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1
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The royal physicians
have the king's permission
2
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:51,526
to see the Prince on his birthday!
3
00:02:07,203 --> 00:02:09,011
Prince.
4
00:02:09,371 --> 00:02:11,039
Princey!
5
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:11,907
Prince.
6
00:02:11,908 --> 00:02:13,817
You schmuck, up, up, up.
7
00:02:13,818 --> 00:02:17,086
Happy birthday, sire.
8
00:02:17,087 --> 00:02:19,088
♪ Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you ♪
9
00:02:19,089 --> 00:02:20,632
♪ Happy birthday dear Princey ♪
10
00:02:20,633 --> 00:02:23,759
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
11
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,889
Happy birthday, sire.
12
00:02:27,556 --> 00:02:29,474
Where's my doggy?
13
00:02:29,475 --> 00:02:31,768
Where's my teddy bear?
14
00:02:31,769 --> 00:02:35,146
But Your Highness, today you are 21.
15
00:02:35,147 --> 00:02:38,441
It is time to put away your childish toys.
16
00:02:38,442 --> 00:02:40,860
Today you must become a man.
17
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:43,321
You want to be a schmuck all your life?
18
00:02:43,322 --> 00:02:46,449
You realize the great world
that you must conquer?
19
00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:50,328
Walking forward, unlike Cyrano,
whose Bergerac was below
20
00:02:50,329 --> 00:02:53,540
the empathy of his Babaskis?
21
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:56,334
Sticking it in places
where it didn't belong.
22
00:02:56,335 --> 00:02:58,211
Oh, oh, okay.
23
00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,879
Okay, you're the doctors.
24
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,882
What do I have to do?
25
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:06,454
Glad you asked that question.
26
00:03:07,846 --> 00:03:11,266
♪ If all your lovers like
your clothes are mix and match ♪
27
00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:13,560
♪ And it fast becoming clearer ♪
28
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,562
♪ That you better start from scratch ♪
29
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:16,980
♪ We're in the business ♪
30
00:03:16,981 --> 00:03:19,023
♪ Of making things much
brighter than they seem ♪
31
00:03:19,024 --> 00:03:20,942
♪ We're in your corner, up your alley ♪
32
00:03:20,943 --> 00:03:22,777
♪ By your side, and on your team ♪
33
00:03:22,778 --> 00:03:26,739
♪ It doesn't matter that
you're young and quite naive ♪
34
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,491
♪ We have a present that most princes ♪
35
00:03:28,492 --> 00:03:30,285
♪ Would be happy to receive ♪
36
00:03:30,286 --> 00:03:33,162
♪ And dear young highness, we'll help you ♪
37
00:03:33,163 --> 00:03:34,539
♪ If you give us half a chance ♪
38
00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:36,249
♪ We're at your service, up and coming ♪
39
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:37,876
♪ On the job and in our pants ♪
40
00:03:37,877 --> 00:03:41,379
♪ Experts appointed by your father ♪
41
00:03:41,380 --> 00:03:46,544
♪ Sexperts, we hardly
even bother with details ♪
42
00:03:48,971 --> 00:03:51,264
The whole thing is a
product of inspection,
43
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:54,309
allowing those people to get
in there and then get out
44
00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:56,519
and then getting in and getting out.
45
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,229
This in and out is alright.
46
00:03:58,230 --> 00:04:00,440
This up and down shit's for the birds.
47
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:01,566
Shall I say,
48
00:04:01,567 --> 00:04:03,568
"Goodnight, sweet Prince.
49
00:04:03,569 --> 00:04:05,862
"Parting is such sorrow?"
50
00:04:05,863 --> 00:04:07,530
Parting is what you want.
51
00:04:07,531 --> 00:04:09,741
Let them get it open then get in there.
52
00:04:09,742 --> 00:04:12,744
Even the amoeba, when he feels lonely,
53
00:04:12,745 --> 00:04:15,747
he goes in the corner,
rub a dub dub and there's two of him.
54
00:04:15,748 --> 00:04:19,125
♪ We're Dr. Mustache,
Dr. Ears, and Dr. Eyes ♪
55
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:21,419
♪ We were in prison for malpractice ♪
56
00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:23,421
♪ When there came a big surprise ♪
57
00:04:23,422 --> 00:04:26,966
♪ The King released us to
educate his son and ever since ♪
58
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,843
♪ We're been the wise men of the kingdom ♪
59
00:04:28,844 --> 00:04:30,720
♪ But we can't wise up the Prince ♪
60
00:04:30,721 --> 00:04:34,349
♪ It is imperative our
mission doesn't fail ♪
61
00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:38,269
♪ Because His Majesty informs
us the alternative is jail ♪
62
00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:40,396
♪ But we have not met with success ♪
63
00:04:40,397 --> 00:04:42,398
♪ Although we tried most everything ♪
64
00:04:42,399 --> 00:04:46,027
♪ We have our hearts on
the fire and our asses in a sling ♪
65
00:04:46,028 --> 00:04:49,656
♪ Sexperts with medical tradition ♪
66
00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:54,787
♪ Experts on every weird
position you can name ♪
67
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:59,666
They only make semen
white and urine yellow
68
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:03,086
so that you know whether
you're coming or going.
69
00:05:03,087 --> 00:05:06,256
You have to sire an heir
and you cannot do that
70
00:05:06,257 --> 00:05:09,305
by just fucking a pillow.
71
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:14,639
I remember when I was 21,
my hand was in a bandaid.
72
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:15,890
I was crippled.
73
00:05:15,891 --> 00:05:17,850
There was nobody around for me
74
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:20,353
to enjoy the pleasures that are erotic.
75
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,896
Get off your ass, you dumb son of a bitch
76
00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:23,940
and get out and fuck!
77
00:05:23,941 --> 00:05:27,360
♪ Well, it's the time of do
or don't, the die is cast ♪
78
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:29,445
♪ Will our pubescent pampered prince ♪
79
00:05:29,446 --> 00:05:31,114
♪ Become a royal rogue at last ♪
80
00:05:31,115 --> 00:05:32,532
♪ Excuse me, colleagues ♪
81
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,826
♪ But there's nothing more
the three of us can do ♪
82
00:05:34,827 --> 00:05:36,828
♪ We've laid the groundwork,
done the legwork ♪
83
00:05:36,829 --> 00:05:38,830
♪ Have no fear, we're right behind you ♪
84
00:05:38,831 --> 00:05:40,456
♪ But we're anxious to remind you ♪
85
00:05:40,457 --> 00:05:45,178
♪ That the rest is up to you ♪
86
00:05:52,595 --> 00:05:55,263
Happy birthday, dear noble Prince.
87
00:05:55,264 --> 00:05:57,675
Today you are 21!
88
00:05:57,766 --> 00:06:02,737
21 minus none allows you
to inherit the kingdom.
89
00:06:02,813 --> 00:06:07,150
A proviso, you must be
able to produce an heir.
90
00:06:07,151 --> 00:06:09,152
If you don't produce an heir...
91
00:06:09,153 --> 00:06:11,821
We're all out of work!
92
00:06:11,822 --> 00:06:14,908
And even for a prince,
opportunities are limited!
93
00:06:14,909 --> 00:06:17,035
You got any royal aspirin?
94
00:06:17,036 --> 00:06:18,912
No, we've got something better.
95
00:06:18,913 --> 00:06:21,395
Much better!
96
00:06:24,168 --> 00:06:27,086
A birthday present!
97
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:59,100
Hi, I'm your birthday present.
98
00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:06,417
Wait, wait a minute here.
99
00:07:06,418 --> 00:07:09,670
What, I don't understand what you want.
100
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:20,014
Um, actually my birthday
isn't really for six hours.
101
00:07:20,015 --> 00:07:22,141
I was born after 10:00 and,
102
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:26,783
that's very nice.
103
00:07:26,981 --> 00:07:29,790
You do that very well.
104
00:08:14,486 --> 00:08:17,215
Well, you're no fun.
105
00:08:31,337 --> 00:08:32,962
It's no use.
106
00:08:32,963 --> 00:08:36,614
I'm just not interested, except,
107
00:08:42,306 --> 00:08:45,141
you know, it's a funny thing.
108
00:08:45,142 --> 00:08:48,713
Well, every time I look at her,
109
00:08:51,481 --> 00:08:55,611
I get so horny.
110
00:09:00,366 --> 00:09:02,659
I'm sure it would work with her!
111
00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:04,369
That was the Princess Beauty
112
00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:06,204
who disappeared many years ago.
113
00:09:06,205 --> 00:09:09,415
It's unlikely that she'll
ever been seen again.
114
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,376
It's hopeless, it's hopeless.
115
00:09:11,377 --> 00:09:15,088
We must look at the magic manual!
116
00:09:15,089 --> 00:09:17,757
Yes, the magic manual.
117
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:20,760
When you look at the astrological zodiacs,
118
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:23,096
just as I myself, who am a Leon
119
00:09:23,097 --> 00:09:27,988
with a Scorpio rising
and my moon is in Scorpio
120
00:09:28,185 --> 00:09:33,147
and my Venus is five inches
below my bellybutton.
121
00:09:33,148 --> 00:09:35,900
Well, it's better there than in Uranus.
122
00:09:35,901 --> 00:09:37,986
Get the book, get the book.
123
00:09:37,987 --> 00:09:39,487
- Get the book!
- Come over here
124
00:09:39,488 --> 00:09:40,738
and sympathize.
125
00:09:40,739 --> 00:09:43,709
Oh, here.
126
00:09:51,876 --> 00:09:56,712
The Prince must go to
the Land of the Fairies!
127
00:09:57,131 --> 00:09:59,883
It is there he will find the cure!
128
00:09:59,884 --> 00:10:02,552
How will I know when I'm
entering the Land of the Fairies?
129
00:10:02,553 --> 00:10:05,680
You don't have to know, they'll know
130
00:10:05,681 --> 00:10:09,642
and once you have found
yourselves in the mortal swim
131
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:12,770
of the spermatoza, get my Albert...
132
00:10:12,771 --> 00:10:14,522
It will say,
133
00:10:14,523 --> 00:10:16,524
"Land of the Fairies."
134
00:10:16,525 --> 00:10:18,151
What do you think?
135
00:10:18,152 --> 00:10:22,030
I'll get a horse and some
guards to accompany you.
136
00:10:22,031 --> 00:10:23,839
No!
137
00:10:24,408 --> 00:10:27,745
I go alone and on foot.
138
00:10:28,746 --> 00:10:30,455
How much time do I have?
139
00:10:30,456 --> 00:10:33,917
If you don't get back by
Thursday, you're not a prince.
140
00:10:33,918 --> 00:10:37,808
Yeah and you'll lose the kingdom.
141
00:10:37,963 --> 00:10:40,854
Thursday?
142
00:11:59,503 --> 00:12:01,825
Hi.
143
00:12:10,639 --> 00:12:12,765
Who are you?
