Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Spare any change Father?

Bless your soul wandering one.

Fuck you!

Good morning! Eat shit!

Father, please grant me the strength and compassion to

complete my work. I know you set no challenge before me I cannot

overcome. Thank you for this day. Amen.

Give me all your fuckin' money.

You would rob a priest my son?

You think I am fuckin' bluffing?

Fuck!

Ha. Now that's the fuckin' shit!

If you ever hold out on me again, I'll fuckin' gank you.

You hear me bitch?

What is it that makes you so angry?

Your fuckin' type sickens me.

My children, life is rarely easy. But nothing happens by

accident. It's all a part of God's plan. Still, sometimes

it's hard to look at a hardship and consider it a blessing.

I was mugged on my way here today. My bible was thrown on

the ground. Some of its pages were smeared, others wore torn

out of its spine. My first instinct was to get mad, but

then I realized: this is a message from God. There is so

much hate in this world and I'm here to remind you to keep

responding to it with love. We can all get through this

together, because it's all a part of God's plan. Everything

happens for a reason. Thank you for coming today. Amen!

Shut the fuck up! I'm tryin' to sleep.

Detective White, Officer Blank,

it was a pleasure to have you both here today.

Father, were you really mugged this morning?

Out behind the church.

Do you want to press charges against the

piece of shit who did it to ya?

I'm quite alright officer. Uh, I'd stay and chat longer but I

have to go change my robes.

I have an appointment with a troubled family I need to keep.

Good day and God bless.

Have a good day Father.

This place fuckin' sucks!

Father! Father! Thank God you're here. Oh I'm Sorry, I didn't

mean to use the Lord's name in vain. Please come in.

Honey, Father Bane is here.

Father, you remember our retarded son Dougie.

Dougie! Stop that! Get over here.

Alright Dad.

Take a seat please.

Lemonade, Father?

No thank you. I'm quite alright.

So what seems to be troubling you my children?

Our daughter Amy.

It's like she's become a different person. We've tried

family counseling, we've tried everything.

It's like she's possessed by a demon.

That's extremely unlikely. Now is she here?

Yes Mr. Father.

Could you ask her to come join us Ronald?

Amy, could you join us please?

We have company, could you join us please?

If you don't get down here now-

Coming, Dad.

Way to blow your top, Dad. Jesus.

Hey! No using the Lord's name in vain.

You smell like dog's behind.

Shut the fuck up Dougie.

You're a fucking bitch.

Dougie!

As you can see Father her behavior is starting to affect

Dougie.

We wouldn't want to have to send him back to military school

That was a homeless shelter!

It's the same thing Dougie! We've been over this before!

Let's all take a breath Mr. Bonner.

Obviously something has happened to

Amy. Some sort of tragedy has befallen her and now she is

lashing out to try to reclaim control.

I'll get it.

Well we know she's hurt.

Hey, HEY!

Everybody on the ground or I'll pump this kid so full

of lead he'll be shittin' pencils for a month!

Who are you?!

I'm gonna kill this whole goddamn family.

Tie those fuckers up!

We'll give you whatever you want I swear.

Padre, the rest of you fucks, it's my son Sissy's birthday.

Isn't that right Sissy?

Happy Birthday to me!

And for his birthday Sissy asked for a nice normal

family. Isn't that right Sissy?

Oh absolutely.

Sissy? Nice name bitch.

If you don't shut up I'm gonna jam my fist so far

up your fuckin' snizz it'll be wearing your ovaries as a

fuckin' hat!

Play nice Buddy. It's Sissy's birthday.

Ruff, ruff, ruff!

Now we're all going to sing happy birthday, or the kid

here gets a sexy new orifice right there in his head.

Is that clear?

Yes.

Yes.

Say yes or you'll be scraping his brains off the fuckin'

walls.

Yes, yes, for god's sake yes. Just don't hurt Dougie or my

Baby.

His name is Sissy you Motherfuckers!!!

Let's START THIS PARTY WITH A BANG!

Dougie? DOUGIE?!

Dougie!!!! Noooooo!!!!

Thus exeunt the retard.

I like this game!

Fuck this!

Fuck this? FUCK YOU!

Amy!

I can't believe that fuckin' bitch hit me.

Let's teach this bitch a lesson.

Turn the other cheek. You must turn the other cheek.

God wants you to turn the other cheek!

