All language subtitles for Flimsy.Company.2019.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H264-FGT

- I'm sorry about the love
thing.

And the sex thing.

It's just...

I guess I didn't know what I was
saying...

until I said it.

Except...

I said it.

- So you're saying you don't
love me?

- I'm not saying I...

don't love you.

Or that I might not love you.

One of these days.

I just didn't mean it when I
said it.

I used to think that we had an
unlimited

amount of opportunity to

reinvent and define
ourselves with the arrival

of every new sunrise.

Now I'm not so sure.

Anyway.

Thank you

for not coming inside of me.

I really appreciate it.

I wasn't in my right mind last
night.

- You're tuned to Catonsville
Public Radio

on this fine Tuesday morning.

Edward Elgar's Enigma
Variations as performed

by the Davis Senior High
School Symphony Orchestra

under the direction of Angelo
Moreno

brings another hour of light
classical favorites to a close.

Two minutes shy of the top of
the hour,

so that means it's time for us
to check in

with our very own Ralph Kirk

for an update on your morning
commute.

How's it looking out there,
Ralph?

Ralph?

- Shelby!

Thank you.

This traffic report is brought
to you by

Cosima at Mill Number One.

You're looking at a free and
easy ride

on the topside of the beltway

in a fairly incident-free
stretch from Perring Parkway

all the way to the 795 split.

Southbound Harbor Tunnel, this
is a mess.

You are jammed with both lanes
closed

due to an overturned tractor
trailer.

Fire and police are on the scene

and you've got rubbernecking
every which way.

I'm Ralph Kirk for
Catonsville Public Radio.

- Thanks, Ralph.

Support for this morning's
selection

of classical music favorites
is brought to you by

Lily Schlump with Yerman
and Conklin Realty.

Don't trust the purchase of your
new home

or the sale of your existing
one to just anybody.

"Think Schlump,"

Lily Schlump, Yerman and Conklin
Realty.

So many more classical music
favorites

coming up at the top of the
hour,

so keep your dial tuned to
Catonsville Public Radio.

- Looks like you still have a
soft spot

for the novelty of yesteryear.

- Thank you for taking time out
of your

presumably very busy day
to share a moment with us.

- The pleasure is all mine.

I couldn't be happier
to have this dialogue

with the good folks over at
Baltimore Commerce Journal.

- Very good.

Now, Mr. Prattleton--

- Please, call me Joel.

- You're something of a rising
star

here at Rosen, Prattleton,
Nagel & Suffield.

In just a few short
years, you've graduated

from business school
and established yourself

as this firm's preeminent
brand marketing manager.

How did you pull off such a
lofty feat?

- Well, Ashley,

with modesty

and in all candor,

I like to think of myself as
something of

a modern day Horatio Alger
success story.

The embodiment and
personification

of capitalist opportunity for
all,

a triumph of American
exceptionalism.

- On the subject of opportunity,

as Tyler Prattleton's only
scion and the only heir

to his enormous publishing
empire,

some might posit that you're
being groomed

as his eventual successor.

- Right now, the primary focus
in my life

is devoting my abilities
to our valued clients

here at Rosen, Prattleton,
Nagel & Suffield.

- Would you deny that you're in
line

to succeed your father at the
reins

of Prattleton Publishing?

- I would argue that my
available energies

are more wisely utilized
by listening to the needs

of our current clients and
serving them

as capably as I possibly can.

- I would counter

that you're merely biding your
time

with a honey of a deal that
landed you

a vanity partnership at the very
firm

that manages your father's
brand.

- That would seem to be a
misguided and ill-advised use

of my intellect and personal
skill set.

- In short,

where would you find yourself

if it weren't for the good
graces

of your family's storied
lineage?

- If not for the love and
support of our parents,

where would any of us find
ourselves?

It just doesn't seem to be an
issue

that is particularly
exclusive to me or my family.

- Very few people in the
Baltimore business community

cast a shadow as outsized
as your father's.

- I certainly can't deny that.

But no one can say that
they have the luxury

of choosing the sort of
life that we're born into.

- Is there any room in the
already

crowded personal narrative
of Joel Prattleton

to consider the crushing
socioeconomic and

racial divide that is
cannibalizing our city

from the inside out?

- Well, sure.

It's something that we
think about and reflect upon

all of the time.

- Who's we?

- You know.

The proverbial "we."

- Our collective lack of moral
conscience?

- I just think

that sometimes we all find
ourselves

lost in the weeds of the
theoretical

and everybody deserves
the occasional reprieve

from wearing the weight of the
world upon one's shoulders.

- What a luxury of incalculable
worth.

- We have an appointment.

- Aneta?

- Kostadinova.

- And Natalya--

- Aleksandrova.

- Since you're both new
patients,

I'm just need to collect some
more information from you.

So fill this out if you would.

- Blogodaria.

- Is all of this really
necessary?

- I'm sorry?

- The unrelenting cacophony

of traditional seasonal
favorites?