144
00:12:15,185 --> 00:12:18,229
♪ Well, it's not as I planned ♪
145
00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:23,318
♪ But throughout Fairy Land
I'm known as Little Bo Peep ♪
146
00:12:23,319 --> 00:12:26,654
♪ And a alack and alas, I am up to my ass ♪
147
00:12:26,655 --> 00:12:29,616
♪ In smelly old sheep ♪
148
00:12:29,617 --> 00:12:33,036
♪ And when first I found
out what my job was about ♪
149
00:12:33,037 --> 00:12:36,206
♪ And what I really am ♪
150
00:12:36,207 --> 00:12:39,459
♪ I just didn't suspect
how much dough I'd collect ♪
151
00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:43,254
♪ From the guy on the lamb ♪
152
00:12:43,255 --> 00:12:46,382
♪ What a terrible curse and
I'll tell you what's worse ♪
153
00:12:46,383 --> 00:12:49,761
♪ I feel sickly and pale ♪
154
00:12:49,762 --> 00:12:52,972
♪ Here you've been such a
dear with my bending your ear ♪
155
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:56,226
♪ Wait, there's more to my tale ♪
156
00:12:56,227 --> 00:12:59,646
♪ I am not known for my shyness ♪
157
00:12:59,647 --> 00:13:02,982
♪ I just can't unplug my sinus ♪
158
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:08,113
♪ 'Cause Little Bo Peep's
allergic to all her sheep ♪
159
00:13:37,601 --> 00:13:40,019
♪ And it gives me the blues
when the rams and the ewes ♪
160
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:43,064
♪ All flock to this spot ♪
161
00:13:43,065 --> 00:13:46,609
♪ It is such a disgrace
when the meadow's the place ♪
162
00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:49,821
♪ They should be ever not ♪
163
00:13:49,822 --> 00:13:53,408
♪ Every bad man I date's a glad chunk ♪
164
00:13:53,409 --> 00:13:56,786
♪ But all he wants is my junk ♪
165
00:13:56,787 --> 00:14:00,206
♪ So Little Bo Peep is anxious to boop ♪
166
00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:03,293
♪ No, Little Bo Peep is trying to dupe ♪
167
00:14:03,294 --> 00:14:06,754
♪ No, Little Bee-bop is beep beep she bop ♪
168
00:14:06,755 --> 00:14:10,042
♪ Oh, sheep ♪
169
00:14:12,386 --> 00:14:15,221
I'm Little Bo Peep and I lost my sheep
170
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,348
and don't know where to find them.
171
00:14:17,349 --> 00:14:19,017
Well, leave them alone.
172
00:14:19,018 --> 00:14:21,060
They'll come home.
173
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,938
Wagging their tails behind them, probably.
174
00:14:23,939 --> 00:14:28,739
If I could trust you,
I'd tell you my trouble.
175
00:14:28,944 --> 00:14:31,070
Oh, you can trust me, little feller.
176
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:35,393
I never see anybody but my sheep anyway.
177
00:14:36,785 --> 00:14:41,756
You see, I'm a prince
and I'm in deep trouble.
178
00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:45,752
Oh, I never met a prince before.
179
00:14:45,753 --> 00:14:50,215
Oh, what a relief those
sheep are so hairy.
180
00:14:50,216 --> 00:14:52,967
To tell you the truth,
I kind of miss my teddy bear.
181
00:14:52,968 --> 00:14:55,303
Oh, you like animals, too?
182
00:14:55,304 --> 00:14:57,786
I'm glad.
183
00:15:00,726 --> 00:15:02,560
What's your trouble?
184
00:15:02,561 --> 00:15:04,369
Tell me.
185
00:15:04,521 --> 00:15:09,108
If I can't produce an heir,
I lose my kingdom.
186
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,235
What's the matter?
187
00:15:10,236 --> 00:15:11,903
Can't you cum?
188
00:15:11,904 --> 00:15:14,738
Where you going?
189
00:15:18,911 --> 00:15:20,662
I think I can help you.
190
00:15:20,663 --> 00:15:23,330
You can?
191
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:41,493
Look, it's not your fault.
192
00:16:42,119 --> 00:16:45,599
Well, you see, it never works,
193
00:16:46,874 --> 00:16:49,918
except when I look at a painting
194
00:16:49,919 --> 00:16:51,669
of the Princess of my dreams.
195
00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:54,797
See, I'm sure it would work with her,
196
00:16:54,798 --> 00:16:57,759
but if I don't prove
my manhood by Thursday,
197
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,136
I'll lose my kingdom!
198
00:17:00,137 --> 00:17:02,847
You ought to go to the old
lady who lives in a shoe.
199
00:17:02,848 --> 00:17:05,807
She'll know what to do.
200
00:17:25,371 --> 00:17:29,749
Oh, Tommy, good day, what a glorious day.
201
00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,460
You know, the girls are open for business,
202
00:17:32,461 --> 00:17:33,962
if you know what I mean.
203
00:17:33,963 --> 00:17:36,798
Oh, it's wonderful,
it's wonderful madam, Gussie Gander.
204
00:17:36,799 --> 00:17:39,759
Oh, I could just kiss
your privates and grovel at your loins
205
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,178
to give me this big opportunity and work.
206
00:17:42,179 --> 00:17:43,805
Thank you so much.
207
00:17:43,806 --> 00:17:45,640
I'll get business for us, I promise.
208
00:17:45,641 --> 00:17:46,933
Well, thank you, Tommy.
209
00:17:46,934 --> 00:17:48,476
You just do a good job
210
00:17:48,477 --> 00:17:51,104
and make Gussie real proud of you, okay?
211
00:17:51,105 --> 00:17:52,939
Oh, I will, Madam Gussie, I will.
212
00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:55,275
I'll get the suckers in here, believe me.
213
00:17:55,276 --> 00:17:56,860
You just keep us filled, huh?
214
00:17:56,861 --> 00:17:59,028
In a manner of speaking, I will.
215
00:17:59,029 --> 00:18:01,394
Well, good luck.
216
00:18:01,824 --> 00:18:03,491
Oh, boy, what an opportunity.
217
00:18:03,492 --> 00:18:05,243
Working the door in a classy joint
218
00:18:05,244 --> 00:18:09,054
like this for Madam Gussie Gander.
219
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,291
Here comes a couple of live ones.
220
00:18:11,292 --> 00:18:13,418
Excuse me, young man, excuse me.
221
00:18:13,419 --> 00:18:15,628
Take one or two steps forward, friends.
222
00:18:15,629 --> 00:18:17,797
Your bodies will naturally follow you.
223
00:18:17,798 --> 00:18:19,966
You see, what you're standing
in front of right now
224
00:18:19,967 --> 00:18:22,385
is your basic shoe of pleasure.
225
00:18:22,386 --> 00:18:23,678
Isn't that wonderful?
226
00:18:23,679 --> 00:18:25,763
Say yes, it makes me feel good.
227
00:18:25,764 --> 00:18:27,765
I couldn't help but notice
when you gentlemen walk up
228
00:18:27,766 --> 00:18:30,310
that each of you wear packing
your basic Saturday night
229
00:18:30,311 --> 00:18:32,812
special if you know what I mean.
230
00:18:32,813 --> 00:18:35,356
Well by golly, this is for
those with a hot member,
231
00:18:35,357 --> 00:18:37,358
a tired member, a member
that itch, ache, burns,
232
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,235
swells or throbs.
233
00:18:39,236 --> 00:18:41,154
It's a truly amazing place.
234
00:18:41,155 --> 00:18:43,948
It's a veritable Fairy
Land of fondling, feeling,
235
00:18:43,949 --> 00:18:47,577
flogging, flaying, and some
general good fooling around,
236
00:18:47,578 --> 00:18:49,245
if you know what I mean.
237
00:18:49,246 --> 00:18:51,456
Inside you've got your Snow White
238
00:18:51,457 --> 00:18:53,833
and the seven little people
and what they're doing to
239
00:18:53,834 --> 00:18:56,252
that girl is nobody's
business but their own.
240
00:18:56,253 --> 00:18:57,879
You're gonna see that inside.
241
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,215
You ever hear of Little Red Riding Hood?
242
00:19:00,216 --> 00:19:03,092
You'll get a chance to ride
our eight furlongs tonight,
243
00:19:03,093 --> 00:19:05,136
so why don't you go right inside?
244
00:19:05,137 --> 00:19:06,930
It's only gonna cost you
a couple of drachma, fellows.
245
00:19:06,931 --> 00:19:09,641
You'll have the time of your life
and you'll thank me
246
00:19:09,642 --> 00:19:11,851
for it the longest day you will.
247
00:19:11,852 --> 00:19:13,186
Step right in.
248
00:19:13,187 --> 00:19:14,604
You're not interested?
249
00:19:14,605 --> 00:19:16,064
You say,
250
00:19:16,065 --> 00:19:17,649
"Wait, look at the nice piece
of merchandise I have here."
251
00:19:17,650 --> 00:19:21,027
By golly, that is your basic blender.
252
00:19:21,028 --> 00:19:24,531
That's for your icings,
for your sautes, for your fondues.
253
00:19:24,532 --> 00:19:26,074
You'll thank me for it.
254
00:19:26,075 --> 00:19:27,575
Here, turn it right
around on the other side,
255
00:19:27,576 --> 00:19:30,036
it's your Chopomatic
for your chopped nuts,
256
00:19:30,037 --> 00:19:33,998
your chopped ice, your salads, your slaws.
257
00:19:33,999 --> 00:19:35,583
Stiffs.
258
00:19:35,584 --> 00:19:36,751
How about you, sir?
259
00:19:36,752 --> 00:19:37,794
You want to go inside?
260
00:19:37,795 --> 00:19:40,088
Look, I've got a nice piece
of merchandise for you.
261
00:19:40,089 --> 00:19:44,092
Eight by 10 glossies shrunken
to make them pocket sized.
262
00:19:44,093 --> 00:19:45,885
Take these into
the privacy of your own home
263
00:19:45,886 --> 00:19:47,470
and what you do there, sir,
264
00:19:47,471 --> 00:19:49,347
is nobody's business but your own.
265
00:19:49,348 --> 00:19:52,267
Now, you know why they
call her Mother Goose.
266
00:19:52,268 --> 00:19:53,601
Look at that one.
267
00:19:53,602 --> 00:19:54,769
Isn't that amazing?
268
00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:57,063
That's Little Miss Muffet
sitting on her tuffet.
269
00:19:57,064 --> 00:19:59,607
Here she is sitting on
Mother Goose's tuffet,
270
00:19:59,608 --> 00:20:01,442
and there's Little Miss
Muffet just straight
271
00:20:01,443 --> 00:20:03,069
out camping on the peg.
272
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:04,195
Isn't that something, huh?
273
00:20:04,196 --> 00:20:06,656
Gets you a little randy,
doesn't it, to watch it?
274
00:20:06,657 --> 00:20:09,200
Look, it's $4 for the set.
275
00:20:09,201 --> 00:20:12,331
$2 for the set.
276
00:20:43,777 --> 00:20:46,738
Oh, Sirus, I'm so glad you're back!
277
00:20:46,739 --> 00:20:47,989
Hey, baby!
278
00:20:47,990 --> 00:20:50,116
No, Sirus, no.
279
00:20:50,117 --> 00:20:51,868
No thank you, no.
280
00:20:51,869 --> 00:20:54,621
Now, now, Gussie, don't be so ungrateful.
281
00:20:54,622 --> 00:20:57,624
If it wasn't for me,
you'd still be on food stamps.
282
00:20:57,625 --> 00:21:00,001
Just a little old lady in this shoe had
283
00:21:00,002 --> 00:21:03,712
so many children
she didn't know what to do.
284
00:21:04,006 --> 00:21:06,716
Until old Sirus showed you, didn't I?
285
00:21:06,717 --> 00:21:09,636
Yes, Sirus, yes,
you did teach my girls the tricks
286
00:21:09,637 --> 00:21:11,721
of the trade but you'll get your cut.
287
00:21:11,722 --> 00:21:14,182
Not on everything.
288
00:21:14,183 --> 00:21:18,585
Sirus, I don't turn tricks for anybody.
289
00:21:23,067 --> 00:21:25,527
Say, I wonder whatever
happened to Little Miss Muffet.
290
00:21:25,528 --> 00:21:27,987
I saw her in Chicago about a month ago.
291
00:21:27,988 --> 00:21:29,614
She's working the Red Slipper now.
292
00:21:29,615 --> 00:21:30,698
Oh, she had some act, didn't she?
293
00:21:30,699 --> 00:21:33,909
Yes, yes, a whole mouthful.
294
00:21:35,037 --> 00:21:36,329
Going down?
295
00:21:36,330 --> 00:21:37,789
Yes, second floor, please.
296
00:21:37,790 --> 00:21:39,832
Always something new, like I said.
297
00:21:39,833 --> 00:21:41,668
Always something new.
