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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,266 --> 00:00:01,733 CHARLIE: Once upon a time, 2 00:00:01,767 --> 00:00:04,770 there were three little girls who went to the police academy. 3 00:00:15,647 --> 00:00:20,985 And they were each assigned very hazardous duties. 4 00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:22,787 But I took them away from all that, 5 00:00:22,821 --> 00:00:26,957 and now they work for me. My name is Charlie. 6 00:01:39,765 --> 00:01:41,432 Hey! 7 00:01:59,551 --> 00:02:01,752 [COUGHING] 8 00:02:05,157 --> 00:02:08,559 [SCREAMING] 9 00:02:18,637 --> 00:02:21,906 Well, what kind of people are the victims, Mr. Strauss? 10 00:02:21,940 --> 00:02:23,007 Just people, Bosley. 11 00:02:23,042 --> 00:02:25,544 No big-shots, no super-rich people. 12 00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:27,445 Just ordinary people. 13 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,515 This thing has happened to every ship I've sent out 14 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,317 during the last six months. 15 00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:34,152 Open steam valves. 16 00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:35,554 Stairways collapsing. 17 00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:38,122 Somebody disappearing from aboard. 18 00:02:38,157 --> 00:02:42,460 At least two incidents on every voyage. 19 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,229 And you have no idea who could be responsible? 20 00:02:44,263 --> 00:02:46,697 An enemy maybe, or a competitor? 21 00:02:46,732 --> 00:02:49,200 No, no one. 22 00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:52,170 Every nickel I have is in this company. 23 00:02:52,204 --> 00:02:54,305 My company has a public image of being jinxed, 24 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:56,640 so I have no passengers. 25 00:02:56,675 --> 00:02:59,177 Without passengers, I'm ruined. 26 00:02:59,211 --> 00:03:01,379 Is the insurance company going to send an investigator 27 00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:03,448 with your ship that sails on Thursday? 28 00:03:03,482 --> 00:03:07,519 No. But they did approve sending for private investigators. 29 00:03:07,553 --> 00:03:11,523 That is if I can talk you people into sailing on a jinxed ship. 30 00:03:17,362 --> 00:03:19,664 CHARLIE: There's a significant difference between this 31 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:22,133 and all the other high-risk cases you've been on. 32 00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:24,502 The other times, you could walk, run or crawl 33 00:03:24,536 --> 00:03:27,706 to the nearest exit, but not this time. 34 00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:29,473 Not even Angels can walk home 35 00:03:29,508 --> 00:03:31,475 from the middle of the Pacific Ocean. 36 00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:34,078 So, it's your decision. 37 00:03:34,112 --> 00:03:37,982 Well, Charlie, none of us has ever been on an ocean cruise. 38 00:03:38,016 --> 00:03:42,052 So, if we're going to take a vote, I say we take the case. 39 00:03:42,087 --> 00:03:43,320 How about you, Bree? 40 00:03:43,355 --> 00:03:46,156 Uh... 41 00:03:46,191 --> 00:03:48,192 Okay, I vote yes. 42 00:03:48,226 --> 00:03:49,260 Kelly? 43 00:03:49,294 --> 00:03:51,529 I vote yes. 44 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:54,999 If anybody is interested, I vote yes also. 45 00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:56,267 All right, Angels. 46 00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,236 Then I suggest you start packing. 47 00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:00,071 I'll get the insurance company reports. 48 00:04:00,105 --> 00:04:03,040 Bosley, you check the shipping company's logs, 49 00:04:03,075 --> 00:04:04,876 see what you can find by way of suspects. 50 00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:06,077 Right. 51 00:04:06,111 --> 00:04:09,247 Now after I've done that, Charlie what then? 52 00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:11,916 I don't think I'm following you, Bosley. 53 00:04:11,950 --> 00:04:15,052 I mean, when the ship sails do I wave goodbye 54 00:04:15,087 --> 00:04:16,821 from the dock or the deck? 55 00:04:16,855 --> 00:04:19,123 Well, now I hadn't thought about that. 56 00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:23,995 Charlie, I think somebody should stay here to watch the store. 57 00:04:24,029 --> 00:04:26,698 You know, first class accommodations 58 00:04:26,732 --> 00:04:30,368 and delicious food, that doesn't really interest you Bosley. 59 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:33,338 Jill's right, Charlie. 60 00:04:33,372 --> 00:04:36,608 I don't think it'd be fair to make Bosley go with us. 61 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,342 Why don't you vote on it? 62 00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,645 I think we already have. 63 00:04:40,679 --> 00:04:42,881 Well, not officially. How do you vote, Bosley? 64 00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:43,982 I am already outvoted. 65 00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:45,616 [KNOCKING] 66 00:04:45,651 --> 00:04:47,485 I vote yes. I vote yes. 67 00:04:47,519 --> 00:04:49,254 I vote yes. 68 00:04:49,288 --> 00:04:50,588 Yes, what? 69 00:04:50,622 --> 00:04:52,924 Yes, I stay here, or yes, I go along? 70 00:04:58,330 --> 00:05:00,865 Charlie, I think I'm going. 71 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,566 I'm not surprised, Bosley. 72 00:05:02,601 --> 00:05:04,535 Oh, my God! 73 00:05:04,503 --> 00:05:05,737 What's that, Bosley? 74 00:05:05,771 --> 00:05:08,640 We have a visitor. 75 00:05:08,674 --> 00:05:10,642 A visitor? Someone I know? 76 00:05:10,676 --> 00:05:14,579 I don't think so, he's deaf, dumb, and blind. 77 00:05:14,613 --> 00:05:17,248 Somebody pinned a mannequin to the door, Charlie. 78 00:05:17,282 --> 00:05:18,383 With a note. 79 00:05:18,417 --> 00:05:20,985 It says, do not sail on the Belle Helene. 80 00:05:21,019 --> 00:05:24,055 It's written in block letters with a felt tip pen. 81 00:05:24,089 --> 00:05:26,123 Well, that tells us one thing. 82 00:05:26,158 --> 00:05:27,925 KELLY: Yeah that the murderer knows who we are, 83 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,060 where to find us, 84 00:05:29,094 --> 00:05:30,395 and that we're working on this case. 85 00:05:30,429 --> 00:05:31,529 All right, 86 00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:33,431 let's find out who our suspects are: 87 00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:36,701 passengers, crew members, anybody who was on board 88 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:39,036 through all those deadly voyages. 89 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:41,839 BOSLEY: Now according to the insurance 90 00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:44,375 investigators' reports, Cooper, the chief engineer 91 00:05:44,409 --> 00:05:47,277 doesn't think there is a killer. Suspects nobody. 