Turn the other cheek! TURN THE OTHER CHEEK!

Wait!

Buddy, Trisha, wait.

What does God want us to do Father?

God wants you to turn the other cheek.

Ooooh? I think he told us to fuck you in the ass!

Noooo!

Don't mind if I do!

You can't!

Boys, bring her into the other room for me!

No. No! Oh god. No!

Buddy, you watch the door.

NOOOO!

Sissy?

Please no!

Don't worry mommy.

I love the taste of peaches.

Move bitch!

Sit down!

Oooooo.

How can you do this?

Shut the fuck up.

Sissy do you believe in God?

What?

Never mind.

Let's make this interesting Padre.

Hurt me all you will, just don't hurt them. Spare these good

people.

If you truly believe in turning the other cheek you

won't shoot him. That would be murder.

'Thou Shalt Not Kill', right father?

There's no reason for this.

Yeah! I fucking LOVE this shit!

For God's sake Father, shoot her.

I can't.

Bleed bitch.

Shoot her!

I can't. Thou shalt not kill!

Oooooooh!

Shoot her you fucking coward!

Thou shalt not kill!

It's nice to meet you! I'm Sissy!

Yeah! That's the stuff. That's my cherry kool-aid!

Shoot her you fucking coward!

I will not be tempted.

Nooooo!

Impressive, Father.

You could have stopped this. You could have saved us.

Hey, look what I found.

Oooooo.

You like, 'em?

You could have stopped this. You could have saved us.

Hey Sissy, I've gotta birthday joke for you.

Ooooooh!

How many babies does it take to paint a floor?

I don't know, how many?

No.

Let's find out!

That was FUCKING AWESOME! YEAH!

Best Birthday Ever!

Gun, Sissy?

- There. - Oh.

Please, don't!

Boys! Take a step back.

What? No!

You never want to spend time with two guys who've just

watched you buttfuck a slam-hole.

Makes sense.

Buddy, get the car.

FuuuuUUUUuuuuck! Fuck!

Sissy, all good things must come to an end.

Who's my girl?

- I am! - I know!

Would you do me the honor?

I'd love to.

Oooooh!

You could have stopped this. You could have saved us.

- On three. - Three!

All done Daddy, thank you for the gift.

Ladies. Priest?

He wouldn't shoot us when he had the chance, just leave him.

Really? Alright, let's leave him with a party favor.

Or six.

Forgive me Father?

By the way, you look like a fucking penguin.

Please help me. Oh God don't leave me.

Oh! Oh.

For God's sakes somebody help her!

Prep the OR!

Set her down.

Move! Move!

Cleanup to the ER. Cleanup to the ER.

Our Father, Who art in Heaven...

You could have stopped this. You could have saved us.

You could have stopped this. You could have saved us!

You Motherfucker!

You could have stopped this. You could have saved us.

You fucking coward!

Asshole!

Hey man, you know where I can score?

You wanna party big daddy?

You wanna fuck my wife?

God why hast thou forsaken me?!

Lord, give me a sign for I know not what to do.

Gimme your fuckin' money. I said gimme your shit!

So be it.

Do it. Do it! FUCKING DO IT!

Fuck you you fuckin' freak.

You must be lost Father.

I know exactly where I am.

I'll take that one.

You got ID?

I want that one.

You even got money?

I'll get money later, I need that gun right now.

You're serious.

Dead serious.

Well, you don't got no ID and it takes five to ten days to get

the permit in, but you're a priest it's not like you're

gonna run around and cause trouble.

Alright.

I shall call you Lord.

Absolve me of ally my sins or whatever and I won't charge you

for the ammo.

Bless you my son and the Lord forgive your sins.

Is that all it takes?

For you, yes.

Be safe.

Come on Marcus.

You call me Mr. Hoffman!

You know I can't afford it, my wife she's real sick.

Come on, look at this: This is the best pussy pussy in town.

You're gonna love it.

Come on daddy, I want it so bad.

How could I say no to you? I bet yo pussy tastes like rancid

coon meat.

Who the fuck are you?

The sword of vengeance. Whoremonger. Harlot.

Father, no Father please forgive me. I'll suck yo dick man!

They say let he without sin cast the first stone.

First stone cast motherfuckers.

Nine-One-One, what's your emergency?

Yea I heard gunshots...

That was you?

False alarm - just some kids playin' with firecrackers.