- Be sure to stick with us
after the top of the hour

and join me on a seafaring
search

for reclusive Eastern Shore
culinary wizard Roy Gussy

and his much-sought-after recipe

for crab and shrimp au gratin.

Doesn't that sound delicious,
folks?

If you're only just now
joining us here on Charm TV,

our guest is Priscilla
Hollingsworth.

She's here to talk about her new
book,

"I Thought I Had Cancer, But I
Didn't."

A memoir, if you will,
chronicling her whirlwind experience

coming perilously close to
death,

except she didn't,

everything's okay,

and she's here to talk with
us on the program today.

Please join me in welcoming
Miss Hollingsworth.

- Thanks.

Thanks for having me.

- So you thought you had cancer.

- Yep.

- But you didn't.

- I know, right?

- Maybe delve into the
swirling mix of emotions

I'm sure you must have
experienced during this whole

excruciating affair.

Take us inside the
"story behind the story."

- Right, yeah.

Well, um.

I thought I had cancer.

- Right.

- But I didn't.

- Perhaps with the broadest
strokes of an orator's brush,

paint a picture of your
mind set at the time.

Outline some of the very trying
challenges

I'm sure you had to face.

- Then you wouldn't have
a reason to buy the book,

now would you?

Wait, which camera am I looking
at here?

This one?

Purchase my book at all your

fine local booksellers
everywhere.

You won't regret it.

Well, I mean

if a young person had cancer,

that'd be really scary. So...

it's almost like a horror genre.

Except that it's
real

and it really happened.

- I know! To me!

I didn't say that it went well.

On the plus side,

I do think that you can
really see my passion

to sell the book shining
through.

- Miss Hollingsworth,

part of your responsibility as a
member of

the Prattleton Publishing family

is to make a healthy effort
to promote your title

and thus your brand as an
emerging author.

And you are not holding up
your end of the bargain.

- I don't know what you expect
me to...

I don't know, what?

- Feign an interest in being
engaged.

Very simple.

- I really feel like the work
should just speak for itself.

It has become a farcical
spectacle

for me to keep hashing this
out over and over again

when the whole point of this
exercise

was for me to sit down and
come up with the most concise

and effective way of
communicating an idea

in the most enjoyable way
possible.

- I see.

- So I did that.

So why now must I be
obligated to go out there

and jibber-jabber through
the whole whoever-what

on a daily basis with a
bunch of Nancy Nobodies

and Jerry Come Latelies?

- You will do it

because the terms of
your advance oblige you

to make a reasonable effort
to promote your title

and your brand as an author.

- Let me see what I can do.

It's been a tough year
for ideas.

- I would actually argue that
it's been

a banner year for ideas.

But, unfortunately, in
terms of their execution

and to the question of how much
energy

and how many resources have been
allocated

in pursuit of those ideas,

it's been a much more lackluster
stretch.

- Joel?

Is that you?

- Sure, why not?

- Thought so.

- Guilty as charged.

- You guys here to see Alan?

- No, I'm just...

just here for my morning coffee.

- Morning buzz with a
half-shot of raspberry?

- You know me so well.

- Care to introduce me to your
friend?

- I'm Jonathan.

- Jonathan, nice to meet you.

Joel never was one for
introductions.

- Nice to meet you too...

- Shawnee.

- Shawnee.

- How'd you find yourself
keeping

such exquisite company,
Jonathan?

- I am the senior in-house
brand marketing consultant

at Rosen, Prattleton, Nagel &
Suffield.

So, of course, we all know Joel
here.

- Of course.

- I guess I should be leaving
you two to your devices.

Coffee's on me.

Just consider it complements of
the house.

Excuse me.

- Shawnee?

I just wanted to thank you
for the complimentary coffee.

It was a truly unnecessary
gesture,

which is why I suppose I appreciated it all that much more.

- Yeah, no worries.

Make it a great day.

- So, what was that all about?

- I'm sorry.

Is the music too soft?

- Uh uh.

- I just love the holidays.

- So what's going on in the
world?

- Izvinyavai?

- I said, "what's going on in
the world?"

How long is it going to be

before I see Doctor Grappa?

- Ma'am.

I can assure you

that once Doctor Grappa
has attended to his

previously scheduled
appointments,

we'll be able to fit you right
in.

- But this is a dental
emergency.

- Ma'am.

Doctor Grappa will address

your dental emergency in due
course.

Thank you in advance for your
patience and understanding.

- What a load of malarkey.

- You know,

I am just not feeling it today.

- Hmm.

- Do you think there are people
out there

who do what we do and take genuine pleasure in what they do?

- Are you saying that you're
lacking in job satisfaction?

- That's not exactly it.

But then,

I rarely wear a smile on my face

when I walk into work everyday.

- Everybody takes joy in
different things

in their own unique way.

- I wonder

if I am surreptitiously
sabotaging my best efforts

because of an underlying dislike
of myself

and an ingrained distrust
of an established process.