92 00:05:47,312 --> 00:05:49,380 CHARLIE: Jerian Mayer. 93 00:05:49,414 --> 00:05:50,848 She sings. 94 00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:52,850 JILL: She's terrified, but won't quit her job 95 00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:53,951 because she needs the money. 96 00:05:53,986 --> 00:05:55,319 She suspects Cooper is the villain 97 00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:57,588 because he knows the ship so well. 98 00:05:57,623 --> 00:06:02,093 CHARLIE: Next, I've got Tom Lavin, ship's purser. 99 00:06:02,127 --> 00:06:04,762 KELLY: He says he suspects Jerian, the girl singer, 100 00:06:04,796 --> 00:06:07,565 because she's the least likely suspect. 101 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,134 CHARLIE: And last is Harry Dana. 102 00:06:10,168 --> 00:06:13,304 Mind-reader, fortune teller and comedian. 103 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:16,073 SABRINA: He's told everybody and anybody who will listen to him 104 00:06:16,108 --> 00:06:18,543 that he knows who the killer is. He's seen him. 105 00:06:18,577 --> 00:06:20,811 Not with his eyes, in his mind. 106 00:06:20,846 --> 00:06:23,281 He claims to have clairvoyant powers. 107 00:06:23,315 --> 00:06:25,483 The killer, according to Harry, is six feet two, 108 00:06:25,517 --> 00:06:27,719 weighs 190 pounds, has blue eyes, 109 00:06:27,753 --> 00:06:29,721 brown hair and a rugged chin. 110 00:06:29,755 --> 00:06:31,188 JILL: Mm. Heaven! 111 00:06:33,191 --> 00:06:36,093 CHARLIE: Bon voyage, Angels. 112 00:06:36,128 --> 00:06:37,629 Hello. 113 00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:40,498 Welcome aboard the Belle Helene. I'm Tod Lavin, your purser. 114 00:06:40,532 --> 00:06:43,167 If you have any questions or problems, do bring them to me. 115 00:06:43,201 --> 00:06:45,903 You'll find that your luggage has been placed in your cabins. 116 00:06:45,937 --> 00:06:47,104 Check it to make sure that 117 00:06:47,139 --> 00:06:49,207 nothing has been misplaced or misrouted. 118 00:06:49,241 --> 00:06:50,508 How soon do we sail? 119 00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:52,176 Within the hour. 120 00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:57,315 Um, where is everybody? 121 00:06:57,349 --> 00:06:59,250 Well, the crew is making ready to get underway 122 00:06:59,284 --> 00:07:01,051 and the passengers are in their cabins, I expect. 123 00:07:01,086 --> 00:07:02,620 If you'll follow the stewards, 124 00:07:02,654 --> 00:07:04,021 they will show you to your accommodations. 125 00:07:04,055 --> 00:07:05,523 Thank you very much. 126 00:07:05,557 --> 00:07:08,326 Once we're underway, the Captain invites you to join him 127 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,429 for pre-dinner cocktails or champagne in the salon. 128 00:07:11,463 --> 00:07:13,331 Tell the Captain thank you very much, we accept. 129 00:07:13,365 --> 00:07:15,400 Thank you. Thank you. 130 00:07:34,719 --> 00:07:36,654 [PHONE BUZZING] 131 00:07:45,463 --> 00:07:46,998 Hello, Charlie. 132 00:07:47,032 --> 00:07:48,232 We're all aboard. 133 00:07:48,266 --> 00:07:50,735 Fine. Hold on while I call the Angels. 134 00:07:50,769 --> 00:07:51,836 [PHONE BUZZING] 135 00:07:54,773 --> 00:07:55,740 Hi, Charlie. 136 00:07:55,774 --> 00:07:57,374 [PHONE BUZZING] 137 00:08:00,812 --> 00:08:02,813 Hi, Charlie. It's Jill. 138 00:08:02,848 --> 00:08:04,115 Hi, Charlie. 139 00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:06,283 All right, team, we're all on the line now. 140 00:08:06,317 --> 00:08:09,053 How do you like your ocean cruise so far? 141 00:08:09,087 --> 00:08:11,589 Oh, fun. If you call getting a threatening note 142 00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:12,991 from the killer while you're still tied 143 00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:14,892 to the dock having fun. 144 00:08:14,926 --> 00:08:17,027 I got one too. It was in my suitcase. 145 00:08:17,062 --> 00:08:18,296 Yeah, me too. 146 00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:20,631 Mine was pinned to a lifejacket. 147 00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,266 What do they say? 148 00:08:22,301 --> 00:08:23,701 Mine says, 149 00:08:23,735 --> 00:08:28,038 "Leave the ship now or learn to be a long distance swimmer. 150 00:08:28,073 --> 00:08:30,708 The life you save will be your own." 151 00:08:30,742 --> 00:08:31,709 Listen to this: 152 00:08:31,743 --> 00:08:33,210 "Hi there, cutie. 153 00:08:33,244 --> 00:08:35,913 "Among your planned shipboard activities are screaming, 154 00:08:35,947 --> 00:08:38,482 "pain and two depressing funerals. 155 00:08:38,516 --> 00:08:39,717 Won't that be fun?" 156 00:08:39,751 --> 00:08:40,885 End of quote. 157 00:08:40,919 --> 00:08:42,053 Kelly? 158 00:08:42,087 --> 00:08:44,355 Oh, mine's brief and to the point. 159 00:08:44,389 --> 00:08:47,091 It reads, "Bon voyage. You're dead." 160 00:08:47,125 --> 00:08:48,326 Sabrina? 161 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,994 Says, uh, 162 00:08:50,028 --> 00:08:53,698 "I love you. I'll prove it. You won't like it. I don't care." 163 00:08:53,732 --> 00:08:55,666 I don't think there's much question 164 00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,101 but that you're dealing with someone 165 00:08:57,136 --> 00:08:58,936 who's mentally deranged. 166 00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:02,540 Well, deranged or not, nobody's going to ruin my first cruise. 167 00:09:02,574 --> 00:09:04,709 Mine either. 168 00:09:04,743 --> 00:09:07,211 Just be careful, Angels. 169 00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:10,881 There's no way to tell which way this killer will move. 170 00:09:24,229 --> 00:09:27,231 [�] 171 00:09:46,151 --> 00:09:50,521 I don't care what anybody says about a jinxed company. 172 00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:54,692 Me and Mrs. Gow sailed on the old Belle Helene 50 years ago, 173 00:09:54,726 --> 00:09:55,893 more, huh? 174 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,862 It was on our honeymoon. 175 00:09:57,896 --> 00:10:00,164 Of course we didn't have champagne with the Captain 176 00:10:00,198 --> 00:10:02,266 before supper that trip. 177 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,335 Appreciate it, Captain, thank you. 178 00:10:04,369 --> 00:10:06,870 Anyhow we was coming on this anniversary cruise, 179 00:10:06,905 --> 00:10:08,639 come hell or high water. 180 00:10:08,673 --> 00:10:11,442 I do kind of feel strange, being on a big boat 181 00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:14,011 like this with no more than us few on it. 182 00:10:14,045 --> 00:10:16,313 Well, Mr. Gow., Mrs. Gow., and to all of you, 183 00:10:16,348 --> 00:10:18,249 I promise the only difference between this cruise 184 00:10:18,283 --> 00:10:21,152 and any other, will be the lack of fellow passengers. 185 00:10:21,186 --> 00:10:22,553 The service will be better. 