Don't worry about it.

You gonna kill me too?

I absolved your sins. Unless you feel like you need something

extra?

Go with God.

I don't need God.

I walk with the Lord.

Give me all your fuckin' money.

You, you holdin' out on me!

You've made the Lord very angry.

What the fuck are you talkin' about?!

Fear the Lord's wrath!

Fuck! Shit! My fuckin' leg man. Oh. Fuck.

Fuck! Fuck!

Please. Please! I -

- Shhhh. Shhh. Shh. - Fuck, I don't man... Don't -

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear no

evil, for he is with me. And surely goodness and

mercy shall follow me, all of my days...

...just not today.

Lord, you are the way and the light. Give me your

strength. Only through you can I change this world. Bless

me with your gunpowder and shell casings and fill me with your

righteous hate. All hail violence. Death to evil.

Amen to guns.

Hello Father Bane speaking.

Yes, this is Shitsville Hospital calling, we've got an Amy Bonner

that we're gonna need someone to come pick up.

I'm on my way.

What are you looking at?!

Thank God you're here. Please come with me. She's doing a lot

better than we thought she would. When she came in she had

less than a 3% chance of survival. I mean, it's a

miracle she can breathe without the help of a machine.

She's conscious now but she's lost all function in her legs.

She's angry, she's in denial and she's physically attacking

our staff.

I'll take her with me when I go.

Bless you father.

Argh!

Anyone else want to tell me that I'm crippled?

Amy.

Father? My whole family is dead.

I know.

Do you think that I'm crippled?

You'll never walk again.

Fuck you!

We all have our scars.

Jesus Christ.

He didn't have anything to do with this.

Where the hell am I going to go?

You're coming with me.

Let's get the fuck out of here then.

Wait!

Fuck you!

So this is your place?

Yes.

Where am I gonna sleep?

The bed.

Where are you gonna sleep?

I don't sleep. Make yourself presentable.

Uh, yeah, cuz I don't fit into this neighborhood at all.

There was some guy getting his dick sucked back

there.

Where?!

I don't know, near that warehouse.

Stay here.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'll be back in a minute.

Oooo! New coat!

Oh yeah. Oh. Oh yeah baby, that's the stuff.

Is that your wife?

Yah.

You better not be lying to me.

No, I swear to God I'm not. I'm not.

You?

Enjoy yourselves. Have a lovely evening.

Don't ever wear a condom.

No. I won't. No.

Don't stop.

Amy? Amy??

Amy!!!

Who are you?! Where are you taking me? Let me go!

You're gonna rape a cripple you sick fuck?!

Yeah bitch, just cuz you can't move yo legs doesn't mean they

can't get spread. I'm gonna be up in ya like

peanut butter in a dog's ass.

Don't you fuckin' touch me.

Step away from the girl.

Hey man, I'm gonna cut this crippled bitch's throat!

Father Bane?

Some people say kill em all and let God sort em out.

Today I'm giving God the day off.

Hallelujah.

OOOOOO! OOooOO! Ooooo!

You shot me in the balls man! Not the balls! Not the balls!!

I thought you were supposed to forgive people.

Forgiveness for some bullets for the rest!

No!

Praise the Lord.

The Lord's a big-ass gun?

It's the only thing I have faith in now.

Let's go, we'll get you settled back into my apartment.

This won't happen again.

I've got one last midnight sermon to give.

I've never been as wet as I am right now.

As you all know God puts tests in front of us. He doesn't

make things easy. He makes things hard. Sometimes he makes

them so hard you wonder if God's an asshole.

If he's just moving us around like pieces on a board

making up the rules as he goes along. If God doesn't give a

shit. Well, I'm here to tell you: he doesn't care.

God gave us free choice and that turned us into murderers and

rapists and thieving fucking scum. Well, I'm here to pass

judgment on all of you and I pronounce you damned.

I hate each and every piece of human garbage, and I hate God.

Abandon all hope, ye who breathe air. All hail the

almighty violence!

Jesus Christ!

Stop!

Stop or I'll shoot!

Shoot me if you must, I will answer my calling.

Goddamnit father!

No. No. No! No no!! No!! NOOO!!!

Fuck!

I need your help.

What do you need?

There's a family of monsters: Dokes, Sissy, Trisha and Buddy.

The MacFarlanes. They're whacked alright.