298
00:21:41,669 --> 00:21:44,628
The first elevator shoe.
299
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:52,771
This is our new attraction,
the Snow White Room.
300
00:21:56,267 --> 00:21:58,393
♪ I'm sequestered in a shanty ♪
301
00:21:58,394 --> 00:22:00,728
♪ Acting as a maiden aunty ♪
302
00:22:00,729 --> 00:22:05,108
♪ To a bunch of munchkin gigolos ♪
303
00:22:05,109 --> 00:22:07,652
♪ Stuck with seven ittie bitties ♪
304
00:22:07,653 --> 00:22:09,445
♪ Each no taller than my titties ♪
305
00:22:09,446 --> 00:22:13,950
♪ Every secret everybody knows ♪
306
00:22:13,951 --> 00:22:16,077
♪ So let me tell you all about ♪
307
00:22:16,078 --> 00:22:21,242
♪ The seven little wonders of my world ♪
308
00:22:22,710 --> 00:22:25,128
♪ These few years I'll spend in clover ♪
309
00:22:25,129 --> 00:22:27,380
♪ 'Til the honey moon is over ♪
310
00:22:27,381 --> 00:22:31,801
♪ And I've ceased to be their buttercup ♪
311
00:22:31,802 --> 00:22:34,304
♪ Though they aren't
the tallest breed, sir ♪
312
00:22:34,305 --> 00:22:36,514
♪ I believe you will concede, sir ♪
313
00:22:36,515 --> 00:22:40,935
♪ Once you've come to see my seven up ♪
314
00:22:40,936 --> 00:22:43,104
♪ And then you'll know the secret of ♪
315
00:22:43,105 --> 00:22:48,269
♪ The seven little wonders of my world ♪
316
00:22:50,279 --> 00:22:54,365
♪ In my humblest opinion it's heaven ♪
317
00:22:54,366 --> 00:22:58,995
♪ If you can multiply sex by seven ♪
318
00:22:58,996 --> 00:23:01,164
♪ When they call me for a date, hey ♪
319
00:23:01,165 --> 00:23:03,208
♪ I get a ready for an eight way ♪
320
00:23:03,209 --> 00:23:07,503
♪ Seven hungry little mouths to kiss ♪
321
00:23:07,504 --> 00:23:10,006
♪ You might think it's quite off beat but ♪
322
00:23:10,007 --> 00:23:12,133
♪ Fondling fourteen little feet but ♪
323
00:23:12,134 --> 00:23:16,429
♪ I think paradise must be like this ♪
324
00:23:16,430 --> 00:23:18,932
♪ And though it's not a real polite thing ♪
325
00:23:18,933 --> 00:23:21,434
♪ It's my seven times a night thing ♪
326
00:23:21,435 --> 00:23:25,855
♪ With the seven wonders of my world ♪
327
00:23:25,856 --> 00:23:30,192
♪ Seven comes eleven and
I'm out like a light ♪
328
00:23:34,782 --> 00:23:38,117
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
329
00:23:38,118 --> 00:23:41,564
who's the fairest of them all?
330
00:23:42,164 --> 00:23:46,566
Well, certainly not you, you ugly bitch.
331
00:23:48,170 --> 00:23:50,922
And this is the Mirror Room.
332
00:23:50,923 --> 00:23:54,217
What's that, Quasimodo's momma?
333
00:23:54,218 --> 00:23:57,869
What you see ain't what you get.
334
00:24:00,391 --> 00:24:05,394
Upon further reflection,
I'd buy a piece of that action.
335
00:24:08,148 --> 00:24:11,650
We gonna have to leave already, huh?
336
00:24:15,739 --> 00:24:16,990
Going down?
337
00:24:16,991 --> 00:24:18,575
Top floor, please.
338
00:24:18,576 --> 00:24:19,742
What's up there?
339
00:24:19,743 --> 00:24:22,494
The Star Room.
340
00:24:23,330 --> 00:24:26,375
Voila.
341
00:24:27,376 --> 00:24:28,793
It's locked.
342
00:24:28,794 --> 00:24:30,837
You bet your sweet little
codpiece it's locked.
343
00:24:30,838 --> 00:24:32,130
What's so hot about this room?
344
00:24:32,131 --> 00:24:34,132
Hell, I don't get a chance to see nothing.
345
00:24:34,133 --> 00:24:35,675
Oh, you're absolutely right.
346
00:24:35,676 --> 00:24:37,760
You don't get a chance to see nothing.
347
00:24:37,761 --> 00:24:38,970
You keep it locked forever?
348
00:24:38,971 --> 00:24:40,722
Oh, no, no, no, no,
349
00:24:40,723 --> 00:24:44,766
just until the right offer comes along.
350
00:24:55,154 --> 00:24:57,203
No, no!
351
00:25:09,335 --> 00:25:10,627
Oh, no, oh, please, oh, no, no, no.
352
00:25:10,628 --> 00:25:12,295
Oh, please, no.
353
00:25:12,296 --> 00:25:13,713
You don't understand.
354
00:25:13,714 --> 00:25:16,174
This isn't my way, oh, gib.
355
00:25:16,175 --> 00:25:18,904
Oh, you're hopeless.
356
00:25:19,136 --> 00:25:20,929
I've been trying to turn you on all day
357
00:25:20,930 --> 00:25:23,598
and all you could do is lie here and moan.
358
00:25:23,599 --> 00:25:25,308
Oh, get away from me.
359
00:25:25,309 --> 00:25:28,311
Honestly, can I help it if
there was no water up the hill?
360
00:25:28,312 --> 00:25:29,395
Water?
361
00:25:29,396 --> 00:25:31,272
You really think I went up the hill
362
00:25:31,273 --> 00:25:32,815
to fetch a pail of water?
363
00:25:32,816 --> 00:25:34,526
Well, I simply can't imagine what else.
364
00:25:34,527 --> 00:25:37,689
God, I don't believe it.
365
00:25:38,697 --> 00:25:42,906
Oh, oh.
366
00:25:49,333 --> 00:25:51,376
Oh.
367
00:25:51,377 --> 00:25:53,294
Hi, who are you?
368
00:25:53,295 --> 00:25:56,457
I'm Jill from up the hill.
369
00:25:56,674 --> 00:25:58,508
Want to fool around?
370
00:25:58,509 --> 00:25:59,968
No, I have a jester.
371
00:25:59,969 --> 00:26:02,470
He does all my fooling around for me.
372
00:26:02,471 --> 00:26:04,305
Oh.
373
00:26:04,306 --> 00:26:06,512
I'm a prince.
374
00:26:06,809 --> 00:26:08,226
Try to control yourself.
375
00:26:08,227 --> 00:26:11,228
Have we met before?
376
00:26:12,064 --> 00:26:13,690
- Oh, yes...
- Say, you know,
377
00:26:13,691 --> 00:26:17,443
the best thing is just
don't bother with them.
378
00:26:17,444 --> 00:26:19,696
Well, you're a lovely couple
and I could go on talking
379
00:26:19,697 --> 00:26:23,587
to you all day, but I'm on a quest.
380
00:26:24,493 --> 00:26:27,453
Yes, a very, very important quest
381
00:26:27,454 --> 00:26:30,900
and I'm gonna resume questing.
382
00:26:39,049 --> 00:26:41,380
Oh, young man!
383
00:26:45,890 --> 00:26:47,932
Hey, my man, Tommy Tucker.
384
00:26:47,933 --> 00:26:49,684
What's jumping off?
385
00:26:49,685 --> 00:26:51,185
Say, how did you make
out in that land deal
386
00:26:51,186 --> 00:26:54,564
where you sold the land to
Old King Cole, your boss?
387
00:26:54,565 --> 00:26:55,940
He's complaining about that.
388
00:26:55,941 --> 00:26:57,483
What's he complaining about?
389
00:26:57,484 --> 00:26:58,985
He's complaining because the land is
390
00:26:58,986 --> 00:27:00,904
under 20 feet of water in the Everglades.
391
00:27:00,905 --> 00:27:02,405
Oh, boy, why'd you tell him?
392
00:27:02,406 --> 00:27:03,948
I says,
393
00:27:03,949 --> 00:27:04,824
"Schumck, look at all the money you saved.
394
00:27:04,825 --> 00:27:06,034
"You don't gotta put a pool in."
395
00:27:06,035 --> 00:27:07,493
Some people are never happy.
396
00:27:07,494 --> 00:27:08,786
I get the same beefs.
397
00:27:08,787 --> 00:27:10,663
I sell some vibrators to
some airline stewardesses
398
00:27:10,664 --> 00:27:12,999
the other night,
they want their money back.
399
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,585
Claimed it chipped their teeth.
400
00:27:15,586 --> 00:27:16,878
It's hard to make a buck, man.
401
00:27:16,879 --> 00:27:18,046
I know, it's terrible.
402
00:27:18,047 --> 00:27:19,589
What brings you to these parts tonight?
403
00:27:19,590 --> 00:27:21,424
Checking out some
new fluff for the King.
404
00:27:21,425 --> 00:27:23,218
Well, we got some loose stuff inside.
405
00:27:23,219 --> 00:27:24,719
- Do you?
- Maybe you want
406
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,054
to take a look.
407
00:27:26,055 --> 00:27:30,057
We got all new attractions, go in.
408
00:27:30,392 --> 00:27:33,810
Oh, what a warm and
wonderful human being he is.
409
00:27:34,522 --> 00:27:36,231
The King sends his greetings.
410
00:27:36,232 --> 00:27:37,774
Yeah, if that's all he sent,
411
00:27:37,775 --> 00:27:39,526
you tell that fat ass King Cole...
412
00:27:39,527 --> 00:27:42,445
Hey, hey, hey, featherhead.
413
00:27:42,446 --> 00:27:44,906
That's the King you're talking about.
414
00:27:44,907 --> 00:27:46,658
You keep talking that way,
you're gonna be wearing
415
00:27:46,659 --> 00:27:49,701
that codpiece around your nose.
416
00:27:49,912 --> 00:27:52,622
Now, His Majesty always
sends a small tribute
417
00:27:52,623 --> 00:27:55,750
in memory of the last time that he was
418
00:27:55,751 --> 00:27:58,461
in this elegant establishment you got here
419
00:27:58,462 --> 00:28:01,047
and this time he sent this.
420
00:28:01,048 --> 00:28:04,260
Thank you.
421
00:28:05,261 --> 00:28:07,467
Small change?
422
00:28:07,763 --> 00:28:10,848
What did we give him last time,
one of the seven dwarves?
423
00:28:10,849 --> 00:28:13,434
- Hey...
- Excuse me.
424
00:28:13,435 --> 00:28:14,894
He's just kidding.
425
00:28:14,895 --> 00:28:19,695
Tell His Majesty that I
most humbly thank him.
426
00:28:20,067 --> 00:28:21,568
His Majesty would like to know
427
00:28:21,569 --> 00:28:24,404
what you got for his pleasure tonight
428
00:28:24,405 --> 00:28:27,740
and His Majesty also told me to tell you
429
00:28:27,741 --> 00:28:30,577
that if you could
possibly arrange a virgin,
430
00:28:30,578 --> 00:28:35,582
he would not be adverse to
giving a little extra schmear,
431
00:28:35,583 --> 00:28:38,834
if you know what I mean.
432
00:28:50,139 --> 00:28:51,014
Hi.
433
00:28:51,015 --> 00:28:52,974
Gotsy sent me from the Shoe of Pleasure.
434
00:28:52,975 --> 00:28:55,659
Oh, Gotsy sent you.
435
00:28:56,687 --> 00:28:59,098
What's your name?
436
00:28:59,398 --> 00:29:01,524
Scheherazade.
437
00:29:01,525 --> 00:29:03,731
Scheherazade?
438
00:29:04,236 --> 00:29:07,204
From the Arabian Nights?
439
00:29:07,448 --> 00:29:10,655
From many Arabian nights.