186 00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:25,189 And the food, drinks and entertainment as good 187 00:10:25,223 --> 00:10:28,058 or better than you've ever known on shipboard before. 188 00:10:28,093 --> 00:10:29,527 Here, here. 189 00:10:29,561 --> 00:10:31,963 Would you propose our first toast, Captain? 190 00:10:31,997 --> 00:10:32,997 Yes. 191 00:10:33,031 --> 00:10:36,133 To our esteemed and heroic passengers. 192 00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:45,443 May I propose a toast, Captain? 193 00:10:45,477 --> 00:10:47,345 Of course, Mr. Armetage. 194 00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:52,450 To three beautiful women who, like angels, 195 00:10:52,484 --> 00:10:54,051 by their presence, turned what might have been 196 00:10:54,085 --> 00:10:59,423 a desolate cruise into an adventure in paradise. 197 00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:03,127 Thank you. 198 00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:06,096 My guess is he's the murderer. 199 00:11:06,131 --> 00:11:08,566 How else would he know that Charlie called us Angels? 200 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,368 Well, it could have just been a coincidence. 201 00:11:10,402 --> 00:11:12,503 He was trying to come on to all three of us. 202 00:11:12,537 --> 00:11:13,704 He needed a collective noun. 203 00:11:13,738 --> 00:11:14,938 No way. 204 00:11:14,973 --> 00:11:17,141 Or is "angels" a pronoun? 205 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:22,547 Any time I'm stuck I call everything an adverbial phrase. 206 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,248 Yup, it's an adverbial phrase. 207 00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:29,787 But first, "angels" is a noun, and, second, 208 00:11:29,888 --> 00:11:31,689 unless all the circumstances were caused 209 00:11:31,723 --> 00:11:33,457 by different hired killers, 210 00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:35,459 there is no way that Armetage can be a suspect. 211 00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:36,894 I don't know. 212 00:11:36,928 --> 00:11:39,363 He fits the Adonis description Harry Dana, the clairvoyant, 213 00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:40,798 gave of the murderer. 214 00:11:40,832 --> 00:11:42,200 You know, there could be several killers 215 00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:45,336 rather than just one, Bosley. 216 00:11:45,370 --> 00:11:47,505 That would make everybody who worked or sailed 217 00:11:47,539 --> 00:11:49,006 on any of the cruises a suspect 218 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,442 rather than just the four who sailed on all of them. 219 00:11:51,476 --> 00:11:54,411 Which means we have to watch everybody. 220 00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:01,219 Oh, I love working to a full house. 221 00:12:01,253 --> 00:12:02,319 Hey. 222 00:12:02,354 --> 00:12:03,654 Boy, you people are terrific. 223 00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,289 Well, as some of you people may know 224 00:12:05,323 --> 00:12:09,460 I have powers that enable me to read minds. 225 00:12:09,494 --> 00:12:11,062 To see into the future, to see things 226 00:12:11,096 --> 00:12:14,265 that have happened in the past that I didn't even know about. 227 00:12:14,299 --> 00:12:16,667 My name is Count Dracula. 228 00:12:16,701 --> 00:12:19,836 Wait a minute, I'm getting a name. 229 00:12:19,871 --> 00:12:23,174 Uh, uh, Sally Hooper. 230 00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,676 That mean anything to anybody here? Sally Hooper? 231 00:12:25,710 --> 00:12:30,013 Hey that's our youngest daughter. 232 00:12:30,048 --> 00:12:32,916 Her husband is in the automobile business? 233 00:12:32,951 --> 00:12:33,917 Right. 234 00:12:33,952 --> 00:12:35,285 Well, mostly trucks. 235 00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:37,688 Did you people know she's expecting a baby? 236 00:12:37,722 --> 00:12:39,056 No. That's right. 237 00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:42,125 She's about three months along now, it's going to be a boy. 238 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,527 Be the first boy in the family 239 00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:46,229 since my brother if you're right. 240 00:12:46,264 --> 00:12:48,566 Oh, I am. 241 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:52,235 And he's going to have brown eyes, just like his poppy. 242 00:12:52,270 --> 00:12:55,272 Isn't that a mind blower? 243 00:12:55,306 --> 00:12:58,809 Oh, it sure is. Nice of you to feel that way there, pilgrim. 244 00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:01,445 And what about the rest of you pilgrims? 245 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,615 What else is going on out there? 246 00:13:07,518 --> 00:13:09,620 Hey, wait a minute. 247 00:13:09,654 --> 00:13:13,424 Somebody is thinking about me. 248 00:13:13,458 --> 00:13:15,759 They're wondering if a description 249 00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:21,565 I gave of a certain person is a Mr. Armetage. 250 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,602 Well, whoever you are, I can't say yes can't say no. 251 00:13:24,636 --> 00:13:25,802 It might be. 252 00:13:25,837 --> 00:13:30,407 And, whoever you are, say hello to Charlie. 253 00:13:33,278 --> 00:13:35,913 And now ladies and gentlemen, it's my great pleasure to-- 254 00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:38,216 No, Jill, it's not there, Jill. 255 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:40,017 You're looking for your lipstick. 256 00:13:40,051 --> 00:13:41,151 It's not in your purse. 257 00:13:41,186 --> 00:13:42,987 It's in somebody's pocket. 258 00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:44,955 It's in Bosley's pocket. 259 00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,656 Would you check that, please? 260 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,260 Hey! 261 00:13:50,295 --> 00:13:53,030 Thank you. I'd forgotten I'd given it to him. 262 00:13:53,064 --> 00:13:55,032 Terrific! 263 00:13:56,668 --> 00:13:58,268 Thank you. 264 00:13:58,303 --> 00:14:01,238 It's our policy to entertain everybody 265 00:14:01,272 --> 00:14:02,840 and now that you all have been amazed, 266 00:14:02,874 --> 00:14:04,374 it's time for you to be enchanted. 267 00:14:04,409 --> 00:14:06,844 And here to enchant you and charm you 268 00:14:06,878 --> 00:14:12,115 is the lovely, vivacious, Miss Jerian Mayer. 269 00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:13,083 Jeri.... 270 00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:21,392 [�] 271 00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:31,102 � You are the sunshine Of my life � 272 00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:37,241 � That's while I'll Always be around � 273 00:14:37,275 --> 00:14:44,114 � You are the Apple of my eye � 274 00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:50,387 � Forever you'll stay In my heart � 275 00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:56,326 � I feel like this is The beginning � 276 00:14:56,361 --> 00:15:01,631 � Though I've loved you For a million years � 277 00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:18,749 We've got the fire under control, Captain. 