Where can I find them?

If we knew that we'd arrest them ourselves.

I know where Buddy is.

- What? - Where?

He's runs an underground nightclub out of downtown.

41st and King.

Thank you my son.

That was stupid.

Buddy killed my brother. He can go fuck himself.

Dokes bankrolls us.

That's why I didn't give away anything about Dokes.

That greasy fuck can keep paying my bills till

doomsday.

What a mess.

Anyways, Dokes isn't gonna know a damn thing.

He will when his kids turn up dead and he traces it back to

you.

There won't be any witnesses.

Ha!

How are you feelin' tough guy?

I'm fine.

I've needed a real man in my life for years, to discipline

me.

I'm here for a higher purpose.

So let's get high and you can fuck my slutty little brains

out.

No.

Please?

No.

Is it because I'm crippled?

No.

Are you gay or something?

No.

Well then why can't we get it on!?

I was married to God, what makes you think you can measure up?

Does God give blowjobs?

No.

But I used to think he loved me.

Fuck.

Whooo!

A drink on the owner's tab?

A drink on the owner's tab?!

Are you fucking kidding me? Cigarette!

Do I look generous to you? I won't even blow my own fuckin'

sister! Gimme the bat.

It was an accident.

- An accident. - I just... just wanted a

- free drink. - Free drink motherfucker?

I'll give you your free fuckin' drink!

Boys? Hold that piece of shit!

No. No. Ugh. No!

Take me out to the ballgame. Take me out to the ball!

- Ah fuck it. - Noooooo!!!

Whoo!!!

You know, I don't know what the fuck Sissy gets out of all that

singing bullshit.

Clean that shit up!

What the fuck?

I'm here for Buddy and Trisha MacFarlane.

I'll absolve everyone else later.

Boys?!

Knock this fuck's brains in!

Wait!

What sis?

He didn't kill us last time. This is all for show.

You're gonna save our souls father?

I do the Lord's work.

Well Father, I've done some bad things.

Some real bad things.

It all started when I was four and played

doctor with my comatose grandmother.

So now I'm looking for some forgiveness.

What do you say? Can't know anything til you've been

to the edge, right?

Now this looks familiar.

Hey nutbag, does the Lord forgive me my Fuckin' sins?

No.

NO!!!

Drop your weapons! On your fuckin' knees!

Do it or I will skull-fuck his corpse!

Thou shalt not steal.

Thou shalt not commit adultery.

You can't do this. You're a priest.

Thou shalt not worship graven images.

Jesus Christ.

Thou shalt not take his name in vain!

What about 'Thou Shalt Not Kill'?

Does it look like I'm running for Jesus?

"Nobody sells drugs at my school".

As you can tell we have a zero tolerance policy on zero

drug environments.

Screw driver.

Mr. MacFarlane, I'm sorry, but...

In a minute.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, but it's important. It's real

important.

It better be or I'm going to carve you a new asshole with

this thing!

Some guy in clerical robes just left Buddy's club.

When one of our He/She's went in they found everybody

dead.

The band, Buddy, Trisha, everybody dead!

They'd all been shot in the face. Oh and this whackjob

just walked away.

Now let me make sure I got this right: you say a priest

showed up, pulled a gun, killed the bouncers and

then iced my two fuckin' kids?

Yes. Fuck. Yes. I'm sorry Mr. MacFarlane.

Please don't hurt me.

Is that the truth monkey-slut?

Ye-Ye-Yes! Fuck yes! I'm sorry. OH GOD.

Well it must've been real scary for you to have to

deliver this news to us.

Yes. Yes it was!

Today's been a tough day.

Yes.

Oh my God, right?!

Well, we have something that will cure all your ills.

Relax, my daddy will get you a drink.

Thank you.

That'll take the edge off.

Thank you.

And now...

IT'S YOUR TURN ON THE TABLE!

The fuck are you doing to me?! I didn't do anything.

I only answered the phone!

Bonesaw, stat.

Daddy's got a phone call to make.

Oh God no!

It's gonna be a life-changing procedure!

Hello? Yes.

Shut up and listen. I need your help. With a priest.

Yeah! A fuckin' priest! Sissy?

Keep it down! Daddy's on the phone!

Thank you Sissy.

Sorry Daddy.

It's a priest. He showed up at the club today and killed Buddy

and Trisha. I want you to kill him and then

chop his fuckin' balls off.