- I think that you're
once again over-analyzing

and intellectualizing something
that

is supposed to be a fun,
effortless

and sometimes even enjoyable
experience.

- Well? What's the alternative?

- It could start with something
as simple

as how you greet the day.

It's about interrupting repetitive and detrimental thoughts

and seeing what impact that
has on your everyday behavior.

- That sounds like an awfully
lofty feat.

- Why isn't today the day

that you sever your
addiction to all of the

compulsive habits that
contribute to your inability

to follow through on
achieving established goals?

- Maybe I just don't want to.

I like the way that I live.

I have very loosely
defined medium term goals

that rarely consume a burdensome
amount of

my time and energy.

It's a comfortable place for me
to be

and I happen to think
that's all perfectly peachy,

for now.

- Maybe that's because
you haven't fully realized

the negative repercussions of
your actions and decisions.

You're frittering away
your most precious resource

and undervalued asset:

your vital years,

rich with promise and good
health.

- Then I guess them's the
breaks.

- I guess so.

- Thanks for joining us.

I'm Petunia Floringbrickle.

Sickness.

Health.

Despair.

Solace.

Uncertainty.

Revelation.

This is the story of our guest,

author Priscilla Hollingsworth.

Her debut memoir,

"Evocation of a Lost American
- One Woman's Journey,"

was the recipient of an
honorable mention

at the 2012 Mid-Atlantic
Regional Book Festival.

Now, she finds herself here in
our studio

to discuss her latest book,

the unambiguously titled,

"I Thought I Had Cancer, But I
Didn't."

Ms. Hollingsworth,

thank you for taking the
time to share with us today.

- Thank you for...

Yep.

- Do you believe the memoir
as a narrative tradition

is in crisis?

- I think that it is wonderful

that so many people are
sharing their personal

experiences and
perspectives with the world.

- Can you point to a recent
memoir

that you've personally enjoyed?

- Well, I've been busy
writing my own, so...

come on, who's got time for
that?

- Let's talk about the
title of your new book.

- Oh yes, let's do.

- Was there ever a moment in
which

you considered another title
to be more appropriate?

- I don't see what you mean.

- Well,

in your title you boldly
propose your central conflict.

You thought you had cancer.

- Oh yeah, I sure did.

- And yet, in the same breath,

you reveal the resolution
of that conflict.

You didn't.

- Yeah.

My publisher wasn't crazy
about the original title,

I can tell you that much.

- Which was?

- I'm sorry?

- What was the original
title of your book?

I don't have to
say, do I?

The original
title of the book was what?

- "Terminally Ill For Awhile."

- "Terminally Ill" ...

- "For Awhile."

Because my thinking was,

aren't we all terminally ill for
awhile?

Although, sometimes it's
just a little while.

- Your critics say that
this book trivializes

the very real heartbreak and
tragedy

that someone unfortunate enough

to be in the throes of an
incurable illness would feel.

- Well, I say that's just
a big of bunch of hooey.

- Really?

- Yes!

Because that's not what
this book is about.

Them or my critics.

This book is about me!

That's what it's about.

- The memoir in crisis,

this hour of the Petunia
Floringbrickle Show.

If you're just now tuning in,

our guest is esteemed author
Priscilla Hollingsworth,

who will be with us for ...
the remainder of the hour.

So please, dear listeners,

don't touch that dial.

- So how are you liking
it here in the States?

- I love America.

I love the 21st century.

- Aw, that's swell.

- I like American movies very
much.

- Really?

- Yes! Matt Damon.

I like Matt Damon very much.

- So what's your favorite movie?

- I think "Spaceballs."

- Really?

- Yes, "Spaceballs" is really
the best.

- That's a good one.

I like movies.

You know, with a couple of
laughs.

The lighter stuff.

- Mhm.

- So?

- Did you see the news?

- Yeah.

- I probably should have called
you

before word started getting
around.

- That guy.

- His family is understandably
devastated.

- It certainly doesn't look
good.

- I didn't say that it looked
good.

- I didn't say that you did.

- He swore up and down it was
that Jerry guy who set him up.

It's just sad that his family
probably won't ever know

what really happened.

- Except what was he doing
with Jerry in the first place?

Why else were they both there at
the house

if they weren't...

- You know none of that
proves anything anyway.

- It just doesn't add up.

And it doesn't look good.

- Well.

That's life in the big city,
huh, kid?

- This is maybe

the worst book tour event I've
ever seen.

- I know.

It's so sad and pathetic

that I actually feel morally
guilty about goofing on it.

- What are you doing?

- What does it look like I'm
doing?

I'm autographing my book

so that you'll have
signed copies in stock.

- You know that once you
sign copies of those books

we can't return them to the
publisher

and get our money back.

- You know what?

It's not my fault that
you didn't make any effort

to promote my in-store
appearance!

- We did everything we could
to promote your appearance!

It's not our fault no one cares
about your pointless book.

- Burn...

- In publishing news this week,

local author Priscilla
Hollingsworth

sets a new sales record.