278 00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:20,117 It's a dummy. 279 00:15:20,151 --> 00:15:22,252 Thank God. 280 00:15:22,287 --> 00:15:23,987 Whose cabin is this, Tod? 281 00:15:24,022 --> 00:15:26,023 Sabrina Duncan's, sir. 282 00:15:26,057 --> 00:15:28,592 Smells like a chemical fire. 283 00:15:33,364 --> 00:15:35,132 I didn't mind losing anything except that new bikini. 284 00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:36,801 It's the first one I ever had 285 00:15:36,835 --> 00:15:38,836 that didn't feel like it was going to fall off 286 00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:40,003 at the wrong time. 287 00:15:40,038 --> 00:15:42,005 Oh Bree, did you lock your door when you left? 288 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,206 I'm sure I did. 289 00:15:43,241 --> 00:15:45,008 The killer must have keys to all our rooms. 290 00:15:45,043 --> 00:15:46,777 Yeah, probably a master key. 291 00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:48,579 Was your revolver in your cabin? 292 00:15:48,613 --> 00:15:50,447 No, I had it with me. 293 00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,048 We should keep our guns with us now 294 00:15:52,083 --> 00:15:54,318 that the killer's started to play his game. 295 00:15:54,352 --> 00:15:55,753 Listen, I've been thinking. 296 00:15:55,787 --> 00:15:57,921 If the killer is going to start setting fires, 297 00:15:57,955 --> 00:15:59,122 we're really playing into his hand 298 00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:00,791 by having our rooms in a cluster. 299 00:16:00,825 --> 00:16:02,626 I mean, we're all in one place. 300 00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:04,828 he could take one easy move, check on all of us, 301 00:16:04,862 --> 00:16:08,165 then go up to another deck or even another passage, 302 00:16:08,199 --> 00:16:10,567 and start a fire, be long gone before we ever find out 303 00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:12,035 about it and get there. 304 00:16:12,069 --> 00:16:14,738 Yeah. 305 00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:16,740 We have our own set of master keys. 306 00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:18,375 We could spread out all over the ship. 307 00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:20,177 Well, that way he wouldn't know where we were. 308 00:16:20,211 --> 00:16:21,445 It might slow him down. 309 00:16:21,479 --> 00:16:23,847 I don't know if it's a good thing to slow him down. 310 00:16:23,881 --> 00:16:26,216 I mean you can't see a snake when it's not moving. 311 00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:28,819 But we ought to cover as much of the ship as we can. 312 00:16:28,853 --> 00:16:30,354 I'll stay on the top deck. 313 00:16:30,388 --> 00:16:31,789 I'll take third class. 314 00:16:31,823 --> 00:16:32,889 I'll take second. 315 00:16:32,924 --> 00:16:35,292 I guess I'm stuck with first class. 316 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,995 Poor baby. 317 00:16:38,029 --> 00:16:41,165 Listen, drop me a line when you can, will you please? 318 00:16:41,199 --> 00:16:42,800 I live for your letters. 319 00:16:44,769 --> 00:16:47,071 Man overboard! 320 00:16:47,105 --> 00:16:49,439 Man overboard! 321 00:16:49,473 --> 00:16:51,175 Man overboard! 322 00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:32,382 Engines. All stop. 323 00:17:32,417 --> 00:17:35,385 All engines stop. 324 00:17:42,026 --> 00:17:44,961 Man in the Crow's Nest! 325 00:17:52,403 --> 00:17:54,037 Is it Bosley? 326 00:17:55,573 --> 00:17:56,707 Look out! 327 00:18:01,212 --> 00:18:02,780 It's a dummy. 328 00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:46,824 What's going on? 329 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,468 He doesn't have any clothes on! 330 00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:00,804 Bosley. 331 00:19:03,708 --> 00:19:05,376 Don't laugh at him. 332 00:19:09,113 --> 00:19:11,648 Now look, I have been thumped on the head. 333 00:19:11,683 --> 00:19:14,451 I have been stripped to the buff. 334 00:19:14,485 --> 00:19:17,153 I have been embarrassed beyond words. 335 00:19:17,188 --> 00:19:19,523 Do I have to sit here and wait for you three 336 00:19:19,557 --> 00:19:23,059 to decide that the time is right to make your jokes and laugh? 337 00:19:23,093 --> 00:19:25,662 We're not going to laugh at you, Bosley. 338 00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:27,731 And we're not going to make jokes either. 339 00:19:27,766 --> 00:19:31,134 Jerian did want to know if you were married though. 340 00:19:31,168 --> 00:19:32,469 Oh, come on. 341 00:19:34,238 --> 00:19:35,772 I'm sorry, Bosley. I couldn't resist. 342 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,040 Well, let's get down to business. 343 00:19:37,074 --> 00:19:38,408 Okay. 344 00:19:38,442 --> 00:19:41,979 You're right, Bos. Okay, okay, let's talk about Jerian. 345 00:19:42,013 --> 00:19:44,347 Now she could have taken something 346 00:19:44,382 --> 00:19:45,549 and hit you over the head. 347 00:19:45,583 --> 00:19:46,884 But the question is, 348 00:19:46,918 --> 00:19:50,253 is she strong enough to have dragged you up onto the deck 349 00:19:50,287 --> 00:19:56,994 and could she have done what was done to you. 350 00:19:57,028 --> 00:19:58,796 Oh, look! 351 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:01,665 Wait a minute, I was not criminally assaulted you know. 352 00:20:01,699 --> 00:20:03,333 Somebody just stole my pajamas. 353 00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:04,468 Nothing else. 354 00:20:04,502 --> 00:20:06,703 We are forgetting something very important. 355 00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:07,938 What? 356 00:20:07,972 --> 00:20:09,773 The man overboard warning that was sounded 357 00:20:09,807 --> 00:20:12,409 just before Bosley got hit on the head. 358 00:20:12,443 --> 00:20:14,945 Now suppose this whole thing was just a set-up 359 00:20:14,979 --> 00:20:16,579 to take our attention away. 360 00:20:16,614 --> 00:20:19,783 Yeah. Think about it. 361 00:20:19,817 --> 00:20:21,985 Who checked to see if anybody else was missing? 362 00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:23,287 No one. 363 00:20:23,321 --> 00:20:26,589 It's an elaborate scheme, but it could be. 364 00:20:26,624 --> 00:20:27,991 Look I'm going to have the Captain 365 00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:30,728 check the passengers and crew. 366 00:20:34,532 --> 00:20:36,033 The line's dead. 367 00:20:36,067 --> 00:20:38,902 Well maybe that's because of the fire in Bree's cabin. 368 00:20:38,936 --> 00:20:41,739 Yeah, or another stunt perpetrated by the murderer. 