440
00:29:14,496 --> 00:29:18,386
And what do you have in your urn?
441
00:29:18,459 --> 00:29:21,348
Just oil from Arabia.
442
00:29:21,503 --> 00:29:24,505
What do you do with your oil?
443
00:29:24,506 --> 00:29:28,874
I have a special way of pleasing a man.
444
00:29:29,428 --> 00:29:32,159
Yes.
445
00:32:16,095 --> 00:32:17,345
Can you help me?
446
00:32:17,346 --> 00:32:19,556
What seems to be
your problem, young lady?
447
00:32:19,557 --> 00:32:22,934
I'm Little Bo Peep and I lost my sheep.
448
00:32:22,935 --> 00:32:24,769
And you don't know where to find them.
449
00:32:24,770 --> 00:32:26,729
And I don't know where to find them.
450
00:32:26,730 --> 00:32:28,106
Well, they're just inside
451
00:32:28,107 --> 00:32:29,607
with two business men from Detroit.
452
00:32:29,608 --> 00:32:32,026
$3 sure time the sheep
are paying for the towels.
453
00:32:32,027 --> 00:32:34,279
Say young lady, look, while you're here,
454
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:36,531
maybe you want to stop
inside and get a job.
455
00:32:36,532 --> 00:32:38,157
You know, we're always
looking for a new animal act
456
00:32:38,158 --> 00:32:40,243
and speaking of animal acts,
it's looks like a lot
457
00:32:40,244 --> 00:32:42,620
of horsemen rode into
that valley of fatigue.
458
00:32:42,621 --> 00:32:44,831
You know, let me just look at this.
459
00:32:44,832 --> 00:32:46,666
I can read bruises, you know.
460
00:32:46,667 --> 00:32:48,167
You can really read bruises?
461
00:32:48,168 --> 00:32:49,752
Mmhmm.
462
00:32:49,753 --> 00:32:50,920
I can't tell anything about the future,
463
00:32:50,921 --> 00:32:51,963
but I can tell what you did last night.
464
00:32:51,964 --> 00:32:53,590
Let's, okay, look, you go inside.
465
00:32:53,591 --> 00:32:55,383
You tell Gussie, she's the boss,
466
00:32:55,384 --> 00:32:56,926
you want a job working under me.
467
00:32:56,927 --> 00:32:58,511
Go right in.
468
00:32:58,512 --> 00:33:02,721
I didn't know Kojak had a twin brother.
469
00:33:03,475 --> 00:33:05,935
Lovely girl, lovely piece of meat.
470
00:33:05,936 --> 00:33:10,648
And then, I met this prince
in the woods, you know.
471
00:33:10,649 --> 00:33:12,859
I didn't know King Cole had any kids.
472
00:33:12,860 --> 00:33:14,444
Oh, no, he's not from here.
473
00:33:14,445 --> 00:33:19,240
He's from a far away land
and he has a curse on him.
474
00:33:19,241 --> 00:33:20,909
What kind of a curse?
475
00:33:20,910 --> 00:33:23,369
Well, you see, it's like this.
476
00:33:23,370 --> 00:33:26,831
A long time ago...
477
00:33:26,832 --> 00:33:29,542
It's a king's ransom
if you do it right, Sirus.
478
00:33:29,543 --> 00:33:31,836
Right, that's the only way I know how.
479
00:33:31,837 --> 00:33:33,713
But of course.
480
00:33:33,714 --> 00:33:35,506
There's a prince walking in the woods
481
00:33:35,507 --> 00:33:37,926
who has a hell of
a problem with the ladies
482
00:33:37,927 --> 00:33:40,470
and I think that if we solve his problem,
483
00:33:40,471 --> 00:33:45,601
we'll cut into a fortune
that you wouldn't believe.
484
00:33:57,112 --> 00:34:02,242
♪ Today my life has
shown me a kind of lonely ♪
485
00:34:05,788 --> 00:34:09,314
♪ I never knew ♪
486
00:34:10,292 --> 00:34:15,422
♪ My days have been a fable with me unable ♪
487
00:34:19,468 --> 00:34:24,055
♪ To tell the false from true ♪
488
00:34:24,056 --> 00:34:28,742
♪ I know I'll meet somebody ♪
489
00:34:30,813 --> 00:34:35,534
♪ And yet I don't know where ♪
490
00:34:37,653 --> 00:34:42,783
♪ I'm hoping that somebody
learns to care, wants to share ♪
491
00:34:51,292 --> 00:34:56,263
♪ So world, please be forgiving ♪
492
00:34:57,131 --> 00:35:02,216
♪ If I view living a different way ♪
493
00:35:04,013 --> 00:35:09,143
♪ I'll find some strength to borrow ♪
494
00:35:10,603 --> 00:35:15,085
♪ And face tomorrow today ♪
495
00:35:38,505 --> 00:35:40,791
Hey, you, you!
496
00:35:40,966 --> 00:35:44,253
Prince with the sex problem.
497
00:35:44,261 --> 00:35:46,846
That's me, but how did you know?
498
00:35:46,847 --> 00:35:49,724
Little old birdy kind
of whispered in my ear.
499
00:35:49,725 --> 00:35:52,185
But come on now, we're going
on down the yellow brick road
500
00:35:52,186 --> 00:35:56,648
where Peter Pan learned to
fly and Olive Oil and Popeye
501
00:35:56,649 --> 00:35:59,817
and Tinklebell was tinkle-ized.
502
00:35:59,818 --> 00:36:01,865
Come on, now.
503
00:36:02,446 --> 00:36:06,074
We're going on down the yellow brick road.
504
00:36:06,075 --> 00:36:08,369
Um,
505
00:36:09,370 --> 00:36:11,162
what are you talking about?
506
00:36:11,163 --> 00:36:14,415
I'm talking about the Shoe of Pleasure.
507
00:36:14,416 --> 00:36:16,376
The Shoe of Pleasure?
508
00:36:16,377 --> 00:36:20,964
Little Bo Peep told me
about the Shoe of Pleasure!
509
00:36:20,965 --> 00:36:22,131
Who are you?
510
00:36:22,132 --> 00:36:26,427
Sirus is my name and pimpin' is my game.
511
00:36:26,428 --> 00:36:29,556
Pimpin', pimpin',
what kind of a game is pimpin'?
512
00:36:29,557 --> 00:36:31,724
Oh, pimpin', pimpin'!
513
00:36:31,725 --> 00:36:36,312
Isn't there where a team dressed
in blue kick a large squash
514
00:36:36,313 --> 00:36:39,649
and you have another team that
has a great deal of pimpin'?
515
00:36:39,650 --> 00:36:41,458
No, man!
516
00:36:41,652 --> 00:36:44,782
Pimp, I'm a pimp!
517
00:36:46,949 --> 00:36:48,241
What's a pimp?
518
00:36:48,242 --> 00:36:50,660
Pimp, P-I-M-P.
519
00:36:50,661 --> 00:36:54,497
Person for the Improvement
of Men's Pee-Pee Problems.
520
00:36:54,498 --> 00:36:57,899
Sort of like a social worker.
521
00:36:58,002 --> 00:37:00,253
Maybe you can help me.
522
00:37:00,254 --> 00:37:01,713
Sure I can.
523
00:37:01,714 --> 00:37:05,507
Come on now, we're going
on down the yellow brick road.
524
00:37:13,726 --> 00:37:16,144
Come on, Princey,
I'm taking you to the place
525
00:37:16,145 --> 00:37:18,438
where Pinocchio had his first nose job.
526
00:37:18,439 --> 00:37:20,732
I mean, this is where it's at,
where I'm gonna fix you.
527
00:37:20,733 --> 00:37:22,317
Hello, Tommy, what's happening, baby?
528
00:37:22,318 --> 00:37:24,485
- Give me some, oh.
- Sirus!
529
00:37:24,486 --> 00:37:26,237
Come on, now.
530
00:37:26,238 --> 00:37:27,780
You alright, I love you, too.
531
00:37:27,781 --> 00:37:29,574
Come here, Tommy, I want you
to meet the Princey here.
532
00:37:29,575 --> 00:37:31,910
Hey, Prince, you're
traveling with the right man.
533
00:37:31,911 --> 00:37:33,661
We call him the Soul of the Shoe.
534
00:37:33,662 --> 00:37:34,871
Sirus, how have you been?
535
00:37:34,872 --> 00:37:35,997
How's things on the street?
536
00:37:35,998 --> 00:37:37,081
It's mellow!
537
00:37:37,082 --> 00:37:38,750
It's great, you know, but let me tell you
538
00:37:38,751 --> 00:37:40,543
about my friend Princey here.
539
00:37:40,544 --> 00:37:43,004
Princey got the Humpty
Dumpty-it is, you know?
540
00:37:43,005 --> 00:37:45,089
All the king's horses
and all the king's men
541
00:37:45,090 --> 00:37:46,966
couldn't put Humpty up again.
542
00:37:46,967 --> 00:37:48,092
I mean, we gonna fix him up.
543
00:37:48,093 --> 00:37:49,969
Tell him about the place now.
544
00:37:49,970 --> 00:37:51,387
Little dangle in your dingle, Prince?
545
00:37:51,388 --> 00:37:52,430
That what's wrong, huh?
546
00:37:52,431 --> 00:37:54,432
Little flaccid in the old member, huh?
547
00:37:54,433 --> 00:37:56,601
We have a girl inside
up on the third floor.
548
00:37:56,602 --> 00:37:58,311
By golly, you're gonna
meet her in a moment.
549
00:37:58,312 --> 00:37:59,812
You're gonna thank Sirus and I
550
00:37:59,813 --> 00:38:01,523
for this the longest day you live.
551
00:38:01,524 --> 00:38:03,441
She'll clean your clock, my Prince.
552
00:38:03,442 --> 00:38:05,693
She'll put a little
starch in the old wee-wee,
553
00:38:05,694 --> 00:38:09,112
if you know what I mean.
554
00:38:10,658 --> 00:38:14,244
Now, when you go in there,
all your troubles will be over
555
00:38:14,245 --> 00:38:16,871
because Snow White and
her seven little friends
556
00:38:16,872 --> 00:38:20,833
have never failed to turn
on a gentleman caller.
557
00:38:20,834 --> 00:38:23,212
I'll try.
558
00:38:24,213 --> 00:38:28,800
You have absolutely
nothing to worry about.
559
00:38:28,801 --> 00:38:32,302
Okay?
560
00:38:35,766 --> 00:38:37,767
- Hey.
- Alright, momma.
561
00:38:37,768 --> 00:38:40,728
We did it.
562
00:38:45,526 --> 00:38:48,195
Didn't work.
563
00:38:58,038 --> 00:38:59,789
If at first you don't succeed...
564
00:38:59,790 --> 00:39:02,458
Try, baby, try it again.
565
00:39:02,459 --> 00:39:05,377
That's good.