Although you'd have to wonder

if it's the sort of
record that her publisher

would be proud to tout.

Ms. Hollingsworth's new memoir,

"I Thought I Had Cancer, But I
Didn't,"

debuted to the worst opening
week of sales

of any book release in recent
history.

Selling a mere seven copies
nationwide.

Anyway, we tracked down
one of the few people

who actually purchased
this beleaguered tome.

I think we have him on the
phone with us right now.

Hello there.

Hello?

Okay, well
let's get right to it.

How was it?

Oh, it was
horrible!

- Buck up, squirt.

There's always a light
at the end of the tunnel.

- I know what everyone
must be saying about me

behind my back.

That I'm a laughing stock!

I'm a farce.

A pitiful rube.

- I personally think that
your whole assessment

of the situation more accurately
reflects

your narcissistic
preoccupation with yourself.

But who am I kidding?

- I don't understand.

- The entire supposition of your
argument

is that everyone is so absorbed

in your perceived cult of
personality

that they're constantly
speculating on your failures

and shortcomings as a human
being.

- They're not?

- Nevermind.

Forget I said anything.

Can I buy you a drink?

- It's utterly useless!

I accept defeat.

- Priscilla.

We're all frauds and we're all
failures.

It's really okay.

You just have to have a sort of

light-hearted spirit
about the whole thing.

Otherwise, you will make
yourself mental.

- I never should have written
that book.

What was I thinking?

- It's important to
confront your failures.

If you can look at it with a
detached eye,

maybe you can detach yourself
from

some of the disappointment
you're feeling.

- I yearn to conjure the wild
imagination of my inner soul.

- Maybe you should try
your hand at poetry.

- Is this your idea at a
solution?

- You seem to have a knack for
it.

You should take it as a
compliment.

Beaudelaire was a real rascal.

- People spend so much of their
lives judging other people.

And yes, I think that to some
extent

we all make choices in our
lives.

But, in a lot of ways,

we have no choice to be
anyone other than who we are.

We are who we are,

and we can work to improve
certain aspects

of our chosen behavior,

but it's really difficult
to be anyone other

than who we are.

Ugh.

It's an endless cycle of
loathing.

We wish that other people
would change for us,

we get upset at them
for being so inflexible,

they get upset at us
for being disappointed,

we get upset at ourselves
for being so controlling,

and so it goes.

- That's an awfully dire leap

from the uplifting pleasantries
I was attempting to muster.

- I guess that's because there's
bluster

and then there's honesty.

- I must bid you adieu.

There is a taxi stand two blocks
up.

You play it safe out there.

I have
something to get off my chest.

- I'm listening.

- There are a lot of reasons
not to be happy in this world.

To wake up everyday and look out

on a gray and overcast sky

and just dread the thought of
hobnobbing

with your contemporaries
and acquaintances.

But locking me away in a room
with just my own thoughts

and a pen and notebook paper.

I'm just saying that's
not such a great idea.

Sometimes it brings out the
worst in me.

When I start writing, I get
into a mood. But then...

I've been in that mood for
as long as I can remember.

- I think you should have
another drink.

- You know what?

You should buy a plane.

- Hey.

Aren't you Tyler's boy?

- Miss Hollingsworth,

in the flesh.

- Prattleton Junior, in all
of your repugnant glory.

- I see that your new book had
an exciting launch last week.

- It's been a barrel of laughs.

- Well, hey, that's life
in the big city, huh, kid?

- You know, Goldie Hawn's
daughter?

- No, I'm sorry.

It just doesn't ring a bell.

- Seriously?

How do you not know who Kate
Hudson is?

People tell me I look
like her all the time.

Seriously?

- So what do you do for a
living?

- I imagine you've heard me on
the radio.

104 The Jammer?

Baltimore's Best Rock Radio?

Crazy Sammy and the Morning
Drive-Time Crack-Up Crew?

Anyway, I do a lot of voiceover
work

for FM radio commercials.

- Oh, that sounds intriguing.

Anything I might recognize?

- "If you haven't been to visit
Ikaros

"at our new location in
Greektown,

"it's like you've never been at
all.

"Enjoy the dishes you love

"in an intimate new locale,

"served with a fresh new spirit

"Come back and see us.

"Your table is waiting."

- No, I'm sorry.

- I can't believe you don't
know who Kate Hudson is.

- Good morning and welcome
to another lovely day

here in Maryland.

And it couldn't be a more
perfect day

to kick off our spring
fund-raising campaign.

I'm sure that, right now,

you're idling in weekday morning
traffic

with road rage and tempers
flaring at every turn.

Isn't it refreshing to know
that you can find solace

in our curated selection of
light classical music favorites?

But have you ever
wondered how do we do it?

Day after day, week after
week, month after month.

How is it that we're able to
continue to offer our listeners

such wonderful music and
thoughtful programming?

Well, the answer is you.

That's right,

none of this would be
possible without the support

of dedicated listeners like you,

who can be relied upon
to pledge their support

time and time again for
the content and programming

that they enjoy on
Catonsville Public Radio.