369 00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:42,939 Well, whatever it is, the Captain's 370 00:20:42,974 --> 00:20:45,942 going to have to make sure nobody's missing. 371 00:20:45,977 --> 00:20:47,411 I'll go see him now. 372 00:20:47,445 --> 00:20:49,313 Okay, I'm going to check out the dead telephone. 373 00:20:49,347 --> 00:20:52,883 That is unless you need me to hold your hand, Bosley. 374 00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:54,818 I don't need that. 375 00:20:54,852 --> 00:20:57,621 Take care of the baby. Don't egg him on. Go on. 376 00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:59,189 Go on. Oh boy. 377 00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:35,925 "Here stands Fred Couper, former chief engineer. 378 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,561 "He is a gift. 379 00:21:37,595 --> 00:21:40,030 "Now you have one less suspect. 380 00:21:40,064 --> 00:21:41,565 You're welcome." 381 00:23:34,078 --> 00:23:35,712 Due to the present circumstances, 382 00:23:35,746 --> 00:23:38,715 I have no other choice but to turn the responsibility 383 00:23:38,749 --> 00:23:40,784 for your safety over to Mr. Bosley, 384 00:23:40,818 --> 00:23:44,588 who, for your information, is a private investigator 385 00:23:44,622 --> 00:23:47,057 hired by the owner of the ship. Mr. Bosley. 386 00:23:47,091 --> 00:23:49,125 Thank you, Captain. 387 00:23:49,159 --> 00:23:53,329 As you all know by now, two lives have been taken 388 00:23:53,363 --> 00:23:54,698 during this voyage. 389 00:23:54,732 --> 00:23:59,536 The chief engineer and one of my associates, Kelly Garrett. 390 00:23:59,570 --> 00:24:02,773 Up to this time, there was no clue 391 00:24:02,807 --> 00:24:04,875 to the killer's identity. 392 00:24:04,909 --> 00:24:07,343 But now we have the means 393 00:24:07,378 --> 00:24:10,814 of positively identifying the murderer. 394 00:24:10,848 --> 00:24:13,784 When the steam valve was turned on, 395 00:24:13,818 --> 00:24:16,853 two clear fingerprints were left on the metal. 396 00:24:16,888 --> 00:24:19,656 No, we don't have the equipment to remove those prints, 397 00:24:19,690 --> 00:24:21,658 but we can easily compare them to the samples 398 00:24:21,692 --> 00:24:24,560 and that way, identify the killer. 399 00:24:24,595 --> 00:24:27,864 Now with Captain's permission, we have called you all here 400 00:24:27,898 --> 00:24:32,336 together to ask for samples of your fingerprints. 401 00:24:32,370 --> 00:24:35,072 Now, we cannot compel you to give them to us, 402 00:24:35,106 --> 00:24:38,608 but because the danger is so clear, 403 00:24:38,642 --> 00:24:42,812 we will be forced to lock anyone who refuses in their cabin, 404 00:24:42,847 --> 00:24:45,815 until we reach port which at that time, 405 00:24:45,850 --> 00:24:49,186 the police will take those fingerprints 406 00:24:49,220 --> 00:24:51,721 and make the comparisons. 407 00:24:51,755 --> 00:24:54,490 When you have given us your fingerprints, 408 00:24:54,525 --> 00:24:55,958 please go to your cabins and remain there 409 00:24:55,993 --> 00:24:57,694 until you are notified. 410 00:24:57,728 --> 00:25:00,096 Do not, for any reason, go into the passage 411 00:25:00,130 --> 00:25:01,898 where the steam valve is located. 412 00:25:01,932 --> 00:25:05,101 All right, we'll try to do this as quickly as we can. 413 00:25:25,256 --> 00:25:27,991 Well, that's the last of them. 414 00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:29,792 Now we see what happens. 415 00:25:29,827 --> 00:25:33,930 [WHISTLING] 416 00:25:33,965 --> 00:25:35,631 Jill, someone's coming. 417 00:25:35,666 --> 00:25:36,867 It worked. 418 00:26:30,888 --> 00:26:31,855 Hold it! 419 00:26:34,058 --> 00:26:35,892 Hold it! 420 00:26:35,927 --> 00:26:39,095 Okay, okay, okay, okay. 421 00:26:43,334 --> 00:26:45,668 Kelly! Kelly, are you all right? 422 00:26:45,702 --> 00:26:48,805 Come on, come on. Let's go. 423 00:26:55,746 --> 00:26:58,448 Okay, Jill come with me. 424 00:27:04,621 --> 00:27:07,757 Water, water, water, water everywhere 425 00:27:07,791 --> 00:27:10,660 but not a drop to drink. 426 00:27:10,694 --> 00:27:16,967 Watch your step ladies this boat is about to sink. 427 00:27:17,001 --> 00:27:19,635 That's not a bad Rex Harrison, huh. 428 00:27:22,406 --> 00:27:24,107 Well, you got me, 429 00:27:24,141 --> 00:27:27,877 but that's not going to keep this boat from blowing up. 430 00:27:33,150 --> 00:27:34,584 Hey, Kirk, do you know why 431 00:27:34,619 --> 00:27:36,919 they're asking me all these questions, Kirk? 432 00:27:36,954 --> 00:27:40,157 No, Burt, what are they asking you all the questions for? 433 00:27:40,191 --> 00:27:42,559 Because, Kirk, they want me to tell them 434 00:27:42,593 --> 00:27:44,994 about the bombs I got planted on this boat. 435 00:27:46,764 --> 00:27:50,133 Ah, but I swear to you I'm not going to tell them 436 00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:51,635 about the bombs, Kirk. 437 00:27:51,669 --> 00:27:55,905 Harry, you know if the ship blows, 438 00:27:55,939 --> 00:27:57,140 you'll go with it. 439 00:27:57,174 --> 00:27:59,209 Ah! Did you hear that, Kirk? 440 00:27:59,243 --> 00:28:01,911 If this ship blows up, we go with it. 441 00:28:01,946 --> 00:28:04,413 Then we better check out of our rooms tonight. 442 00:28:04,448 --> 00:28:05,882 Oh, no, not me. Why not? 443 00:28:05,916 --> 00:28:08,184 My rent's paid until tomorrow. 444 00:28:10,754 --> 00:28:14,424 I've been dead, lady for two years already. 445 00:28:14,458 --> 00:28:15,659 You don't look dead, Harry. 446 00:28:15,693 --> 00:28:17,427 You don't sound dead, either. 447 00:28:17,461 --> 00:28:20,864 If I don't look dead, and I don't sound dead 448 00:28:20,898 --> 00:28:22,665 I must be the living dead. 449 00:28:22,700 --> 00:28:26,669 Won't you come with me, I promise to make you well again. 450 00:28:26,704 --> 00:28:28,538 Igor. 451 00:28:30,408 --> 00:28:31,808 Doesn't it bother you? 452 00:28:31,842 --> 00:28:33,543 Killing all these innocent people? 453 00:28:33,577 --> 00:28:35,712 Innocent, innocent, what are you talking about innocent. 454 00:28:35,746 --> 00:28:36,913 There's no such thing as innocence. 455 00:28:36,947 --> 00:28:39,215 No innocent people today. Not anymore. 456 00:28:39,249 --> 00:28:40,784 You understand what I'm telling you? Ten-four. 457 00:28:43,687 --> 00:28:46,489 And you won't tell us why you're doing it? 458 00:28:46,524 --> 00:28:47,524 Why? 459 00:28:47,558 --> 00:28:49,258 Why? How can you ask why? 460 00:28:49,293 --> 00:28:51,494 You're a soldier, this is war, I'm your general. 461 00:28:51,529 --> 00:28:53,663 There's no time for why. 462 00:28:53,697 --> 00:28:56,232 What's done is done, and once we've all perished 463 00:28:56,266 --> 00:28:58,067 in that moment of flame, 464 00:28:58,101 --> 00:29:02,138 we have not time to ask ourselves why. 465 00:29:02,172 --> 00:29:04,740 It's gone, finished, 466 00:29:04,775 --> 00:29:11,447 ended like the morning mist in the searing and angry sun. 467 00:29:11,482 --> 00:29:12,448 [PHONE RINGING] 468 00:29:12,483 --> 00:29:14,417 Yes. 469 00:29:14,451 --> 00:29:17,453 That must be my wake-up call. 470 00:29:17,488 --> 00:29:20,456 I'll be right there. 