566
00:39:15,806 --> 00:39:18,433
♪ It's when we love a man sincerely ♪
567
00:39:18,434 --> 00:39:21,686
♪ That we will treat him so severely ♪
568
00:39:21,687 --> 00:39:23,771
♪ I'll even tie him drastically ♪
569
00:39:23,772 --> 00:39:27,734
♪ If he's as frightened of
you as he is frightened of me ♪
570
00:39:27,735 --> 00:39:30,945
♪ It's so amusing to be abusing ♪
571
00:39:30,946 --> 00:39:36,076
♪ And so we beat him,
Daddy, eight to the bar ♪
572
00:39:40,748 --> 00:39:43,875
♪ It doesn't matter if he's massive ♪
573
00:39:43,876 --> 00:39:47,420
♪ So long as he learns to be passive ♪
574
00:39:47,421 --> 00:39:49,923
♪ It's such a novel thing to see ♪
575
00:39:49,924 --> 00:39:53,051
♪ When he is groveling for
you and he is groveling for me ♪
576
00:39:53,052 --> 00:39:56,262
♪ But they turn ashen when we keep lashin' ♪
577
00:39:56,263 --> 00:39:59,849
♪ We really beat him,
Daddy, eight to the bar ♪
578
00:39:59,850 --> 00:40:04,980
♪ Oh, Daddy we're gonna tan
your hide 'til it's brown ♪
579
00:40:05,356 --> 00:40:09,150
♪ Doo doo doo doo Daddy ♪
580
00:40:09,151 --> 00:40:14,281
♪ We'll turn you on so don't turn us down ♪
581
00:40:31,507 --> 00:40:34,300
♪ Some guys think it's kind of sparky ♪
582
00:40:34,301 --> 00:40:37,345
♪ That we make sex a matriarchy ♪
583
00:40:37,346 --> 00:40:40,348
♪ It's as astounding as can be ♪
584
00:40:40,349 --> 00:40:42,267
♪ They want a pounding from you ♪
585
00:40:42,268 --> 00:40:43,726
♪ They want a pounding from me ♪
586
00:40:43,727 --> 00:40:46,521
♪ It's so amusing to be abusing ♪
587
00:40:46,522 --> 00:40:51,651
♪ And we so beat him, Daddy,
two, four, six, and eight ♪
588
00:40:51,652 --> 00:40:54,973
♪ To the bar ♪
589
00:41:03,497 --> 00:41:05,665
That was fantastic!
590
00:41:05,666 --> 00:41:08,191
But it didn't work.
591
00:41:09,587 --> 00:41:11,963
This look like a job
592
00:41:11,964 --> 00:41:15,934
for Aunt La Voh and her love potion.
593
00:41:17,303 --> 00:41:19,220
Hey, Peeping Tom.
594
00:41:19,221 --> 00:41:21,014
Oh, Tommy Tucker.
595
00:41:21,015 --> 00:41:23,141
Back for another evening
of visual delights,
596
00:41:23,142 --> 00:41:24,767
as it were, hmm?
597
00:41:24,768 --> 00:41:26,269
- Oh.
- Shame on you
598
00:41:26,270 --> 00:41:27,770
but we have something new for you
599
00:41:27,771 --> 00:41:29,397
up in our Leather and Latex suite.
600
00:41:29,398 --> 00:41:33,193
Picture if you can a young girl,
19 years of age,
601
00:41:33,194 --> 00:41:37,989
flashing white alabaster
thighs and she had Gussie set
602
00:41:37,990 --> 00:41:41,159
up a Siberian torture post in the Leather
603
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:43,786
and Latex Suite and she said
that she'd be tied to it
604
00:41:43,787 --> 00:41:46,664
and that we give her a sound
birching on the fleshy parts
605
00:41:46,665 --> 00:41:48,666
of her thighs, if you know what I mean.
606
00:41:48,667 --> 00:41:51,335
Would you like to what that?
607
00:42:58,946 --> 00:43:01,781
Is everyone having a good time?
608
00:43:01,782 --> 00:43:04,408
Oh, hello.
609
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:08,997
Snow White.
610
00:43:08,998 --> 00:43:10,806
Hi!
611
00:43:10,916 --> 00:43:12,000
Where are the dwarves?
612
00:43:12,001 --> 00:43:13,459
Oh, it was past their bedtime.
613
00:43:13,460 --> 00:43:14,711
I tucked them in.
614
00:43:14,712 --> 00:43:16,296
Oh, and the sheep?
615
00:43:16,297 --> 00:43:18,047
I lost them again.
616
00:43:18,048 --> 00:43:19,340
- Again?
- Have you thought
617
00:43:19,341 --> 00:43:22,009
of looking for another job?
618
00:43:22,261 --> 00:43:23,469
Would you like some hors d'oeuvres?
619
00:43:23,470 --> 00:43:24,721
Oh, yes!
620
00:43:24,722 --> 00:43:26,972
Such a nice party.
621
00:43:28,309 --> 00:43:31,019
King Cole, gentlemen,
you're here for the big party.
622
00:43:31,020 --> 00:43:34,355
I bid you welcome to our
humble house of pleasure.
623
00:43:34,356 --> 00:43:36,566
King, let me kiss your thing.
624
00:43:36,567 --> 00:43:37,650
It's his ring.
625
00:43:37,651 --> 00:43:38,693
It's a ring, schumck.
626
00:43:38,694 --> 00:43:40,820
You kiss what you want
I'll kiss what I want.
627
00:43:40,821 --> 00:43:43,031
King, I meant to mention to you,
628
00:43:43,032 --> 00:43:45,241
I was passing your castle
the other day, you know,
629
00:43:45,242 --> 00:43:47,202
and I noticed it's a little rundown,
630
00:43:47,203 --> 00:43:49,078
a little going to seed, as we say.
631
00:43:49,079 --> 00:43:50,955
You know, in addition to being a doorman,
632
00:43:50,956 --> 00:43:53,958
I do represent the ACME
Aluminum Siding and School
633
00:43:53,959 --> 00:43:55,627
of the Dance, you know,
located over in the valley.
634
00:43:55,628 --> 00:43:59,130
We could do a nice job of
siding plus throw in free
635
00:43:59,131 --> 00:44:02,217
of any charge aluminum
storm windows and doors
636
00:44:02,218 --> 00:44:05,011
and some nice cyclone fencing
I think you'd like that.
637
00:44:05,012 --> 00:44:06,346
Later, later, later.
638
00:44:06,347 --> 00:44:07,722
King's here on royal business.
639
00:44:07,723 --> 00:44:08,932
Oh, yeah.
640
00:44:08,933 --> 00:44:10,183
The party's just beginning.
641
00:44:10,184 --> 00:44:11,351
You go inside, gentlemen.
642
00:44:11,352 --> 00:44:12,852
I know the girls are
waiting for you, King.
643
00:44:12,853 --> 00:44:15,438
Thanks for gracing our humble court.
644
00:44:15,439 --> 00:44:19,886
Such a warm king.
645
00:44:37,586 --> 00:44:40,907
Aunt La Voh, Aunt La Voh!
646
00:44:42,383 --> 00:44:46,301
I know she's got to be
around here somewhere.
647
00:45:10,452 --> 00:45:15,582
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
648
00:45:17,918 --> 00:45:21,296
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
649
00:45:21,297 --> 00:45:25,466
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
650
00:45:25,467 --> 00:45:30,597
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
651
00:45:32,516 --> 00:45:36,519
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
652
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:40,982
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
653
00:45:40,983 --> 00:45:44,277
♪ You've got to trust your mystic mama ♪
654
00:45:44,278 --> 00:45:47,447
♪ She's gonna lay her magic on ya ♪
655
00:45:47,448 --> 00:45:51,409
♪ With just a funky incantation ♪
656
00:45:51,410 --> 00:45:55,538
♪ You're gonna be a love sensation ♪
657
00:45:55,539 --> 00:46:00,669
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
658
00:46:02,963 --> 00:46:06,299
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
659
00:46:06,300 --> 00:46:10,762
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
660
00:46:10,763 --> 00:46:15,893
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
661
00:46:18,103 --> 00:46:21,439
♪ You'll feel how good love can be ♪
662
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:25,944
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
663
00:46:25,945 --> 00:46:29,113
♪ You can feel it, baby ♪
664
00:46:29,114 --> 00:46:32,158
♪ Come on and feel it, baby ♪
665
00:46:32,159 --> 00:46:35,870
♪ Now, feel it, baby ♪
666
00:46:35,871 --> 00:46:40,500
♪ Come on and feel it, baby ♪
667
00:46:40,501 --> 00:46:45,631
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
668
00:46:48,050 --> 00:46:51,469
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
669
00:46:51,470 --> 00:46:55,557
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
670
00:46:55,558 --> 00:47:00,643
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
671
00:47:02,773 --> 00:47:06,317
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
672
00:47:06,318 --> 00:47:09,779
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
673
00:47:09,780 --> 00:47:13,700
♪ If you relax and just get near it ♪
674
00:47:13,701 --> 00:47:17,704
♪ You're gonna feel my witchy spirit ♪
675
00:47:17,705 --> 00:47:21,207
♪ I've got a job to cure your trouble ♪
676
00:47:21,208 --> 00:47:25,461
♪ Just listen to my cauldron bubble ♪
677
00:47:25,462 --> 00:47:30,592
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
678
00:47:32,720 --> 00:47:35,972
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
679
00:47:35,973 --> 00:47:40,226
♪ When I spell in you, baby ♪
680
00:47:40,227 --> 00:47:43,313
♪ Now, that I've got you in my power ♪
681
00:47:43,314 --> 00:47:47,233
♪ You'll pass a day in just one hour ♪
682
00:47:47,234 --> 00:47:50,987
♪ I've got a supernatural feeling ♪
683
00:47:50,988 --> 00:47:55,325
♪ That's gonna send your body reeling ♪
684
00:47:55,326 --> 00:48:00,456
♪ You'll feel the magic in me,
I'm telling you, baby ♪
685
00:48:02,625 --> 00:48:05,919
♪ Oh, you'll feel how good love can be ♪
686
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:09,589
♪When I spell in you, baby ♪
687
00:48:09,590 --> 00:48:13,992
♪Oh, oh, telling you, baby ♪
688
00:48:17,264 --> 00:48:21,746
♪ Oh, oh, spelling you, baby ♪
689
00:48:27,566 --> 00:48:29,359
Now, Aunt La Voh,
can you just give us some
690
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:30,944
of that voodoo help?
691
00:48:30,945 --> 00:48:33,154
My friend here, little Princey,
692
00:48:33,155 --> 00:48:36,032
he has a problem with the ladies.
693
00:48:36,033 --> 00:48:38,842
Hand me that bottle.
694
00:48:44,750 --> 00:48:46,637
Pour it in.
695
00:48:48,170 --> 00:48:51,630
Hey, that's Mom's extra dry.
696
00:49:02,142 --> 00:49:04,143
My bloodhound nose is telling me
697
00:49:04,144 --> 00:49:06,521
there's hookers in that shoe.
698
00:49:06,522 --> 00:49:09,274
By the powers invested to me by King Cole
699
00:49:09,275 --> 00:49:11,359
who made me head of the Vice Squad,
700
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,778
I think we're gonna knock off the shoe.
701
00:49:13,779 --> 00:49:16,406
What do we want to
knock off the price for?
702
00:49:16,407 --> 00:49:18,992
Let's go up there and knock off a piece.
703
00:49:18,993 --> 00:49:21,661
Hey, you want a molly.
704
00:49:21,662 --> 00:49:26,792
Otto, wait, I think the doorman
is gonna go to lunch.
705
00:49:28,085 --> 00:49:32,504
There's a big chance now, come on!
706
00:49:51,567 --> 00:49:54,484
The cops, cool it!
707
00:49:56,780 --> 00:50:00,408
Let's get out of here, run!
708
00:50:03,370 --> 00:50:06,247
Well, good evening, Baron.
709
00:50:06,248 --> 00:50:08,082
No good evening me, Boot Anne.
710
00:50:08,083 --> 00:50:09,209
Step aside.
711
00:50:09,210 --> 00:50:10,084
Everybody freeze!
712
00:50:10,085 --> 00:50:11,920
Everybody freeze!
713
00:50:11,921 --> 00:50:14,172
This is a raid.
714
00:50:14,173 --> 00:50:16,758
Welcome to my boarding house.
715
00:50:16,759 --> 00:50:18,009
Boarding house?
716
00:50:18,010 --> 00:50:19,135
You mean, bawdy house.
717
00:50:19,136 --> 00:50:23,345
- This is a bawdy house.
- Shut up, you.
718
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:26,142
Your Majesty.
719
00:50:26,143 --> 00:50:29,187
Relax, these are my friends.
720
00:50:29,188 --> 00:50:31,553
Have a good time.
721
00:50:32,441 --> 00:50:33,983
The coast is clear!