If you haven't already,
won't you take a moment

to join our family of listener
members?

Volunteers are standing
by to take your call.

Days
like this are a bit of a tease.

An open-ended invitation
to put pen to paper

and delight in one's
imagination.

But there is always an unease,

a modicum of tension.

What, pray tell, will be
the next shoe to drop?

- Hello?

- Ms. Hollingsworth.

- Mr. Prattleton.

- I regret to inform you
that our publishing concern

has decided to sever its professional relationship with you.

- I understand.

- We will be honoring the
terms of our original agreement

and won't be requesting a
return on your initial advance,

as we've come to the
conclusion that you have indeed

made a good faith effort,

however hapless,

to promote your brand in the
public realm.

- I thought I was in the
business of selling books.

- And you were a colossal
failure at that as well.

I must now bid you a fond
farewell,

as we are anxiously awaiting the
return

of all unsold copies of your
memoir

so that we may promptly
haul them to the landfill.

Good day.

- Well then.

- You know,

lately I've been thinking
a lot about visiting Ikaros

at their new location in
Greektown.

I hear that they're serving
up the dishes we love

in an inviting new locale
with a fresh new spirit.

- That campaign really seems
to have fulfilled its purpose.

- What do you mean?

- The management at
Ikaros has been saturating

the local radio market with that
new spot.

- Huh.

I must have missed it.

I just feel like it's time
to come back and see them.

Like my table is waiting.

That's all.

It was six years ago.

I remember feeling so full
of youthful enthusiasm

and headstrong optimism,

so disciplined and
committed to the enterprise,

but I feel like I don't
know that person anymore.

I wouldn't be able to
pick her out of a lineup.

Sometimes I wonder if it's all
in vain

and it's all for naught.

What is happiness?

What's the point?

- All day long with these
nincompoops.

Where's Jonathan?

- He took a half day.

- A half day?

- Yeah.

- Does anyone around here ever
pause

to consider my professional
needs?

- He left a half hour ago.

- Do I have any meeting
scheduled for this afternoon?

- None that I know of.

It's such a wonderful time

to be alive.

Such a fantastic moment to feel
unburdened

by anything and everything
that holds us back.

Perhaps I've simply been
confusing nervous excitement

with fear all along.

They both have a familiar
flavor,

a similar burn in the pit of my
stomach.

How long have I subjugated
myself

to the inane tasks and
duties that comprise

every day of my life?

- Wait a minute.

Who are you?

- Allow me to introduce myself.

Shelby Breadwine,
Catonsville Public Radio.

- How'd you get in here?

- Mr. Prattleton, Joel, if I
may.

We are in the full thrust of
our spring fund-raising drive

and I would love to talk
to you about all the ways

you might be able to support
the local public radio

that you and I both love
and cherish so much.

- I could do without
those Saturday game shows.

- You must be confusing us
with another radio outfit.

- You know, that one fellow
who's always cracking jokes.

You know the one.

- Mr. Prattleton,

as an independent local media
concern,

we rely upon the kind patronage

of such pillars of the
community as yourself.

Think of all the potential
media outreach opportunities

for Rosen, Prattleton, Nagel &
Suffield.

- Well, you certainly do an
excellent job

of restating the obvious with a
maximum

of unnecessary hyperbole.

What would you suggest?

- You could perhaps underwrite
our morning drive-time block

of light classical music
favorites.

Or perhaps the second hour of

The Petunia Floringbrickle Show.

- That second hour of book tour
interviews

is always a snooze.

- Right.

- It's coming to me.

"When your choice

"of brand marketing
manager matters the most,

"place your trust

"in Rosen, Prattleton,

"Nagel & Suffield."

- It has quite the ring to it.

Every
human being on this planet

sees themselves as the
centerpiece

of their own heroic struggle,

except our combined want
exceeds our natural resources

and our popular culture.

We crave what we can't have
and the people who have it

don't appreciate their own good
fortune.

We should all be more thankful
for simple everyday victories

like sunshine, company and
togetherness

and that we're not being eaten
alive

by a hungry grizzly bear.

- Hello. Operator?

Yes, I'd like the number
for a Miss Hollingsworth

in Baltimore, Maryland.

First name of Priscilla.

Edgevale Road.

Of course I'll hold.

I guess this is it.

You guess this is
what?

- Our last fresh start.

- Oh that.

It's as if you expect me to be
grateful

which just leaves me
feel all the more dubious

about your intentions.

- I'll have you know, I'm my own
man

and I'd like for you and
anyone within earshot

to truly understand that.

- Which is why you dragged me
out here

on this perfectly lovely weekday
morning.

- My father is my father

but his business is his
business.

- Which is all fine and dandy,

but don't delude yourself
for a second into thinking

that you are where you are
based solely on your own merits

and available opportunities.

- You hate me for it.

- No, I hate you for
a variety of otherwise

completely valid reasons

which I would be happy to
discuss with you

at a later date and time.

