautiful out here.

And I'm not afraid to say it because I am expressing how I feel.

And I totally support you

in a completely positive and non-judgmental way.

Stella, you want to give me a hand with lunch?

Absolutely. Does anybody need anything?

Water sounds nice.

Or juice. Maybe milk.

Actually, scratch that. I'm committing to water.

Water it is.

Although I wouldn't criticize you if you changed your mind.

Nope, water's the only drink for me.

I am committing to it.

That's wonderful.

- Macy: Okay, let's go. - All right.

- What's wrong with you? - Nothing.

Macy said to get rid of my flaws, so I'm committing.

- To water? - It's always been there for me.

That's weird. And I know you really want juice.

I do. I really do.

Stella, I love you. You're my best friend.

But why are you acting like such a freak?

I don't want to hurt Joe anymore.

I need to be supportive, non-judgmental, no sarcasm, no digs,

although I know he's already changed his mind to juice.

Okay.

- You got it? - Yep.

Lunch.

Oops, I forgot your water. Is juice okay?

Juice is wonderful. I am thankful for my juice.

You guys,

the boat's not moving. Why is the boat not moving?

'Cause the anchor dropped.

( Whirring )

Well, pull it back up.

It's stuck.

So let me get this straight...

we're never getting back to shore?

Macy, it's gonna be all right. We'll get the anchor up.

Oh really? How do you know?

Are you the anchor? No no, honey,

- you're not the anchor. - Honey, stay calm.

The last time someone told me to stay calm, I was six.

My mom took me to happy land and we were on a boat ride.

( Giggles ) There were these little robot puppets

that kept on singing, "it's a happy little land for you and me,

- it's a happy little land for you and me. " - ( Joe singing )

And then the boat got stuck!

And the song kept on playing and playing.

And the robot puppets kept on singing and singing.

- And there was this... what? - Joe!

Sorry, it's a catchy tune, okay?

And sometimes I can just be oblivious.

Not anymore.

No judgments.

Will you guys just stop?

Okay, we are stuck in the middle of the ocean!

Macy, the shore is right over there, okay?

There's a manual crank below. I'll get the anchor up.

Let's go.

Okay. What are we doing up here?

( Seal barking )

Is that a shark fin?

- It's a seal. - Aww.

Boy, can some people be weird on boats.

No kidding.

- It's just a boat, right? - What was that?

Promise you won't freak out?

I promise.

Remember that crank I was trying to find?

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I can't find it.

We're doomed.

We are.

Are you ready for the final challenge?

It's a little something I call "the David Henrie's celebrity beach challenge... "

okay, I get it. Enough. Let's just end this.

All right, fine. I'm gonna give you one chance to apologize

and avoid any further public humiliation.

Henry, even if I knew what I did, I still wouldn't apologize.

Have it your way.

Oh, would you like a... would you like a melon wedge?

You were supposed to drop the tray

then.

You're fired, mom. Go.

It's actually pretty peaceful out here.

Yeah. What if we were stuck out here forever?

Or a storm came and blew us to a tropical island?

We'd have to learn how to survive.

We could live off the land.

I could fish and build us a hut.

I could make clothes out of palm leaves

and little accessories out of seashells.

( Laughs ) We could have a pet monkey.

We could have whatever we wanted.

I mean, it would be like starting over.

Starting over...

I like the sound of that.

You really want that monkey, don't you?

( Laughs )

I think I'm gonna go check on that crank.

Yeah.

Yeah, a good idea.

- Guys. - Doomed!

- Whoa. - Lost at sea!

What?

She's gonna be fine. Joe, what's up?

I like Stella.

I mean, I've always liked Stella,

but now she's gonna let me have a pet monkey.

- He has ocean madness. - No, he doesn't.

Joe, what are you trying to say?

What I'm trying to say is that there's no one like Stella.

She gets me.

She makes me laugh.

And I want her to be my girlfriend.

Oh, so our plan worked.

Wow, it did.

And if we survive, we could totally go on a double date.

So guys, what do I do?

Joe, it's a gorgeous day.

You're on a boat on the ocean.

- Forever. - Not forever.

Stella's waiting for you up there.

It's the perfect moment.

What if she turns me down?

Joe, the summer is almost over.

How many moments have you lost because you were afraid to take a chance?

I don't know.

- A lot. - Don't lose this one.

It might be the best moment of your life.

Right.

Wow.

So I should probably just go.

- Go. - Call for help.

Wait, yep. Go.

Okay.

( Blows whistle )

( Both grunting )

- I can't believe I used to like you. - Yeah, I used to like you too.

We used to do all sorts of fun celebrity things together.

Yeah, what went wrong?

Actually, you know what? Seriously, what did I do?

Fine. Does the name Jenny Reese ring a bell?

No.

Here's a hint: Jenny Reese.

Oh, you mean Jen? Yeah, she was funny.

She broke up with me to go out with you.

I never dated Jen. She went out with Joe.

Huh? Hmm. How about that?

Are you kidding?

I'm sorry, all you guys look alike to me and sound the same.

We're battling over a frozen vat of goo

and you say "sorry"?

I'll tell you what... We're even.

Happy?

Shall we drop it on three?

Drop it on three. One...

Two...

Both: Three.

Whew.

So we're cool?

Yeah, man. Hey, we're cool.

Awesome.

Whoa!

( Yelling )

Now we're cool.

Joe from Jonas,

consider yourself challenged.

- Stella. - Hey.

I need to ask you something.

Yeah. Is everything okay?

Never better. Listen, I know

things have been rocky between us.

- ( Boat approaches ) - Lisa: Ahoy sailors!

Aunt Lisa?

What are you doing here?

Well, I've been following you the whole time.

What kind of chaperone would I be if I left my girls

on a boat with two rock stars, huh?

Hold that thought, aunt Lisa.

- Stella. - Yeah?

We're saved! Ha!

Nick: It's a miracle.

- Throw me a rope, girls. - Get me off this boat.

Sorry.

Wait, everyone just hold up. I'm not finished.

- Stella. - Yeah?

The summer's almost over.

And ever since we got to L.A.

I've been wanting to ask you something.

What was that?

Stella Malone,

will you be my girlfriend?

* They say you'll know *

* when you really find the one *

* but it's hard to tell *

* with the damage that's been done *

* but I'd like to say that it's your fault *

* but I know better. *

Next on "Jonas L.A."...

Stella Malone, will you be my girlfriend?

Is Jonas breaking up? Yeppers or nopers?

Nick, just tell him you're not doing a record with mantra.

Arr! There be a storm a-brewing.

Actually, I have a side project of my own.

Say Joe, you've been awful quiet down there.

What's your big secret?

A secret? Do I look like somebody who has a secret?

- What's he hiding? - Line one, it's Stella.

If you have something to say, just say it.

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