722
00:50:33,984 --> 00:50:36,902
Everyone can come back!
723
00:50:43,118 --> 00:50:45,119
I'm sorry, I mean, it just didn't work.
724
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:49,290
The bubbles tickled my nose and
the steam ruined my sinuses.
725
00:50:49,291 --> 00:50:53,421
I may never smell again.
726
00:50:55,172 --> 00:50:58,336
Looks like rain.
727
00:51:04,515 --> 00:51:08,183
But ladies, ladies,
what would the bishops say?
728
00:51:08,394 --> 00:51:09,978
He just left a few minutes ago.
729
00:51:09,979 --> 00:51:12,479
Oh?
730
00:51:13,899 --> 00:51:18,360
Hey, look at King Cole,
just look at him.
731
00:51:20,406 --> 00:51:22,740
You're having a good time, aren't you?
732
00:51:22,741 --> 00:51:24,242
What do you look at?
733
00:51:24,243 --> 00:51:25,285
You lost my act up, get out of here.
734
00:51:25,286 --> 00:51:27,161
Why don't you jump off
the chair to get out of here?
735
00:51:27,162 --> 00:51:29,079
Come on.
736
00:51:32,459 --> 00:51:34,627
I have to drink more champagne,
more champagne!
737
00:51:34,628 --> 00:51:35,837
Let me ask you a question.
738
00:51:35,838 --> 00:51:36,963
What?
739
00:51:36,964 --> 00:51:38,464
Where's your dwarves tonight?
740
00:51:38,465 --> 00:51:39,549
Oh, it's past their bedtime.
741
00:51:39,550 --> 00:51:41,134
They don't even know I'm here.
742
00:51:41,135 --> 00:51:43,553
Yeah, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.
743
00:51:43,554 --> 00:51:46,472
You got a little dwarf up there named...
744
00:51:46,473 --> 00:51:47,557
Which one?
745
00:51:47,558 --> 00:51:50,481
I've got seven of them.
746
00:51:50,895 --> 00:51:53,980
Oh, Cheech,
a little one named Cheech, right.
747
00:51:53,981 --> 00:51:56,608
He hasn't been gambling again, has he?
748
00:51:56,609 --> 00:51:58,818
That's right and he owes
me a lot of money, too.
749
00:51:58,819 --> 00:52:00,778
Okay, how much?
750
00:52:00,779 --> 00:52:01,654
There you go, there you go.
751
00:52:01,655 --> 00:52:02,864
Tick tick tick.
752
00:52:02,865 --> 00:52:04,449
Everybody going up to the room
753
00:52:04,450 --> 00:52:07,976
what do you think of that idea?
754
00:52:08,704 --> 00:52:10,538
I have a hard time deciding
which of you lovelies
755
00:52:10,539 --> 00:52:12,998
to do this with.
756
00:53:12,810 --> 00:53:14,561
Hiya, Frog Prince.
757
00:53:14,562 --> 00:53:17,021
Hey, gonna give it another shot tonight?
758
00:53:17,022 --> 00:53:18,898
Yes, Thomas, as you know,
759
00:53:18,899 --> 00:53:21,359
I must try and find
a virgin who will kiss me
760
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:27,360
and lift the curse that turned me
into a frog so long ago.
761
00:54:07,031 --> 00:54:09,324
Hey, I got a couple of good ideas, huh?
762
00:54:09,325 --> 00:54:11,659
I take you someplace
else besides this place
763
00:54:11,660 --> 00:54:14,495
because here there's too much
things going on I don't like.
764
00:54:14,496 --> 00:54:17,623
Me, I'm a clean living guy.
765
00:54:20,377 --> 00:54:22,586
How do you like that, buster?
766
00:54:22,838 --> 00:54:25,548
You really think you give them a throat?
767
00:54:25,549 --> 00:54:28,843
Try me here, come one,
give me a little bit,
768
00:54:28,844 --> 00:54:30,261
give me a little bit.
769
00:54:30,262 --> 00:54:32,096
Come on, give me a little bit.
770
00:54:32,097 --> 00:54:34,973
Come on, oh, yes.
771
00:54:40,397 --> 00:54:42,357
Oh, you belong to me, baby.
772
00:54:42,358 --> 00:54:45,443
You so nice.
773
00:54:52,701 --> 00:54:55,369
Hey!
774
00:55:02,002 --> 00:55:04,288
Get out of here!
775
00:55:04,672 --> 00:55:07,006
Now, sir, this is no fruity bootery no.
776
00:55:07,007 --> 00:55:09,133
This is people of your normal persuasion,
777
00:55:09,134 --> 00:55:11,636
people of your standard, ongoing interest.
778
00:55:11,637 --> 00:55:13,346
Now, to introduce the place,
779
00:55:13,347 --> 00:55:15,390
we have an amazing three piece offer.
780
00:55:15,391 --> 00:55:16,266
Here's what you get.
781
00:55:16,267 --> 00:55:18,893
First, the visit to
our Salon du Cinderella
782
00:55:18,894 --> 00:55:22,397
where we have the girls
from the Rose Bowl parade,
783
00:55:22,398 --> 00:55:24,148
you know, with the little boots on
784
00:55:24,149 --> 00:55:27,068
and you slip those tight little
boots off and you go around
785
00:55:27,069 --> 00:55:29,571
and try to glass slipper on those chubby,
786
00:55:29,572 --> 00:55:31,114
aching little feet.
787
00:55:31,115 --> 00:55:34,200
Then number two, you visit
our Salon of S and M.
788
00:55:34,201 --> 00:55:35,910
Now, on your first visit,
789
00:55:35,911 --> 00:55:37,704
you can't expect the girls to flog you.
790
00:55:37,705 --> 00:55:39,789
They're nice girls,
but maybe I can talk to one
791
00:55:39,790 --> 00:55:41,457
and have them backhand you goodnight
792
00:55:41,458 --> 00:55:43,626
and then if you want, you can have sex
793
00:55:43,627 --> 00:55:45,128
with some of the ladies.
794
00:55:45,129 --> 00:55:46,546
That's $20 to have sex.
795
00:55:46,547 --> 00:55:47,630
Good, good.
796
00:55:47,631 --> 00:55:48,923
$30 if you want to touch the sides.
797
00:55:48,924 --> 00:55:50,425
Why don't you just go right inside
798
00:55:50,426 --> 00:55:52,177
- and enjoy yourself?
- Okay, thank you.
799
00:55:52,178 --> 00:55:57,069
I think you'll become
a lifetime member, sir.
800
00:55:57,266 --> 00:55:59,100
Don't worry about a thing, Princey.
801
00:55:59,101 --> 00:56:00,768
We're gonna have to going in, come on, baby.
802
00:56:00,769 --> 00:56:04,063
Just leave it to me, leave it to me.
803
00:56:04,064 --> 00:56:05,815
Now, that's alright.
804
00:56:05,816 --> 00:56:08,359
The man will put a
boner on Mother Hubbard.
805
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:09,694
How's it going, Tommy?
806
00:56:09,695 --> 00:56:10,945
Oh, not so good.
807
00:56:10,946 --> 00:56:12,113
Things don't look very
well with you, Sirus.
808
00:56:12,114 --> 00:56:13,281
What's with the prince?
809
00:56:13,282 --> 00:56:18,412
Oh, man, it's like a Great Dane
in a poodle, piss poor.
810
00:56:20,414 --> 00:56:22,123
Sims, Sirus, how are you?
811
00:56:22,124 --> 00:56:23,291
I'm glad you're back.
812
00:56:23,292 --> 00:56:24,542
Hello.
813
00:56:24,543 --> 00:56:26,510
How'd it go?
814
00:56:26,587 --> 00:56:28,254
Nothing happened.
815
00:56:28,255 --> 00:56:29,672
That's all that ever happens.
816
00:56:29,673 --> 00:56:30,798
Nothing ever happens.
817
00:56:30,799 --> 00:56:33,551
First Snow White with the dwarves
818
00:56:33,552 --> 00:56:35,887
and the dwarves I've had up to here
819
00:56:35,888 --> 00:56:41,018
and then the whips and then
the cockamamie cauldron
820
00:56:41,227 --> 00:56:42,977
with the...
821
00:56:42,978 --> 00:56:45,271
You're looking at a desperate person.
822
00:56:45,272 --> 00:56:48,024
Well, Sirus, you're not taking care
823
00:56:48,025 --> 00:56:51,361
of our gentleman caller
very well, are you now?
824
00:56:51,362 --> 00:56:52,612
I got it!
825
00:56:52,613 --> 00:56:55,323
What about the star attraction?
826
00:56:55,324 --> 00:56:58,243
Uh, nobody goes into the Star Room
827
00:56:58,244 --> 00:57:02,913
unless you're talking some heavy money.
828
00:57:03,958 --> 00:57:06,626
15 percent of all I own.
829
00:57:06,627 --> 00:57:08,435
20.
830
00:57:09,797 --> 00:57:12,048
16, and that's my last offer.
831
00:57:12,049 --> 00:57:14,926
Um, let's split the difference.
832
00:57:14,927 --> 00:57:18,262
18 and you got a deal.
833
00:57:22,685 --> 00:57:24,561
Alright.
834
00:57:24,562 --> 00:57:25,645
Where is she?
835
00:57:25,646 --> 00:57:26,938
Oh, wonderful, this way.
836
00:57:26,939 --> 00:57:28,147
Come on, baby.
837
00:57:28,148 --> 00:57:30,607
We'll get up something new.
838
00:57:31,068 --> 00:57:33,903
This is something really special
839
00:57:33,904 --> 00:57:37,430
and by the way, she's a virgin.
840
00:57:37,950 --> 00:57:41,077
♪ Dealer's okay, our fortunes are made ♪
841
00:57:41,078 --> 00:57:46,040
♪ Are going like a virgin and
there'll be a blessed event ♪
842
00:57:46,041 --> 00:57:50,712
♪ The day we get out 18 percent ♪
843
00:57:50,713 --> 00:57:53,798
♪ 'Scuse me, my King, good tidings I bring ♪
844
00:57:53,799 --> 00:57:58,887
♪ A virgin sleeping upstairs
in the highest room in the shoe ♪
845
00:57:58,888 --> 00:58:03,725
♪ And maybe she's the lady for you ♪
846
00:58:03,726 --> 00:58:06,477
♪ Although it's absurd, I just overheard ♪
847
00:58:06,478 --> 00:58:11,608
♪ That Sirus has a cutie
who's a virgin definitely ♪
848
00:58:11,984 --> 00:58:16,571
♪ That means that she's the lady for me ♪
849
00:58:16,572 --> 00:58:21,326
♪ A virgin, I'm gonna have
her checked by a surgeon ♪
850
00:58:21,327 --> 00:58:24,495
♪ To see the type I'd like to submerge in ♪
851
00:58:24,496 --> 00:58:29,375
♪ It's in the shoe,
I'm known as the royal despoiler ♪
852
00:58:29,376 --> 00:58:34,255
♪ A maiden, I'll try to use
the Queen for a trade in ♪
853
00:58:34,256 --> 00:58:37,425
♪ I'd clear the bloody palace and wade in ♪
854
00:58:37,426 --> 00:58:42,590
♪ 'Cause I've been waiting so long ♪
855
00:58:42,890 --> 00:58:45,433
♪ If that girl's asleep,
that means she counts sheep ♪
856
00:58:45,434 --> 00:58:48,728
♪ So surely as a shepherdess
she'd be first weight ♪
857
00:58:48,729 --> 00:58:53,814
♪ Yes, siree and maybe
she'd take over for me ♪
858
00:58:54,944 --> 00:58:58,363
♪ Pardon me boys but wait 'til the noise ♪
859
00:58:58,364 --> 00:59:01,366
♪ Don't hesitate she'll
hardly wait would indicate ♪
860
00:59:01,367 --> 00:59:04,369
♪ The hard to get some seafood mama ♪
861
00:59:04,370 --> 00:59:08,081
♪ So join the horn to climb
aboard the virgin express ♪
862
00:59:08,082 --> 00:59:11,244
♪ Woo woo ♪
863
00:59:11,710 --> 00:59:14,504
♪ I would abscond to some lily pond ♪
864
00:59:14,505 --> 00:59:16,130
♪ I've heard that there's a maiden ♪
865
00:59:16,131 --> 00:59:19,759
♪ Who's been trained amphibiously ♪
866
00:59:19,760 --> 00:59:23,846
♪ And maybe she's the lady for me ♪
867
00:59:24,348 --> 00:59:29,143
♪ Que bella, a girl who's
never been with a fella ♪
868
00:59:29,144 --> 00:59:32,730
♪ I tell you, Otto, that's what I smell ♪
869
00:59:32,731 --> 00:59:37,443
♪ A maiden who's so
pure she must be Italian ♪
870
00:59:37,444 --> 00:59:42,156
♪ A beauty and everybody
feels it's his duty ♪
871
00:59:42,157 --> 00:59:45,285
♪ To make it with this virginal cutie ♪
872
00:59:45,286 --> 00:59:50,086
♪ She's been a virgin so long ♪
873
00:59:50,624 --> 00:59:55,086
♪ A virgin, the people in
this shoe need no urgin' ♪
874
00:59:55,087 --> 00:59:58,298
♪ To try it with the best heart surgeon ♪
875
00:59:58,299 --> 01:00:03,219
♪ 'Cause anybody knows
that she's worth a kingdom ♪
876
01:00:03,220 --> 01:00:07,891
♪ A beauty and everybody
feels it's his duty ♪
877
01:00:07,892 --> 01:00:11,144
♪ To make it with this virginal cutie ♪
878
01:00:11,145 --> 01:00:16,036
♪ Who's been a virgin too long ♪
879
01:00:18,235 --> 01:00:20,570
♪ Been a virgin too long ♪
880
01:00:20,571 --> 01:00:23,072
Boy, I can't wait to see her.