But, for now, let's try to
focus on the handful of things

that distinguish you as
the truly special person

you really are.

- Doing the right thing
means making apologies.

It's all about mending fences

and listening to new ideas.

- I always believed that
doing the wrong thing

was infinitely more
interesting and unpredictable.

Yet unpredictable endings rarely
dovetail

with desired outcomes.

- Bad choices, wrong turns,

boastful and arrogant pride,

now that's the stuff of great
drama.

- The weekend is upon us,
ladies!

So you know what that means.

It's time to come on down to
Federal Hill

and rock your socks off
at The Groove Lounge!

And gentlemen, VIP bottle
service is back

with $250 bottles of Knockov
vodka.

Think you'll find a cheaper
bottle on a Friday night?

You won't!

So come on down to The Groove
Lounge

and join all your pals from
Baltimore's Best Rock Radio

for Ice Cream Social Night!

Free mudslide shots for the
ladies while supplies last!

Valid only one per customer,
unwind responsibly.

Good?

Are you working on a
new book?

- Good.

- It is an expression of a
certain

"je ne sais quoi,"

a confrontation of all of
the dark places inside of us.

Our most indelicate obsessions,

things that we hide even
from our closest friends

and reminisce upon only in

the accommodating purr of
solitude.

- What are you trying to
convey to your readers?

- Be good. Be kind.

Stay weird. Spread love.

Because the world is full of
people

who will want to drag you down,

down in the dumps,

down where they are.

And you've gotta be strong

and you need to be bold

and you ought to be better than
all of it.

If your heart's gonna
remain on the right path.

- Do you think your heart
is on the right path?

- No one has a perfect heart.

And yes,

I've lost some of the joyous
enthusiasm

in the face of blunders and
betrayals

and missteps.

But you have to trudge forward

and sally forth.

- That's all well and good.

And I recognize the potential
here.

But...

it leaves me feeling unsure

as to exactly how

it's all going to pan out in the
end.

It sounds highly execution
dependent.

- Everything in life
is execution dependent.

And this is no exception!

Our inability to express
our tangled emotions

that lurk inside of us

and our flailing attempts
to communicate that

to our friends and
acquaintances,

that is the great tragedy
of the human experience.

- You can color me intrigued.

In the meantime,

I would like to offer you

something of a radical proposal.

- Ladies, you took the time
to swing into spring fashion,

but did you forget to
swing into Edgevale Bank

to speak to one of our financial
advisers

about opening a new high-yield
money market account?

Well, you better get
that skinny latte to go

and drop into one of
our numerous locations

right here in Baltimore City!

Don't worry, you'll
still have plenty of time

to go shoe shopping

because there just aren't
enough hours in the day,

am I right, ladies?

We've got neighborhood branches

in Rosebank, Evergreen,
Better Waverly, Pigtown,

Beverly Hills and Oakenshawe.

See you there.

Good?

Are we good over here?

- See?

You're crying right now.

What if we were with my family?

Or at an important work party?

And you're crying right now

without any of that pressure.

- Well I'm sorry.

I'm sorry you can't come
to terms with the fact

that I am human and I have
feelings

and it is a component
of humanity's goodness

that we feel compassion and
empathy!

- You and your feelings.

- Is this right?

I'm not sure this is right.

- Doesn't feel right.

- Perhaps.

But who ever said there
wasn't such a thing

as a free meal in this town?

Because, you know?

I'm so glad we're here.

It's been too long.

- You certainly seem
quite fired up about it.

- I have a lot of fond memories

of coming here for Sunday
brunch with Aunt Sandy.

Those were the days.

All the baby octopus you can
eat.

Isn't that every young man's
dream?

- Mhmm.

- The last memory I can still
cling to.

- We're constantly creating new
memories.

Everything we do every
day instantly becomes

a permanent fixture of the past.

- Except I feel

like I can't let go of those
moments.

It's like I can't bear
to see them relegated

to the ephemera of yesteryear.

- History is only an
intellectual concept.

What matters most is how we
live on the memory of others.

How we're received.

Did we give of ourselves as
generously as we could have?

Did we allow ourselves to love?

Did we pervert selfless love

with our own lustful and
selfish peculiarities?

- The moussaka is to die for

if you're are at all on the
fence about the souvlaki.

- Ladies and gentlemen!

Bienvenue, bon appetit,
etcetera.

It's my pleasure to introduce
these two talented artists

who will be performing and
presumably

delighting you here this
evening.

Won't you please join me in
welcoming

Lauren Aycock Anderson
and Rachel Anne Warren?