471 00:29:20,491 --> 00:29:21,758 That's funny. 472 00:29:21,792 --> 00:29:24,260 Shouldn't you tell us when this explosion is going to be? 473 00:29:24,294 --> 00:29:27,597 I mean, that way we can sweat, and worry about it 474 00:29:27,632 --> 00:29:29,799 and suffer a little more for you. 475 00:29:36,874 --> 00:29:38,741 I'm not a sadist. 476 00:29:38,776 --> 00:29:44,080 Now granted, I had you people sweating a little, 477 00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:46,082 but that's, that's to keep you running around in circles 478 00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:49,920 long enough for me to-- 479 00:29:49,954 --> 00:29:55,892 Almost got me to say something, didn't you? 480 00:29:55,926 --> 00:30:00,629 Well, I'll tell you what, you're the detectives 481 00:30:00,664 --> 00:30:05,268 and you really should have some kind of clue to work with. 482 00:30:05,302 --> 00:30:08,004 Well, we'd appreciate any little thing, Harry. 483 00:30:11,041 --> 00:30:13,576 Bop, bop, bop, bop, well now. 484 00:30:13,610 --> 00:30:16,745 Pray tell what's a big beautiful blue-eyed blonde like you 485 00:30:16,780 --> 00:30:19,649 doing on a big beautiful boat like this. 486 00:30:19,683 --> 00:30:21,651 Got to look out now. 487 00:30:21,685 --> 00:30:25,322 Big beautiful boat's got three big beautiful bombs on it. 488 00:30:25,356 --> 00:30:27,557 Going to go boom, boom, boom. 489 00:30:27,591 --> 00:30:29,792 Boom, boom, boom. 490 00:30:52,716 --> 00:30:55,384 Okay, if these bombs are so intricate 491 00:30:55,419 --> 00:30:57,821 that just by somebody touching them it's going to set them off, 492 00:30:57,855 --> 00:31:00,090 why don't you tell us where they are? 493 00:31:00,124 --> 00:31:02,325 Because. 494 00:31:02,359 --> 00:31:04,694 Because. 495 00:31:04,729 --> 00:31:08,798 Because Ma's dead. 496 00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:10,299 Ma's dead. 497 00:31:10,334 --> 00:31:12,535 And besides somebody has to answer the door. 498 00:31:12,569 --> 00:31:16,873 [KNOCKING] 499 00:31:16,907 --> 00:31:18,742 You don't believe-- 500 00:31:18,776 --> 00:31:22,378 You don't believe me that I know things do you? 501 00:31:22,412 --> 00:31:24,180 You found one of my bombs! Right, Captain? 502 00:31:24,215 --> 00:31:25,581 Yes, I did, Harry. 503 00:31:25,616 --> 00:31:27,851 Yeah you found the one that's in the forward hull, 504 00:31:27,885 --> 00:31:29,219 is that right? That's right. 505 00:31:29,253 --> 00:31:30,820 Yeah, well, all right let's really hear it 506 00:31:30,855 --> 00:31:33,322 for the terrific mind reader here. 507 00:31:33,357 --> 00:31:35,691 It's a great display of talent. 508 00:31:35,726 --> 00:31:38,728 All right, come on. 509 00:31:38,763 --> 00:31:41,898 Okay, Harry how did you know that he found the bomb, 510 00:31:41,932 --> 00:31:43,767 how did you know where it was? 511 00:31:43,801 --> 00:31:45,701 Because I have the power to read minds! 512 00:31:45,736 --> 00:31:48,504 I can see things that happen in the future! 513 00:31:55,079 --> 00:32:00,049 And so saying, he sat back and they were all amazed. 514 00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:04,053 He sat back and watched the dumb looks on all their faces 515 00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:07,556 and he was amused. 516 00:32:07,591 --> 00:32:13,629 Are you really insane or do you just want us to think you are? 517 00:32:13,663 --> 00:32:18,768 Let me put it this way, Nurse Ratched. 518 00:32:18,802 --> 00:32:20,570 If you ask me, you're the one 519 00:32:20,604 --> 00:32:23,072 that's a little bit crazy around here. 520 00:32:23,106 --> 00:32:26,743 That's right. You're the one that's lost touch with reality. 521 00:32:26,777 --> 00:32:29,412 The one that can't function on a societal level. 522 00:32:29,447 --> 00:32:33,316 In fact I had a discussion about that very thing last night 523 00:32:33,351 --> 00:32:35,718 with my bunk mate Napoleon. 524 00:32:35,752 --> 00:32:40,390 That's right, what you see here isn't insanity. 525 00:32:40,424 --> 00:32:44,894 It's just an occasional outburst of anger, that's all. 526 00:32:44,928 --> 00:32:49,365 What makes you so angry? 527 00:32:49,399 --> 00:32:51,801 What makes me angry? 528 00:32:56,073 --> 00:32:59,342 It's 4:30. What time have you got? 529 00:32:59,376 --> 00:33:01,244 It's 4:30. 530 00:33:01,278 --> 00:33:02,812 Terrific. 531 00:33:02,847 --> 00:33:06,115 All right, I'm ready. 532 00:33:06,150 --> 00:33:10,787 Suppose you tell me why and I'll tell you anything now 533 00:33:10,821 --> 00:33:14,991 that I wouldn't tell you a few minutes ago. 534 00:33:16,460 --> 00:33:18,061 At exactly 4:28 535 00:33:18,095 --> 00:33:20,129 we passed the point of no return. 536 00:33:20,164 --> 00:33:21,331 The halfway point. 537 00:33:21,365 --> 00:33:22,899 Miles from nowhere. 538 00:33:22,933 --> 00:33:27,036 If the Coast Guard was to send jet planes out to us 539 00:33:27,071 --> 00:33:28,604 they'd never get here in time. 540 00:33:30,740 --> 00:33:33,175 Where are the other bombs, Harry? 541 00:33:33,210 --> 00:33:34,443 How many are there? 542 00:33:37,114 --> 00:33:40,016 First, I'm going to tell you about 543 00:33:40,050 --> 00:33:42,385 something you don't really care to know about. 544 00:33:42,419 --> 00:33:45,688 But I care, so I'm going to tell it anyway. 545 00:33:45,722 --> 00:33:49,092 Tell us, Harry. 546 00:33:51,462 --> 00:33:53,930 Once upon a time, 547 00:33:56,700 --> 00:33:58,501 I was in an automobile accident 548 00:33:58,536 --> 00:34:02,472 and that was the... 549 00:34:02,506 --> 00:34:07,710 greatest thing that ever happened to me. 550 00:34:07,744 --> 00:34:11,147 Me, Harry Dana, comic, because, 551 00:34:11,182 --> 00:34:16,252 because when I woke up in the hospital, 552 00:34:16,287 --> 00:34:17,820 now whether you believe this or not, 553 00:34:17,854 --> 00:34:22,758 I suddenly had the power to read minds. 554 00:34:22,793 --> 00:34:24,561 I could see into the future. 555 00:34:24,595 --> 00:34:26,696 I could see things that happened in the past 556 00:34:26,730 --> 00:34:29,199 that I didn't even know about. 557 00:34:31,735 --> 00:34:34,471 Well, I went to a certain Mr. John Strauss, 558 00:34:34,505 --> 00:34:41,644 my employer, the owner of this shipping line. 559 00:34:41,678 --> 00:34:45,648 I told him about it and he laughed and uh, 560 00:34:45,682 --> 00:34:48,818 and I told him I wasn't joking. 561 00:34:48,852 --> 00:34:53,856 I asked him to set up a foundation so I could 562 00:34:53,890 --> 00:35:00,196 get monies to develop this...talent. 563 00:35:00,231 --> 00:35:05,100 And he said that he didn't have the money. 564 00:35:05,135 --> 00:35:08,404 He said that he was willing 565 00:35:08,439 --> 00:35:14,410 to let me out of my contract anytime I wanted. 566 00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:17,313 A hypocrite. 