When do you want it done?

Tonight!

Payment?

Payment on delivery of his goddamn nut sack! FUCK!!

Is everything okay Daddy??

It will be. I called Diablo.

He scares me, but he's sooooo cute.

He'd scare God himself. And now he's after you!

You hear me? He's after you!

YOU FUCKING PRIEST!

I got us Whappy Meals.

What are we celebrating?

Doing the Lord's work.

Whoop-de-doo!

Do not mock the Lord!

Jesus, I'm sorry. I won't say it again.

Good.

Shit.

We both get a My Little Horsie.

I used to fucking love My Little Horsie.

So how long can I stay here?

As long as you need.

What if you get yourself killed?

Then you'll go somewhere else.

And you're okay with that?

It is what it is.

Jesus. I thought you were different.

I am different.

Well I thought that you were willing to fight or care or

some shit.

I don't understand.

You said that something bad must have happened to me once.

In another life.

You wanna know what happened? I figured it out.

Life is just random shit and there is no answer.

I mean shit look at you: walkin' around being all nice and holy

and shit and you're shot to death and brought back as an

autistic rage monster.

And I thought that I was the only one that understood that

shit.

And then I saw you shoot that guy in the garage.

We should get married.

What? We should. I'm perfect for you.

I know that you kill bad people and I like that.

The Lord kills people.

And we should get married.

No, no.

Fine. I got you a present you miserable fuck.

I don't need this. I've abandoned the church of God.

Pull out the bottom of it.

It's a cross for the...

...Church of the Lord!

Thank you Amy.

Can I have a hug?

I'm not comfortable touching people.

Get over here and give me a hug.

Hey priest dude, I've gotta put your nutsack in

this fuckin' bag!

Wait!

Don't go.

It's my calling.

What's up Daddy-o?

You're interfering with the Lord's work.

I guess that's why they call me El Diablo.

The devil!

You bet your saintly ass.

Surrender now and meet your righteous punishment.

Oooh. Oh. This is gonna be fun.

You do know how to fight right bro?

I mete out justice.

Oh goody.

Sure you wanna fight in a dress bro?

Everyone's gonna say you're a pussy.

Whoo! Look at us! Yin and Yang, Batman and Robin,

the Pope and whatever kid he's ass fucking.

I'm going to pump you full of the Lord's wrath.

That's a little gay. Let's try threats...

I'm gonna beat you 'till your eyes bleed.

Boom!

Come on, you wanna fight like a man don't you bro?

I'm more than a man.

You know what, let's give you a fighting chance.

I'll give you a free shot okay?

Come on, I'm not gonna flinch or nothing.

TAKE IT!

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Motherfucker! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!

How many lashes did Jesus get before he died?

39? Let's see how many you can take before you die

fucker.

Who the fuck are you?

I'm the other arm of the Lord.

Before I die, I'm gonna bite your fucking head off bitch.

In nomine patre et filis et spiritus fuck you!

No. You can't die on me damnit! No you can't die!

I need you! No!!!

I know what to do!

Amy?

Father?

Oh no you don't.

Oh Amy, you're saving me.

But now you've got to fuck me the rest of the way back to

life.

It's the Lord's will.

Yeah! Ride me big daddy! Oh yah! Ugh!

Ugh! Ahh! Ahh!

Ah, yeah! Ugh, ugh, ugh!

Oh yeah! Squeeze 'em! Yeah! Oh!

Mmmm. Father. Yeah ohhhhhh.

Praise the Loooooord!!!!

Hallelujah.

I'm busy.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,

Fuck, Double Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!

What's wrong Daddy?

Diablo's dead.

Really?

Even worse, the Priest has disappeared.

They can't find him anywhere.

FUCK!

If he can kill Diablo he can kill anybody.

I am aware of that you fucking jizz pile!

What are we gonna do Daddy?

I am fuckin' thinkin' here!

Alright, get out to the tracks we annexed last year.

Start recruitin'. Your He/She Army better actually

be a fuckin' army by the time that priest gets there.

Ambush that fuck and do whatever you want with him.

You're the best Daddy in the whole world. What about you?

I think I know the right guy to help me come up with plan B.

Blank?! Get in here!

Mr. McFarlane?

Want me to finish you off Daddy?

Oh, you're too kind.

I'll give you two a minute.