The little things

Discoveries

Uncovering insides of things

The tracing and tracking

The packing and unpacking

The waiting and move

The little things you do

But tell me

Are you

A good man

But tell me

Are you

A good man

He's the angle

And you're the worm

He got inside and you're lost
for words

The shoe didn't fit

And what of the stick

Well, I think that I
got the short end of it

There are nice people, to name
a few,

but there's nothing lasting

Or lacking of you

I am a loner, and I am alone

I have a heart that's only
halfway grown

But tell me

Are you

A good man

But tell me

Are you

A good man

I am the Mississippi

And you're running through it

I'm a reoccurring dream

But you never knew it

I'm a decent human being

But what do you care

I'm a moment in time

But you weren't there

So, tell me,

Are you

A good man

Tell me

Are you

A good man

So tell me

Are you

A good man

But tell me

Are you

A good man

- Mrs. Woodbourne?

- You must be Shelby Breadwine

from Catonsville Public Radio.

- I most certainly am.

- We would recognize that
voice just about anywhere.

Where are my manors?

Please, won't you come in?

- You're too generous.

- It's nothing in the least.

- So then,

why don't we start by talking
about

what Catonsville Public
Radio means to you?

- I suppose that I like it just
fine.

- Do you think that you could
ever live

without your favorite programs
on Catonsville Public Radio?

Or our exquisitely curated
selection

of light classical music
favorites?

- You know what people say.

Life goes on in spite of such
things.

- But Mrs. Woodbourne--

- Oh, Esther.

Please call me Esther.

- Are you saying that life
would march merrily along

without your local public
radio on your broadcast dial?

- Well, Braden would
be sorely disappointed.

I can be sure of that.

- Braden?

Who's Braden?

- Oh, Braden.

My darling son.

He couldn't live without
Catonsville Public Radio.

Truth be told,

you're his favorite.

He's listening in the
living room right now.

Why don't you go and
introduce yourself to him?

- Braden?

Braden?

Would you like to

share a moment and talk about

what local public radio means to
you?

Sacre bleu.

God dammit.

So, what
have we learned here?

- I would argue that the lesson
is

that no good deed goes
unpunished.

- I know that caution and
reflection

are not the principal attributes
most likely to come to mind

when reflecting upon your
life and your accomplishments.

But it stands to reason
these two traits might serve

to inform and guide you in the
future

as you seek to chart a
professional path for yourself.

- I do feel somewhat more
heartened

about the viability of the
process.

But I also certainly feel like
my mastery

of that process is a
whole lot more tenuous

than I previously imagined.

- I'm Shelby Breadwine

and you're tuned to
Catonsville Public Radio.

Thanks to thoughtful
listener members like you,

our latest fundraising campaign
is coming

to a successful finish.

If you have yet to make a pledge
yourself,

there's still plenty of
time for you to decide

what level of support is right
for you.

Five dollars a day?

25 dollars a month?

Well, at either of
those membership levels,

you can look forward to a
snazzy Catonsville Public Radio

luggage tag in your mailbox.

So please don't hesitate to
call now and pledge your support

for the local public radio that
you love.

Looks like it's time for your

final traffic report this
morning.

Ralph, are you there?

Can you hear me?

- Shelby!

I read you loud and clear.

This morning's traffic report
is brought to you by B,

A Bolton Hill Bistro.

Outer Loop,

you're gonna be coasting
from Hammonds Ferry Road

on up to the Key Bridge
with nary a delay in sight.

So it's lots of good news for
all of you motorists out there

braving the Beltway this
morning.

I'm Ralph Kirk for
Catonsville Public Radio.

- I've been thinking.

- Do tell.

- We didn't do it right.

- Oh, woe is you.

- I just sort of made the blind
assumption

that everything would
end up working itself out

as long as I had a capable team
in place.

- Well, who's crying now?

- I think I'm being held

to unrealistic standards for
achievement.

- I think you're being
too hard on yourself.

- We just didn't know any
better.

- I think you did the best that
you could have possibly done

under most if not all
circumstances.

So there.

- Sorry I'm late.

Northbound traffic on Charles
Street

was backed up all the
way to Fayette Street.

- Take a seat, Ralph.

- This is fancy.

What's the occasion?

- Ralph, you've been a valuable
part

of the Catonsville Public
Radio family for so long

and we are all so grateful
for your many years of service

to the operation.

But it is my sad duty to inform
you

we've fallen short on our spring
fundraising campaign goals.

As a result, everyone at the
station

is now forced to reconsider
how we can best allocate

our available resources.

- What are you getting at?

- Ralph, I mean,

let's face it, most of the time

you aren't even looking
at a live traffic report

or even reading updates or
bulletins

from state or local agencies!

- It's the same goddamned
traffic every goddamned morning.

- And don't insult my
intelligence

by pretending that I haven't
caught the smell of rotgut

on your breath leaving the
station

on more than a handful of
occasions.

- Who the hell cares?

- I don't know what to tell you.

If you can't control the
message,

you can't control anything.

That's exactly it.

I can't help you control the
message

if you can't tell me what the
message is in the first place.

And this is valuable time
that we're idly wasting.

Their subjective judgment is
not a proxy for your reality.

You want Better Homes and
Gardens?

I'll get you Better Homes and
Gardens!

But if you can't learn
how to control the message

then you're never going to
learn how to crush the deal.