881
01:00:23,073 --> 01:00:24,532
But no touching.
882
01:00:24,533 --> 01:00:25,700
You have my royal word.
883
01:00:25,701 --> 01:00:26,868
No, I mean you, Sirus.
884
01:00:26,869 --> 01:00:29,245
Oh, for 18 percent
of the royal exchequer,
885
01:00:29,246 --> 01:00:34,666
I'd give up pussy for life,
if I have to that is.
886
01:00:59,610 --> 01:01:01,945
Are you ready?
887
01:01:01,946 --> 01:01:03,071
I'm ready, I'm ready.
888
01:01:03,072 --> 01:01:06,241
And here we have our star attraction.
889
01:01:06,242 --> 01:01:08,951
Here we go.
890
01:01:12,164 --> 01:01:15,208
Uh,
891
01:01:15,209 --> 01:01:19,045
I want you to know that
I really appreciate this.
892
01:01:19,046 --> 01:01:21,047
You are shy, aren't you?
893
01:01:21,048 --> 01:01:23,757
You know these things take time.
894
01:01:24,927 --> 01:01:26,719
See for a minute,
I thought it was gonna turn out
895
01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:28,805
to be my dream Princess.
896
01:01:28,806 --> 01:01:32,207
Well, I guess you can't hope for too much.
897
01:01:34,019 --> 01:01:36,354
Sirus, I want you to
know how grateful I am,
898
01:01:36,355 --> 01:01:38,898
how much I really appreciate
everything that you've done,
899
01:01:38,899 --> 01:01:41,985
but I know who I want
and as long as any time,
900
01:01:41,986 --> 01:01:46,957
as long as there's a chance,
I'm gonna find her.
901
01:01:49,201 --> 01:01:52,494
Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute!
902
01:01:54,707 --> 01:01:57,500
Just think, a virgin.
903
01:01:57,501 --> 01:02:00,868
I know she's here, but where?
904
01:02:01,046 --> 01:02:04,631
Never fear, my nose is here.
905
01:02:05,176 --> 01:02:06,759
Wait.
906
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:11,264
Simp, you just blew
18 percent of a kingdom!
907
01:02:11,265 --> 01:02:13,349
She's on the top floor.
908
01:02:13,350 --> 01:02:16,810
Top floor!
909
01:02:23,861 --> 01:02:25,445
Going down?
910
01:02:25,446 --> 01:02:27,197
I never go down.
911
01:02:27,198 --> 01:02:29,404
I always go up!
912
01:02:29,533 --> 01:02:31,451
You stay here, I'll go after him.
913
01:02:31,452 --> 01:02:33,658
But, aw, shit.
914
01:02:40,669 --> 01:02:42,754
Sirus, quick!
915
01:02:42,755 --> 01:02:44,172
There's a whole mob coming
out of the elevator.
916
01:02:44,173 --> 01:02:46,007
You get rid of her,
I'll take care of the Prince.
917
01:02:46,008 --> 01:02:48,373
Quick, out the side door!
918
01:02:52,389 --> 01:02:54,515
Woo, virgin!
919
01:02:57,269 --> 01:02:59,077
Virgin?
920
01:02:59,355 --> 01:03:01,163
Virgin?
921
01:03:04,318 --> 01:03:06,604
Innocent girl?
922
01:03:07,696 --> 01:03:11,198
Hey, what's going on here?
923
01:03:13,244 --> 01:03:14,702
This way, Sirus.
924
01:03:14,703 --> 01:03:15,870
My child, where are you?
925
01:03:15,871 --> 01:03:17,997
Where can you be?
926
01:03:17,998 --> 01:03:23,162
Room, empty, barren,
no women, least of all, a virgin.
927
01:03:27,591 --> 01:03:30,385
You said she would be here!
928
01:03:30,386 --> 01:03:34,037
You, you and that nose of yours!
929
01:03:36,267 --> 01:03:37,684
I said the virgin was here.
930
01:03:37,685 --> 01:03:39,644
My nose make no mistake.
931
01:03:39,645 --> 01:03:42,105
You nose makes no mistake?
932
01:03:42,106 --> 01:03:44,915
You nose, sir, stinks!
933
01:03:45,359 --> 01:03:47,443
Eh, no talk that way about my nose.
934
01:03:47,444 --> 01:03:51,656
That's all I got, my nose
and this schmuck over here.
935
01:03:51,657 --> 01:03:52,824
You get me in a lot of trouble.
936
01:03:52,825 --> 01:03:55,994
You're gonna pound beef
for this and half pay.
937
01:03:55,995 --> 01:03:57,245
Wait.
938
01:03:57,246 --> 01:03:58,413
Yes?
939
01:03:58,414 --> 01:04:00,664
Everybody shut up!
940
01:04:02,042 --> 01:04:03,668
I smell something again.
941
01:04:03,669 --> 01:04:05,545
Trust me, King.
942
01:04:05,546 --> 01:04:07,463
The virgin, she went this way.
943
01:04:07,464 --> 01:04:08,673
Follow me, excuse me.
944
01:04:08,674 --> 01:04:10,757
Come on.
945
01:05:01,018 --> 01:05:04,478
Sirus, quickly over here.
946
01:05:17,159 --> 01:05:22,323
Now, I think it's time you
and I had a nice long talk.
947
01:05:26,085 --> 01:05:28,127
I know what your problem is, Prince.
948
01:05:28,128 --> 01:05:29,504
It's that you've never been with a woman.
949
01:05:29,505 --> 01:05:30,672
Listen...
950
01:05:30,673 --> 01:05:31,798
I'm going to show you things
951
01:05:31,799 --> 01:05:34,384
that you can never imagine
in your wildest dry dreams.
952
01:05:34,385 --> 01:05:35,426
I don't have time for this.
953
01:05:35,427 --> 01:05:36,553
It's Wednesday.
954
01:05:36,554 --> 01:05:37,762
At 12:00 I turn into a peasant.
955
01:05:37,763 --> 01:05:39,013
Oh, touch me, put your hands on me.
956
01:05:39,014 --> 01:05:40,098
I don't want to touch you.
957
01:05:40,099 --> 01:05:41,349
Kiss me, kiss me, touch me.
958
01:05:41,350 --> 01:05:42,517
I'll touch you, okay.
959
01:05:42,518 --> 01:05:43,601
Come on, kiss me.
960
01:05:43,602 --> 01:05:44,853
Put your mouth on mine.
961
01:05:44,854 --> 01:05:46,062
Okay.
962
01:05:46,063 --> 01:05:47,105
Oh, I want you.
963
01:05:47,106 --> 01:05:48,356
I can teach you anything
that you want to know.
964
01:05:48,357 --> 01:05:49,440
I can solve your problem.
965
01:05:49,441 --> 01:05:50,525
No, please, I really I have to go.
966
01:05:50,526 --> 01:05:51,985
Fabulous, you're absolutely
wonderful and soft.
967
01:05:51,986 --> 01:05:54,445
- No.
- You're warm.
968
01:05:54,446 --> 01:05:55,780
No, I'm a fake.
969
01:05:55,781 --> 01:05:57,323
You're beautiful, oh, my goodness.
970
01:05:57,324 --> 01:05:58,533
It would never work.
971
01:05:58,534 --> 01:06:00,410
It's been so long.
972
01:06:00,411 --> 01:06:01,578
No, I...
973
01:06:01,579 --> 01:06:02,787
Oh, you just do something to me.
974
01:06:02,788 --> 01:06:03,955
Oh.
975
01:06:03,956 --> 01:06:05,039
Can you feel anything?
976
01:06:05,040 --> 01:06:06,207
Uh, sharp pain in the neck.
977
01:06:06,208 --> 01:06:07,375
I think it's probably this.
978
01:06:07,376 --> 01:06:08,543
- It's a whip.
- And your throbbing heart...
979
01:06:08,544 --> 01:06:10,128
Yes, throbbing good throbbing.
980
01:06:10,129 --> 01:06:12,380
Listen, maybe we could
take a rain check on this.
981
01:06:12,381 --> 01:06:14,299
You know, if you're ever
in my kingdom, look me up.
982
01:06:14,300 --> 01:06:15,550
I have a shoe.
983
01:06:15,551 --> 01:06:18,552
It's not as big as this shoe.
984
01:06:18,804 --> 01:06:20,612
Say now.
985
01:06:20,723 --> 01:06:22,140
Hey, sucker.
986
01:06:22,141 --> 01:06:24,100
My name is Sirus.
987
01:06:24,101 --> 01:06:26,519
Sirus what, the sissy?
988
01:06:26,520 --> 01:06:28,104
You know something?
989
01:06:28,105 --> 01:06:30,315
Your face looks kind of familiar.
990
01:06:30,316 --> 01:06:31,858
Where do you come from, boy?
991
01:06:31,859 --> 01:06:33,701
Boy!
992
01:06:33,819 --> 01:06:38,071
Boy lives in the jungle with Tarzan, man.
993
01:07:45,766 --> 01:07:48,351
Listen, I really do, I have to go.
994
01:07:48,352 --> 01:07:50,979
Okay, we're holding, just basic holding.
995
01:07:50,980 --> 01:07:53,397
Okay, now, I'm leaving.
996
01:07:55,150 --> 01:07:56,401
Do you feel me?
997
01:07:56,402 --> 01:07:57,735
- Yes, I feel.
- Do you feel me?
998
01:07:57,736 --> 01:07:58,903
Yes, I feel that, yes.
999
01:07:58,904 --> 01:07:59,988
And then your clothes are coming off?
1000
01:07:59,989 --> 01:08:02,031
No.
1001
01:08:02,032 --> 01:08:03,616
- They are.
- Oh, well,
1002
01:08:03,617 --> 01:08:05,743
we'll just hold them
together like that there
1003
01:08:05,744 --> 01:08:06,911
and that's good.
1004
01:08:06,912 --> 01:08:07,996
Don't be shy.
1005
01:08:07,997 --> 01:08:09,330
You are very shy, aren't you?