Oh no you won't, you watch while Daddy talks to you.

And if you look away, I'll make you do me next.

Right Daddy?

Right sweetheart.

I'll get you for this Sissy.

Sure you will, you big bad police man.

Blank, you're gonna get out there and spread some

misinformation.

Sissy's gonna build up an army at the tracks and I'm cook up

something else.

I need you to spread word we skipped town for a few weeks.

Whatever you say Mr. McFarlane.

Good boy. Blank, you can go now.

Sissy... Get the fuck out of here.

Right away Daddy.

You could have stopped this. You could've saved us.

You could have stopped this. You could've saved us.

Fucking coward! You could have stopped this.

You could've saved us. RAAAAAAGH-

You're up.

I apologize.

No worries. You've seen plenty more of me.

Where are my vestments?

That Diablo guy ripped your stuff to shit, so I got you some

new stuff. Hey.

There's some more stuff on the table. Go take a look.

Where did you get the money for this?

I didn't steal it if that's what you're implying.

You're not the only one that's full of surprises around here.

I have to go.

Do the Lord's work. I know. Come here. Lean down.

Officer Blank was here today.

He told me to tell you that Sissy is at the dirt bike

track near the railroad on

the outskirts of town. There's a new ride waitin' for

you out back, I hope you like it.

I like walking.

Have a nice night, be home by ten.

Is something wrong?

You're supposed to kiss me.

Oh.

Maybe some day you'll get the hang of this.

In the name of the Lord.

I guess I'll show him the rings later.

You guys wanna buy some... icing sugar?

I'm on a diet.

Me too.

Oh...

Oh, shit! We didn't know it was you coming.

We didn't know.

There's a bunch of what do you call 'em

in there.

Fornicators.

Ha, there's a ton of them in there.

Will you help me in my work brothers?

We don't want to die.

See no evil. Speak no evil.

Oh fuck.

Serve no evil!

I thought Jesus loved me.

Jesus does love you. I just think you're a cock-sucking

scumbag.

Language father.

So it ends for all harlots and jezebels.

I've got a surprise for you father.

Demon!!

I've got my own little army of He/She's who can't

wait to get their little hands on your innocent body.

I will not be corrupted.

You haven't even seen what they can do. Or how hot you'd look.

I've got a smokin' tune for all my friends in black and white

out there in radio land. The symphony of incisions!

What're you gonna do honey, pray about it?

My prayer's have been answered.

Are you alright?

They made me do it!

The road to hell is paved with little steps.

Look familiar?

I don't think you've got enough bullets honey.

I've got my whole sexy gang here.

Move another step and this party's really gonna get

started.

Is he dead?

Bulletproof vests are cheating!

Dance for me honey.

I can't believe you really shot the midget.

You're gonna make one helluva He/She.

You are damned.

You don't like my sexy shield?

Repent your sins and receive absolution in the name of the

Lord.

You only got one bullet left sweetheart - you might as

well surrender now!

Sometimes the Lord provides, other times midgets do.

What?

Meow?

Well fuck my ass and call me a slut.

Agh! Ugh. Ugh. What are you doing?

Witches burn.

Amy? Amy?

Amy!!!!!!! Gah! AMY!!

Father Bane? Father Bane, are you there?

Shit.

If you move a muscle I will kill you.

Fuck!

Put your gun on the altar and turn around, very slowly.

I'm here to help man. Jesus.

My name isn't Jesus. It's Bane. Augustus Bane.

Father Augustus Bane.

Are you going to put the gun down Father Augustus Bane?

Can't believe you're still breathing after killing the

MacFarlane kids.

Everyone's looking for you.

I want Dokes MacFarlane to find me.

Well, I found Dokes MacFarlane.

You did?

We can't pin anything on him because there are too

many dirty cops.

But I can take you to him and help you work your magic.

Magic is a tool of Satan!

It's a turn of phrase, do not fucking shoot me! I work for the

Lord.

Praise the Lord.

We can't use my squad car to take us to him.

Amy provides.

You go ahead, I'll stay here and cover the front in case

anybody shows up.

Go with God.

God doesn't even care.

Ugh. No, no, NOOO!

Amy?

Father? Uh. Oh Thank God you're here!

Dokes showed up at the motel the

minute you left. Hey, aren't you gonna cut me down?

There's no wheelchair.

You asshole! Just fuckin' cut me down.