567 00:35:18,549 --> 00:35:21,784 I didn't realize what he'd done to me. 568 00:35:23,454 --> 00:35:29,192 Well, it didn't seem that important but, as time went on, 569 00:35:29,226 --> 00:35:33,763 I saw some people at banks and foundations 570 00:35:33,797 --> 00:35:35,565 and they all refused 571 00:35:35,599 --> 00:35:37,667 to help me out. 572 00:35:37,701 --> 00:35:41,671 They refused to help me with this work. 573 00:35:41,705 --> 00:35:44,073 And then it started to dawn on me. 574 00:35:44,107 --> 00:35:46,176 One after another, "No, no, no." 575 00:35:46,210 --> 00:35:48,110 It had to be because of Strauss. 576 00:35:48,145 --> 00:35:50,580 He didn't-- They were friends of his and he-- 577 00:35:50,614 --> 00:35:52,915 He didn't want them to help me. 578 00:35:52,949 --> 00:35:54,150 He wanted to keep me. 579 00:35:54,185 --> 00:35:58,188 Sure, pop comedian Harry Dana on his boat. 580 00:35:58,222 --> 00:36:00,256 He wasn't about to let me alone. 581 00:36:00,291 --> 00:36:05,861 He killed me then and he left part of me alive to know it. 582 00:36:14,905 --> 00:36:18,407 Now I'm doing the-- 583 00:36:18,441 --> 00:36:20,409 The same thing to him. 584 00:36:22,112 --> 00:36:23,545 Where are the bombs, Harry? 585 00:36:23,580 --> 00:36:26,615 Well, my little chickadee. 586 00:36:26,650 --> 00:36:29,218 The first bomb is in the forward hold. 587 00:36:29,253 --> 00:36:33,456 Where the good Captain found it. Yes. 588 00:36:33,490 --> 00:36:35,291 Where are the other bombs? 589 00:36:35,325 --> 00:36:38,227 Oh, the second bomb, Jill, you'll find amidships. 590 00:36:38,261 --> 00:36:40,930 In the small fan room. That's right. 591 00:36:40,964 --> 00:36:42,331 And the third bomb-- 592 00:36:42,366 --> 00:36:44,934 Don't tell them, Harry, where the third bomb is. 593 00:36:44,968 --> 00:36:46,302 What's the difference. 594 00:36:46,336 --> 00:36:51,407 It's too late for them to do anything about it anyway. 595 00:36:51,442 --> 00:36:56,045 The third bomb is in the antipasto. 596 00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,382 It's not really in the antipasto, 597 00:36:59,416 --> 00:37:02,318 but I do so enjoy saying 598 00:37:02,352 --> 00:37:07,123 antipasto. 599 00:37:09,093 --> 00:37:10,493 The third and final bomb, 600 00:37:10,527 --> 00:37:16,599 my children, is hidden inside the big, black bird. 601 00:37:16,633 --> 00:37:23,605 The Maltese Falcon, my prized possession. 602 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,809 And as you've probably suspected, 603 00:37:26,844 --> 00:37:29,912 the bird is hidden in the back boiler room 604 00:37:29,946 --> 00:37:31,247 against the boiler. 605 00:37:31,281 --> 00:37:34,317 Run my children, run. 606 00:37:36,820 --> 00:37:40,489 Man the lifeboats. 607 00:37:40,523 --> 00:37:46,162 This boat is going to blow to smithereens! 608 00:37:46,196 --> 00:37:50,199 Forever, me and my bird! 609 00:38:06,950 --> 00:38:09,852 Set a guard outside Mr. Bosley's cabin, 610 00:38:09,886 --> 00:38:11,521 then assemble all the passengers and crew 611 00:38:11,555 --> 00:38:13,856 on deck and have them stand by the lifeboats, Mr. Lavin. 612 00:38:13,890 --> 00:38:16,058 The bombs are due to explode in the next half hour. 613 00:38:16,092 --> 00:38:18,461 Captain, there are no lifeboats. 614 00:38:18,495 --> 00:38:19,495 The bungs have been pulled 615 00:38:19,530 --> 00:38:21,430 and the rubber rafts have been slashed. 616 00:38:21,465 --> 00:38:24,267 You keep that to yourself, but make sure that everyone 617 00:38:24,301 --> 00:38:25,668 has a life jacket in the event 618 00:38:25,702 --> 00:38:27,270 that we have to go over the side. 619 00:38:27,304 --> 00:38:28,304 Yes, sir. 620 00:39:52,455 --> 00:39:54,757 Well, we've located the three bombs 621 00:39:54,791 --> 00:39:56,759 and the Angels are babysitting. 622 00:39:56,793 --> 00:39:58,361 CHARLIE: Good. I've got a relay set up 623 00:39:58,328 --> 00:40:00,229 with Marsh and the bomb squad. 624 00:40:00,264 --> 00:40:03,266 We can talk to you. You relay to the Angels. 625 00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:04,867 Are you sure there's no one on board 626 00:40:04,902 --> 00:40:06,969 with bomb disposal experience, Bosley? 627 00:40:07,004 --> 00:40:08,804 The Captain says no. 628 00:40:08,838 --> 00:40:11,673 the basic work the Angels did at the Police Academy 629 00:40:11,708 --> 00:40:13,276 makes them the closest thing 630 00:40:13,310 --> 00:40:15,611 to bomb experts we have on board. 631 00:40:15,645 --> 00:40:16,913 I hate to butt in, 632 00:40:16,947 --> 00:40:18,848 but we're wasting one hell of a lot of time, 633 00:40:18,882 --> 00:40:22,284 particularly since we don't know how much we've got. 634 00:40:22,318 --> 00:40:24,419 Has the ship stopped? 635 00:40:24,454 --> 00:40:26,088 BOSLEY: Already done. 636 00:40:26,123 --> 00:40:30,025 Okay. Ask them to describe the bomb, Bosley. 637 00:40:30,060 --> 00:40:31,928 BOSLEY: Hello, Angels. 638 00:40:31,962 --> 00:40:34,363 Marsh needs a description of the bomb. 639 00:40:34,398 --> 00:40:38,034 The timing mechanism is blind. 640 00:40:38,068 --> 00:40:39,402 It's in a small metal box 641 00:40:39,436 --> 00:40:41,637 with four screws holding the lid down. 642 00:40:41,671 --> 00:40:44,272 There's a yellow light and a red light. 643 00:40:44,307 --> 00:40:45,641 The yellow light's on. 644 00:40:45,675 --> 00:40:47,943 There are seven protruding wires, 645 00:40:47,978 --> 00:40:51,279 color-keyed, red, green, yellow, 646 00:40:51,314 --> 00:40:53,381 green and white striped, black, 647 00:40:53,416 --> 00:40:58,788 blue and white striped and white. 648 00:40:58,822 --> 00:41:02,458 The timing mechanism sits on top of a bundle of dynamite. 649 00:41:02,492 --> 00:41:04,694 It's fastened down with electrician's tape 650 00:41:04,728 --> 00:41:08,764 and it sits on a leveling base that looks like modeling clay. 651 00:41:11,101 --> 00:41:12,501 Your nut knows what he's doing. 652 00:41:12,535 --> 00:41:13,803 All right. 653 00:41:13,837 --> 00:41:17,339 Somebody tell me how the wires go to the dynamite. 654 00:41:17,373 --> 00:41:20,575 do they pass through the modeling clay? 655 00:41:20,610 --> 00:41:24,479 No. They go around it and they disappear underneath. 656 00:41:24,514 --> 00:41:26,916 All the wires or just some? 657 00:41:26,950 --> 00:41:28,017 KELLY: All of them. 658 00:41:28,051 --> 00:41:31,920 The odds are some of them are decoys. 659 00:41:31,955 --> 00:41:35,091 All right now, put your hand gently on the metal box 660 00:41:35,125 --> 00:41:37,726 over the timing mechanism. 661 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,595 Now only one of you do that. 662 00:41:39,629 --> 00:41:42,464 Okay, I will. 663 00:41:42,499 --> 00:41:43,833 All right. Easy. 664 00:41:43,867 --> 00:41:45,868 Now just barely touch it. 665 00:41:45,903 --> 00:41:46,869 Then tell me about it. 666 00:41:48,738 --> 00:41:50,339 Is it warm? 667 00:41:56,346 --> 00:41:58,614 A little warm and there's a slight vibration. 668 00:41:58,648 --> 00:42:01,017 Is the vibration metric? 669 00:42:01,051 --> 00:42:02,685 Like a clock? 670 00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:03,986 SABRINA: No. 671 00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:06,789 it's steady but it doesn't feel like a clock. 672 00:42:06,823 --> 00:42:13,662 The sensation is, uh, is more like. What, uh-- 673 00:42:13,697 --> 00:42:16,031 Like a tuning fork looks, you know what I mean? 674 00:42:16,065 --> 00:42:17,065 Close enough. 