This is getting us nowhere,
Lily.

Give my secretary a ring

and we'll find a way to
hash all of this out.

Kisses.

- Whoa!

Are you kidding me?

Are you fucking kidding me?!

Do you know what this is?

Do you care what this is?

This is a share row.

As in, share the fucking road!

Three feet!

You blind-ass motherfucker!

- These cyclists are
such a pain in the ass.

Who's going to come along

and give us motorists a fair
shake?

- Hey Kelly.

- Hey.

- I'm just wondering.

Is the internet acting funny
around here?

- Seems to be working fine for
me.

- It won't let me check
into my flight to Denver

tomorrow for whatever reason.

- Aw.

- It's the damnedest thing.

- I know.

- Well, I'll be sure to
keep you posted on that.

- Sounds like a plan to me!

- All right.

- Dad.

- I appreciate you finding the
time

to come and visit in person
despite your myriad daily

personal and professional
obligations.

- You know that I always cherish

the time we're afforded
together.

- Son,

it's all over.

The dream has dimmed

and the sun has set

on our carefree world of luxury.

- What are you talking about?

- That awful woman and her
horrible book

have destroyed my beloved
publishing company.

Although you seem to be taking
great joy

in her flimsy company as of
late.

- I don't understand exactly
what it is

that you're alluding to.

- I plan to resign as
chairman effective immediately

as we file for bankruptcy and
move forward

with auctioning off our catalog

and liquidating our assets.

That is what I am alluding to.

- But if you're resigning
as chairman and the--

- Allow me to dispel your
romantic ideal

of the way things ought to be.

You've disappointed all of us

with your obstinate
laissez-faire refusal to mature

and make the most of yourself.

You've had plenty of
opportunities

to remedy this disappointment

and so far your only response
has been

to thumb your nose at all of us

in contemptuous ambivalence.

Put simply,

you didn't do it right.

I'm sorry that I had to be the
one

to break the news to you.

- I suppose it softens
the sting a little bit.

- You received some supportive
comments.

Some constructive criticism
along the way.

- I tried my best.

- Except you failed to
devote your utmost energy

and enthusiasm to the enterprise

- I possess the conviction
and the will to succeed.

- Without personal sacrifice

and the commitment of all
of your available resources

to the endeavor,

that simply registers as vain
posturing on your behalf.

You have elevated yourself
to an enviable position

of autonomy and authority

at Rosen, Prattleton, Nagel &
Suffield.

Those are hardly the trappings
of tragedy.

- I detest my job!

And I despise everyone who works
there.

And I refuse to accept
that I must be forced

to toil with such rabble on
account

of your obtuse philosophical
musings!

I deserve nothing less than the
reins of our family dynasty!

- You have proven yourself
incapable

of realizing any of your languid
goals

or shepherding anything

to a successfully implemented
conclusion,

therefore, you deserve nothing.

On the brighter side of things,

I would imagine

that you'll be all the more
prepared for next time.

- Next time? There's a next
time?

- There will always be a next
time.

Did you honestly expect me to

leave you forever in the lurch?

You're far too fragile of a
flower

for me to leave untended
in this unforgiving world.

So, as I said,

I'm sure you'll do better next
time

and perhaps next time

you'll do it right.

- Natalya!

Natalya.

Do you
remember when I told you

that there was bluster and
then there was honesty?

Vaguely.

- I'm thinking we're
all capable of bluster

when it comes to pursuing a
goal or advocating a position.

That necessarily make us
terrible people

or inherently dishonest,

but it stands to reason that
bluster

might not be such a
terrible thing after all.

In fact,

bluster might be part and parcel

of ambition, initiative and
success.

- Sure, why not?

- I'm saying this because

I'm thinking that this is the
end.

That this is it, right here.

- The end of what?

- Of everything.

- Oh.

Right.

- How do you think it comes to
pass?

- I'm sorry?

- The end?

Do you think it's just a
quick flick of a switch

and then we're gone,

or is it some kind of gradual

deflation of ourselves

into an unknown emptiness?

- It would be presumptuous
of me to even suggest

that any one scenario is more
plausible

than an infinite amount
of competing alternatives.

- I only wish that I'd
learn to accept the fact

that I'm not going to
be around once I'm gone.

Just when I was in the grip
of a newfound togetherness!

- So I guess I did it again.

No surprises there.

I would appear to be incapable

of learning from past mistakes

because I have a habit of
repeating them

over and over,

again and again.

- I happen to think

we had a lot of fun together
last night.

I happen to enjoy your company

and I look forward to the
time that we spend together.

- All male sexuality

is violence.

I truly wish I was one of
those people who is tolerant

and reasonable

and accept things

even if they weren't the
way they're supposed to be,

but I'm not.

I deserve better

and I refuse to compromise my
standards.

- Every relationship we have in
life

requires some degree of
compromise.

- What do you want from me?

- Well, maybe you should just be
left

to your own miserable lot in
life.

- Wouldn't that be a delight.