But I need to be the Lord's strong...

I know - you gotta be the Lord's right arm.

I'll ride the Lord's back.

Hey!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Do not shoot me! It's Officer Blank.

You were supposed to be covering the front.

I heard gunshots then they suddenly stopped.

Here, gimme the girl. I'll get her out of here and I'll come

back and help you.

You're a true member of the faith.

I've got him Mr. McFarlane, come out from

wherever you are.

Judas!

Good for you Officer, good for fucking you.

Hello priesty. I made something for you.

Here's how we're gonna start this little party.

Father, you're gonna stand with your arms raised up here

and here and your feet down here. And then it's

crucifying time!!!

I will not do what you want.

Blank, stay. See, now I know you won't do anything I

tell you because you're a certifiable crusading

nut-buster. But I feel that this girl might

mean something to you. Which is why I invited

another couple of friends along to the party. Ladies?!

Welcome to the party.

Don't forget my favorite! This is Bertha.

Crippled whores don't need no legs right?

- Raagh! - No!

I knew he cared! Ladies, lay the cripple out!

Let me Go! Fuck you!

Oh don't worry... We'll get to that!

Now what's your favorite position fuck-tube?

- Ugh! - Speak up, I can't hear you!

Oh, what about you Padre?

Damn you.

You're not bringing much to the table either asshole.

I've been inspired. We'll go with missionary.

Ladies, give papa some sugar.

I will kill you if you make me.

Well you skid mark of a religion, I'm going to ask you

to take your spot up there. If you don't, I'm

going to cut off one of her limbs. And then I'm gonna ask

you again. If you ain't co-operatin' she ain't

ambulatin'!

Do what he wants!

I will not be tempted.

Please. Please, you don't have to do this.

He'll never give up!!

Honey, look on the bright side no matter how this ends, I still

get to fuck you up the ass.

Please, please no. No please no. No! Oh God! Agh!

Help me! Agh! No! Nooo! No!

- Dokes. - Nooo!!!!

Dokes!

Dokes!!!

What?!

I have a question for you.

Ugh. Ladies, gag her.

Let me go you fuckin' psychos!

What's poppin' penguin?

Has Officer Blank worked for you for a while?

Shut the fuck up Father.

Yes, cunt-fuck, he's worked for me for years.

He's not very loyal.

Get out of the way Dokes and let me kill this fuck.

Shut the fuck up Blank.

I need to kill him.

He killed my whole goddamn family. He is MINE.

You put that gun on the floor or I'll make you eat

your own fuckin' balls.

You gotta be kidding me.

On the fuckin' floor.

Fuck!

Three steps back. Take 'em!

Goddamnit!

You were saying?

Do you want to know how I found Buddy and Trisha?

I have been wondering.

Officer Blank told me.

You MOTHER-FUCKER!!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no! No!

Eat this you giant fucking hemorrhoid!

Happy fuckin' birthday! Ragh!

Holy Shit!

Agh.

Whoo!

Thank you Padre.

Well, now I'm conflicted.

If you move another inch, I'm gonna blow out every joint in

your fuckin' body.

Oh God!

I wanna have a heart to heart Padre. Now here's my

conundrum. You killed every member of my family.

Admittedly, Buddy was a fuck up and Sissy, hm-hm, was

barely human, but Trisha had some real fuckin' potential.

And yet now you've done me an invaluable favour.

And so I've hurt you - a lot. And I did promise myself that I

was going to have a threesome with your eye sockets and that

collection of fuck holes over there.

What?

Yet now I can't decide whether to end you quickly or

crucify you.

I have one request.

Let's hear it.

Let me die with my cross in my hand.

Now that we can do. Get 'er out Padre.

Oh what the heck, I'm just gonna shoot you. Argh!

I would like to say that this gives me no pleasure, but

you really, really need to have a few extra holes put in

your fuckin' face! Any last words nut sack?!

Fudda Muhludda.

What was that?

Vengeance is mine, thus saith THE LORD!!!

Ooooooh fuuuuck!

Aaagh!

In the name of the Lord, I pronounce you damned to hell you

pitiless buttfucking scum.

All hail gunfire.

Amen.

The Priest is dead.

But, is he?

Yeah, he's dead.

But is he?

Are you even listening? He's really dead.

He's all the way dead.

But is he?!

Who are you talking to?

Subtitles by explosiveskull