675 00:42:17,100 --> 00:42:18,534 All right. 676 00:42:18,568 --> 00:42:22,504 Now take your hand off the bomb, Sabrina. 677 00:42:22,539 --> 00:42:25,274 Jill, one at a time, 678 00:42:25,308 --> 00:42:32,081 touch the wires but don't make any contact with the metal box. 679 00:42:32,115 --> 00:42:34,449 Then tell me about it. 680 00:42:34,483 --> 00:42:36,551 Okay. 681 00:42:39,756 --> 00:42:40,889 The red wire. 682 00:42:40,924 --> 00:42:43,192 Cool. There's no vibration. 683 00:42:45,429 --> 00:42:47,329 The green and white striped wire, 684 00:42:47,364 --> 00:42:48,964 no vibration, 685 00:42:48,998 --> 00:42:51,800 but it's warm. 686 00:42:52,969 --> 00:42:54,403 JILL: The black wire, 687 00:42:54,438 --> 00:42:55,404 cool, 688 00:42:55,439 --> 00:42:56,705 no vibration. 689 00:42:56,739 --> 00:42:59,075 The white wire, 690 00:42:59,109 --> 00:43:01,577 slight vibration, 691 00:43:01,611 --> 00:43:02,945 warm-- Slightly warm. 692 00:43:05,982 --> 00:43:07,716 The green wire, 693 00:43:07,751 --> 00:43:09,384 no vibration. 694 00:43:09,419 --> 00:43:12,020 Cool. No, no wait. 695 00:43:12,055 --> 00:43:15,491 It's warm. 696 00:43:15,525 --> 00:43:17,693 The blue and white striped, 697 00:43:17,727 --> 00:43:18,727 slight, 698 00:43:18,762 --> 00:43:21,063 yes, there's a slight vibration. 699 00:43:21,097 --> 00:43:23,532 Cool. No heat. 700 00:43:23,567 --> 00:43:27,002 Yellow. 701 00:43:27,036 --> 00:43:28,270 Cool. 702 00:43:28,304 --> 00:43:29,839 No vibration. 703 00:43:29,973 --> 00:43:32,540 I'll lay you 50 to one the guy who built this bomb 704 00:43:32,575 --> 00:43:33,708 is color-blind. 705 00:43:33,743 --> 00:43:38,180 According to his personnel file, he is. 706 00:43:38,214 --> 00:43:39,481 SABRINA: How did you know that? 707 00:43:39,515 --> 00:43:41,083 He keyed on the white wire. 708 00:43:41,117 --> 00:43:43,752 Now who hasn't been the guinea pig yet? 709 00:43:43,787 --> 00:43:44,720 You, Kelly? 710 00:43:45,789 --> 00:43:46,755 My turn. 711 00:43:46,790 --> 00:43:49,257 You get to lift the timing box. 712 00:43:49,292 --> 00:43:51,393 Lift it slow and easy. 713 00:43:51,427 --> 00:43:55,197 The instant you feel any kind of tension, stop. 714 00:43:55,231 --> 00:44:01,703 Then tell me how high above the cradle the box is. 715 00:44:01,737 --> 00:44:02,771 Got it? 716 00:44:02,806 --> 00:44:04,206 Got it. 717 00:44:15,518 --> 00:44:16,485 An inch. 718 00:44:16,519 --> 00:44:17,820 Maybe a little less. 719 00:44:17,854 --> 00:44:19,488 Call it an inch. 720 00:44:19,522 --> 00:44:21,824 Ease it back down. 721 00:44:21,858 --> 00:44:25,394 Then tell me when it's back in place. 722 00:44:31,100 --> 00:44:32,267 It's down. 723 00:44:32,301 --> 00:44:34,403 All right. Now, there are four moves. 724 00:44:34,437 --> 00:44:36,572 The first three are no problem, 725 00:44:36,606 --> 00:44:38,206 because it doesn't make any difference 726 00:44:38,241 --> 00:44:40,041 whether I'm right or wrong. 727 00:44:40,076 --> 00:44:43,812 The last one, if I'm right it's dangerous. 728 00:44:43,847 --> 00:44:46,181 If I'm wrong, it's a disaster. 729 00:44:49,919 --> 00:44:52,588 First, snip the blue and white wire 730 00:44:52,622 --> 00:44:55,391 but make sure the tool you are using 731 00:44:55,425 --> 00:44:58,327 isn't touching anything else, 732 00:44:58,361 --> 00:45:02,898 then clear it in both directions. 733 00:45:18,715 --> 00:45:20,182 JILL: Done. 734 00:45:23,519 --> 00:45:24,453 Done. 735 00:45:27,223 --> 00:45:28,156 Done. 736 00:45:29,826 --> 00:45:33,596 Now do the same thing to the red wire 737 00:45:33,630 --> 00:45:36,131 and then the yellow wire. 738 00:45:36,165 --> 00:45:37,633 In that order, 739 00:45:37,667 --> 00:45:39,034 same precautions. 740 00:46:09,198 --> 00:46:10,498 The red light just went on. 741 00:46:10,533 --> 00:46:11,666 No problem. 742 00:46:15,972 --> 00:46:17,239 Done. 743 00:46:19,109 --> 00:46:20,442 Done. 744 00:46:20,644 --> 00:46:22,411 JILL: Done. 745 00:46:22,445 --> 00:46:25,614 All right. Now comes the juicy one. 746 00:46:25,782 --> 00:46:28,683 If you've got what I think you've got, 747 00:46:28,717 --> 00:46:31,553 there are only two possibilities. 748 00:46:31,588 --> 00:46:34,890 When you snip the white wire, the thing goes boom. 749 00:46:34,925 --> 00:46:36,625 If it doesn't go boom, 750 00:46:36,659 --> 00:46:38,427 you've got somewhere between 10 seconds and one minute 751 00:46:38,461 --> 00:46:39,995 to get rid of it! 752 00:46:40,029 --> 00:46:44,533 What I'm saying is, no matter what, 753 00:46:44,567 --> 00:46:45,834 that thing is going to blow, 754 00:46:45,868 --> 00:46:49,138 so before you snip the white wire, 755 00:46:49,172 --> 00:46:51,240 get hold of the whole works, 756 00:46:51,274 --> 00:46:55,244 and make damn sure you have a path clear to the rail. 757 00:46:55,278 --> 00:46:58,347 Well are we clear to the rail, Bosley? 758 00:46:58,381 --> 00:46:59,882 Captain? 759 00:46:59,916 --> 00:47:03,084 The passengers and crew are amidships on the starboard side. 760 00:47:03,119 --> 00:47:05,721 There's nothing in your way to the port side. 761 00:47:09,458 --> 00:47:11,960 Hey, uh.... 762 00:47:11,995 --> 00:47:14,963 Look, um.... 763 00:47:14,998 --> 00:47:18,700 Let's all do it at the same time. 764 00:47:18,735 --> 00:47:24,072 That way, if we go, you know, we'll all go together. 765 00:47:24,107 --> 00:47:25,974 I'm ready. 766 00:47:26,008 --> 00:47:30,446 I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be. 767 00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:32,113 Shall we go on three? 768 00:47:36,152 --> 00:47:37,086 One. 769 00:47:38,287 --> 00:47:39,421 Two. 770 00:47:39,455 --> 00:47:40,455 JILL: Three. 771 00:48:34,109 --> 00:48:36,177 Charlie, we'd like to take the plane back 772 00:48:36,212 --> 00:48:38,847 but if we take Harry ashore, we'll have the legal hassle 773 00:48:38,882 --> 00:48:41,349 of deportation to deal with. 774 00:48:41,384 --> 00:48:47,222 And that won't really do what we were hired by Mr. Strauss to do. 775 00:48:47,256 --> 00:48:48,857 But more important, Charlie, 776 00:48:48,892 --> 00:48:52,494 if we don't come back by boat, we may not come back at all. 777 00:48:52,529 --> 00:48:53,896 All right, Angels. 778 00:48:53,930 --> 00:48:54,930 You can stay. 779 00:48:54,964 --> 00:48:56,231 But I must warn you, 780 00:48:56,265 --> 00:48:58,834 an ocean voyage can get very boring 781 00:48:58,868 --> 00:49:00,969 unless you have some sort of activity. 782 00:49:01,003 --> 00:49:03,271 Oh, don't you worry about that, Charlie. 783 00:49:03,306 --> 00:49:04,873 We have an activity planned. 784 00:49:04,908 --> 00:49:07,709 In fact it's one of the best loved by man. 785 00:49:07,744 --> 00:49:10,312 I'm not following you, Angels. 786 00:49:10,346 --> 00:49:11,847 Think about it, Charlie. 787 00:49:11,881 --> 00:49:13,115 Just think about it. 788 00:49:13,149 --> 00:49:14,616 Bye, Charlie. 789 00:49:15,718 --> 00:49:17,219 Thank you. 790 00:49:20,690 --> 00:49:23,158 We'll be gentle. 65234

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