1006
01:08:09,331 --> 01:08:10,331
My shy?
1007
01:08:10,332 --> 01:08:11,666
I like it.
1008
01:08:11,667 --> 01:08:12,876
My shy?
1009
01:08:12,877 --> 01:08:14,002
We have plenty of time, you know.
1010
01:08:14,003 --> 01:08:15,169
No, no, time I don't have.
1011
01:08:15,170 --> 01:08:17,046
What's that thing you got down there?
1012
01:08:17,047 --> 01:08:18,756
That's my codpiece.
1013
01:08:18,757 --> 01:08:21,217
You know, you're a funny looking nigga.
1014
01:08:21,218 --> 01:08:22,980
Shit.
1015
01:08:27,975 --> 01:08:31,018
Wait, I smell something.
1016
01:08:39,028 --> 01:08:41,362
My nose say she's on this floor.
1017
01:08:41,363 --> 01:08:43,781
You three check in there
1018
01:08:43,782 --> 01:08:46,432
and I'll go in here.
1019
01:08:47,494 --> 01:08:49,953
Sure, boss.
1020
01:09:01,050 --> 01:09:02,383
Ah!
1021
01:09:02,384 --> 01:09:05,053
What's the matter, sire?
1022
01:09:05,054 --> 01:09:07,704
Prince, Prince Frog!
1023
01:09:28,077 --> 01:09:29,327
Can you feel me?
1024
01:09:29,328 --> 01:09:30,828
Yeah, I can feel you, yes,
1025
01:09:30,829 --> 01:09:32,121
but I really, I have to go now.
1026
01:09:32,122 --> 01:09:33,122
Oh, that's good, that's good.
1027
01:09:33,123 --> 01:09:34,249
Yes.
1028
01:09:34,250 --> 01:09:36,000
Yes, next to me, yes.
1029
01:09:36,001 --> 01:09:37,669
- No, wait!
- Next to me.
1030
01:09:37,670 --> 01:09:38,920
Oh, no, my Prince darling, no!
1031
01:09:38,921 --> 01:09:43,800
Wait, wait, wait!
1032
01:09:43,801 --> 01:09:46,176
Come back here!
1033
01:09:49,515 --> 01:09:50,890
Where is she?
1034
01:09:50,891 --> 01:09:51,891
Aw, shut up.
1035
01:09:51,892 --> 01:09:54,185
Come over, I want to talk to you.
1036
01:09:54,186 --> 01:09:57,272
I had him so close he was
almost inside of my nostrils,
1037
01:09:57,273 --> 01:09:58,773
I smell him so good.
1038
01:09:58,774 --> 01:10:00,275
You, I gotta wait for you all the time.
1039
01:10:00,276 --> 01:10:01,943
You louse me up all the time.
1040
01:10:01,944 --> 01:10:04,279
You like to have too much fun,
you fall, you drink,
1041
01:10:04,280 --> 01:10:06,531
you under the girls' skirts
and play with the squeezebox.
1042
01:10:06,532 --> 01:10:08,449
I don't know what you do no more.
1043
01:10:08,450 --> 01:10:09,909
You louse me up.
1044
01:10:09,910 --> 01:10:11,160
You're always putting me down.
1045
01:10:11,161 --> 01:10:13,496
You put me down,
you put me down, all the time!
1046
01:10:13,497 --> 01:10:15,206
I put you down?
1047
01:10:15,207 --> 01:10:17,375
When I met you, you was down.
1048
01:10:17,376 --> 01:10:19,168
I'm gonna tell you something.
1049
01:10:19,169 --> 01:10:20,795
This is not the only thing making me mad.
1050
01:10:20,796 --> 01:10:21,963
Let's not talk about it!
1051
01:10:21,964 --> 01:10:23,006
Let's do it!
1052
01:10:23,007 --> 01:10:24,549
En guard, come on!
1053
01:10:24,550 --> 01:10:29,680
En guard, en guard, en guard.
1054
01:10:30,806 --> 01:10:32,931
You son of a bitch.
1055
01:10:33,309 --> 01:10:34,642
I kill you, I kill you!
1056
01:10:34,643 --> 01:10:36,519
What are you doing?
1057
01:10:36,520 --> 01:10:39,314
Will you leave that man alone?
1058
01:10:39,315 --> 01:10:41,149
What are you doing here?
1059
01:10:41,150 --> 01:10:42,275
It's not like it looks.
1060
01:10:42,276 --> 01:10:44,401
- I was giving little massage...
- Massage?
1061
01:10:55,539 --> 01:10:58,332
Wait 'til I catch you!
1062
01:11:00,711 --> 01:11:02,920
I hear something.
1063
01:11:06,175 --> 01:11:10,782
Oh, I see you!
1064
01:11:12,848 --> 01:11:15,599
Come with me, come on!
1065
01:11:20,439 --> 01:11:22,247
Ah, ha!
1066
01:11:51,971 --> 01:11:53,471
Sirus!
1067
01:11:53,472 --> 01:11:56,306
It's my dream Princess.
1068
01:12:06,861 --> 01:12:11,149
Hey, Gussie.
1069
01:12:15,494 --> 01:12:18,705
Look what I have for you.
1070
01:12:18,706 --> 01:12:20,456
- A prince.
- I know.
1071
01:12:20,457 --> 01:12:22,500
I've been waiting for him to kiss me.
1072
01:12:22,501 --> 01:12:24,335
What took you so long?
1073
01:12:24,336 --> 01:12:25,587
Not so fast.
1074
01:12:25,588 --> 01:12:28,381
You have to turn around first, you know.
1075
01:12:28,382 --> 01:12:32,010
Okay.
1076
01:12:32,011 --> 01:12:35,430
Oh, you've got to do better than that.
1077
01:12:35,431 --> 01:12:38,001
I don't know how.
1078
01:12:41,478 --> 01:12:43,770
I'll show you how.
1079
01:13:20,017 --> 01:13:24,146
I waited such a long time to find you.
1080
01:15:14,548 --> 01:15:16,257
Where's the virgin?
1081
01:15:16,258 --> 01:15:17,842
She's in there.
1082
01:15:17,843 --> 01:15:20,720
But wait, you can't go in there!
1083
01:15:20,721 --> 01:15:24,848
Oh, no.
1084
01:15:44,203 --> 01:15:46,412
It's probably the last
virgin in Fairy Land
1085
01:15:46,413 --> 01:15:48,494
and I blew it.
1086
01:15:54,547 --> 01:15:56,214
Well, listen, thank you very much.
1087
01:15:56,215 --> 01:15:57,507
We have to go now.
1088
01:15:57,508 --> 01:15:59,300
Really.
1089
01:15:59,301 --> 01:16:00,343
Now, you remember everything I told you.
1090
01:16:00,344 --> 01:16:01,803
- Alright.
- Okay, goodbye!
1091
01:16:01,804 --> 01:16:03,012
Is everything okay now?
1092
01:16:03,013 --> 01:16:04,888
Yeah!
1093
01:16:10,437 --> 01:16:13,280
- Bye!
- See you later!
1094
01:16:13,691 --> 01:16:15,983
Have fun!
1095
01:16:21,949 --> 01:16:23,757
Have fun!
1096
01:16:49,435 --> 01:16:51,102
Is the Prince in?
1097
01:16:51,103 --> 01:16:52,395
Always.
1098
01:16:52,396 --> 01:16:54,105
Is he up?
1099
01:16:54,106 --> 01:16:55,565
Constantly.
1100
01:16:55,566 --> 01:16:57,525
May we see him?
1101
01:16:57,526 --> 01:17:00,277
Doesn't look good.
1102
01:17:58,212 --> 01:18:00,099
Hi, there.
1103
01:18:00,464 --> 01:18:04,300
Now, wasn't that a wonderful
motion picture, friends?
1104
01:18:04,301 --> 01:18:08,221
Wasn't it marvelous when
the Prince met the love
1105
01:18:08,222 --> 01:18:11,140
of his life and by golly, you know,
1106
01:18:11,141 --> 01:18:13,184
they lived happily ever after.
1107
01:18:13,185 --> 01:18:15,770
Now, we want you to go home,
tell your friends
1108
01:18:15,771 --> 01:18:19,399
and neighbors about this warm
and wonderful motion picture.
1109
01:18:19,400 --> 01:18:21,568
It's a family picture, friends.
1110
01:18:21,569 --> 01:18:24,654
Mom and the kids can come
for the music and dancing
1111
01:18:24,655 --> 01:18:26,781
and Dad will enjoy the meat.
1112
01:18:26,782 --> 01:18:29,909
So you go and tell your friends
about this wonderful film
1113
01:18:29,910 --> 01:18:32,579
and to show their thanks and appreciation
1114
01:18:32,580 --> 01:18:35,164
of your attendance at this theater today,
1115
01:18:35,165 --> 01:18:38,126
the producers have asked me
to make available to you
1116
01:18:38,127 --> 01:18:41,337
a wonderful three piece
set of merchandise,
1117
01:18:41,338 --> 01:18:44,132
available only to our patrons.
1118
01:18:44,133 --> 01:18:46,885
I'm going to show you
now that three piece set
1119
01:18:46,886 --> 01:18:48,887
I think you're going to want to own.
1120
01:18:48,888 --> 01:18:52,140
Item number one, a one ounce jar
1121
01:18:52,141 --> 01:18:57,271
of Aunt La Voh's love potion,
salve, unguent, and balm.
1122
01:18:57,438 --> 01:19:00,690
By golly, put a few drops of
that in a loved one's beverage,
1123
01:19:00,691 --> 01:19:03,151
she'll probably be on the gear shift
1124
01:19:03,152 --> 01:19:04,944
if you know what I mean.
1125
01:19:04,945 --> 01:19:07,864
Put that on any part of your body,
private or public,
1126
01:19:07,865 --> 01:19:10,867
and the sensations you
get you'll thank me for
1127
01:19:10,868 --> 01:19:12,535
the longest day you live.
1128
01:19:12,536 --> 01:19:14,787
Let's call that one item number one.
1129
01:19:14,788 --> 01:19:17,074
Item number two,
1130
01:19:19,418 --> 01:19:24,025
the official Fairytale
Little Bo Peep sheep.
1131
01:19:25,966 --> 01:19:28,551
This sheep is designed
for the single gent,
1132
01:19:28,552 --> 01:19:31,679
the lonely fellow,
if you know what I mean,
1133
01:19:31,680 --> 01:19:33,932
and what you do with that in the privacy
1134
01:19:33,933 --> 01:19:37,352
of your own home is
nobody's business but your own.
1135
01:19:37,353 --> 01:19:39,646
Let's call that one item number two.
1136
01:19:39,647 --> 01:19:43,969
Item number three, isn't this wonderful?
1137
01:19:44,318 --> 01:19:48,029
That's your official codpiece as worn
1138
01:19:48,030 --> 01:19:51,115
by Sirus in this motion picture.
1139
01:19:51,116 --> 01:19:53,660
Friends, that is an amazing codpiece.
1140
01:19:53,661 --> 01:19:57,288
It's ideal for dining
and disco, desk or den.
1141
01:19:57,289 --> 01:19:59,833
By golly, just wear that
codpiece on the beach
1142
01:19:59,834 --> 01:20:03,169
or while dancing and
the girls will love it, too.
1143
01:20:03,170 --> 01:20:04,420
They'll say to you,
1144
01:20:04,421 --> 01:20:06,464
"By golly, you are a lovely man.
1145
01:20:06,465 --> 01:20:09,217
"That is a handsome member indeed."
1146
01:20:09,218 --> 01:20:10,760
You'll thank me for that.
1147
01:20:10,761 --> 01:20:12,303
That's something everyone wants.
1148
01:20:12,304 --> 01:20:15,473
It's something no young fellow
should be without, by golly.
1149
01:20:15,474 --> 01:20:20,686
Friends, I want to thank you
the longest day you live.
85202
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